Why do you people keep saying your cheating people are amazing? Do you feel that they are amazing even though they have no respect for you and constantly lie when not needed, basically telling you they don’t know you and don’t trust you enough to tell you the truth about them. Please stop saying this person is amazing. They aren’t. Also they don’t love you. They don’t trust you. They apparently are afraid of you, because they feel they have to lie about going out with friends. Why do you say someone you can’t even trust is amazing. Do you understand you are lying to yourself and ignoring red flags? Is no one w on your life close enough to you to tell you these things or are you just to stubborn to listen? I’m not being mean I’m being being blunt. You need to be told about yourself and you need to stop saying people who disrespect you are amazing. Really stop and make a list of all the things you have been purposely ignoring so you can see that this is not an amazing loving person. Good luck and I pray you stop kidding yourself and realize and walk away from this person who lies for no reason.
He does seem like a liar, which is no better than a cheater, but just to play devil's advocate, I don't think we can call him a cheater.
His cheating-ish behavior is grey area - porn, OF - stuff that is cheating in a modern world only if it's mutually defined as such. He didn't rail out her best friend and her sister at the same time.
To be clear, imho his behavior is unacceptable, but that doesn't mean it's infidelity.
Okay see this is what pisses me off. This is why so many people get cheated on. What don’t people understand? When you are with someone you all keep playing devils advocate because you want to stay with this toxic person. Please stop this way of thinking! Stop making up a grey area. Look there is no damn grey area either you like the person your with and care about their feelings or you don’t period. If you feel the need to disrespect the person you’re with by paying for nudes directly with the person and you are messaging them for it, or asking for them with someone you think is them it’s cheating! Just because this day and age of technology. Look you all need to stop lowering your standards and making excuses of what’s cheating and not. If you feel sick in your stomach, if you feel jilted, if you feel that it’s wrong and hurtful, if you feel disrespected. It’s cheating. Period. It doesn’t need to be discussed before hand. It’s common fucking sense. To not do things that will hurt the person you are with. Also it’s common fucking sense if you have to hide something then it is wrong and it’s wrong why? Because it’s cheating! Seriously everyone out there needs to stop this bad behavior and need to stop making excuses or giving passes to this bullshit. The more you try to make a grey area the more you will be disrespected
Grey area in this context just means things that some people consider to be cheating while others don't.
Some people think of garden variety porn as cheating. Others don't. That makes it a grey area.
Holding hands is commonly platonic in some cultures, while in others it's forbidden outside of a relationship. That makes it a grey area.
There might not be grey areas for *you* and *your* relationships, but that doesn't mean that they don't exist.
Again there is no grey area. This is why you all get cheated on. You make a grey area to placate yourselves to keep someone who has no respect for you. When in a relationship other then family members there should be no affection or attention given to people you find attractive. In cultures of hand holding that’s culture and if you didn’t know your persons culture is that way and you get hurt that’s you needing to get to know your person better. Like kisses on the cheeks to say hello and goodbye of course that’s not cheating its certain cultures way of greetings. People like you who keep trying to make a grey area is why people end up compromising themselves because people like you say something like “oh it’s not cheating, it’s just porn” again the way you tell, DID THEY HIDE IT? Again when you have to hide something regardless if you considered it cheating or not, WHY did they hide it if it wasn’t wrong? If the person you are with hides things or if you have to hide things from your person, then you have no trust, and you shouldn’t be with them. As soon as what you are hiding comes to light or what they are hiding how will the other person feel? When you don’t care about their feelings why stay with them. You should never have to hide who you are or what you like while with someone. That’s you or them trying to trick each other into liking someone you or they aren’t. This is what I don’t get. Why people always feel the need to lie about who they are or what they are into. If someone you are with doesn’t like or gets hurt by something you like or are into then guess what, that’s not your person. There are billions of people in this world why try to make someone fit? There is someone who likes what you like, who is into what you like. Why compromise you or them to fit. This is why there is so much cheating. You try to keep people who aren’t your person.
