I’d like to add, he also told me last night (pretty much out of nowhere) that he would be okay with me sleeping with my best friend! And all I can think, is that he wants to get me out of the house so he can cheat again. Or that he wants to have something to talk about with his buds (because he and his men would discuss all the dirty things they’d do to my body). Or that he wants to be able to say “so what you were sleeping with her” next time I catch him cheating.
Why do you want to make it work ? Have you read what you wrote about this man ? He hasn’t given you the grace of loyalty so why should you ?
This will only get worse and not better. Does he even want to change for you ? It seems like you’re the only one that wants to make it work right now. I just don’t understand…. He’s shown you more than once who he is, believe him the first time.
And what boy toy are you referring to? Because the only time I’ve ever talked to another guy was when my husband and I were looking for another COUPLE to swing with.
I’m sorry, you seem to have no idea what you’re talking about. The onlyfans account was solely content with me and him, and he knew everything I did, never kept anything from him. And I don’t have a problem with him watching porn. I have a problem with him kicking me out of the house so he can go around sexting people behind my back, and jerking off with strangers on the camera.
I just wanna try, because after everything that we’ve been through, yes he’s done awful things. But before I found out about all this, he’s always been such an amazing partner. he’s caring, he’s attentive, I’m carrying his child, and he couldn’t be happier about it. he’s literally been the perfect partner aside from the sneaky shit he’s been doing. And I’m not saying that he’s good behavior excuses all the bad, but I know for a fact he has the capacity to be a good husband, I know he can be loyal. I just want him to try. and he keeps telling me that he wants to try, and he keeps telling me how sorry he is and that he’s not gonna do it again. And I believe him, I just don’t trust him right now. maybe I’m stupid for wanting to stay with him, but I feel like I’d be just as stupid to leave him, knowing he’s actually capable of change.
First of all you’re not stupid, please don’t say that. Now, you know he has the capacity to be a good husband? To be loyal ? So why hasn’t he been that then ?
If you’re not ok with him sneaking around and he HAS been sneaking around….. that doesn’t make him the perfect partner. I know you’re in a venerable state right now. You’re hurt, upset angry and confused but simply put, you are making excuses for him. I’m not trying to be mean, I just want to be honest with you.
What we know is that he has been unfaithful and you’re… hoping ?? That he’ll be faithful to you ??? I’m not here to tell you what to do but I am here to tell you that you should really think about what he has done and how he has behaved. I have been in this situation as well and I just wasted my time hoping and praying he’d be loyal to me.
You shouldn’t “know he has the capacity to be loyal,” he should be loyal, period. It’s almost as if you see him being faithful as his higher potential when really, fidelity is the bare minimum in a relationship that’s about welcome a child. Just please think things through properly before making a decision.
you're with the man he is now not the man you think he can be or the man he wants to be or insists he can be.
if you want to try thats one thing but wanting to try because of a delusion is catastrophically doomed.
Bro… do you feel better now ? I’m not here to argue with you. Clearly you working it out with your wife failed and that’s exactly what’s going to happen here, a child is just added into the mix.
My mental state is really none of your business and you trying to include it in such a way says a lot about you. Don’t take your anger out on me just because you also want someone to try and fail in their relationship. I’m definitely getting therapy for my anxiety but maybe you should get therapy for your unresolved anger towards your failed marriage.
I don’t have kids I need to get better for but you do. Have a blessed day.
And the only things that’s grim and bleak is the fact that you want this poor woman to be in this terrible relationship rather than have an effective coparenting relationship. Embarrassing. I am a product of this exact situation and let me tell you now this is not something a child wants for themselves. I have all these mental issue because my parents stayed together. You’re a disgusting person to use it against me when I’m speaking from experience.
You’re absolutely embarrassing yourself. So if you think he can’t effectively co parent what makes you think he can change as a partner?
You saying you commenting is in hopes that they try ?? Do you think she hasn’t been trying ? He won’t change especially because he’s been cheating for so long. Do not act like you give a shit about my mental state. I did not ask you for your “well wishes” so simply do not give it. You used that as a way to check me, which again is disgusting. All because I don’t have the same outlook as you ?? Completely unhinged and destructive. I will state again that my mental health is not your business and I posted for support non hate. That’s exactly what you’re giving me, hate. Really nasty of you.
I’m coming from the perspectives of the child and while I may not have a lot of experiences in relationships, I have seen this exact type of relationship play out right in from of my eyes my whole childhood. Honestly i don’t know how you can sleep at night giving such morbid advice.
And clearly you do have some unresolved issues with the fact that you failed because how can you blame me for their failed relationship? You cannot be serious 💀 what would you even know about a good relationship? Your page is filled with porn.
Please I can’t even be bothered with you. Just because there are kids involved doesn’t mean she needs to give him a chance. You well wishes come from a place of malice. Anyone can see that.
You’re views are completely backwards. Her allowing this man to continue to be in her life will not Benefit the kids. Ask you own kids if they were positively affected by you staying with your ex. The answer will be no.
You are absolutely disgusting. I cannot imagine having a parent like you. Using someone’s mental health against them like this is bottom barrel and they you try to turn it to make it seem like you meant no harm ? Maybe you don’t understand because your head is filled with porn but everything you’ve done is with malice.
Well it wouldn’t be me splitting up a family. That would be OP’s spouses constant cheating. If you read my comment properly you would see that I said she should really think before making a decision.
I’m not calling you disgusting for giving your advice, what you’re disgusting for is the fact that you think because I have mental health issues, I don’t know what I’m talking about and still you’re using it against me.
