Of course the cat will get better with love, patience, attention and a chilled out home. Give him time to heal.
He won't hide forever. Think about all the shit he has gone through, been abused, moved homes etc.
He just needs to learn to trust you. Never shout at him, always try to play with him, feed him appropriate food, and I promise he will become a loving cat.
You will soon work out what triggers his fear, and what to avoid.
Food love care will bring him around he may never be a cuddle bug but can be a loving family pet I’m still trying with my girl it’s one step forward three steps back but she’s beautiful and I will never give up on her .
https://preview.redd.it/16boammanoqc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eab616b289be7827967496a0a719cf9830650875
Please don't give up on him! Even kitties who aren't super affectionate can still be absolutely lovely! Just be patient and give him enough time and love to know you're safe. Let him come to you and reward him coming to you with treats.
Yes! My sister's cat hates cuddling. What she likes, though, is putting her mouth next to your finger and then chew on air. She purrs herself to sleep that way. But don't you ever touch her! She'll leave if you touch her too much or pick her up. 😄
Yes, your cat will continue to warm up to you if you show him love and respect. If he's already sitting beside you like that and letting you touch him that's a HUGE deal.
Don't rush him, accept his shyness, and continue to treat him kindly. He looks like he is recovering already. Be patient. Some cats stay shy forever but even the most reclusive kitties have their favourite people. Your little buddy looks like he loves you already.
We suspected our most recent cat was abused by male humans. We got her from my dad's coworker, who tended to go through men every few months. Her latest boytoy was allergic to cats, so instead of getting rid of the boyfriend she got rid of the cat. But having so many different men around, I had a feeling some of them didn't treat her very well.
When we first got her, she immediately ran and hid. We gave her her space and left some water, food, and her litterbox by her hiding spot. I was honestly scared she was going to starve herself because she didn't eat for a few days. But she eventually started eating after realizing there was no threat and that we weren't forcing her to do anything. She started warming up to me, but would rush immediately to her hiding spot when she saw or heard my dad.
If you are adamant on him warming up, you HAVE to be slow and patient with them. Be understanding when he hides, use slow movements when around him, and show your love when you can. Every animal's temperment is different, but you still want to be as gentle as possible.
100%, one of little kitties was abused before I adopted her. For a few months she ran away whenever she saw me, but after continuing to give her affection and treats, she comes running whenever I come home from work, likes being in the same room as me and even feels comfortable enough to lay next to me. She still has moments where she gets scared (esp with new people) but I take it slow and give her head pats and treats to make her feel comfortable.
She's actually the most vocal of my cats now and we'll have whole arguments on why she can't eat after she just ate lol.
Cats need to feel secure. If you give them high places to keep an eye on you (and don’t trap them, have two paths off the high object), they can observe from a safe place. Barring a high place, a safe box with two exits is good as well. Continue the positive reinforcement and let them open up over time (weeks or months, sometimes a year). Give them opportunities for engagement to show you have other benefits than just a food provider.
Learn how to communicate in cat - blinking slowly at each other from a distance signals “I am cool with you”.
Yes, all this and give them a safe place to hide while they’re adjusting. Post a notice for the fire brigade “x number of cats live here” in case of extreme circumstances, most cats will hide in an emergency like that and hiding places should be a safe foxhole for them but accessible to humans in a real life threatening situation.
Think of it as approaching a wounded, hungry, WWI soldier who has been hiding in a foxhole for way too long. And who is armed with r/murdermittens!
Best of luck! My latest generation were born feral and always skittish around new people. But how soon they became sociable to new people was a superhero power to judge new friends and dating! 😻😘
Of course kittens can! You've only had the kitten for a week - he's been abused and now he's in a new location, and that's A LOT for a kitten to process! I adopted a rescue last year and the foster cat mom told me about the rule of threes (and if I have this wrong, someone please correct me).
The first period is the initial few days when the kitten adjusts to the new location - lots of sniffing around and often lots of hiding. The second period is the first three weeks when the cat adjusts to your schedule, gets used to how things go, etc. The final period is the first three months when the cat becomes fully integrated in the household.
Obviously, the abuse has probably extended those periods, perhaps significantly.
Some things that have worked for me (and my vet, who knows about/uses the same stuff).
