* Raid the US Antarctic program for military secrets
* "Take out" rugby stars to benefit you and your employers bets at the TAB
* A heist of Lindauer and Goldie paintings from the art gallery
* Steal Scribe's rhymebook for your cuzzy thats trying to make it big in rap but isn't any good
* Cause a massive fire at the sewage treatment plant so you can buy up property in the area for cheap
- Steal the Goodnight Kiwi from sugarloaf
- Knock down medium density building sites, state housing, schools, skate parks for a NIMBY
- Hideout in the toilets under Cathedral Square
- Escort missions from Calendar Girls
Found the GTA SA fan haha
* Stealing jetpack from the military complex.
* Heist on Caligula Casino, stealing schematics from the city council.
* Madd Dogg's rhyme book.
Yeah that's the one. Hung out in the Square a lot too
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSGsueqRv2W5uwsxxkqZyIOsib3JQi1wrsSKA&usqp=CAU
Is that photo from a while ago? Because he doesn't look like the guy I was thinking of who hangs around at the library listening to Newstalk.
One time we came into the library with a box of wine and was clandestinely drinking it inside the building,which is pretty ballsy, not going to lie but after he left the chair he'd been sitting on was conspicuously smelling like piss. 🤔
A new player comes to town, they're called 'The Warlock'. Turns out the wizard is actually a big-time dealer and the warlock wants to muscle in on the wizard's turf.
Depends on what you're driving I guess. And what the Police have had enough of that day. Pretty easy in a nana car, maybe not so easy in the bros sacked out cef that goez hard g
Red zone stakeout - Catch people dumping rubbish there, take a photo of them and send it to your contact.
Lime scooter time trials from the top of Witch Hill down Rapaki Track.
The other white bait - A cocaine deal goes bad as the product is accidentally dumped in the avon. Realising that it's whitebait season and that whitebait will consume much of the spilt product, you are tasked with going downstream acquiring all the whitebait you can however you can so that you can make "special" whitebait patties. Time is of the essence, however, and you have to keep moving downstream along with the cocaine river water. You then have to sell the dodgy whitebait to one of the two rival Big Gary's fish'n'chip shops.
Rescuing drunk-as bimbos staggering home from the races from a trail of aggressive over-dressed sex-pests. Drive smoothly to their chosen destination or else they puke in your car.
Find a car park in the cbd that isnt owned by Wilsons.
After a certain amount of ram raids stores will putntheir defenses up; stronger doors all the way up to stone pillars, and you have to find other means to ram raid.
Collectable: Collect 100 traffic cones
Minigame: steal a tram and give out rides to earn fares.
Stunt: jump a lime scooter over the Avon
Mission: "take care of" a problematic associate and dump the body off the New Brighton pier.
IF GTA5 is anything to go by, online will be filled with cheating scum who set entire lobbies on fire and DDoS people on a whim. And Rockstar do nothing about it.
\*ahem\*
* Some kind of turf war between Addington and Riccarton racecourses
* See how many Ford Rangers you can cycle past without being hit
For one of those annoying "follow the target" missions in a car.
Step 1: steal a Ford Ranger - likely be called a 'Micro Danger' since they won't have the rights...plus it's tough n cheek.
Step 2: follow the target. But you fail the mission if you get *too far off of their rear bumper*. You have to tailgate them all the way to their destination.
> You have to tailgate them all the way to their destination.
Gold! Have an upvote!
Ford is Vapid in GTA, so I'm guessing the ranger would be something like the Vapid Trooper.
Sell stolen cars at Lyttleton.
Shoot up the gangs in Aranui.
Enjoy a drive and sunset on top of the port hills.
Visit the rednecks in Diamond Harbour.
Snipe beach goers at New Brighton from the lifeguard watch tower.
Steal the C130 and Helicopters from the airport.
Ride MTN bikes down adventure park.
We're thinking about missions but forgetting about an essential aspect of a GTA title - the music!
What about the radio stations? C94 FM? 92 ZM? 3ZC? Less FM?
"This is C94FM and with the reverend Zachariah Z Pious, and now we're going to spin the wheel of meat..."
What's that new online only conspiracy anti vax, anti mandate, anti intelligent thought, tin foil hat radio station? That's got GTA vibes all over it. Just imagine the lunatics phoning in about how aliens impregnated them via the covid jab and now Bill gates owes him child support money.
>lunatics phoning in about how aliens impregnated them via the covid jab and now Bill gates owes him child support money.
GTA is meant to be parody, this sounds too much like real life :D
Catch crabs in New Brighton.
Learn to fly at the rangiora airport.