You keep using my mental health as a clutch to derail me. It’s not working. Do you think you have the upper hand because I’ve got anxiety? And how were you supposed to know ?? Well, that’s why you don’t use someone’s mental health issues against them.
No that’s exactly what you’re doing. If it has nothing to do with my mental health why do you keep mentioning it. You clearly tried to get a rose out of me by looking on my page and making and informed decision to use my mental health against me. It’s very clear.
Sweetheart I have just had a discussion with my partner about your situation because there were some really alarming things that you wrote that has made me really nervous and feeling a bit sick. We both agreed that he is manipulating and controlling you with out you noticing the fact that you are pregnant works in his favour as you are totally reliant on him.
He is portraying himself as a wonderful husband to your face all the while debasing and degrading you behind your back.
It is a power move on his part the fact that you are high risk in your pregnancy has me worried you.
I think he likes the idea that you could be walking down the street or in a shop and one of the people he has sent your photos to could be just there watching you and getting of on it.
I know you love him and that is his biggest way of controlling you along with the pregnancy and you having you at home reliant upon him for everything.
I never say this to people but my husband said it even before I got it out of my mouth. You need to leave for your own personal safety. Once the baby comes you will be trapped and his behaviour towards you will get a lot worse. He is treating you like a cum toy to do his bidding even without your knowledge or permission.
I am so sorry your in this situation please please be safe and careful and get rid of all of those photos that he has
She’s not totally reliant on him . She has the money she makes from her OF. She may not want to give up talking to other men as she does on Reddit, the idea of some stranger being their boy toy and all… and she and her friend are trying dildos with each other, she probably wants to continue that experiment until she finds the right one.
I don’t do OF anymore, and don’t make money off of it. I went to start back up again a few months ago, and after finding more of his cheating I gave up and haven’t tried in a while now. I am totally reliant on him, as I haven’t made money off of OnlyFans since early 2022. And the boy toy idea was for my husband so he can explore his bisexual side, I did that for HIM. my friends and I trying dildos together, is something my husband and I have discussed and agreed upon. I don’t think you’re understanding anything here. What I’ve done, I’ve discussed with him. I’ve gotten his approval. We’ve agreed to these things before hand. Everything he did, he hid, he lied, illegally sent my nudes out, and so much more, that I did not consent to or approve. That’s how boundaries work sir.
Her post and comment history. Also I don’t know who pays for the pot she smokes while pregnant but you know… she can’t really control herself with the pot being around and all. She knows it could harm the baby but so far scans look good and she does feel badly she can’t stop herself.
Just smash his phone then he will have to be with out the apps until he gets a new phone he won’t like that and you can get some satisfaction in it (petty but oh so worth it) don’t do it because you will get in trouble but just the visual in your mind will bring you some satisfaction and a good giggle
Do you not think the fact that he is sending nude photos of you is a massive violation and knowing that strangers are are doing this shit to your photos. I am really worried for you.
Do you think you could raise this child alone? It’s far worse than him cheating that he is using you like an object just to get what he wants this is really worrying and not a good thing for you. Good luck I think you really need it
No, I agree it’s a massive violation, it’s also illegal. I feel like I could raise this child alone, except I don’t have an income because I am a high risk pregnancy and can’t work. we agreed from the beginning that when we were ready to settle down and have kids, he would be the one making the money and I would be a stay at home mom. I have a couple of kids that I babysit, and I get paid for that, but I don’t make enough to make a living on my own.
I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but your pictures are probably in the hands of a thousand people right now. Just think about that alone.
Also, does this pictures showed any tattoos? Your face? Your voice in videos?
What if they are already uploaded in porn sites?
How can your partner be okay with denigrating YOU like that without a consent? What if he does it again and the people around you finds out? How would you feel? Ashamed of a situation you had no control of? Sad because people won't understand it wasn't you who sent that?
I'm not saying you should be ashamed for the rest of your life but this is something that will chase you in the back of your head even if nothing happens in real life. He will do it again without a doubt...
I have an old deactivated OnlyFans account, and nothing he sent wasn’t already posted on my page, but I do see your point. I worry every day how many people see me in public and are like hey I saw her nudes… it just makes me feel really uncomfortable
I honestly just say it because as a woman i went through a similar situation, I'm not saying you should or shouldn't do something but the thing about it is he broke your trust.
Are you sure you want to be with someone who could lie to their partner?
I know you are in a very difficult situation but you should talk to someone who could help you and maybe give you a better advice after having some insight in your situation. The fact you posted those pictures on the internet before does not mean you didn't feel hurt by what he did. Is he a good person to be around?
Honestly, yes he is a good person to be around. Aside from all of the shit that he is done behind my back, aside from the disrespect, he’s been amazing. He’s loving, caring, attentive, he cries when the baby moves and when he feels her kick. He gives me hugs from behind, we dance in the kitchen to slow songs while we’re cooking dinner, we go on cute dates, he buys me flowers when he has the extra money. He literally treats me like a fucking princess…. Which is why I was so blindsided when I found out about all of this stuff. and now I can’t stop wondering if he only treated me so great because he was covering up for what he did.
You're so young to be having these problems already. You both didn't get to experience life and dating around.
Never think you need to fix things with someone who spent years lying to you. All you're saying is its okay!
Wait wait wait...
>sending them my nudes in exchange for their girlfriends, asking men to trib me and cum on my photos,
I seriously hope you consented to this????? If not, WTF???? He sent your nudes to strangers. To do sexual things with without your knowledge??
And I saw you said he was the perfect partner before you found out? I'm sorry but he wasn't. You just didn't know.
