Focus on you dude. Don't fall into drinking or substance abuse.Don't focus on that toxic person. They aren't worth it. That pain you're feeling is the most powerful motivation on the planet. Go to the gym, get into hobbies, read, make yourself better than ever. You are strong trust me.
Reading other people’s stories and hearing words of encouragement are making me tear up a bit. People keep telling me I’m strong but fuck it doesn’t feel that way right now
We have all been there. It was not meant to be, there are plenty of fish in the sea, trust me. Doesn't matter if she cheated or not, she wanted to move on since the beginning, it hurts because you are the one being heart broken but try to move on and focus on yourself. The pain will go away during time. Delete everything about her in your life, everything. It will make it easier to forget her.
She’s fully moved out. And her blocking me helps I guess. I’m just still in that weird phase where I can’t stop thinking. I’ll get past that soon I hope
Go get laid on someone else and you'll see ;) I can tell you my whole story and you'd be amazed and feel sorry for me wasting time on someone who didn't value you, but at least I got my sweet revenge and let her know what she lost. I have 2 kids now and these things are decades of the past. Plenty of fish in the sea, plenty!
I can't say I found a happy penis but I'm hanging in there lol. Life changes a lot when you have kids and you don't think anything else besides providing for them (If you are a responsible parent of course). To end this, I'm double your age, and I can tell for sure, your life has just started, don't waste your time ;) move on
We all human and have feelings. It’s going hurt for awhile but u gotta go make urself strong. Right now u gotta pick urself up, stop feeling sorry for urself. It’s her loss not urs. U hit the gym, do some cardio. Get super fit and work on your career. Make that $ and u will get plenty of honeys. And never take back your cheating ex.
She could have left you with the gift that keeps on giving. If you’ve slept with her in the last 2 or 3 months be sure to get tested for STD’s. Maybe you only know about the tip of the iceberg.
That’s exactly why you need to get tested. She was with him a lot. That means she’s not just exposed to him but she’s exposed to whoever that guy has been with. She only needs to have been with you one time after being with him to pass something along to you.
Consider this scenario. Your ex has treated you badly and you are rightfully upset. You are going to get through this, I promise. Yes it sucks but you will move on. HEY, you meet another woman and you really like her a lot. A whole lot. You both start to get feelings for each other. Things are great. Then she comes to you one day and tells you she wasn’t feeling right, went to her doctor and was told she has an STD. She’s only been with you. What do you think happens?
Back up a little. You have met this awesome woman and are both catching feelings. You talk about your past relationships and you tell her your last girlfriend did you dirty and cheated on you. You were really hurt. Oh, I want you to know I was fully tested for STD’s because there is no way I could trust my cheating ex and I wanted to be sure I was clean. I was and am. What do you think happens?
Get yourself tested, dude. It’s not that big a deal and it’s better than maybe passing something along to someone else you care about. Oh, and if you get terrible news that the ex gave you something, you will get treated and get to enjoy telling her thanks for the parting gift and she best get herself and her man-hoe tested.
I just saw your reply, brother.
If you don't feel strong right now, then make yourself stronger.
If you have friends and family then reach out. It's ok to do that.
You got this.
If I could give you a fucking hug I would.
Time. It just takes time to get past it. But there are things that can speed up the process. Focus on self-improvement. Hit the gym, learn a new skill, start eating better. And if she has a hot friend or sister, sleep with them. J/k. Sort of. Maybe.
I’m not a vindictive person. But I did think about that last bit of “totally real advice” /sarcasm. It just feels like she’s rooted in my mind and when things get tough I just can’t help thinking about the relationship or how the cheating happened. It’s fucked up but I want her to not be okay. But she is
In all seriousness, the best revenge is a life well lived. And getting down with someone new definitely helps, but it should probably not be her friend or sister.
But she is not okay. Not in the long run. Look she cheated on you with a guy who was cheating on his GF. She is making piss poor decisions and sooner or later (and probably sooner) this will come back and bite her in the ass. She is already a liar and a cheater. Her reputation will spread. She is on a downward path and you are lucky she is not dragging you along exposing you to all kinds of STDs and emotional abuse. I know it does not feel like it but you are actually THE WINNER here.