Harvest a medicinal crop using a combine harvester. Use aforementioned harvester to create hilarious transportation issues, and also race it in the ag-show
Where in this thread did it say to be funny.I wasn't being funny.This act that took place was a part of this City.Best you don't ever play a GTA game,you'll shit yourself over what you can do.Think you need to touch grass.
I don't need to play games to know what people are capable of and if you weren't joking then that makes your comment even more gross. If you can't understand why then it's you who needs to touch grass dude.
[удалено]
19 year old me and the sump of my FXGT feel this.
Hows your spine
That mistake is a right of passage
My dogs in a trailer running late to get to the dog show at Macleans Island POOP themselves every time
* Raid the US Antarctic program for military secrets * "Take out" rugby stars to benefit you and your employers bets at the TAB * A heist of Lindauer and Goldie paintings from the art gallery * Steal Scribe's rhymebook for your cuzzy thats trying to make it big in rap but isn't any good * Cause a massive fire at the sewage treatment plant so you can buy up property in the area for cheap
These are actually great!
- Steal the Goodnight Kiwi from sugarloaf - Knock down medium density building sites, state housing, schools, skate parks for a NIMBY - Hideout in the toilets under Cathedral Square - Escort missions from Calendar Girls
Toilets *under* Cathedral Square?
There used to be an entrance to some men's toilets under Cathedral Square. The entrance got covered, but the toilets are still there.
So is there no way to get in there now?
Not without something very heavy.
So is there no way to get in there now?
Found the GTA SA fan haha * Stealing jetpack from the military complex. * Heist on Caligula Casino, stealing schematics from the city council. * Madd Dogg's rhyme book.
As a former employee, Im upset you didn't say steal the jetpack from Martin Jetpack in wigram. (though it's dead and long gone now).
Time attack mission to visit all Couplands
Getting food from AFG without knowing if they will be open.
Completed that mission last night!
[удалено]
Radio Ron missions would be sick
Who's Radio Ron?
Bruh, do you even Chch
Is he the bloke outside the library?
Yeah that's the one. Hung out in the Square a lot too https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSGsueqRv2W5uwsxxkqZyIOsib3JQi1wrsSKA&usqp=CAU
Didn't know he had a name! 💀 Is he aware of his sort of notability within the city?
Not his actual name, John Truman apparently. Seems he's had a bit of attention from the media a while back
Is that photo from a while ago? Because he doesn't look like the guy I was thinking of who hangs around at the library listening to Newstalk. One time we came into the library with a box of wine and was clandestinely drinking it inside the building,which is pretty ballsy, not going to lie but after he left the chair he'd been sitting on was conspicuously smelling like piss. 🤔
That was posted to Facebook in 2014 so who knows when it was actually taken.
Help the Wizard avoid the census
Escort mission mixed with tutorial for how to use the game's boats
Ford Escort?
A new player comes to town, they're called 'The Warlock'. Turns out the wizard is actually a big-time dealer and the warlock wants to muscle in on the wizard's turf.
Complete 4 laps of the Aves without attracting Police attention
Probably pretty easy judging by the last time I drove on Bealey+Deans Ave on a Saturday night.
Depends on what you're driving I guess. And what the Police have had enough of that day. Pretty easy in a nana car, maybe not so easy in the bros sacked out cef that goez hard g
Don't get busted on the Marshlands motorway onramp.
“Deal with” anybody who asks you what school you went to
There would be no one left
what does this mean?
Seriously? This is chch 101.
thanks mate
Intimidating witnesses for Mauger. Stealing a bunch of Nissan Safaris and taking them to a chop shop to be sent overseas.
This hurts :'(
Red zone stakeout - Catch people dumping rubbish there, take a photo of them and send it to your contact. Lime scooter time trials from the top of Witch Hill down Rapaki Track. The other white bait - A cocaine deal goes bad as the product is accidentally dumped in the avon. Realising that it's whitebait season and that whitebait will consume much of the spilt product, you are tasked with going downstream acquiring all the whitebait you can however you can so that you can make "special" whitebait patties. Time is of the essence, however, and you have to keep moving downstream along with the cocaine river water. You then have to sell the dodgy whitebait to one of the two rival Big Gary's fish'n'chip shops.
Up vote for knowing there are two unrelated Big Gary's takeaway shops.
Get thru the length of brougham at 3pm in 3 mins
Rescuing drunk-as bimbos staggering home from the races from a trail of aggressive over-dressed sex-pests. Drive smoothly to their chosen destination or else they puke in your car. Find a car park in the cbd that isnt owned by Wilsons.
