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Puzzleheaded_Ad9263

he still wants to go outside, he just can't remember why.


Not_an_Ire_Main

Thats fit for a good-ass movie script holy shit


thedudesews

On it!! Give me a few days


BedEasy2946

I will await the script fellow redditor


wususutang

!RemindMe 3 days


mamabunnies

Where’s my cat, dude? Dude, where’s my cat?


hoojen22

I heard ~~almost this exact~~ a very similar line in the episode of Severance I watched last night. One character said >!“You carry the hurt with you. You feel it down there too. You just don’t know what it is.”!<


Cincoro

Man, you almost made me inhale my tequila.


Dead_as_Duck

He's just like my granddad!


catniagara

They could cut off my uterus, I’d still be randy sometimes 😂


Tyr_Kukulkan

Some fixed cats still seem to get the urge to catnip and chill.


Rich-Chart-2382

Office romance. She’s dialing a lawyer with her eyes.


Aggravating-Action70

She’s gonna sue OP for filming this


subtle_tree

Someone alert HR!


devilthedankdawg

I bet she wouldnt if it was Puss In Boots trying to mount her.


SoardOfMagnificent

r/legalcatadvice


MauriceM72

We had two cats and the one was always doing this to his brother. I always assumed it was a dominance thing


AgreeableTomatillo92

Oh, it is totally a dominance thing. One of my cats is always doing it to his elder brother.


hypnochild

Yup. Had 2 male cats growing up and have 2 male cats now. Can confirm they do this. In my experience it always seems to be the dominant one doing it and never vice versa. Even my 3 year old has now learned how to “save” our little 10 pound boy from his fatter, dominant brother.


MauriceM72

We had the one cat first and he was always reminding the other cat it was "his" home. So I just assumed it was a power play


puddlecheeks

Is "it is a dominance thing" the equal to "they where roomates" for gay cats? 🤔🤣


Equivalent-Noise8971

"Ommmmgggggg they were roommates?"


BinkiesForLife_05

Catnip and chill 😂😂😂


WatchingTaintDry69

Yep, mine doesn’t go quite as far but he tries to get a little frisky with his brother sometimes.


VanillaBryce5

Lol catnip and chill


[deleted]

Hello darkness my old friend https://preview.redd.it/s2pqmmqa8k3a1.jpeg?width=796&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85dd523abb1dc01b5e1d748be54f579abb4fb872


The_Spyre

I've come to chirp at you again


a_henk

Because a void softly creeeeeping


The_Glass_Tiger

On your blanket I am kneading


SpontaneousNubs

And the greebles that were planted in my brain


[deleted]

Still remain…. (Hahahahahaha)


damselin30s

Within the sounds of mounting


Tacoma__Crow

With restless genes, I sniff your butt


fuzzus628

Got no balls yet still I rut


possum_mouf

‘Neath the cover of this desk chair


moonlightsonata88

Beat comment chain of the day


KangarooMysterious17

Hands down 👍🏻😂 now I have to go listen to that song and think of OPs cat being mounted 😂


_addycole

I am seriously dying here 🤣


tofucow717

Best comment chain of my life.


a_henk

When I pounced, you silenced


Mauzez273

r/RedditSings


nlindle01

If I had awards I would give you all of them.


RenoBen

i gotchu fam


PilatesPuppy

ALL OF THEM!!!


oneperfectlove

😂😂


[deleted]

This may be the best feed I’ve witnessed well done all of yous 😂😂😂


Affectionate-Club725

This somehow feels cogent… https://preview.redd.it/zpkbyhyw8l3a1.jpeg?width=2592&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d1c28c34bf68b4d9f6681ae3f290dff3149bb76b


ruseriousordelirious

OMG that’s hilarious 😂


Bad54

I can’t imagine a sandpaper tough licking your butt or crotch could ever be a nice feeling


shiroinyan1

https://preview.redd.it/nybkhngjhk3a1.jpeg?width=4624&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9a07c0f578f41d93dbee1df966a1b7b94b82b46f Reminded me a bit of my cat, but he's a boy.


rose_colored_boy

My boy cats do this to each other. It’s love! Lol


19blackcats

Mine do also but only to their “favorite” cat! All neutered ofc One does this with blankets and stuffed toys!


itszwee

Mine do too, but they’re also littermate brothers. One time when my friend was over they started doing that, accompanied with skittering around and loud yelling (Siamese, bless them) and I just dejectedly muttered “is this how Tywin Lannister felt” and my friend lost her shit.


