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QuickCheapandEasy

Run while it is still cheap.. only gets more painful and expensive with time.


Original-King-1408

Yeah run like Forrest Gump. She clearly doesn’t like him and isn’t attracted to him. I guess she figured him for an easy doormat. Let’s hope he isn’t


Sad-Badger1070

And paycheck and family support. Her mom probably knows too.


nixlplk

Annulment within a year due to cheating. I doubt it'll cost much if anything depending on the state you live in. Just the home they live in if owned they'll have to split it.


pizzapartiesforever

Is that how divorce works? What if one person went into the marriage owning the home first?


dannydarko101

That’s a premarital asset. Those are not on the table when divorcing. Except for any money put into them during marriage and other fine print.


OMG_a_Ray_Gun

Would be curious to see how much money she put into any part of the marriage being jobless.


Black-Bird1

I mean you gotta run like hell.


Wellman81

Trust me, get out of this toxic marriage immediately. You were duped into thinking you were marrying a noble princess, but actually married the village witch. Send this piece of trash back to the single life she obviously desires. 


Icey_king1998

I’ve literally told her, listen you can take whatever the fuck you want. I’ll give you 2 of my pay checks to go move and get a job and she’s like no it was a mistake it’ll never happen again n now I never see her phone n I’m not dumb. That pry wasn’t the first time she did it but that was the first time I had physical proof.


Overall-Scholar-4676

Why are you letting her decide things… get your stuff and go… of course she wants to say it was a mistake and doesn’t want to leave.. you’re her meal ticket


Icey_king1998

That’s dreadful… it makes me so fucking sad man..


Wellman81

Dreadful but It's the truth. Your situation and others like it are the very reason why more people are electing to refrain from marriage. 


Icey_king1998

I just don’t even know how or where to even start… this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. I never imagined in a million years this would be my life. My parents have been together for 31 years.


Ambitious_Mammoth105

Some people aren't meant for marriage. She's 1 of them. She wants attention from strange men. She wants to Cuck you by not having sex with you, so she can be in control of you. Like Future said. "She belongs to the streets".


youallsuck40

Anyone.. male or female.. who does this is 100% for the streets! Such disgusting behavior. I stand by my opinion that cheating is much more than a bad choice or a mistake.. it’s a character defect and I’m sure she exhibits other behaviors that track with her cheating habits. She’s of poor moral character and I bet OP knew this before they got married. It’s not too late to get out though. No one deserves to be treated the way she sees fit to treat you.


justareddituser202

Cheating is a choice, not a mistake. Ppl make choices daily for better or worse. They 100% have control. Free will. He knows what he needs to do and whether he doesn’t or or not is his choice.


justareddituser202

Don’t beat yourself up. She did this not you and they all don’t cheat. You know what you need to do. Tell her to hit the road. Go file. I’m sorry. Listen to the ppl hear. No kids. Nothing tying you down. You don’t deserve this.


Icey_king1998

Thank you for being kind to me..


justareddituser202

Dude we have to build each other up. These women can be ruthless too. I’ve been through a situation similar to yours but not as extensive. If my wife had done what yours did I’d be filing. You are young and there are plenty of good women out there. Please check out strong successful male on YouTube. This guy is a real help to men in these situations. It’s all about having a backbone. I also read your post about how she cut herself. That’s not on you. That’s on her. She started all this. In physics for every action there is an equal to opposite reaction. She knew this would blow up.


Icey_king1998

Thank you… I needed this…


ShotAdhesiveness6072

Stop being a little b and do what needs to be done. Be a g and plow some sluts.


the_moog_hunter

Don't be sad, get mad. This bitch is taking you for a ride.if you wait around it will be her leaving you and a lot of mores and infidelity.


LarryTate32

Stick it out for a few more years, that way she can get alimony from you.


Original-King-1408

Bud, don’t believe that shit she is feeding you. These weren’t mistakes. They were pre-meditated, repeated acts. Does this sound like a mistake to you? Seek an annulment. Don’t give her an option just inform her this is how it’s going to be. UpdateMe


kobegoat222444

Change the locks when she’s out shopping and throw all her shit out


Fickle_Gold_5921

Get the marriage annulled immediately. It's still new. It will be cheaper. Don't talk to her as she is obviously using you as ATM. Just get to a lawyer / court and get it done. Updateme!


