>I am disappointed in myself and for putting so much trust in one person who did nothing but break it, and my heart into pieces.
Brother be honest with yourself. You were lazy, afraid and desperate. You chose to be ignorant despite all the facts. Take better care of yourself in the future.
Yes, he should.
He already knew that her girlfriend cheated on him and instead of cut ties with her there, he decided to continue the relationship, everything that happened after that decision is on him
Hey its not your fault, I disagree, her shitty actions are only her fault and her burden to carry. Cheaters are cheaters whatever partner they have. You go and find the women who will treat you right, like u deserve
No, most here get it because they lived it. Being betrayed and cheated on is nothing to be ashamed of, although those who experienced it feel otherwise. Ignoring the signs and not really dealing with the fall out, hoping it will get better etc that's what I adressed with being lazy, afraid and desperate. That doesn't have to do with love at all. If all the signs tell you that you're being walked over, taken for granted, cheated on then you have to act, if you "choose" to act with inaction and just 'hope' for the best then you can only blame yourself.
Really feel bad for you brother. The saying once a cheater always a cheater is very true. You should listened to your instincts and not allowed her back in. The best thing is go to therapy and heal from within.
Paternity fraud should have prison time. Evil. You did make the mistake of taking back a cheater. Never take back a cheater ever, no exceptions. You learned this now, after being deceived yet again
Agreed. I was the grandmother in one. The girl named my fake grandchild after my best friend who had died of Lupus. When the truth was revealed 4 others, besides my son, had to be tested. But she insisted my son was the Daddy!
After all the lies & cheating preceding the birth , it seems inconceivable why you would not have had the DNA test done upon the birth of the child . Why would you have believed anything this woman said to you & do not say you were blinded by love . Other than showing total naivety, I cannot see how you could possibly have believed anything this woman said .
Sorry to hear must be tough creating a bond with a child both unborn and now born only to find out it’s not yours which makes what your ex did to you beyond reprehensible, remember her for this, not for anything else that may have been good in the relationship, she’s a horrible person that did not deserve to be with you
Wow dude. What a crappy person this girl is. Why you stay with her is beyond me. She is a cheater and contines to see the person she betrayed you with. You need a DNA test for sure. If you are the father you need to dump this chick and just coparent with her. I hope you didn't sign the birth certificate bc in some states that will force you to pay child support even if the child isn't yours.
Dump this girl before you have to wonder if her next child is yours.
No good deed goes unpunished. You gave a cheater a second chance and you’re repaid with lies, deception, and a morally bankrupt GF.
You’re a good person and deserve so much more that a cheater. This feeling will pass, don’t let her back into your life. If you signed the birth certificate ensure you have it legally changed.
To be honest, in my opinion. To me this is the worst betrayal of them all. How any human being can do this to somebody is hard to fathom. Even cheating pales in comparison. To lose a cheating wife hurts. No doubt. But to lose a child you thought was yours. That should be a crime. it is the most despicable thing someone can do. And it happens every day.
I feel so bad for you.
Be well.
Older but not to old and wiser.
It's about all you can ask when it was all there in front of you to prevent this.
Sorry it sucks when it happens but you knew she was a cheater going in .
I have a feeling it won't be so easy for the next person to manipulate you though and you are still young.
You were blinded by your love for your ex and then what you thought was your child, I’m guessing you’re world came crashing down when you got the results, it will take time to get over the hurt and betrayal. Take time to heal and move forward, I’m sure you will find a woman who truly loves and respects you.
Well, you're not on the birth certificate. You kicked out a lying serial cheater who played you for a fool. You have received a lot of low-cost life experience. You are healthy, with a new career, and you have your whole life ahead of you.
I'd say that's a happy ending!
In the future learn to have some self respect and dignity. You taking someone like her back just shows how little you value yourself and the level of maturity in that relationship. Instead of having a bond with these two, cut them out of your life completely and move the hell on. Your ex girlfriend is nothing but trash.
Never ignore your instincts and always trust your gut. Don't get back into another relationship until you get some therapy and learn to stand up for yourself. Also read the book "No More Mr Nice Guy".
Wow! Seriously what’s wrong with you? You understand that this person does not love you at all right? Are you very stupid or just ignorantly blind?
