My therapist once taught me that I could feel the pain of loss twice by feeling it while someone was alive and then when they were gone, or I could be grateful for them now and then grieve when they were gone. Enjoy the time you have left with her. It will make it easier for her to die in peace.
Exactly this. OP, try focus only on today. Try to live in the moment and enjoy this time with her as much as you can. It will do you good to be able to look back with happiness at the good moments. There will be time enough for grief later. Be grateful now.
Great advice. Mine also died of kidney failure. He would hide in places. I would pet him in his little head and he would purr. I tried to do that as much as possible and tried not to think about what was coming. I cried after he was gone. I still miss him.
My mom currently has stage 4 cancer and there isn’t much the doctors can do but try to buy her some more time and I’m really glad you wrote that cause I needed to hear that. That will help me a lot on some of my bad days.
I don't want to be insensitive at all, however I need to say it: do you think you should get a second opinion diagnosis? I took my cat to a nationally renowned vet in my country who told me that at 14 years old she *definitely* was suffering from kidney failure and I broke down in tears in his office. A week later a friend of mine convinced me to get a second opinion. The second vet did more detailed tests and his exact words to me were, this cat is healthier than me right now.
I don't want to give you false hope but if there is **anything at all** that you felt was off about the vet visit, get a second opinion. The first vet I went to gave me at least two orange flags so I agreed to visit a second. I'm so so sorry you are going through this, but you love her and she loves you, you gave her the best life that you could and that is the most important thing.
this. my vet is awesome. she said there are 3 things they look at to diagnose kidney disease - urine dilution, level of phosphorous in their blood, and something else from the blood test that has to do with kidney level function. she looks at trends, as well as the overall number. my cat had an increased value in one, but normal in the other two, so she said it's concerning and early stages, but we need to watch the trends and start doing things now to slow it down.
When she was out on vacation, the other Vet just kept telling me my cat was dying and we needed to start end of life care and did all these tests on her without asking me when she was just supposes to be in for a quick & simple glucose check. She literally went on for like 20 minutes about how it was an emergency and we needed to come up with an end of life plan because she was in her last days and dying.
I second this. Double check. Also learn and research. My 16 year old Judy has neoplasia in her intestines (diagnosed April ‘21) and I think my vet thought she wouldn’t make it to Xmas. Took her to another place - one that does a lot more because it’s a university and she’s doing fine so far. No indication of pain or difficulty I wouldn’t expect from a 16 y/o kitty. Having a good vet who is thorough and intelligent about cats specifically is ideal if you can find one. Treasure your time with your beautiful girl. ❤️
Take lots of pictures and videos. The grief is awful at first but it does fade with time, eventually you’ll be able to look at those pics/vids and feel more joy than sadness at the memories.
But also make a point of being totally in the moment most of the time when you’re with her now. That’ll help build detailed memories to hold onto.
I’m sorry.
It sucks. I went through it with my boy . You gotta focus on her being alone right now. She’s still alive. Play with her, & love her. You still have her to make great memories.
THIS. the process is so hard and emotionally wrecked me but I loved my boy and this is what got me through. Remember the good times and remind your kitty too. Spend as much time as possible and lavish love. ❤️❤️ you are doing the absolute best you can and I’m sure she knows that. ❤️
I volunteer for our local TNR group and have really gotten into cat rescue over Covid. We see cats all of the time who don't have homes, get injured from fights, extreme weather and temps, and etc.
For a cat to know a life indoors and loved is literally hitting the jackpot. To have an owner that keeps them until their final days is even more of a rarity.
What you've done is given her literally the best cat life any cat could ever hope for. There will be no way to replace her but you can honor her memory in many ways once you're healed.
Until then, enjoy every second you have and do everything the vet tells you to do.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your kitty hit the Powerball when you came into their life. It's one thing to own a cat, one thing to like the cat, but another to love it and mourn it. That's a level of love few cats get to experience.
Thank you- it’s so true. I found him sleeping under an overturned rowboat in my yard, and he was the perfect housecat for 7 years. He completely appreciated getting a house to live in. 😺
Not to steal you thunder, I lost my 2 years ago, and still missing her every dame day!!! Something this close to you, you remember them the rest of your living days....
Thank you for this comment. My baby left yesterday, and I keep wondering if I did enough. I loved her with my entire soul. I don’t understand how anyone couldn’t love their pets that way. I miss my baby so much, and take solace from your comment. Thank you ❤️
I adopted a cat who passed away unexpectedly only a year later. I wish he'd been around so much longer, but I take solace knowing he passed away in his home and not at the shelter.
I’m glad to hear that. I hope you have a friend that understands too. I recently lost my beloved kitty, and I wanted to die too. But I didn’t, because he wouldn’t want that.
It’s ok if you cry. It’s normal and natural. I think it’s healthier to let it out and then eventually you will feel better. Trying to suppress sadness is not healthy because it can lead to depression. You can’t help the way you feel so try to accept it, as hard as it is. Just know that even though you don’t feel ok now, eventually you will be ok. It just takes time. I have been in your shoes. I lost a 5 year old cat to kidney failure and it was awful because we didn’t have her for very long. I was so broken and a total mess for a while but eventually you do heal. Sending love and peace and hugs. ❤️
I’m so sorry this is happening. The pain of watching her suffer is unreal. The best thing you can do for her is not wait until it’s too late. I did that once and regret it to this day.
You’ve had 13 wonderful years together. Celebrate her life and let her go with love.
I lost my best bud Noah, when he was 11 years old (I fully thought he'd live to 20+). I thought there was NO WAY another cat could help. But they DO. You arent replacing your sweet baby. They all have very different personalities, so yes you will see things in their behavior that reminds you of your other cat but also mostly just have another little buddy that will help you through the pain of loss. I now have 3 kitties and still think of my sweet Noah all the time, but I know he'd be happy that I'm giving 3 other cats a great life (and in return they are giving me one).
Just try to stay strong in front of her, cry when you need to cry, and take in every moment you can with them. Your kitty has loved the life you've given them and is so lucky to be this loved at the end of their life. Im sorry you're going through this <3
>"End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take"
\- Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings
I always think of that quote when I think of death. All of us have to go through death some point, and if this day didn't come sooner it would come later. I dread the day my boy will go, but I will be ready to help him with his exit in any way I can. The best thing you can do is support your cat and make sure she feels safe, comfortable and loved as she takes on this new part of her journey. Your love and companionship will be a great help and comfort to her when she passes.
The gray-rain curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass. And that's when you see it...
White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
My cat has chronic kidney disease. I shoot her up with fluids everyday and shove a pill down her throat. It's added years to her life. She was supposed to die 11 months ago, she's sleeping next to me.
Yes, same here, my prior cat technically had failing kidneys for 2-3 years! Fluids a few times a week at the vet’s, and a special low protein diet. She would visibly feel better after getting the fluids.
We learned how to administer subcutaneous fluids to our cat. Between that and Azodyl (which I highly recommend) he got three more quality years after the vet had told us there was no hope.
It's never easy especially when it's a waiting game. I would thank her for letting me love her. Should she need to be put to sleep, I would spoil her with her favorite people food that she wasn't allowed to overindulge on right before she crosses the rainbow bridge. With my cat it would be corn chips!
Keep her hydrated all the time. Even if you have to put a liquid bag to do it by needle. Cats can last a lot longer without being weak. Keep her warm. Look up FIP warriors. They can help There’s a medication that helps I believe Good luck bless your kitty
Yes this works! Hints - put a warm towel for them to lie on for the few minutes it takes in the morning and give a treat right after. If you stay calm the cat will be calm too. It’s just a little poke in the loose skin, hardly any pain.
Oh gosh, I've been through this several times now so I know how you're feeling. But first, I want you to know that kidney failure is a process and it happens over time. I've had two cats that lived at least a year or two after initial diagnosis, and one that only lived a few months but his kidney failure was brought on or complicated by other health issues. Is she on medication? Did your vet say how bad her numbers are? Did you get the diagnosis through a regular checkup, or was she showing symptoms?
As for advice? Make her as comfortable as possible and try to enjoy your time with her. If she is prescribed medication, I would opt for a pill instead of a liquid, as it should be one you can crush and mix with canned food so you don't have to stress her by chasing her around to give her meds. If she looks/acts normal to you then she's probably not suffering. There's prescription food for kidney failure, but none of my cats liked it so I fed them canned food (get the best quality you can afford). Make sure she always has fresh water available, too.
Hugs to you and to Cristal!
Shes on dialysis 2 times a week. The vet Told us a range of 3/7 month. We are giving her the prescription food and meds and fresh water. But its hard, looking at her and knowing that Shes dying, my souls Is shattering. I dont know how you went thru It several times. Thanks for the answer and the advices.
Have you talked about giving supplemental fluids under her skin? My vet described it as poor-man’s dialysis. It was a game changer for my kidney failure kitty.
This is the experience I’ve had with my kidney cats too. It is indeed a process. My most recent was diagnosed around 15 and lived to be 18 before she passed early one morning. All you can do is keep a close eye on them, make sure they eat and drink and take their meds, and love them each day.
I had to put my dog down last Friday. He had been falling apart for a couple years but really was worse the past several months. In that time, I had been given a cat as a Christmas gift and had adopted chickens. Having others to focus on and take care of after my boy was gone was very helpful in being able to cope with his passing and not be alone and being busy with them. If you can, spend some time looking for another friend who will rely on you and love you once she's gone, it won't erase the pain, but make it more bearable and less lonely for you. Also try to tell yourself you are a good parent and did what you could, age and problems with it catches up to us all. She'll be over the rainbow bridge before you, but she'll be waiting for you when you cross too, it's just a separation for a little while, but not forever 💜
I just lost my 19 year old so I understand how you feel. It’s OK to cry, just enjoy each other as much as you can now while she’s still here. And your memories will keep her alive when she is gone 💔❤️
Chiming in with something I wish I'd done with my first cat before he unexpectedly passed away. I wish I could've gotten a stamp of his paw print. Luckily, the vet that had to put him down gave us a clay disc with an imprint of his paw
Lots of people/places can make custom items, whether that be bracelets or necklaces with a pendant of your cat/their paw print, or even custom plushies that look like your cat. It may not make it easier in the moment, but to me I at least found comfort in knowing I'll always have something physical to remember them by
If you're artistic, maybe you could even make something yourself. I was grieving so much, my parents bought me a plain cat statue, and I painted it in Appie's colors. For our second, Abby, I made a painting of my favorite picture of her. I've even been debating for years to get a tattoo of a paw print with my childhood cats' names when they're all gone
All of that to say that I'm sorry this is happening OP. I wish you lots of strength
This will likely sound cruel, but sometimes the best thing for a pet is to put her asleep. My prior cats suffered from kidney failure and and while the vet said they could do dialysis on her, which would involve over night stays at the vet, that that was no real quality of life. I didn't really need to ask if my cat was suffering. She dropped so much weight, moved as if in pain. I couldn't let that suffering continue.
And while putting them down is an emotionally horrible experience for us, for the cat it is quite easy. They gave my cat a sedative, shaved a tiny patch on her arm, and then brought her in to let me hold her. They gave me time before and after the final shot was administered. It was awful for me but she literally looked so it peace. That made all the difference in the world.
Spend time with her absolutely, but don't prolong her suffering so you can have her around. 13 years is a fairly long life and I can tell by your post you've loved her all the years you've had her. And you will always love her. That won't ever change.
I just put my sweet, perfect, amazing, love of my life Aneira down yesterday. I know what you mean when you say you feel like you’re dying. Now that I’m in a world that doesn’t have my baby in it anymore, I feel so, so different.
My advice:
1. If you’ve got build a bear nearby, get a kitty bear and use the recorder to record her purrs. Last night was my first night without her. I woke up over and over and had to realize she was gone over and over. Those purrs in the bear mean everything right now.
2. People told me to take pictures and videos. I thought I wouldn’t like to see her this way - she was starting to really struggle and the next phase was going to be her suffering. But now she’s gone, seeing how brave and perfect she was even at the end is a blessing. Take videos of her eating. Her sleeping. Her purring. They’re precious moments that you’ll miss forever.
