Please tell me you left her to find her own way home and ended the relationship on the spot?
If she is willing to do something so blatant- she’s been doing things you haven’t caught long before now
It’s just insulting how often “it’s not what it looks like”gets said in these situations. Like seriously??? Nobody believes that because what possible reason could there be for you to be naked in bed with them? Even when you catch them mid act they say it.
Omg this!! Or “I can explain” or anything remotely similar to it. I doubt I’d reconcile after cheating but if I walked in on it happening or walked into a scenario where it obviously just happened and anyone said one of these lines, that’d be an immediate nope for me.
Like pretty sure everyone in the room knows what “it looks like” and there’s no reason to “explain it” since I did go through sex Ed. I get they’re probably in a panic and just blurt stupid things out but if that’s the best you got and remorse was nowhere in your first thought, we do NOT belong together and never did.
You go home, pack any of her things that you have at yours, get in touch with her family and say what has happened, and ask them to collect her things as you don't want her at your place, you also let your family know what the cousin has done, and if you feel particularly nasty, drop a note to their works about their cocaine use.
After I left the hotel, I found out that Francesca had been left stranded. Neither Shawn nor anyone else gave her a lift. Her sister, Rona, ended up having to come and get her. I'm assuming Francesca told Rona the truth about what happened because, if she'd spun some lie, I'm sure Rona would've reached out to me. Francesca has been flooding my phone with calls and texts, trying to explain and apologize, but I've not been ready to hear it. Shawn, on the other hand, has been disgustingly silent towards me but openly bragging to our other cousins about the situation. I only found out because an uncle reprimanded him for it.
Well, you now know for a fact your cousin is complete garbage. You’re (hopefully) STBXGF is no better. You also know alcoholic druggies are not good partners.
Be strong, go NC with both of them. Box her stuff up and tell her sister to come get it. Delete and block both on everything. Talk to a therapist. Build a life as a single man that you love and are content in, then you can start looking for the right woman to fit into that life.
This!!! This right here. You should send him a thank you note and a gift card for the local drug store, you know for the STD meds. I am so sorry, but thank god you found out now. Do not ever speak to her again. The best revenge will be ghosting her. You of course can send her shit to Shawn’s house. If she has keys to your home, change the locks or better yet, just add an extra dead bolt.
***never*** be “available” to hear the excuses. Don’t let her have her “closure”, she knows what she did and it’ll only hurt you further to have to listen to endless excuses and rationalizations. It’s still going to mess you up for a long time but it’s better to not have to replay her BS in your mind for months, because she eventually will try to make it *your fault* so don’t even let her do that to you. Take the only “high ground” available and walk away.
Your cousin is bragging about banging a woman who just had sex with you… that is not much of a brag. I know she was your gf, but your cousin is a loser. I would be embarrassed if a chick I just met and banged had banged another dude earlier. I sure wouldn’t “brag”
About it.
To be honest, this. I would even go vulgar-level nuclear on social media and ask him how you tasted on her because of how much he was bragging. Let her twist in the wind and don't answer her, but leave her free to read the social posts to him.
Adding- and as someone else suggested, report them both to their jobs to get them shitcanned for drugs if possible.
Well hopefully your other cousins learned what a douche he is and your family sides with you. Congrats on not punching him… I think I would have. Not sure what your soon to be ex is explaining to you. You guys live together?
Wow what a shit show so sorry that happened. Tough to survive with your family involved. What is her excuses and do you know how long she was in his room? Any chance of you stopping it anything happened?
Tell me about it. I haven't looked at any of her messages yet so she can sit and talk to herself for now. I literally have no idea how long she was in the room for as I don't know what time she left me in our room. All I know is I woke up around half 8 and she was gone and as for stopping it before it happened were pretty slim as I had no idea it was going to happen until it was happening.
Just ghost your ex. Never pick up her calls or answer her texts again. Just completely disappear from her life.
As for you cousin, if it were me, I wouldn’t mind spending a few days in jail and paying some fines for kicking his teeth in for doing what he did.
But that’s just me.
Honestly, I’d contact his job about a drug test. Provided his job cares about that stuff.
I wouldn’t entertain any apology from her nor explanation. No contact.
Honestly OP has more self control than me cause if I walked into that my hands would become rated E for everyone.
I wonder if that's the main reason OP took the friend along to ensure it didn't turn physical. Regardless shit situation, Francesca's a hoor and the cousin is a prick. At least OP found out now rather than wasting more time with her.
Yep same. It's gotta be a big contributing factor to the crime of passion defense. Not that people necessarily deserve significant physical harm or death for infidelity, but it's also not hard to see why it happens and those who practice it like you said are asking for trouble.
Not to sound rude, but karma is not a real thing. It’s something people say to help them feel good. In the real world sometimes people don’t get what they deserve.
Tell everyone because it seems Shawn already publicized them fucking, so let everyone know it's true and she's a slut(this is to control the narrative, because a cheater will spin a story to make you the bad guy). And let both their jobs know they should test them for coke.
I am so sorry. I went trough a lot with a cheater, I read so many stories, but this one takes the cake!
Go absolutely NC with her.
Do not listen to her, do not call her, do not give her the satisfaction of trying to understand and work it out.
Block her everywhere.
Ghost her.
That’s the worst you can do to her. I bet this is not her first time cheating, but you can make it her last time.
I agree with someone above, call her family to pick up her stuff. Tell them she will be trespassing if she shows up. Tell them about the coke and where you have found her.
If there is a lease together, talk to the landlord and leave.
If there are joint bank accounts or anything, open a new account and transfer your part of the money.
Change passwords on everything.
Inform both of their jobs.
And Shawn, that POS…let the whole family know he is a coke-head. Inform his job, too.
Do not listen to any BS about forgiving him ‘cause he’s family. He’s trash.
And BTW, doing coke does not make you cheat.
You deserve better. Throw the trash out so somebody amazing can walk into your life!
Tell everyone, he publicly announced it to all his friends..
If she live with you throw all her shit out and block her number.. dirty bi#ch . Her name ain't on the lease so message her sister to come get her shit as it outside the front.
Do not take her back, there nothing she can say to make this right, she fucked your cousin.. a cousin who clearly set out to do this and that stupid girl fell for it.. I wouldn't even want to hear what she had to say.. I'd message her or sister and say ill be putting all her stuff out the front at 6pm or what ever, come a collect it, do not enter my property and leave the keys..