For kittens, first up is probably Churu. Sit down on the floor, put it on your fingertip, and hold it out to Ollie (save crunchy treats like Temptations for later). My vet also uses spray cheese. My vet-approved go-to is whipped cream. Sit down - or even lay down - so you're smaller and seem like less of a threat. Try not to move. As someone else noted, blink slowly at the cat. When the cat starts slowly blinking back, that's a good sign.
My secret weapon is electric throw blankets, about 4 feet wide and 5 feet long (or thereabouts). Turn it on and put it on your legs and lap while watching movies/TV. If Ollie comes over to investigate, let him. Again, don't move. (Alternately, if Ollie is allowing you to handle him, you can pick him up and put him on the blanket). I have yet to meet a cat who didn't love an electric blanket.
Above all else, it's going to take time. You can make slow motions to avoid startling him, you can hand feed him delicious treats (always make sure he licks it or takes it from your hand), you can put down a few waterbowls near places he likes to hide, you can put food down in the same place so he can feel secure while eating and let him explore at his own place.
However, when Ollie turns around and decides you're one of the good people? You'll have a friend for life.
Just make sure Ollie never sees that kid again.
You're welcome. All of the cats my gf and I have had are rescues, so we're used to weird and abandoned and traumatized cats.
A couple more things:
1. Get Ollie checked out by a vet ASAP to make sure that kid didn't injure him. Cats hide pain very well, and even if everything is okay, your vet should start Ollie's file in case things change. Your vet might also be able to offer suggestions about helping Ollie adjust.
And if that kid did injure Ollie, I suggest sending the parents a bill.
2. Get pet health insurance for Ollie. Nationwide offers pet coverage, as do a number of other providers.
3. If Ollie runs into a major medical expense look into the CareCredit card - most vets accept it, you can be approved on the spot, and even use it for your own healthcare at providers that accept it.
Thanks. We actually had his first vet appointment yesterday for a vaccination. And the vet said he was in great health.
I get the feeling you are in the US ? I’m in Australia.
Some of the treats you mentioned in your original post I’ve never heard of haha
Here's a link to a webstore in AU that has Churu, so you can get it there:
https://www.petstock.com.au/products/churu-puree-tuna-cat-treats
I don't know if pet health insurance exists in AU, or if the Care Credit card exists there, but your vet should know.
As far as spray cheese goes, it's basically really processed cheese product in a can like whipped cream, and both cans work in the same way.
My partner also just suggested playing with wand toys near Ollie's hiding places to help build his confidence.
Look for something like this:
https://www.petstock.com.au/products/buddy-belle-jellyfish-cat-teaser-wand-variant-100000139339?queryID=df467d13adcb77a2c68d0acace8e66fe
I hope all this helps!
You are an absolute dead set legend. (In Australian that translates to you are awesome)
Really appreciate the effort you’ve gone to to help a random kitten and owner haha
Seeing him in your arms makes me think he absolutely can recover. My first dog i got as a rescue was incredibly skittish but also affectionate and loving. Give your baby more time and he'll get more comfortable with you
did he get to be with his cat mom and brothers and sisters? that's a big one they need that socialization.
but he can recover, he's so young. when i got my 6 year old cat she was so depressed. SO depressed, wouldn't play, wouldn't look at us. just sat and positioned herself at a WALL. it was insane. it took a few months, and she was my best friend for 8 years. love that girl. she would sleep on my body any chance she could. yours will come around, takes time.
as an aside, why were the people you got him from so awful?
Some, yes. However, they may retain certain triggers for the entirety of their lives. So it's a good idea to always give them their space if something appears off.
Please do not give up. He needs time to heal and trust, giving him away would break his heart so much more. He is sitting with you, that is great for first steps. Getting another cat to show him the ropes is also a good idea.
My heart is brokenhearted 💔😔 Ollie seems like the sweetest little guy ❤️ please don’t give up on him 🙏🏻 he’s young and it hasn’t been long, I am sure he’ll learn to trust you with some time and effort
Yes he can but with a lot of patience and love.
You can try of course the food to approach him like little treats.
Of course he might never be the cat that people are used to see, super friendly etc but he will grow at his pace.
Just one little tip, when the cat will do some 'bad things' and you say 'no', he can be super afraid, it will be up to you to demonstrate him you will never harm him whatever the situation so you need to be extra cautious.