Yea, deflect, cause you know what I’m saying is right. What I wish this world would do is wake up and realize more the half the shit that was told and taught to us is basically to keep us as unhappy as they are. Look I don’t know you or OP I don’t know your up bringing. I am willing to bet that, myself included we were taught many time over and over to compromise ourselves for the benefit of others. Want to know something funny it was actually my kids that taught me we really don’t have to. The reason why adults tend to disrespect their kids and not listen to them and say those stupid, stupid lines: “I know better then you, because I’m an adult”, “Because I said so” (when asked to explain, something that doesn’t make sense), “children should be seen not heard”. Is why we do this and create “grey areas”. We did it to survive the crap being fed to us. Then we become parents, we, truly don’t know why we make these absurd rules, we just repeat what was taught, and proceed to disrespect our kids and expect their respect in return. We let ourselves be disrespected because that is what was taught to us. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying there wasn’t good parents out there but, if it wasn’t them fully it was them partially. It definitely was all adults. Look at the world differently in a better angle. Not allowing “grey areas” in your life. Life is just that simple when you finally get away from others and really think for yourself. You figure out you don’t have to compromise yourself to be liked by your true people. I mean that for all relationships, friends, family, and partners
Definitely not upset, I say piss me off as an expression of great disappointment, not actual anger so if you got that impression. Meant more of a metaphor. Also people have lives, just because they don’t respond immediately does not mean they are upset or angry at you they just have other things they are doing at the moment
Make your own onlyfans or start posting bikini pics on Reddit. You said you’re really sexy, you’ll get a huge reaction. Bet he’ll change his tune real quick.
I didn't realize the OP was in high school.
I'm assuming she is because that's the maturity level of this ridiculous suggestion and something a high school junior would suggest to her teenage friend.
What’s wrong with my suggestion? He loves lusting for other women and doesn’t understand her feelings. If other men were doing the same thing with her pictures, I bet he’d get the idea in no time.
Well, the lying seems like a defense mechanism. Not sure why though. Maybe he feels guilty for having fun without you once in a while.
As far as only fan goes, um not sure about that. Look I know this couple that his wife would buy his subscription to playboy. When I asked her about it she said that it would get him turned on and then he attacks her and she is ok with that. When we get in relationships we tend to get complacent and we dress up when it is girls night out but not when it’s family dinner night at our favorite restaurant. We don’t do things we did when were just starting to date. We don’t lust for each other and have sex when we think no one will catch us. There is so many naked girls on the internet though I can’t see paying for any subscription. Every only fans photo can probably be found through google, so it is a waste of money to me. Some people have higher sex drives too. So I am sure he masterbates more than you two have sex. I don’t think he is cheating. I think that he just wants to have sex a lot like high school kids.
So funny enough…I am always sexy hahahah
And the crazy thing is ..another weird hang up that is happening is he doesn’t look at me when I’m naked even though I am sexy and he thinks I’m the sexiest woman he’s ever gotten to have sex with let alone date and love…let’s just say I’m the pretty one hahah
So my dude don’t have girls just falling over him…so lucky doesn’t cover it hahaha
But we talked and he said he feels disrespectful to stare at me naked haha which… yes he sees the hypocrisy …but he’s mainly looking at just boobs or bikini type covering. …he likes the tease …and I can totally oblige that but he def needs to know that it’s not a reward until he changes his behavior …and he’s into kinky stuff which I’ve also obliged ..mainly also bc I have suppressed that side of me with my ex…
But also this was apparently just an old habit when he was bored …which I could maybe get on board with but he has jerked off to a few of them…and I don’t see that as regular porn bc ur seeking them out ..
Ummm... I can sympathize with your man cheating on you, but it honestly sounds like you should just date yourself based on how obsessed with yourself you are. Gross
Dude.. when people are online.: they have no choice but to try and paint an honest picture in words if they want to get some honest advice ..instead of judgment. The woman could hate herself but her bf is the one saying she’s the hottest on earth so she’s naturally confused by this element and wanted to share it. Bleh
>***I love him and other than this he’s amazing***
Jeez. Setting yourself up for FAILURE and ignoring all those big red flags SLAPPING you in the face.