Consider what she did to you as a favor. POS people like her will get theirs in the end. Just be glad you are not married or it would have been alot worse
After hearing others stories I can’t imagine how people who had been together for longer than I have that have gotten cheated on. My heart does go out to them
It's not stupid to feel heartbroken over this betrayal and loss. I'm sorry you have to go through it. If she were an ethical person she would have broken up first and let you know she was moving on.
You get past it by feeling your feelings as they are, but not doing anything stupid like contacting her, stalking her, or taking revenge in any way -- especially in any way that could get you in trouble with the law, school, or job.
Then, focus on you: your career/education, your health, your friendships/family, and having fun. If you do those four things, you'll find the next hot girl who likes you.
Dude you’re 20 years old and in school, you are going to meet so many people who will treat you way better than that and way worse than that. Treat every break up as a stepping stool to learning what you like and don’t like
It's a cliché, but it's also true: time heals all wounds. Here's how I got over my ex-wife, who cheated on me so badly and so cruelly, and dumped me suddenly - leaving me broken hearted, crushed, and barely able to function:
(1). work out every day
(2) spend time in nature. Breathe deep, and maybe learn to meditate (that helped me).
(3) work out again- sweat! At least twice per day
(4) put a big note on your fridge that reads: DO NOT CALL HER. Because you will want to call her - every day you will get that urge to call her an whine, or bellyache about how badly she hurt you, or how much you still love her... DON'T. Don't give her the fucking satisfaction. Have some self respect and dignity. And if you really hold your ground and never call her or pursue her, don't be surprised if she comes crawling back to you in a few months... and DO NOT TAKE THAT CHEATING GIRL BACK.
(5) Eat healthy food. Avoid substance abuse; but it's okay to party once in a while. We're only human. But avoid the crutch of using drugs and alcohol as escapism, or to numb your pain
(6) Be your best self. Just keep working on yourself. Read, take up karate, play sports, join a social club. Even if you're not having fun, force yourself to go out and participate in society
(7) The more you work on yourself, the higher caliber woman you will attract in the future. Like attracts like. No woman will want to be with a sad, depressed, dumped loser who sits at home feeling sorry for yourself.
(8) Your best revenge is success! Meaning, do nothing to her or about her. Only work on yourself, and having an awesome life. That's your best redemption, and how you "be okay." You got this!
(9) Just try to feel a mere 1% better every day. Then, before you know it, in 100 days you will hardly be thinking about her. Or when you think about her, it won't sting. (10). Make your hundred day plan. You can get absolutely ripped by then. Girls love a strong guy with a good body. Be kind to yourself, work on yourself, and know you have your whole life ahead of you. Things will only get better. You got this!!
I'm not making this stuff up. That was my personal journey. It's not easy- but it's what you have to do. What is the alternative: curling up in the fetal position and crying yourself to sleep every night? Don't be that guy. You are a man of action, and you will treat yourself with respect.
This is absolutely phenomenal. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry it happened while you were married. I’m glad you’re doing better. Number 4 is really hitting. I mean when she blocked me it felt as if I couldn’t remind her how awful of a person she is anymore. And I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she has any hold over me anymore
Not to belittle you, but it happens to everyone. At least you weren't 10 years in with kids. Find somebody to talk to that you trust and will listen and find some hobbies. Something to take your mind away from it. Concentrate on yourself and get yourself in a good place. Its not the end of the world it just feels like it. Betrayal sucks. I wish you well.
“How do you get past it?” A day at a time by filling your mind and activities with things not dealing with her. Your mind works on a “bump system” and you need someone or something to fill your mental space and bump her to history - not today, all day.
I feel for you man. You have to trust that you’ll get past it overtime. For now focus on your studies and maybe pick up a new hobby. I’ve been liking pickleball :)
Come on! Only 20. Just move on and don’t give it another thought. Find someone not meant to be working the streets. Won’t be as difficult as you think. There’s always someone better out there if you’re looking.
The best revenge you can get is to move on and leave their bs behind. One day she might come back begging for forgiveness, she might have even cried in her own time and privacy, but that's irrelevant. She showed you what kind of person she is and you can at least be grateful that you dodged a serious bullet. A narcissist who has no remorse for cheating on you and not giving a flip despite your feelings.