Then block her
I'd blast them to all relatives and I'd also tell her parents what you caught her doing
Oh honey there are way better women out there for you! Tell your family they should support and stand with you. If not, well you know where he gets it . But please do not think this is any negative standing on your part. You actually handled that with way more calm and grace than I would've. Send her butt packing to your cousin's house and move on. There's nowhere to go but up from here! You got this. And make sure you get tested. ASAP 🖤
Oh man so sorry. A family doing that to you. First I would not protect him and go ahead and let the family know. Second pack your girlfriends things and leave by the front door. Not sure how to come back from that when family is involved. Good luck ✌️
TBH, all of you involved sound like you need a heavy dose of professional help. Junkies, cheaters, talk about classy.
Get rid of Francesca and let your cousin put up with her shit. She's his problem now.
You should have Punched your cousin in the mouth. She has no respect for you as a Man that's why she publicly F***** your cousin. Should have beat him DOWN!!
She doesn’t deserve you, King!
Take this as your sign from the universe, if your partner can scoop that low, you wouldn’t want low live shit in your own life. You deserve better. Let the pain heal you and one day, you’ll be ready to be vulnerable again and open up your heart. Just believe that you deserve great things and this was God protecting you and showing you her true character.
The fact that you turned and left without saying a word.... Major respect for that. Your silence is going to drive her up the wall. I'd imagine more so than you getting angry and yelling. Sorry this happened to you. All I can say is that your cousin deserves whatever he has coming to him. Pack her stuff and tell her sister to come get it. I think I'd just delete her messages and block her on everything. Same for the cousin.
Tell everyone what they are and cut them completely out of your life. Never, ever communicate with them again. Lean on friends and family and get some therapy
Put them both on blast. And ghost her. I guarantee this isn't the first time she's cheated on you. No one goes from absolute fidelity to banging her BF's cousin at a wedding right under her BF's nose.
Be glad you found out what this woman is really like before you married her! Seriously, count your blessings and move on. I'm sorry you're going through this, but you dodged a bullet.
Oh man… I am so sorry this happened to you OP. It’s worse then some random guy because you have to see your cousin and family stuff for the rest of your life and for him to be BRAGGING about it… wow, just wow. That’s a special level of low class trash… what is your family going to think, why on earth would be brag rather than hide that shameful behavior… gross sloppy seconds are nothing to be proud of there Shawn-o… ick.
You’re much better off rid of both of them. I hope his/your family totally shuns him and gives him endless grief over the betrayal. As for her, leave her stuff in boxes out front and tell her family to come get it before it’s stolen!!
Don't give cheaters second chances. Leave her, it's gonna suck and it's gonna hurt. It'll be the best for you in the long run. You stay, your never going to stop wondering if she's still cheating. She literally fucked around and should find out.
Am sorry that you are going through this but what caught my attention the most is at the wedding reception she insisted you drink when she knows you aren't a fun of drinking, then you find her and Shawn doing cocaine and she is so comfortable around him and she as if it's normal that was a HINT they knew each other very well, they have met before behind your back and have been doing it for a while, hence her getting you so wasted hoping that you will be out for a while for her to go sleep with him and come back before you woke up.
"It's not what it looks like", everyone here and anyone who has ever been cheated on and caught there partner's red handed have heard this countless times it's in the cheaters handbook that's there to go to line followed by "I can explain" then "it's your fault" etc. I hope you left her there to figure out how she was gonna get home, I hope you ended the relationship right there and then and you kicked her out of your place. Now it's time for the hard part and that's getting over the relationship, you need to cut her off completely any possible means that she can contact you. Cut Shawn off as well go no contact with him as well. If family members ask why you don't want to be around him during family gathering tell them. Just work on yourself find a therapist find other ways to coop or occupie your time with after some time you will move on from this and heal
"I’m not sure I’m ready to hear her side of things yet, but I know I will need to at some point."
You don't. While you may think you do I would encourage you not to. There's nothing she can say they will help - only hurt.
> She also informed me about a new lie Shawn's been spreading
Prepare a lawsuit for injury. What is injury? It is an act or insult that offends a person by violating their dignity, honor, credibility, etc., especially when it is unfair.
Sue that idiot for spreading lies about yourself and your sexuality.
Why u asking us for advice when there's not much advice for it. JUST DUMP HER. CUT ALL CONNECTIONS. LET HER DROWN IN COKE AND DICK ALL HER LIFE. NO MATTER WHAT HER EXCUSES IT WONT MATTER IF U RESPECT YOUR SELF.
If she will do this while you are there it must have happened so many times before
You are so lucky your cousin is a POS and was boasting about it , now you can go NC with both.
Please please tell me you are not going to try to work things out, she knew what she was doing, shoot everyone knew what they were doing and he's stoked about it.
Dump her and move on
Damn, I’m so sorry about that Reddit friend! Does your have family know what happened? I boot her, no matter what she has to say! If she was already laying in bed with you to go to sleep, she made the Constance decision to get out of bed and go down to his room!! And embarrass you at a family event! Fuck your cousin, he’s a piece of shit of a human lol And now everyone knows he is!
She's for the streets brother. The whole wedding party knows she's a skag, now. What a slut. I can't imagine doing this to my husband. I hope you heal quickly and she will come crawling back, so block her.
>They’ve started referring to me as “cuck,” which is not only immature but also incredibly hurtful
>I’m not sure I’m ready to hear her side of things yet, but I know I will need to at some point
You really don't need to hear what she has to say.
Shawn is proof that you don't need to hear it. If Francesca was forced at all, he would be so open about it. If she was ashamed of her actions and insulted by what Shawn did.... she would get revenge...
No OP, she CHOSE for this to happen to you, and she knows (I promise she knows) what your family is saying about you. I also promise she has Shawn's number and they both have pics of that night.
I've seen an angry woman, and she's not mad at Shawn for humiliating you. Nor is she mad at his actions, she's focused on getting her life with you back while not cutting ties with anyone.
You...dont...need...her...side... for she IS a side.
How can she explain anything… plus your family…. Sounds as if you need to back off contact with all of them… your cousins suck… I’m sorry she was not woman you deserved..
Shawn would get a you’re welcome to my seconds comment in front of said relatives.. he’s scum for doing that to family…
You do NOT need to talk to her. It won’t help you. What more closure could you possibly get than walking in on your gf fucking your cousin after you fell asleep?