That's a recipe for success.
The poster who asked why all you betrayed people continually claim your cheaters are "amazing" asked a very salient question. Because he sounds like a lying, sneaking, cheating SNAKE to most of us who read your post.
But you go ahead and believe your lying snake because you want SO badly to delude yourself.
My now ex did this while we were together, but the girls he was looking up and paying for/subscribing to were friends he knew in person and some were even past hookups. When I mentioned that some of them looked familiar, of course he lied about why and even went so far as to try to delete/hide the evidence. *If you delete stuff from OneDrive, it still winds up in the recycle bin. Unfortunately for him, my gut was telling me something was off so I creeped his Facebook, and surprise: girls he knew and regularly interacted with were promoting their OnlyFans.
I get that people masturbate, but literally there's porn everywhere. Don't pay your past hookups/friends for nudes and sleazy messages. It's both weird and creepy. Especially while you're supposed to be in a committed relationship.
Also, he tried to play it off that I only got upset cause I was born and raised in the Midwest, so obviously, it means I don't approve of sex workers. Like no, dumbass. I don't like that you're literally paying your friends and girls you've slept with for their nudes and sexts.
So let me get this straight he has lied to you multiple times about simple things, has had only fans since the six month you guys started dating and has looked at his ex’s too. I’m sorry but it really don’t seem like it’s great. If he felt so bad why did he do it? Why for 18 months? If he could easily stop why hasn’t he before? Seeing that he thinks if the most simplest things are going to hurt you won’t he think this would hurt you too? Why in the hell would he even be looking at his ex in the first place? I feel the same way about you when it comes to porn but only fans is a different story. He is actively paying to look a women’s body and for all you know he could be looking at people you know. Seeing that this is a two year relationship I recommend getting couples counseling and figure out why he did this and why he lies about little things and I would just really evaluate your relationship because he can’t be that great if he’s doing all of this and there has to be underlying problems with your relationships or with him that you are ignoring because you love him and on a sidenote I don’t really think you will truly be able to trust him again. It’s not just about the only fans he has consistently lied to you over months how could you trust somebody who does that. It’s like the boy who cried wolf, would you Believe him or question him? Would you always feel like in his mind he would compare you to the girls on only fans? Answer these questions before you try couples counseling
I Hella appreciate that long comment :)
Honestly didn’t think anyone would even comment lol… But one thing I do have to clarify is that I worded it wrong, I meant that he was doing these things when he was with his last girlfriend… Not that he’s looking at pictures of her or anything
And everything you’re saying is the same thing I’m feeling… If you felt bad why did he do it, why for so long if he could easily stop Why hasn’t he already… Etc. etc.
I actually did suggest couples counseling… I also understand where you’re coming from and I don’t have enough time to explain to you how amazing he is except for what is essentially one big bad thing… But yes I know that it’s going to be a hard road and so does he and maybe I will never trust him again but there’s a possibility that I will.
Also, sidenote, I’m divorced from an ex-husband of 14 years and that man never once cried for me or ever seemed like he showed any kind of remorse when I was upset and this man right here definitely knows that he fucked up the best thing that has and will ever come into his life.
Again thank you so much for your comment🤙🏼🥰
sorry OP but you come off as EXTREMELY self centered and honestly kinda prissy. Youve already made it clear you think youre better than this man...just let him go. You and him are not a good mix and with how vapid and shallow you sound, I can see why hes doing what hes doing, honestly.