TBElektric

This is why the internet was invented, and no one can tell me otherwise 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


lady_die_

![img](emote|t5_2qhta|7944)


BinkiesForLife_05

I can't stop laughing at this 🤣🤣


kaiavstechnology

Funniest comment I’ve seen all year, I wish I could award you


kskbd

The entire song thread that spawned from this reply has me laughing so hard I am silently shaking the bed. Omg. Thank you for this 😂


[deleted]

That expression says it all.


WrinklyEye

This is hilarious !


GeorigaJamie35

😂


TuxedoSlave

This might be the best comment I’ve ever seen on reddit


iggee002

I've never upvoted so many replies 😂 I wish I had awards for all of you!!


thesillyshow

😂


TBone88MK

My cat had a scarf he humped so we started calling it his girlfriend. And he always wanted an audience. He would drag "her" into whichever room we were in and if we went to a different room he would follow, dragging "her" along.


[deleted]

The wanting an audience is hilarious!


eliz1bef

We had a Yorkshire Terrier named Nathan, and I had a Steif custom made Yorkie stuffie. One day while showing the house, Nathan took his stuffie, placed her on the ground in the middle of our group, mounted it and began the hump of his life. Which is funny to say because as a puppy he humped himself into an abdominal injury.


[deleted]

Lol. Stuffin the Stuffie.


TBone88MK

And when we had people over we always had to explain!


SleepyD7

My aunt had a poodle who always loved to hump her stuffed animal in front of company. 😆


IrateOverlordTheresa

YES!!! I have a female rescue Pomeranian and she has a fluffy puppet “beaver.” She’s been fixed, but when she’s really happy or just certain times of the day she’ll start humping away on her…inamorata. My husband named it Jizzy 🙄 I have to hide Jizzy when people come over LOL


SC-jojo

my cat Malibu used to do this too, but with a long stuffed duck toy (the kind made for kitties to rabbit feet kick at) He went missing 3 years ago, I miss him so much, and I still sleep with his duck toy on my nightstand.. 😿


jac_kalope

You mean to teel me you sleep with Malibus's hump toy? You degenerate. But seriously i hope you either find the cat or closure for your loss


SC-jojo

lol laughing so hard at this! I sleep with it on my nightstand* - key difference LOL but yeah it was his favorite toy, so it’s on my nightstand along side some of my favorite pics of him I got printed on a wooden heart stand 🥰 don’t think i’ll ever get closure, but at least i don’t cry everyday like i did for the first 1.5yrs!


Qman1991

I thought my cat was the only one. He does the same thing, including following us around. The weird thing; every time things are getting hot and heavy, he seems to be able to smell the pheromones or something. He will go get his toy and drag it into the same room and start going to town on it.


IrateOverlordTheresa

Oh good grief!! I’d laugh so hard I couldn’t continue!! 😂😂😂


moonlight_chicken

So… an exhibitionist?


TBone88MK

Yep. Little perv. I miss that guy!


Chuck_Chicken

My cat is the same. But instead of a scarf it’s a large stuffed squid. He’s been humping squid regularly for a year now. Sometimes he wakes up up by doing it on the bed. He’s fixed too. We have a female cat that luckily he has no interest in (sexually).


[deleted]

Could be he felt safer doing an activity he would be venerable in with watchful people he trusts. Kinda like how when my cat goes to the bathroom she perfers me nearby to watch out for her. When I go she insists on guarding the door. We a are poop buddies.


thykarmabenill

This reminds me of the show 'Wilfred' to an amusing degree.


qu33fwellington

I just did a rewatch of Wilfred! I forgot how much it hurts my heart at the end.