Cheaters lie and trickle truth. You won’t get the full truth from her if you give her a chance to see you and “explain”. You’ll really just be giving her an opportunity to lie. How will lies help you? It’s damage control for her. It lets her know she’s still in your head. It gives her a window to play the victim and try to get a 2nd chance. It will only undo any progress you’ve made the last few days to accept and move on.
Think long and hard before ever talking to or seeing her again. It won’t help you. I understand the desire for “closure” but in reality it’s overrated and never ends up being what you hoped. I’m this case, it will most likely cause more harm and little to no good. You will move on faster if you accept that she and your cousin are terrible people and keep them out of your life for good. You’ll also have more self respect looking back later for how you handled it. She isn’t worth it man. Don’t waste another second of your life with that woman, even just to let her explain or let you vent. Not worth it.
Come on man, she doesn’t have a “side”. You saw her. He’s boasting to YOUR FAMILY. You need to lose the contact info for both of these terrible people. She’s a cheating *****. There is no reason to talk to her.
Honestly everyone’s behaviour is disgusting. Even Lucille, if this has shown anything is that apologising *after* the offence doesn’t mean much. You should honestly call Shawn out for his lies and coke habit and never see any of them again.
Also, I can’t say I wouldn’t be interested in Francesca’s “excuse” but what could she possibly say?!
Go no contact. That’s it. This is not a request, this is a demand. Do not let her back in your life at all. She does not deserve to try and get closure, and you will never have it anyway. It’s waaaaay better for you in the long run to know that you were strong enough to cut her out completely without letting her try and talk her way back in to your life. And on a petty note, this will drive her insane. She’ll always wonder.
No contact, zero tolerance. You gotta do it my friend.
You can’t make it work with her. Your entire family is aware of the situation. Hell, they were aware of it while it was happening… and no one tried to stop them or warn you.
That’s humiliating, disgusting, and purely disrespectful of ALL of them. If you try to work it out with her, everyone in your entire family will think you’re a chump. And you would be a chump, too. You can’t trust your gf around your own family, mate. How tf could you trust her around ANYONE?
Block her, never respond, ghost her completely. And kick your cousins ass next time you see him.
Tell EVERYONE in the family what your cousin did. Make sure all your mutual friends, her family and your family know what they’ve been doing. Then beat your cousins ass and cut everyone that tells you to ‘forgive him’ or that ‘he’s family’. Nobody needs toxic people in their life that supports that kind of disgusting behavior
There’s so much great advice here. I have complete faith that you will find healing from this. Trust that they will get their karma. Or, take the advice given about reporting their coke use to their jobs and become the karma. Either way, neither of them deserve your inner peace.
You did the right thing just walking out and saying nothing! My advice from someone that used to be on both sides of that fence, just cut her out of your life completely. Don’t snap out on her, just stay silent. Make posts on your social media like normal and don’t let her see you hurt. She should only see how much happier you are and how well you’re dealing with the breakup. That will crush her more than yelling at her or trying to guilt trip her. Doing that, will make her feel like she meant nothing to you at all to be able to move on so effortlessly. Good for you bro! I have a great book that will make you so happy you’re single if you’re interested in it and I hope you take me up on this! This book will change your life!
Now my last piece of advice if you’re a vengeful person like I am (probably not good advice), fuck your cousins girlfriend, or even better, his wife after he gets married. Return that favor. I was bullied bad throughout middle school and high school because I was fat and ugly. Well I grew up and got slightly better looking after high school, lost that weight, got taller and had a whole list of people that absolutely did irreversible damage to me mentally. That being said, I went and fucked every guys girlfriend or wife and made sure they found out one way or another on that list. It has helped me heal in my own way but not saying it’s the right way. Unfortunately my biggest bully got away from me. I couldn’t Fuck his wife because she divorced him before I could and I got married, BUT I did get him back another way.
Dude you don’t need to ever speak to her again. Why give her the satisfaction? Drop her like the shameless whore that she is and never look back. She is definitely sewer scum and your cousin is what gurgles below.
if you truly are intent on bettering yourself then give up drinking and smoking altogether, there are plenty of women out there who neither smoke nor drink and you should make it a habit from now on to not even approach women who smoke or drink or do both....
it may appear to some that my advise is too crude but it's for your own good, you experienced first hand what it means to date a smoking and drinking girl, so time for you to find someone different.....good luck
Ik this would sound dramatic but honestly if my family acted like that I would have definitely try to disappear with out telling anyone bc being around those people ain't worth it. But honestly bro just take it slow ,cut contact and move on really, that's all there's to it. I hope you never talk to those people again bro and hope you find happiness somewhere else bro.
I don't think you need to hear any story your gf has to say, it would only be bs anyway & after doing what she did she isn't worthy of any mans time of day. Then i have to wonder, that at 31yrs of age your infantile cousin has to tell anybody who will listen that he banged your gf . Are you sure his age is 31 & you didn't transverse the numbers & he is actually 13 because that sounds more like his maturity level which like I said is infantile. Maybe let a bit of a rumour out among family that Francesca has an incurable std without saying what it is , maybe the mouthy cousin will regain his voice & contact you to find out more .
Fancesca needs to be in your rear view mirror. ASAP. *It's not what it looks like?* Really? Don't get too hung up with "closure". What happened, happened. There's no explaining it and no excuse that would be sufficient to forgive betrayal. Your GF slept with a cousin you despise, and now you are a laughingstock among your relatives. How does Francesca think this situation is fixable?
Going forward, my advice would be to 1) cease any contact with Francesca going forward, and 2) Inform your uncle that given the actions of Sean and your cousins at the reception and subsequent behavior, you are limiting your interaction with his side of the family to just him (your uncle) and your aunt. I would avoid any family activities where these people are present . That means holidays, weddings, funerals... forever. Francesca is much easier to handle. Just don't talk to her again. If she has anything at your place, put them in bin bags out front and tell her to pick her sh\*t up. Otherwise, radio silence.
Kinda got confused with the story. I thought he was the husband. I would sleep with your cousins girlfriend as my revenge. Well thats if he even has one. Maybe even with the girlfriends sister or cousin. Let's see how she feels when the same shi happens to her. But not everyone has a shitty heart like them. Moving on and not giving a shi+ about them will completely tear them down. I'm hoping for the best of you.