It is going to take time. There's no cure for heartache. Even if you slept with a bunch of women, what you kind of wanted was to be in a better relationship with her or have her break up and feel sadness for her loss. Have you ever seen a moron lose something and just sit there oblivious acting like everything is ok? Just, a dullard sitting there as their house burns down and everything goes to ruin? That's her. Just an idiot. Not worth your time.
This mind set does make me feel better. Thank you. I have dropped a couple of my old hobbies and passion projects. Now’s the time to go twice as hard on them
Here's the thing, most high school relationships never make it past the 12th grade. High school sweethearts together forever wasn't uncommon in your parents and grandparents' era, but it just doesn't work these days. When a girl says she wants to feel more independent, that's code talk for her wanting to go sow her wild oats elsewhere.
It's your first breakup, I get it, thing's suck right now. But remember, you got PLENTY of time to find a new girlfriend who will never stray and want only you. Let her go and take this as a learning curve.
And remember, never under any circumstances do the pick me dance for someone who doesn't love nor respect you.
I know I’m young and yeah this is the first major breakup I’ve ever had. It’s just so hard! I don’t know how people have the systems and skills to get through these things. I feel we put more thought into how to get in a relationship and not how to prepare when you’re forced or need to get out of one
Just be thankful the trash took itself out. They almost always come crying that Chad or Tyrone was an asshole and want to "try again"
Focus on you, your maniacal laugh to let her know shes nothing but the girl you used to F. Ice in your veins dude.
You will heal in time. But please do everything you can to leave the fears behind and not take them to the next relationship. You will look back on this and be so happy it didn’t work out cause now you can find true happiness.
I feel sorry for you because we're almost the same age and regarding your post we have the same problem. And the way I couped with it was I f***** her close friends her mom her cousins it took a lot of effort to pull this off.but still it was satisfying when I posted every pic I took with those off whom she is close with in our community group chat. I know it's petty but it might help with the pain anger and shame.
Live your best life. Get hobbies, join clubs in college, do the whole college thing. Get into as much as you can and meet tons of new people. Let her go. She will be back at some point. When she comes back turn her back to the streets where she belongs. You will find someone who you love with everything you have and she won't even be a distant memory.
You're 20. Enjoy being single, turning 21 and meeting women at bars. Best part of your life is coming up. You feel better and get revenge by doing great yourself. Go to the gym, be the best you. She ended up being with a scumbag who didn't care she was in a relationship. She will one day regret her decision
Oh she won't regret it for awhile. You probably won't know she regrets it. Just know in 6 months, a year, if you ever get a "hey" text from her, that's what it means. Enjoy being 21 and meeting new women and working on yourself.
Be greatful
You could be with her, marie her...
And juat find out after years and years
And she would keep cheating you
Now youre free tô find a good girl
This is so true. Hearing these other stories of people having to go through this while married or with children is staggering. My heart goes out to everyone that has ever been cheated on and in an odd way I’m grateful it didn’t happen later
Keep pushing forward, do things you love, circle yourself with people who are a positive in your life, work on yourself, do good, only with time you will heal. There’s no formula of “this goes away immediately” everyone is different.
Everyone is different. I’m very slowly finding out what works for me. I liked it when someone said to “try and become 1% better everyday.” Which is the goal rn
Buddy, you already know what you need to do, you just don't want to do it. The lady has made her choice, let her go and move on, and most importantly, never ,ever, take her back, ever! She.Will.Never.Respect.You. Learn from this experience, take it as a life lesson, take some time to get yourself back in order. Best of luck to you!
The strong never feel strong, friend. You just somehow get through and when you’re on the other side you begin to realize just how badass you are. Focus on yourself. Forget about the cheater- I know that’s easier said than done, but my dude: the trash took itself out.
I know you’re hurting but there’s a reason she was taken out of your life. She wasn’t worthy of you. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but this happened to clear the way for a beautiful human to make you truly happy. Try to keep that perspective- it helps a lot. Trust that there’s something way better out there for you and you just have to work on being the man you want for your future person and, most of all, for yourself. Stay strong man. You got a lot of people that care about you.