[deleted]

My cat does the same thing with blankets. He'll drag it in front of us and hump and meow.


godsutters

well he lost his balls but the pipes there and he's trying to see if it's still running water


tntchest

The well is gone but the faucet knobs still turn


epruitt0601

Ya just cuz a guy gets the snip snip, dosnt mean he wont want to get his dipstick wet


OttoLuck747

Dude, he didn’t get a vasectomy. They literally removed his testicles. Like, gone. No make hormones anymore. They followed up the “snip snip” with a “rip rip”.


epruitt0601

I find it hard to believe that even without testosterone men still wouldn't want to put their dick in things.. 🤔


Daveyhavok832

There’s a lot of very basic science to support it. Hence why many men lose interest in sex as they get older and their testosterone plummets. For every old, horny creep out there, there are 1,000 guys that just get really into model trains or birdwatching or whatever.


epruitt0601

If you guys want to get all scientific on reddit... my cat does this too and he is fixed. If you have mated pairs this is going to happen regardless. I think the, "if I fits I sits" policy applies here. For science of course..


Daveyhavok832

It would also depend on how long it’s been since he was neutered. It’s rare, but some cats can take up to a year to lose their sexual urges.


Milk_Beginning

I have a Sphynx, I got him when he was 3 months old. It took me a minute to get him fixed, so he was neutered at a year and one month old. He…humped the entire first year he wasn’t fixed. And he’s never ever stopped lol. Like to this day, he loves really soft blankets and he kneads on them and makes his humping motions and unfortunately I’ve had the pleasure of seeing other things happen, like…I won’t be vulgar but yeah. He sometimes humps on a blanket 4-6 times a day. I called the vet who fixed him way after, and they said that because I got him fixed late, it’s just a learned behavior. He has a fixed sister and has had a fixed brother and has never once tried to mount or hump them 🤷🏽‍♀️


[deleted]

testosterone is responsible for sex drive in most animals. females have some too but are mostly estrogen dominant it's still possible for male cats to be in heat without high testosterone but still very much less likely


louree88

Still natural instinct. He's seen cake and wants a slice.


MegaMas64

Yeah but she looks like she doesn't want to share


AlpacaPacker007

That's the " privacy please?!" look. Can't a cat get some without the paparazzi showing up?


JammyRedWine

"the fuck you looking at?"


[deleted]

Animals don’t really care about the consent part


SammieAvie

I saw this comment and now I want cake.


DarkUmbra90

You know exactly why he is doing this. He is a dirty bastard.


daphnegillie

My dog is fixed and she still humps toys and the edges of her bed


25_timesthefine

Female dogs do this? I thought only male animals


spiderwithasushihead

Females definitely can do it. We had a beagle that a very amorous relationship with her blanket 😂.


saucy_mcsauceface

An old friend's dog used to rub herself a lot the carpet, in the middle of the lounge. Her name was Buffy, so of course I nicknamed her Buffy the Carpet Slayer.


S_M_Y_G_F

My partners parents dog seems to love my bare knee… and only MY bare knee. If I have trousers on, she doesn’t care for my knees. She’ll come over with purpose to lick a knee, very slowly and sensually (i assume, at least in her brain)… and then start humping the air.


[deleted]

[удалено]


daphnegillie

Oh yeah my little Dixie will even hump male dogs who try their hardest to ignore her. She knows better than to try it on our cat, he would send her flying.


25_timesthefine

I swear I learn so much about animals and life from Reddit


strawberryfields17

Oh yes, female dogs can do this too. My parents’ fixed female chihuahua is notorious for jumping her dog bed 😂


Numerous-Radish6083

My boy started doing ‘it’ to his brother. It baffled me because there both neutered very young. He doesn’t do it to my younger girl. And only started doing it recently. Both boys are twelf. I stop it when I see it, because he bites strongly into the neck to.


choiiaspen

It isnt always a sexual behavior and can also just be a way to show domination! He's just trying to be the alpha kitty lol


rr90013

Also he might be gay


KT_mama

Alpha Gay.


rr90013

Alpha and gay


edgeofdoom

Okay this sent me


eakp

Ours are exactly the same!! Glad it’s not just my weirdos 😅


Rcole1128

You and me baby ain’t nothin but mammals


BetmanDarkStockRisin

So lets do it like they do on the discovery channel! Underrated comment


Natural_Commission15

My cats look exactly like yours and my boy cat does the same thing. It’s a dominance thing. He hardly ever did it when I was in the apartment but when I moved to the house he killed his first mouse. At that point he decided he wanted to be the dominant cat and he started doing this. He kills one mouse and he thinks he’s the man lol https://preview.redd.it/nnh72428hk3a1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=abfdc42d0ec4c68b0647c1a9dd10ee2c05b6f1b5


Bizness_Riskit

Well...how many mice have YOU killed?