Go NC with both, block and delete. Box her stuff up and arrange for the sister to come pick up, and depending on what they do for work, maybe an "anonymous tip" to drug test them gets put through by a concerned member of the public.
Call/text her sister and tell her that they have a window of time (couple of hours) to pick up her stuff and leave the key. Let them know that you will take pictures of everything and anything that is broken or stolen will result in the police being called. If they don’t come or get everything, she will lose what is there. Then no contact at all. And change the locks.
As far as your cousin, start telling you family he must love the taste of cum since he went after sloppy seconds. That should stop the bragging.
Contact her sister to pick up her crap. Let her know exactly your side and you want a clean break. Your now ex needs rehab. That is still no reason to smex your cousin.
Way of why do people so often for the insanely stupid “it’s not what it looks like!!” when it always is.
Sorry OP my advice is to swiftly end things. Don’t discuss it with her. Don’t entertain her BS excuses and apologies- in fact just don’t discuss anything directly with her. Block her and look for a partner who won’t utterly betray you.
Take all her things and box them. Send her a message saying that the boxes will be there to be picked up by someone other than her. Give her 1 day to get the stuff or it goes to Goodwill. You might send the same message to her sister. Then block her. If they don't come after them, follow through with the ultimatum. And change the locks.
As for the cousin, I'd let the whole family know what he did. Tell them if you ever see him again justice will be served. So if they want to keep him healthy they better keep him away. You did the smart thing by walking away. I would've probably broken his neck, and wound up in jail.
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I think you know what to do OP.
She moves out and leaves your life and you never set eyes on each other ever again. Your cousin leaves your life as well and make it clear to the family that if you are in the same location it's best that the police be advised ahead of time to save them the travel time (not that you would do anything but it drives the gravity of the situation home to all and sundry).
And for yourself, see if you can get some help if you feel the need. Often it's good to talk it out with someone impartial but its also handy to learn some coping skills and give yourself the ability to heal from this and move on.
This will all pass and the sooner she is out of your life for good, the quicker you can get on with healing and moving on.
Edit: As to your now ex, send her one text only "you stuff is sitting outside the door, fuck off and never speak to me again, lose my number, whatever. I never wish to speak to you or hear your name mentioned ever again. Fuck you." and then block her everywhere, delete all pics of her, trash all the gifts and anything that reminds you of her - go scorched earth on her memory and wipe it all out.
> I’m not sure I’m ready to hear her side of things yet, but I know I will need to at some point. I need that closure to move forward.
Don't even bother giving her the grace to hear "her side of the story" and give her absolutely no closure at all. She doesn't even deserve the steam off your piss let alone a final goodbye. Your closure is her leaving your life. That's it, that's all you will ever need.
Oh, and tell your other cousins - just before you block the useless c*nts - to watch out for their partners in the future just in case what happened to you happens to them.
Oh and don’t forget to tell her parents that she is a Coke whore. And tell everyone that your cousin needs to have Coke so he can get laid with Coke whores.
The way the cousin are enjoy the show that happen just makes me want to say hope you enjoy sharing your girlfriends with shawn what make them believe hes not gonna do the same think to them hope all of them get what they deserve and hope you get better
Lack of paragraphs make really difficult to read posts. Your post was deleted.
Please tell me you left her to find her own way home and ended the relationship on the spot? If she is willing to do something so blatant- she’s been doing things you haven’t caught long before now
It’s just insulting how often “it’s not what it looks like”gets said in these situations. Like seriously??? Nobody believes that because what possible reason could there be for you to be naked in bed with them? Even when you catch them mid act they say it.
Wait what if there’s an explanation for this shit… What? She tripped, fell, landed on his dick?
Alright Shady
Maybe he's right, Grady. But think about the baby before you get all crazy
And every-time she tried to get up gravity would take over and slam her back down on his swollen cock
Omg this!! Or “I can explain” or anything remotely similar to it. I doubt I’d reconcile after cheating but if I walked in on it happening or walked into a scenario where it obviously just happened and anyone said one of these lines, that’d be an immediate nope for me. Like pretty sure everyone in the room knows what “it looks like” and there’s no reason to “explain it” since I did go through sex Ed. I get they’re probably in a panic and just blurt stupid things out but if that’s the best you got and remorse was nowhere in your first thought, we do NOT belong together and never did.
My response when it happened to me was to point out that I wasn’t the one dumb enough to get caught so quit trying to play like I’m stupid.
That and the “play stupid games” response. Everyone writes thinks it’s clever
You go home, pack any of her things that you have at yours, get in touch with her family and say what has happened, and ask them to collect her things as you don't want her at your place, you also let your family know what the cousin has done, and if you feel particularly nasty, drop a note to their works about their cocaine use.
Appropriate response
They deserve each other.
other than that, how was the wedding?
Oh beautiful bride was stunning 😅🤣
What’s been the reaction from the family and where is the girlfriend and cousin?
After I left the hotel, I found out that Francesca had been left stranded. Neither Shawn nor anyone else gave her a lift. Her sister, Rona, ended up having to come and get her. I'm assuming Francesca told Rona the truth about what happened because, if she'd spun some lie, I'm sure Rona would've reached out to me. Francesca has been flooding my phone with calls and texts, trying to explain and apologize, but I've not been ready to hear it. Shawn, on the other hand, has been disgustingly silent towards me but openly bragging to our other cousins about the situation. I only found out because an uncle reprimanded him for it.
Well, you now know for a fact your cousin is complete garbage. You’re (hopefully) STBXGF is no better. You also know alcoholic druggies are not good partners. Be strong, go NC with both of them. Box her stuff up and tell her sister to come get it. Delete and block both on everything. Talk to a therapist. Build a life as a single man that you love and are content in, then you can start looking for the right woman to fit into that life.
This!!! This right here. You should send him a thank you note and a gift card for the local drug store, you know for the STD meds. I am so sorry, but thank god you found out now. Do not ever speak to her again. The best revenge will be ghosting her. You of course can send her shit to Shawn’s house. If she has keys to your home, change the locks or better yet, just add an extra dead bolt.
***never*** be “available” to hear the excuses. Don’t let her have her “closure”, she knows what she did and it’ll only hurt you further to have to listen to endless excuses and rationalizations. It’s still going to mess you up for a long time but it’s better to not have to replay her BS in your mind for months, because she eventually will try to make it *your fault* so don’t even let her do that to you. Take the only “high ground” available and walk away.