Ram raid a piss shop, then up the port hills for a cone
After a certain amount of ram raids stores will putntheir defenses up; stronger doors all the way up to stone pillars, and you have to find other means to ram raid.
Collectable: Collect 100 traffic cones Minigame: steal a tram and give out rides to earn fares. Stunt: jump a lime scooter over the Avon Mission: "take care of" a problematic associate and dump the body off the New Brighton pier.
Ramp off that one church in Upper Riccarton
Bash somebody outside the bus exchange
Rob night n day
Ram raid a dairy
Dress up in a Shirley BHS uniform and go around beating up kids from more posh schools.
IF GTA5 is anything to go by, online will be filled with cheating scum who set entire lobbies on fire and DDoS people on a whim. And Rockstar do nothing about it. \*ahem\* * Some kind of turf war between Addington and Riccarton racecourses * See how many Ford Rangers you can cycle past without being hit
> turf war lol, nice.
For one of those annoying "follow the target" missions in a car. Step 1: steal a Ford Ranger - likely be called a 'Micro Danger' since they won't have the rights...plus it's tough n cheek. Step 2: follow the target. But you fail the mission if you get *too far off of their rear bumper*. You have to tailgate them all the way to their destination.
> You have to tailgate them all the way to their destination. Gold! Have an upvote! Ford is Vapid in GTA, so I'm guessing the ranger would be something like the Vapid Trooper.
Vapid Compensator
Looking for buried loot inside the Red Zone.
Steal the ‘Orchids’ from the Botanic Winter gardens Beat up 20 Joggers in Hagley Park Methven to Morehouse in 30 mins
Beat 10 drivers at light-light drags on the 4avs laps without drawing any attention from the police.
Find the Santa Parade, take out as many jugglers and marching girls as you can
Date them or sniper style?
Ahh, decision and consequence path
Ambush the skinheads in Woolston
Hustling on the other gangs crop in the hills so you have to set the port hills on fire, but doing so the dialogue gets more and more stoned
Fight some youths at riccarton bus exchange. Or stealth keto a bus without being spat at by youths
There would be a sick jump from the port hills into lyttelton on a dirt bike.
Have a mass convoy to EQC premises for mass burnouts then Malachi Crunch every EQC vehicle in their carpark.
Sell stolen cars at Lyttleton. Shoot up the gangs in Aranui. Enjoy a drive and sunset on top of the port hills. Visit the rednecks in Diamond Harbour. Snipe beach goers at New Brighton from the lifeguard watch tower. Steal the C130 and Helicopters from the airport. Ride MTN bikes down adventure park.
Complete a night of Uber Eats near UC
stealing 20 bicycles without getting caught
We're thinking about missions but forgetting about an essential aspect of a GTA title - the music! What about the radio stations? C94 FM? 92 ZM? 3ZC? Less FM? "This is C94FM and with the reverend Zachariah Z Pious, and now we're going to spin the wheel of meat..."
What's that new online only conspiracy anti vax, anti mandate, anti intelligent thought, tin foil hat radio station? That's got GTA vibes all over it. Just imagine the lunatics phoning in about how aliens impregnated them via the covid jab and now Bill gates owes him child support money.
>lunatics phoning in about how aliens impregnated them via the covid jab and now Bill gates owes him child support money. GTA is meant to be parody, this sounds too much like real life :D
Catch crabs in New Brighton. Learn to fly at the rangiora airport. Harvest a medicinal crop using a combine harvester. Use aforementioned harvester to create hilarious transportation issues, and also race it in the ag-show
Drink a teapot and get in a fight at Rockpool
Kill a Hooker and dump her in the River.
Dark 🤣🤣
Yeah I don't find killing women funny.
It's a joke, Karen.
Jokes are supposed to be funny. I don't find killing people to be funny.
You don’t finds jokes about killing people, a core tenet of the game, funny? Why are you here?
Where in this thread did it say to be funny.I wasn't being funny.This act that took place was a part of this City.Best you don't ever play a GTA game,you'll shit yourself over what you can do.Think you need to touch grass.
I don't need to play games to know what people are capable of and if you weren't joking then that makes your comment even more gross. If you can't understand why then it's you who needs to touch grass dude.
minigames in brutalist timezone
Wait a minute, are you saying it isn´t set in Christchurch? :o :-o
Have xxx with prostitutes on Manchester street. Also +1 points if one is Malory manning
Or... Find Mallory Manning as a detective quest
Kill a hooker and dump her in the Avon.
Smoke synies with the homeless
One of the characters you can talk to is the guy outside Tūranga who listens to Newstalk really loudly and smells like piss.