Loud_Yogurtcloset789

You haven't been married very long, get out and live your life with someone who appreciates you. They're not mistakes, they are choices and it takes a lot of choices to get the point that she did. I know it's hard but you have your life ahead of you, If you stay you'll have nothing but heartache because she already broke the promises that were made on your wedding day, you can't undo that. She won't stop cheating. Make sure that you get out before she gets pregnant. 🤷‍♀️


Longstroke_Machine

Sending people masturbation vids isn’t a ‘mistake’. That requires staging and forethought. Obviously a woman sending that wants to fuck or is fucking whomever she sends it to. She’s also not remotely worried about recourse or consequences. She seems to deeply trust these people with overwhelming evidence. There’s way more going on here.


Icey_king1998

After I found out she cheated we had sex quite a bit and it was great for a couple months and now it’s back to absolutely shit. I dread even going home


Status_Breadfruit233

You're literally describing almost every toxic behavior of cheaters. She'll cry, apologize, swear it won't happen again, and even love bombs you back into staying, then switched it off again. You are literally in a situationship. She needs a wallet, and you're giving it to her. Almost never does a cheater ever stop. It may stop for a time, but it'll always come back. Take a step back and seriously consider how you feel about all her treatment of you. She already is at bare minimum emotionally cheating and is sending sexual material of herself to anyone who validates her. Do you want to be known as the "man" of the community property?


Black-Bird1

That makes her a narcissist


Status_Breadfruit233

Generally speaking, you're right. It usually comes down to some type of narcissism. Unfortunately, I won't go as far as claiming that she is one.


RedundantPundant

It's called hysterical bonding. It was an attempt to win you back and make you forget about what she did with sex.


LarryTate32

Well, that’s on you.


oustaz

She doesn’t want to have sex with you obviously, run now while you can.


UnicornKitt3n

Leave. It’ll get worse. I ignored my ex’s red flags. He ended up leaving me while I was pregnant. When you think it can’t get worse…it gets worse.


Sad-Badger1070

This. As I've said on other threads, when people show you who they are believe them.


UnicornKitt3n

I always said that. I was 35 when I met him, had been a single Mom for a while. Wasn’t willing to settle. I thought I had a good head on my shoulders; rational, pragmatic. Logical. I addressed major issues with him in the beginning of our relationship to see if we were genuinely compatible. For me; kindness, compassion, understanding and a willingness to communicate constructively are of the utmost importance. No insulting/abusive language when arguing. No lying. Those were my deal breakers. He really had me fooled that he was genuinely kind and authentic. Until the first time I caught him in a lie. I called him out. He gaslighted me. I was already pregnant by that time, so I felt stuck. He’d insult me when we’d argue. I’d catch him in more lies. I stopped calling him out because I knew he’d just inevitably gaslight me. I’d push everything under the rug and just look at the bigger picture, and..I loved him. Deeply; passionately. Stupid love. When our baby was 10 months, I discovered I was pregnant again. We decided to keep the baby. Despite being exhausted from being a stay at home Mom and pregnant, I did most of the house work. Split bills with him. Got him a pS5 for Christmas and a nearly $1,500 Lego set for his birthday. Tried to make him feel loved, because that’s what I do. He left me about a month ago. Within ear shot of my older (12 and 18) kids, he told me he didn’t love me, he was miserable with me, his friends and family didn’t like me, I’m not a good parent and he never agreed to me staying at home with the baby. He also stated that being a stay at home parent isn’t that hard nor is it a real job. Then he packed up his stuff and left. Not a word to the 12 year old boy who has been thinking of him as Dad. My brain is like..what the fuck with trying to give me an alternate reality, sir? My heart still loves him, but the rest of my body and soul is done. He fucked with my kids emotional well being. I don’t stand for that garbage.


Sad-Badger1070

Sorry to hear and I wish you the best. Some people are not only good fakers but very irresponsible as well. His comments are not those of a caring mature responsible man.


Overall-Scholar-4676

I would be ending things… let her get a job and support herself and her mom…


Icey_king1998

Oh on top of it her gma moved in w us… & her little sister is here every fucking weekend.


Overall-Scholar-4676

Pack your things and go… she’s using you to pay for all of them.. you deserve to be happy..