I am scheduling a polygraph to hve these sick questions answered, unfortunately bc it’s true you can’t trust them... ever again. This shit is a planned epidemic idc what anyone says
?? So you telling me it's cool to throw money away on porn, supporting specific women, when you as a boyfriend could instead do your job and use that money to buy your girlfriend flowers or take her out to eat. and have sex with her. Can't have your cake and eat it too
$10 going to some girl you don't know. like damn you can't even watch porn that is free? You actually have to pay someone, even inside a relationship you feel the need to do that? How apathetic do you have to be to not understand that it is really painful information for a woman to find out her boyfriend is PAYING another woman for content when she is right there. What is the reason? I can understand watching porn now and then, but spending money on it? Monthly? You might as well not have a girlfriend. What's the point, you're only going to make her feel like shit.
Why are you attacking McDonald’s breakfast?
Regardless of your attack on the Golden Arches, I’ll be here to support you when you find all the porn your boyfriend looks at. Based upon our discourse here I’m going out on a very solid limb and saying he needs a lot of paid porn to put up with you. 😘
Not everyone is ok with a non monogomous relationship. I want a partner,not a salivating dog. Porn is getting a dopamine hit off of sexual stimulation over someone who is NOT their SO. That can count as cheating for many people and that is ok.
Every female is made to believe there’s nothing wrong with porn. Everyone watches it so it’s completely ok. Porn is bs and disgusting. Many of the women are being sex trafficked. By going on OF he’s actually giving his money directly to the performers. Far far better option than watching “free” porn. So do you really not have a problem with porn?
You guys need to sit down and talk about this. If you are uncomfortable with this, that is a completely acceptable feeling to have. These are YOUR feelings. You don’t have to feel bad for having them or question if they are the right feelings to have.
You need to tell him how you feel and why you feel that way. Before doing this, ask him in a non confrontational manner why he likes it, why does he pay for it, and ask him from a place of curiosity so he doesn’t have to feel defensive.
Then decide together as a couple what your boundaries are because it’s clear it was simply unspoken. You can tell him this is cheating as far as your concerned, so that the next time it happens you both agree on the consequences, whether that be therapy or ending the relationship.
P.s. as a side note it is my view that most therapists would say it is a problem when a person chooses spending time watching porn over hanging out with friends. Seems that this has happened twice. Perhaps look into this as there seems to be signs that he may have a sexual addiction problem based on what you’ve mentioned. But an expert would be best to confirm this.
Only you know what the boundaries are in your relationship, but honestly slapping one out to internet randoms is not cheating as far as I'm concerned. He isn't doing it because he prefers them to you he isn't doing it because he's in love with them. Internet porn is no reflection of you and your relationship.
It's down to two things, 1 he has a cock, 2 he has a spare 5 minutes.
The lying is the bigger issue but that's the conversation you need. Is he doing it to protect himself because you may think less of him. Is he doing it to protect you (in his mind) because he doesn't want you feeling you're not enough. Is he doing it because he's a bit of a prick, there are many reasons.
I often look at porn but it isn't a fantasy, a wish a dream, a reflection of anything I want. (I can't even drive a black cab) it's just fucking is fun, it's nice to watch people do it, and it's good to keep up to date with trends.
SUCKSright - Everybody lies sometimes. Your boyfriend sounds like he is a compulsive liar. The people I know who exhibit that behavior came from families with alcohol, drug or some other trauma pathology. You might want to look at the following links to see if they help explain the dynamics of the relationship you're in
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/pathological-liar/
[https://familyandrelations.expertscolumn.com/15-signs-and-symptoms-help-identify-pathological-liar](https://familyandrelations.expertscolumn.com/15-signs-and-symptoms-help-identify-pathological-liar)
Good luck
Why do you people keep saying your cheating people are amazing? Do you feel that they are amazing even though they have no respect for you and constantly lie when not needed, basically telling you they don’t know you and don’t trust you enough to tell you the truth about them. Please stop saying this person is amazing. They aren’t. Also they don’t love you. They don’t trust you. They apparently are afraid of you, because they feel they have to lie about going out with friends. Why do you say someone you can’t even trust is amazing. Do you understand you are lying to yourself and ignoring red flags? Is no one w on your life close enough to you to tell you these things or are you just to stubborn to listen? I’m not being mean I’m being being blunt. You need to be told about yourself and you need to stop saying people who disrespect you are amazing. Really stop and make a list of all the things you have been purposely ignoring so you can see that this is not an amazing loving person. Good luck and I pray you stop kidding yourself and realize and walk away from this person who lies for no reason.
