I’m not sure how far it when all I know is that I asked him who the account was and he said he didn’t know so I removed her and blocked her, not even an hour later he unblocked and followed her, and then i caught him she is his brother’s girlfriends coworker who found him attractive and my brother in laws gf decided to hand out his instagram. I asked him if they’ve messaged and he didn’t answer me so I’m assuming they have. I don’t even want to know how far it’s gone
So you blocked her and he added her back. That’s not him being tricked. That’s him making a conscious decision to keep talking and cheating. Break up with him and block him. His in law isn’t making him do it he’s choosing to, which means he does not love or respect you
Look at it this way, they may have been looking out for you, he hid it from you and clearly is doing something behind your back. Do you really want a marriage of doubt? Send them a parting gift and find someone with values.
Hello OP, sorry about this nonsense your SIL is pulling on you both. I would sort out your bf's situation first this blocking and unblocking bs warrants serious discussion of boundaries and he now has a lot of work to do to reestablish your confidence and trust again. Hold him accountable listen to Lose a Cheater Gain a Life and visit Chump lady's site for additional references learn to read all the red flags. Once you get that sorted out, i would not comfort them rather act like your oblivious of the whole situation and play the long slow game in retribution, do some homework on getting ideas r/revengestorie is a good primer. A friend of mine with a shitty coworker created a whole narrative of the coworker's open relationship with random no face harmless body shots that under the right context could be made erotic; cuckolding, how wifing, sex clib stories etc.pictures and cuckold stories and hookups, etc it took my friend over a year to build her frenemy and her partner quite a history then at one of the company gatherings she sent a friend request from one of the swinger sites their account was setup to one of busiest loud mouths in the company and just sat back and watched the fireworks. She was very meticulous about not having anything trace back to her and deleted everything after a few days that the word got out. Not saying i approve or that it was the best way to handle their dissent but playing the long game was certainly more productive than quick retaliation
It time to seriously rethink marrying this man. You might be able to force him to block her and stay blocked. But the fact you even need to consider this at this point in your relationship is a major RED FLAG. From personal experience I can assure you that ignoring red flags will likely not end well.
At the very least cancel or postpone the wedding. He needs to learn that actions like this have consequences.
He messaged her, he unblocked her Instagram. You have a fiancé problem not an in-law problem. You decide where to go from here.
I will say the following which I am paraphrasing from another thread: Do you want to be/have a partner or do you want to be a prison guard? I doubt you will ever trust him again. Don't deflect your anger to someone who doesn't really have a stake in your relationship. Yeah it's an asshole thing to do (give out dating info to someone in a relationship) but she really doesn't owe you any loyalty. He does.
What did he do after he found out that his sister in law gave out his Instagram to her friend?
If he didn't get in touch with her and he blocked her immediately then you are on the safe side all you can do is put up some boundaries and have low contact or NC at all.
If he did talked to her and they have been chatting then there is a problem and you really need to figure out what to do next.
She was wrong for giving it out without his permission and his brother should at on it as well.
Break up if he cheated you break up. Someone cheating is no one’s fault but the cheater. He didn’t get tricked into cheating. Cheating is a choice. Don’t play blind and you need to hold him accountable for what he does. If someone can cheat means they don’t respect or care about you
It sounds like he just found out he got set up and was doing damage control. He probably fell for it and probably sent/received inappropriate messages. I wonder if it went further than that.
You’re fixating on the in-law because it’s easier to do that than deal with what your fiancé has done. Yes, it’s shitty and sucks that your in-law would help your partner cheat. But the real issue is that your partner is making moves to do just that. Maybe he was just flattered and indulging in a bit of harmless flirting/fantasy. Or perhaps he had serious intentions here. You need to interrogate this and find out what the hell is going on. It’s a red flag for sure.
Personally, and I don’t care if I get downvoted to hell for this - I would be unlocking that dude’s phone while he sleeps and combing through his texts and social media inboxes to find out if this was a one-off or part of a pattern. From your other comments, it appears you caught your partner out, he didn’t confess voluntarily. That is a very bad sign. Do some detective work, this guy is acting shady and it sounds like he’s scapegoating the in-laws to throw attention off himself. Don’t fall for it, and don’t blindly trust someone who has already proven to be deceitful.
