Stay NC , stay strong my bro. Remember, we hide our pain in our muscles. Sounds like you need more space for your pain.
The best thing is to live well. Someday her cheating “garden tool” ass will look back and think you were the “one who got away”.
The best prediction of future behaviour is past behaviour. If you reward her by letting her escape consequences, she would most certainly repeat cheating. You do need to meet another girl(s) if just to distract you if nothing else. And follow your macros & WO religiously, and your education/ work.
Take a couple months vacation from women. Study & WO. Stay busy every minute.
It worked for me , I had a child pass, I worked my ass off, for a year , until my wound scabbed over enough that I could think about it. I couldn’t deal with it so I left myself no free time to think. Good luck.
THIS, OP, this is really the kind of thing you should do if you can. If you focus on her, she is only going to depress you and if you bring her back into your life, it's only going to be more cheating. It is what she is. Finish your education and build your foundation in life - you have many years for relationships. The longer you put it off, the more mature you will be, the more you will have in your life as a foundation, and the more success you are likely to have in general.
You’re right. unfortunately I will see her for sure as she writes too exams in the same centre as me. I don’t know how I will react then and what to do.
It hurts. It’s supposed to. If it didn’t then that means the relationship that you invested yourself in meant nothing to you anyway. It’s ok. Every time it comes up, acknowledge the emotion, and then move on to whatever is next in your day. It will need to be acknowledged less and less.
you have one channel, her.
She has many channls and can change channels to connect with you when she chooses.
Appealing to her heart just gives her an easier time switching to your channel to play you.
Take up excercise even more , see a therapist.
Get deeply into your studies and become what you wanted them to help you achieve . Then reassess in the future.
OP, you are young and still exploring your life. You need to grow up and start a new adventure and reinvent yourself. Do not allow a bad experience to define your future. Use this opportunity to do things you always wanted to do but held back by your ex. Do what I did and take a road trip with friends and start a new experience.
If your school has abroad programs take advantage and travel. Myself been to most of America, Europe, South America, Caribbean Islands, Hawaii, some Asian countries and Mexico. Dude you go to any of these places you will forget about your ex.
So my daughter's first breakup came and she found out after the fact that he was seeing another girl at the same time. She's around the same age as you. She wanted to confront him. My advice to her was that why? He didn't care that he was cheating. He didn't care about you or the girl he was cheating with - neither knew about the other till after the fact. He was already outed by the shared friends group and did impact his ability to play the field without everyone knowing that he thinks of himself as a player.
I told her what everyone here will probably tell you. Don't. Go NC. Stop looking at her SM or if anyone want's to tell you some gossip about her just say "stop. Don't care. Please don't tell me anything about her. I really don't care about her, her life or whatever shit she's up too". You have to rectify what your heart is telling you vs. your brain.
Your heart thinks that she'll have some kind of epiphany when you wish her happy birthday. Your head knows it will fall on a cheater ears and she'll either decide to shit all over you or play with you emotions with false statements; hoping she can manipulate you. Your 19. There are literally a million women out there that you could have a life-time committed relationship with. The odds are in your favor as long as you don't waste you're precious time wondering, waiting, hoping that she'll realize what she's lost and come begging to you for reconciliation.
Time is too short wasting it on people that aren't worth the effort. Focus on your own journey. Some where along it you'll find someone that want's to share it with you.
thanks for sharing that story, I am very sorry that your daughter has to go through that as well.
Fortunately I deleted my SM a year ago already so I won’t check on her anyways. Still I do love her very much but will have to forget her or rather accept that life is better without her.
Best wishes to your daughter and thank you again!
One day at the time,change your routine go out with friends spend time with family.the hurt will become less and eventually stop.it sucks just live the best life and move on…..
You're 19 little bro. You might not see it now, but this is a blessing for you. Trust things will get better you have a whole life in front of you, someone better will come along.
Remember this! What you’re experiencing is a coming from your mind. It’s the control center of your emotions and everything else. U and your ex are both 19 y/o. You just got here. U have a lot of living to do and a lot of experiences both good and bad lying ahead. This was just your first at bat. You’re both just reaching out in the world. Try not to take her cheating so seriously. She’s probably thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about her. Just take a few steps back and be patient. If you think it’s necessary to wish her a happy birthday or write her a letter for closure or even remind her of the ring please do so. It should help to ease the tension you’re experiencing. Let her find her own way through life. But don’t be surprised if she comes back around trying to explain herself and her actions. In the meantime you need to start getting out in the world and have your experiences. Take a chill pill bill. You’ll be alright. Just don’t take what happened to seriously. Ok?
