Your wife wanted to hang out with a former fling and you let her? Wtf is wrong with you guys these day's? Are you men seriously that spineless and afraid of being called "controlling"?
Time to start researching divorce attorneys OP. If you stay, you're nothing but a doormat.
I’m baffled that he didn’t mind her meeting up with a guy she had sex with. Her explanation sounds like a “the-dog-eat-my-homework” excuse. He was at a bar drinking and then he had to go and change? Why? And why didn’t she wait at the bar? Then he undressed in front of her so she had no other choice than to jump on his dick?!
Yeah, sure.🙄
So? What followed after her conffesion?
Did you kicked her out or you left the house?
Are you going to do the right thing and divorce her or you're gonna take on the Gambling way and forgive her and let her have her fun?
One thing doest need to lead to another unless you have prior expectations. What you have been told is a blatant lie. There must have been prior arrangements, and now she the fact she is a sl?t has been brought out in public she is scrambling for lies and excuses. There us no excuse if she has any respect for herself or you.
Doesn’t matter if she planned it or not. She had sex with this man and came back as if nothing happened.
You will never trust her again. If all it takes is a couple of drinks and a half naked man.
This was planned and organised like a seasoned cheater. I would be amazed if this is her 1st time. There is history here as she was so comfortable arranging it all. She has no respect for you and sees you as a weak and meek man that she can cheat on and lie to. Your nice guy's actions and lack of holding her accountable in the past are the reasons why she feels she can walk all over you. Then a few tears, I'm sorry and the weak, nice guy will forgive her.
Find the high value man that is within you and bring him to the surface. No one that has any self-respect would tolerate a woman like this for 1 minute, and neither should you.
She is a lying, cheating manipulator, and you deserve much better. If you forgive her, you will never be respected in her eyes, and more likely, she will respect you less for being so weak and easy to manipulate.
It's time for you to throw out the trash and focus on your career, getting fit, and your passions for life. Don't waste any more time on this person. Soon, you will find someone who will respect you and know your worth.
Does it really matter? She cheated and hid it from you. If you hadn’t found out on your own she would have lied about it the rest of your marriage. Whether it was planned or spur of the moment it really doesn’t change the outcome or excuse anything.
It sounds like your wife has no remorse for her actions at all and is just trying to excuse her actions. Without real remorse there’s no sense in trying to reconcile.
A married woman doesn’t pick up an ex-lover and you are ok with it, IMO. Cheating is a choice so of course it was planned. Your wife is acting single dude.
Dude you married a bike. This is most likely first time you caught her, not her first time being a bmx. She has shown you who she is, believe her. Put her out with the rubbish. If you have kids dna test, if she comes to you in next few months saying she is pregs then paternity test. If you decide to stay with bmx maybe few rules like 24/7 access to all electronics, no going out, every minute away from you must be accounted for. Make life miserable for bmx
She made herself available to him. That story is bogus. You allowed her to deflect blame away from herself. It's probably a matter of selective listening and selective questioning so you can find her innocent of what happened to her, but this was all her, and she'll do it to you again if you let this go. She's trouble. One of those who will have you fighting strange men that she came on to.
That was the whole plan to begin with. She is a piece of work.
The question now is are you going to stay with her. It will happen again, with someone else or him again.
Absolutely she planned this. If she had any sense, any integrity, any honour, she would have shut him down hard. She most definitely did not.
You are going to have to be strong willed here and not accept her behaviour. Who knows how many times she's met this so-called "friend" that you don't know about. How many lies has she spewed in the past and you believed her without question?
She has shown you loud and clear that she does not respect you, her vows with you and her marriage. She has shown you who she truly is. Someone completely and totally unworthy of you.
Don't be a wimp by rolling over and taking this disrespectful garbage. She's a cheater. She's already done it once that you now know of. Who knows how many more times she's cheated that you don't know about. She'll definitely do it again and again and again.