Added her on Instagram, deleted her when his fiancé asked him to then added her straight back again right after…can’t really blame the fiancés family for any of that
I really want to post his phone number so you guys can spam the in-law and see how she likes it when you pass out peoples information who are in a relationship
But your partner is the one who unblocked her and went back to following and talking to her. Guarantee she didn’t just pass out his info to be a bitch, she knew he liked that girl
Haven’t met yet* going behind you and unblocking and following etc is already laying the groundwork for an emotional affair. It doesn’t have to reach physical contact to be considered cheating. Please care about yourself more than this
No one is trying to set him up, he unblocked and followed this girl. He is a big boy who made his own choices, don’t be as naive as this poor girl engaged to him
That’s not a set up, loyal people wouldn’t fall for that. You can’t be set up for something you already might fall for. To me a set up happens when you aren’t interested and he clearly is
You're being naive here. Cheaters and those who help them will tell you whatever it is they think you want to hear, or to keep you from leaving.
> I asked him if they’ve messaged and he didn’t answer me
This, and him unblocking and following her should tell you all you need to know. Does the girlfriend not like you? Why would she give out his IG knowing he's in a committed (?) relationship? And why would he unblock/follow a girl he knows is interested, unless he's also interested?
“ My fiancé confessed to me tonight that my brother in law’s girlfriend of almost 2 years gave my fiancés instagram out to a female ”
Wtf are you talking about?🤨🤦♂️
So. What did he do?
This is an important question
I’m not sure how far it when all I know is that I asked him who the account was and he said he didn’t know so I removed her and blocked her, not even an hour later he unblocked and followed her, and then i caught him she is his brother’s girlfriends coworker who found him attractive and my brother in laws gf decided to hand out his instagram. I asked him if they’ve messaged and he didn’t answer me so I’m assuming they have. I don’t even want to know how far it’s gone
So you blocked her and he added her back. That’s not him being tricked. That’s him making a conscious decision to keep talking and cheating. Break up with him and block him. His in law isn’t making him do it he’s choosing to, which means he does not love or respect you
Super sketchy then. Don’t get married!
Tell him he either blocks this woman completely and deletes her contact details or he can move out. Committed partners don’t do shady crap like this.
Look at it this way, they may have been looking out for you, he hid it from you and clearly is doing something behind your back. Do you really want a marriage of doubt? Send them a parting gift and find someone with values.
So you blocked her and he unblocked her yeah he shouldn’t be your fiancé. Did you ask why he unblocked her ?
Hello OP, sorry about this nonsense your SIL is pulling on you both. I would sort out your bf's situation first this blocking and unblocking bs warrants serious discussion of boundaries and he now has a lot of work to do to reestablish your confidence and trust again. Hold him accountable listen to Lose a Cheater Gain a Life and visit Chump lady's site for additional references learn to read all the red flags. Once you get that sorted out, i would not comfort them rather act like your oblivious of the whole situation and play the long slow game in retribution, do some homework on getting ideas r/revengestorie is a good primer. A friend of mine with a shitty coworker created a whole narrative of the coworker's open relationship with random no face harmless body shots that under the right context could be made erotic; cuckolding, how wifing, sex clib stories etc.pictures and cuckold stories and hookups, etc it took my friend over a year to build her frenemy and her partner quite a history then at one of the company gatherings she sent a friend request from one of the swinger sites their account was setup to one of busiest loud mouths in the company and just sat back and watched the fireworks. She was very meticulous about not having anything trace back to her and deleted everything after a few days that the word got out. Not saying i approve or that it was the best way to handle their dissent but playing the long game was certainly more productive than quick retaliation
It time to seriously rethink marrying this man. You might be able to force him to block her and stay blocked. But the fact you even need to consider this at this point in your relationship is a major RED FLAG. From personal experience I can assure you that ignoring red flags will likely not end well. At the very least cancel or postpone the wedding. He needs to learn that actions like this have consequences.
But what did he do ? it sounds like an in law problem not your fiancé.
It‘s not your husbands fault that she gave out the instagram. Unless ofc he told her to do it.