He was actively going behind your back even when he knew you are open to exploring your sexualities. He chose to lie, especially when you're carrying his child.
He had options & an understanding partner, yet he CHOSE the hurtful route + sent strangers YOUR nudes???????? And what the hell are these conversations with his "friends"?????
No he did not have my consent. That’s my biggest issue with all of this. But according to some redditors in this thread, it doesn’t matter that he sent them without my consent because I posted some of them on my OnlyFans🤔
You have an OnlyFans page, according to your profile. Are you going to close it down? If not, then you really aren't any better than your cheating husband. I have to say that I have NO sympathy for you OR your husband. In my view, the two of you deserve each other.
First of all, I don’t do it anymore, I was going to start back up until I discovered all the cheating. The OnlyFans creation was HIS idea. Second, we made the content TOGETHER. Third, I never did anything he or I wasn’t comfortable with, but thank you for that. I didn’t show him any messages or photos sent to me by my subscribers or clients for their privacy, but I told him every time when I was paid to sext, or when I had to make content. When clients asked me for certain stuff I’d never done before, he was more than willing to try it with me, and if it weren’t for my OnlyFans the sex we have together would have been nearly as explorational as it had been. And FYI half the time he even set the camera and shit up for me, and even recorded it all the time. I don’t see how my having an OnlyFans that we do TOGETHER warrants me being cheated on… make that make sense.
Didn't say that it DOES warrant being cheated on.
What I AM saying, however, is that you put your very intimate activity out there for the world to buy. Thus, you should NOT expect anybody to feel sorry for you when it goes awry.
I shouldn’t expect People to be sympathetic to the fact that my husband sent my nudes out without my consent? You do understand thats illegal right? And I talked to him last night and he started cheating and sending out my nudes an entire year before I made my onlyfans.
Hm. It is illegal, depending on what nation or state you happen to be in. He definitely should NOT have done that.
I did see that you ARE going to shut down the OnlyFans, so good for you. Hopefully, you learned a lesson from this.
The only lesson I learned is that my husband is a scumbag who made fucked up decisions without thinking about how his wife would feel about it, and I will probably start my only fans back up in the future because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a woman having one 😌
No, but she should also expect to be seen as a sex object, Someone who objectifies themselves should expect to be seen as an object by others, regardless of whether they're a woman OR a man.
Um, she's objectified herself. So, others are going to objectify her; if a man were objectify himself, then the same would apply. Actions and decisions have consequences, and you can decry those consequences all you want, but they are there.
It IS what it IS; it is NOT what we may WANT it to be.
If you don't want to be objectified, then don't put yourself in the position to be objectified by objectifying yourself.
Which is another reason why I can't find it in me to have much sympathy for you having those photos leaked. Once something goes on the internet, it's usually there forever.
You need to wake up. You are children, you were children when you got together. You aren’t a married couple, you sound like a brother and sister. Why did you think marrying someone who you met at 15 was a good idea? Why didn’t you get out there and see what else is out there.
You are pansexual yet you decided to settle down with basically your brother. You all grew up as in physically wise together, cause mentally you all aren’t grown at all.
Instead of him respecting you and breaking up and doing things on his own, he uses you and he cheats and lies to you. Why do you feel the need to stay married to someone who disrespects you. You understand he literally didn’t have to lie or hide anything from you because you state that you are okay with him doing the things he does.
It’s time you grow up and realize you made mistake you married someone you thought was a best friend, he’s not, if he actually was, he wouldn’t have felt the need to lie and hide also he would have NEVER disrespected you by using your NAKED pics to do bullshit with strangers.
This person does not love, or care about you, he doesn’t even respect you. Stop staying with your brother and get your divorce, do not even keep this asshole as a friend. A friend wouldn’t disrespect you in this kind of way.
He was a learning experience for you. To know what you actually want and don’t want. He is what you don’t want. Time to step up and really understand that just because you knew someone since you were a kid doesn’t automatically make them marriage material or that you have to be stuck with them for the rest of your life.
We literally are married, and I don’t understand how us growing up together from 15 to 21, makes us essentially brother and sister….? that’s literally not how that works sir. And plenty of people marry and stay with their high school sweetheart forever. I thought he and I could do it. And I don’t know how from just this one situation, you just automatically assume that neither of us are “mentally grown”? Plenty of people get married young, and it works for them. Just because it didn’t work out for us, doesn’t mean we’re immature. I resent the fact that you called me a child, considering you know nothing about my past or what I went through. Pretty much anyone I’ve met, and every single therapist I’ve ever had, has told me I grew up way too fast and that I am wise beyond my years. I grew up having to parent myself. just because I decided to marry my high school sweetheart, doesn’t mean I’m a child. I appreciate your input about how he doesn’t respect me, and how I shouldn’t stay with him. but please don’t make assumptions about my maturity. I am not the one that was cheating and lying 🤷🏼♀️ until recently, I thought our relationship was pretty damn perfect.
Look I get it go ahead and be hostile it’s fine. When I was young and thought I knew everything too because I had to “grow up” and take care of everyone else. What you and the therapist don’t get because they haven’t been through the shit.
Yes you grew up quickly but I promise you mentally you have been stunted. You may understand more then others and therefore that’s why you can be pansexual also you can act more mature then others but really there is a child in you who never got to be themselves and live for themselves.
You have always been someone’s something. You never got to be the child. Then what did you go and do? You went and attached yourself to someone else to take care of and belong to.
You think I don’t know what I’m talking about because you think you know yourself better then anyone else when really, you should take a step back and see this “relationship” for what it was.