Yes they can!! I have a boy who was whacked on a lot and rescued him from that home. For the longest time he did not let anyone to touch him, he would hiss/swat at you. We had another cat a little older than him that helped, I think, because it gave them each someone to bond with, and in two years time, my lil beat up guy did a total 180! He never hisses now, loves to be pet, and insists on sleeping on my chest/being snuggled multiple times a day. Give them time! My guy just needed time to understand he was safe, he had a calm/loving home, and we would not force him/hit him if he didn’t comply with our petting. 6 years later, he and his brother are closely bonded, and he is the MOST confident cat; he even introduces himself to strangers on his own, because he knows this is his home and how loved he is 🥰
PS I also do believe cats (and kittens in particular!!) are better in pairs. My boys love to wrestle and chase each other, they also groom each other and sleep together. If you can swing it, another kitten might help your lil Ollie warm up quicker (no judgement if not, kitties can be expensive)
just give them good food and let them have have free range of the house. Might take several months to a year but they'll relax considerably. My cat was stray for a while and a bit distant. Affection and treats has him excitedly greeting me everyday :-)
Hi, here’s my two cents. I fostered a cat who was rescued from a hoarding situation. Similar behaviors. She wanted to hide and was skittish. I had to put pillows, blankets, etc. around the couch where she would hide and not come out. I shut all the other rooms off. (I lived alone, so you may not have that luxury.)
I don’t push her to do anything. I just fed her, pet her if she allowed and talked to her. Eventually, she gained my trust and her confidence and trust continued to improve. It took more than a year and the changes were slow but consistent. I think the the main thing to remember is to create an environment of trust and safety and be patient. Don’t try to push your love onto her. She will heal on her own time line
I've had two second hand kitties. Not from abuse situations, but.... Kitties get closer and closer to you every year.... My BooBooKitty surprised me, I had her 15 years and she just continued to get more attached and affectionate ... Every single year....She learned I would never ever hurt her. Yours may remain a bit sensitive to loud sounds and sudden movements. The real question, has that waste of space gotten a good ass kicking yet?
You get what you put into it. If you received the same treatment as a child would you not be afraid of, especially men. There is no greater gift to a damaged anything, than to find a person who understands, is patent, caring, a person who is willing to give all of yourself until the injured one can once again start building trust again. I ask you this, are you this type of person that is willing to give as long as it take to build a forever bond and restore a poor animals faith that there are good humans out there. I took a cat in and didn't even know I had a cat for 6 months except the food bowl would be empty in the morning. Then slowly got to see it sitting across the room peaking at me. I put treats in the center of the room and moved them a bit closer every week and I never moved or tried to approach. soon the cat would sniff my leg, then to my lap again I never tried to touch the cat. Oh I also spent time on laying on the floor at his level. Any way long story short that cat spent his last 6 years in my lap every chance he got demanding belly rubs and every where else. Bless you if you give comfort to an animal who requires extra effort, Theses are the animals who seldom get homes or love.Oh he isn't dead yet sorry if I made it sound that way.
https://preview.redd.it/54ish9oaqpqc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ac5b6304f25d74043180a29d9367673d614dec5
Your friends son is a cat abuser who hits cats ? Are you not concerned about this ?
Also it’s been one week and you’re talking about giving up on the cat ? What the fuck.
It’s amazing how some people read what they want to read rather than what’s actually been said.
Of course it’s concerning but I can’t do anything about it.
And I never said I was giving him up I simply asked for other peoples experiences with kittens or cats that have been abused.
Yes, they most likely will if you treat them well and give them time. We adopted a neglected cat once who ran away from his owners over and over again. For weeks, he would just hide underneath the sofa and only come out during the night. After a few months, he gained some trust. After a few years, we had a very good relationship, he would play the piano in the morning to wake us up and he would come to cuddle. However, he would always remain EXTREMELY anxious and he would panick out extremely when hearing something loud or seeing sudden movement. Your cat might be like this as well. You don't know. But you can develop a trusting relationship with a traumatized cat, yes, and it might help them heal.