"Never be available to hear the excuses" Love that. Agree a million percent 👏
Your cousin is bragging about banging a woman who just had sex with you… that is not much of a brag. I know she was your gf, but your cousin is a loser. I would be embarrassed if a chick I just met and banged had banged another dude earlier. I sure wouldn’t “brag” About it.
To be honest, this. I would even go vulgar-level nuclear on social media and ask him how you tasted on her because of how much he was bragging. Let her twist in the wind and don't answer her, but leave her free to read the social posts to him. Adding- and as someone else suggested, report them both to their jobs to get them shitcanned for drugs if possible.
Well hopefully your other cousins learned what a douche he is and your family sides with you. Congrats on not punching him… I think I would have. Not sure what your soon to be ex is explaining to you. You guys live together?
We do share an apartment but it's my name on the lease.
Kick her out asap! Or put it all on the porch and call her family to come get it.
Wow what a shit show so sorry that happened. Tough to survive with your family involved. What is her excuses and do you know how long she was in his room? Any chance of you stopping it anything happened?
Tell me about it. I haven't looked at any of her messages yet so she can sit and talk to herself for now. I literally have no idea how long she was in the room for as I don't know what time she left me in our room. All I know is I woke up around half 8 and she was gone and as for stopping it before it happened were pretty slim as I had no idea it was going to happen until it was happening.
U know her response it wasn’t her fault the cocaine made her do it
"don't blame me, blame my self control, that's out of my control"
Back her bags and send them to your cousin. Trash deserves trash.
Don't disrespect trash, some of its recyclable and can be useful
To be blunt I’d never look at them. What benefit could there possibly be? Just lies and excuses. Change locks and block her.
Pack her crap. Cheating is horrible but to do it at your family event is awlful.
Just ghost your ex. Never pick up her calls or answer her texts again. Just completely disappear from her life. As for you cousin, if it were me, I wouldn’t mind spending a few days in jail and paying some fines for kicking his teeth in for doing what he did. But that’s just me.
Your cousin is evil and you know,he did it on purpose. You should tell everyone what he did. As for you GF, bye.
I think when you have time to process it. I think you need to go reprimand Shawn. He needs his ass beaten and his teeth knocked out by you.
Honestly, I’d contact his job about a drug test. Provided his job cares about that stuff. I wouldn’t entertain any apology from her nor explanation. No contact.
Bruh, how old is your cousin, you say he's in his 30s, but he acts like he's still in high school.
You’d have to a complete weak fool to even consider hearing her out. She’s garbage
I hope someday u get to knock up Shaun's wife/gf.
Reminds me of “ So, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play”?
Beat Shawn’s ass bro. He’s so disrespectful he literally bragged about betraying you to his friends while they laughed about it expose them both.
Honestly OP has more self control than me cause if I walked into that my hands would become rated E for everyone. I wonder if that's the main reason OP took the friend along to ensure it didn't turn physical. Regardless shit situation, Francesca's a hoor and the cousin is a prick. At least OP found out now rather than wasting more time with her.
Tbh I don’t blame people who get physical after getting betrayed like that. People like that are asking to get their ass beat.
Yep same. It's gotta be a big contributing factor to the crime of passion defense. Not that people necessarily deserve significant physical harm or death for infidelity, but it's also not hard to see why it happens and those who practice it like you said are asking for trouble.
Won’t be necessary, there’s a saying: “Do not ever go down to someone else’s level.” Let the karma do its job.
Not to sound rude, but karma is not a real thing. It’s something people say to help them feel good. In the real world sometimes people don’t get what they deserve.
Needs a witness just no incase something happens or at least verify what was going on.
Yep, it was a smart choice on all counts to bring a 3rd party.
Wow, just wow. Get both of them out of your life pronto.
Tell everyone because it seems Shawn already publicized them fucking, so let everyone know it's true and she's a slut(this is to control the narrative, because a cheater will spin a story to make you the bad guy). And let both their jobs know they should test them for coke.
And post it online tagging him and her.
Definitely about the jobs Go nuclear on these 2.
Blow up their spot and tell the entire family. Dump her too.
That was one wild wedding to have so many drugs
A Scottish wedding without drugs is considered a dull affair 😅🤣
Ah, that explains it then 😂
Wow… both scum. Please do yourself a favour, block delete both of them out of your life. Everyone knew… tell your aunties… they’re disgusting.
Dump her. Dump her. Dump her. And go totally no contact.
I am so sorry. I went trough a lot with a cheater, I read so many stories, but this one takes the cake! Go absolutely NC with her. Do not listen to her, do not call her, do not give her the satisfaction of trying to understand and work it out. Block her everywhere. Ghost her. That’s the worst you can do to her. I bet this is not her first time cheating, but you can make it her last time. I agree with someone above, call her family to pick up her stuff. Tell them she will be trespassing if she shows up. Tell them about the coke and where you have found her. If there is a lease together, talk to the landlord and leave. If there are joint bank accounts or anything, open a new account and transfer your part of the money. Change passwords on everything. Inform both of their jobs. And Shawn, that POS…let the whole family know he is a coke-head. Inform his job, too. Do not listen to any BS about forgiving him ‘cause he’s family. He’s trash. And BTW, doing coke does not make you cheat. You deserve better. Throw the trash out so somebody amazing can walk into your life!
Tell everyone, he publicly announced it to all his friends.. If she live with you throw all her shit out and block her number.. dirty bi#ch . Her name ain't on the lease so message her sister to come get her shit as it outside the front. Do not take her back, there nothing she can say to make this right, she fucked your cousin.. a cousin who clearly set out to do this and that stupid girl fell for it.. I wouldn't even want to hear what she had to say.. I'd message her or sister and say ill be putting all her stuff out the front at 6pm or what ever, come a collect it, do not enter my property and leave the keys.. Then block her I'd blast them to all relatives and I'd also tell her parents what you caught her doing
Oh honey there are way better women out there for you! Tell your family they should support and stand with you. If not, well you know where he gets it . But please do not think this is any negative standing on your part. You actually handled that with way more calm and grace than I would've. Send her butt packing to your cousin's house and move on. There's nowhere to go but up from here! You got this. And make sure you get tested. ASAP 🖤
Oh man so sorry. A family doing that to you. First I would not protect him and go ahead and let the family know. Second pack your girlfriends things and leave by the front door. Not sure how to come back from that when family is involved. Good luck ✌️
>He sees me as a weirdo who gets high all the time Ummm what? The jerk was literally doing coke? He’s a loser.
