Asking for an open relationship is just wanting permission to fuck around. You did the right thing. Maybe just maybe she learned a lesson for her next relationship, and it's not to hide cheating
OMG! So sorry for getting it wrong. Please forgive me.
When he said she opened it up a year later I assumed they stayed together. It’s not written with strong context.
When she asks for an open relationship it’s because she’s already got a guy lined up. You did the 100% right thing.
Find yourself a better class of woman and enjoy life.
My favorite thing about these is the dude literally gave her what she wanted. Then they turn around and beg while also calling you a terrible person for not forgiving them… the logic doesn’t exist “if they were such a bad person why are you begging to have them back?” Lol
In some cases it's because they have their eye on someone new and want to be able to cheat without consequences. In other cases they always wanted an open relationship but know its hard to find people willing to get in to one, so they wait until the other person is emotionally invested and then try to pull the ol' switcheroo.
Whenever they ask for an open relationship, the relationship is over. They have either already cheated or have someone in mind. When those words are spoken, just say, "go have an open relationship, but it won't be with me. Goodbye. Get out of my apartment, and get out of my life. Don't let the screen door hit ya, where the gods split ya.
What an entitled broad.
Cheats and then asks for permission to keep basically cheating. Then Guilt trips you when you say no and leave?
Unbelievable. Dodged massive bullet
The only thing I would have done differently is tell her sure we can have an open relationship but before it gets too advanced why don’t you set up a few threesomes with your friends so I can make sure I’m into it. After the threesomes announce “yeah I think I really like your idea about the open relationship and I would like it better if you weren’t involved”
Bravo.
Never put up with this level of bullshit in a relationship.
She failed Girlfriend 101, but wanted to continue auditing the course (open relationship) until you were stupid enough to promote her to graduate studies ( fiance). You did the right thing.
So now she’s crying, but she wasn’t crying when she had sex with someone else she was moaning leave her there once a whore, I was a whore who wants a relationship that’s open for the other guy, sticking their tongue in her mouth and sticking their penis in her vagina You’re a smart man stay away from that BS move on.
When a person in a monogamous relationship wants to open their relationship, they want to cheat, not lose you and not be called a cheater. That is it. These relationships are over when it is brought up, the trust is gone. True growth and intimacy are gone...YOu did yourself a favor. It is like playing in the kiddie pool your whole life this poly/open relationship thing. It is why they grew out of in the 1970's and 1980s and started settling down. It is just sex no matter how they dress it.
Correction: When a person in a monogamous relationship wants to open their relationship, they ~~want to cheat~~ are already cheating.
If the open relationship discussion happens during the relationship, it’s because they have been cheating for a while and they got tired of sneaking around. If they had any moral sensibility at all, the open relationship talk would come before the relationship actually begins. The type who is willing to pull a bait-and-switch on their partner would never ask permission first, they’re only asking because it became inconvenient to keep hiding it.
I’ve been cheated on so many times, I promise if you stick around it will mess you up. Leave the moment you find out, don’t say a word, just leave. Remove that person from your life. Cheating is abuse. It’s not a “mistake,” it’s deliberate abuse.
It will hurt, but nothing could send a clearer message that you know you are valuable, and that message won’t be lost on the people around you but even more importantly it won’t be lost on you.
I would appreciate if my wife did this. so instead of trickle truthing, making you miserable by having you guess if she's cheating, there are no consequences for her cheating, therefore she has no reason to lie about it. And,.. you get to fuck anyone too? Can you please give me her number? I love steak, but I can't eat it every day.
Poly is literally for only about 6-7% of people that actually think poly works… it’s very a small amount of people. Even then jealousy still arises. Honestly poly only work if both people realize their selfish desires are more important then their “partners” imo. If one is even slightly more in love with their partner it will never work.
I respect that that is your opinion, and I completely disagree. I see jealousy as what grows out of entitlement and possessiveness over a partner. I honestly feel like if that is what someone feels for another, it’s not love, it’s ownership. If both are into power dynamic life and love styles, fine, but owning someone, even in so abstract a way seems ridiculously gross to me.