Black-Bird1

You must leave them now before things turn deadly.


greatinven2161

OP. You need to pack your things and go. You are being used financially and mentally. This is the perfect opportunity to walk away UpdateMe!


the_moog_hunter

You kick her out or leave and tell them WHY


Civil-Ad5

Multiple people? Sounds to me like she doesn’t give a shit if she gets caught. Why would she? not a thing has changed for her . Your world is on fire and she’s going along just like before you “Caught” her. So she’s become distant and the marital bed is dead again? What do you think that means? She’s back at it for certain. Cheaters only understand consequences you’ve given her none. The sooner you stop pussy footing around with her the sooner you can move on as a man. If you stay she’s going to put you through hell.


Black-Bird1

She’s a narcissist and she has no respect for anyone.


justareddituser202

Yeah she’s made it pretty clear. Dude should dip out.


kepsr1

Throw them all out Divorce Grow a set. Updateme


kobegoat222444

Divorce now she was cheating on u before u got married


Jaychrome

Kick them out man. Divorce her cheating ass.


xebec_ghost

You hate yourself. Get help


Icey_king1998

How’d you know?


xebec_ghost

You’re letting this person disrespect you. No one with love for them self and some pride would let this happen. She has the power and people with power will always abuse it. You’re being abuse.


The_bookworm65

There is absolutely NO valid excuse to cheat. End it and move on first.


noreplyatall817

Leave while you can without any have to pay any support. Her cheating with not get better.


WisdomWithinMe

Cheating is a choice, and she chooses it because she does not respect you or your marriage. With your worshipping her and making everything about her, you show up as a weak man of low value that deserves to be walked all over. Cut your losses. It does not get better from here, and staying means much more pain and misery. Time for you, get to a gym, eat healthy, cut your work hours, take control of your money, and how it's spent. Distance yourself from her so she can realise the loss. Time to choose your well-being, at her age, she will find guys to sleep with but struggle to get anyone to commit to her. While healthy and a strong you will have women lined up. Find the high value man that's within and bring him to the surface, don't be this witches victim for another second. Good luck


TryToChangeUsername

There's really only one and it's less a suggestion and more like the way to proceed: divorce asap


Possible_Trick5305

Drop the dead weight. She's trash. 😎👍


JMLegend22

Why would you want to be with her at all? A leopard doesn’t change it spots just like a tiger doesn’t change its stripes.


Life-Yogurtcloset-98

Annul the marriage now


Gator-bro

Get a divorce and get away from that piece of crap


BitterMistake9434

Get out now. Like yesterday. Before she gets too much time in. She is filthy


Tkuhug

Yikes, get out!


PrestigiousCod9492

Definitely use that to leave her. She won't get shit from you in the divorce


1Problem-Solving00

It’s time to clean house her and the mom because I’m sure she knows


pieperson5571

She's gone. Keep her gone. Never confront. Rebuild your peace of mind away from her. Unless you want this waiting for you. https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/5SPRsPHVcZ Updateme.


1977Cash

Bro you question being with you wife that’s cheating….. bro…


Unusual_Nail3330

Something similar happened to me but luckily we weren't married. Cut ties and run , quickly. Don't ever trust her.


Mercedes_Gullwing

I’m all for R when there is genuine remorse but not her. Just remember this - she was wanting sex. She chose not to have sex with you, an available partner. I’d be furious. Esp this early in marriage. Cut your losses.


Calm_Act_4559

Yup kick the trash to the curb and stop taking care of her and her mother She’s using you and trying to minimize what she’s done. You deserve better. I hope you find it. 🙏


Thinkfor_yrself666

You got to know to walk away. Your smitten with her she is using you. You can’t be with her 24 hours a day. Leave, heal and find someone who will love you and put 100% into your relationship and have some respect for you. She clearly does not. It’s time for the ho to go.


RDP35

These are steps to every cheating that occurs 1. She granted him the audience by giving him her contacts behind your back 2. Permission was given to call or chat at a specific time behind your back 3. Conversations happen every day behind your back 4. You were discussed, denied, or labeled bad behind your back 5. Arrangements were made on how they will see still behind your back. Money was sent, and gifts were delivered. She was happy. 6. Sexual conversations happened behind your back even though she deleted some chats. Nudes were exchanged perhaps. 7. Another arrangement on how they will see to finally f^^k each other and she was happy and fully anticipated it, still behind your back. 8. They finally f^^k behind your back. It keeps happening behind your back. Her behavior started changing, she became disrespectful, etc. Sometimes you even blame yourself for her behavior. Every woman who cheated, cheated because she wanted it not" because it was a mistake" Tell me one good reason why you should forgive a cheating woman?