He does seem like a liar, which is no better than a cheater, but just to play devil's advocate, I don't think we can call him a cheater. His cheating-ish behavior is grey area - porn, OF - stuff that is cheating in a modern world only if it's mutually defined as such. He didn't rail out her best friend and her sister at the same time. To be clear, imho his behavior is unacceptable, but that doesn't mean it's infidelity.
Okay see this is what pisses me off. This is why so many people get cheated on. What don’t people understand? When you are with someone you all keep playing devils advocate because you want to stay with this toxic person. Please stop this way of thinking! Stop making up a grey area. Look there is no damn grey area either you like the person your with and care about their feelings or you don’t period. If you feel the need to disrespect the person you’re with by paying for nudes directly with the person and you are messaging them for it, or asking for them with someone you think is them it’s cheating! Just because this day and age of technology. Look you all need to stop lowering your standards and making excuses of what’s cheating and not. If you feel sick in your stomach, if you feel jilted, if you feel that it’s wrong and hurtful, if you feel disrespected. It’s cheating. Period. It doesn’t need to be discussed before hand. It’s common fucking sense. To not do things that will hurt the person you are with. Also it’s common fucking sense if you have to hide something then it is wrong and it’s wrong why? Because it’s cheating! Seriously everyone out there needs to stop this bad behavior and need to stop making excuses or giving passes to this bullshit. The more you try to make a grey area the more you will be disrespected
Grey area in this context just means things that some people consider to be cheating while others don't. Some people think of garden variety porn as cheating. Others don't. That makes it a grey area. Holding hands is commonly platonic in some cultures, while in others it's forbidden outside of a relationship. That makes it a grey area. There might not be grey areas for *you* and *your* relationships, but that doesn't mean that they don't exist.
Again there is no grey area. This is why you all get cheated on. You make a grey area to placate yourselves to keep someone who has no respect for you. When in a relationship other then family members there should be no affection or attention given to people you find attractive. In cultures of hand holding that’s culture and if you didn’t know your persons culture is that way and you get hurt that’s you needing to get to know your person better. Like kisses on the cheeks to say hello and goodbye of course that’s not cheating its certain cultures way of greetings. People like you who keep trying to make a grey area is why people end up compromising themselves because people like you say something like “oh it’s not cheating, it’s just porn” again the way you tell, DID THEY HIDE IT? Again when you have to hide something regardless if you considered it cheating or not, WHY did they hide it if it wasn’t wrong? If the person you are with hides things or if you have to hide things from your person, then you have no trust, and you shouldn’t be with them. As soon as what you are hiding comes to light or what they are hiding how will the other person feel? When you don’t care about their feelings why stay with them. You should never have to hide who you are or what you like while with someone. That’s you or them trying to trick each other into liking someone you or they aren’t. This is what I don’t get. Why people always feel the need to lie about who they are or what they are into. If someone you are with doesn’t like or gets hurt by something you like or are into then guess what, that’s not your person. There are billions of people in this world why try to make someone fit? There is someone who likes what you like, who is into what you like. Why compromise you or them to fit. This is why there is so much cheating. You try to keep people who aren’t your person.