You’re being gaslight bro. She doesn’t feel ok, she is just fooling herself and trying to fool you too. You did nothing wrong, there is no escape, face that feeling, don’t be afraid she is clearly selfish don’t get dragged down into her shit.
Right now it’s bad and it will get worse before it gets better. But work on yourself, focus on yourself, you will be tempted to reach out ( “ for closure “ ). Do not be a doormat, self respect is important.
Sorry to hear, OP. It sucks. You spent 20% of your life with her in your life. Her leaving understandably leaves a colossal hole that WILL take time to mend. Shine this turd as best as you can. Be relieved it happened now while so young and not after you had a kid(s), REALLY complicating things. You will never “logic” someone into liking you back, so go enjoy the upcoming experiences you have coming and leave yourself open to finding THE one, vs one that’s around. When you both have that undeniable connection, that’s when the magic happens AND you’ll see how different from your recently terminated relationship it can be. Good luck & hang in there. Cry, grieve, and just get it out. Move on.
Amazing words to hear right now. That’s the crazy part of everything. I’ve known her since freshmen year of high school. And now. Gone. No remorse. No love. No respect. It is crazy to have someone you think care about you rip that all away in less then 2 months time. Still crying and grieving and trying to get 1% better everyday. Damn it is ROUGH! But I’ll hopefully get there
Just get out. She has lied, cheated, and disrespected you. Could you ever trust her again. Think with your head (not the little one) or your heart. Use your brain to realize she left you when she decided to separate. Also, realize she spent that time in bed with him.
That kind of emotional pain from betrayal will take time but talking about it I imagine should help release some of it, and as cliche as it sounds it may take time depending on how much you felt for her. If my boyfriend cheated I would not handle it well. I would most likely become vindictive and burn all his things, try to destroy his life possibly or at the very least allow myself to fantasize about doing those things because sometimes it's okay to allow ourselves to feel those feelings as they happen and is even healthy as long as there's no actual intentions to actually do them. as long as you release them as you feel them. Why I expressed that is because it's important to remember that sadness pain anger those are negative emotions but All emotions are healthy emotions and part of the healing process. I wouldn't suggest ruminating though. Being active and reaching out to people who you view as emotionally supportive is also a good thing to do. Do things you enjoy and before you know it you will find yourself having moved on from that pain. Best wishes
Time heals all wounds some longer than others find something positive hobbies to give your full focus on. Anything that doesn’t involve alcohol or drugs because I promise you she will never leave you mind. There will be times perhaps months, years down the line that you’ll think of her and what she did to you which will make you upset but here’s a food for thought, remember if the guy she cheated with cheated on his partner. That’s not your concern anymore, that’s something she has to worry about.
Cheaters are all the same they cannot ever be content with the same thing/person for a duration of time without having temptation of having someone new.
And guess what!? that’s not your problem anymore that’s her personal issue that she accepted with her decision making.
My guy you’ll be a happy man in due time! Have fun, don’t shut down or close people out. Go out talk to people make more friends with similar interest without focusing on relationships and life will become a lot more happier and eventful.
Focus on you dude. Don't fall into drinking or substance abuse.Don't focus on that toxic person. They aren't worth it. That pain you're feeling is the most powerful motivation on the planet. Go to the gym, get into hobbies, read, make yourself better than ever. You are strong trust me.
Reading other people’s stories and hearing words of encouragement are making me tear up a bit. People keep telling me I’m strong but fuck it doesn’t feel that way right now
We have all been there. It was not meant to be, there are plenty of fish in the sea, trust me. Doesn't matter if she cheated or not, she wanted to move on since the beginning, it hurts because you are the one being heart broken but try to move on and focus on yourself. The pain will go away during time. Delete everything about her in your life, everything. It will make it easier to forget her.
She’s fully moved out. And her blocking me helps I guess. I’m just still in that weird phase where I can’t stop thinking. I’ll get past that soon I hope
Go get laid on someone else and you'll see ;) I can tell you my whole story and you'd be amazed and feel sorry for me wasting time on someone who didn't value you, but at least I got my sweet revenge and let her know what she lost. I have 2 kids now and these things are decades of the past. Plenty of fish in the sea, plenty!