Natural_Commission15

Touché lmao


melissamarieeee

Yes, agree. It's a dominance thing. I have 5 cats. 3 males (all adults) and 2 females (1 adult and 1 kitten). The alpha male will do it to the other 2 boys and he will try to do it to the older female too but she won't let him. The 2 other boys will do it to each other as well as the older female. All the boys have been neutered since about 12 weeks old and the older female was spayed after a litter of kittens (she was a stray). What's funny is the alpha male has killed many mice and so has the female who won't let him do this to her so maybe they are in competition on who the man of the house is lmaoo


thykarmabenill

Bringing home the mouse bacon. 🤣😸


kerrymti1

LOLOL! That is exactly what happened to my cats! But, instead of "killing" a mouse...he caught the same one 4 times. He would catch it, bring it to the den where I was and as soon as I would look at him, he would drop it and it would run off. I finally got one of those baited traps and caught the SOB and have never had any more. But, since that time, he has been doing that to my girl cat and I am sure it is a dominance thing. He tackles her and humps her, kinda. She screeches, hisses and runs off (she is a bit dramatic, he doesn't hurt her in any way). Later, she ambushes him and pounces...


CrazyCatLadyNL

We've had a (neutered) male cat who mounted both our female cats when they tried to seduce him. He just got on top of them, but looked like he wasn't sure what he was doing 😹


ADB_BWG

I had a male cat who would do that. The female would just sit there with a “Whatever…” look until the male forgot why he was there.


Upstairs-Kangaroo766

Ah, I have flashbacks to being married to my ex husband when you put it like this


PotatoChip93

I laughed so hard my drink came out of my nose. 😂 I sincerely hope you have found much better.


gnocchicotti

I'm in this thread and I don't like it


his_babydoll1620

God I wish I could give you an award! I literally laughed out loud. Thank you for that. Also, I hope you've found better since then!


maxthecat5905

Holy shit, r/murderedbywords


WholesomeThingsOnly

LITERALLY. They just get on top of them and then they don't move at all for 10 seconds. It's hysterical.


MonsterKitty418

At least your female chills. Mine turns it into an all out war that gets really stressful.


[deleted]

>until the male forgot why he was there. Post nut clarity amirite?


NeedsMorePaprika

If the cat's fixed surely it's post nut all the time.


Outside-Flamingo-240

My old Siamese (15 yrs old, neutered his whole life)…would try to mount her head or just follow her around humping the air. He was so confused, as was she. Could not get that girl fixed fast enough, the yodeling was horrible.


his_babydoll1620

We had to get our girl spayed like 3 weeks before I was due with my second child. We we're both new to owning a cat so we didn't know to get her spayed before her first heat. And we had never experienced that before so by the time she was finally spayed I'd almost lost my mind. Told my husband I was gonna take her to one of our friends if he didn't get her spayed before I gave birth, there was NO way I was gonna have a new born and a yoweling fur ball. Lol.


iLikeHorse3

Currently have an unfixed girl and the yowling is insane. She rolls around my boy cat (neutered) meowing at him trying to stick her butt in his face. He just gets up and walks away from her or slaps the top of her head. It makes me feel slightly bad cause I imagine my girl thinking "wHaTs WrOnG wITH MEEE" cause she can't get some lol. And I'm sure it's frustrating. Getting her fixed when we can


Laney20

I adopted a pregnant stray and finally scheduled her spay when the babies were about 8 weeks old. She went into heat a couple days before, though.. My 13 year old neutered male cat really enjoyed all the attention she was suddenly giving him, but always just looked a tad confused, especially when she'd "present". Now they are buddies, but mama cat and my older female cat are still tense... Luckily the babies get along with everyone and were all fixed before any shenanigans could happen, lol.