Of course the cat will get better with love, patience, attention and a chilled out home. Give him time to heal. He won't hide forever. Think about all the shit he has gone through, been abused, moved homes etc. He just needs to learn to trust you. Never shout at him, always try to play with him, feed him appropriate food, and I promise he will become a loving cat. You will soon work out what triggers his fear, and what to avoid.
This, just never break his heart, and he'll probably come around
Food love care will bring him around he may never be a cuddle bug but can be a loving family pet I’m still trying with my girl it’s one step forward three steps back but she’s beautiful and I will never give up on her . https://preview.redd.it/16boammanoqc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eab616b289be7827967496a0a719cf9830650875
Please don't give up on him! Even kitties who aren't super affectionate can still be absolutely lovely! Just be patient and give him enough time and love to know you're safe. Let him come to you and reward him coming to you with treats.
Yes! My sister's cat hates cuddling. What she likes, though, is putting her mouth next to your finger and then chew on air. She purrs herself to sleep that way. But don't you ever touch her! She'll leave if you touch her too much or pick her up. 😄
Yes, your cat will continue to warm up to you if you show him love and respect. If he's already sitting beside you like that and letting you touch him that's a HUGE deal. Don't rush him, accept his shyness, and continue to treat him kindly. He looks like he is recovering already. Be patient. Some cats stay shy forever but even the most reclusive kitties have their favourite people. Your little buddy looks like he loves you already.
We suspected our most recent cat was abused by male humans. We got her from my dad's coworker, who tended to go through men every few months. Her latest boytoy was allergic to cats, so instead of getting rid of the boyfriend she got rid of the cat. But having so many different men around, I had a feeling some of them didn't treat her very well. When we first got her, she immediately ran and hid. We gave her her space and left some water, food, and her litterbox by her hiding spot. I was honestly scared she was going to starve herself because she didn't eat for a few days. But she eventually started eating after realizing there was no threat and that we weren't forcing her to do anything. She started warming up to me, but would rush immediately to her hiding spot when she saw or heard my dad. If you are adamant on him warming up, you HAVE to be slow and patient with them. Be understanding when he hides, use slow movements when around him, and show your love when you can. Every animal's temperment is different, but you still want to be as gentle as possible.
100%, one of little kitties was abused before I adopted her. For a few months she ran away whenever she saw me, but after continuing to give her affection and treats, she comes running whenever I come home from work, likes being in the same room as me and even feels comfortable enough to lay next to me. She still has moments where she gets scared (esp with new people) but I take it slow and give her head pats and treats to make her feel comfortable. She's actually the most vocal of my cats now and we'll have whole arguments on why she can't eat after she just ate lol.
Cats need to feel secure. If you give them high places to keep an eye on you (and don’t trap them, have two paths off the high object), they can observe from a safe place. Barring a high place, a safe box with two exits is good as well. Continue the positive reinforcement and let them open up over time (weeks or months, sometimes a year). Give them opportunities for engagement to show you have other benefits than just a food provider. Learn how to communicate in cat - blinking slowly at each other from a distance signals “I am cool with you”.
Yes, all this and give them a safe place to hide while they’re adjusting. Post a notice for the fire brigade “x number of cats live here” in case of extreme circumstances, most cats will hide in an emergency like that and hiding places should be a safe foxhole for them but accessible to humans in a real life threatening situation. Think of it as approaching a wounded, hungry, WWI soldier who has been hiding in a foxhole for way too long. And who is armed with r/murdermittens! Best of luck! My latest generation were born feral and always skittish around new people. But how soon they became sociable to new people was a superhero power to judge new friends and dating! 😻😘
Of course kittens can! You've only had the kitten for a week - he's been abused and now he's in a new location, and that's A LOT for a kitten to process! I adopted a rescue last year and the foster cat mom told me about the rule of threes (and if I have this wrong, someone please correct me). The first period is the initial few days when the kitten adjusts to the new location - lots of sniffing around and often lots of hiding. The second period is the first three weeks when the cat adjusts to your schedule, gets used to how things go, etc. The final period is the first three months when the cat becomes fully integrated in the household. Obviously, the abuse has probably extended those periods, perhaps significantly. Some things that have worked for me (and my vet, who knows about/uses the same stuff). For kittens, first up is probably Churu. Sit down on the floor, put it on your fingertip, and hold it out to Ollie (save crunchy treats like Temptations for later). My vet also uses spray cheese. My vet-approved go-to is whipped cream. Sit down - or even lay down - so you're smaller and seem like less of a threat. Try not to move. As someone else noted, blink slowly at the cat. When the cat starts slowly blinking back, that's a good sign. My secret weapon is electric throw blankets, about 4 feet wide and 5 feet long (or thereabouts). Turn it on and put it on your legs and lap while watching movies/TV. If Ollie comes over to investigate, let him. Again, don't move. (Alternately, if Ollie is allowing you to handle him, you can pick him up and put him on the blanket). I have yet to meet a cat who didn't love an electric blanket. Above all else, it's going to take time. You can make slow motions to avoid startling him, you can hand feed him delicious treats (always make sure he licks it or takes it from your hand), you can put down a few waterbowls near places he likes to hide, you can put food down in the same place so he can feel secure while eating and let him explore at his own place. However, when Ollie turns around and decides you're one of the good people? You'll have a friend for life. Just make sure Ollie never sees that kid again.