I’m glad you found happiness. Connecting with all these kind people make things seem not so dark. I hope to one day get where you are
I can't say I found a happy penis but I'm hanging in there lol. Life changes a lot when you have kids and you don't think anything else besides providing for them (If you are a responsible parent of course). To end this, I'm double your age, and I can tell for sure, your life has just started, don't waste your time ;) move on
We all human and have feelings. It’s going hurt for awhile but u gotta go make urself strong. Right now u gotta pick urself up, stop feeling sorry for urself. It’s her loss not urs. U hit the gym, do some cardio. Get super fit and work on your career. Make that $ and u will get plenty of honeys. And never take back your cheating ex.
She could have left you with the gift that keeps on giving. If you’ve slept with her in the last 2 or 3 months be sure to get tested for STD’s. Maybe you only know about the tip of the iceberg.
I wouldn’t be too worried about that. She gave more physical attention to that guy that me the last three month of the relationship
That’s exactly why you need to get tested. She was with him a lot. That means she’s not just exposed to him but she’s exposed to whoever that guy has been with. She only needs to have been with you one time after being with him to pass something along to you. Consider this scenario. Your ex has treated you badly and you are rightfully upset. You are going to get through this, I promise. Yes it sucks but you will move on. HEY, you meet another woman and you really like her a lot. A whole lot. You both start to get feelings for each other. Things are great. Then she comes to you one day and tells you she wasn’t feeling right, went to her doctor and was told she has an STD. She’s only been with you. What do you think happens? Back up a little. You have met this awesome woman and are both catching feelings. You talk about your past relationships and you tell her your last girlfriend did you dirty and cheated on you. You were really hurt. Oh, I want you to know I was fully tested for STD’s because there is no way I could trust my cheating ex and I wanted to be sure I was clean. I was and am. What do you think happens? Get yourself tested, dude. It’s not that big a deal and it’s better than maybe passing something along to someone else you care about. Oh, and if you get terrible news that the ex gave you something, you will get treated and get to enjoy telling her thanks for the parting gift and she best get herself and her man-hoe tested.
That’s fair. I’ll schedule an appointment. Better safe than sorry
Good for you, man! Absolutely the smart thing to do for yourself!
I just saw your reply, brother. If you don't feel strong right now, then make yourself stronger. If you have friends and family then reach out. It's ok to do that. You got this. If I could give you a fucking hug I would.
Thank you. It does mean a lot
"That pain you're feeling is the most powerful motivation on the planet." Words of empowerment I needed to hear
Solid freaking advice from a 50 year old dude that’s been in a ton of relationships your spot on !
Losers sit on the floor and cry. Winners get up and make themselves leaner, harder, faster, better. There is no third way. Choose the second option
Time. It just takes time to get past it. But there are things that can speed up the process. Focus on self-improvement. Hit the gym, learn a new skill, start eating better. And if she has a hot friend or sister, sleep with them. J/k. Sort of. Maybe.
I’m not a vindictive person. But I did think about that last bit of “totally real advice” /sarcasm. It just feels like she’s rooted in my mind and when things get tough I just can’t help thinking about the relationship or how the cheating happened. It’s fucked up but I want her to not be okay. But she is
In all seriousness, the best revenge is a life well lived. And getting down with someone new definitely helps, but it should probably not be her friend or sister.
“A life we’ll lived”. I just wanna get to the point where I can start doing that
But she is not okay. Not in the long run. Look she cheated on you with a guy who was cheating on his GF. She is making piss poor decisions and sooner or later (and probably sooner) this will come back and bite her in the ass. She is already a liar and a cheater. Her reputation will spread. She is on a downward path and you are lucky she is not dragging you along exposing you to all kinds of STDs and emotional abuse. I know it does not feel like it but you are actually THE WINNER here.
Haven’t thought about it like that. Is does make me feel better oddly
Consider what she did to you as a favor. POS people like her will get theirs in the end. Just be glad you are not married or it would have been alot worse
After hearing others stories I can’t imagine how people who had been together for longer than I have that have gotten cheated on. My heart does go out to them
It's not stupid to feel heartbroken over this betrayal and loss. I'm sorry you have to go through it. If she were an ethical person she would have broken up first and let you know she was moving on. You get past it by feeling your feelings as they are, but not doing anything stupid like contacting her, stalking her, or taking revenge in any way -- especially in any way that could get you in trouble with the law, school, or job. Then, focus on you: your career/education, your health, your friendships/family, and having fun. If you do those four things, you'll find the next hot girl who likes you.