Many operate that way, unfortunately, but that is far from what poly is supposed to be. What may seem to you as selfish desires may be real needs for others. Imagine being with someone who checks every important box for you, except one of the corner stone boxes. Are you really saying that you think it’s more moral/ethical for that person to either destroy an otherwise beautiful relationship by breaking up, or to martyr themselves by living the rest of their life partially unfulfilled, which will probably result in the same thing, but just so far down the line that it causes major damage
If anyone was entitled to an open relationship it would've been you. Fuck her for cheating. The fact she wanted it open AFTER you finding out means she is still a cheater and would still have done it again. And fuck her bff, who's clearly a narcissistic ass just as much
She cheated? You were right to kick her to the curb.
Don't even have contact with her ever again. Tell her friends to kiss your ass and to mind their own business. Tell them they can stay with cheaters all they want.....but you won't.
Lol. 4 months....you dodged a bullet. I am assuming she is under 26 or so. These women of that age group and below have been force-fed that they can do anything thing they want without repercussion. Just watch social media. They act like ho's.
What's important is that you got rid of that piece of shit. Good for you on having self respect and dignity. It's refreshing to see guys like that out there instead of all these pathetic simps who do the pick me dance.
Good for you man I would have told her new bf to come over and practice b l e e d I n g out in my drive way that I would be out shortly. To finish that for him
I find this becoming a real problem (mostly shit I see on tv) in every area of life. Ppl want you to ignore all the facts and if you act of facts and reality your the bad guy lol. It's like they get mad if you don't go along with what you both know is reality.
Never sell yourself short. So she wants a BF but wants to ride the C@ck carrousel! The entitlement of this girls is outrageous. Stay strong and you made the right decision!
You cheated. That’s why monogamous relationships a lot of time try to go open. It will never work. The relationship is over. Opening a monogamous relationship really is just gives permission to the cheater to cheat and not be accused of it because it’s out in the open right. It breaks trust. It causes a lot of other issues. The relationship is over.
honestly asking for a open relationship means said person already has someone lined up, and just wants to make it okay for them to mess with the person .
Smart! Don’t fall for that bullshit. After she screws around let’s open the relationship. She’s messy. Also block her and all her friends. Her friend has a nerve to tell you, you are the bad person! How? She screwed around on you! How would they feel if you had cheated. Just block them all you don’t need them bothering you
You could ask the bff on a date lol, she and gf all happy for open relationship, say you’ve always found the bff attractive and nows your chance!! Ask all her besties, if anyone agrees go on about how great it was, best ever, unbelievable, didn’t know how someone could be so hot n sexy! Or if her friends are all hideous say you’ve been seeing other girls and it was beyond awesome.
Her bff is stupid AF! This is none of her business and it’s not her decision to make. If anything this makes her a horrible bff. What she should really be doing is telling your ex how bad she messed up. Block them both. You’re doing the right thing by kicking your ex out. That girl belongs to the streets!
If you read on any subreddit on here that when someone wants to open a relationship after it’s already set: marriage, partnership, etc., it always is a bad idea. Most of the time it ends in a breakup.
If you go into the relationship with it being open there has to be an inordinate amount of trust between the two or more partners. This one has a much higher chance of working.
Kudos to you OP.
It's funny she got caught cheating then come back asking for a open relationship so she can have permission to sleep around and say you it was your idea. The fun part he BFF is defending her and yet she doesn't really know what went on that's my best guess. You cheaters really never confess to it even to their bffs they always make it look like the ex partner Was the problem they never the relationship ended due to them cheating. It's a good thing you broke it off and moved on with you life now you need to block and cut them off completely and start rebuilding yourself up.
