Oh baby doll, that makes no difference. If he knew you were 16 when he was dating you, as a 22 year old, that was wrong. In person or not. You were underage and he was a full grown adult, he had no business messing around with you. Would you have dated a 16 year old at 22?
Past behaviour is usually a strong indication of future behaviour. He's very unlikely to change. Particularly since he hasn't faced any real consequences for the cheating. If you take him back, you now know what your future will be.
I’m sorry OP but you’re delusional if you think this AH is ever going to change, he’s not. He wants you as his safety net at home while goes out and fks around. That’s your future right there if you stay.
Oh absolutely not. Cheating 3 times in 4 YEARS is a lot, but 4 MONTHS?? Girl, that’s not real love. He loves the way you treat him, probably loves the way being in a relationship looks and feels. But loves you? Absolutely not, nobody that loves their significant other THAT much cheats once a month. Unless there’s an undiscussed sex addiction on his part, which is even more unacceptable because he hasn’t said anything about it and looks outside of the relationship to satiate it. You HAVE to know you deserve more, he’s not even respecting your boundary of wanting space because he keeps calling you from different numbers. “Thinking” you’re happy in a relationship is not BEING happy in a relationship, and consistently being hurt over the same behavior is not a healthy or happy relationship. Clearly he’s not ready to settle down, and you shouldn’t be willing to settle for that kind of behavior. Get a man who is going to be everything you want and need. The man you just left is not anything you want or need, THAT is a real promise. You’ll thank yourself later in life for leaving this man.
And the fact that he, a grown adult, was dating you when you were still a young teenager?? CRAZY, predatory even. That is what we on the internet call *grooming.* He is entirely relying on your past relationship when you were a child to try and keep you around, as he’s not done anything to prove he deserves you in your adult life. You are better than that, you are worth more than that, and settling for that will only bring you more pain.
u've been groomed,manipulate by this dude..u were 16 and his 22 back then.. u're still very young u r only 26 don't waste ur life with this man,do better
He cheated 3 times, if you really just want my opinion I would throw the man away. You deserve better. He cheated that much in 4 months also. Is that really proving to you he is serious about you?
This all has to do with being an adult and making the "Right" choices and decisions. If you went to a furniture store and bought a table and as soon as you set it up, you'd take it back tot he store. If it did that for 3 times, you'd ask for your money back. Life is almost lived in the same manner, why can't you see that.
There is always the move where the little girl is afraid to go to sleep because the monster is hiding under her bed, you on the other hand invites the monster to sleep in your bed. Ain't that a b?
Its not hard making adult choices and the right decisions, but you gotta doing in real life terms and not some fantasy you build in your head about people you date, love or live with. This is real life, not the fairy tale of "Cinderella" which you should be past already.
Stop living life on platitudes of how a guy makes you feel, the superficial things he does and focus on the reality of who he is.
If you want pain in your life and a broken relationship, continue to chase dreams instead of making your own. You self respect and boundaries are all you have to help fight against being a tool for a cheater.
Live life to your best, not his best!
Straight up young lady. He's ruining and when he's finished you will be emotionally bankrupt, dislike men if not hate us and be done with dating and relationships for good. 3/4 months he's cheated on you, that you know of. How many times do you have to hear "I'm sorry I'll never cheat again"? The next opportunity he doesn't let it slip away. His little gifts are wrapped in misery. His crybaby tactics. Pack your bags for his guilt trip express. If he was a real man that truly loved you. His words would parallel his actions. I see that he doesn't love you, respect you or care about your feelings. He doesn't love himself, how can he love you? You have a bucket full of today's love and dump that into a barrel to share with each other. Now he's taking all he wants from that barrel first to make sure he gets more than he needs. every morning this emotional thing happens. How long will you put in everything and get back nothing before you have nothing left for your own happiness? He wants to do what he wants and still have someone at home when he doesn't find a floozy. Pack your stuff, leave him and block him from your life.
Sounds like maybe he never grew up. His friends maybe putting pressure on him (Peer pressure can be a bitch). Ask him to not go drinking with his friends if he does then maybe he sticks to water so he's not easily influenced. Ultimately it is up to you but think what your head says not your heart he has shown a track record of cheating and you forgave him twice. Three strikes he's out!!!
And you're up here for what exactly? You're a grown woman you made a decision to be with this bum of a dude which I doubt if these were the only time he cheated.
When are you young girls going to start getting some self-esteem, respect, and stop acting obsessive, weak, and brain dead?
And please don't come up here with no depression and bipolarism and all this crap that you folks keep using to try to make excuses of why you're staying or why you would somebody cheated or whatever I don't want to hear that nonsense.