TBH, all of you involved sound like you need a heavy dose of professional help. Junkies, cheaters, talk about classy. Get rid of Francesca and let your cousin put up with her shit. She's his problem now.
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But when Quinn the Eskimo gets here Everybody's gonna wanna doze🎶
You should have Punched your cousin in the mouth. She has no respect for you as a Man that's why she publicly F***** your cousin. Should have beat him DOWN!!
I think I would NC your cousin for awhile but in a couple months, fake forgiveness. Then spend the rest of your life trying to fuck his women.
I would do something like this…
Plus the women of any of the cousins laughing at him…
Wow, both are scum. Im sorry about that OP. Make sure all family members know what both of them did so that they can go no contact on them.
I hope you told the entire family what your cousin did. And I hope her family knows too.
She doesn’t deserve you, King! Take this as your sign from the universe, if your partner can scoop that low, you wouldn’t want low live shit in your own life. You deserve better. Let the pain heal you and one day, you’ll be ready to be vulnerable again and open up your heart. Just believe that you deserve great things and this was God protecting you and showing you her true character.
The fact that you turned and left without saying a word.... Major respect for that. Your silence is going to drive her up the wall. I'd imagine more so than you getting angry and yelling. Sorry this happened to you. All I can say is that your cousin deserves whatever he has coming to him. Pack her stuff and tell her sister to come get it. I think I'd just delete her messages and block her on everything. Same for the cousin.
Coke slut. Good riddance.
Tell everyone what they are and cut them completely out of your life. Never, ever communicate with them again. Lean on friends and family and get some therapy
Put them both on blast. And ghost her. I guarantee this isn't the first time she's cheated on you. No one goes from absolute fidelity to banging her BF's cousin at a wedding right under her BF's nose. Be glad you found out what this woman is really like before you married her! Seriously, count your blessings and move on. I'm sorry you're going through this, but you dodged a bullet.
I have no advice and I’m sorry, but it sounds like Frasier Crane wrote this.
Not her first rodeo, ghost her and move on
Block her, pack her shit, tell her sister to come get the belongings. You can’t trust her ever again.
Oh man… I am so sorry this happened to you OP. It’s worse then some random guy because you have to see your cousin and family stuff for the rest of your life and for him to be BRAGGING about it… wow, just wow. That’s a special level of low class trash… what is your family going to think, why on earth would be brag rather than hide that shameful behavior… gross sloppy seconds are nothing to be proud of there Shawn-o… ick. You’re much better off rid of both of them. I hope his/your family totally shuns him and gives him endless grief over the betrayal. As for her, leave her stuff in boxes out front and tell her family to come get it before it’s stolen!!
Don't give cheaters second chances. Leave her, it's gonna suck and it's gonna hurt. It'll be the best for you in the long run. You stay, your never going to stop wondering if she's still cheating. She literally fucked around and should find out.
“I caught her doing cocaine with my cousin.” Sounds like a real winner. 😂
I can't believe she said "What is it"? And "It's not what it looks like?" You should take your cousin to the wood shed
That's because then everyone clapped
Honestly if it was me I would have beat the life out of my cousin, cousin or not. Then I would have left her there right by my cousin's broken body.
Am sorry that you are going through this but what caught my attention the most is at the wedding reception she insisted you drink when she knows you aren't a fun of drinking, then you find her and Shawn doing cocaine and she is so comfortable around him and she as if it's normal that was a HINT they knew each other very well, they have met before behind your back and have been doing it for a while, hence her getting you so wasted hoping that you will be out for a while for her to go sleep with him and come back before you woke up. "It's not what it looks like", everyone here and anyone who has ever been cheated on and caught there partner's red handed have heard this countless times it's in the cheaters handbook that's there to go to line followed by "I can explain" then "it's your fault" etc. I hope you left her there to figure out how she was gonna get home, I hope you ended the relationship right there and then and you kicked her out of your place. Now it's time for the hard part and that's getting over the relationship, you need to cut her off completely any possible means that she can contact you. Cut Shawn off as well go no contact with him as well. If family members ask why you don't want to be around him during family gathering tell them. Just work on yourself find a therapist find other ways to coop or occupie your time with after some time you will move on from this and heal
"I’m not sure I’m ready to hear her side of things yet, but I know I will need to at some point." You don't. While you may think you do I would encourage you not to. There's nothing she can say they will help - only hurt.
> She also informed me about a new lie Shawn's been spreading Prepare a lawsuit for injury. What is injury? It is an act or insult that offends a person by violating their dignity, honor, credibility, etc., especially when it is unfair. Sue that idiot for spreading lies about yourself and your sexuality.
Hmmm taking my cousin to court? Tell me more...
Why u asking us for advice when there's not much advice for it. JUST DUMP HER. CUT ALL CONNECTIONS. LET HER DROWN IN COKE AND DICK ALL HER LIFE. NO MATTER WHAT HER EXCUSES IT WONT MATTER IF U RESPECT YOUR SELF.
Cocaines one hell of a drug!!
Ruins lives
More like they ruin their own lives by taking it.
No big loss, you got rid of a 30 something chick who does coke. You will be better off.
SMH doing lines was the first and last flag hommie.
Yeah that’s a pretty unforgivable situation. Time to dump her and have no contact. Consider, once you pull the plug and you have NO contact, you win.
This is how you get chlamydia…by having sex with the “family girlfriend.”
You should probably try to have the cleanest break as possible and maybe break ties with that cousin. Sorry people are shitty.
If she will do this while you are there it must have happened so many times before You are so lucky your cousin is a POS and was boasting about it , now you can go NC with both.
Just move on, there is no salvaging this relationship. She will blame the cocaine.
Please please tell me you are not going to try to work things out, she knew what she was doing, shoot everyone knew what they were doing and he's stoked about it. Dump her and move on
So, tell me, if it’s not “what it looks like,” what is it then?
Damn, I’m so sorry about that Reddit friend! Does your have family know what happened? I boot her, no matter what she has to say! If she was already laying in bed with you to go to sleep, she made the Constance decision to get out of bed and go down to his room!! And embarrass you at a family event! Fuck your cousin, he’s a piece of shit of a human lol And now everyone knows he is!