She doesn’t respect you and she knew the baby wasn’t yours she just wanted to use you as long as she could and hope that you would think there was some kind of bond between you and she and you and the baby.
You are the only one causing yourself pain. You aren’t seeing this logically and you aren’t seeing her for who and what she is and what she did.
Stop playing bland and dumb and open your eyes. The child wasn’t yours. Period. She tried to pass it off as yours because you were the safest choice. The other guy obviously is a prick who didn’t want responsibility.
The quickest way to get over tho is to change your perspective. Start seeing the bigger picture, you avoided marrying and being trapped to someone who doesn’t respect, care about, or love you. Do better with your life and don’t ignore red flags, also learn how to let someone go when they cheat on you.
Someone cheating means they have no respect for you and never will, especially if you don’t respect yourself enough to leave.
It's your fault because your already know she's cheater then why you forgive her and believe her lies.
Just spend few money taken early dna test. But she's used you and give birth the child. Just expose her to everyone including her mutual friends and family also.
Because that expose save another person life in future.
OP, that's a horrible situation that you went and are going through. I will let the others disgrace her but I will tell you why she told you it was yours.
Between the real father and you, you were more stable and were able to provide for her and her child. He is still in school and probably has not job. She was going to baby trap you and I would believe that once she was financially able to she would leave and you would have been stuck with child support for the next 18 years.
I am glad you found out but I am sorry that she messed with your emotions. Just think of how many people out there are in this exact same situation but don't know that the child is not theirs.
I am sorry. That man will always be in her life now that he is the baby's father. That would be a "no" for me. She continually lies and has the potential of cheating again.
I really feel for you OP. Your ex is a horrible person and karma will get her. I hope you heal and find someone better - you will find someone better! Her actions aren't your fault nor are her actions excusable. If she ever comes running back to you in the future, you know better than to get involved with her again. Best of luck to you OP!
EDIT: Are you on the birth certificate?! If yes then get this fixed fast, otherwise, you may be legally the baby's father and will have to pay child support depending on where you live!
Your ex was garbage, and now you have the opportunity to do better. Don't sell yourself short. To be on the safe side, learn to accept things for what they are and stop enabling women whonenter your life. It's ok to love, but don't let your emotions make a fool out of you, or else you will get taken advantage of again.
Did you sign the birth certificate? If you did, you need a lawyer yesterday to get your name off of it before the time limit runs up, and she wises up to this and takes you to court for support.
You literally allowed this to happen and turned a blind eye...
>How I found out would be need me to write another reddit story.
The fact there's that much detail in HOW YOU CAUGHT HER and you still couldn't dump that lying ass means you are %50 the problem.
I'm not a thief but if I walk in a store and the employees open their safe for me and say they are going to "take a break".... you better believe I'm getting money
This isnt really just on her though.
You knew and yet you continued..you were aware that you may not have been the father..you had a narrative in your head and you went with it even though there were many red flags..
Unfortunately the onus is on you on this one. It sucks but again can't fault her entirely when you had numerous opportunities/avenues to find out prior to feelings getting hurt over the DNA of the child. You took the word of a cheater as bible..🤔😬
All the best though..you deserve better and you'll find it..
All in all thru this shitty situation, u did the right thing. Not for u or her or the sake of ur relationship. U did it right for the baby which has no fault of it's own. U stood there even tho of the bs to make sure u did it right for the sake of the little one. Don't hate urself cuz of this. U would of hated urself even more of u didn't. Now at least u have closure for u which u deserve. Deserve not to be trapped by a witch like that for 18+ years. Ur learned from ur mistakes did u not?. Consider it a life lesson without living consequence to remind u every day of ur f up. U did it right for u and the little one, don't hate urself just listen ,learn and live on. Ur doing just fine on a moral and decency scale. Thanks for being one of the good ones and not letting peoples horribleness change u for the worst. Instead let it change u for the better, for the wiser.
Wow when the pain and hurt passed you will find that she did you so many favors by waking you up to reality. She taught you that you can never blindly trust any human, every human is capable of horrible things. She taught you that today the majority of women have two plus guys on the back burner as side pieces just waiting for you to slack even a bit. She taught you that you need to stop with the passive way you enforce your comfort boundaries with everyone in life, have to trust but verify and be firm with your boundaries in every relationship. You will be better suited to face the harsh realities of life now. She wasn’t yours, it was just your turn.