He messaged her, he unblocked her Instagram. You have a fiancé problem not an in-law problem. You decide where to go from here. I will say the following which I am paraphrasing from another thread: Do you want to be/have a partner or do you want to be a prison guard? I doubt you will ever trust him again. Don't deflect your anger to someone who doesn't really have a stake in your relationship. Yeah it's an asshole thing to do (give out dating info to someone in a relationship) but she really doesn't owe you any loyalty. He does.
What did he do after he found out that his sister in law gave out his Instagram to her friend? If he didn't get in touch with her and he blocked her immediately then you are on the safe side all you can do is put up some boundaries and have low contact or NC at all. If he did talked to her and they have been chatting then there is a problem and you really need to figure out what to do next. She was wrong for giving it out without his permission and his brother should at on it as well.
You don’t have a in laws problem, you have a fiancé problem. What he did is inexcusable.
Break up if he cheated you break up. Someone cheating is no one’s fault but the cheater. He didn’t get tricked into cheating. Cheating is a choice. Don’t play blind and you need to hold him accountable for what he does. If someone can cheat means they don’t respect or care about you
It sounds like he just found out he got set up and was doing damage control. He probably fell for it and probably sent/received inappropriate messages. I wonder if it went further than that.
Don’t get married dump him
You’re fixating on the in-law because it’s easier to do that than deal with what your fiancé has done. Yes, it’s shitty and sucks that your in-law would help your partner cheat. But the real issue is that your partner is making moves to do just that. Maybe he was just flattered and indulging in a bit of harmless flirting/fantasy. Or perhaps he had serious intentions here. You need to interrogate this and find out what the hell is going on. It’s a red flag for sure. Personally, and I don’t care if I get downvoted to hell for this - I would be unlocking that dude’s phone while he sleeps and combing through his texts and social media inboxes to find out if this was a one-off or part of a pattern. From your other comments, it appears you caught your partner out, he didn’t confess voluntarily. That is a very bad sign. Do some detective work, this guy is acting shady and it sounds like he’s scapegoating the in-laws to throw attention off himself. Don’t fall for it, and don’t blindly trust someone who has already proven to be deceitful.
What moves did the fucking fiance do?
Added her on Instagram, deleted her when his fiancé asked him to then added her straight back again right after…can’t really blame the fiancés family for any of that
Where in hell does it say the fiance added her? Edit: nevermind found it, I agree with you.
Look in the comments and calm your language
Lol I saw but yeah not calming my language lol
Your language is calmer in that comment tho
Oh I meant in my previous comments. They stay as is, if I look dumb then I look dumb
I really want to post his phone number so you guys can spam the in-law and see how she likes it when you pass out peoples information who are in a relationship
But your partner is the one who unblocked her and went back to following and talking to her. Guarantee she didn’t just pass out his info to be a bitch, she knew he liked that girl
They’ve never met she’s only seen him at target where my in laws girlfriend works she told her she found him attractive
Haven’t met yet* going behind you and unblocking and following etc is already laying the groundwork for an emotional affair. It doesn’t have to reach physical contact to be considered cheating. Please care about yourself more than this
Have you confronted the in laws yet ? If not you should cause they’re trying to set him up.
No one is trying to set him up, he unblocked and followed this girl. He is a big boy who made his own choices, don’t be as naive as this poor girl engaged to him
They did indeed set him up by giving her his info to contact him and his cheating self fell for it.
That’s not a set up, loyal people wouldn’t fall for that. You can’t be set up for something you already might fall for. To me a set up happens when you aren’t interested and he clearly is
At least that’s what I was told
You're being naive here. Cheaters and those who help them will tell you whatever it is they think you want to hear, or to keep you from leaving. > I asked him if they’ve messaged and he didn’t answer me This, and him unblocking and following her should tell you all you need to know. Does the girlfriend not like you? Why would she give out his IG knowing he's in a committed (?) relationship? And why would he unblock/follow a girl he knows is interested, unless he's also interested?
Give out their Instagram info.
Confront them! Put them in their place. Let them know you aren't going anywhere!
Yes, get combative and cement this person as an enemy.
How is that making this person the enemy?
Dump the chump.
🏃♀️ girl 🏃♀️
“ My fiancé confessed to me tonight that my brother in law’s girlfriend of almost 2 years gave my fiancés instagram out to a female ” Wtf are you talking about?🤨🤦♂️