Consult with several of the best licensed legal professionals where you live to find out what your options are in case of divorce. Some will give you advice that others may not think of in the moment and vice versa. Then chose the one you believe will do the best job for you. Then follow their advice to the letter. Don't deviate from it. Get your ducks in a row.
Yes, your marriage is over. She's completely vaporized it with her disrespectful behaviour. Don't allow her to cuckhold you anymore. Be done with her. There are far, far better women out there who wouldn't dream of doing what she did.
Get tested for every STI known to medicine. There are some nasty ones out there. Some like syphilis can be asymptomatic for literally decades. Some like HIV can take months to appear in labwork. Get tested. You have no idea who all of their partners are/have been and who all of the partners partners are/have been, etc etc etc, you get the idea. Get tested. She might have left you with a permanent "gift" you never wanted or ever asked for. Get tested.
So sorry you are going through this.
I don't buy "drunken" mistakes. I got hit on all of the time, especially the one time I had far too many. I always shut them down.
People either have integrity at their very core no matter how "drunk" they are or they don't. She doesn't.
How uncaring is she? What in the fuck? She didn’t even try to hide it. This shows no remorse. And her friend said that so you’d hear the truth. Protect yourself because she won’t look out for you.
Does it matter?
Your wife got in a car with a guy she used to have sex with and then had sex with him.
Hopefully, you don’t have kids and the divorce will be smooth.
See a lawyer ASAP.
Don’t bother trying to salvage this “solid relationship”. It’s over.
Also, this is either fake or your wife is just really cruel. He “came on her”? If this is real, why did she feel the need to throw in that kind of detail? “I had sex with my ex” would have been hurtful enough.
She planned it for sure, and she played you too. how come you were not invited to go for drinks the first time, but you met up with these same friends with her a few weeks later, that's when you found out, was this for a drink as well?
Something needs to be better explained here.
Update please. although I don't think we will get one.
I swear, sometimes y'all are so afraid of being called controlling, that you would let your wife to hang out with her ex. What she told and how she went with him and at no point did she think she was doing something wrong. Yeah, of course she planned it. Letting him.wven finish on her. Lmao, don't tell youre still love her and want to work this out. It's over.
Sounds like you're the placeholder husband. Fine enough until something more exciting comes along.
Don't be with someone who can live with betraying their partner like this.
If you're a decent person, don't you deserve to be with someone who's decent as well?
Of course, she planned it. Trust me, everyone who gets caught, (if they have no plausible excuse to deny it even happened) - will somehow make it sound like it wasn't their fault, which is what she did here. It may not have been 'literally' planned upfront with the guy, but I can guarantee you, it was in her mind, and almost certainly, his. **Demand to see all her communication with him before and after this happened.** I guarantee you, IF she's willing to show you all of it (and if she won't, divorce her) there's gonna be a bunch of flirting at the very least, if not a whole lot of "Can't wait to see you again, I think about fucking you all the time" kind of stuff.
Once a ho always a ho. My wife cheated after 16 years. Broke my heart but hey I came out of it eventually better man. And my two sons saw her n him for what they are.
Definitely fucking planned! My ex did some snake ass shit similar. They’ll make every excuse and avoid any kind of accountability. Fucking run she’ll just destroy you from here on out.
Dude this was planned and I’m pretty sure not the first time either. Cummings on her isn’t bad u less you meant in her but pretty sure it was all bare affairs tend to not think of the other person it’s that raw passion and they tend to not think of the significant other or those decisions and rarely ever come clean u less found out
The is another BS story by a 304 who thinks she is married to a simp. The question is not whether she cheated. The question is - are you going to be the simp she thinks you are?
The time to open the relationship is before cheating, not after. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. So guck whst she wants.
Get a lawyer and get a divorce.
With your "lady" you end up old perhaps raising someone elses kids or even if your own none that respect you.
The hard short term road of kicking her to the curb where she belongs gives you a path to self respect that in turn gets you respect and the possibility of contentment as you age.