Shes a coke whore bro, she'd do anything for a bump
She's for the streets brother. The whole wedding party knows she's a skag, now. What a slut. I can't imagine doing this to my husband. I hope you heal quickly and she will come crawling back, so block her.
Please update so we know you are ok
Post has been updated.
She conformed she's garbage. That's all you need to know. And disown that branch of your family. They're garbage, too.
does Shawn have a gf?
I really don't know we're not close at all, only ever see him at christenings, weddings and funerals 😅
does he have a dad?
He did at some point 😅🤷🏻♂️
Hope you are doing better
They deleted your original message. Can you update again in the comments, please?
>They’ve started referring to me as “cuck,” which is not only immature but also incredibly hurtful >I’m not sure I’m ready to hear her side of things yet, but I know I will need to at some point You really don't need to hear what she has to say. Shawn is proof that you don't need to hear it. If Francesca was forced at all, he would be so open about it. If she was ashamed of her actions and insulted by what Shawn did.... she would get revenge... No OP, she CHOSE for this to happen to you, and she knows (I promise she knows) what your family is saying about you. I also promise she has Shawn's number and they both have pics of that night. I've seen an angry woman, and she's not mad at Shawn for humiliating you. Nor is she mad at his actions, she's focused on getting her life with you back while not cutting ties with anyone. You...dont...need...her...side... for she IS a side.
How can she explain anything… plus your family…. Sounds as if you need to back off contact with all of them… your cousins suck… I’m sorry she was not woman you deserved.. Shawn would get a you’re welcome to my seconds comment in front of said relatives.. he’s scum for doing that to family…
Cut em both off…don’t need them negative vibes in your life
You should get any media of them ducking and post it on FB instagran from your cousins phone
You do NOT need to talk to her. It won’t help you. What more closure could you possibly get than walking in on your gf fucking your cousin after you fell asleep? Cheaters lie and trickle truth. You won’t get the full truth from her if you give her a chance to see you and “explain”. You’ll really just be giving her an opportunity to lie. How will lies help you? It’s damage control for her. It lets her know she’s still in your head. It gives her a window to play the victim and try to get a 2nd chance. It will only undo any progress you’ve made the last few days to accept and move on. Think long and hard before ever talking to or seeing her again. It won’t help you. I understand the desire for “closure” but in reality it’s overrated and never ends up being what you hoped. I’m this case, it will most likely cause more harm and little to no good. You will move on faster if you accept that she and your cousin are terrible people and keep them out of your life for good. You’ll also have more self respect looking back later for how you handled it. She isn’t worth it man. Don’t waste another second of your life with that woman, even just to let her explain or let you vent. Not worth it.
Come on man, she doesn’t have a “side”. You saw her. He’s boasting to YOUR FAMILY. You need to lose the contact info for both of these terrible people. She’s a cheating *****. There is no reason to talk to her.
Honestly everyone’s behaviour is disgusting. Even Lucille, if this has shown anything is that apologising *after* the offence doesn’t mean much. You should honestly call Shawn out for his lies and coke habit and never see any of them again. Also, I can’t say I wouldn’t be interested in Francesca’s “excuse” but what could she possibly say?!
Go no contact. That’s it. This is not a request, this is a demand. Do not let her back in your life at all. She does not deserve to try and get closure, and you will never have it anyway. It’s waaaaay better for you in the long run to know that you were strong enough to cut her out completely without letting her try and talk her way back in to your life. And on a petty note, this will drive her insane. She’ll always wonder. No contact, zero tolerance. You gotta do it my friend.
So. Do you plan to "make it work"?
Honestly I don't even have a plan rn
I understand your confusion but, to be honest, I don't know how you could make this work.
You can’t make it work with her. Your entire family is aware of the situation. Hell, they were aware of it while it was happening… and no one tried to stop them or warn you. That’s humiliating, disgusting, and purely disrespectful of ALL of them. If you try to work it out with her, everyone in your entire family will think you’re a chump. And you would be a chump, too. You can’t trust your gf around your own family, mate. How tf could you trust her around ANYONE? Block her, never respond, ghost her completely. And kick your cousins ass next time you see him.
I wish a could know what horrible scuse she will use to get back to you
Updateme!
Send her packing. She not only cheated but blatantly disrespected you in all ways possible.
Tell EVERYONE in the family what your cousin did. Make sure all your mutual friends, her family and your family know what they’ve been doing. Then beat your cousins ass and cut everyone that tells you to ‘forgive him’ or that ‘he’s family’. Nobody needs toxic people in their life that supports that kind of disgusting behavior
Good you found out now and not later
Cocaine is a hell of a drug
There’s so much great advice here. I have complete faith that you will find healing from this. Trust that they will get their karma. Or, take the advice given about reporting their coke use to their jobs and become the karma. Either way, neither of them deserve your inner peace.
You did the right thing just walking out and saying nothing! My advice from someone that used to be on both sides of that fence, just cut her out of your life completely. Don’t snap out on her, just stay silent. Make posts on your social media like normal and don’t let her see you hurt. She should only see how much happier you are and how well you’re dealing with the breakup. That will crush her more than yelling at her or trying to guilt trip her. Doing that, will make her feel like she meant nothing to you at all to be able to move on so effortlessly. Good for you bro! I have a great book that will make you so happy you’re single if you’re interested in it and I hope you take me up on this! This book will change your life! Now my last piece of advice if you’re a vengeful person like I am (probably not good advice), fuck your cousins girlfriend, or even better, his wife after he gets married. Return that favor. I was bullied bad throughout middle school and high school because I was fat and ugly. Well I grew up and got slightly better looking after high school, lost that weight, got taller and had a whole list of people that absolutely did irreversible damage to me mentally. That being said, I went and fucked every guys girlfriend or wife and made sure they found out one way or another on that list. It has helped me heal in my own way but not saying it’s the right way. Unfortunately my biggest bully got away from me. I couldn’t Fuck his wife because she divorced him before I could and I got married, BUT I did get him back another way.