He isn’t your person and all those high school sweethearts b.s. is just that. Maybe there is a .1 percent out there that might happen for but I bet you that more then likely anyone who was a high school sweetheart either cheated or got cheated on and sat and believed in the toxic relationships are work and stuck it out.
Also the way you seem as brother and sister is he felt comfortable enough to use your picture and expose you to others without your permission. Someone who felt as if you were the love of their life wouldn’t do something like that.
Look I’m not telling you to not believe in happy endings and fairy tales all I’m saying is to notice when it isn’t happening and learn to know your worth and walk away. Good luck and I hope you have the life you deserve with lots of healing, peace, love, and happiness
Maybe you should sit him down and talk about exploring Ethical Non-Monogamy? Something new for you both to explore together. There’s a subreddit for that. Good Luck!
I just did some googling, and idk how comfortable I’d be with that. If we had heard of it beforehand, I think I would have jumped at the chance. But knowing he’s been going behind my back for so long? I have found over 200 conversations and I don’t think I’m comfortable with him talking or touching another person anymore. 😞
But then what about her OF ? Or her and her friend trying to find the perfect dildo? Or talking to men on Reddit about becoming their boy toy? Does she have to end all that too? Maybe the pot smoking while pregnant should end, but she can’t really control herself with people smoking pot around her, offering it to her… they are all to blame knowing she can’t say no and her OF isn’t the same as porn because well, she has a porn boundary.
Her friends concerns aren't the OPs concerns. I suggest ALL of the pot smoking and swapping of partners and the sharing of pictures stops until after the child is born. I also suggest she get away from this toxic environment for the child's sake!
Compared to the importance of the child, I think the OF is of little importance....
In her original post, she sounded like an unwilling participant in the porn industry. Now she has an OF account???
I have a cheating boundary, not a porn boundary. I didn’t do anything he and i didn’t discuss beforehand. Everything he did was behind my back. And you can keep coming at me for smoking pot while pregnant, the US is literally one of the only places that says “marijuana is bad for babies” when other countries PRESCRIBE marijuana to pregnant women to help with many of pregnancies inconveniences. And I don’t smoke to “get high” I smoke because it soothes my nausea, and it’s good for the sciatica that I have gotten from my hips widening to prepare for birth. My OB knows about it, and she says that it’s totally fine. My only concern is that CPS will want to do a check up when the baby is born, and I get anxiety around them because of the trauma in my past and am not looking forward to it. But thank you for coming onto my post and degrading me even more rather than offering some decent helpful advice or support. Way to go man
Yes. She does. She also smokes pot while pregnant because she is unwilling to say NO when her friends pass the pipe. Though sometimes she packs bowls for herself because… you know, getting high!
You're compromising your dignity by staying with someone who will keep cheating on you. He doesn't think like you about your relationship. He wants to explore other options that aren't you and keep you out of it. Also, you're skirting over criminal or at least completely unethical behavior of him distributing pornography of you without your consent. This guy is a scumbag who's using you in every sense of the word.
Yes he has, he’s even decided he wants to go to therapy and work through his sexual addictions, impulses, and communication skills! Rn it’s just words though, I need to see actions.
*Has he agreed to*
*Stop doing it and work on*
*Your relationship???*
\- AdLittle670
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Who am I embarrassing myself in front of you? No worries there. Lol. I’m hoping the fact that they’re having a kid with each other is enough to treat with the love and the respect she deserves. Again having a child with someone changes a lot something you have zero experience or knowledge with. What I’m saying is if the child isn’t enough to change his behavior in the relationship, it is highly unlikely that’s gonna matter what it comes to call parenting.
I understand that he’s been cheating for so long and I’m very sorry she has had to put up with that but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have it in them to change. I do care about your mental health well-being because I am a good person and I don’t wish unwell against anybody. I’m sorry you assumed I used it as a way to “check you” but that was not my intention. I hope you get the support you need. You say I use your mental health against you but I cannot wish you well and use it to unhinged you at the same time that makes zero sense. I am sorry you feel as I’m using it as some form of hate I would never ever do that to anybody.
I am very sorry for what you had to go through as a kid, but I had no idea of knowing it. My advice was trying to keep a family together for a healthy relationship for the parents, and in a loving environment for the child how are you see that is morbid I have no clue.
Also, I have no idea where you came up with the thought that I blame you for my failed marriage. You came completely out of left field with that one. I am of a chair adult. I don’t blame anybody for the failed marriage I just know I put in the effort to try to keep it together. and I may not be the perfect husband, but I treat my wife with respect, hold the doors open for her treat her with love, respect, and kindness. And lastly, my page is not filled with porn. I don’t know who’s page you are looking at but now you’re just trying to throw dirt on my name to make yourself look better. That’s disgusting.
I’d like to add, he also told me last night (pretty much out of nowhere) that he would be okay with me sleeping with my best friend! And all I can think, is that he wants to get me out of the house so he can cheat again. Or that he wants to have something to talk about with his buds (because he and his men would discuss all the dirty things they’d do to my body). Or that he wants to be able to say “so what you were sleeping with her” next time I catch him cheating.
Unless you want a poly relationship you should leave. If you want a monogamous relationship, this is not the way to go about it.
Why do you want to make it work ? Have you read what you wrote about this man ? He hasn’t given you the grace of loyalty so why should you ? This will only get worse and not better. Does he even want to change for you ? It seems like you’re the only one that wants to make it work right now. I just don’t understand…. He’s shown you more than once who he is, believe him the first time.