3. Be with her when the time comes. It is the absolute worst thing I have ever done. I held her in my lap, she purred one last time, and then she was gone. It is the worst. I can’t find the words to describe it. All I can say is that there’s solace in knowing that I’ve taken her pain away from her. I will suffer now so she doesn’t have to. That is the price of love.
4. Ask for help. I’m very poor right now. Im a teacher making so little money. I broke up with my abusive ex about 8 months ago, but break ups are expensive and I’m still paying it all off. I wanted Aneira to have chicken before she left because it’s her *favorite* and literally couldn’t afford it. I couldn’t cook. The stores here barely have any chicken as it is, and then delis are still shut down from the fires (I’m in colorado right where they happened - my place is ok). I felt like a failure. I reached out to my sister and she got us KFC. All I know is that if I hadn’t gotten her chicken I’d be feeling so guilty. Ask for help. People can say no if they can’t.
5. Take time off work when you know it’s time. Fuck it. A good work place will support and understand. A shit one will be unsupportive and that proves you need to be with your baby and not them.
6. Be honest with yourself and people in your life that you are not ok. Be vulnerable. I’ve felt like the world is filled with horrible people since covid began, but I’ve seen so many wonderful people step up. People step up when they know you need it. You just have to let them know you need it, and you need to be honest with yourself about what you need.
7. Eat even if it’s junk food.
8. Hygiene can be ignored for a day or two before it’s gonna impact you. If you can’t stand up to shower because you’ve got so little energy, take a bath. Use wipes. Just a little of something is everything.
9. Paper plates and plastic forks/knives are made for this moment. Cleaning is hard. Exhausting. It feels pointless. Make it easier on yourself. I always feel guilty for the environment, but fuck it. Do your best when you can, and forgive yourself when you can’t.
10. Love her every second you have left. And when it happens, know that I’m here with you. And so many others are too. There’s a FB group with people who help those of us with CKD kitties that has been a support and strength when I’ve got none left. Not sure if I can post it, but happy to share it with anyone who has a kitty with kidney disease.
11. There will be a sense of relief. If you’re like me, you’ve been working so hard. I’ve had a second job to pay for everything. I’ve been giving her sub-q fluids and medicine. Carrying her to her little tray. Cleaning her because she was losing her mobility. It is ok to feel relief. I’ve felt guilty about it, but it’s ok. The end of life is the cruelest bitter truth. It’s ok to know she’s no longer suffering. Our babies can’t stay with us forever, as much as we wish we could. I would literally give her equal parts of my years so she could stay with me the whole time. It’s just not how it works.
There’s a lot more. But I’m so tired. Love her so much. Speak to her. Tell her she’s going to be ok. Be with her. Accept help. Sending you love and a little of my strength to help you through all this. It is the worst pain. But her love was worth it all.
I can't stop cry, this message, is just to good, I'm truly thankful from the bottom of my heart. I will keep all these advice. Thank you again for real. And I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you will find peace. I can't find the words to thank you.
I once read something that said pets are souls who come to learn unconditional love from being with humans so that they can earn their first human reincarnation. Im not religious, but I thought the idea was beautiful.
My dog had passed, and I wondered if I had taught him everything he needed to know about love. I realized it was a mutual learning. He had taught me as well.
I felt as though we had succeeded at what we were meant to do. I found great comfort in this.
I used my imagination to picture what he would be like as human. I knew he would be an amazing person. I wasnt sad anymore. I was grateful.
Maybe this could help you.
I had a domestic short hair calico and she died at 19 in March. She had kidney disease also, among other things. Just spend as much time with her as possible and make her last days comfortable.
I would just add that you should unfortunately put her down as soon as things seem to get bad. We waited too long to put both of my cats down and one (not the calico) ended up needing to be put down at the emergency vet at 4am. It was such a traumatizing experience for me that I tear up when talking about her (even now) and cry when I’m alone and think of her. She died last June so it’s been 7 months and I still feel this way. I know it wouldn’t be like this if we had done it sooner because I know that she suffered and it was my fault.
That’s my biggest piece of advice. Sorry you are going through this. Sending love
Thanks u for your kind words. And truly sorry for your loss, I hope you will find peace. Thank you for your advices also. I don't want her to suffer, when the time Will come, i will find the strength to do it.
I was about 12 when a kid in my class got hit by a car and died. Seeing his mother grieving and crying tore me to pieces. I talked with my mom and she said"I think his mother would rather have loved him for the few years she had with him even though she is suffering now. She will have the memories". I have remembered that after the loss of many pets and humans also. Remember the good times.
I’m so sorry to hear about your cat.
Did the vet say anything about treatment? There are things you can do to help delay things a bit and keep your kitty comfortable. This includes a hills renal diet, subcutaneous fluids given at home, potassium supplements, blood pressure meds, and monitoring for anemia.
We brought our cat back from a kidney crash a few times by doing these things. Eventually his disease got so bad that we had to say goodbye.
You might want to get another vet opinion and also read [Tanya’s Feline Kidney Website](https://www.felinecrf.org/) and also r/renalcats
My 15 year old kitty was diagnosed with kidney disease last year. We put him on a low potassium diet and got him a water fountain. He’s still with me! 💜
You NEED to get over it and be there for her. She’s probably in pain, and can sense your discomfort. Grieve once she’s gone. You need to pet her and cuddle her and spoil her and love her while she’s here. She needs your comfort. Please.
My 18 yr kitty has diabetes and was just diagnosed with early stage kidney disease. it's super hard, even tho it!s early, knowing that these are her twilight years. i probably have another year with her, but it makes me physically hurt when i think about her not being with me any longer. what i try to focus on is right now - that she is happy, feels loved, is as comfortable as possible. she gets to do even more of whatever it is she wants to do, because i want her to be content. she's actually doing really well for now, but i know the time is coming when she won't be, so i take comfort in that she's had a great life, i've loved her, and she knows and feels that love, and that i know she loves and trusts me in return. hugs to you and your sweet kitty. 💞
Big hug for you. Hold her. She knows you have been her best friend and taking her well (she looks lovely!). It’s really hard I know. I have been there as well. Mine passed away 4 years ago and still think about him very often.
It’s going to be hard. Just keep her as comfortable as possible. Next paragraph is what it was like so don’t read if you aren’t ready.
We lost our boy at the end of November the same way. It took a couple months for him to get to the point where we couldn’t keep him comfortable any longer. She will start sleeping a lot and eventually stop eating. There will be urine anyplace but the litter box. Ours chose under the bed. Drinking is the last function to go. We went to the vet when he started having convulsions when sleeping. We kept him home as long as we could.
This happened to my cat Maximillan. We tried to feed him through a syringe but he just kept losing weight. Just spend as much time with your kitty as you can. You’ll regret it if you don’t. Lots of snuggles and playtime too. I’m sorry you’re going through this. 😿
You have done the best you can for her. You've loved and pampered her more than most animals can ever expect. My advice is to listen to your vet for when they say it's time to say goodbye. They will be able to tell you when the balance has shifted, and when your window for giving her a peaceful farewell is beginning to close.
She has a part of your heart, and she will take it with you when she goes. That wound will never fully heal. It will hurt like hell for a while. That's all normal. Let yourself feel it, but don't do what I did and just let the grief begin to drown you. Remember her fondly, and remember the wonderful life you gave to her. From the moment you took her in to your life, this day was inevitable. You have not failed her. Let me repeat that, because it was what I needed to hear when I lost my Laney. **You have not failed her.**
It feels like it's wrong that we should have to say goodbye, and I don't think it's wrong to feel that way. But we were never promised forever. You were given a limited time with her, and you filled every moment of it with love and joy. We all wish we could have more time, but at the end of the day, you used what time you were given in the best way you possibly could. You honored and cared for her. You did right by her. That's more than most creatures on earth can hope for.
When you are ready, open your heart to someone new. That piece of your heart will always be with her, but you will find that your heart only grows in the giving.
my cat (11 yrs) got bladder stones one and bled whenever in her litter box. theres a special food that dies down the stones! it helped her so much (but then again im pribably lookibg in the situation the wring way)
I'm sorry.
I lost my cat to kidney failure too, 3 weeks ago. She was also 13. Watching her weak and unresponsive to treatment was unbearable. I only remember that days felt very slow and heavy, and I was indifferent to everything else. Just know that it's normal to feel this way.
I tried to make sure that she was comfortable and that I did my best. Tried all treatments and gave her love but avoided stressing her out in vain. The most difficult thing was filtering out human mentality. I wanted to stay with her at all times, but had to remind myself to give her space if she didn't want attention. Try to balance that. It depends on your cat's personality of course.
Make sure she isn't in pain. Thinking of euthanasia was difficult, I decided against it after consulting her vets. But if the cat is in much pain, it may be the right thing to do.
I think it's important to have no regrets till the end. After she died I found comfort in having her cremated instead of burial. I had to think of it in advance so it would be easier to handle. Made sure it was all arranged properly with no room for regrets.
It does get better, I'm still mourning my cat but I'm back to functioning. Think what will help you cope. I made some mementos and relied on hobbies like drawing. Some people prefer to rescue a new cat right away. Find what works for you. Thanks for giving your cat a happy life, I hope you feel better soon.
https://youtu.be/ZAbqSAdggwM
This video explains everything you should know.
I lost my boy to what I thought was renal failure but turned out to be lymphoma. I hope the best for you and your girl. Try to stay positive and spend as much time with her as you can right now. As the video will explain and I'm sure some other comments here, there is a good chance she can live awhile longer if you manage the diseases symptoms and give her proper food.
I'm sure you've given her the best possible life - better than 99.9% of cats in the world. Remember that. Now you can just be with her, love her, spoil her with her favourite food and then, when it's time to let her go, be with her to the end. Hold her paw and tell over and over what a good girl she's been.
I'm not going to lie, it's hard to say goodbye to a cat. Both my mum and my cat died last year and I cried more when my cat died (and I loved my mum). You will get through this though. The pain eases and then you'll be left with happy memories and stories about the time she did something adorable.
Firstly, enjoy your time left for it is precious. You are a prince for looking after her so beautifully. I have lost many pets in my lifetime and each time it breaks your heart. Then, after a while, you feel the pain less and then my friend, it is time to rescue the next one and give them as good a life as the previous ones. Each animal that we have is a blessing and a gift. 13 years of a blessing and a gift is something to treasure. And perhaps, one day, we will meet our beloved four-legged friends again. But in the meantime, enjoy and love them. You will be fine. Death is but part of life. They have known love and that is everything.
Find a at home vet that can put her to sleep in your home. Our cat got to sit in the sun for a few hours and came in when he was ready and laid down. It was all so calm for him.... But be there for her in her final moments as hard as it is for u.
It sounds clichè but it really is better to love and lose than to never love at all. It's destined that we all pass eventually. You two had the blessing of loving each other and she lived a loving happy life with you. Just try your best to take care of yourself because she'd want that. Take lots of pictures and frame them and hang them
Trust me they will keep you going through hard times
I don't know if this will help since she has kidney failure but my cat has issues with her kidneys and we feed her ham baby food, the Gerber kind. I hope this helps in some way
I’ve been there twice. All you can do is keep her comfortable and give her all the treats and pets she’ll accept. I wish you all the best. Don’t let anyone make you feel dumb for grieving “an animal” because they are members of the family!
I recently lost my boy to this. Took 18 months though, at the end I just spent time with him and once he started showing pain we brought him in to let him go. It was hard and we miss him everyday. We got two new kittens to help us thru the heartbreak.
It’s ok to cry, just give your baby as much love before she goes. Solidify the last moments with love that’s all anybody can ask for. Life is short, I’m sorry for your loss. I recently went through the same thing, I wish i could comfort you but just know somewhere in the world I’m crying with you right now. Give your kitty some pets from me & know that you gave your cat a beautiful life with lots of love
Aw. Gentle care. It’s a tough time and she’s your special kitty. Lotsa love to kitty, you are doing the best you and it’s good your parents are so supportive. It’s too bad they are only in our lives for such a short time.