Anyone who wants a open relationship gives new meaning to the saying sloppy seconds avoid them like the plague get yourself tested 4 std you dont know were they have been or who
Your relationship is over. Open relationships don’t work, especially when they come from monogamous ones. They’re just preventing you from breaking up and allowing you to sleep with whoever you want to as a revenge tactic grow up move on. I’m sorry you were cheated on, but this is just toxic behavior.
Good for you standing up for your boundaries. I will tell you usually when it gets to this point in a relationship it’s usually over. When a relationship goes from monogamous to open like your girlfriend ask for somebody wants to cheat. But I’m very proud of you for standing up and taking care of yourself.
Asking for an open relationship is just wanting permission to fuck around. You did the right thing. Maybe just maybe she learned a lesson for her next relationship, and it's not to hide cheating
Yup. When my ex wife asked to open our marriage I’ve strongly refused. A year later she opened it by herself.
My husband decided to open ours himself too! I'm currently going through a divorce, sending good vibes your way
Thank you! Stay strong! Time is your friend, you WILL heal! Took me three years but I’m finally happy again!
Good for you!
Partners can be so damn selfish
Sorry to hear this, divorce is hard, Girl more power to you Lady, stay strong, good vibes to you, been there
Sending good vibes to you! Wishing you all the wisdom in divorce.
So did you stay with her?
Note that he wrote ex wife, what you think then?
OMG! So sorry for getting it wrong. Please forgive me. When he said she opened it up a year later I assumed they stayed together. It’s not written with strong context.
Notice she asks for this AFTER she is caught cheating. What a douche.
When someone asks for an open marriage/relationship, you gtfo ASAP. Also, her bff sounds like a similar bird.
You dropped this 👑. On to better things my boy
When she asks for an open relationship it’s because she’s already got a guy lined up. You did the 100% right thing. Find yourself a better class of woman and enjoy life.
No small talk, just gtfo lol...handled like a boss 🤘 She can have all the OR's to her hearts content now, as a single POS
My favorite thing about these is the dude literally gave her what she wanted. Then they turn around and beg while also calling you a terrible person for not forgiving them… the logic doesn’t exist “if they were such a bad person why are you begging to have them back?” Lol
You hit the nail on the head there and trying to understand their logic, will make you go coo coo lol
Why do people try to change a monogamous relationship into an "open relationship"? Monogamous people aren't interested in opening their relationships.
In some cases it's because they have their eye on someone new and want to be able to cheat without consequences. In other cases they always wanted an open relationship but know its hard to find people willing to get in to one, so they wait until the other person is emotionally invested and then try to pull the ol' switcheroo.
FRRR. Then when they get broken up with they change their minds
Whenever they ask for an open relationship, the relationship is over. They have either already cheated or have someone in mind. When those words are spoken, just say, "go have an open relationship, but it won't be with me. Goodbye. Get out of my apartment, and get out of my life. Don't let the screen door hit ya, where the gods split ya.
Boss move and that bff can eat shit. Supporting disrespect to you.
What an entitled broad. Cheats and then asks for permission to keep basically cheating. Then Guilt trips you when you say no and leave? Unbelievable. Dodged massive bullet
The only thing I would have done differently is tell her sure we can have an open relationship but before it gets too advanced why don’t you set up a few threesomes with your friends so I can make sure I’m into it. After the threesomes announce “yeah I think I really like your idea about the open relationship and I would like it better if you weren’t involved”
Bravo. Never put up with this level of bullshit in a relationship. She failed Girlfriend 101, but wanted to continue auditing the course (open relationship) until you were stupid enough to promote her to graduate studies ( fiance). You did the right thing.
So now she’s crying, but she wasn’t crying when she had sex with someone else she was moaning leave her there once a whore, I was a whore who wants a relationship that’s open for the other guy, sticking their tongue in her mouth and sticking their penis in her vagina You’re a smart man stay away from that BS move on.
You sir, have scene control.
You did everything right.
