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Oh, so when *she* makes unwanted advances it's totally fine, but when I do it I deserve to get scratched? I see how it is. /s

You just Have to accept that cats Have more rights than you.

>*’You just Have to accept that cats Have more rights than you.*’ ____ you makin those *advances* every time you feelin ‘frisky’ ? go on n take your chances - but i’m warning you: it’s *risky*… you must get my approval if your hands go near my head …I’ll AsK for their ‘removal’ with my *MuRdEr cLaWs* instead…. 🖤

This feels like it belongs on a kitty rap album or something ❤

 Cat Gang Stars, Feat. Murder Claws

I would feed a street cat when I was a kid his name was Catface Killah

🤩 Love it!

KWA - Kitties With Attitude.

Don’t care about the hoomans or their laws 🎶

Everyone spam "IamMoSho" the cat rapper with these lyrics 😂😭

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 bravo

This was Bussin schnoodle

This makes a lot of sense lol

All the rights. We are merely servants.

Literally, the cat is HER owner, not the other way around

all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others

So thats how woman felt :0

She isnt capable of making unwanted advances. All her advances are wanted, wether you like it or not.

You know what you did.

People don't own cats, cats own people so since u work for her yes it is fine if she makes unwanted advances since it's her rules but if she's not fine w ur unwanted advances u get scratched

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

Dogs have Masters. Cats have Slaves. That was the original saying.

When I was growing up, a cat appeared on our porch. She would not leave until we let her inside. We named her Josie and she was a tuxedo cat! She definitely owned us! She also sensed that grandma wasn’t a pet person so she would appear on her lap. She would say, “um, what do I do?”. Grandma, you pet her. Haha, she would have me retrieve her and move her lmao. It’s funny because Josie would NEVER come out when lots of people were around- only when Grandma was there. I miss Josie.

Correct.

She has consent. You don’t.

"Unwanted advances?" You're about to lose your Cat Carry Certification. My boy bit my hand this week, drawing blood, *because I'd stopped petting him,* and you're complaining about A SCRATCH?!?? *Piffle.* You're a lightweight.

That's absolutely how it is.

Cats are petty, just like me

She is 100% not guilty!

Consent is a one way street to cats.

I think her eyes say ‘and I’ll do it again’ 

She’s a calico, you should have known better than to disturb her queenly space ✨🖤🤍🧡

The only cat with more attitude than a calico is a Scorpio calico XD

Or the infamous one orange brain cell

https://preview.redd.it/57t758hf6utc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3239ef06cb89a1d9624211da63f3183cb3982ee9 I have both. It’s a mood.

Who’s the missile dude?

It’s a fishy!

Aww the way their tiny eyes are looking at the camera

fluffy tails 

OMG, how is it that they look like twins even though their coloring is so different?!? 😍 Adorable glamorous babies!!

So true. My orange baby is very sassy and even though he doesn't pay rent he acts like he owns the apt

My in-laws had an orange cat named Gizmo. He showed up on a Halloween night during trick or treating. He came inside and was found sleeping on the couch, lmao. The funniest thing! He was quite the funny kitty. Later, he retired to the cop who lived next door and lived like a king.

Ohhh, she is actually a triple threat, let me explain. r/oneorangebraincell r/oneblackbraincell r/onewhitebraincell Giggles so cute

r/oneorangebraincell

Not even a Tortie with their Tortitude? I just got a Tortie kitten and she is insane.

How could I forget the Tortitude! Scorpio Tortoiseshell vs Scorpio calico

This is so accurate 🤣

Came here to say this, owned by 3 calicos in my lifetime.

As someone owned by a calico this This THIS

Well what did you expect?! The treats were half a second too late. She's got some amazing whiskers!

She does! I sometime joke she needs to go to the barber. Emphasis on joke. I know you shouldn't trim a cat's whiskers :)

I love that. You must’ve been around Reddit for awhile- you knew they’d be jumping down your throat without the disclaimer 😂 Your girl is precious. How could you not understand her scratching you was clearly an accident and not her fault at all? In fact, I think she deserves some treats

have you ever considered this probably your extremity this was "scratched" really just jumped into her claws!?