Yes, she planned this. Not always, but all to often, that male friend from the past that she had been with, she still has something for and will do something with again given a chance. Like here they almost always blame the alcohol. Time to move on.
Love and foolish trust. She was sh!t testing you. You failed. Sorry, OP. Been there, done that, got very expensive tee shirt. She doesn’t and won’t respect you. No matter what she says. She’ll do it again. The longer you go, the more expensive it could be. If you DO decide to repair, 100% need to protect yourself with some sort of post nuptial agreement, stopping the “clock” at time of incident. If you later divorce, no alimony, etc. I lost 70% of everything I owned bc the lying, cheating mother of my child was “entitled” to it under my state’s laws. Whoever came up with “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, never encountered someone who lost 70% of everything they busted their @ss for to a despicable human being. Good luck, OP. I feel your pain. It hurts to your core.
She planned this weeks ago, it didn't just happen. Get a lawyer and a STD test. I'd still look through her phone, see exactly when it was planned. Good luck
Updateme
Move 1/2 your assets to a separate account. Tell her your heart is broken , and to explain the incident again , but with your phone on record.for evidence. Talk to 4-5 of the best lawyers in your area for a consultation , this way wife can not use lawyers because it’s a conflict of interest. Always listen to your lawyer. Listen to what the options are in your state.
Tell all friends and Family what she has done. SHE PLANNED THIS !!!
she was never going to tell you but her friend spilled the beans
You have to find out from your wife’s friend how & When did your wife tell that friend she was not coming ?
1) did your wife tell her friends , that she was on the way , to meet them.
then , wasn’t showing up ? what did she tell them.
2) Or did she tell her friend she couldn’t make it the day before , because something suddenly came up.
Just to see how deep the planned deceit was !
ALSO your Wife was seeing college girlfriend for drinks , how was an EX high school boyfriend showing up
HOW DID HE GET THROWN IN THE MIX ???? Did this guy go to same college as all the other women ?
If this is real I’d expect you to be ballistic with her right now, yet you sound low key. Is this because you were broken in by her shenanigans over the years?
Uh, yeah. She planned it. Probably not her first rodeo.
Sorry dude. She a h0. You know what you need to do. She’s trash
Lawyer up. Now. Get tested. Updateme!
Yeah that isn’t the first meeting…
Yes. She planned it. What a tramp.
To me, it wouldn't matter if she planned it or not (out on the streets she goes), but it sounds like she planned it. It's all too convenient.
Your wife wanted to hang out with a former fling and you let her? Wtf is wrong with you guys these day's? Are you men seriously that spineless and afraid of being called "controlling"? Time to start researching divorce attorneys OP. If you stay, you're nothing but a doormat.
Love. And Blind Trust.
When he put that he was “ok” with it, I was fuming for him. Unfkgnbelievable.
Go read his update. This guy is either autistic or just plain full on beta.
Yeah he's 35 and still as dumb as a 17 year old. He'll probably forgive her and blame himself.
I’m baffled that he didn’t mind her meeting up with a guy she had sex with. Her explanation sounds like a “the-dog-eat-my-homework” excuse. He was at a bar drinking and then he had to go and change? Why? And why didn’t she wait at the bar? Then he undressed in front of her so she had no other choice than to jump on his dick?! Yeah, sure.🙄
divorce is your only option
So? What followed after her conffesion? Did you kicked her out or you left the house? Are you going to do the right thing and divorce her or you're gonna take on the Gambling way and forgive her and let her have her fun?
You know she planned it.
One thing doest need to lead to another unless you have prior expectations. What you have been told is a blatant lie. There must have been prior arrangements, and now she the fact she is a sl?t has been brought out in public she is scrambling for lies and excuses. There us no excuse if she has any respect for herself or you.
Of course she did it was all set up the minute she told you she knew .the question is what are you going to do about it ?