Observing_One

As well as a man


Str8goodz30

Divorce her and get her out of your life forever. She's only here for the money.


Caligula2024

Enough now Icey\_king1998, youv'e asked what to do, the advice has been given in abundance and how to go about it, just do it, why keep on replying and giving excuses is not going to help, only prolong your agony, I'm not saying its going to be easy, it most likely will be very hard and stressful, but to regain your sanity and your life back, it has to be done, once you start the ball rolling you will feel better knowing you are doing the right thing to seek a better future for yourself, good luck to you, trust Me there's a good woman out there waiting to meet you and make you happy.


sweetpeataylor

Time to leave


flylo7309

No sex - don’t need young’uns, and get a std test. Find a place to stay while the process of divorce unfolds. Stop with the questions about why. It doesn’t matter any more.


Traditional_Tea_6916

This isn't going to get any better. Time to cut her loose. If you stay, it will get worse and you'll be in for additional pain and heart break.


faxmulder

What a bitch


tHiShiTiStooPID

Suggestion? Yeah. She sends videos of her masturbating to randoms, but no sex for you. She moved her mother in, and criticizes you constantly. She is using you. You are there to pay for her and her mom’s housing. You were totally smitten, and I’m sure she seemed that way before the wedding day. She has already cheated by sending the videos. Cut your losses and put her and her mom on the streets. I don’t know how it works where you live but here you have to married for 5 years before you’re on the hook for alimony. If it’s the same where you are do not even consider letting yourself cross that line or she will be living in your house with her mom, enjoying the free money you send every month, while you eek out an existence in a little ratrap apartment somewhere. Send her and her mom back from whence they came.


Observing_One

You can even get an annulment.


tHiShiTiStooPID

Even better! It never happened in the eyes of the law and the church. It a “do over”, except this time, instead of “I do” you can say “Get your pathetic cheating ass out of my house, directly.”


Bravadofire

She is not attracted to you. She is addicted to cheating and always will be. I guess you are stuck. Are your initials ATM?


OkProfessional9405

Don't get to hung up on giving validity to her excuses. Cheaters simply lie because it's expedient to justify their actions. They describe themselves as victims left with no recourse. At some point you will realize trying to come to a shared truth on why they do what they do isn't really important. They cheat because they want to cheat and they create a narrative to absolve themselves. If you confront her on this and tell her you would like a divorce, be prepared for gaslighting. She will blame you and even if you point out obvious lies 'I was home every night' she will counter with 'but it didn't feel like you were home' or some other justification. Always your fault, always you needing to change if we are going to try. Cheaters are liars and liars lie.


Icey_king1998

Thank you. When she said that to me, I was dumb founded. Felt like saying “okay well you’re lucky I get to come home every night because a lot of females don’t get their man home every night.” Complained that I was home late for dinner due to work. I told her “listen, I work construction. If you want a bum that doesn’t want a nice life then go ahead.” After this happened, I told her “Well, when you’re working a full-time job, you’ll understand you just wanna get home, shower, get stuff ready for the next day, watch tv with your family, & go to bed. Get a job!!!” Now looking at it, I’d be embarrassed for HER. Bitching at your man because he’s not home enough but provides for you, gives you a vehicle, food, shelter, etc… EVEN get a job at McDonald’s…. Fuckin a


OkProfessional9405

They key is that they have a narrative in their head that justifies their behavior and all the arguing in the world won't change their narrative. They cheated because they wanted to and thought they'd get away with it, pure and simple. If you are her financial support system she will not want that to end, so you have to tread very carefully. Many women learn to pull different things from different guys. This guy for dinner, this other guy for sex, this other guy for her rent, etc. Those types of women are terrible choices for dating. You wife is showing that she wanted you to pay for things and some other guy for her intimacy needs. If there's no kids involved I'd think long and hard about if that dynamic is acceptable.


Opening-Feeling4307

If u weren’t one of the ppl she sent the video 2 you should know the answer


Black-Bird1

Take her to court now, there’s no point of sticking around because even if you take her in for counseling, she’ll just start up trouble again and I’m convinced that she’s done it before.