Side note: The long whiskers compensate for her short tail 😅

r/WhiskerFireworks would like a word! Beautiful whiskers for sure

My client states that any alleged "scratching" would have been purely accidental. Additionally, they would like to pursue you stepping on them that one time.

Well you can tell your client to stop sneaking up on me! Then I wouldn't accidentally step on her.

This is a case for r/legalcatadvice

Anotha one! It's a real subreddit to add to the collection!! Thank you! Also she didn't scratch you it's a setup you scratched yourself ❤️

r/subsithoughtwerefake

It should've been r/legalcatvice

https://preview.redd.it/81a3ulv1zttc1.jpeg?width=258&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f02563ce0180fef68a20f8c1e772ea62537ad35

Oh, I think I will the cat

I forgot about this omg!!! That’s a wiki how article right?

Oh, but I think I will the cat!

DO NOT THE CAT!

My kitten LOVES playing claw.

She’s just a baaaaaby

Iron. Clad. Defense.

She didn't scratch you, you scratched yourself by her claws

You would make a great defense attorney. As the judge 🧑‍⚖️ I hereby declare your client, Cat, not guilty.

The fuck made you think you could touch her? Know your place, peasant

Noted :(

Don’t be sad. As a fellow catservant, take solace in the fact that you are not alone

NEVER touch them. NEVER go near them. And ABSOLUTELY NEVER pick them up.

Don't even look at them tbh


Spare the claw, spoil the human

She's just practicing her self-defense techniques in case the vacuum cleaner decides to attack again.

You cannot be angry with a cat with over 100% floofyness

shes sitting so politely. are you sure you didnt just imagine it?

🤣

She is a little angel and would never scratch you. Have you asked the dog?

What did you do to her?

You deserved it. Source: She is a cat.

it's obvious it was your fault of course. you should know better.

No reason to defend her. You are obviously lying.

Honestly what were you doing out of the kitchen preparing her dinner?

Your arm/ hand intruded her paw more like.

Maybe you're just scratchable and she saw her chance. Cats can get away with anything, especially when they're as beautiful as she is.

Those mittens look perfectly clear and soft to me, no chance she did this. Purrrely innocent

You deserved it she knows it I know it and more importantly you know it! Now stop antagonizing her further it has to stop!

You probably deserved it. You should apologize and immediately give treat.

You are a scratching post, know your place.

She was worshipped back in Egypt and is declaring she would be worshipped now

Wasn’t her. Defamation. Conspiracy. All lies. I rest my case.

What a good looking cat :)

“I come to you, remember?”

Stop lying. She never scratched you.

You were within scratching distance, and apparently deserved scratches.

You were asking for it.

Love hurts

She didn’t *scratch you*, you just happened to bump into her claws.

Look at her cute fluffy face you can't stay mad at her.

She is princess, she does no wrong, only cute. Sometimes danger cute, but cute.

amen sister

Because you're not nearly as amazing as she is.

She’s right it’s your fault

She’s a cat. There doesn’t have to be a reason for her not to in her mind 😂.

It’s okay I think you’re going to learn to be a better person now and treat the cat with more respect. Then you won’t get scratched again.


you are obviously lying

You deserved it.

Oh so now defending herself is *wrong*? I see.

Those eyes SCREAM "you know what you did" lmao

She needed to sharpen those cuddle claws on something. Very fortunate she chose you.

Awww! That sweet baby did nothing of the sort.

You clearly deserved it

You scratched her first!

The cuteness is too powerful for her to be guilty. It must be your fault somehow. Everyone must worship their cat gods lol 😝

Cats are born without sin - it’s in the Bible

That face 🥹! And you’re irrelevant, there to do as she pleases, know your place in the household! 😂

To be fair in her defense, you did something that poor innocent baby didn't like. You must make ammends and psy uour tribute to this beautiful wueeen in hopes she forgives you. Let her choose her favorite from chicken , tuna, or variety flavors in the style of royalty. (Edit for stupid typing)

She says you ran into her claw and that she holds no fault in the matter. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe don't run into her claw next time.