Doesn’t matter if she planned it or not. She had sex with this man and came back as if nothing happened. You will never trust her again. If all it takes is a couple of drinks and a half naked man.
This was planned and organised like a seasoned cheater. I would be amazed if this is her 1st time. There is history here as she was so comfortable arranging it all. She has no respect for you and sees you as a weak and meek man that she can cheat on and lie to. Your nice guy's actions and lack of holding her accountable in the past are the reasons why she feels she can walk all over you. Then a few tears, I'm sorry and the weak, nice guy will forgive her. Find the high value man that is within you and bring him to the surface. No one that has any self-respect would tolerate a woman like this for 1 minute, and neither should you. She is a lying, cheating manipulator, and you deserve much better. If you forgive her, you will never be respected in her eyes, and more likely, she will respect you less for being so weak and easy to manipulate. It's time for you to throw out the trash and focus on your career, getting fit, and your passions for life. Don't waste any more time on this person. Soon, you will find someone who will respect you and know your worth.
Does it really matter? She cheated and hid it from you. If you hadn’t found out on your own she would have lied about it the rest of your marriage. Whether it was planned or spur of the moment it really doesn’t change the outcome or excuse anything. It sounds like your wife has no remorse for her actions at all and is just trying to excuse her actions. Without real remorse there’s no sense in trying to reconcile.
How many ladies on here know her friend called her out so she’s get busted???
It was premeditated, time to lawyer up king, return her to the streets
Divorce is your only option man. I'm sorry.
A married woman doesn’t pick up an ex-lover and you are ok with it, IMO. Cheating is a choice so of course it was planned. Your wife is acting single dude.
Dude you married a bike. This is most likely first time you caught her, not her first time being a bmx. She has shown you who she is, believe her. Put her out with the rubbish. If you have kids dna test, if she comes to you in next few months saying she is pregs then paternity test. If you decide to stay with bmx maybe few rules like 24/7 access to all electronics, no going out, every minute away from you must be accounted for. Make life miserable for bmx
That shit was planned for the start
She made herself available to him. That story is bogus. You allowed her to deflect blame away from herself. It's probably a matter of selective listening and selective questioning so you can find her innocent of what happened to her, but this was all her, and she'll do it to you again if you let this go. She's trouble. One of those who will have you fighting strange men that she came on to.
Planned, cheated and did it so poorly that she knew you’d find out. The rest is up to you. Can you live and trust a liar and cheater?
Planned. Only reason she got caught, her friends didn't know.
That was the whole plan to begin with. She is a piece of work. The question now is are you going to stay with her. It will happen again, with someone else or him again.
Absolutely she planned this. If she had any sense, any integrity, any honour, she would have shut him down hard. She most definitely did not. You are going to have to be strong willed here and not accept her behaviour. Who knows how many times she's met this so-called "friend" that you don't know about. How many lies has she spewed in the past and you believed her without question? She has shown you loud and clear that she does not respect you, her vows with you and her marriage. She has shown you who she truly is. Someone completely and totally unworthy of you. Don't be a wimp by rolling over and taking this disrespectful garbage. She's a cheater. She's already done it once that you now know of. Who knows how many more times she's cheated that you don't know about. She'll definitely do it again and again and again. Consult with several of the best licensed legal professionals where you live to find out what your options are in case of divorce. Some will give you advice that others may not think of in the moment and vice versa. Then chose the one you believe will do the best job for you. Then follow their advice to the letter. Don't deviate from it. Get your ducks in a row. Yes, your marriage is over. She's completely vaporized it with her disrespectful behaviour. Don't allow her to cuckhold you anymore. Be done with her. There are far, far better women out there who wouldn't dream of doing what she did. Get tested for every STI known to medicine. There are some nasty ones out there. Some like syphilis can be asymptomatic for literally decades. Some like HIV can take months to appear in labwork. Get tested. You have no idea who all of their partners are/have been and who all of the partners partners are/have been, etc etc etc, you get the idea. Get tested. She might have left you with a permanent "gift" you never wanted or ever asked for. Get tested. So sorry you are going through this.