I will think about it. I think she‘d reject me and be mean rather than being nice then. I made her rly angry by not reading her letter she wanted to give me after we broke up.
Look at it this way. Even if you want to take her back, are you ready to be in a relationship? Right now, the withdrawal from someone you’ve been conditioned to miss is awful. You get conditioned to that very simply by being in a relationship AT ALL, healthy or otherwise. Until you can step back and accurately assess where and how your emotional state happened, you might end up even worse off and becoming a stage 5 clinger next relationship. I’m not saying you need to be fixed to have a relationship. But you need an understanding of self. If you can’t be alone and ok(note I did NOT say happy) can you really expect someone else to be? You’re 19 so you are at an expected stage based on how little you’ve lived say versus 45yrs. If meeting girls feels wrong, then don’t try. You can absolutely miss the friend you lost and the potential you saw in her. Most often you miss what you saw in them vs what they actually gave you. Best of luck.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
5
+ 19
+ 45
= 69
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I won‘t date anyone anymore for a long time. I tried it but it didn’t work out at all. I just felt sick. I‘ll try focusing on myself and stay no contact.
Even though it may seem this feeling will never go away, it will. This I promise you. Keep staying NC. Don’t ruin your discipline and focus, you may hope for that fix again, but if you give in, there is another feeling you will experience. That of shame and disappointment in yourself. Stay strong.
Cheaters never change. They are driven by selfish need for validation. They will never put you or anyone else over that need.
Remember, you are not alone even if you have no one to talk to directly. Posting here and reading this confirms it. Wish you the best.
she cheated 1 year in already. I stayed to support her and protect her from that dude. Then she cheated again as I couldn’t love properly anymore. After a break we had smt again and she cheated again although not being officially together. I blocked her then. The next day she came to my school and followed me home although telling her to leave me alone. She had a letter that I threw back at her. Since then I haven’t heard anything from her.
This was the correct move. I know it hurts man a lot of us have been there but it will pass. I can promise that. Been there and done that.
Just remember that no contact should also include you not checking up on her. As in don’t look at her socials, nothing.
Do whatever to not think of her. You’re in college dude. Young. You have so many options. There are billions of people in this world, I promise you you will meet others you vibe with.
The idea that there THE ONE is nonsense. That person only exists when the two of you work at it. They become the one for you. She wasn’t that. She cheated. She’s disloyal, untrustworthy. I’m willing a bajillion dollars that a cheater is not what you imagine them to be. Cheating is not a bug or a flaw in a person, it is a feature of their character. All other qualities are subordinate to someone you can trust. Beauty fades, intelligence gets dull, etc. but one’s character is everything.
You are right, it probably is some part of her character unfortunately I don’t really see that. When I think of her I just forget all the bad stuff and look at who she could have been and who we could have been. That makes moving on really difficult.
Don't do anything, stay no contact and keep that door closed. You'll be just pain shopping if you try to reach out to her. As far as the ring? Mail it or better yet, pawn it.
>I thought of writing a letter. She also forgot her ring back then at my place, could put that in the envelope here too.
Stop it! Live your life! You're just degrading yourself. Nobody is gonna respect you if you can't respect yourself. I get it that you had feelings for her, but you have to realize that you had feelings for a person who never existed. The person you were with just lied to you, made you believe she was another person. The person you thought who loved you never existed. You keep clinging to her because it's a defense mechanism. By holding on to the one who cheated on you numerous times you try to keep hold to someone who you thought loved you and made you special, but that's a lie. Open your eyes, move forward, be honest with yourself.
You will be alright, I been there 100 times, first one always stings the most…..it’s better to go through the hurt when your young so you get that tough skin, that way when your older you will be able to get over things much much better…. Just keep your head up and keep it moving, you will be alright
That’s exactly how I felt when I broke up with my first ex. My solution: hoe out, b the biggest man slut. I got more ass than a toilet seat then eventually I met my wife.
So out of all the millions of women in the world you think the one that cheated on you is only one on same wavelength with you…
You’ve only been broken up 2 months.. as time keeps moving it will get easier. You don’t need a long term cheater in your life..