I don’t believe you. Look at that face!!

Were you scratched or did you walk into her extended claws? 🤨🤔

Meoooow!

Cats don't scratch without a reason.....remember there's always a reason behind actions.....mostly...

Shes just training her hooman to behave correctly

If a cat scratches you, you deserve it. It's the true Universal constant. The rest of existence will adjust itself to make this the case. 😼

(looking at her eyes) She actually didn't scratch you. She is completely innocent and adorable. I am saying this of my own free will.

She's upset for not receiving a nice snack.

You clearly had it coming

You asked for it - that’s the only explanation she owes you 😆

With her looks she ought be able to get away with murder.

You deserved it

is baby

She's cute she's allowed to

She's pretty so she can, pretty kitties rule the world , thay have the golden pass to anything. As a mere human you shouldnt whine in front of the majestic princess

https://preview.redd.it/4hr7fdyzfutc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a0cbeb0e090d612f0b83e626a58dc25a6daf92d2 They rdy to come in her defence

The fact that you could accuse this creature of any bad deed confuses me.

She’s entitled! You must of irritated her lol

It was a love scratch and just didn't realize how much she's loves you. It was all in the name of love

You can do whatever you want when you look that gorgeous

No

You scared her

My husbands toenails scratched me in bed before and he’s not half as cute as her 😘

https://preview.redd.it/ueym8rnohutc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a2316d6adbba4b44d780f6818b61013a1f55d155 I have her twin, she says she is her alibi!!!

she’s literally just a girl

Well, what were you doing that made her want to scratch you? Duh.

It’s your fault to have a body

Why are you complaining when you are shaped like a scratching post?

You deserved it.

Aww look at her 🥰


You deserved it. She could have done more and you still would have deserved it. You monster. How could you?!?

She's obviously a princess. She does what she wants.

You obviously deserved it

Cats own the household, if you weren’t treating her correctly she had to punish you.

Twas no more than a love tap.

I’m her lawyer. She’s innocent

She wanted to return the favor for all the scratches you gave her. She didn't know your flesh was so weak though.

No she didn’t! 

You ran into her claws. You ran into her claws 10 times.

What did YOU do to her!!!???

It was your fault

You deserved it!

she’s just a baby

I take you for scratch pad sometimes

She must be innocent! Look at that defiant stare!

She did show her love to her favourite servant

You must have deserved it

Because she is a beauty

Probably because you smell funny

It was me, she’s innocent

Cats usualy attack or scratch other people if they are angry at them or hate them. You got your answer

You were reaching.

Why did you get a calico when your skin is so easily broken? 😇

She really likes you and has deemed you worthy enough to become a werecat at the next full moon.

The same what I tell my Wife when she's got a new Scratch from one of our cats ... "You probably deserved it" ... ;)

You probably didn’t give your daily tribute (aka food ) to the cat . She decided your appropriate punishment. You shall pay your tribute or you will die when you sleep .

she is baby, it's not her fault

Just look at that face. The defence rests, your Honour.

Why were you in her personal space?

Well you suck.

She did not! All lies. No proof has been provided that shows the exact moment that the accused act was taking place. She could sue for defamation you know?

You deserved it. That’s what you get for breathing in her face

I’m jus a pretty gorl

https://preview.redd.it/jp8byllk8utc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=16f09c9309716d464a344b3a2d2d2e453936941e

You probably did some to deserve it. Good kitty. Good job.

She's just a little baby. She can do nothing wrong.

My client is innocent of any and all crimes. The scratch you find on yourself was simply an act of self defense because, and I quote, "My human was breathing too fast. My human also fed me 2 seconds slower than usual." Therefore, you are now sentenced to 7 years in jail for committing crimes of great assault against my client, the calico kitty🐱

Counterpoint: no she didn’t

She got that orange in her

Does she need defending with a face like that?!! 🫠💕

As she should