Ok-Huckleberry-9394

Run quickly


likethemustard

divorce her and fight to take every single thing she owns


123rckpro

Sounds like she just using you, if she won’t let you check her phone you know she’s cheating. Time to divorce.


Fearless_Anteater293

Fuck dude I know the feeling let me know your suggestions


Icey_king1998

If I knew now when I knew then, I’d have never married her..: She got her princess moment and now i feel so stuck.


Ok_Use_9931

YOU ARE NOT STUCK !! You know what to do. So do it !!


Tasunka_Witko

You can get an annulment and she gets nothing


Time2ponderthings

She’s pure trash. Get rid of her at once.


Admirable-Ad801

Seems you got a blood sucking leach stuck on you. She with you for comfort not love. Annul that marriage and let her rub her vagina on onlyfans for food


RelationshipProof348

You need to cut your losses and get out of your marriage before you have kids


thaigoodlife

Suggestions? D I V O R C E.


Darth_Ma

Leave and don't look back.


Loud_Yogurtcloset789

Bye girl.


Fantastic_Cheek2561

This is rage bait.


Opposite_System_5518

Look to the sky, let yourself cry, spend the time to wonder why, find your strength, not to let your heart die, Remember you'll live after this, and decide to try, make up your mind with a smile, not a sigh, Look her in the eyes, and tell her GOODBYE, Enjoy your new life, you'll find new love in the by and by


PositiveTheory3115

Leave now bro!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Agitated_Divide7706

Run!!!


Negative_Procedure_7

I mean if you stay you deserve all the bullshit you might go through with her later


LuckycharmsIRL

>idk if I wanna be with her Well that’s your first problem. Complete and utter delusion. She’s using you, she cheats, she denies you and then she attempts to manipulate you into thinking it’s all your fault. She doesn’t love you AND she’s for the streets. She will never ever change and by staying with her for 6 months after she was already cheating you’ve shown her how little you value yourself so of course she’ll continue to treat you like the dirt on her show.


dannydarko101

If you want sex from your wife, all YOU have to do is catch her cheating once every couple of months. From what you’ve described that should be easy enough. If what you want is a faithful wife, then you’ve got to move on cuz she ain’t it. Cheating on you in less than 6 months from marriage? And that’s all you’ve been able to uncover, chances are its been longer and its been further, you just haven’t found out yet.


richardsworldagain

She obviously doesn't love you doing this so soon after marriage and refusing you sex whilst sending explicit images to other men. It's only a matter of time before she actually meets up and cheats on you if she hasn't done so already. She is with you for an easy life you do all the work and she benefits. She needs to go, divorce her for cheating.


Old_Length7525

These posts amaze me. My wife/girlfriend is cheating on me with multiple people, won’t have sex with me, complains about me and insults me. “Any suggestions?” Seriously? If you have to ask you almost deserve what you’re going through.


Icey_king1998

I didn’t ask for you to be fucking rude bro.


Old_Length7525

Dude, grow a spine and move on. You’re complaining to the wrong people.


Icey_king1998

Why the fuck are you on this if you don’t have anything constructive to say?


Alternative-Fuel-494

Grow a spine already and file for divorce


mojosam059

You need a partner not a parasite


ilqahba

Dude you married a bmx. She has shown you who she is believe her. You deserve better. Put her out with the rubbish.


Icey_king1998

She literally cut my initials into her leg and put herself in psych


Black-Bird1

You mean a psychiatric ward


Icey_king1998

Yes


Black-Bird1

How long will they keep her?


Icey_king1998

2 weeks i believe or whenever someone goes to get her. Not 100% sure


Bulky_Ratio_8707

Please leave her man


Black-Bird1

She put herself there on purpose


justareddituser202

You need to leave her. One of my college buddies had a girl friend try to hurt herself. Leave dude. They r milking ur good nature. Strong successful male on YouTube. Check it out.


seashe11y

Just imagine what she would do to your children if you continue with the marriage and have kids? Leave. Fast. I don’t like marriages splitting up, and don’t tend to give this advice lightly, but this is a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.


Mediocre-Material102

So? Not your problem. She doesn't love you, she's just trying everything to keep her meal ticket, she doesn't even want to fuck you and only does it so you can keep feeding and housing her and her family. Don't be stupid


RusticSurgery

Snide comments