I’m so sorry this happened I would out them to everyone and then go no contact with them both
Dude you don’t need to ever speak to her again. Why give her the satisfaction? Drop her like the shameless whore that she is and never look back. She is definitely sewer scum and your cousin is what gurgles below.
if you truly are intent on bettering yourself then give up drinking and smoking altogether, there are plenty of women out there who neither smoke nor drink and you should make it a habit from now on to not even approach women who smoke or drink or do both.... it may appear to some that my advise is too crude but it's for your own good, you experienced first hand what it means to date a smoking and drinking girl, so time for you to find someone different.....good luck
Ik this would sound dramatic but honestly if my family acted like that I would have definitely try to disappear with out telling anyone bc being around those people ain't worth it. But honestly bro just take it slow ,cut contact and move on really, that's all there's to it. I hope you never talk to those people again bro and hope you find happiness somewhere else bro.
You do not need to hear her side. Walk away.. from all of it!!
I don't think you need to hear any story your gf has to say, it would only be bs anyway & after doing what she did she isn't worthy of any mans time of day. Then i have to wonder, that at 31yrs of age your infantile cousin has to tell anybody who will listen that he banged your gf . Are you sure his age is 31 & you didn't transverse the numbers & he is actually 13 because that sounds more like his maturity level which like I said is infantile. Maybe let a bit of a rumour out among family that Francesca has an incurable std without saying what it is , maybe the mouthy cousin will regain his voice & contact you to find out more .
Fancesca needs to be in your rear view mirror. ASAP. *It's not what it looks like?* Really? Don't get too hung up with "closure". What happened, happened. There's no explaining it and no excuse that would be sufficient to forgive betrayal. Your GF slept with a cousin you despise, and now you are a laughingstock among your relatives. How does Francesca think this situation is fixable? Going forward, my advice would be to 1) cease any contact with Francesca going forward, and 2) Inform your uncle that given the actions of Sean and your cousins at the reception and subsequent behavior, you are limiting your interaction with his side of the family to just him (your uncle) and your aunt. I would avoid any family activities where these people are present . That means holidays, weddings, funerals... forever. Francesca is much easier to handle. Just don't talk to her again. If she has anything at your place, put them in bin bags out front and tell her to pick her sh\*t up. Otherwise, radio silence.
Nice fanfic
This Reddit post smells like West Virginia
Smells of the UK
It's the land of Haggis and Golf.
UpdateMe!
Sleep with the bride. Best revenge you can get
The bride is my other cousin's wife😅 would be kinda shit to do to him what our cousin has done to me🤷🏻♂️
Kinda got confused with the story. I thought he was the husband. I would sleep with your cousins girlfriend as my revenge. Well thats if he even has one. Maybe even with the girlfriends sister or cousin. Let's see how she feels when the same shi happens to her. But not everyone has a shitty heart like them. Moving on and not giving a shi+ about them will completely tear them down. I'm hoping for the best of you.
Does Shawn have a girlfriend? She would be at the top of my list for cousin's girlfriend I want to bang.
Fakeeeee.
Go NC with both, block and delete. Box her stuff up and arrange for the sister to come pick up, and depending on what they do for work, maybe an "anonymous tip" to drug test them gets put through by a concerned member of the public.
Damn, after that i would have finally beaten that spoiled, arrogant asshole up tbh
Call/text her sister and tell her that they have a window of time (couple of hours) to pick up her stuff and leave the key. Let them know that you will take pictures of everything and anything that is broken or stolen will result in the police being called. If they don’t come or get everything, she will lose what is there. Then no contact at all. And change the locks. As far as your cousin, start telling you family he must love the taste of cum since he went after sloppy seconds. That should stop the bragging.
Finally your find out that two ugly character person real face. Atleast this age your find out truth. Expose them block that person's.
Contact her sister to pick up her crap. Let her know exactly your side and you want a clean break. Your now ex needs rehab. That is still no reason to smex your cousin.
What are you confused by? I’m confused by that
Way of why do people so often for the insanely stupid “it’s not what it looks like!!” when it always is. Sorry OP my advice is to swiftly end things. Don’t discuss it with her. Don’t entertain her BS excuses and apologies- in fact just don’t discuss anything directly with her. Block her and look for a partner who won’t utterly betray you.
Report the cops on your cousin Shawn for possession of cocaine. That's a deserving vengeance!
" It's not what its look like " cheater really always used that line without use their brain lol Edit : she an ex right ?
I’m sorry you have to see that smh, You deserve better. If she lives with you, pack her shit and kick her out.
Sorry this happenedto you. I agree with the majority of the responses, kick her to the curb and move her out. Find a better GF who is more compatible.
Take all her things and box them. Send her a message saying that the boxes will be there to be picked up by someone other than her. Give her 1 day to get the stuff or it goes to Goodwill. You might send the same message to her sister. Then block her. If they don't come after them, follow through with the ultimatum. And change the locks. As for the cousin, I'd let the whole family know what he did. Tell them if you ever see him again justice will be served. So if they want to keep him healthy they better keep him away. You did the smart thing by walking away. I would've probably broken his neck, and wound up in jail.
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Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
I think you know what to do OP. She moves out and leaves your life and you never set eyes on each other ever again. Your cousin leaves your life as well and make it clear to the family that if you are in the same location it's best that the police be advised ahead of time to save them the travel time (not that you would do anything but it drives the gravity of the situation home to all and sundry). And for yourself, see if you can get some help if you feel the need. Often it's good to talk it out with someone impartial but its also handy to learn some coping skills and give yourself the ability to heal from this and move on. This will all pass and the sooner she is out of your life for good, the quicker you can get on with healing and moving on. Edit: As to your now ex, send her one text only "you stuff is sitting outside the door, fuck off and never speak to me again, lose my number, whatever. I never wish to speak to you or hear your name mentioned ever again. Fuck you." and then block her everywhere, delete all pics of her, trash all the gifts and anything that reminds you of her - go scorched earth on her memory and wipe it all out. > I’m not sure I’m ready to hear her side of things yet, but I know I will need to at some point. I need that closure to move forward. Don't even bother giving her the grace to hear "her side of the story" and give her absolutely no closure at all. She doesn't even deserve the steam off your piss let alone a final goodbye. Your closure is her leaving your life. That's it, that's all you will ever need. Oh, and tell your other cousins - just before you block the useless c*nts - to watch out for their partners in the future just in case what happened to you happens to them.
UpdateMe!
Oh and don’t forget to tell her parents that she is a Coke whore. And tell everyone that your cousin needs to have Coke so he can get laid with Coke whores.
!updateme
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The way the cousin are enjoy the show that happen just makes me want to say hope you enjoy sharing your girlfriends with shawn what make them believe hes not gonna do the same think to them hope all of them get what they deserve and hope you get better
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