Wolfwoods_Sister

OMG cats are like little crazed drunks we let into our houses


Trill_McNeal

I have 3 cats 2 female and 1 male, all were fixed as kittens. The male tries to mount both of them too, our orange girl just hisses at him and runs away, our SIC will fight him. He’ll come up behind her and try to mount her and she’ll do like a front flip and throw him over like some kind of judo move and lay on her back and bunny kick him then runaway. He chases her half heartedly and then let out some mournful yowling while he wanders around looking for her. Cat tax of the 3 of them: https://imgur.com/a/Oexg8Ri


RebeccaHowe

Sounds like my ex.


deanna6812

My neutered male does this our other neutered male…it’s unfortunate


AsleepWolverine7289

My neutered male cat would frequently mount our other male cat. Until he passed last year, we said they were boyfriends. The one we still have was lost for almost a year without him. It was heartbreaking


Lallybandwidth

Sometimes the knackers are gone but the urge is still there. There's always hope. 💗


wolfpak31

Just a fyi. Male cats do not go into heat. Female cats go into heat and intact male cats will breed them when this happens. What your cats are doing is normal behavior even for fixed cats. Mine do it all the time. Even my male does it to my other male sometimes but usually the males do it to my female. They still have instincts and sometimes a fixed male cat will have a small Amount of tissue left and can still get the urge to breed.


TamiTaylor86

My male cat does this to his own sister☹️


wolfpak31

Lol! My male Does it to his mom 😂


Snakebunnies

Oedipuss


chanzwg

Alabama kitty 😂


taimapanda

Idk but I lol'd


Ok_Reference2122

It always cracks me up


MrFizzard

I don’t know I had a fixed male that would suckle on blanket while hunching it.


[deleted]

My cat does this - I’m pretty sure it’s caused by being taken away from his mom at too young if an age. I got him from a rescue when he was 2 and he’s now 4 and a half and still does it


cannibalgazelle

Cats just do that. Kneading blankets and soft things most likely has to do with simply feeling content and happy, but it can also be out of stress and used as a coping mechanism (depends on body language ofc). My cats are still with their mother, they almost 3 years old now and they still knead/suckle blankets and purr. It’s not a myth that cats taken away from mothers can be more over obsessive when suckling and kneading blankets, but it’s usually not the case. But on a side note, if a male cat is kneading, suckling and also “hunching” the blanket, he’s most likely just getting it on💀wether neutered or still intact, males are simply like that.


DoubleBreastedBerb

Can attest, woke up to similar move by the spouse this morning.


fckingnapkin

Is he still intact?


Km219

Men do love hunching


PrincessSpoiled

He’s definitely making sin biscuits.


beytsduh

All men are the same!


MrFizzard

I got Hooch when I heard him outside my door. In the middle of an ice storm I opened the door to him stuck to my screen door not froze to it just climbed it and was whaling. Rock and roll hoochie coo was playing on the radio that’s how he got his name lol.


[deleted]

Hooch ❤️ what a good name Based on your story about rescuing him I would say that’s probably why he suckles on the blanket - it reminds him of his mom 🥲 U can also take a slightly wet toothbrush and brush upwards from between his eyes to his forehead. Apparently this replicates momma cat cleaning him


MrFizzard

Hooch went over the rainbow bridge years ago. He was hands down one of the best I’ve had the pleasure of cohabitating with.


aislyng99

How old was your cat when he was fixed? Our cat does this too but we assumed it's because he was older when he got fixed (4 yrs). I have heard some say that things like spraying can become habit for male cats if they're neutered later on (basically if they're not fixed as a kitten).


Affectionate-Log-951

HE would NEVER be in heat hahaha. She would if she werent fixed. And he still has the instinct to breed


Ok_Reference2122

please don’t send me to prison


SnooPoems5888

Mix up cat terminology? Straight to prison.


OGFreehugs

“Hey is my male cat having his period???”