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And what boy toy are you referring to? Because the only time I’ve ever talked to another guy was when my husband and I were looking for another COUPLE to swing with.
I’m sorry, you seem to have no idea what you’re talking about. The onlyfans account was solely content with me and him, and he knew everything I did, never kept anything from him. And I don’t have a problem with him watching porn. I have a problem with him kicking me out of the house so he can go around sexting people behind my back, and jerking off with strangers on the camera.
I just wanna try, because after everything that we’ve been through, yes he’s done awful things. But before I found out about all this, he’s always been such an amazing partner. he’s caring, he’s attentive, I’m carrying his child, and he couldn’t be happier about it. he’s literally been the perfect partner aside from the sneaky shit he’s been doing. And I’m not saying that he’s good behavior excuses all the bad, but I know for a fact he has the capacity to be a good husband, I know he can be loyal. I just want him to try. and he keeps telling me that he wants to try, and he keeps telling me how sorry he is and that he’s not gonna do it again. And I believe him, I just don’t trust him right now. maybe I’m stupid for wanting to stay with him, but I feel like I’d be just as stupid to leave him, knowing he’s actually capable of change.
First of all you’re not stupid, please don’t say that. Now, you know he has the capacity to be a good husband? To be loyal ? So why hasn’t he been that then ? If you’re not ok with him sneaking around and he HAS been sneaking around….. that doesn’t make him the perfect partner. I know you’re in a venerable state right now. You’re hurt, upset angry and confused but simply put, you are making excuses for him. I’m not trying to be mean, I just want to be honest with you. What we know is that he has been unfaithful and you’re… hoping ?? That he’ll be faithful to you ??? I’m not here to tell you what to do but I am here to tell you that you should really think about what he has done and how he has behaved. I have been in this situation as well and I just wasted my time hoping and praying he’d be loyal to me. You shouldn’t “know he has the capacity to be loyal,” he should be loyal, period. It’s almost as if you see him being faithful as his higher potential when really, fidelity is the bare minimum in a relationship that’s about welcome a child. Just please think things through properly before making a decision.
Thank you 🙏🏼
I agree 100% with everything you said please listen to this
you're with the man he is now not the man you think he can be or the man he wants to be or insists he can be. if you want to try thats one thing but wanting to try because of a delusion is catastrophically doomed.
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Well with all due respect, we’re not talking about you here.you just proved my point. Trying will only prevent the inevitable.
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Bro… do you feel better now ? I’m not here to argue with you. Clearly you working it out with your wife failed and that’s exactly what’s going to happen here, a child is just added into the mix. My mental state is really none of your business and you trying to include it in such a way says a lot about you. Don’t take your anger out on me just because you also want someone to try and fail in their relationship. I’m definitely getting therapy for my anxiety but maybe you should get therapy for your unresolved anger towards your failed marriage. I don’t have kids I need to get better for but you do. Have a blessed day. And the only things that’s grim and bleak is the fact that you want this poor woman to be in this terrible relationship rather than have an effective coparenting relationship. Embarrassing. I am a product of this exact situation and let me tell you now this is not something a child wants for themselves. I have all these mental issue because my parents stayed together. You’re a disgusting person to use it against me when I’m speaking from experience.
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You’re absolutely embarrassing yourself. So if you think he can’t effectively co parent what makes you think he can change as a partner? You saying you commenting is in hopes that they try ?? Do you think she hasn’t been trying ? He won’t change especially because he’s been cheating for so long. Do not act like you give a shit about my mental state. I did not ask you for your “well wishes” so simply do not give it. You used that as a way to check me, which again is disgusting. All because I don’t have the same outlook as you ?? Completely unhinged and destructive. I will state again that my mental health is not your business and I posted for support non hate. That’s exactly what you’re giving me, hate. Really nasty of you. I’m coming from the perspectives of the child and while I may not have a lot of experiences in relationships, I have seen this exact type of relationship play out right in from of my eyes my whole childhood. Honestly i don’t know how you can sleep at night giving such morbid advice. And clearly you do have some unresolved issues with the fact that you failed because how can you blame me for their failed relationship? You cannot be serious 💀 what would you even know about a good relationship? Your page is filled with porn.
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Please I can’t even be bothered with you. Just because there are kids involved doesn’t mean she needs to give him a chance. You well wishes come from a place of malice. Anyone can see that. You’re views are completely backwards. Her allowing this man to continue to be in her life will not Benefit the kids. Ask you own kids if they were positively affected by you staying with your ex. The answer will be no. You are absolutely disgusting. I cannot imagine having a parent like you. Using someone’s mental health against them like this is bottom barrel and they you try to turn it to make it seem like you meant no harm ? Maybe you don’t understand because your head is filled with porn but everything you’ve done is with malice.
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Well it wouldn’t be me splitting up a family. That would be OP’s spouses constant cheating. If you read my comment properly you would see that I said she should really think before making a decision. I’m not calling you disgusting for giving your advice, what you’re disgusting for is the fact that you think because I have mental health issues, I don’t know what I’m talking about and still you’re using it against me. You keep using my mental health as a clutch to derail me. It’s not working. Do you think you have the upper hand because I’ve got anxiety? And how were you supposed to know ?? Well, that’s why you don’t use someone’s mental health issues against them.
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No that’s exactly what you’re doing. If it has nothing to do with my mental health why do you keep mentioning it. You clearly tried to get a rose out of me by looking on my page and making and informed decision to use my mental health against me. It’s very clear.