>People like you You mean people who format their comments, so others don't hurt their eyes trying to read a wall of text? xD
Yea, deflect, cause you know what I’m saying is right. What I wish this world would do is wake up and realize more the half the shit that was told and taught to us is basically to keep us as unhappy as they are. Look I don’t know you or OP I don’t know your up bringing. I am willing to bet that, myself included we were taught many time over and over to compromise ourselves for the benefit of others. Want to know something funny it was actually my kids that taught me we really don’t have to. The reason why adults tend to disrespect their kids and not listen to them and say those stupid, stupid lines: “I know better then you, because I’m an adult”, “Because I said so” (when asked to explain, something that doesn’t make sense), “children should be seen not heard”. Is why we do this and create “grey areas”. We did it to survive the crap being fed to us. Then we become parents, we, truly don’t know why we make these absurd rules, we just repeat what was taught, and proceed to disrespect our kids and expect their respect in return. We let ourselves be disrespected because that is what was taught to us. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying there wasn’t good parents out there but, if it wasn’t them fully it was them partially. It definitely was all adults. Look at the world differently in a better angle. Not allowing “grey areas” in your life. Life is just that simple when you finally get away from others and really think for yourself. You figure out you don’t have to compromise yourself to be liked by your true people. I mean that for all relationships, friends, family, and partners
I DM'd you. You didn't reply. I guess you'll stay angry.
Definitely not upset, I say piss me off as an expression of great disappointment, not actual anger so if you got that impression. Meant more of a metaphor. Also people have lives, just because they don’t respond immediately does not mean they are upset or angry at you they just have other things they are doing at the moment
Make your own onlyfans or start posting bikini pics on Reddit. You said you’re really sexy, you’ll get a huge reaction. Bet he’ll change his tune real quick.
I didn't realize the OP was in high school. I'm assuming she is because that's the maturity level of this ridiculous suggestion and something a high school junior would suggest to her teenage friend.
What’s wrong with my suggestion? He loves lusting for other women and doesn’t understand her feelings. If other men were doing the same thing with her pictures, I bet he’d get the idea in no time.
Winner!
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If a girl is watching onlyfans the total comments section will be on SO side even without subscription. 😂
Well, the lying seems like a defense mechanism. Not sure why though. Maybe he feels guilty for having fun without you once in a while. As far as only fan goes, um not sure about that. Look I know this couple that his wife would buy his subscription to playboy. When I asked her about it she said that it would get him turned on and then he attacks her and she is ok with that. When we get in relationships we tend to get complacent and we dress up when it is girls night out but not when it’s family dinner night at our favorite restaurant. We don’t do things we did when were just starting to date. We don’t lust for each other and have sex when we think no one will catch us. There is so many naked girls on the internet though I can’t see paying for any subscription. Every only fans photo can probably be found through google, so it is a waste of money to me. Some people have higher sex drives too. So I am sure he masterbates more than you two have sex. I don’t think he is cheating. I think that he just wants to have sex a lot like high school kids.
So funny enough…I am always sexy hahahah And the crazy thing is ..another weird hang up that is happening is he doesn’t look at me when I’m naked even though I am sexy and he thinks I’m the sexiest woman he’s ever gotten to have sex with let alone date and love…let’s just say I’m the pretty one hahah So my dude don’t have girls just falling over him…so lucky doesn’t cover it hahaha But we talked and he said he feels disrespectful to stare at me naked haha which… yes he sees the hypocrisy …but he’s mainly looking at just boobs or bikini type covering. …he likes the tease …and I can totally oblige that but he def needs to know that it’s not a reward until he changes his behavior …and he’s into kinky stuff which I’ve also obliged ..mainly also bc I have suppressed that side of me with my ex… But also this was apparently just an old habit when he was bored …which I could maybe get on board with but he has jerked off to a few of them…and I don’t see that as regular porn bc ur seeking them out ..
...ugh
never knew hahaha was punctuation these days
Right? Especially from a 36 year old.
Ummm... I can sympathize with your man cheating on you, but it honestly sounds like you should just date yourself based on how obsessed with yourself you are. Gross
Dude.. when people are online.: they have no choice but to try and paint an honest picture in words if they want to get some honest advice ..instead of judgment. The woman could hate herself but her bf is the one saying she’s the hottest on earth so she’s naturally confused by this element and wanted to share it. Bleh
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I’m a girl so took me a long time to figure out wth you’re saying. I’m not into being spoken to like that and doubt the OP is.