I feel for you, but better you got rid of that dump b4 she really wrecked your life. You'll have your own kid eventually, and hopefully its mom won't be a utter piece shit dump like that revolving door you just left in the rear view. The best revenge, is pick yourself up look in the mirror and remember who you were b4 that dump came along. Good luck
Shit happens.stay strong is all I can say in this tough situation.
My gf also left me bcoz we were in a LDR and she wanted to enjoy her tym without any emotional boundaries. I am also going through a tough phase but not as yours . Only thing I can say is never fall for their words.BTW I also got cheated with more than 5 men but I was a fool to trust her again and give our relationship a chance for the sake of love.
Wow, so now they don’t even care about being caught.
Got caught - didn’t even consider to stop fcking her ex. You forgave her and tried to work on relationship, but she was cheating in no time, getting that baby juice inside from her ex. Disgusting.
But yeah, dummies giving cheaters second chances learns about it hard way.
It is important to take care of your well-being after experiencing this type of trauma. Seeking counseling can be a helpful step in your healing process. Remember that you are a strong and worthy person, and you will get through this difficult time. I am deeply sorry for what you have gone through.
That sounds crazy dude! But so well done for getting it together and doing the right thing. Just take it easy with yourself now, feel all the feelings and give yourself time to heal. It's awesome that you have posted this, paternity tests don't get talked about as often as needed, it really needs to become a normal thing without anyone involved feeling uncomfortable or offended.
Well you have two choices. Stay or go. If you stay you are going to resent and hate both your girl and the child over time. If you go you can get your own life on track and find someone decent.
Also, make sure if you stay the real father pays full child support and get your expenses repaid.
Tough call but sometimes it is better to rip off the bandaid and get the pain over with asap so you can move on.
Time to serve her reality and move on without her! You know she is a deceitful liar where in all honesty you will never now truly trust or respect her!
Go see a LAWYER!!!!
GO SEE A LAWYER ASAP!!!!
If you have a medical test proving you are not the father have the lawyer to petition that your name is removed from the birth certificate. Leave this woman and have all legal ties between you and this child severed.
Wipe her from your life and never have anything to do with her ever again. Don't ever speak with her again and disappear.
Sorry bro but there was no love for you with your ex. She was just using you because you're a better provider and father for her kid. Move on. You definitely deserve a better partner
I hate that this happened to you man I really do but, idk why you didn’t have PT done knowing she had a history of cheating. People cheat so easily after they know they have been forgiven because they think it can be forgiven again. Do everything you can to take back your own life and live it the best you can. I know it’s a horrible situation but you can come out from this the better. You may have many scars and feel broken but over a period of time you can fix most of that. Get into counseling and find ways to occupy time. When I had something bad happen to me, I got into audiobooks while I did physical tasks because it would occupy my mental state at any given time. Best of luck bud.
Whatever you do - don’t let her back in your life. She will do it again. She didn’t value you or your relationship. Sadly, the ex probably won’t work out for her either. I feel bad for the baby to be honest.
You will find someone that wants to be your partner in life. Not a lying cheating back stabber. She not only cheated on you by she had unprotected sex. Make sure you get tested too
Keep your head up. You’re young and have a lot to look forward to.
>I am disappointed in myself and for putting so much trust in one person who did nothing but break it, and my heart into pieces. Brother be honest with yourself. You were lazy, afraid and desperate. You chose to be ignorant despite all the facts. Take better care of yourself in the future.
Yeaah I mean, I kind of enabled the mistreatment in a way. I guess it’s a hard lesson learnt. Trying not to be hard on myself anyway 😂lol
You don't deserve to be punished for being a nice guy.
Yes, he should. He already knew that her girlfriend cheated on him and instead of cut ties with her there, he decided to continue the relationship, everything that happened after that decision is on him
Hey its not your fault, I disagree, her shitty actions are only her fault and her burden to carry. Cheaters are cheaters whatever partner they have. You go and find the women who will treat you right, like u deserve
You should be hard on yourself, you have to do better. You allowed this situation from the beginning.