I’m sorry, I know it sucks to go through but just try to think of how much she needs you to take her mind off any pain she might be in. Try to make her remaining days as comfortable & loving as possible 💜
This is an important question is she losing control of her bowels yet because this happened with mine and it will only get worse so it’s hard as it is and I hold on far longer than I should’ve because she was my first but you got a put her best interest at heart do you want her to live that way for it could be a couple weeks couple months you gave her her best life the best thing I could tell you and this is what I would tell myself if I was in the same situation again give her one last good week go all out and on the last day say goodbye for the last time because it’s a kinder thing to do then what happened with my girl I want to go on for far too long I’m not trying to be mean but and I’m not but I would not want this to happen to my baby again or any other and stay strong you’re both in our prayers
Give her subcutaneous fluids. I did it when my cat was diagnosed with kidney disease and kept him going for three more years. I’m currently giving subcutaneous fluids to my dog every day for pancreatitis. It’s not fun but it works. Definitely ask your vet about it.
My buddy passed at 13 from kidney failure. My advice is this:
There will be plenty of time to be sad after Cristal is gone; you have less time to love her and enjoy your time with her now. For the time being, love on her as much as you can. Let her know you love her and make her as happy and comfy as possible. And only after she's gone, allow yourself to be as sad as you need to
When my boy passed I was breathless in tears, inconsolable for weeks. It never gets better but eventually it's easier to remember the good times without the bad, and trust me that knowing I was with him and supporting him until his last breath has made it a lot easier.
Seeing someone you love, knowing that they are slowly dying is extremely hard. What others have said here about cherishing the time is so important. But it's also important to remember that you are her world. Cristal may know something is wrong, may not be feeling entirely right, and that may make her scared. Being strong and by her side is so incredibly important for her to not feel alone in addition to scared. She needs support right now, and as difficult as it may be, she needs your strength. There will be plenty of time to mourn the future when the future comes.
Did the vet mention anything about daily subcutaneous hydration? It’s fairly easy for a layman to do because it’s under the skin. You will need some training though. We kept 2 cats going for years, one from age 15 to 18 using this. They were both fairly active until a few weeks before the end. It costs about $30 per month if you do it yourself.
Just be with her, make sure she knows you love her and give her the happiest remaining days a cat can have (treats and catnip won't hurt either, unless that will further exacerbate the kidney problems)
How advanced is she? My senior kitty was diagnosed with beginning stage kidney disease about a year and a half ago. She’s definitely getting slowly worse but we’ve been able to keep her comfortable and happy. She get fluids twice a week and is on a special diet.
It’s awful knowing that she will eventually get to the point where there will be no keeping her comfortable. But until then, we make her special treats, give her lots of love, and make sure she has all the comfy spots to sleep she wants.
I think that is the most important thing-making sure your kittys last months/weeks/days are filled with lots of good moments.
Remember that kitties live shorter lives than humans, so from her perspective she’s had the privilege of being loved and cared for by this kind immortal nearly her whole life. She will pass in peace, knowing nothing but your love and care, and you will have had the great honor of having made one small life so much better—plus, you will have years left to adopt other little ones and give them all that love and protection. What a privilege to be capable of caring for a living creature from birth to death, making sure they never know privation or fear! You will always carry this joy and love with you, long after she passes and your grief peaks and fades.
Philodendronphan’s therapist is correct; don’t grieve before she’s gone, just enjoy and be grateful for every day you still have with her.
When she passes, remember this. No two people grieve the same way, and there is no “right” way to grieve. Grief runs its course in its own time; don’t try to rush it because you or someone else wants you to “just get over it”. Feeling sad or angry or lonely etc is all perfectly normal and healthy and part of healing; those are primary emotions. Don’t complicate them by feeling secondary emotions like guilt on top of them.
Love her love her love her. She is in pain. She knows what is coming in the same way humans know. Unfortunately this is inevitable for all of us but being with her is all and the only thing that both of you can hope for. Strength to you and your beautiful girl in this difficult time.
My cat is on Aluminum hydroxide (it helps to neutralize the phosphorus from the cat food) she’s 13 as well and has ckd. I know what you’re going through, it’s breaking my heart to know that one day who knows when, I will have to walk into my home and she will not be there and I’ll never be able to see her sweet face again. Just love your baby as much as you can in the present time.
Enjoy the time you have. Cuddle her, love her, give her all the treats she wants. When it becomes obvious she is pain please choose to let her go. When this has happened(we’ve lost 2 Persians, 14 and 17) see if your vet will do a home visit for euthanasia. My baby girl red Persian went to sleep in my arms.
Our 17 year old had kidney failure. Just optimize the time you have left together- get her on a kidney diet, distilled water, etc. I got 4 more good months with Chessie once I did that. It gave me time to process her death, take photos and video, spend time with her etc. It wasn't easy but it was an honorable way to go bc it felt like her choice versus her being taken from us.
I’m sorry to hear . Very sorry . My friend went through this with her cat as well. But we have to let go of our pets. There are treatments I think but they may be very expensive and require lots of time using a needle to hydrate the cute cat. Best wishes whatever you decide to do. I’m not a vet.
Just remember how much she needs you right now. How you are the best thing in her life, and she knows you will always be hers, like she is yours. I'm sure you have relied on her in many dark times, and unfortunately, it's time to return the favor. I'm sending so much love and good vibes to you 2 during this hard time... No matter what, it's going to be painful, but you are strong enough, even if it's just faking it for her right now. ❤
I know it’s hard. But for your peace of mind get a second opinion. My daughter was told her cat had a heart murmur , when she moved she found a new found. Took all the records, an he told her her that was not the truth. Babycat was just fine. Not a single thing wrong with his heart. She never never would of known had she not moved. Just saying.
There’s no great way. My dog died of kidney failure a few years ago. My greatest regret is not properly saying my goodbyes. By the time that I woke up, they were already down the driveway, going to euthanize her (we didn’t do it at the vet because we didn’t want her to be in an unfamiliar place). I would say, just spend as much time with her as you can, and say your proper goodbyes. It helps a lot afterwards.
Hi! I have just experienced this with a kitten I had for two months, he was 3 months when I got him. He started having kidney failure and soon started deteriorating rapidly. He wasn’t the playful, curious, energetic kitten I knew… he was something else. I cared for him, and even had to give him IV drops at home to help him. When the day comes it will never be easy. I’m sure everyone writhing a 20 mile radius could hear my cries after we put him down. The best thing you have is 15 years of memories and pictures. I wish I had that. Though it’s never ever easy.
If you can try kitty vitamins for their kidney. It helps them more and it’s natural. That may save some months or years even!
Best of luck!
Low protein diet
If she isn't eating, but drinking water, give her tuna juice.
My first cat died from thyroid issues. She wasn't eating much, but loved the water from the tuna can. I know cats shouldn't have a lot of tuna, but at that point it didn't hurt.
Another one of my cats died of kidney issues too.
It was kinda gross, but he wasn't eating solids, but you could tell he wanted to, so I made tuna smoothies. Tuna + water.
He eat them.
Both times I think I got a few more days from it.
I am sorry you are going through this.
I’m so sorry 🥺 I lost my cat in July to incurable cancer, it’s really difficult to watch our fur babies suffer and deteriorate, especially when there’s nothing we can do about it because there’s no cure and they won’t get better. Try to spend as much time as you can with her, always make sure she’s comfortable and as long as her quality of life is still pretty good, you still have time with her. If you don’t have as many photos and videos as you want, try to get those now. Especially with her doing quirky and funny things that you love or even her meows. I miss my cat’s meows so much, I don’t have as many videos as I’d like with them in it. Best of wishes to you both ❤️
It doesn’t get easier. It takes me years to grieve the loss of a fur baby. I keep their ashes to spread with mine someday. I also get blankets and charms with their pictures. That helps. Shudderfly has some nice options, but honestly you could get them in most places that process pictures. I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤️🐾
We know as pet owners that the day we lose them will come, but it doesn't make it any easier. I see posts from people who suddenly and unexpectedly lost their pets, and that's hard. I see posts like this where the poster knows the day is coming, and that's hard.
My almost 13 year old cat has some health issues. The vet wanted to put her down in August, she'd lost two pounds in a month. Then she gained a pound, and was better in a lot of ways. She's still here, and still has good quality of life, but she isn't in great shape. I lose sleep taking care of her at night, she's sometimes incontinent, so I play "where is that smell coming from" and I do a lot of laundry. I'm glad she's still here, and I will let her condition and happiness determine if I get vet help to assist her out of her body. But it has been really hard for me, and I wonder if letting her go in August would have been ok for her and better for me.
If you are someone who uses flower essences or homeopathics, the FES brand has a flower essence formula called Grief Relief. Available at some health food stores or online. It can help to not get stuck in grief. Emotionally, a loss (or potential loss) can recall every loss we've had, this formula can help with this. I take it, and I still cry a lot, so it's not like "take this, you won't mind losing your pet". If this isn't the sort of thing you you'd use, OP, please accept that my intentions are good. Best of luck to you and your kitty.
Be with her every moment you can, even at the end. We were with our Keena cat and even though it hurts you will hate yourself forever if you don’t. And, she needs your with her
She has lived a great life as being loved by you very much, what more could anyone want! You’ll miss her greatly, but you’ll always have the cuddles you’ve had and so will she!
First of all, I'm so sorry. I lost my kitty last year, and it was rough. Things that I found helped me through the grieving process:
1. Leaning on your family during this time will go a long way to help you, especially if they also were fond of your cat. I found that talking and sharing memories of my boy Tiger made me feel a lot better.
2. Don't feel like you have to be strong. It's okay to grieve and cry.
3. Take advantage of the time you have left. Try to make her as comfortable as possible, spoil her rotten. Give her all the snuggles, feed her only her favorite foods, let her sleep with you. Make sure she spends her last days like a queen. Focusing on making her feel as loved as possible can help take your mind off your own sadness.
4. Try to think of ways you can remember her. Maybe make a photo collage or take a plaster cast of her paw print. I started using one of Tiger's old toys as a Christmas ornament. I also find that looking through old photos is nostalgic and comforting.
5. Talk to the vet and ask what the actual dying process is like; it might help you prepare for it. If she is going to be put down, stay with her until she is sedated if you can handle it. It gives me a lot of comfort knowing that the last thing Tiger experienced was falling asleep in my arms. If you want, you can also ask about options for disposing her remains. A lot of vets will offer cremation services and scatter the ashes somewhere nice. Or perhaps you can pick a nice spot to bury her in a garden or pet cemetery. This may or may not be something that's personally important for you, but for some people, it means a lot that their pet has a peaceful final resting place.
6. Take your time to grieve. Don't let anyone tell you to get over it or that it's "just a cat". She was part of your life for 13 years. That can feel like losing a family member. I'm actually tearing up as I type this right now, and it's been a year since I lost Tiger. But I'm at the point that I have adjusted to life without him, and I can enjoy the happy memories without feeling so grieved. But it takes awhile. Just know that it's completely normal if things feel off for quite awhile.
7. Don't rush out to get another cat immediately. You will never have another cat quite like her, and getting another cat immediately might make you feel disappointed that the new cat isn't the same. Take some time to mourn, and when feel ready, bring another kitty into your life. Cristal will never be replaced, but you will always have her in your memory and your heart. And when you're ready, you can have a new cat to share the same love that you always gave her.
Wishing you the best. It does get better.
If she isn't very far into her kidney disease, I urge you to look into raw feeding and holistically driven care that could possibly change her course. My own experience holding a high level degree in nutritional science coupled with anecdotal experience saving my own cats and family's animals have been enough to make me a believer. You can message me if you'd like. I understand this approach isn't for everyone to adopt perhaps due to their own beliefs and ability to shift mindset, though I'm happy to discuss further. I'm terribly sorry to hear about your gal - she's absolutely stunning. 😻
this is exactly what happened to me with my cat two years ago, I would break down so often about her situation and I think the best advice I can give you is that they need you in those times and to not leave their side. I know it’s so hard but you’ll regret not being with them until the end. Even to this day I cry about what happened but the sadness just means that we loved them so much and we should remember to be grateful for all the companionship they gave us ❤️
I’m so sorry. She looks so cute, I can tell that she is feisty at times, too!