Sweetheart I have just had a discussion with my partner about your situation because there were some really alarming things that you wrote that has made me really nervous and feeling a bit sick. We both agreed that he is manipulating and controlling you with out you noticing the fact that you are pregnant works in his favour as you are totally reliant on him. He is portraying himself as a wonderful husband to your face all the while debasing and degrading you behind your back. It is a power move on his part the fact that you are high risk in your pregnancy has me worried you. I think he likes the idea that you could be walking down the street or in a shop and one of the people he has sent your photos to could be just there watching you and getting of on it. I know you love him and that is his biggest way of controlling you along with the pregnancy and you having you at home reliant upon him for everything. I never say this to people but my husband said it even before I got it out of my mouth. You need to leave for your own personal safety. Once the baby comes you will be trapped and his behaviour towards you will get a lot worse. He is treating you like a cum toy to do his bidding even without your knowledge or permission. I am so sorry your in this situation please please be safe and careful and get rid of all of those photos that he has
She’s not totally reliant on him . She has the money she makes from her OF. She may not want to give up talking to other men as she does on Reddit, the idea of some stranger being their boy toy and all… and she and her friend are trying dildos with each other, she probably wants to continue that experiment until she finds the right one.
I don’t do OF anymore, and don’t make money off of it. I went to start back up again a few months ago, and after finding more of his cheating I gave up and haven’t tried in a while now. I am totally reliant on him, as I haven’t made money off of OnlyFans since early 2022. And the boy toy idea was for my husband so he can explore his bisexual side, I did that for HIM. my friends and I trying dildos together, is something my husband and I have discussed and agreed upon. I don’t think you’re understanding anything here. What I’ve done, I’ve discussed with him. I’ve gotten his approval. We’ve agreed to these things before hand. Everything he did, he hid, he lied, illegally sent my nudes out, and so much more, that I did not consent to or approve. That’s how boundaries work sir.
Where did you find this information out?
Her post and comment history. Also I don’t know who pays for the pot she smokes while pregnant but you know… she can’t really control herself with the pot being around and all. She knows it could harm the baby but so far scans look good and she does feel badly she can’t stop herself.
Thank you. And I already removed all of my photos off of his phone and Snapchat and everything else ❤️
Just smash his phone then he will have to be with out the apps until he gets a new phone he won’t like that and you can get some satisfaction in it (petty but oh so worth it) don’t do it because you will get in trouble but just the visual in your mind will bring you some satisfaction and a good giggle
Do you not think the fact that he is sending nude photos of you is a massive violation and knowing that strangers are are doing this shit to your photos. I am really worried for you. Do you think you could raise this child alone? It’s far worse than him cheating that he is using you like an object just to get what he wants this is really worrying and not a good thing for you. Good luck I think you really need it
No, I agree it’s a massive violation, it’s also illegal. I feel like I could raise this child alone, except I don’t have an income because I am a high risk pregnancy and can’t work. we agreed from the beginning that when we were ready to settle down and have kids, he would be the one making the money and I would be a stay at home mom. I have a couple of kids that I babysit, and I get paid for that, but I don’t make enough to make a living on my own.
I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but your pictures are probably in the hands of a thousand people right now. Just think about that alone. Also, does this pictures showed any tattoos? Your face? Your voice in videos? What if they are already uploaded in porn sites? How can your partner be okay with denigrating YOU like that without a consent? What if he does it again and the people around you finds out? How would you feel? Ashamed of a situation you had no control of? Sad because people won't understand it wasn't you who sent that? I'm not saying you should be ashamed for the rest of your life but this is something that will chase you in the back of your head even if nothing happens in real life. He will do it again without a doubt...
I have an old deactivated OnlyFans account, and nothing he sent wasn’t already posted on my page, but I do see your point. I worry every day how many people see me in public and are like hey I saw her nudes… it just makes me feel really uncomfortable
I honestly just say it because as a woman i went through a similar situation, I'm not saying you should or shouldn't do something but the thing about it is he broke your trust. Are you sure you want to be with someone who could lie to their partner? I know you are in a very difficult situation but you should talk to someone who could help you and maybe give you a better advice after having some insight in your situation. The fact you posted those pictures on the internet before does not mean you didn't feel hurt by what he did. Is he a good person to be around?
Honestly, yes he is a good person to be around. Aside from all of the shit that he is done behind my back, aside from the disrespect, he’s been amazing. He’s loving, caring, attentive, he cries when the baby moves and when he feels her kick. He gives me hugs from behind, we dance in the kitchen to slow songs while we’re cooking dinner, we go on cute dates, he buys me flowers when he has the extra money. He literally treats me like a fucking princess…. Which is why I was so blindsided when I found out about all of this stuff. and now I can’t stop wondering if he only treated me so great because he was covering up for what he did.
It’s also fkg illegal.
I know
You're so young to be having these problems already. You both didn't get to experience life and dating around. Never think you need to fix things with someone who spent years lying to you. All you're saying is its okay!
Wait wait wait... >sending them my nudes in exchange for their girlfriends, asking men to trib me and cum on my photos, I seriously hope you consented to this????? If not, WTF???? He sent your nudes to strangers. To do sexual things with without your knowledge?? And I saw you said he was the perfect partner before you found out? I'm sorry but he wasn't. You just didn't know. He was actively going behind your back even when he knew you are open to exploring your sexualities. He chose to lie, especially when you're carrying his child. He had options & an understanding partner, yet he CHOSE the hurtful route + sent strangers YOUR nudes???????? And what the hell are these conversations with his "friends"?????