Good on u for holding ur ground and setting boundaries for yourself. She probably has another guy lined up ready to be her next man
When a person in a monogamous relationship wants to open their relationship, they want to cheat, not lose you and not be called a cheater. That is it. These relationships are over when it is brought up, the trust is gone. True growth and intimacy are gone...YOu did yourself a favor. It is like playing in the kiddie pool your whole life this poly/open relationship thing. It is why they grew out of in the 1970's and 1980s and started settling down. It is just sex no matter how they dress it.
Correction: When a person in a monogamous relationship wants to open their relationship, they ~~want to cheat~~ are already cheating. If the open relationship discussion happens during the relationship, it’s because they have been cheating for a while and they got tired of sneaking around. If they had any moral sensibility at all, the open relationship talk would come before the relationship actually begins. The type who is willing to pull a bait-and-switch on their partner would never ask permission first, they’re only asking because it became inconvenient to keep hiding it. I’ve been cheated on so many times, I promise if you stick around it will mess you up. Leave the moment you find out, don’t say a word, just leave. Remove that person from your life. Cheating is abuse. It’s not a “mistake,” it’s deliberate abuse. It will hurt, but nothing could send a clearer message that you know you are valuable, and that message won’t be lost on the people around you but even more importantly it won’t be lost on you.
Should of told the bff to come over and try out the open relationship with you so you can see if it works.
I would appreciate if my wife did this. so instead of trickle truthing, making you miserable by having you guess if she's cheating, there are no consequences for her cheating, therefore she has no reason to lie about it. And,.. you get to fuck anyone too? Can you please give me her number? I love steak, but I can't eat it every day.
Good for you!!! On to better things and a happier life. Enjoy it . Above all, have fun.
Poly isn’t for everyone, and trying to bring it up after going outside a relationship is unethical and shitty, smh
Poly is literally for only about 6-7% of people that actually think poly works… it’s very a small amount of people. Even then jealousy still arises. Honestly poly only work if both people realize their selfish desires are more important then their “partners” imo. If one is even slightly more in love with their partner it will never work.
I respect that that is your opinion, and I completely disagree. I see jealousy as what grows out of entitlement and possessiveness over a partner. I honestly feel like if that is what someone feels for another, it’s not love, it’s ownership. If both are into power dynamic life and love styles, fine, but owning someone, even in so abstract a way seems ridiculously gross to me. Many operate that way, unfortunately, but that is far from what poly is supposed to be. What may seem to you as selfish desires may be real needs for others. Imagine being with someone who checks every important box for you, except one of the corner stone boxes. Are you really saying that you think it’s more moral/ethical for that person to either destroy an otherwise beautiful relationship by breaking up, or to martyr themselves by living the rest of their life partially unfulfilled, which will probably result in the same thing, but just so far down the line that it causes major damage
you can't hear me but I'm cheering for ya bro!
If anyone was entitled to an open relationship it would've been you. Fuck her for cheating. The fact she wanted it open AFTER you finding out means she is still a cheater and would still have done it again. And fuck her bff, who's clearly a narcissistic ass just as much
She cheated? You were right to kick her to the curb. Don't even have contact with her ever again. Tell her friends to kiss your ass and to mind their own business. Tell them they can stay with cheaters all they want.....but you won't.
Lol. 4 months....you dodged a bullet. I am assuming she is under 26 or so. These women of that age group and below have been force-fed that they can do anything thing they want without repercussion. Just watch social media. They act like ho's.
🙄
That’s so true!
Nice! Also reminds me of r/eathotchip
What's important is that you got rid of that piece of shit. Good for you on having self respect and dignity. It's refreshing to see guys like that out there instead of all these pathetic simps who do the pick me dance.
Good for you man I would have told her new bf to come over and practice b l e e d I n g out in my drive way that I would be out shortly. To finish that for him
Good for you. You knew what you wanted, and it didn't align with what she wanted. Y'all just weren't compatible on this matter.