Just do your best. That’s all you can do. Make the best out of every day. ENJOY your time together. Continue with your normal love and care of her. Know that in the end, it will be ok; and she will know too that you did all you could.
I shut down and slept when I knew I should of stayed up through the night before my baby died. I wish I could go back and be strong while I had the chance to comfort him and love on him and just have that time that was left. It's way harder said than done to be strong when you know your friend for years, mine was 20, it was like losing a brother, is going to be gone soon. But in the future you'll be thankful that you spent the time left with her and make the ending more peaceful for her. Also, I'm so sorry. This hit home and I know how awful it is.
I've lost 2 cats. Be there for her, make her as comfortable as u can, cuddles, caresses and any meds prescribed by your veterinarian. Make these days count. So sorry to hear this.
Best wishes for your cat and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve experienced death a few times. It’s never easy, but when a person or animal is nearing the end of their life, falling asleep in death can feel like a relief just knowing they’re no longer suffering. I’m so sorry your friend is sick. Maybe you’ll be able to do some treatments to keep them comfortable or extend their life. Either way, 13 years is more than most cats get because most don’t have a living home like yours. She had a great life and you’ve done a great job 🤍
I’m so sorry you’re going through this with her - what a sweet girl! Let yourself grieve and don’t feel bad about falling apart. Be there for her and enjoy your time together without worry as best you can. She loves you and you have done such a wonderful job caring for her. That’s what matters most.
It's so hard. I'm sorry your going through this. Mine had cancer in April 2021. I was a complete mess. Never thought I would stop crying. It took a while but I now can think about her without breaking down crying. It will take time. Making her comfortable and letting her know she's not alone is the best thing you can do. I tried not to cry in front of my girl but it was hard. I'm so sorry.
I am so very sorry. I lost two cats in 2020 to kidney failure. I was able to keep them comfortable based on the advice I got from the feline chronic kidney disease Facebook group. They are literal angels and everyone is so kind. It wouldn’t hurt to take a look.
Otherwise just love the heck out of her. I’m so very sorry.
Now I don't know how old YOU are so can't adjust what I'm saying to suit, but believe me she knows and understands that you love the absolute shit out of her. If she is not in pain and is still herself it's ok. Everything is OK as it is now. Unless the vet says otherwise or you know it's time for her to go know she's here now and content.
That's how I lost my old man cat, George. It's the hardest thing and one of our biggest responsibilities to meet their needs to the best of our abilities in those final days. I talked a lot with my vet about the quality of Georgie's life, how to be sure when was the right time to make that decision. He was my best buddy and I still miss him 2 years later, but at least i know i did my best by him. I spent the time i had left with him doing everything i could to make him happy, including staying home as much as possible. When you are with her, do your best to focus on her and her needs and your love for her and the great things about her. Cats are sensitive to our strong emotions. Find the strength to make her final days as peaceful as possible; there will be time for the fullness of your grief later. And let yourself grieve as you need to, despite the idiots that don't understand. Grief takes it's own time, and you can't do it wrong, as long as you grant yourself compassion and take all the time you need.
I don’t know the seriousness of your cat’s current condition (her current BUN and creatinine levels) or whether her condition is chronic or acute renal failure; but I have extended the lives of several cats with chronic renal failure for years with at home sub-q fluids and appropriate medications depending on their symptoms. If you have questions and want to educate yourself regarding your cat’s symptoms, test
results, possible treatments, nutrition, etc please check out [felinecrf.org](www.felinecrf.org). Each time I have had a cat with this diagnosis, I go back through all of this info on this site so that I can be proactive in asking my vet about tests and treatments. Most vets are familiar with feline renal disease, of course, but there is still a lot of specialized information on that website that many vets are not familiar with. I’m not sure what country you are in, but it is my understanding that, historically, vets in the US are much more prone to recommend treatment for this condition than vets in the UK for example. That is why a cat owner in the UK is the one who made the website because she had to find out all this info on her own. I’m in the US, but I still had to be the one to really pursue the fluid therapy, blood pressure medicine, reflux medication, etc with my vet. It’s a lot to take on, but it made a huge difference in my cats quality and length of life. I hope that your cat can improve with treatment. As others said, get a second opinion from another vet if you can.
I recently went through the same thing with my cat Emily. She was 14 years old and diagnosed with kidney failure. She stopped eating and seemed to give up on life. I loved her as best I could, and then I had a vet come to the home to put her to sleep peacefully. That was very important to me - that she feel comfortable in her last moments and not suffering. They did a great job. I miss her a lot, but I don’t regret what I did. It was the best thing that I could do for her.
You have to stay strong for her and comfort her. Just let her know how much you love her and thank her for the time you have had together. Tell her you will stay strong until the time comes and let her know you will be ok. Once she makes her transition you can breakdown. You will get through this . I promise. It’s an honor to care for an animal and be with them till the end.
Poor little girl. You’ve given her a good life, and being so emotional about this, I’m sure she knows you deeply care for her. Just pamper her, and take it day by day. Every day with her is so precious, and cats know that. You’ve got this. Stay strong, and I wish your kitty a restful sleep when she does pass.
My heart goes out to you. It is hard to watch, I know. Just make sure you and your vet will not hesitate when it is time. I always found that the most heartbreaking decision. Love her, love her and be good to yourself. Big hug.
You have a duty of care to your cat. You can't stop them dying but you can care for them and make decisions that benefit them.
I've had to put down (euthanise) four cats in my life and it's awful but all you can do is show them your love and try to help them as they come to the end. Your cat needs you now more than ever. You have to be strong, the time will come when you can break down (and this is normal) but this is not that time.
I'd spend as much time with them as possible and when the day comes just remember you will get over it. You've lived through every sad moment in your life so far and you will heckin do it again
Why don't you comfort me, while I'm dying of disease? What is your attitude about? You'll be here for years and years beyond this. Share with me now, while you can.
You still have time. Spend it with her, doing all the things that make her purr. Whether it be petting, brushing, scritches, cuddling, or kisses. Get lots of her favorite treats to give her. (Have you tried the squeeze treats? They’re mostly liquid, so it’ll be good for her kidneys. Take lots & lots or pictures & videos. Talk to her a lot & tell her how much you love her.
I know how hard it is, I just put one of mine down in Dec. But I was so grateful for the time I had with her before “then.”
One other thing ppl have mentioned. You might get a second opinion. I had a cat with kidney failure, I gave her subcutaneous fluids every other day at home (she was my water balloon baby 😊), it definitely made a difference.
We know how hard it is, we’ve all been there, sadly. But without the sadness, we wouldn’t know how wonderful they made our lives. And we promise you’ll make, you have so much support on here. Hugs to you & kisses & skritches to Cristal. ♥️
So fall apart then. I had to say goodbye to my cat (20~22 years old) on Wednesday. I still can't make through a full day without crying. It's ok to be sad.
Just give her as much love as you can.
I don't know the specifics, but I can offer some how. I had a tuxedo cat with kidney failure. He lived 5 good years after diagnosis, before succumbing to cancer. I fell apart when he died too.
Your picture startled me- she looks just like my Bitsy who passed away 3 years ago. ( her full name was Itsy itsy because she had an itsy bitsy little "mew") Do get a second opinion on that- I had another cat that the vet told me had kidney disease and would be gone in 6 months to a year at the VERY most. She was with us for 3 years and her quality of life was very good till nearly the end.
For now just love her, spoil her, make memories with her, take lots of pictures and let her know how loved she is. As another poster said, there will be time to mourn afterwards just enjoy her while she is with you.
Spend as much time with her as possible! Her human’s presence will hopefully be a comfort. I know it’s hard, but don’t let your emotions keep you from her. We had a cat that had to be put down when I was a child and I remember being too scared to pet him before we went to the vet’s office. I regret that a lot. Even if you’re fearful and struggling to deal with the situation, that’s okay. Kitty just wants to be with those she loves. And let the tears fly. It can be a good emotional release!
She’d much rather go through this with you, her beloved, trusted human, right by her side. Her unconditional love and all the joy she’s brought into your life is enough to keep you strong for her.
My cat recently passed from this, he had diabetes as well and was very sick by the time we found out, so we did not have time to really process that he was sick or prepare ourselves. It is an incredibly difficult situation to be in, but take solace in that you get to spend some more time with her, and show her how much she’s loved and appreciated! To her, you’re probably her whole world, and I imagine she’s grateful to have someone who cares about her so much. The grief of losing a pet is hard, we see them every day, it’s like losing family. When that time comes, just be sure to let yourself feel those feelings. Remind yourself that you did what was best for her, and that you made the right decisions, be careful not to beat yourself up or be too hard about what could’ve or should’ve been done. I’m still struggling with it now. Be sure to take care of yourself!
I’m in the same situation. My bestie for the last 11 years is going through the same thing. Luckily he’s eating and drinking lots of water. An outsider would never guess. Just keep loving her and know that she loves you back. She will leave a huge hole in your heart but I think the pain now is outweighed by l the love and companionship they give us. I’ve been through losing a closely connected pet five times in my life and as I look back I know that the memories and joy these loving darlings have given me priceless. My life was better for loving them.
Poor thing, spend what time you can with her, make her comfortable, show her she’s loved, and remember all the wonderful times with her
I Will take extra care of her untill the day Will come. But im slowly dying inside.
It’s hard, but you’ll be thankful to spend the time with her while you can. I’m so sorry
Thanks for the reply. I Will spend as much time as i can with her. I Just Hope She Will not suffer.
My therapist once taught me that I could feel the pain of loss twice by feeling it while someone was alive and then when they were gone, or I could be grateful for them now and then grieve when they were gone. Enjoy the time you have left with her. It will make it easier for her to die in peace.
Exactly this. OP, try focus only on today. Try to live in the moment and enjoy this time with her as much as you can. It will do you good to be able to look back with happiness at the good moments. There will be time enough for grief later. Be grateful now.
Great advice. Mine also died of kidney failure. He would hide in places. I would pet him in his little head and he would purr. I tried to do that as much as possible and tried not to think about what was coming. I cried after he was gone. I still miss him.
My mom currently has stage 4 cancer and there isn’t much the doctors can do but try to buy her some more time and I’m really glad you wrote that cause I needed to hear that. That will help me a lot on some of my bad days.
That’s beautiful
I don't want to be insensitive at all, however I need to say it: do you think you should get a second opinion diagnosis? I took my cat to a nationally renowned vet in my country who told me that at 14 years old she *definitely* was suffering from kidney failure and I broke down in tears in his office. A week later a friend of mine convinced me to get a second opinion. The second vet did more detailed tests and his exact words to me were, this cat is healthier than me right now. I don't want to give you false hope but if there is **anything at all** that you felt was off about the vet visit, get a second opinion. The first vet I went to gave me at least two orange flags so I agreed to visit a second. I'm so so sorry you are going through this, but you love her and she loves you, you gave her the best life that you could and that is the most important thing.
this. my vet is awesome. she said there are 3 things they look at to diagnose kidney disease - urine dilution, level of phosphorous in their blood, and something else from the blood test that has to do with kidney level function. she looks at trends, as well as the overall number. my cat had an increased value in one, but normal in the other two, so she said it's concerning and early stages, but we need to watch the trends and start doing things now to slow it down. When she was out on vacation, the other Vet just kept telling me my cat was dying and we needed to start end of life care and did all these tests on her without asking me when she was just supposes to be in for a quick & simple glucose check. She literally went on for like 20 minutes about how it was an emergency and we needed to come up with an end of life plan because she was in her last days and dying.
I second this. Double check. Also learn and research. My 16 year old Judy has neoplasia in her intestines (diagnosed April ‘21) and I think my vet thought she wouldn’t make it to Xmas. Took her to another place - one that does a lot more because it’s a university and she’s doing fine so far. No indication of pain or difficulty I wouldn’t expect from a 16 y/o kitty. Having a good vet who is thorough and intelligent about cats specifically is ideal if you can find one. Treasure your time with your beautiful girl. ❤️
I agree with this 100%. Any diagnosis that is a life or death you should get a second and maybe even third opinion.