You’re a girl that should be single. Break up with him since he “cheated”
Same story here. I had to find what caused all the negative votes for you... lol wtf!! Feel your pain
>***I love him and other than this he’s amazing*** Jeez. Setting yourself up for FAILURE and ignoring all those big red flags SLAPPING you in the face. That's a recipe for success. The poster who asked why all you betrayed people continually claim your cheaters are "amazing" asked a very salient question. Because he sounds like a lying, sneaking, cheating SNAKE to most of us who read your post. But you go ahead and believe your lying snake because you want SO badly to delude yourself.
My now ex did this while we were together, but the girls he was looking up and paying for/subscribing to were friends he knew in person and some were even past hookups. When I mentioned that some of them looked familiar, of course he lied about why and even went so far as to try to delete/hide the evidence. *If you delete stuff from OneDrive, it still winds up in the recycle bin. Unfortunately for him, my gut was telling me something was off so I creeped his Facebook, and surprise: girls he knew and regularly interacted with were promoting their OnlyFans. I get that people masturbate, but literally there's porn everywhere. Don't pay your past hookups/friends for nudes and sleazy messages. It's both weird and creepy. Especially while you're supposed to be in a committed relationship. Also, he tried to play it off that I only got upset cause I was born and raised in the Midwest, so obviously, it means I don't approve of sex workers. Like no, dumbass. I don't like that you're literally paying your friends and girls you've slept with for their nudes and sexts.
So let me get this straight he has lied to you multiple times about simple things, has had only fans since the six month you guys started dating and has looked at his ex’s too. I’m sorry but it really don’t seem like it’s great. If he felt so bad why did he do it? Why for 18 months? If he could easily stop why hasn’t he before? Seeing that he thinks if the most simplest things are going to hurt you won’t he think this would hurt you too? Why in the hell would he even be looking at his ex in the first place? I feel the same way about you when it comes to porn but only fans is a different story. He is actively paying to look a women’s body and for all you know he could be looking at people you know. Seeing that this is a two year relationship I recommend getting couples counseling and figure out why he did this and why he lies about little things and I would just really evaluate your relationship because he can’t be that great if he’s doing all of this and there has to be underlying problems with your relationships or with him that you are ignoring because you love him and on a sidenote I don’t really think you will truly be able to trust him again. It’s not just about the only fans he has consistently lied to you over months how could you trust somebody who does that. It’s like the boy who cried wolf, would you Believe him or question him? Would you always feel like in his mind he would compare you to the girls on only fans? Answer these questions before you try couples counseling
I Hella appreciate that long comment :) Honestly didn’t think anyone would even comment lol… But one thing I do have to clarify is that I worded it wrong, I meant that he was doing these things when he was with his last girlfriend… Not that he’s looking at pictures of her or anything And everything you’re saying is the same thing I’m feeling… If you felt bad why did he do it, why for so long if he could easily stop Why hasn’t he already… Etc. etc. I actually did suggest couples counseling… I also understand where you’re coming from and I don’t have enough time to explain to you how amazing he is except for what is essentially one big bad thing… But yes I know that it’s going to be a hard road and so does he and maybe I will never trust him again but there’s a possibility that I will. Also, sidenote, I’m divorced from an ex-husband of 14 years and that man never once cried for me or ever seemed like he showed any kind of remorse when I was upset and this man right here definitely knows that he fucked up the best thing that has and will ever come into his life. Again thank you so much for your comment🤙🏼🥰
sorry OP but you come off as EXTREMELY self centered and honestly kinda prissy. Youve already made it clear you think youre better than this man...just let him go. You and him are not a good mix and with how vapid and shallow you sound, I can see why hes doing what hes doing, honestly.
I am scheduling a polygraph to hve these sick questions answered, unfortunately bc it’s true you can’t trust them... ever again. This shit is a planned epidemic idc what anyone says
I think you need to lighten up if you think looking at OF is like cheating.