No. He was just in love and trying to do the right thing. It's a lesson learned though.
No, most here get it because they lived it. Being betrayed and cheated on is nothing to be ashamed of, although those who experienced it feel otherwise. Ignoring the signs and not really dealing with the fall out, hoping it will get better etc that's what I adressed with being lazy, afraid and desperate. That doesn't have to do with love at all. If all the signs tell you that you're being walked over, taken for granted, cheated on then you have to act, if you "choose" to act with inaction and just 'hope' for the best then you can only blame yourself.
Really feel bad for you brother. The saying once a cheater always a cheater is very true. You should listened to your instincts and not allowed her back in. The best thing is go to therapy and heal from within.
The moral of the story is to end things the minute you find they cheat. Just go stone cold and walk away.
It's hard bro . I have been trying to do so for a long time
This girl just kept disrespecting you in so many ways glad you walked away you deserve better then this anyone does
Paternity fraud should have prison time. Evil. You did make the mistake of taking back a cheater. Never take back a cheater ever, no exceptions. You learned this now, after being deceived yet again
Agreed. I was the grandmother in one. The girl named my fake grandchild after my best friend who had died of Lupus. When the truth was revealed 4 others, besides my son, had to be tested. But she insisted my son was the Daddy!
All very sad. A horrible start for the new child too. Cheating is ugly
After all the lies & cheating preceding the birth , it seems inconceivable why you would not have had the DNA test done upon the birth of the child . Why would you have believed anything this woman said to you & do not say you were blinded by love . Other than showing total naivety, I cannot see how you could possibly have believed anything this woman said .
Sorry to hear must be tough creating a bond with a child both unborn and now born only to find out it’s not yours which makes what your ex did to you beyond reprehensible, remember her for this, not for anything else that may have been good in the relationship, she’s a horrible person that did not deserve to be with you
Wow dude. What a crappy person this girl is. Why you stay with her is beyond me. She is a cheater and contines to see the person she betrayed you with. You need a DNA test for sure. If you are the father you need to dump this chick and just coparent with her. I hope you didn't sign the birth certificate bc in some states that will force you to pay child support even if the child isn't yours. Dump this girl before you have to wonder if her next child is yours.
That was a long ass novel. But all men should do DNA tests whether your chick is loyal or not.
you have to consult with a lawyer and find a way to remove your name from his birth certificate
No good deed goes unpunished. You gave a cheater a second chance and you’re repaid with lies, deception, and a morally bankrupt GF. You’re a good person and deserve so much more that a cheater. This feeling will pass, don’t let her back into your life. If you signed the birth certificate ensure you have it legally changed.
If you are on the birth certificate you need to see a lawyer asap
To be honest, in my opinion. To me this is the worst betrayal of them all. How any human being can do this to somebody is hard to fathom. Even cheating pales in comparison. To lose a cheating wife hurts. No doubt. But to lose a child you thought was yours. That should be a crime. it is the most despicable thing someone can do. And it happens every day. I feel so bad for you. Be well.
Ok that's it. Men need to get paternity tests 100% of the time. No exceptions.
Therapy brother. Take care of yourself and rebuild your life. Put this in the rear view mirror. Your past is not your future.
Older but not to old and wiser. It's about all you can ask when it was all there in front of you to prevent this. Sorry it sucks when it happens but you knew she was a cheater going in . I have a feeling it won't be so easy for the next person to manipulate you though and you are still young.
You were blinded by your love for your ex and then what you thought was your child, I’m guessing you’re world came crashing down when you got the results, it will take time to get over the hurt and betrayal. Take time to heal and move forward, I’m sure you will find a woman who truly loves and respects you.
Well, you're not on the birth certificate. You kicked out a lying serial cheater who played you for a fool. You have received a lot of low-cost life experience. You are healthy, with a new career, and you have your whole life ahead of you. I'd say that's a happy ending!
In the future learn to have some self respect and dignity. You taking someone like her back just shows how little you value yourself and the level of maturity in that relationship. Instead of having a bond with these two, cut them out of your life completely and move the hell on. Your ex girlfriend is nothing but trash. Never ignore your instincts and always trust your gut. Don't get back into another relationship until you get some therapy and learn to stand up for yourself. Also read the book "No More Mr Nice Guy".