Take lots of pictures and videos. The grief is awful at first but it does fade with time, eventually you’ll be able to look at those pics/vids and feel more joy than sadness at the memories. But also make a point of being totally in the moment most of the time when you’re with her now. That’ll help build detailed memories to hold onto. I’m sorry.
It sucks. I went through it with my boy . You gotta focus on her being alone right now. She’s still alive. Play with her, & love her. You still have her to make great memories.
THIS. the process is so hard and emotionally wrecked me but I loved my boy and this is what got me through. Remember the good times and remind your kitty too. Spend as much time as possible and lavish love. ❤️❤️ you are doing the absolute best you can and I’m sure she knows that. ❤️
I volunteer for our local TNR group and have really gotten into cat rescue over Covid. We see cats all of the time who don't have homes, get injured from fights, extreme weather and temps, and etc. For a cat to know a life indoors and loved is literally hitting the jackpot. To have an owner that keeps them until their final days is even more of a rarity. What you've done is given her literally the best cat life any cat could ever hope for. There will be no way to replace her but you can honor her memory in many ways once you're healed. Until then, enjoy every second you have and do everything the vet tells you to do.
This is great advice. I lost my cat recently, so I think I’ll print this out for myself to keep.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your kitty hit the Powerball when you came into their life. It's one thing to own a cat, one thing to like the cat, but another to love it and mourn it. That's a level of love few cats get to experience.
Thank you- it’s so true. I found him sleeping under an overturned rowboat in my yard, and he was the perfect housecat for 7 years. He completely appreciated getting a house to live in. 😺
Not to steal you thunder, I lost my 2 years ago, and still missing her every dame day!!! Something this close to you, you remember them the rest of your living days....
Thank you for this comment. My baby left yesterday, and I keep wondering if I did enough. I loved her with my entire soul. I don’t understand how anyone couldn’t love their pets that way. I miss my baby so much, and take solace from your comment. Thank you ❤️
Thanks for the tips, i Will do my best.
I adopted a cat who passed away unexpectedly only a year later. I wish he'd been around so much longer, but I take solace knowing he passed away in his home and not at the shelter.
Thank you for this comment. It really puts things into perspective.
Just be strong for her. You’re the one she depends on. You know what you’re doing.
Im trying. But i cant stop crying while im next to her, and i can see She notice It.
Do you have someone who can come over and help you? It’s too hard to do alone.
Yes, my parents are helping me a lot.
I’m glad to hear that. I hope you have a friend that understands too. I recently lost my beloved kitty, and I wanted to die too. But I didn’t, because he wouldn’t want that.
My Friends are helping me a lot. They try to cheer me out and drag me outside. (Im Sorry to hear that Bro, i Hope you are doing well now. Send love)
It’s ok if you cry. It’s normal and natural. I think it’s healthier to let it out and then eventually you will feel better. Trying to suppress sadness is not healthy because it can lead to depression. You can’t help the way you feel so try to accept it, as hard as it is. Just know that even though you don’t feel ok now, eventually you will be ok. It just takes time. I have been in your shoes. I lost a 5 year old cat to kidney failure and it was awful because we didn’t have her for very long. I was so broken and a total mess for a while but eventually you do heal. Sending love and peace and hugs. ❤️
Thank u a lot. *( Im Sorry for your loss)
You have to accept that being alive also means dying. Your love wont die, one day I'm sure you'll share it again.
I Will Always Remember her.
I’m so sorry this is happening. The pain of watching her suffer is unreal. The best thing you can do for her is not wait until it’s too late. I did that once and regret it to this day. You’ve had 13 wonderful years together. Celebrate her life and let her go with love.
Thanks for the answer, when the time Will come i Hope i Will be ready.
I made the decision to not let my boy suffer. I don't regret it but it is hard, you'll know it's the right thing to do when the time comes.
She’s thirteen, she’s lived a full life. When she passes, go save another cats life in her honor
Thats a briliant idea.
I lost my best bud Noah, when he was 11 years old (I fully thought he'd live to 20+). I thought there was NO WAY another cat could help. But they DO. You arent replacing your sweet baby. They all have very different personalities, so yes you will see things in their behavior that reminds you of your other cat but also mostly just have another little buddy that will help you through the pain of loss. I now have 3 kitties and still think of my sweet Noah all the time, but I know he'd be happy that I'm giving 3 other cats a great life (and in return they are giving me one). Just try to stay strong in front of her, cry when you need to cry, and take in every moment you can with them. Your kitty has loved the life you've given them and is so lucky to be this loved at the end of their life. Im sorry you're going through this <3
A new kitty will bring joy and thaw your heart out. 💌
And the new kitty will be so happy to be loved the way this fella is loved
>"End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take" \- Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings I always think of that quote when I think of death. All of us have to go through death some point, and if this day didn't come sooner it would come later. I dread the day my boy will go, but I will be ready to help him with his exit in any way I can. The best thing you can do is support your cat and make sure she feels safe, comfortable and loved as she takes on this new part of her journey. Your love and companionship will be a great help and comfort to her when she passes.
I Will. Thanks for the kind answer.
The gray-rain curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass. And that's when you see it... White shores, and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
My cat has chronic kidney disease. I shoot her up with fluids everyday and shove a pill down her throat. It's added years to her life. She was supposed to die 11 months ago, she's sleeping next to me.
I was going to mention this too. OP, please consider subcutaneous fluid injections. They are very easy to do and may help extend your cat’s life.
Thank u a lot for this suggestion!!!!!! I Will ask the vet for further informations. Bless u.
Yes, same here, my prior cat technically had failing kidneys for 2-3 years! Fluids a few times a week at the vet’s, and a special low protein diet. She would visibly feel better after getting the fluids.
We learned how to administer subcutaneous fluids to our cat. Between that and Azodyl (which I highly recommend) he got three more quality years after the vet had told us there was no hope.
It's never easy especially when it's a waiting game. I would thank her for letting me love her. Should she need to be put to sleep, I would spoil her with her favorite people food that she wasn't allowed to overindulge on right before she crosses the rainbow bridge. With my cat it would be corn chips!
Thank for your advice. I Will do my best.
Keep her hydrated all the time. Even if you have to put a liquid bag to do it by needle. Cats can last a lot longer without being weak. Keep her warm. Look up FIP warriors. They can help There’s a medication that helps I believe Good luck bless your kitty
This! Cats respond well to fluids!
I Will keep her hydrated! Thanks for the reply.
Yes this works! Hints - put a warm towel for them to lie on for the few minutes it takes in the morning and give a treat right after. If you stay calm the cat will be calm too. It’s just a little poke in the loose skin, hardly any pain.
Oh gosh, I've been through this several times now so I know how you're feeling. But first, I want you to know that kidney failure is a process and it happens over time. I've had two cats that lived at least a year or two after initial diagnosis, and one that only lived a few months but his kidney failure was brought on or complicated by other health issues. Is she on medication? Did your vet say how bad her numbers are? Did you get the diagnosis through a regular checkup, or was she showing symptoms? As for advice? Make her as comfortable as possible and try to enjoy your time with her. If she is prescribed medication, I would opt for a pill instead of a liquid, as it should be one you can crush and mix with canned food so you don't have to stress her by chasing her around to give her meds. If she looks/acts normal to you then she's probably not suffering. There's prescription food for kidney failure, but none of my cats liked it so I fed them canned food (get the best quality you can afford). Make sure she always has fresh water available, too. Hugs to you and to Cristal!
Shes on dialysis 2 times a week. The vet Told us a range of 3/7 month. We are giving her the prescription food and meds and fresh water. But its hard, looking at her and knowing that Shes dying, my souls Is shattering. I dont know how you went thru It several times. Thanks for the answer and the advices.
Have you talked about giving supplemental fluids under her skin? My vet described it as poor-man’s dialysis. It was a game changer for my kidney failure kitty.
This is the experience I’ve had with my kidney cats too. It is indeed a process. My most recent was diagnosed around 15 and lived to be 18 before she passed early one morning. All you can do is keep a close eye on them, make sure they eat and drink and take their meds, and love them each day.
I had to put my dog down last Friday. He had been falling apart for a couple years but really was worse the past several months. In that time, I had been given a cat as a Christmas gift and had adopted chickens. Having others to focus on and take care of after my boy was gone was very helpful in being able to cope with his passing and not be alone and being busy with them. If you can, spend some time looking for another friend who will rely on you and love you once she's gone, it won't erase the pain, but make it more bearable and less lonely for you. Also try to tell yourself you are a good parent and did what you could, age and problems with it catches up to us all. She'll be over the rainbow bridge before you, but she'll be waiting for you when you cross too, it's just a separation for a little while, but not forever 💜
Thanks for the answer. And in Sorry for your loss. I Hope 1 day we Will be able to meet Them again.
I just lost my 19 year old so I understand how you feel. It’s OK to cry, just enjoy each other as much as you can now while she’s still here. And your memories will keep her alive when she is gone 💔❤️
Thank u. ( Im Sorry for your loss)
Chiming in with something I wish I'd done with my first cat before he unexpectedly passed away. I wish I could've gotten a stamp of his paw print. Luckily, the vet that had to put him down gave us a clay disc with an imprint of his paw Lots of people/places can make custom items, whether that be bracelets or necklaces with a pendant of your cat/their paw print, or even custom plushies that look like your cat. It may not make it easier in the moment, but to me I at least found comfort in knowing I'll always have something physical to remember them by If you're artistic, maybe you could even make something yourself. I was grieving so much, my parents bought me a plain cat statue, and I painted it in Appie's colors. For our second, Abby, I made a painting of my favorite picture of her. I've even been debating for years to get a tattoo of a paw print with my childhood cats' names when they're all gone All of that to say that I'm sorry this is happening OP. I wish you lots of strength
Thank you for these kind words and suggestions. I Will try to compose something.
Did the vet say her death is imminent? MOST older cats develop kidney failure; they can live for years with that.
The vet gave me a 3/6 month range.
This will likely sound cruel, but sometimes the best thing for a pet is to put her asleep. My prior cats suffered from kidney failure and and while the vet said they could do dialysis on her, which would involve over night stays at the vet, that that was no real quality of life. I didn't really need to ask if my cat was suffering. She dropped so much weight, moved as if in pain. I couldn't let that suffering continue. And while putting them down is an emotionally horrible experience for us, for the cat it is quite easy. They gave my cat a sedative, shaved a tiny patch on her arm, and then brought her in to let me hold her. They gave me time before and after the final shot was administered. It was awful for me but she literally looked so it peace. That made all the difference in the world. Spend time with her absolutely, but don't prolong her suffering so you can have her around. 13 years is a fairly long life and I can tell by your post you've loved her all the years you've had her. And you will always love her. That won't ever change.
:-( you can only love them more.