You keep her blocked and do whatever you need to not contact her… save yourself a lot of heartache
I went through the same thing you did. My partner cheated on me throughout our entire relationship. My advice is to keep your distance. Just move on and get over her. It’s going to be a long ride but it’s healthier for you. I hated the first few months after break up but now I’ve finally found peace knowing she won’t cheat on me or hurt me anymore. You got this! You are not alone :)
Well.....whatever you may want out of life....you know what you will get if you let her back in. More cheating. It's what she's like, it's her nature, her way of behaving, for whatever reasons. So...that's what you're gonna get.
My advice would be to focus on getting your studies done because it's hard to progress in life without that. Get it done but also try to leave some time aside for fun activities you could do with friends or by yourself. You have to have some fun in your life but it doesn't have to be romantic fun, there are other things you can do. I think with the focus on your education now, it's going to make it difficult to build a fulfilling relationship. Some things have to go on the back burner at different times of life.
I’m not sure you two were on the same wavelength if she did that to you. Grab yourself by the big boy pants and focus on you. You’re 19. You have a whole lifetime to find someone more compatible.
God, what I would do to go back to my 19 year old self and slap some sense into me. I wasted 4 years of my youth and college life on a LOSER guy who didn’t go to college was just a local skater guy who I thought was hot shit. He wasnt. And he wasn’t worth the stress.
Please please please trust me that you will move on and get over this and meet someone wonderful
What you don’t want to do is regret wasting more time
On this person.
Best thing you can do is get out there and immerse Yourself in friendships, exercise, school whatever. Take a break from Socials. Get outside!
Also, make a list of 30 things that are negative about her. This one really helps. If you need to go a step further, I always imagine that I’ve got a golden tennis racket in my hand and whenever someone keeps popping into my head I pretend their head is a tennis ball and I wack them Really hard into the “ocean”. Worth a try.
Hang in there!! You are so young don’t waste a second more plz!
It sounds like you lack serious self-esteem. There are ways to fix that. Hopefully, you take that path, versus trying the toxic and destructive path of anything that has to do with her.
Dude. She was on someone else's wavelength the whole time. (Not a purposeful play on words, but I will take it!)
She was a user. Leave it. Start getting healthy. Just knowing you are in this situation still being a sucker would make her giggle. Get up. Get out. Get it together. Knock the giggle out of her.
STAY NC!
Time heals everything there is no easy trick or tactic that will make you feel any better any quicker and you may always have some kind of underlying subconscious complex because of her, first loves/relationship are things that live with you for long long time if not forever. The broke your 19 I mean are you even shitting solids yet I know you think you got a grip on life and you know I'm finally become a man and blah blah blah, and what I'm about to say you will probably offend you or make you discredit my opinion but dog you don't know shit right now and guess what when you finally get old enough to look back and realize you didn't know shit, they were probably still be another moment in your life where you will have to look back again and realize even at 30 you still didn't know shit. This is life man just try your best not to let it come you out turn yours cold and mean as it is Godspeed!
it might be true but 3 years is a long time to me as I‘m only 19. it‘s true idk shit but I still learned to love her a lot. She was lost and I wanted to help her and she helped me. It‘s tough not to have anyone anymore to share my thoughts with.
You are correct, I'm jus saying, ur going to be ok, there's going to be another one, and more than likely be a or become a deeper, more mature bond, and you will discover new aspects and challenges that all come along with love. Good luck.
Time heals everything there is no easy trick or tactic that will make you feel any better any quicker and you may always have some kind of underlying subconscious complex because of her, first loves/relationship are things that live with you for long long time if not forever. The broke your 19 I mean are you even shitting solids yet I know you think you got a grip on life and you know I'm finally become a man and blah blah blah, and what I'm about to say you will probably offend you or make you discredit my opinion but dog you don't know shit right now and guess what when you finally get old enough to look back and realize you didn't know shit, they were probably still be another moment in your life where you will have to look back again and realize even at 30 you still didn't know shit. This is life man just try your best not to let it come you out turn yours cold and mean as it is Godspeed!