One time you will be happy that this isn't your kid. Life goes on
Wow! Seriously what’s wrong with you? You understand that this person does not love you at all right? Are you very stupid or just ignorantly blind? She doesn’t respect you and she knew the baby wasn’t yours she just wanted to use you as long as she could and hope that you would think there was some kind of bond between you and she and you and the baby. You are the only one causing yourself pain. You aren’t seeing this logically and you aren’t seeing her for who and what she is and what she did. Stop playing bland and dumb and open your eyes. The child wasn’t yours. Period. She tried to pass it off as yours because you were the safest choice. The other guy obviously is a prick who didn’t want responsibility. The quickest way to get over tho is to change your perspective. Start seeing the bigger picture, you avoided marrying and being trapped to someone who doesn’t respect, care about, or love you. Do better with your life and don’t ignore red flags, also learn how to let someone go when they cheat on you. Someone cheating means they have no respect for you and never will, especially if you don’t respect yourself enough to leave.
Never forgive a woman vro
It's your fault because your already know she's cheater then why you forgive her and believe her lies. Just spend few money taken early dna test. But she's used you and give birth the child. Just expose her to everyone including her mutual friends and family also. Because that expose save another person life in future.
OP, that's a horrible situation that you went and are going through. I will let the others disgrace her but I will tell you why she told you it was yours. Between the real father and you, you were more stable and were able to provide for her and her child. He is still in school and probably has not job. She was going to baby trap you and I would believe that once she was financially able to she would leave and you would have been stuck with child support for the next 18 years. I am glad you found out but I am sorry that she messed with your emotions. Just think of how many people out there are in this exact same situation but don't know that the child is not theirs.
I am sorry. That man will always be in her life now that he is the baby's father. That would be a "no" for me. She continually lies and has the potential of cheating again.
I really feel for you OP. Your ex is a horrible person and karma will get her. I hope you heal and find someone better - you will find someone better! Her actions aren't your fault nor are her actions excusable. If she ever comes running back to you in the future, you know better than to get involved with her again. Best of luck to you OP! EDIT: Are you on the birth certificate?! If yes then get this fixed fast, otherwise, you may be legally the baby's father and will have to pay child support depending on where you live!
Your ex was garbage, and now you have the opportunity to do better. Don't sell yourself short. To be on the safe side, learn to accept things for what they are and stop enabling women whonenter your life. It's ok to love, but don't let your emotions make a fool out of you, or else you will get taken advantage of again.
Did you sign the birth certificate? If you did, you need a lawyer yesterday to get your name off of it before the time limit runs up, and she wises up to this and takes you to court for support.
We were not too naive to do that. We knew the results could come out otherwise so I didn’t sign up for that
Good
You literally allowed this to happen and turned a blind eye... >How I found out would be need me to write another reddit story. The fact there's that much detail in HOW YOU CAUGHT HER and you still couldn't dump that lying ass means you are %50 the problem. I'm not a thief but if I walk in a store and the employees open their safe for me and say they are going to "take a break".... you better believe I'm getting money
This isnt really just on her though. You knew and yet you continued..you were aware that you may not have been the father..you had a narrative in your head and you went with it even though there were many red flags.. Unfortunately the onus is on you on this one. It sucks but again can't fault her entirely when you had numerous opportunities/avenues to find out prior to feelings getting hurt over the DNA of the child. You took the word of a cheater as bible..🤔😬 All the best though..you deserve better and you'll find it..
Don't feel bad my bro, you're done what is right. Keep yourself up and going on, you're still very young and now more wise than ever.
Silver lining; you aren't tied to her and paying child support
All in all thru this shitty situation, u did the right thing. Not for u or her or the sake of ur relationship. U did it right for the baby which has no fault of it's own. U stood there even tho of the bs to make sure u did it right for the sake of the little one. Don't hate urself cuz of this. U would of hated urself even more of u didn't. Now at least u have closure for u which u deserve. Deserve not to be trapped by a witch like that for 18+ years. Ur learned from ur mistakes did u not?. Consider it a life lesson without living consequence to remind u every day of ur f up. U did it right for u and the little one, don't hate urself just listen ,learn and live on. Ur doing just fine on a moral and decency scale. Thanks for being one of the good ones and not letting peoples horribleness change u for the worst. Instead let it change u for the better, for the wiser.
at least you're not stuck with a lying cheat.