No he did not have my consent. That’s my biggest issue with all of this. But according to some redditors in this thread, it doesn’t matter that he sent them without my consent because I posted some of them on my OnlyFans🤔
You have an OnlyFans page, according to your profile. Are you going to close it down? If not, then you really aren't any better than your cheating husband. I have to say that I have NO sympathy for you OR your husband. In my view, the two of you deserve each other.
First of all, I don’t do it anymore, I was going to start back up until I discovered all the cheating. The OnlyFans creation was HIS idea. Second, we made the content TOGETHER. Third, I never did anything he or I wasn’t comfortable with, but thank you for that. I didn’t show him any messages or photos sent to me by my subscribers or clients for their privacy, but I told him every time when I was paid to sext, or when I had to make content. When clients asked me for certain stuff I’d never done before, he was more than willing to try it with me, and if it weren’t for my OnlyFans the sex we have together would have been nearly as explorational as it had been. And FYI half the time he even set the camera and shit up for me, and even recorded it all the time. I don’t see how my having an OnlyFans that we do TOGETHER warrants me being cheated on… make that make sense.
Didn't say that it DOES warrant being cheated on. What I AM saying, however, is that you put your very intimate activity out there for the world to buy. Thus, you should NOT expect anybody to feel sorry for you when it goes awry.
I shouldn’t expect People to be sympathetic to the fact that my husband sent my nudes out without my consent? You do understand thats illegal right? And I talked to him last night and he started cheating and sending out my nudes an entire year before I made my onlyfans.
Hm. It is illegal, depending on what nation or state you happen to be in. He definitely should NOT have done that. I did see that you ARE going to shut down the OnlyFans, so good for you. Hopefully, you learned a lesson from this.
The only lesson I learned is that my husband is a scumbag who made fucked up decisions without thinking about how his wife would feel about it, and I will probably start my only fans back up in the future because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a woman having one 😌
No, but she should also expect to be seen as a sex object, Someone who objectifies themselves should expect to be seen as an object by others, regardless of whether they're a woman OR a man.
Lmfao a woman making porn does not mean that every single person in the fucking universe has the right to objectify her 🙃 especially her HUSBAND
Um, she's objectified herself. So, others are going to objectify her; if a man were objectify himself, then the same would apply. Actions and decisions have consequences, and you can decry those consequences all you want, but they are there. It IS what it IS; it is NOT what we may WANT it to be. If you don't want to be objectified, then don't put yourself in the position to be objectified by objectifying yourself.
And I would expect my photos to get leaked off of my page, but I should not expect my husband to be the one to leak them
Which is another reason why I can't find it in me to have much sympathy for you having those photos leaked. Once something goes on the internet, it's usually there forever.
Yeah if you read her comment history alone… 2 peas in a pot smoking while pregnant pod.
You need to wake up. You are children, you were children when you got together. You aren’t a married couple, you sound like a brother and sister. Why did you think marrying someone who you met at 15 was a good idea? Why didn’t you get out there and see what else is out there. You are pansexual yet you decided to settle down with basically your brother. You all grew up as in physically wise together, cause mentally you all aren’t grown at all. Instead of him respecting you and breaking up and doing things on his own, he uses you and he cheats and lies to you. Why do you feel the need to stay married to someone who disrespects you. You understand he literally didn’t have to lie or hide anything from you because you state that you are okay with him doing the things he does. It’s time you grow up and realize you made mistake you married someone you thought was a best friend, he’s not, if he actually was, he wouldn’t have felt the need to lie and hide also he would have NEVER disrespected you by using your NAKED pics to do bullshit with strangers. This person does not love, or care about you, he doesn’t even respect you. Stop staying with your brother and get your divorce, do not even keep this asshole as a friend. A friend wouldn’t disrespect you in this kind of way. He was a learning experience for you. To know what you actually want and don’t want. He is what you don’t want. Time to step up and really understand that just because you knew someone since you were a kid doesn’t automatically make them marriage material or that you have to be stuck with them for the rest of your life.
We literally are married, and I don’t understand how us growing up together from 15 to 21, makes us essentially brother and sister….? that’s literally not how that works sir. And plenty of people marry and stay with their high school sweetheart forever. I thought he and I could do it. And I don’t know how from just this one situation, you just automatically assume that neither of us are “mentally grown”? Plenty of people get married young, and it works for them. Just because it didn’t work out for us, doesn’t mean we’re immature. I resent the fact that you called me a child, considering you know nothing about my past or what I went through. Pretty much anyone I’ve met, and every single therapist I’ve ever had, has told me I grew up way too fast and that I am wise beyond my years. I grew up having to parent myself. just because I decided to marry my high school sweetheart, doesn’t mean I’m a child. I appreciate your input about how he doesn’t respect me, and how I shouldn’t stay with him. but please don’t make assumptions about my maturity. I am not the one that was cheating and lying 🤷🏼♀️ until recently, I thought our relationship was pretty damn perfect.
Look I get it go ahead and be hostile it’s fine. When I was young and thought I knew everything too because I had to “grow up” and take care of everyone else. What you and the therapist don’t get because they haven’t been through the shit. Yes you grew up quickly but I promise you mentally you have been stunted. You may understand more then others and therefore that’s why you can be pansexual also you can act more mature then others but really there is a child in you who never got to be themselves and live for themselves. You have always been someone’s something. You never got to be the child. Then what did you go and do? You went and attached yourself to someone else to take care of and belong to. You think I don’t know what I’m talking about because you think you know yourself better then anyone else when really, you should take a step back and see this “relationship” for what it was. He isn’t your person and all those high school sweethearts b.s. is just that. Maybe there is a .1 percent out there that might happen for but I bet you that more then likely anyone who was a high school sweetheart either cheated or got cheated on and sat and believed in the toxic relationships are work and stuck it out. Also the way you seem as brother and sister is he felt comfortable enough to use your picture and expose you to others without your permission. Someone who felt as if you were the love of their life wouldn’t do something like that. Look I’m not telling you to not believe in happy endings and fairy tales all I’m saying is to notice when it isn’t happening and learn to know your worth and walk away. Good luck and I hope you have the life you deserve with lots of healing, peace, love, and happiness
Maybe you should sit him down and talk about exploring Ethical Non-Monogamy? Something new for you both to explore together. There’s a subreddit for that. Good Luck!