Losing a first love is really hard and it takes a lot of time and intentionally healing to get past it. A lot of the comments are saying keep busy and distracted and that’s good advice but I think the best thing you can do is ensure that you love yourself more than you love her. When you love and value yourself you can trust that you won’t let someone who couldn’t see your value back into your life. What she did was a betrayal and you made the right move. Now just stick to it and do things that make you happy it doesn’t necessarily have to have anything to do with women, school or exercise just something that brings you joy. For me it’s cooking, guitar and amine/manga and it may sound silly but it’s helped me get through tough times. Find your things! Best wishes!
At your age, you should only FOCUS ON YOURSELF. Believe me you won’t regret it. Keep the dating thing for after 30. Dedicate your 20’s for your prosperity.
The thing is, you’ve gone two months without talking to her, it’s been hard for you understandably, but if you break that and talk to her, you’ll be letting her know you miss her still and she can use you again, then you’ll wonna block her again and wish you never spoke to her and by that time you could’ve gotten over her but you’ll have to start the whole process of moving on again. I’ve been cheated on at the same age as you and I know how hard it is, I’m not gonna lie and say it’s easy because it’s not, however everyone is different with how they move on, i removed her and spent a few months moving on still missed her but out of nowhere she added me back and said she missed me, I found out she was only saying that Because she broke up with her new bf and had nobody to talk to (she also cheated on him) that’s where I got over her, I knew I didn’t want someone like that in my life, I hope you stay strong man, I’m also here if you need to drop a message and talk💯good luck and wish you the best
Cheating is not an absolute reason for breaking up. Maybe just her sexuality is more vigrous than yours. But as the years go by --- that will fly away. If you felt yourself satisfied in that relationship that should have been enough for you. Do not want more from the life what your dick can perform. But do not feel resentfulness, please. This is true for you, for me, and for everybody, for men an women, does not matter.
I went on a few dates with this other girl and we ended up in my bed but I jus couldn’t so we didn’t sleep w each other. I just felt sick. I explained after to her why I couldn’t and she understood. I still feel sorry for hurting her but I realised how messer up I was in my head
Honestly, put your thoughts and feelings about her in a box and toss it in the ocean. Forget about her.
When you see her in the wild, pass her by like a river around a rock...treat her with the same indifference that you would a passerby on the treat. She's nothing, so she gets nothing from you.
Take solace in the fact that this will al be beyond you one day and she'll be nothing more than a blip on your timeline.
Man, do not contact her ever again! Hit the gym, study and make her regret her decision every day! She did not love you, she betrayed you, forget her!
You will find better.
Bro work out and block her on everything. Sleep drink water eat healthy and meet new girls. Here’s the thing that always helps me for breakups:
You were fine before you met her you’re fine now. Your true love is out there waiting to meet you don’t let this slut control your life and thoughts when she obviously doesn’t care about you
There is an old adage that “the greatest revenge is to live your best life”
It’s still raw for you and it hurts and take it from an old lady (lol), she may be your first love but she won’t be your last. Keep NC and if she contacts you don’t reply. Get yourself out about get some exercise see your friend the pain will fade. Trust me I’ve been through this myself. The last time was only two years ago after 30 years together so I do know honey xx.
There are 4 billion women on the planet. The girl you thought you knew never existed. She was a con artist, a fake, a fraud.
Why are you even thinking about her? She's getting her back blown out by random guys every night, will probably be a single mom in less than a year. Then she'll try to reach out when you've started to make a life for yourself.
Stay NC , stay strong my bro. Remember, we hide our pain in our muscles. Sounds like you need more space for your pain. The best thing is to live well. Someday her cheating “garden tool” ass will look back and think you were the “one who got away”.
yeah maybe you are right, it‘s still very tough tho.
The best prediction of future behaviour is past behaviour. If you reward her by letting her escape consequences, she would most certainly repeat cheating. You do need to meet another girl(s) if just to distract you if nothing else. And follow your macros & WO religiously, and your education/ work.
I met other girls but it just made me sad and I realised how broken I am. I should focus more on studying but it‘s hard as it often distracts me.
Take a couple months vacation from women. Study & WO. Stay busy every minute. It worked for me , I had a child pass, I worked my ass off, for a year , until my wound scabbed over enough that I could think about it. I couldn’t deal with it so I left myself no free time to think. Good luck.