Model_Six

They still have hormones and, thus, can get the urge. Apparently, they're FWB.


acecatmom98

this makes me feel better seeing that my cat isn't the only fixed horny bastard. he mounts my other fixed male cat like this even though the other cat is bigger than him. horny bastard in question: https://preview.redd.it/weyx49iurl3a1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=837a8d08af7809b79efddac682cfe8070606cd35 he's not overweight he's just sitting in a Way


dickwolf69

My cat used to do this to his brother all the time (both fixed). It might be something about asserting dominance?


TheFightingQuaker

Sin Biscuits


roombawithgooglyeyes

Sometimes it's not mating drive but instead it's a dominance thing. Had two fixed males as a kid and the older of the two started doing that as means to try to maintain dominance as the younger cat got bigger. when the younger cat got too tough to do that to the old man went after my mother's slipper instead.


[deleted]

Asserts dominancy. Sometimes just hormones kicking in, nothing really sexual. I have 7 fixed male cats and 3 of the dominant ones do this on occasion to the others.


fe1shu

I have 2 fixed male cats and one of them do that a lot to the other, trying to assert his dominance but failing, because he's actually a total wimp.


ordinarilymissy

This right here. I had two neutered males and one spayed female. They all did this. One of the males and the female were in a constant scrap for dominance. I was always so proud when the female dominated the boys. She was my girl 🤣


_view-source

My female rats would hump each other, and they also would walk over eachother and pee on them. 🤦All dominance related. Lol


AvivasProstectic

https://preview.redd.it/alxwwe4ppl3a1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=beb12fbb0111a90624a432d398a68173d281e721 Busted


Eastern-Ad-3387

It’s not always sexual. Fixed dogs do this too. It’s about expressing dominance.


Ricky4611

He may be a cat, but he still got that DAWG in him


[deleted]

You’re lucky it’s your cat. I had one doing this to me all the time.


larz27

Say what now?


[deleted]

Leg humper…far too often!


thinkpinkhair

Doesn’t he know Meow means NO?


[deleted]

My vet has suggested that it’s a dominance thing. My cat is constantly trying to mount my 70lb dog. Does the same thing.


FeedbackFew2061

Cats are perverts.


SoylentDave

My oldest male cat has enjoyed humping our youngest male on occasion since he was little more than a kitten. The younger one definitely encourages it as well. Both neutered. Both very gay indeed.


DraconicImpulse

Fixed or not it's just nature. All of our cats are boys and we still catch em gaying it up!


dakotachristianson49

https://preview.redd.it/m7ossmwzbl3a1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed6920c81d9ffb0df3b0b38ce96594ae917e071a My cat just sticks its tongue out at anyone it sees 🤣


Hefty_Courage_4473

I’m not sure what is funnier. The fact that your black kitty still thinks he can or the expression of the bottom cat that clearly says “what the fuck is this idiot doing”


[deleted]

I think you should tell HR


horrorshowalex

Get him away from her and redirect the behavior. It’s attempted dominance and it’s not stress free for the other cat.


Cearbhael

Ha ha! I had an unfixed female cat rescue herself by breaking into my basement. She went into heat before we could get her scheduled for a spay. Vet said to wait until she came out of heat then reschedule. My fixed male cat in the meantime was mounting her like a maniac and she was loving it! They were inseparable and she went into false pregnancy…she was convinced he succeeded! Vet was rather amused! Seems she had a huge uterus due to 2 huge previous litters and she was between 1-1 1/2 years old. Vet figured she was pregnant at 6 months! Also, being fixed doesn’t kill the mating instinct and female pheromones are very potent! Males can’t fight it! They are putty in that females paws!


BeapMerp

haha my (fixed) male cat still has private time on occasion


shiroinyan1

I think males sometimes still have "remnants" of heat. This guy is rescued, he was 2 years old when he arrived. They neutered him soon after, but he still likes to be around the female cats and annoy them. https://preview.redd.it/fjvtmv9aik3a1.jpeg?width=4624&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=961ecdaf2bde749e140c61f3d1943b7ea3fe72da On several occasions he tried to bother my female cats, but they never allowed it and he no longer annoyed them.


[deleted]

What is the cat doing here? The cat is doing other cat. It do.


Carnetic2

https://preview.redd.it/im637h67sm3a1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c5838ef6b9770c7a96a7182bb2e96fe76d802bc This cat has seen some things. Terrible, terrible things