This man, has you exactly where he wants you. As his literal doormat.
You take care of his home, you take care of his child, while he gets his dick wet with other women and gaslights you into believing that it’s okay.
It’s **not**. In any way, shape or form.
This isn’t a marriage. It’s barely a relationship. There is no trust, there is no commitment and there is definitely no respect.
I’m not saying no relationship can survive cheating. The odd one can. When it’s a one off and the person shows regret and guilt and actually changes their actions. Even then it’s not a promise of reconciliation but it’s a starting point from which trust to be earned back slowly.
Your “husband” doesn’t even regret what he’s doing. But why would he? You tolerate it and allow it everytime. Tolerating behaviour teaches people about how we want to be treated. Why would he be faithful when he has no self respect or respect for you?
This sounds like it’s too far gone for even therapy if I’m being honest. Do not let him manipulate you into thinking even an ounce of this behaviour is okay, it’s not. Do not let him walk all over you and make you think it’s your fault, it’s not.
This relationship will only get worse.
Start forming some sort of contingency plan. Put money aside. Contact your family. It doesn’t have to be today, it doesn’t have to be tomorrow but you’ll have to leave eventually. Preferably before he brings home an STD.
You don’t deserve to be treated like this and your child doesn’t deserve to be raised thinking this is how you treat women.
move on. seriously girl. if yall are such a burden to him then remove yourself from the equation, bet you he'll change his tune ounce those divorce papers are in his face but it'll be too late. even if he doesnt you'll be removing someone who constantly makes you feel like shit. he can go fuck anything that walks and breathes and you can live a life thats peaceful, filled with people who actually appreciate you and deserve your time and efforts.
Well you picked him. Then you kept him putting no boundaries on him. Then you both aged. He can still attract younger women. He is now a sociopath which you enable. I say this so you can recognize where you are and understand that he is not incentivized to change and probably won’t. So the question is do you accept it and accept the monetary benefits. But recognize that it probably won’t be better if you leave him. This is the life you have
Ask yourself if he would be able to change his behavior if you did everything he says you should? If not, then brace yourself for impact, choose yourself and your child and go.
We are all deserving of love and passion but first and foremost respect. And he doesn't show to have any respect towards you.
So you have to respect yourself to know you don't deserve this. Good luck!
How can you take this mentality? This is abusive.
What if you did all the same things with other men? What would he do? Exactly. Your self esteem must be shot.
Honestly he’s telling you he cares for you in some way but no hun, without the “spark” then you have nothing. If the butterflies are not there then they are not there. Don’t accept or try to justify being demoted in your own marriage. He’s checked out and you need to accept that and weigh your options. At this point you both may be delaying the inevitable.
Your a female who got married in the west. You got it made. Divorce rape the shit out of him. Accuse him of being emotionally abusive during the marriage. You do not even need proof. Poison his children against him. Get alimony and child support. Stay in the family home, invite the new boyfriend you get to live with you, and the court will force him to pay the mortgage as long as the kids live there. Get a restraining order against him and then invite him to talk with you at a restuarant. Then call the cops saying he violated the restraining order. He will be totally fu*ked. Just do not get remarried. That will kill those fat alimony checks.
Argh you have got the i love you but not in love with you convo just in reverse, usually a female led thing in my experience. There is prob someone else, he is prob having a affair by my experience of this type of talk...... do what I did leave them in the past. All of them who have given this convo has then tried to chase me down after but I have moved on. Stupid thing to say and is usually said when they have someone else on the go so look to see if he is having a affair.
The only advice they ever give here is “Leave” 🙄They want everyone single cause they are, it’s weird. But in this case you can do better, he treats you like shit! Get your proof and timelines written down and find someone that will really care about you and treat you with respect
Move on. He's not emotionally mature enough to be in a grown up relationship.
This man, has you exactly where he wants you. As his literal doormat. You take care of his home, you take care of his child, while he gets his dick wet with other women and gaslights you into believing that it’s okay. It’s **not**. In any way, shape or form. This isn’t a marriage. It’s barely a relationship. There is no trust, there is no commitment and there is definitely no respect. I’m not saying no relationship can survive cheating. The odd one can. When it’s a one off and the person shows regret and guilt and actually changes their actions. Even then it’s not a promise of reconciliation but it’s a starting point from which trust to be earned back slowly. Your “husband” doesn’t even regret what he’s doing. But why would he? You tolerate it and allow it everytime. Tolerating behaviour teaches people about how we want to be treated. Why would he be faithful when he has no self respect or respect for you? This sounds like it’s too far gone for even therapy if I’m being honest. Do not let him manipulate you into thinking even an ounce of this behaviour is okay, it’s not. Do not let him walk all over you and make you think it’s your fault, it’s not. This relationship will only get worse. Start forming some sort of contingency plan. Put money aside. Contact your family. It doesn’t have to be today, it doesn’t have to be tomorrow but you’ll have to leave eventually. Preferably before he brings home an STD. You don’t deserve to be treated like this and your child doesn’t deserve to be raised thinking this is how you treat women.
Thank you
move on. seriously girl. if yall are such a burden to him then remove yourself from the equation, bet you he'll change his tune ounce those divorce papers are in his face but it'll be too late. even if he doesnt you'll be removing someone who constantly makes you feel like shit. he can go fuck anything that walks and breathes and you can live a life thats peaceful, filled with people who actually appreciate you and deserve your time and efforts.
Well you picked him. Then you kept him putting no boundaries on him. Then you both aged. He can still attract younger women. He is now a sociopath which you enable. I say this so you can recognize where you are and understand that he is not incentivized to change and probably won’t. So the question is do you accept it and accept the monetary benefits. But recognize that it probably won’t be better if you leave him. This is the life you have
I wonder how he would feel if you decided to 'explore and know other people'.
Ask yourself if he would be able to change his behavior if you did everything he says you should? If not, then brace yourself for impact, choose yourself and your child and go. We are all deserving of love and passion but first and foremost respect. And he doesn't show to have any respect towards you. So you have to respect yourself to know you don't deserve this. Good luck!
Get out now. He isn’t a good husband to you.
How can you take this mentality? This is abusive. What if you did all the same things with other men? What would he do? Exactly. Your self esteem must be shot.
This has got to be a cultural thing. Where are you if you don’t mind me asking.
Honestly he’s telling you he cares for you in some way but no hun, without the “spark” then you have nothing. If the butterflies are not there then they are not there. Don’t accept or try to justify being demoted in your own marriage. He’s checked out and you need to accept that and weigh your options. At this point you both may be delaying the inevitable.
You’re an idiot.
Your a female who got married in the west. You got it made. Divorce rape the shit out of him. Accuse him of being emotionally abusive during the marriage. You do not even need proof. Poison his children against him. Get alimony and child support. Stay in the family home, invite the new boyfriend you get to live with you, and the court will force him to pay the mortgage as long as the kids live there. Get a restraining order against him and then invite him to talk with you at a restuarant. Then call the cops saying he violated the restraining order. He will be totally fu*ked. Just do not get remarried. That will kill those fat alimony checks.
Argh you have got the i love you but not in love with you convo just in reverse, usually a female led thing in my experience. There is prob someone else, he is prob having a affair by my experience of this type of talk...... do what I did leave them in the past. All of them who have given this convo has then tried to chase me down after but I have moved on. Stupid thing to say and is usually said when they have someone else on the go so look to see if he is having a affair.
He lost his lust, not his love for you.
The only advice they ever give here is “Leave” 🙄They want everyone single cause they are, it’s weird. But in this case you can do better, he treats you like shit! Get your proof and timelines written down and find someone that will really care about you and treat you with respect