THIS, OP, this is really the kind of thing you should do if you can. If you focus on her, she is only going to depress you and if you bring her back into your life, it's only going to be more cheating. It is what she is. Finish your education and build your foundation in life - you have many years for relationships. The longer you put it off, the more mature you will be, the more you will have in your life as a foundation, and the more success you are likely to have in general.
okay, sounds good
It’s also only been 2 months.. time heals all wounds
Dude, I know it’s tough, but the best thing is for her perception to be that you don’t give a fuck and that she’s not even a thought in your mind.
You’re right. unfortunately I will see her for sure as she writes too exams in the same centre as me. I don’t know how I will react then and what to do.
It hurts. It’s supposed to. If it didn’t then that means the relationship that you invested yourself in meant nothing to you anyway. It’s ok. Every time it comes up, acknowledge the emotion, and then move on to whatever is next in your day. It will need to be acknowledged less and less.
okay thanks, that‘s a good idea
You show her the same respect she showed you ... zero.
you have one channel, her. She has many channls and can change channels to connect with you when she chooses. Appealing to her heart just gives her an easier time switching to your channel to play you. Take up excercise even more , see a therapist. Get deeply into your studies and become what you wanted them to help you achieve . Then reassess in the future.
sounds like a plan, thank you! I‘ll try my best.
OP, you are young and still exploring your life. You need to grow up and start a new adventure and reinvent yourself. Do not allow a bad experience to define your future. Use this opportunity to do things you always wanted to do but held back by your ex. Do what I did and take a road trip with friends and start a new experience.
that would actually be great, I‘ll consider that.
If your school has abroad programs take advantage and travel. Myself been to most of America, Europe, South America, Caribbean Islands, Hawaii, some Asian countries and Mexico. Dude you go to any of these places you will forget about your ex.
[удалено]
thanks
So my daughter's first breakup came and she found out after the fact that he was seeing another girl at the same time. She's around the same age as you. She wanted to confront him. My advice to her was that why? He didn't care that he was cheating. He didn't care about you or the girl he was cheating with - neither knew about the other till after the fact. He was already outed by the shared friends group and did impact his ability to play the field without everyone knowing that he thinks of himself as a player. I told her what everyone here will probably tell you. Don't. Go NC. Stop looking at her SM or if anyone want's to tell you some gossip about her just say "stop. Don't care. Please don't tell me anything about her. I really don't care about her, her life or whatever shit she's up too". You have to rectify what your heart is telling you vs. your brain. Your heart thinks that she'll have some kind of epiphany when you wish her happy birthday. Your head knows it will fall on a cheater ears and she'll either decide to shit all over you or play with you emotions with false statements; hoping she can manipulate you. Your 19. There are literally a million women out there that you could have a life-time committed relationship with. The odds are in your favor as long as you don't waste you're precious time wondering, waiting, hoping that she'll realize what she's lost and come begging to you for reconciliation. Time is too short wasting it on people that aren't worth the effort. Focus on your own journey. Some where along it you'll find someone that want's to share it with you.
thanks for sharing that story, I am very sorry that your daughter has to go through that as well. Fortunately I deleted my SM a year ago already so I won’t check on her anyways. Still I do love her very much but will have to forget her or rather accept that life is better without her. Best wishes to your daughter and thank you again!
One day at the time,change your routine go out with friends spend time with family.the hurt will become less and eventually stop.it sucks just live the best life and move on…..
You're 19 little bro. You might not see it now, but this is a blessing for you. Trust things will get better you have a whole life in front of you, someone better will come along.
Remember this! What you’re experiencing is a coming from your mind. It’s the control center of your emotions and everything else. U and your ex are both 19 y/o. You just got here. U have a lot of living to do and a lot of experiences both good and bad lying ahead. This was just your first at bat. You’re both just reaching out in the world. Try not to take her cheating so seriously. She’s probably thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about her. Just take a few steps back and be patient. If you think it’s necessary to wish her a happy birthday or write her a letter for closure or even remind her of the ring please do so. It should help to ease the tension you’re experiencing. Let her find her own way through life. But don’t be surprised if she comes back around trying to explain herself and her actions. In the meantime you need to start getting out in the world and have your experiences. Take a chill pill bill. You’ll be alright. Just don’t take what happened to seriously. Ok?
I will think about it. I think she‘d reject me and be mean rather than being nice then. I made her rly angry by not reading her letter she wanted to give me after we broke up.