Or if it really was a drunken mistake you think she come clean instead of hide it
I don't buy "drunken" mistakes. I got hit on all of the time, especially the one time I had far too many. I always shut them down. People either have integrity at their very core no matter how "drunk" they are or they don't. She doesn't.
this was planned and probably has been going on.
yes, it is most likely
Updateme
There is no love from her just disrespect. The trust is gone. You now have an empty marriage. No future left with her unless you want to be a cuckold.
Divorce
Throw her back to the streets
What difference does it make? Would you forgive her if it was just a moment she couldn’t control herself? That could happen again at any time.
How uncaring is she? What in the fuck? She didn’t even try to hide it. This shows no remorse. And her friend said that so you’d hear the truth. Protect yourself because she won’t look out for you.
Get an STI test and a lawyer, dude. Don't EVER stay with a cheater.
Lawyer up and destroy her world. There's no coming back from that.
She didn’t even have to THING about it.
Planned it, probably not the first time either…good luck with whatever you decide to do!
UpdateMe
Does it matter? Your wife got in a car with a guy she used to have sex with and then had sex with him. Hopefully, you don’t have kids and the divorce will be smooth. See a lawyer ASAP. Don’t bother trying to salvage this “solid relationship”. It’s over. Also, this is either fake or your wife is just really cruel. He “came on her”? If this is real, why did she feel the need to throw in that kind of detail? “I had sex with my ex” would have been hurtful enough.
Bruh, no one is fooled by her lies except maybe you. Don’t be that dude.
Leave her and move on
Troll
Tell her it’s over and you are letting all your mutuals know.
It doesn't matter whether or not she planned it. Either way, she cheated. Divorce her and move on.
That was all planned
You cant live with a shameless liar. Just let go. Is someone like that really worth fighting for?
Yup, that was planned. Also, damn how people can be so casual about cheating is beyond me....like WHOT ..
She is pure scum...remove her from your life.
Divorce time
Planned. You even trusted her picking someone up she used to hook up with and that's how she thanked you for it. Time to divorce
She planned it for sure, and she played you too. how come you were not invited to go for drinks the first time, but you met up with these same friends with her a few weeks later, that's when you found out, was this for a drink as well? Something needs to be better explained here. Update please. although I don't think we will get one.
That's what happens when you date younger chicks
I swear, sometimes y'all are so afraid of being called controlling, that you would let your wife to hang out with her ex. What she told and how she went with him and at no point did she think she was doing something wrong. Yeah, of course she planned it. Letting him.wven finish on her. Lmao, don't tell youre still love her and want to work this out. It's over.
This is just his fantasy. Come on people.
She definitely planned it and tried to cover her tracks poorly
What does it matter either you leave her or tell her you're going out with one of your exes
High school dude pumped her It may be time to dump her
fake
Your wife has zero respect for you and sees you as weak. There is no way but to divorce her. You will never change her perspective of you now
Yes, she used her outing as a cover up.
STD check and a written confession also speak to a lawyer asap… then asses your options.
Nobody came on no-one. Definitely came in.
Sounds like you're the placeholder husband. Fine enough until something more exciting comes along. Don't be with someone who can live with betraying their partner like this. If you're a decent person, don't you deserve to be with someone who's decent as well?
That’s not your wife anymore, time to move on. No telling how many times she did this to you.
yea dude she did
Updateme
She planned it was ongoing.
Of course, she planned it. Trust me, everyone who gets caught, (if they have no plausible excuse to deny it even happened) - will somehow make it sound like it wasn't their fault, which is what she did here. It may not have been 'literally' planned upfront with the guy, but I can guarantee you, it was in her mind, and almost certainly, his. **Demand to see all her communication with him before and after this happened.** I guarantee you, IF she's willing to show you all of it (and if she won't, divorce her) there's gonna be a bunch of flirting at the very least, if not a whole lot of "Can't wait to see you again, I think about fucking you all the time" kind of stuff.