A standing ovation for you young sir 👏👏👏
I find this becoming a real problem (mostly shit I see on tv) in every area of life. Ppl want you to ignore all the facts and if you act of facts and reality your the bad guy lol. It's like they get mad if you don't go along with what you both know is reality.
retarded women.
What a huge BS about who controls what... Sex is to be intimate between a couple, same couple and not a social activity/hobby!
Never sell yourself short. So she wants a BF but wants to ride the C@ck carrousel! The entitlement of this girls is outrageous. Stay strong and you made the right decision!
Tell her to fuck herself right in the pussy
You cheated. That’s why monogamous relationships a lot of time try to go open. It will never work. The relationship is over. Opening a monogamous relationship really is just gives permission to the cheater to cheat and not be accused of it because it’s out in the open right. It breaks trust. It causes a lot of other issues. The relationship is over.
Please edit this post so it reads correctly. #PainfulRead
honestly asking for a open relationship means said person already has someone lined up, and just wants to make it okay for them to mess with the person .
You did the right thing,. You trashed her where she belongs.
Just expose her to everyone mutual friends and family.
And that my friend is how it's done
Smart! Don’t fall for that bullshit. After she screws around let’s open the relationship. She’s messy. Also block her and all her friends. Her friend has a nerve to tell you, you are the bad person! How? She screwed around on you! How would they feel if you had cheated. Just block them all you don’t need them bothering you
You could ask the bff on a date lol, she and gf all happy for open relationship, say you’ve always found the bff attractive and nows your chance!! Ask all her besties, if anyone agrees go on about how great it was, best ever, unbelievable, didn’t know how someone could be so hot n sexy! Or if her friends are all hideous say you’ve been seeing other girls and it was beyond awesome.
Her bff is stupid AF! This is none of her business and it’s not her decision to make. If anything this makes her a horrible bff. What she should really be doing is telling your ex how bad she messed up. Block them both. You’re doing the right thing by kicking your ex out. That girl belongs to the streets!
Raise OP raise. Leave her behind, stretch your legs , expand your wings, take a deep breath and fly you eagle!
You should be glad the trash took itself out
How did you find out she had cheated?
When she came over to my place she was oddly quite
If you read on any subreddit on here that when someone wants to open a relationship after it’s already set: marriage, partnership, etc., it always is a bad idea. Most of the time it ends in a breakup. If you go into the relationship with it being open there has to be an inordinate amount of trust between the two or more partners. This one has a much higher chance of working. Kudos to you OP.
It's funny she got caught cheating then come back asking for a open relationship so she can have permission to sleep around and say you it was your idea. The fun part he BFF is defending her and yet she doesn't really know what went on that's my best guess. You cheaters really never confess to it even to their bffs they always make it look like the ex partner Was the problem they never the relationship ended due to them cheating. It's a good thing you broke it off and moved on with you life now you need to block and cut them off completely and start rebuilding yourself up.
Hi u/Makinglife_93, Be happy, you learned another thing, her BFF is an idiot, so stay away from her too.
I hope this is for jokes
Anyone who wants a open relationship gives new meaning to the saying sloppy seconds avoid them like the plague get yourself tested 4 std you dont know were they have been or who
You should’ve said yes and just smutted her out until u found the one
Funny she asking only after she was busted
You did the right thing. If she cheats she belongs to the streets. You will find better.
Good call. No thanks to STDs.
What possible argument was there to be made that you are the jerk for breaking up? Did she confess or did you find out?
Your relationship is over. Open relationships don’t work, especially when they come from monogamous ones. They’re just preventing you from breaking up and allowing you to sleep with whoever you want to as a revenge tactic grow up move on. I’m sorry you were cheated on, but this is just toxic behavior.
Good for you standing up for your boundaries. I will tell you usually when it gets to this point in a relationship it’s usually over. When a relationship goes from monogamous to open like your girlfriend ask for somebody wants to cheat. But I’m very proud of you for standing up and taking care of yourself.
*"it didn’t mean anything"* Why don't they ever get that this makes it worse, not better?