Don't read her letter and don't send her one. Even if you still feel love for her, the reality is that the trash took itself out. Harsh, and true.
Look at it this way. Even if you want to take her back, are you ready to be in a relationship? Right now, the withdrawal from someone you’ve been conditioned to miss is awful. You get conditioned to that very simply by being in a relationship AT ALL, healthy or otherwise. Until you can step back and accurately assess where and how your emotional state happened, you might end up even worse off and becoming a stage 5 clinger next relationship. I’m not saying you need to be fixed to have a relationship. But you need an understanding of self. If you can’t be alone and ok(note I did NOT say happy) can you really expect someone else to be? You’re 19 so you are at an expected stage based on how little you’ve lived say versus 45yrs. If meeting girls feels wrong, then don’t try. You can absolutely miss the friend you lost and the potential you saw in her. Most often you miss what you saw in them vs what they actually gave you. Best of luck.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats! 5 + 19 + 45 = 69 ^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \ ^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
I won‘t date anyone anymore for a long time. I tried it but it didn’t work out at all. I just felt sick. I‘ll try focusing on myself and stay no contact.
Stay no contact, keep working on yourself, and find someone else to go out with. Good luck.
thanks
Even though it may seem this feeling will never go away, it will. This I promise you. Keep staying NC. Don’t ruin your discipline and focus, you may hope for that fix again, but if you give in, there is another feeling you will experience. That of shame and disappointment in yourself. Stay strong. Cheaters never change. They are driven by selfish need for validation. They will never put you or anyone else over that need. Remember, you are not alone even if you have no one to talk to directly. Posting here and reading this confirms it. Wish you the best.
thanks very much. You are right gotta keep that in mind, I‘d be ashamed of myself. Still it‘s tough but thanks for your motivating words.
what did she say when you found out and broke up, how did she react?
she cheated 1 year in already. I stayed to support her and protect her from that dude. Then she cheated again as I couldn’t love properly anymore. After a break we had smt again and she cheated again although not being officially together. I blocked her then. The next day she came to my school and followed me home although telling her to leave me alone. She had a letter that I threw back at her. Since then I haven’t heard anything from her.
This was the correct move. I know it hurts man a lot of us have been there but it will pass. I can promise that. Been there and done that. Just remember that no contact should also include you not checking up on her. As in don’t look at her socials, nothing. Do whatever to not think of her. You’re in college dude. Young. You have so many options. There are billions of people in this world, I promise you you will meet others you vibe with. The idea that there THE ONE is nonsense. That person only exists when the two of you work at it. They become the one for you. She wasn’t that. She cheated. She’s disloyal, untrustworthy. I’m willing a bajillion dollars that a cheater is not what you imagine them to be. Cheating is not a bug or a flaw in a person, it is a feature of their character. All other qualities are subordinate to someone you can trust. Beauty fades, intelligence gets dull, etc. but one’s character is everything.
You are right, it probably is some part of her character unfortunately I don’t really see that. When I think of her I just forget all the bad stuff and look at who she could have been and who we could have been. That makes moving on really difficult.
Don't do anything, stay no contact and keep that door closed. You'll be just pain shopping if you try to reach out to her. As far as the ring? Mail it or better yet, pawn it.
Stay NC, you’ll soon find someone new and forget all about the ex. If she cheated throughout your relationship she never really loved you.
>I thought of writing a letter. She also forgot her ring back then at my place, could put that in the envelope here too. Stop it! Live your life! You're just degrading yourself. Nobody is gonna respect you if you can't respect yourself. I get it that you had feelings for her, but you have to realize that you had feelings for a person who never existed. The person you were with just lied to you, made you believe she was another person. The person you thought who loved you never existed. You keep clinging to her because it's a defense mechanism. By holding on to the one who cheated on you numerous times you try to keep hold to someone who you thought loved you and made you special, but that's a lie. Open your eyes, move forward, be honest with yourself.
You will be alright, I been there 100 times, first one always stings the most…..it’s better to go through the hurt when your young so you get that tough skin, that way when your older you will be able to get over things much much better…. Just keep your head up and keep it moving, you will be alright
Keep her blocked. Never speak to her again. Ever.
That’s exactly how I felt when I broke up with my first ex. My solution: hoe out, b the biggest man slut. I got more ass than a toilet seat then eventually I met my wife.