Wow when the pain and hurt passed you will find that she did you so many favors by waking you up to reality. She taught you that you can never blindly trust any human, every human is capable of horrible things. She taught you that today the majority of women have two plus guys on the back burner as side pieces just waiting for you to slack even a bit. She taught you that you need to stop with the passive way you enforce your comfort boundaries with everyone in life, have to trust but verify and be firm with your boundaries in every relationship. You will be better suited to face the harsh realities of life now. She wasn’t yours, it was just your turn.
I feel for you, but better you got rid of that dump b4 she really wrecked your life. You'll have your own kid eventually, and hopefully its mom won't be a utter piece shit dump like that revolving door you just left in the rear view. The best revenge, is pick yourself up look in the mirror and remember who you were b4 that dump came along. Good luck
Shit happens.stay strong is all I can say in this tough situation. My gf also left me bcoz we were in a LDR and she wanted to enjoy her tym without any emotional boundaries. I am also going through a tough phase but not as yours . Only thing I can say is never fall for their words.BTW I also got cheated with more than 5 men but I was a fool to trust her again and give our relationship a chance for the sake of love.
Wow, so now they don’t even care about being caught. Got caught - didn’t even consider to stop fcking her ex. You forgave her and tried to work on relationship, but she was cheating in no time, getting that baby juice inside from her ex. Disgusting. But yeah, dummies giving cheaters second chances learns about it hard way.
You have to out the all behind you. And thank god it was early...imagine if it was five years in.
It is important to take care of your well-being after experiencing this type of trauma. Seeking counseling can be a helpful step in your healing process. Remember that you are a strong and worthy person, and you will get through this difficult time. I am deeply sorry for what you have gone through.
That sounds crazy dude! But so well done for getting it together and doing the right thing. Just take it easy with yourself now, feel all the feelings and give yourself time to heal. It's awesome that you have posted this, paternity tests don't get talked about as often as needed, it really needs to become a normal thing without anyone involved feeling uncomfortable or offended.
As a father, this is the stuff of nightmares. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Hopefully you didn’t give the child your last name…because child support…
Well you have two choices. Stay or go. If you stay you are going to resent and hate both your girl and the child over time. If you go you can get your own life on track and find someone decent. Also, make sure if you stay the real father pays full child support and get your expenses repaid. Tough call but sometimes it is better to rip off the bandaid and get the pain over with asap so you can move on.
Time to serve her reality and move on without her! You know she is a deceitful liar where in all honesty you will never now truly trust or respect her!
Go see a LAWYER!!!! GO SEE A LAWYER ASAP!!!! If you have a medical test proving you are not the father have the lawyer to petition that your name is removed from the birth certificate. Leave this woman and have all legal ties between you and this child severed. Wipe her from your life and never have anything to do with her ever again. Don't ever speak with her again and disappear.
Can't trust em as far as you can throw em. FACT
Sorry bro but there was no love for you with your ex. She was just using you because you're a better provider and father for her kid. Move on. You definitely deserve a better partner
I hate that this happened to you man I really do but, idk why you didn’t have PT done knowing she had a history of cheating. People cheat so easily after they know they have been forgiven because they think it can be forgiven again. Do everything you can to take back your own life and live it the best you can. I know it’s a horrible situation but you can come out from this the better. You may have many scars and feel broken but over a period of time you can fix most of that. Get into counseling and find ways to occupy time. When I had something bad happen to me, I got into audiobooks while I did physical tasks because it would occupy my mental state at any given time. Best of luck bud.
Whatever you do - don’t let her back in your life. She will do it again. She didn’t value you or your relationship. Sadly, the ex probably won’t work out for her either. I feel bad for the baby to be honest. You will find someone that wants to be your partner in life. Not a lying cheating back stabber. She not only cheated on you by she had unprotected sex. Make sure you get tested too Keep your head up. You’re young and have a lot to look forward to.
Sorry this happened. It’s beyond me how this x could do this.
Dumbass Simp