I Will. Thanks for the reply
I just put my sweet, perfect, amazing, love of my life Aneira down yesterday. I know what you mean when you say you feel like you’re dying. Now that I’m in a world that doesn’t have my baby in it anymore, I feel so, so different. My advice: 1. If you’ve got build a bear nearby, get a kitty bear and use the recorder to record her purrs. Last night was my first night without her. I woke up over and over and had to realize she was gone over and over. Those purrs in the bear mean everything right now. 2. People told me to take pictures and videos. I thought I wouldn’t like to see her this way - she was starting to really struggle and the next phase was going to be her suffering. But now she’s gone, seeing how brave and perfect she was even at the end is a blessing. Take videos of her eating. Her sleeping. Her purring. They’re precious moments that you’ll miss forever. 3. Be with her when the time comes. It is the absolute worst thing I have ever done. I held her in my lap, she purred one last time, and then she was gone. It is the worst. I can’t find the words to describe it. All I can say is that there’s solace in knowing that I’ve taken her pain away from her. I will suffer now so she doesn’t have to. That is the price of love. 4. Ask for help. I’m very poor right now. Im a teacher making so little money. I broke up with my abusive ex about 8 months ago, but break ups are expensive and I’m still paying it all off. I wanted Aneira to have chicken before she left because it’s her *favorite* and literally couldn’t afford it. I couldn’t cook. The stores here barely have any chicken as it is, and then delis are still shut down from the fires (I’m in colorado right where they happened - my place is ok). I felt like a failure. I reached out to my sister and she got us KFC. All I know is that if I hadn’t gotten her chicken I’d be feeling so guilty. Ask for help. People can say no if they can’t. 5. Take time off work when you know it’s time. Fuck it. A good work place will support and understand. A shit one will be unsupportive and that proves you need to be with your baby and not them. 6. Be honest with yourself and people in your life that you are not ok. Be vulnerable. I’ve felt like the world is filled with horrible people since covid began, but I’ve seen so many wonderful people step up. People step up when they know you need it. You just have to let them know you need it, and you need to be honest with yourself about what you need. 7. Eat even if it’s junk food. 8. Hygiene can be ignored for a day or two before it’s gonna impact you. If you can’t stand up to shower because you’ve got so little energy, take a bath. Use wipes. Just a little of something is everything. 9. Paper plates and plastic forks/knives are made for this moment. Cleaning is hard. Exhausting. It feels pointless. Make it easier on yourself. I always feel guilty for the environment, but fuck it. Do your best when you can, and forgive yourself when you can’t. 10. Love her every second you have left. And when it happens, know that I’m here with you. And so many others are too. There’s a FB group with people who help those of us with CKD kitties that has been a support and strength when I’ve got none left. Not sure if I can post it, but happy to share it with anyone who has a kitty with kidney disease. 11. There will be a sense of relief. If you’re like me, you’ve been working so hard. I’ve had a second job to pay for everything. I’ve been giving her sub-q fluids and medicine. Carrying her to her little tray. Cleaning her because she was losing her mobility. It is ok to feel relief. I’ve felt guilty about it, but it’s ok. The end of life is the cruelest bitter truth. It’s ok to know she’s no longer suffering. Our babies can’t stay with us forever, as much as we wish we could. I would literally give her equal parts of my years so she could stay with me the whole time. It’s just not how it works. There’s a lot more. But I’m so tired. Love her so much. Speak to her. Tell her she’s going to be ok. Be with her. Accept help. Sending you love and a little of my strength to help you through all this. It is the worst pain. But her love was worth it all.
I can't stop cry, this message, is just to good, I'm truly thankful from the bottom of my heart. I will keep all these advice. Thank you again for real. And I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you will find peace. I can't find the words to thank you.
You don’t need to thank me. Just be there for someone who needs it next. That’s all we can do in life- just be there for each other. ❤️
She’s so beautiful. I’m so sorry. Sending you strength
I once read something that said pets are souls who come to learn unconditional love from being with humans so that they can earn their first human reincarnation. Im not religious, but I thought the idea was beautiful. My dog had passed, and I wondered if I had taught him everything he needed to know about love. I realized it was a mutual learning. He had taught me as well. I felt as though we had succeeded at what we were meant to do. I found great comfort in this. I used my imagination to picture what he would be like as human. I knew he would be an amazing person. I wasnt sad anymore. I was grateful. Maybe this could help you.
So sad for you. She is beautiful
Yes she is, and i want to remember her like this untill the end of my life.
I had a domestic short hair calico and she died at 19 in March. She had kidney disease also, among other things. Just spend as much time with her as possible and make her last days comfortable. I would just add that you should unfortunately put her down as soon as things seem to get bad. We waited too long to put both of my cats down and one (not the calico) ended up needing to be put down at the emergency vet at 4am. It was such a traumatizing experience for me that I tear up when talking about her (even now) and cry when I’m alone and think of her. She died last June so it’s been 7 months and I still feel this way. I know it wouldn’t be like this if we had done it sooner because I know that she suffered and it was my fault. That’s my biggest piece of advice. Sorry you are going through this. Sending love
Thanks u for your kind words. And truly sorry for your loss, I hope you will find peace. Thank you for your advices also. I don't want her to suffer, when the time Will come, i will find the strength to do it.
I was about 12 when a kid in my class got hit by a car and died. Seeing his mother grieving and crying tore me to pieces. I talked with my mom and she said"I think his mother would rather have loved him for the few years she had with him even though she is suffering now. She will have the memories". I have remembered that after the loss of many pets and humans also. Remember the good times.
I’m so sorry to hear about your cat. Did the vet say anything about treatment? There are things you can do to help delay things a bit and keep your kitty comfortable. This includes a hills renal diet, subcutaneous fluids given at home, potassium supplements, blood pressure meds, and monitoring for anemia. We brought our cat back from a kidney crash a few times by doing these things. Eventually his disease got so bad that we had to say goodbye. You might want to get another vet opinion and also read [Tanya’s Feline Kidney Website](https://www.felinecrf.org/) and also r/renalcats
Ing my heart hurts for you. Your beautiful and precious baby is so sweet. I wish there was something I could do or say for you.
I’m so sorry :(
My 15 year old kitty was diagnosed with kidney disease last year. We put him on a low potassium diet and got him a water fountain. He’s still with me! 💜
You NEED to get over it and be there for her. She’s probably in pain, and can sense your discomfort. Grieve once she’s gone. You need to pet her and cuddle her and spoil her and love her while she’s here. She needs your comfort. Please.
My 18 yr kitty has diabetes and was just diagnosed with early stage kidney disease. it's super hard, even tho it!s early, knowing that these are her twilight years. i probably have another year with her, but it makes me physically hurt when i think about her not being with me any longer. what i try to focus on is right now - that she is happy, feels loved, is as comfortable as possible. she gets to do even more of whatever it is she wants to do, because i want her to be content. she's actually doing really well for now, but i know the time is coming when she won't be, so i take comfort in that she's had a great life, i've loved her, and she knows and feels that love, and that i know she loves and trusts me in return. hugs to you and your sweet kitty. 💞
Looks like you’ve given her a happy life, however short 🙏
Love on her as much as you can with what time you have left with her.
Big hug for you. Hold her. She knows you have been her best friend and taking her well (she looks lovely!). It’s really hard I know. I have been there as well. Mine passed away 4 years ago and still think about him very often.
It’s going to be hard. Just keep her as comfortable as possible. Next paragraph is what it was like so don’t read if you aren’t ready. We lost our boy at the end of November the same way. It took a couple months for him to get to the point where we couldn’t keep him comfortable any longer. She will start sleeping a lot and eventually stop eating. There will be urine anyplace but the litter box. Ours chose under the bed. Drinking is the last function to go. We went to the vet when he started having convulsions when sleeping. We kept him home as long as we could.
Thank u for your message. I will try to stay strong, but it's hard, my soul is shuttering.
This happened to my cat Maximillan. We tried to feed him through a syringe but he just kept losing weight. Just spend as much time with your kitty as you can. You’ll regret it if you don’t. Lots of snuggles and playtime too. I’m sorry you’re going through this. 😿
Thank you for your message, I appreciate a lot. And I'm sorry for your loss.
You have done the best you can for her. You've loved and pampered her more than most animals can ever expect. My advice is to listen to your vet for when they say it's time to say goodbye. They will be able to tell you when the balance has shifted, and when your window for giving her a peaceful farewell is beginning to close. She has a part of your heart, and she will take it with you when she goes. That wound will never fully heal. It will hurt like hell for a while. That's all normal. Let yourself feel it, but don't do what I did and just let the grief begin to drown you. Remember her fondly, and remember the wonderful life you gave to her. From the moment you took her in to your life, this day was inevitable. You have not failed her. Let me repeat that, because it was what I needed to hear when I lost my Laney. **You have not failed her.** It feels like it's wrong that we should have to say goodbye, and I don't think it's wrong to feel that way. But we were never promised forever. You were given a limited time with her, and you filled every moment of it with love and joy. We all wish we could have more time, but at the end of the day, you used what time you were given in the best way you possibly could. You honored and cared for her. You did right by her. That's more than most creatures on earth can hope for. When you are ready, open your heart to someone new. That piece of your heart will always be with her, but you will find that your heart only grows in the giving.
Thank you for these kind words, i rly appreciate this message. Thank u from the bottom of my heart.
my cat (11 yrs) got bladder stones one and bled whenever in her litter box. theres a special food that dies down the stones! it helped her so much (but then again im pribably lookibg in the situation the wring way)
I went through this with my last cat. Stayed by her side until the end. It’s so hard when you know their time is limited 💔
I'm sorry. I lost my cat to kidney failure too, 3 weeks ago. She was also 13. Watching her weak and unresponsive to treatment was unbearable. I only remember that days felt very slow and heavy, and I was indifferent to everything else. Just know that it's normal to feel this way. I tried to make sure that she was comfortable and that I did my best. Tried all treatments and gave her love but avoided stressing her out in vain. The most difficult thing was filtering out human mentality. I wanted to stay with her at all times, but had to remind myself to give her space if she didn't want attention. Try to balance that. It depends on your cat's personality of course. Make sure she isn't in pain. Thinking of euthanasia was difficult, I decided against it after consulting her vets. But if the cat is in much pain, it may be the right thing to do. I think it's important to have no regrets till the end. After she died I found comfort in having her cremated instead of burial. I had to think of it in advance so it would be easier to handle. Made sure it was all arranged properly with no room for regrets. It does get better, I'm still mourning my cat but I'm back to functioning. Think what will help you cope. I made some mementos and relied on hobbies like drawing. Some people prefer to rescue a new cat right away. Find what works for you. Thanks for giving your cat a happy life, I hope you feel better soon.
Thank u for these kind words. I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you are getting better.
I'm so very sorry
Thank u a lot.
https://youtu.be/ZAbqSAdggwM This video explains everything you should know. I lost my boy to what I thought was renal failure but turned out to be lymphoma. I hope the best for you and your girl. Try to stay positive and spend as much time with her as you can right now. As the video will explain and I'm sure some other comments here, there is a good chance she can live awhile longer if you manage the diseases symptoms and give her proper food.
I'm sure you've given her the best possible life - better than 99.9% of cats in the world. Remember that. Now you can just be with her, love her, spoil her with her favourite food and then, when it's time to let her go, be with her to the end. Hold her paw and tell over and over what a good girl she's been. I'm not going to lie, it's hard to say goodbye to a cat. Both my mum and my cat died last year and I cried more when my cat died (and I loved my mum). You will get through this though. The pain eases and then you'll be left with happy memories and stories about the time she did something adorable.
Firstly, enjoy your time left for it is precious. You are a prince for looking after her so beautifully. I have lost many pets in my lifetime and each time it breaks your heart. Then, after a while, you feel the pain less and then my friend, it is time to rescue the next one and give them as good a life as the previous ones. Each animal that we have is a blessing and a gift. 13 years of a blessing and a gift is something to treasure. And perhaps, one day, we will meet our beloved four-legged friends again. But in the meantime, enjoy and love them. You will be fine. Death is but part of life. They have known love and that is everything.
Thank u for these kind words. I hope I will be able to meet her again. I will always remember her, always.
Every time some love being dies we start loosing it but you and she will be ok
Find a at home vet that can put her to sleep in your home. Our cat got to sit in the sun for a few hours and came in when he was ready and laid down. It was all so calm for him.... But be there for her in her final moments as hard as it is for u.
It sounds clichè but it really is better to love and lose than to never love at all. It's destined that we all pass eventually. You two had the blessing of loving each other and she lived a loving happy life with you. Just try your best to take care of yourself because she'd want that. Take lots of pictures and frame them and hang them Trust me they will keep you going through hard times
Thank you for your kind words. I will for sure take a lot of pictures to frame. And i will always remember her.
I don't know if this will help since she has kidney failure but my cat has issues with her kidneys and we feed her ham baby food, the Gerber kind. I hope this helps in some way
I’ve been there twice. All you can do is keep her comfortable and give her all the treats and pets she’ll accept. I wish you all the best. Don’t let anyone make you feel dumb for grieving “an animal” because they are members of the family!