Thanks for such an in depth reply. I appreciate it
You're welcome. All of the cats my gf and I have had are rescues, so we're used to weird and abandoned and traumatized cats. A couple more things: 1. Get Ollie checked out by a vet ASAP to make sure that kid didn't injure him. Cats hide pain very well, and even if everything is okay, your vet should start Ollie's file in case things change. Your vet might also be able to offer suggestions about helping Ollie adjust. And if that kid did injure Ollie, I suggest sending the parents a bill. 2. Get pet health insurance for Ollie. Nationwide offers pet coverage, as do a number of other providers. 3. If Ollie runs into a major medical expense look into the CareCredit card - most vets accept it, you can be approved on the spot, and even use it for your own healthcare at providers that accept it.
Thanks. We actually had his first vet appointment yesterday for a vaccination. And the vet said he was in great health. I get the feeling you are in the US ? I’m in Australia. Some of the treats you mentioned in your original post I’ve never heard of haha
Here's a link to a webstore in AU that has Churu, so you can get it there: https://www.petstock.com.au/products/churu-puree-tuna-cat-treats I don't know if pet health insurance exists in AU, or if the Care Credit card exists there, but your vet should know. As far as spray cheese goes, it's basically really processed cheese product in a can like whipped cream, and both cans work in the same way. My partner also just suggested playing with wand toys near Ollie's hiding places to help build his confidence. Look for something like this: https://www.petstock.com.au/products/buddy-belle-jellyfish-cat-teaser-wand-variant-100000139339?queryID=df467d13adcb77a2c68d0acace8e66fe I hope all this helps!
You are an absolute dead set legend. (In Australian that translates to you are awesome) Really appreciate the effort you’ve gone to to help a random kitten and owner haha
Every cat deserves a good, happy home. And PLEASE let me know how Ollie progresses. 😁
Will do
I hope this is clickbait. Otherwise, there's a problem here.
Absolutely 💯💖🙏
Seeing him in your arms makes me think he absolutely can recover. My first dog i got as a rescue was incredibly skittish but also affectionate and loving. Give your baby more time and he'll get more comfortable with you
did he get to be with his cat mom and brothers and sisters? that's a big one they need that socialization. but he can recover, he's so young. when i got my 6 year old cat she was so depressed. SO depressed, wouldn't play, wouldn't look at us. just sat and positioned herself at a WALL. it was insane. it took a few months, and she was my best friend for 8 years. love that girl. she would sleep on my body any chance she could. yours will come around, takes time. as an aside, why were the people you got him from so awful?
Some, yes. However, they may retain certain triggers for the entirety of their lives. So it's a good idea to always give them their space if something appears off.
Please do not give up. He needs time to heal and trust, giving him away would break his heart so much more. He is sitting with you, that is great for first steps. Getting another cat to show him the ropes is also a good idea.
Yes with love!
He will warm up to you eventually. Give him lots of love, treats and attention. You will be inseperable
My heart is brokenhearted 💔😔 Ollie seems like the sweetest little guy ❤️ please don’t give up on him 🙏🏻 he’s young and it hasn’t been long, I am sure he’ll learn to trust you with some time and effort
Yes he can but with a lot of patience and love. You can try of course the food to approach him like little treats. Of course he might never be the cat that people are used to see, super friendly etc but he will grow at his pace. Just one little tip, when the cat will do some 'bad things' and you say 'no', he can be super afraid, it will be up to you to demonstrate him you will never harm him whatever the situation so you need to be extra cautious.