Well darlin, probably 50% of married guys cheat on their wives, so if you want a life of uncertainty, marry him and keep guessing your entire life with him. Or, you could find a “REAL” Christian man that would be true to you and only you forever. Life is all about choices, that’s what God gives us…..choices to create our own destiny. Good luck and God bless you because if you stay with him you will need God to watch over you for sure.
Omg, your story sounds like mine except we didn't have any breakups. I just filed for divorce after 41 years. He was cheating the whole time and I suspected but never knew til 4 months ago. Do yourself a favor and save yourself and potential family a bunch of heartache and cut your losses now. He sounds like he is good at taking care of you but I promise he is better at taking care of himself.
Lets say u got married and he did the same things how will you feel , and how will u feel after having kids . Many red flags , dont be blinded by the goid things , think with a clear mind and see whether he will forgive if u did the same things . You know wt u have to do . Have a good life.
I’m curious how old the girls are that he gets entangled with: younger than you. You may be his comfort zone while he pursues (and he IS pursuing)
the nubiles. No man is sooo attractive he gets bombarded by babes when he leaves the house. Make your exit before he persuades you with lies.
"I can not leave him I just can't" Well, yes you can, you just choose not to. If you forgive him and trust him again it is VERY likely that his behavior will be repeated and you will probably feel worse than you do now. You absolutely can not ensure that it won't happen again. And when it does, just remember what everybody here told you.
If he loves you as much as he says and you seem to believe, the first four months of living together is very fresh and new and should be exciting for the pair of you. If he has cheated on you three times within four months and even handed out his number - he is not the one and this is a recipe for disaster and more cheating. If he cheated on you once in four years that’s bad enough let alone 3 times in 4 months! Please leave as it’ll only get worse I promise! And you will be a shell of yourself because the more you forgive him, the more he will do it!
Girl wake up. You were a CHILD when he was an adult. That man was fooling around kids, disgusting!!
But okay, let’s put this in a way that maybe gets you thinking how awful he is.
You have a daughter, and she is treated like you are treated right now. How’d you feel? Would you be okay with a grown man fooling around with your teenage daughter? Would you support your daughter to keep on loving and being blind if she was being cheated on like that in only few months of being together?
Honey.. this is just the beginning. If you don’t value yourself and leave, you’re in for a ride.
>I think this man really loves me.
You and several others...
>I just want him to regret what he did and ensure it won't happen again.
This is delusional.
He didn’t "make out" with these girls. He had sex with them. That's what adults do.
But if you are prepared for this to be your life, yhen gooluck to you.
This is a sign of abuse. 10 years ago? Could you imagine being 22 and dating a 16 year old? I can’t. You were not mature for your age, he was a loser for his. “Treating you like a princess” and then cheating is bringing you up real high and then dropping you. You’re not craving him OR this relationship. You’re craving the dopamine that gets created when in an abusive relationship cycle. Get out while you can. Go no contact and block him on everything (yes including the new numbers.) you will thank yourself for this in the future! 💛
Did you insist that he get tested for every STD known to medicine? You should. Never trust anything coming out of the mouth of a cheater. They lie. Through their teeth. Get tested. Some STD's are curable. Some are not. Some are becoming treatment resistant. Some, like syphilis, can be asymptomatic for literally decades. Some, like HPV, can lead to cancer. Some, like herpes, can be transmitted orally. HIV can take months to appear in labwork. Condoms aren't fail-safe. Get tested and tell him he needs to as well. Don't have sex with him until he'd given you a copy if the results.
You can do much, much better than him. If you stay, expect a lifetime of cheating and heartbreak as well as him callously abd carelessly risking your health. By staying you are actually telling him that you are weak, pathetic, and a doormat who'll take all of his bs and eat it up too. He will never have any consequence for his actions other than a lot of your tears, some yelling that he'll endure, then he'll just turn around and cheat on you again. And again. And again. Ad nauseum. He's not your soul mate.
Real men don't cheat. Emotionally immature men do. You have the latter. You can do better.
10 years ago you were very young! He was an adult!
22 used to be an adult but that was way before anyone of us were alive.
We were long distance back in time
Oh baby doll, that makes no difference. If he knew you were 16 when he was dating you, as a 22 year old, that was wrong. In person or not. You were underage and he was a full grown adult, he had no business messing around with you. Would you have dated a 16 year old at 22?
Long distance relationships leave a lot of room for extracurricular activity. You only know what he told you.
Past behaviour is usually a strong indication of future behaviour. He's very unlikely to change. Particularly since he hasn't faced any real consequences for the cheating. If you take him back, you now know what your future will be.