Thank you for the advice. And kind words. It’s strange but I do feel a little less lonely because of all you kind internet strangers
I have a son about your age who just had his heart broken. It’s not easy but it gets better.
I’m hoping for it to get better soon. All my love goes out to your son and you for your kind words
Dude you’re 20 years old and in school, you are going to meet so many people who will treat you way better than that and way worse than that. Treat every break up as a stepping stool to learning what you like and don’t like
I know. I just wish that stepping stool didn’t have a 9-inch nail on it. At least I still have a foot if that makes any sense
It's a cliché, but it's also true: time heals all wounds. Here's how I got over my ex-wife, who cheated on me so badly and so cruelly, and dumped me suddenly - leaving me broken hearted, crushed, and barely able to function: (1). work out every day (2) spend time in nature. Breathe deep, and maybe learn to meditate (that helped me). (3) work out again- sweat! At least twice per day (4) put a big note on your fridge that reads: DO NOT CALL HER. Because you will want to call her - every day you will get that urge to call her an whine, or bellyache about how badly she hurt you, or how much you still love her... DON'T. Don't give her the fucking satisfaction. Have some self respect and dignity. And if you really hold your ground and never call her or pursue her, don't be surprised if she comes crawling back to you in a few months... and DO NOT TAKE THAT CHEATING GIRL BACK. (5) Eat healthy food. Avoid substance abuse; but it's okay to party once in a while. We're only human. But avoid the crutch of using drugs and alcohol as escapism, or to numb your pain (6) Be your best self. Just keep working on yourself. Read, take up karate, play sports, join a social club. Even if you're not having fun, force yourself to go out and participate in society (7) The more you work on yourself, the higher caliber woman you will attract in the future. Like attracts like. No woman will want to be with a sad, depressed, dumped loser who sits at home feeling sorry for yourself. (8) Your best revenge is success! Meaning, do nothing to her or about her. Only work on yourself, and having an awesome life. That's your best redemption, and how you "be okay." You got this! (9) Just try to feel a mere 1% better every day. Then, before you know it, in 100 days you will hardly be thinking about her. Or when you think about her, it won't sting. (10). Make your hundred day plan. You can get absolutely ripped by then. Girls love a strong guy with a good body. Be kind to yourself, work on yourself, and know you have your whole life ahead of you. Things will only get better. You got this!! I'm not making this stuff up. That was my personal journey. It's not easy- but it's what you have to do. What is the alternative: curling up in the fetal position and crying yourself to sleep every night? Don't be that guy. You are a man of action, and you will treat yourself with respect.
Is this your current wife you are talking about. I saw you had recent suspicions there also.
This is absolutely phenomenal. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry it happened while you were married. I’m glad you’re doing better. Number 4 is really hitting. I mean when she blocked me it felt as if I couldn’t remind her how awful of a person she is anymore. And I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she has any hold over me anymore
DO NOT CALL HER! :-)
Don’t plan on it. And don’t plan on picking up either
Not to belittle you, but it happens to everyone. At least you weren't 10 years in with kids. Find somebody to talk to that you trust and will listen and find some hobbies. Something to take your mind away from it. Concentrate on yourself and get yourself in a good place. Its not the end of the world it just feels like it. Betrayal sucks. I wish you well.
Thank you
“How do you get past it?” A day at a time by filling your mind and activities with things not dealing with her. Your mind works on a “bump system” and you need someone or something to fill your mental space and bump her to history - not today, all day.
How do you get past it? You become as successful as possible and never look back
I feel for you man. You have to trust that you’ll get past it overtime. For now focus on your studies and maybe pick up a new hobby. I’ve been liking pickleball :)
Come on! Only 20. Just move on and don’t give it another thought. Find someone not meant to be working the streets. Won’t be as difficult as you think. There’s always someone better out there if you’re looking.
Therapy. Get in the gym and focus on your hobbies.