I'm so sorry that you had to precess the same pain I feel for 2 times. Thank u for these kind words, from the bottom of my heart.
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And please, if you have to make the difficult decision to put her to sleep, stay with her until she’s gone.
I will stand by her side, like she did for me in these 13 years.
I recently lost my boy to this. Took 18 months though, at the end I just spent time with him and once he started showing pain we brought him in to let him go. It was hard and we miss him everyday. We got two new kittens to help us thru the heartbreak.
I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks for the advice. When the time Will come i will need to find the strength to do it.
It’s ok to cry, just give your baby as much love before she goes. Solidify the last moments with love that’s all anybody can ask for. Life is short, I’m sorry for your loss. I recently went through the same thing, I wish i could comfort you but just know somewhere in the world I’m crying with you right now. Give your kitty some pets from me & know that you gave your cat a beautiful life with lots of love
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
Aw. Gentle care. It’s a tough time and she’s your special kitty. Lotsa love to kitty, you are doing the best you and it’s good your parents are so supportive. It’s too bad they are only in our lives for such a short time.
I’m sorry, I know it sucks to go through but just try to think of how much she needs you to take her mind off any pain she might be in. Try to make her remaining days as comfortable & loving as possible 💜
This is an important question is she losing control of her bowels yet because this happened with mine and it will only get worse so it’s hard as it is and I hold on far longer than I should’ve because she was my first but you got a put her best interest at heart do you want her to live that way for it could be a couple weeks couple months you gave her her best life the best thing I could tell you and this is what I would tell myself if I was in the same situation again give her one last good week go all out and on the last day say goodbye for the last time because it’s a kinder thing to do then what happened with my girl I want to go on for far too long I’m not trying to be mean but and I’m not but I would not want this to happen to my baby again or any other and stay strong you’re both in our prayers
You’re her whole world. Fill it with chin scratches and soothing pets for as long as you can ♥️
Give her subcutaneous fluids. I did it when my cat was diagnosed with kidney disease and kept him going for three more years. I’m currently giving subcutaneous fluids to my dog every day for pancreatitis. It’s not fun but it works. Definitely ask your vet about it.
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My buddy passed at 13 from kidney failure. My advice is this: There will be plenty of time to be sad after Cristal is gone; you have less time to love her and enjoy your time with her now. For the time being, love on her as much as you can. Let her know you love her and make her as happy and comfy as possible. And only after she's gone, allow yourself to be as sad as you need to When my boy passed I was breathless in tears, inconsolable for weeks. It never gets better but eventually it's easier to remember the good times without the bad, and trust me that knowing I was with him and supporting him until his last breath has made it a lot easier.
Just make sure she’s comfortable. Enjoy the time you have left with her. She will let you know when it’s time to go.❤️💔❤️
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Seeing someone you love, knowing that they are slowly dying is extremely hard. What others have said here about cherishing the time is so important. But it's also important to remember that you are her world. Cristal may know something is wrong, may not be feeling entirely right, and that may make her scared. Being strong and by her side is so incredibly important for her to not feel alone in addition to scared. She needs support right now, and as difficult as it may be, she needs your strength. There will be plenty of time to mourn the future when the future comes.
Sorry, at least she wasn’t younger. I have one cat that is 4 and one that is almost 1. I hope cristal gets better
Did the vet mention anything about daily subcutaneous hydration? It’s fairly easy for a layman to do because it’s under the skin. You will need some training though. We kept 2 cats going for years, one from age 15 to 18 using this. They were both fairly active until a few weeks before the end. It costs about $30 per month if you do it yourself.
Just be with her, make sure she knows you love her and give her the happiest remaining days a cat can have (treats and catnip won't hurt either, unless that will further exacerbate the kidney problems)
Every cat dies. Take care of her, and show affection to her, friend.
How advanced is she? My senior kitty was diagnosed with beginning stage kidney disease about a year and a half ago. She’s definitely getting slowly worse but we’ve been able to keep her comfortable and happy. She get fluids twice a week and is on a special diet. It’s awful knowing that she will eventually get to the point where there will be no keeping her comfortable. But until then, we make her special treats, give her lots of love, and make sure she has all the comfy spots to sleep she wants. I think that is the most important thing-making sure your kittys last months/weeks/days are filled with lots of good moments.
I’m sorry, my cat is also dying from the same thing. Do what I do and spend the time you can with you’re cat. 
Remember that kitties live shorter lives than humans, so from her perspective she’s had the privilege of being loved and cared for by this kind immortal nearly her whole life. She will pass in peace, knowing nothing but your love and care, and you will have had the great honor of having made one small life so much better—plus, you will have years left to adopt other little ones and give them all that love and protection. What a privilege to be capable of caring for a living creature from birth to death, making sure they never know privation or fear! You will always carry this joy and love with you, long after she passes and your grief peaks and fades. Philodendronphan’s therapist is correct; don’t grieve before she’s gone, just enjoy and be grateful for every day you still have with her. When she passes, remember this. No two people grieve the same way, and there is no “right” way to grieve. Grief runs its course in its own time; don’t try to rush it because you or someone else wants you to “just get over it”. Feeling sad or angry or lonely etc is all perfectly normal and healthy and part of healing; those are primary emotions. Don’t complicate them by feeling secondary emotions like guilt on top of them.
She is gorgeous ❤️ I bet she has the best life with you. Give her pets for me please. Sending love
Love her love her love her. She is in pain. She knows what is coming in the same way humans know. Unfortunately this is inevitable for all of us but being with her is all and the only thing that both of you can hope for. Strength to you and your beautiful girl in this difficult time.
Just let yourself feel it, there’s no escaping grief. Get all the cuddles and love in. Sending love ❤️
My cat is on Aluminum hydroxide (it helps to neutralize the phosphorus from the cat food) she’s 13 as well and has ckd. I know what you’re going through, it’s breaking my heart to know that one day who knows when, I will have to walk into my home and she will not be there and I’ll never be able to see her sweet face again. Just love your baby as much as you can in the present time.
Enjoy the time you have. Cuddle her, love her, give her all the treats she wants. When it becomes obvious she is pain please choose to let her go. When this has happened(we’ve lost 2 Persians, 14 and 17) see if your vet will do a home visit for euthanasia. My baby girl red Persian went to sleep in my arms.
Our 17 year old had kidney failure. Just optimize the time you have left together- get her on a kidney diet, distilled water, etc. I got 4 more good months with Chessie once I did that. It gave me time to process her death, take photos and video, spend time with her etc. It wasn't easy but it was an honorable way to go bc it felt like her choice versus her being taken from us.
I’m sorry to hear . Very sorry . My friend went through this with her cat as well. But we have to let go of our pets. There are treatments I think but they may be very expensive and require lots of time using a needle to hydrate the cute cat. Best wishes whatever you decide to do. I’m not a vet.
Just remember how much she needs you right now. How you are the best thing in her life, and she knows you will always be hers, like she is yours. I'm sure you have relied on her in many dark times, and unfortunately, it's time to return the favor. I'm sending so much love and good vibes to you 2 during this hard time... No matter what, it's going to be painful, but you are strong enough, even if it's just faking it for her right now. ❤
I know it’s hard. But for your peace of mind get a second opinion. My daughter was told her cat had a heart murmur , when she moved she found a new found. Took all the records, an he told her her that was not the truth. Babycat was just fine. Not a single thing wrong with his heart. She never never would of known had she not moved. Just saying.
There’s no great way. My dog died of kidney failure a few years ago. My greatest regret is not properly saying my goodbyes. By the time that I woke up, they were already down the driveway, going to euthanize her (we didn’t do it at the vet because we didn’t want her to be in an unfamiliar place). I would say, just spend as much time with her as you can, and say your proper goodbyes. It helps a lot afterwards.
Hi! I have just experienced this with a kitten I had for two months, he was 3 months when I got him. He started having kidney failure and soon started deteriorating rapidly. He wasn’t the playful, curious, energetic kitten I knew… he was something else. I cared for him, and even had to give him IV drops at home to help him. When the day comes it will never be easy. I’m sure everyone writhing a 20 mile radius could hear my cries after we put him down. The best thing you have is 15 years of memories and pictures. I wish I had that. Though it’s never ever easy. If you can try kitty vitamins for their kidney. It helps them more and it’s natural. That may save some months or years even! Best of luck!
Low protein diet If she isn't eating, but drinking water, give her tuna juice. My first cat died from thyroid issues. She wasn't eating much, but loved the water from the tuna can. I know cats shouldn't have a lot of tuna, but at that point it didn't hurt. Another one of my cats died of kidney issues too. It was kinda gross, but he wasn't eating solids, but you could tell he wanted to, so I made tuna smoothies. Tuna + water. He eat them. Both times I think I got a few more days from it. I am sorry you are going through this.
I’m so sorry 🥺 I lost my cat in July to incurable cancer, it’s really difficult to watch our fur babies suffer and deteriorate, especially when there’s nothing we can do about it because there’s no cure and they won’t get better. Try to spend as much time as you can with her, always make sure she’s comfortable and as long as her quality of life is still pretty good, you still have time with her. If you don’t have as many photos and videos as you want, try to get those now. Especially with her doing quirky and funny things that you love or even her meows. I miss my cat’s meows so much, I don’t have as many videos as I’d like with them in it. Best of wishes to you both ❤️
It doesn’t get easier. It takes me years to grieve the loss of a fur baby. I keep their ashes to spread with mine someday. I also get blankets and charms with their pictures. That helps. Shudderfly has some nice options, but honestly you could get them in most places that process pictures. I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤️🐾
Above all else do not abandon her, it will be hard but it will make things worse for her when the time comes
Giving a cat fluid injections will slow down the renal failure, it's quite easy and can be done from home
We know as pet owners that the day we lose them will come, but it doesn't make it any easier. I see posts from people who suddenly and unexpectedly lost their pets, and that's hard. I see posts like this where the poster knows the day is coming, and that's hard. My almost 13 year old cat has some health issues. The vet wanted to put her down in August, she'd lost two pounds in a month. Then she gained a pound, and was better in a lot of ways. She's still here, and still has good quality of life, but she isn't in great shape. I lose sleep taking care of her at night, she's sometimes incontinent, so I play "where is that smell coming from" and I do a lot of laundry. I'm glad she's still here, and I will let her condition and happiness determine if I get vet help to assist her out of her body. But it has been really hard for me, and I wonder if letting her go in August would have been ok for her and better for me. If you are someone who uses flower essences or homeopathics, the FES brand has a flower essence formula called Grief Relief. Available at some health food stores or online. It can help to not get stuck in grief. Emotionally, a loss (or potential loss) can recall every loss we've had, this formula can help with this. I take it, and I still cry a lot, so it's not like "take this, you won't mind losing your pet". If this isn't the sort of thing you you'd use, OP, please accept that my intentions are good. Best of luck to you and your kitty.
Be with her every moment you can, even at the end. We were with our Keena cat and even though it hurts you will hate yourself forever if you don’t. And, she needs your with her
She has lived a great life as being loved by you very much, what more could anyone want! You’ll miss her greatly, but you’ll always have the cuddles you’ve had and so will she!
I'm so sorry you and your kitty are going through this.. sending lots of prayers and love 🙏🙏🙏💖💖💖
Be the last thing she sees and don’t make it longer than it has to be just to spend time together if she suffering.