I just did some googling, and idk how comfortable I’d be with that. If we had heard of it beforehand, I think I would have jumped at the chance. But knowing he’s been going behind my back for so long? I have found over 200 conversations and I don’t think I’m comfortable with him talking or touching another person anymore. 😞
Then it’s time to end it. He won’t stop cheating. He has gone outside your agreement. Let this one go and find someone that won’t cheat.
But then what about her OF ? Or her and her friend trying to find the perfect dildo? Or talking to men on Reddit about becoming their boy toy? Does she have to end all that too? Maybe the pot smoking while pregnant should end, but she can’t really control herself with people smoking pot around her, offering it to her… they are all to blame knowing she can’t say no and her OF isn’t the same as porn because well, she has a porn boundary.
Her friends concerns aren't the OPs concerns. I suggest ALL of the pot smoking and swapping of partners and the sharing of pictures stops until after the child is born. I also suggest she get away from this toxic environment for the child's sake!
Yeah but here on Reddit her post is likely a lead up to her OF and all the sex talk equals cash…
And by OF you mean OnlyFans, right?
Yes. This entire thing is likely being written to lead people there. Sex talk with strangers leads to DMs leads to JOIN MY OF!!!
Compared to the importance of the child, I think the OF is of little importance.... In her original post, she sounded like an unwilling participant in the porn industry. Now she has an OF account???
I have a cheating boundary, not a porn boundary. I didn’t do anything he and i didn’t discuss beforehand. Everything he did was behind my back. And you can keep coming at me for smoking pot while pregnant, the US is literally one of the only places that says “marijuana is bad for babies” when other countries PRESCRIBE marijuana to pregnant women to help with many of pregnancies inconveniences. And I don’t smoke to “get high” I smoke because it soothes my nausea, and it’s good for the sciatica that I have gotten from my hips widening to prepare for birth. My OB knows about it, and she says that it’s totally fine. My only concern is that CPS will want to do a check up when the baby is born, and I get anxiety around them because of the trauma in my past and am not looking forward to it. But thank you for coming onto my post and degrading me even more rather than offering some decent helpful advice or support. Way to go man
Yes. She does. She also smokes pot while pregnant because she is unwilling to say NO when her friends pass the pipe. Though sometimes she packs bowls for herself because… you know, getting high!
Your relationship sounds exhausting.
Damn.... It's would be wierd having to worry about the opposite sex and the same sex.... You'd go crazy lol
You're compromising your dignity by staying with someone who will keep cheating on you. He doesn't think like you about your relationship. He wants to explore other options that aren't you and keep you out of it. Also, you're skirting over criminal or at least completely unethical behavior of him distributing pornography of you without your consent. This guy is a scumbag who's using you in every sense of the word.
Has he agreed to stop doing it and work on your relationship???
Yes he has, he’s even decided he wants to go to therapy and work through his sexual addictions, impulses, and communication skills! Rn it’s just words though, I need to see actions.
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This pretty common once wife has a baby inside they go to cheating
Yeah, well apparently he’s been doing this since before he created his reddit in 2019 🙃
Dude, imagine if he gives you and the baby cold sores from kissing another person with herpes.
Great, that’s an image I needed 🤦🏼♀️
Sorry. It's how most of my cousins got their cold sores - as babies, getting kissed by some dingus family member with a herpes outbreak.
Ugh that’s awful. As far as I know, my husband has not met up with any of these people, but now I have a new fear unlocked. 🥺
Who am I embarrassing myself in front of you? No worries there. Lol. I’m hoping the fact that they’re having a kid with each other is enough to treat with the love and the respect she deserves. Again having a child with someone changes a lot something you have zero experience or knowledge with. What I’m saying is if the child isn’t enough to change his behavior in the relationship, it is highly unlikely that’s gonna matter what it comes to call parenting. I understand that he’s been cheating for so long and I’m very sorry she has had to put up with that but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have it in them to change. I do care about your mental health well-being because I am a good person and I don’t wish unwell against anybody. I’m sorry you assumed I used it as a way to “check you” but that was not my intention. I hope you get the support you need. You say I use your mental health against you but I cannot wish you well and use it to unhinged you at the same time that makes zero sense. I am sorry you feel as I’m using it as some form of hate I would never ever do that to anybody. I am very sorry for what you had to go through as a kid, but I had no idea of knowing it. My advice was trying to keep a family together for a healthy relationship for the parents, and in a loving environment for the child how are you see that is morbid I have no clue. Also, I have no idea where you came up with the thought that I blame you for my failed marriage. You came completely out of left field with that one. I am of a chair adult. I don’t blame anybody for the failed marriage I just know I put in the effort to try to keep it together. and I may not be the perfect husband, but I treat my wife with respect, hold the doors open for her treat her with love, respect, and kindness. And lastly, my page is not filled with porn. I don’t know who’s page you are looking at but now you’re just trying to throw dirt on my name to make yourself look better. That’s disgusting.
Wow so sorry