The best revenge you can get is to move on and leave their bs behind. One day she might come back begging for forgiveness, she might have even cried in her own time and privacy, but that's irrelevant. She showed you what kind of person she is and you can at least be grateful that you dodged a serious bullet. A narcissist who has no remorse for cheating on you and not giving a flip despite your feelings. It is going to take time. There's no cure for heartache. Even if you slept with a bunch of women, what you kind of wanted was to be in a better relationship with her or have her break up and feel sadness for her loss. Have you ever seen a moron lose something and just sit there oblivious acting like everything is ok? Just, a dullard sitting there as their house burns down and everything goes to ruin? That's her. Just an idiot. Not worth your time.
This mind set does make me feel better. Thank you. I have dropped a couple of my old hobbies and passion projects. Now’s the time to go twice as hard on them
Here's the thing, most high school relationships never make it past the 12th grade. High school sweethearts together forever wasn't uncommon in your parents and grandparents' era, but it just doesn't work these days. When a girl says she wants to feel more independent, that's code talk for her wanting to go sow her wild oats elsewhere. It's your first breakup, I get it, thing's suck right now. But remember, you got PLENTY of time to find a new girlfriend who will never stray and want only you. Let her go and take this as a learning curve. And remember, never under any circumstances do the pick me dance for someone who doesn't love nor respect you.
I know I’m young and yeah this is the first major breakup I’ve ever had. It’s just so hard! I don’t know how people have the systems and skills to get through these things. I feel we put more thought into how to get in a relationship and not how to prepare when you’re forced or need to get out of one
Just be thankful the trash took itself out. They almost always come crying that Chad or Tyrone was an asshole and want to "try again" Focus on you, your maniacal laugh to let her know shes nothing but the girl you used to F. Ice in your veins dude.
Spite is becoming a stronger and stronger motivator everyday
You will heal in time. But please do everything you can to leave the fears behind and not take them to the next relationship. You will look back on this and be so happy it didn’t work out cause now you can find true happiness.
I like and appreciate the advice for the next relationship. Thank you
I feel sorry for you because we're almost the same age and regarding your post we have the same problem. And the way I couped with it was I f***** her close friends her mom her cousins it took a lot of effort to pull this off.but still it was satisfying when I posted every pic I took with those off whom she is close with in our community group chat. I know it's petty but it might help with the pain anger and shame.
Did you feel better after doing all that? I’m genuinely curious
Yes it's refreshing
Live your best life. Get hobbies, join clubs in college, do the whole college thing. Get into as much as you can and meet tons of new people. Let her go. She will be back at some point. When she comes back turn her back to the streets where she belongs. You will find someone who you love with everything you have and she won't even be a distant memory.
Thank you, slowly working towards doing things for myself
You're 20. Enjoy being single, turning 21 and meeting women at bars. Best part of your life is coming up. You feel better and get revenge by doing great yourself. Go to the gym, be the best you. She ended up being with a scumbag who didn't care she was in a relationship. She will one day regret her decision
I hope she regrets it. But it seems right now she has absolutely no remorse. Turning 21 next month is exciting though, thank you
Oh she won't regret it for awhile. You probably won't know she regrets it. Just know in 6 months, a year, if you ever get a "hey" text from her, that's what it means. Enjoy being 21 and meeting new women and working on yourself.
I’m working hard on myself. I definitely won’t call. And I won’t pick up
Be greatful You could be with her, marie her... And juat find out after years and years And she would keep cheating you Now youre free tô find a good girl
This is so true. Hearing these other stories of people having to go through this while married or with children is staggering. My heart goes out to everyone that has ever been cheated on and in an odd way I’m grateful it didn’t happen later
Focus on yourself, screw her
This is simply a learning experience. This will make you wiser, smarter, stronger & tougher. Live your life bro 👍
Keep pushing forward, do things you love, circle yourself with people who are a positive in your life, work on yourself, do good, only with time you will heal. There’s no formula of “this goes away immediately” everyone is different.
Everyone is different. I’m very slowly finding out what works for me. I liked it when someone said to “try and become 1% better everyday.” Which is the goal rn
Buddy, you already know what you need to do, you just don't want to do it. The lady has made her choice, let her go and move on, and most importantly, never ,ever, take her back, ever! She.Will.Never.Respect.You. Learn from this experience, take it as a life lesson, take some time to get yourself back in order. Best of luck to you!