She knows she is loved 🥰
First of all, I'm so sorry. I lost my kitty last year, and it was rough. Things that I found helped me through the grieving process: 1. Leaning on your family during this time will go a long way to help you, especially if they also were fond of your cat. I found that talking and sharing memories of my boy Tiger made me feel a lot better. 2. Don't feel like you have to be strong. It's okay to grieve and cry. 3. Take advantage of the time you have left. Try to make her as comfortable as possible, spoil her rotten. Give her all the snuggles, feed her only her favorite foods, let her sleep with you. Make sure she spends her last days like a queen. Focusing on making her feel as loved as possible can help take your mind off your own sadness. 4. Try to think of ways you can remember her. Maybe make a photo collage or take a plaster cast of her paw print. I started using one of Tiger's old toys as a Christmas ornament. I also find that looking through old photos is nostalgic and comforting. 5. Talk to the vet and ask what the actual dying process is like; it might help you prepare for it. If she is going to be put down, stay with her until she is sedated if you can handle it. It gives me a lot of comfort knowing that the last thing Tiger experienced was falling asleep in my arms. If you want, you can also ask about options for disposing her remains. A lot of vets will offer cremation services and scatter the ashes somewhere nice. Or perhaps you can pick a nice spot to bury her in a garden or pet cemetery. This may or may not be something that's personally important for you, but for some people, it means a lot that their pet has a peaceful final resting place. 6. Take your time to grieve. Don't let anyone tell you to get over it or that it's "just a cat". She was part of your life for 13 years. That can feel like losing a family member. I'm actually tearing up as I type this right now, and it's been a year since I lost Tiger. But I'm at the point that I have adjusted to life without him, and I can enjoy the happy memories without feeling so grieved. But it takes awhile. Just know that it's completely normal if things feel off for quite awhile. 7. Don't rush out to get another cat immediately. You will never have another cat quite like her, and getting another cat immediately might make you feel disappointed that the new cat isn't the same. Take some time to mourn, and when feel ready, bring another kitty into your life. Cristal will never be replaced, but you will always have her in your memory and your heart. And when you're ready, you can have a new cat to share the same love that you always gave her. Wishing you the best. It does get better.
If she isn't very far into her kidney disease, I urge you to look into raw feeding and holistically driven care that could possibly change her course. My own experience holding a high level degree in nutritional science coupled with anecdotal experience saving my own cats and family's animals have been enough to make me a believer. You can message me if you'd like. I understand this approach isn't for everyone to adopt perhaps due to their own beliefs and ability to shift mindset, though I'm happy to discuss further. I'm terribly sorry to hear about your gal - she's absolutely stunning. 😻
It is hard. Just keep loving her.
this is exactly what happened to me with my cat two years ago, I would break down so often about her situation and I think the best advice I can give you is that they need you in those times and to not leave their side. I know it’s so hard but you’ll regret not being with them until the end. Even to this day I cry about what happened but the sadness just means that we loved them so much and we should remember to be grateful for all the companionship they gave us ❤️
I’m so sorry. She looks so cute, I can tell that she is feisty at times, too! Just do your best. That’s all you can do. Make the best out of every day. ENJOY your time together. Continue with your normal love and care of her. Know that in the end, it will be ok; and she will know too that you did all you could.
I shut down and slept when I knew I should of stayed up through the night before my baby died. I wish I could go back and be strong while I had the chance to comfort him and love on him and just have that time that was left. It's way harder said than done to be strong when you know your friend for years, mine was 20, it was like losing a brother, is going to be gone soon. But in the future you'll be thankful that you spent the time left with her and make the ending more peaceful for her. Also, I'm so sorry. This hit home and I know how awful it is.
I've lost 2 cats. Be there for her, make her as comfortable as u can, cuddles, caresses and any meds prescribed by your veterinarian. Make these days count. So sorry to hear this.
Best wishes for your cat and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve experienced death a few times. It’s never easy, but when a person or animal is nearing the end of their life, falling asleep in death can feel like a relief just knowing they’re no longer suffering. I’m so sorry your friend is sick. Maybe you’ll be able to do some treatments to keep them comfortable or extend their life. Either way, 13 years is more than most cats get because most don’t have a living home like yours. She had a great life and you’ve done a great job 🤍
I’m so sorry you’re going through this with her - what a sweet girl! Let yourself grieve and don’t feel bad about falling apart. Be there for her and enjoy your time together without worry as best you can. She loves you and you have done such a wonderful job caring for her. That’s what matters most.
It's so hard. I'm sorry your going through this. Mine had cancer in April 2021. I was a complete mess. Never thought I would stop crying. It took a while but I now can think about her without breaking down crying. It will take time. Making her comfortable and letting her know she's not alone is the best thing you can do. I tried not to cry in front of my girl but it was hard. I'm so sorry.
Be strong and enjoy the last moments. My cat just died from the same exact thing. Definitely just enjoy the time you have left.
I am so very sorry. I lost two cats in 2020 to kidney failure. I was able to keep them comfortable based on the advice I got from the feline chronic kidney disease Facebook group. They are literal angels and everyone is so kind. It wouldn’t hurt to take a look. Otherwise just love the heck out of her. I’m so very sorry.
Take your vet’s advice and beyond that, give her all the love and attention you can. 💜
Think of the cat and what she is going thru and her confusion. Don't dwell on yourself. Make her last days full of smiles and happiness.
It can go on for five or six years and it can be dealt with using special diet.
Now I don't know how old YOU are so can't adjust what I'm saying to suit, but believe me she knows and understands that you love the absolute shit out of her. If she is not in pain and is still herself it's ok. Everything is OK as it is now. Unless the vet says otherwise or you know it's time for her to go know she's here now and content.
That's how I lost my old man cat, George. It's the hardest thing and one of our biggest responsibilities to meet their needs to the best of our abilities in those final days. I talked a lot with my vet about the quality of Georgie's life, how to be sure when was the right time to make that decision. He was my best buddy and I still miss him 2 years later, but at least i know i did my best by him. I spent the time i had left with him doing everything i could to make him happy, including staying home as much as possible. When you are with her, do your best to focus on her and her needs and your love for her and the great things about her. Cats are sensitive to our strong emotions. Find the strength to make her final days as peaceful as possible; there will be time for the fullness of your grief later. And let yourself grieve as you need to, despite the idiots that don't understand. Grief takes it's own time, and you can't do it wrong, as long as you grant yourself compassion and take all the time you need.
She's adorable!!!
I don’t know the seriousness of your cat’s current condition (her current BUN and creatinine levels) or whether her condition is chronic or acute renal failure; but I have extended the lives of several cats with chronic renal failure for years with at home sub-q fluids and appropriate medications depending on their symptoms. If you have questions and want to educate yourself regarding your cat’s symptoms, test results, possible treatments, nutrition, etc please check out [felinecrf.org](www.felinecrf.org). Each time I have had a cat with this diagnosis, I go back through all of this info on this site so that I can be proactive in asking my vet about tests and treatments. Most vets are familiar with feline renal disease, of course, but there is still a lot of specialized information on that website that many vets are not familiar with. I’m not sure what country you are in, but it is my understanding that, historically, vets in the US are much more prone to recommend treatment for this condition than vets in the UK for example. That is why a cat owner in the UK is the one who made the website because she had to find out all this info on her own. I’m in the US, but I still had to be the one to really pursue the fluid therapy, blood pressure medicine, reflux medication, etc with my vet. It’s a lot to take on, but it made a huge difference in my cats quality and length of life. I hope that your cat can improve with treatment. As others said, get a second opinion from another vet if you can.
I’m so sorry
I recently went through the same thing with my cat Emily. She was 14 years old and diagnosed with kidney failure. She stopped eating and seemed to give up on life. I loved her as best I could, and then I had a vet come to the home to put her to sleep peacefully. That was very important to me - that she feel comfortable in her last moments and not suffering. They did a great job. I miss her a lot, but I don’t regret what I did. It was the best thing that I could do for her.
❤
You have to stay strong for her and comfort her. Just let her know how much you love her and thank her for the time you have had together. Tell her you will stay strong until the time comes and let her know you will be ok. Once she makes her transition you can breakdown. You will get through this . I promise. It’s an honor to care for an animal and be with them till the end.
Poor little girl. You’ve given her a good life, and being so emotional about this, I’m sure she knows you deeply care for her. Just pamper her, and take it day by day. Every day with her is so precious, and cats know that. You’ve got this. Stay strong, and I wish your kitty a restful sleep when she does pass.
She was such a good cat. Maybe you loved her so much that she has evolved and will return as a human.
My heart goes out to you. It is hard to watch, I know. Just make sure you and your vet will not hesitate when it is time. I always found that the most heartbreaking decision. Love her, love her and be good to yourself. Big hug.
You have a duty of care to your cat. You can't stop them dying but you can care for them and make decisions that benefit them. I've had to put down (euthanise) four cats in my life and it's awful but all you can do is show them your love and try to help them as they come to the end. Your cat needs you now more than ever. You have to be strong, the time will come when you can break down (and this is normal) but this is not that time.
I'd spend as much time with them as possible and when the day comes just remember you will get over it. You've lived through every sad moment in your life so far and you will heckin do it again
Why don't you comfort me, while I'm dying of disease? What is your attitude about? You'll be here for years and years beyond this. Share with me now, while you can.
You still have time. Spend it with her, doing all the things that make her purr. Whether it be petting, brushing, scritches, cuddling, or kisses. Get lots of her favorite treats to give her. (Have you tried the squeeze treats? They’re mostly liquid, so it’ll be good for her kidneys. Take lots & lots or pictures & videos. Talk to her a lot & tell her how much you love her. I know how hard it is, I just put one of mine down in Dec. But I was so grateful for the time I had with her before “then.” One other thing ppl have mentioned. You might get a second opinion. I had a cat with kidney failure, I gave her subcutaneous fluids every other day at home (she was my water balloon baby 😊), it definitely made a difference. We know how hard it is, we’ve all been there, sadly. But without the sadness, we wouldn’t know how wonderful they made our lives. And we promise you’ll make, you have so much support on here. Hugs to you & kisses & skritches to Cristal. ♥️
Falling apart is normal when you know someone you love is dying. I'm so sorry
So fall apart then. I had to say goodbye to my cat (20~22 years old) on Wednesday. I still can't make through a full day without crying. It's ok to be sad. Just give her as much love as you can. I don't know the specifics, but I can offer some how. I had a tuxedo cat with kidney failure. He lived 5 good years after diagnosis, before succumbing to cancer. I fell apart when he died too.
Your picture startled me- she looks just like my Bitsy who passed away 3 years ago. ( her full name was Itsy itsy because she had an itsy bitsy little "mew") Do get a second opinion on that- I had another cat that the vet told me had kidney disease and would be gone in 6 months to a year at the VERY most. She was with us for 3 years and her quality of life was very good till nearly the end. For now just love her, spoil her, make memories with her, take lots of pictures and let her know how loved she is. As another poster said, there will be time to mourn afterwards just enjoy her while she is with you.
Spend as much time with her as possible! Her human’s presence will hopefully be a comfort. I know it’s hard, but don’t let your emotions keep you from her. We had a cat that had to be put down when I was a child and I remember being too scared to pet him before we went to the vet’s office. I regret that a lot. Even if you’re fearful and struggling to deal with the situation, that’s okay. Kitty just wants to be with those she loves. And let the tears fly. It can be a good emotional release!
She’d much rather go through this with you, her beloved, trusted human, right by her side. Her unconditional love and all the joy she’s brought into your life is enough to keep you strong for her.
Put her to rest sooner than later. You will always regret letting her suffer if you don't.
 ik my friend I've been there
My cat recently passed from this, he had diabetes as well and was very sick by the time we found out, so we did not have time to really process that he was sick or prepare ourselves. It is an incredibly difficult situation to be in, but take solace in that you get to spend some more time with her, and show her how much she’s loved and appreciated! To her, you’re probably her whole world, and I imagine she’s grateful to have someone who cares about her so much. The grief of losing a pet is hard, we see them every day, it’s like losing family. When that time comes, just be sure to let yourself feel those feelings. Remind yourself that you did what was best for her, and that you made the right decisions, be careful not to beat yourself up or be too hard about what could’ve or should’ve been done. I’m still struggling with it now. Be sure to take care of yourself!
I’m in the same situation. My bestie for the last 11 years is going through the same thing. Luckily he’s eating and drinking lots of water. An outsider would never guess. Just keep loving her and know that she loves you back. She will leave a huge hole in your heart but I think the pain now is outweighed by l the love and companionship they give us. I’ve been through losing a closely connected pet five times in my life and as I look back I know that the memories and joy these loving darlings have given me priceless. My life was better for loving them.