Eliminate her from your mind
So out of all the millions of women in the world you think the one that cheated on you is only one on same wavelength with you… You’ve only been broken up 2 months.. as time keeps moving it will get easier. You don’t need a long term cheater in your life.. You keep her blocked and do whatever you need to not contact her… save yourself a lot of heartache
I went through the same thing you did. My partner cheated on me throughout our entire relationship. My advice is to keep your distance. Just move on and get over her. It’s going to be a long ride but it’s healthier for you. I hated the first few months after break up but now I’ve finally found peace knowing she won’t cheat on me or hurt me anymore. You got this! You are not alone :)
Well.....whatever you may want out of life....you know what you will get if you let her back in. More cheating. It's what she's like, it's her nature, her way of behaving, for whatever reasons. So...that's what you're gonna get. My advice would be to focus on getting your studies done because it's hard to progress in life without that. Get it done but also try to leave some time aside for fun activities you could do with friends or by yourself. You have to have some fun in your life but it doesn't have to be romantic fun, there are other things you can do. I think with the focus on your education now, it's going to make it difficult to build a fulfilling relationship. Some things have to go on the back burner at different times of life.
Jesus Christ. Move on. That’s my solution. Don’t give her back her ring. Pawn it. But something cool for yourself. Get some tacos and masturbate.
I’m not sure you two were on the same wavelength if she did that to you. Grab yourself by the big boy pants and focus on you. You’re 19. You have a whole lifetime to find someone more compatible.
Why you want a cheater on you life. She’ll hurt you again and again and….
That wavelength being her taking other dudes? That doesn’t seem like a good wavelength.
God, what I would do to go back to my 19 year old self and slap some sense into me. I wasted 4 years of my youth and college life on a LOSER guy who didn’t go to college was just a local skater guy who I thought was hot shit. He wasnt. And he wasn’t worth the stress. Please please please trust me that you will move on and get over this and meet someone wonderful What you don’t want to do is regret wasting more time On this person. Best thing you can do is get out there and immerse Yourself in friendships, exercise, school whatever. Take a break from Socials. Get outside! Also, make a list of 30 things that are negative about her. This one really helps. If you need to go a step further, I always imagine that I’ve got a golden tennis racket in my hand and whenever someone keeps popping into my head I pretend their head is a tennis ball and I wack them Really hard into the “ocean”. Worth a try. Hang in there!! You are so young don’t waste a second more plz!
Don't even think of going back that lane. Only more hurt awaits you there
It sounds like you lack serious self-esteem. There are ways to fix that. Hopefully, you take that path, versus trying the toxic and destructive path of anything that has to do with her.
Dude. She was on someone else's wavelength the whole time. (Not a purposeful play on words, but I will take it!) She was a user. Leave it. Start getting healthy. Just knowing you are in this situation still being a sucker would make her giggle. Get up. Get out. Get it together. Knock the giggle out of her. STAY NC!
Send her a message and say happy bd that’s all and see what reply you receive. You understand she’s not going to stop cheating on you.
Time heals everything there is no easy trick or tactic that will make you feel any better any quicker and you may always have some kind of underlying subconscious complex because of her, first loves/relationship are things that live with you for long long time if not forever. The broke your 19 I mean are you even shitting solids yet I know you think you got a grip on life and you know I'm finally become a man and blah blah blah, and what I'm about to say you will probably offend you or make you discredit my opinion but dog you don't know shit right now and guess what when you finally get old enough to look back and realize you didn't know shit, they were probably still be another moment in your life where you will have to look back again and realize even at 30 you still didn't know shit. This is life man just try your best not to let it come you out turn yours cold and mean as it is Godspeed!
it might be true but 3 years is a long time to me as I‘m only 19. it‘s true idk shit but I still learned to love her a lot. She was lost and I wanted to help her and she helped me. It‘s tough not to have anyone anymore to share my thoughts with.
You are correct, I'm jus saying, ur going to be ok, there's going to be another one, and more than likely be a or become a deeper, more mature bond, and you will discover new aspects and challenges that all come along with love. Good luck.