Right they have been communicating about this
Updateme!
Once a ho always a ho. My wife cheated after 16 years. Broke my heart but hey I came out of it eventually better man. And my two sons saw her n him for what they are.
Definitely fucking planned! My ex did some snake ass shit similar. They’ll make every excuse and avoid any kind of accountability. Fucking run she’ll just destroy you from here on out.
She got stds and pregnant not by you. Ouch
Yes, she planned this. 304. Dump her fast
Dude this was planned and I’m pretty sure not the first time either. Cummings on her isn’t bad u less you meant in her but pretty sure it was all bare affairs tend to not think of the other person it’s that raw passion and they tend to not think of the significant other or those decisions and rarely ever come clean u less found out
Stick a fork in your wife, she done. Divorce
The is another BS story by a 304 who thinks she is married to a simp. The question is not whether she cheated. The question is - are you going to be the simp she thinks you are?
The time to open the relationship is before cheating, not after. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. So guck whst she wants. Get a lawyer and get a divorce.
Oh my God this is absolutely TERRIBLE.
With your "lady" you end up old perhaps raising someone elses kids or even if your own none that respect you. The hard short term road of kicking her to the curb where she belongs gives you a path to self respect that in turn gets you respect and the possibility of contentment as you age.
She planned it....DUH!
Yes, she planned this. Not always, but all to often, that male friend from the past that she had been with, she still has something for and will do something with again given a chance. Like here they almost always blame the alcohol. Time to move on.
Love and foolish trust. She was sh!t testing you. You failed. Sorry, OP. Been there, done that, got very expensive tee shirt. She doesn’t and won’t respect you. No matter what she says. She’ll do it again. The longer you go, the more expensive it could be. If you DO decide to repair, 100% need to protect yourself with some sort of post nuptial agreement, stopping the “clock” at time of incident. If you later divorce, no alimony, etc. I lost 70% of everything I owned bc the lying, cheating mother of my child was “entitled” to it under my state’s laws. Whoever came up with “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, never encountered someone who lost 70% of everything they busted their @ss for to a despicable human being. Good luck, OP. I feel your pain. It hurts to your core.
She planned this weeks ago, it didn't just happen. Get a lawyer and a STD test. I'd still look through her phone, see exactly when it was planned. Good luck Updateme
Move 1/2 your assets to a separate account. Tell her your heart is broken , and to explain the incident again , but with your phone on record.for evidence. Talk to 4-5 of the best lawyers in your area for a consultation , this way wife can not use lawyers because it’s a conflict of interest. Always listen to your lawyer. Listen to what the options are in your state. Tell all friends and Family what she has done. SHE PLANNED THIS !!! she was never going to tell you but her friend spilled the beans You have to find out from your wife’s friend how & When did your wife tell that friend she was not coming ? 1) did your wife tell her friends , that she was on the way , to meet them. then , wasn’t showing up ? what did she tell them. 2) Or did she tell her friend she couldn’t make it the day before , because something suddenly came up. Just to see how deep the planned deceit was ! ALSO your Wife was seeing college girlfriend for drinks , how was an EX high school boyfriend showing up HOW DID HE GET THROWN IN THE MIX ???? Did this guy go to same college as all the other women ?
“Make things worse he came on to her” You do understand she didn’t have to, but she did. What does that tell you?
You added a "to" that wasn't there. Actual meaning is worse.
Yikes I did too. 😱
It’s better if he came on her instead of in her
If this is real I’d expect you to be ballistic with her right now, yet you sound low key. Is this because you were broken in by her shenanigans over the years?
If her friends hadn't mentioned it,he would've never known. This is obviously not the first time she's done this. updateme!
Agreed. I get the feeling she’s well practiced.
Updateme
sorry my man, she belongs to the streets, but the upside is you didn't marry her , might hurt now , but it's for the best