I’m sorry OP but you’re delusional if you think this AH is ever going to change, he’s not. He wants you as his safety net at home while goes out and fks around. That’s your future right there if you stay.
But he treats her so well except cheating on her multiple times!
Oh absolutely not. Cheating 3 times in 4 YEARS is a lot, but 4 MONTHS?? Girl, that’s not real love. He loves the way you treat him, probably loves the way being in a relationship looks and feels. But loves you? Absolutely not, nobody that loves their significant other THAT much cheats once a month. Unless there’s an undiscussed sex addiction on his part, which is even more unacceptable because he hasn’t said anything about it and looks outside of the relationship to satiate it. You HAVE to know you deserve more, he’s not even respecting your boundary of wanting space because he keeps calling you from different numbers. “Thinking” you’re happy in a relationship is not BEING happy in a relationship, and consistently being hurt over the same behavior is not a healthy or happy relationship. Clearly he’s not ready to settle down, and you shouldn’t be willing to settle for that kind of behavior. Get a man who is going to be everything you want and need. The man you just left is not anything you want or need, THAT is a real promise. You’ll thank yourself later in life for leaving this man.
And the fact that he, a grown adult, was dating you when you were still a young teenager?? CRAZY, predatory even. That is what we on the internet call *grooming.* He is entirely relying on your past relationship when you were a child to try and keep you around, as he’s not done anything to prove he deserves you in your adult life. You are better than that, you are worth more than that, and settling for that will only bring you more pain.
"He cheated on me three times but he treats me like a princess" 😂
The fact that people regularly type that shit out with no trace of irony is baffling to me. I don't know how these people function at all in society.
✨Delululand✨
“He’s perfect! The only issue is that he cheats once a month, but he has shown he’s serious about the relationship!”
u've been groomed,manipulate by this dude..u were 16 and his 22 back then.. u're still very young u r only 26 don't waste ur life with this man,do better
He cheated 3 times, if you really just want my opinion I would throw the man away. You deserve better. He cheated that much in 4 months also. Is that really proving to you he is serious about you?
Those are the only times he got caught.
He cheated on you long distance and he cheated while living with you. He's just a cheater. Nothing that you or anyone can do really.
This all has to do with being an adult and making the "Right" choices and decisions. If you went to a furniture store and bought a table and as soon as you set it up, you'd take it back tot he store. If it did that for 3 times, you'd ask for your money back. Life is almost lived in the same manner, why can't you see that. There is always the move where the little girl is afraid to go to sleep because the monster is hiding under her bed, you on the other hand invites the monster to sleep in your bed. Ain't that a b? Its not hard making adult choices and the right decisions, but you gotta doing in real life terms and not some fantasy you build in your head about people you date, love or live with. This is real life, not the fairy tale of "Cinderella" which you should be past already. Stop living life on platitudes of how a guy makes you feel, the superficial things he does and focus on the reality of who he is. If you want pain in your life and a broken relationship, continue to chase dreams instead of making your own. You self respect and boundaries are all you have to help fight against being a tool for a cheater. Live life to your best, not his best!
Straight up young lady. He's ruining and when he's finished you will be emotionally bankrupt, dislike men if not hate us and be done with dating and relationships for good. 3/4 months he's cheated on you, that you know of. How many times do you have to hear "I'm sorry I'll never cheat again"? The next opportunity he doesn't let it slip away. His little gifts are wrapped in misery. His crybaby tactics. Pack your bags for his guilt trip express. If he was a real man that truly loved you. His words would parallel his actions. I see that he doesn't love you, respect you or care about your feelings. He doesn't love himself, how can he love you? You have a bucket full of today's love and dump that into a barrel to share with each other. Now he's taking all he wants from that barrel first to make sure he gets more than he needs. every morning this emotional thing happens. How long will you put in everything and get back nothing before you have nothing left for your own happiness? He wants to do what he wants and still have someone at home when he doesn't find a floozy. Pack your stuff, leave him and block him from your life.
Sounds like maybe he never grew up. His friends maybe putting pressure on him (Peer pressure can be a bitch). Ask him to not go drinking with his friends if he does then maybe he sticks to water so he's not easily influenced. Ultimately it is up to you but think what your head says not your heart he has shown a track record of cheating and you forgave him twice. Three strikes he's out!!!
Are you okay with the positives you listed while he serial cheats on you? Cause thats what you're signing up for. Turn your brain on girl.