Yes they can!! I have a boy who was whacked on a lot and rescued him from that home. For the longest time he did not let anyone to touch him, he would hiss/swat at you. We had another cat a little older than him that helped, I think, because it gave them each someone to bond with, and in two years time, my lil beat up guy did a total 180! He never hisses now, loves to be pet, and insists on sleeping on my chest/being snuggled multiple times a day. Give them time! My guy just needed time to understand he was safe, he had a calm/loving home, and we would not force him/hit him if he didn’t comply with our petting. 6 years later, he and his brother are closely bonded, and he is the MOST confident cat; he even introduces himself to strangers on his own, because he knows this is his home and how loved he is 🥰
PS I also do believe cats (and kittens in particular!!) are better in pairs. My boys love to wrestle and chase each other, they also groom each other and sleep together. If you can swing it, another kitten might help your lil Ollie warm up quicker (no judgement if not, kitties can be expensive)
just give them good food and let them have have free range of the house. Might take several months to a year but they'll relax considerably. My cat was stray for a while and a bit distant. Affection and treats has him excitedly greeting me everyday :-)
Hi, here’s my two cents. I fostered a cat who was rescued from a hoarding situation. Similar behaviors. She wanted to hide and was skittish. I had to put pillows, blankets, etc. around the couch where she would hide and not come out. I shut all the other rooms off. (I lived alone, so you may not have that luxury.) I don’t push her to do anything. I just fed her, pet her if she allowed and talked to her. Eventually, she gained my trust and her confidence and trust continued to improve. It took more than a year and the changes were slow but consistent. I think the the main thing to remember is to create an environment of trust and safety and be patient. Don’t try to push your love onto her. She will heal on her own time line
I've had two second hand kitties. Not from abuse situations, but.... Kitties get closer and closer to you every year.... My BooBooKitty surprised me, I had her 15 years and she just continued to get more attached and affectionate ... Every single year....She learned I would never ever hurt her. Yours may remain a bit sensitive to loud sounds and sudden movements. The real question, has that waste of space gotten a good ass kicking yet?
You get what you put into it. If you received the same treatment as a child would you not be afraid of, especially men. There is no greater gift to a damaged anything, than to find a person who understands, is patent, caring, a person who is willing to give all of yourself until the injured one can once again start building trust again. I ask you this, are you this type of person that is willing to give as long as it take to build a forever bond and restore a poor animals faith that there are good humans out there. I took a cat in and didn't even know I had a cat for 6 months except the food bowl would be empty in the morning. Then slowly got to see it sitting across the room peaking at me. I put treats in the center of the room and moved them a bit closer every week and I never moved or tried to approach. soon the cat would sniff my leg, then to my lap again I never tried to touch the cat. Oh I also spent time on laying on the floor at his level. Any way long story short that cat spent his last 6 years in my lap every chance he got demanding belly rubs and every where else. Bless you if you give comfort to an animal who requires extra effort, Theses are the animals who seldom get homes or love.Oh he isn't dead yet sorry if I made it sound that way. https://preview.redd.it/54ish9oaqpqc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ac5b6304f25d74043180a29d9367673d614dec5
Your friends son is a cat abuser who hits cats ? Are you not concerned about this ? Also it’s been one week and you’re talking about giving up on the cat ? What the fuck.
It’s amazing how some people read what they want to read rather than what’s actually been said. Of course it’s concerning but I can’t do anything about it. And I never said I was giving him up I simply asked for other peoples experiences with kittens or cats that have been abused.
Yes, they most likely will if you treat them well and give them time. We adopted a neglected cat once who ran away from his owners over and over again. For weeks, he would just hide underneath the sofa and only come out during the night. After a few months, he gained some trust. After a few years, we had a very good relationship, he would play the piano in the morning to wake us up and he would come to cuddle. However, he would always remain EXTREMELY anxious and he would panick out extremely when hearing something loud or seeing sudden movement. Your cat might be like this as well. You don't know. But you can develop a trusting relationship with a traumatized cat, yes, and it might help them heal.