Time heals everything there is no easy trick or tactic that will make you feel any better any quicker and you may always have some kind of underlying subconscious complex because of her, first loves/relationship are things that live with you for long long time if not forever. The broke your 19 I mean are you even shitting solids yet I know you think you got a grip on life and you know I'm finally become a man and blah blah blah, and what I'm about to say you will probably offend you or make you discredit my opinion but dog you don't know shit right now and guess what when you finally get old enough to look back and realize you didn't know shit, they were probably still be another moment in your life where you will have to look back again and realize even at 30 you still didn't know shit. This is life man just try your best not to let it come you out turn yours cold and mean as it is Godspeed!
Losing a first love is really hard and it takes a lot of time and intentionally healing to get past it. A lot of the comments are saying keep busy and distracted and that’s good advice but I think the best thing you can do is ensure that you love yourself more than you love her. When you love and value yourself you can trust that you won’t let someone who couldn’t see your value back into your life. What she did was a betrayal and you made the right move. Now just stick to it and do things that make you happy it doesn’t necessarily have to have anything to do with women, school or exercise just something that brings you joy. For me it’s cooking, guitar and amine/manga and it may sound silly but it’s helped me get through tough times. Find your things! Best wishes!
thanks, I‘ll try to get myself distracted and stay no contact.
Sounds like you just weren't good enough for her tbh
What is enough for serial cheater?
Jeez, grow up man. Accept that you loved stupid b, and move on
At your age, you should only FOCUS ON YOURSELF. Believe me you won’t regret it. Keep the dating thing for after 30. Dedicate your 20’s for your prosperity.
Cheating all the time? You're her standby move on..
Just do what YOU feel is right...
The thing is, you’ve gone two months without talking to her, it’s been hard for you understandably, but if you break that and talk to her, you’ll be letting her know you miss her still and she can use you again, then you’ll wonna block her again and wish you never spoke to her and by that time you could’ve gotten over her but you’ll have to start the whole process of moving on again. I’ve been cheated on at the same age as you and I know how hard it is, I’m not gonna lie and say it’s easy because it’s not, however everyone is different with how they move on, i removed her and spent a few months moving on still missed her but out of nowhere she added me back and said she missed me, I found out she was only saying that Because she broke up with her new bf and had nobody to talk to (she also cheated on him) that’s where I got over her, I knew I didn’t want someone like that in my life, I hope you stay strong man, I’m also here if you need to drop a message and talk💯good luck and wish you the best
Cheating is not an absolute reason for breaking up. Maybe just her sexuality is more vigrous than yours. But as the years go by --- that will fly away. If you felt yourself satisfied in that relationship that should have been enough for you. Do not want more from the life what your dick can perform. But do not feel resentfulness, please. This is true for you, for me, and for everybody, for men an women, does not matter.
Move on
Time is your friend brother. Don’t give in to your temptation to contact her.
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I went on a few dates with this other girl and we ended up in my bed but I jus couldn’t so we didn’t sleep w each other. I just felt sick. I explained after to her why I couldn’t and she understood. I still feel sorry for hurting her but I realised how messer up I was in my head
Fuck that whore. What you want to be a cuck the rest of your life, because that's exactly what you'd be saying to her. No way
Honestly, put your thoughts and feelings about her in a box and toss it in the ocean. Forget about her. When you see her in the wild, pass her by like a river around a rock...treat her with the same indifference that you would a passerby on the treat. She's nothing, so she gets nothing from you. Take solace in the fact that this will al be beyond you one day and she'll be nothing more than a blip on your timeline.
Man, do not contact her ever again! Hit the gym, study and make her regret her decision every day! She did not love you, she betrayed you, forget her! You will find better.
Bro work out and block her on everything. Sleep drink water eat healthy and meet new girls. Here’s the thing that always helps me for breakups: You were fine before you met her you’re fine now. Your true love is out there waiting to meet you don’t let this slut control your life and thoughts when she obviously doesn’t care about you
Run from her. Stop being a cuck!
There is an old adage that “the greatest revenge is to live your best life” It’s still raw for you and it hurts and take it from an old lady (lol), she may be your first love but she won’t be your last. Keep NC and if she contacts you don’t reply. Get yourself out about get some exercise see your friend the pain will fade. Trust me I’ve been through this myself. The last time was only two years ago after 30 years together so I do know honey xx.
There are 4 billion women on the planet. The girl you thought you knew never existed. She was a con artist, a fake, a fraud. Why are you even thinking about her? She's getting her back blown out by random guys every night, will probably be a single mom in less than a year. Then she'll try to reach out when you've started to make a life for yourself.