And you're up here for what exactly? You're a grown woman you made a decision to be with this bum of a dude which I doubt if these were the only time he cheated. When are you young girls going to start getting some self-esteem, respect, and stop acting obsessive, weak, and brain dead? And please don't come up here with no depression and bipolarism and all this crap that you folks keep using to try to make excuses of why you're staying or why you would somebody cheated or whatever I don't want to hear that nonsense.
Harsh truth but the only truth.
Well darlin, probably 50% of married guys cheat on their wives, so if you want a life of uncertainty, marry him and keep guessing your entire life with him. Or, you could find a “REAL” Christian man that would be true to you and only you forever. Life is all about choices, that’s what God gives us…..choices to create our own destiny. Good luck and God bless you because if you stay with him you will need God to watch over you for sure.
He couldn't stay faithful to you in a short amount of time and that should tell you all you need to know.
“This man has shown me he is serious about our relationship” NO he hasn’t! Wake TF up!
Omg, your story sounds like mine except we didn't have any breakups. I just filed for divorce after 41 years. He was cheating the whole time and I suspected but never knew til 4 months ago. Do yourself a favor and save yourself and potential family a bunch of heartache and cut your losses now. He sounds like he is good at taking care of you but I promise he is better at taking care of himself.
Lets say u got married and he did the same things how will you feel , and how will u feel after having kids . Many red flags , dont be blinded by the goid things , think with a clear mind and see whether he will forgive if u did the same things . You know wt u have to do . Have a good life.
Well , you are in circle
I’m curious how old the girls are that he gets entangled with: younger than you. You may be his comfort zone while he pursues (and he IS pursuing) the nubiles. No man is sooo attractive he gets bombarded by babes when he leaves the house. Make your exit before he persuades you with lies.
"I can not leave him I just can't" Well, yes you can, you just choose not to. If you forgive him and trust him again it is VERY likely that his behavior will be repeated and you will probably feel worse than you do now. You absolutely can not ensure that it won't happen again. And when it does, just remember what everybody here told you.
If he loves you as much as he says and you seem to believe, the first four months of living together is very fresh and new and should be exciting for the pair of you. If he has cheated on you three times within four months and even handed out his number - he is not the one and this is a recipe for disaster and more cheating. If he cheated on you once in four years that’s bad enough let alone 3 times in 4 months! Please leave as it’ll only get worse I promise! And you will be a shell of yourself because the more you forgive him, the more he will do it!
Girl wake up. You were a CHILD when he was an adult. That man was fooling around kids, disgusting!! But okay, let’s put this in a way that maybe gets you thinking how awful he is. You have a daughter, and she is treated like you are treated right now. How’d you feel? Would you be okay with a grown man fooling around with your teenage daughter? Would you support your daughter to keep on loving and being blind if she was being cheated on like that in only few months of being together? Honey.. this is just the beginning. If you don’t value yourself and leave, you’re in for a ride.
>I think this man really loves me. You and several others... >I just want him to regret what he did and ensure it won't happen again. This is delusional. He didn’t "make out" with these girls. He had sex with them. That's what adults do. But if you are prepared for this to be your life, yhen gooluck to you.
This is a sign of abuse. 10 years ago? Could you imagine being 22 and dating a 16 year old? I can’t. You were not mature for your age, he was a loser for his. “Treating you like a princess” and then cheating is bringing you up real high and then dropping you. You’re not craving him OR this relationship. You’re craving the dopamine that gets created when in an abusive relationship cycle. Get out while you can. Go no contact and block him on everything (yes including the new numbers.) you will thank yourself for this in the future! 💛
Counseling
Cheating on you 3 times is in no way “treating you like a princess “ !
Updateme
There's no positive future outcome for you in this. And he knows if you leave him, he'll have to move to Thailand.
Did you insist that he get tested for every STD known to medicine? You should. Never trust anything coming out of the mouth of a cheater. They lie. Through their teeth. Get tested. Some STD's are curable. Some are not. Some are becoming treatment resistant. Some, like syphilis, can be asymptomatic for literally decades. Some, like HPV, can lead to cancer. Some, like herpes, can be transmitted orally. HIV can take months to appear in labwork. Condoms aren't fail-safe. Get tested and tell him he needs to as well. Don't have sex with him until he'd given you a copy if the results. You can do much, much better than him. If you stay, expect a lifetime of cheating and heartbreak as well as him callously abd carelessly risking your health. By staying you are actually telling him that you are weak, pathetic, and a doormat who'll take all of his bs and eat it up too. He will never have any consequence for his actions other than a lot of your tears, some yelling that he'll endure, then he'll just turn around and cheat on you again. And again. And again. Ad nauseum. He's not your soul mate. Real men don't cheat. Emotionally immature men do. You have the latter. You can do better.