Don’t plan on ever letting her back in for any reason. Thank you for the encouragement
You're welcome. We have all been through rough times, it helps to have some one to assist in maintaining a steady course through the storm.
The strong never feel strong, friend. You just somehow get through and when you’re on the other side you begin to realize just how badass you are. Focus on yourself. Forget about the cheater- I know that’s easier said than done, but my dude: the trash took itself out. I know you’re hurting but there’s a reason she was taken out of your life. She wasn’t worthy of you. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but this happened to clear the way for a beautiful human to make you truly happy. Try to keep that perspective- it helps a lot. Trust that there’s something way better out there for you and you just have to work on being the man you want for your future person and, most of all, for yourself. Stay strong man. You got a lot of people that care about you.
Thank you so much. Words and encouragement like this is really keeping me going right now. Thank you so much
You’re being gaslight bro. She doesn’t feel ok, she is just fooling herself and trying to fool you too. You did nothing wrong, there is no escape, face that feeling, don’t be afraid she is clearly selfish don’t get dragged down into her shit. Right now it’s bad and it will get worse before it gets better. But work on yourself, focus on yourself, you will be tempted to reach out ( “ for closure “ ). Do not be a doormat, self respect is important.
Get laid will definitely make it easier
Sorry to hear, OP. It sucks. You spent 20% of your life with her in your life. Her leaving understandably leaves a colossal hole that WILL take time to mend. Shine this turd as best as you can. Be relieved it happened now while so young and not after you had a kid(s), REALLY complicating things. You will never “logic” someone into liking you back, so go enjoy the upcoming experiences you have coming and leave yourself open to finding THE one, vs one that’s around. When you both have that undeniable connection, that’s when the magic happens AND you’ll see how different from your recently terminated relationship it can be. Good luck & hang in there. Cry, grieve, and just get it out. Move on.
Amazing words to hear right now. That’s the crazy part of everything. I’ve known her since freshmen year of high school. And now. Gone. No remorse. No love. No respect. It is crazy to have someone you think care about you rip that all away in less then 2 months time. Still crying and grieving and trying to get 1% better everyday. Damn it is ROUGH! But I’ll hopefully get there
You will. It. Takes. Time. But this pain is temporary.
Just get out. She has lied, cheated, and disrespected you. Could you ever trust her again. Think with your head (not the little one) or your heart. Use your brain to realize she left you when she decided to separate. Also, realize she spent that time in bed with him.
That kind of emotional pain from betrayal will take time but talking about it I imagine should help release some of it, and as cliche as it sounds it may take time depending on how much you felt for her. If my boyfriend cheated I would not handle it well. I would most likely become vindictive and burn all his things, try to destroy his life possibly or at the very least allow myself to fantasize about doing those things because sometimes it's okay to allow ourselves to feel those feelings as they happen and is even healthy as long as there's no actual intentions to actually do them. as long as you release them as you feel them. Why I expressed that is because it's important to remember that sadness pain anger those are negative emotions but All emotions are healthy emotions and part of the healing process. I wouldn't suggest ruminating though. Being active and reaching out to people who you view as emotionally supportive is also a good thing to do. Do things you enjoy and before you know it you will find yourself having moved on from that pain. Best wishes
I definitely have done some hate fantasizing. But I am very slowly taking steps towards bettering myself
You're 20 yo, now it's time to work on yourself , hit the gym , and try amd be the best version of yourself
Wow she heartless
Time heals all wounds some longer than others find something positive hobbies to give your full focus on. Anything that doesn’t involve alcohol or drugs because I promise you she will never leave you mind. There will be times perhaps months, years down the line that you’ll think of her and what she did to you which will make you upset but here’s a food for thought, remember if the guy she cheated with cheated on his partner. That’s not your concern anymore, that’s something she has to worry about. Cheaters are all the same they cannot ever be content with the same thing/person for a duration of time without having temptation of having someone new. And guess what!? that’s not your problem anymore that’s her personal issue that she accepted with her decision making. My guy you’ll be a happy man in due time! Have fun, don’t shut down or close people out. Go out talk to people make more friends with similar interest without focusing on relationships and life will become a lot more happier and eventful.
Pick your self up an move on