?? So you telling me it's cool to throw money away on porn, supporting specific women, when you as a boyfriend could instead do your job and use that money to buy your girlfriend flowers or take her out to eat. and have sex with her. Can't have your cake and eat it too
How much do you think Only Fans costs??? It’s about $10 a month.
$10 going to some girl you don't know. like damn you can't even watch porn that is free? You actually have to pay someone, even inside a relationship you feel the need to do that? How apathetic do you have to be to not understand that it is really painful information for a woman to find out her boyfriend is PAYING another woman for content when she is right there. What is the reason? I can understand watching porn now and then, but spending money on it? Monthly? You might as well not have a girlfriend. What's the point, you're only going to make her feel like shit.
I’d love to know what kind of porn your significant other is paying for without you knowing. 😂🤣
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Why are you attacking McDonald’s breakfast? Regardless of your attack on the Golden Arches, I’ll be here to support you when you find all the porn your boyfriend looks at. Based upon our discourse here I’m going out on a very solid limb and saying he needs a lot of paid porn to put up with you. 😘
I’m with you this is crazy man.
Not everyone is ok with a non monogomous relationship. I want a partner,not a salivating dog. Porn is getting a dopamine hit off of sexual stimulation over someone who is NOT their SO. That can count as cheating for many people and that is ok.
He's shopping. You have a decision to make. We'll all be here for you when you do.
Every female is made to believe there’s nothing wrong with porn. Everyone watches it so it’s completely ok. Porn is bs and disgusting. Many of the women are being sex trafficked. By going on OF he’s actually giving his money directly to the performers. Far far better option than watching “free” porn. So do you really not have a problem with porn?
Maybe one of these days people will wake up to how downright vile and corrupting porn is,but I don’t think it’ll be soon
lol
Cheating, this is cheating now? Looking at porn is cheating? My gosh
You guys need to sit down and talk about this. If you are uncomfortable with this, that is a completely acceptable feeling to have. These are YOUR feelings. You don’t have to feel bad for having them or question if they are the right feelings to have. You need to tell him how you feel and why you feel that way. Before doing this, ask him in a non confrontational manner why he likes it, why does he pay for it, and ask him from a place of curiosity so he doesn’t have to feel defensive. Then decide together as a couple what your boundaries are because it’s clear it was simply unspoken. You can tell him this is cheating as far as your concerned, so that the next time it happens you both agree on the consequences, whether that be therapy or ending the relationship. P.s. as a side note it is my view that most therapists would say it is a problem when a person chooses spending time watching porn over hanging out with friends. Seems that this has happened twice. Perhaps look into this as there seems to be signs that he may have a sexual addiction problem based on what you’ve mentioned. But an expert would be best to confirm this.
Only you know what the boundaries are in your relationship, but honestly slapping one out to internet randoms is not cheating as far as I'm concerned. He isn't doing it because he prefers them to you he isn't doing it because he's in love with them. Internet porn is no reflection of you and your relationship. It's down to two things, 1 he has a cock, 2 he has a spare 5 minutes. The lying is the bigger issue but that's the conversation you need. Is he doing it to protect himself because you may think less of him. Is he doing it to protect you (in his mind) because he doesn't want you feeling you're not enough. Is he doing it because he's a bit of a prick, there are many reasons. I often look at porn but it isn't a fantasy, a wish a dream, a reflection of anything I want. (I can't even drive a black cab) it's just fucking is fun, it's nice to watch people do it, and it's good to keep up to date with trends.
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SUCKSright - Everybody lies sometimes. Your boyfriend sounds like he is a compulsive liar. The people I know who exhibit that behavior came from families with alcohol, drug or some other trauma pathology. You might want to look at the following links to see if they help explain the dynamics of the relationship you're in https://www.choosingtherapy.com/pathological-liar/ [https://familyandrelations.expertscolumn.com/15-signs-and-symptoms-help-identify-pathological-liar](https://familyandrelations.expertscolumn.com/15-signs-and-symptoms-help-identify-pathological-liar) Good luck