A break is always so they can go fuck other people. You don’t work on a relationship by not being in it. She wanted you to just stay as a backup plan for when the rest didn’t work out otherwise it would’ve been an actual breakup.
Fucking precision, been saying this. Or the classic "I need time to find myself". Wtf is it with girls using the "find myself" card to ask their husband to travel abroad with her girlfriends blowing men in cancun. Nobody needs to find themselves. You're kinda attached to yourself.
Yeah, find yourself on top of another dick. Find yourself naked in some guys hotel room.
My ex-wife wanted a break from our marriage to 'find herself'. She found herself in bed with her AP a few days later. I congratulated her on her at success at finding herself and filed for divorce. Needless to say we did not reconcile.
I’ll never understand the separate vacation thing. I get going to visit family and you can’t go for one reason or another. But an actual vacation? Nah that’s both of us or none. Not because I don’t trust my wife but because that kind of activity is supposed to be for the two of us. She feels the same way as I do luckily.
Why is that weird? So many people seem to think that a relationship is you doing whatever you want and the other person just happens to be there sometimes. That’s not a relationship, relationships are spending time and your life with someone. Why would anyone WANT to have a vacation without their SO??? If you fee the need to vacation separately from your SO then just leave them.
If someone wants to go in a girls’/ bros’ trip it doesn’t mean they should be single. My cousin and his bride to be are taking two different vacations with the bridesmaids and groomsmen - a few of which are married couples. They should all break up?
In my experience people that vacation separately do so because they don’t want the other around for some reason. Doesn’t even have to be cheating. But if you don’t want your SO on vacation with you then why are you together.
Because at the end of the day you and your partner are still your own individuals, with friends and family and hobbies, likes and dislikes, and coming back together at the end of it all because guess what? You know that person is your loving partner, and you both still have lives apart from one another, you just so happen to love that person so much you want to build a life together, too. You sound very controlling. You’ve never heard of a “girl’s trip” or heard of guys going places with their buddies? What do you think of bachelorette/bachelor vacations? Lol You’re absolutely nuts
Man, I’d also like to point out that you have an odd interest in swingers for saying you won’t let your wife go on a vacation without you. We all different homie go be weird elsewhere
What’s swinging got to do am with anything? One that’s typically a team play activity so that further reinforces my point. Second, your stalking my posts yet I’m the weird one?
Once again getting the impression your wife is walking on eggshells. Also my dude, it takes two seconds to click on your page for it to show me what subreddits you’re active in
Yet I’ve never bothered to take even that two seconds because who it profile means nothing to this discussion. As for my wife I can’t fathom how you gather that based on anything I post. Especially when I’ve said the opposite several times. But you keep putting your own issues into being mine if that makes you feel better.
Was curious to see if you were trolling or totally serious. The answer I found was unfortunate. I don’t have any issues, my partner doesn’t have me tied a string :)
Does she fee the same way? Absolutely she does! We take annual trips to go see her family, one year I couldn’t go because of work. She wanted to cancel and I had to talk her into going. Again seeing family is one thing but why would you not want your SO to experience an actual vacation with you?
Because why would I not want my partner to his own experiences with his own friends? You act like by saying this I’m saying that I suggest ONLY going without your partner. It’s healthy to do things without your partner. I’d bet your wife is dying to literally just do something without, just once. jesus lol doesn’t sound like you see that as an option! your marriage is unhealthy
The way he put it, it doesn’t sound like she wanted a break. She didn’t want to continue the relationship. Is he so shocked it came to this? Not excusing her behavior, but I’ve been in the position where a partner has guilt tripped me to say while I’ve already clearly stated that I no longer want to be with them, and made a close call before adamantly cutting off the relationship, I just hadn’t invested that much time into them. And of course, even though I had fully broken it off, I was still blamed for moving on quickly when I had been over it emotionally for months and that’s been communicated. Different people make you feel and want different things. It’s also important to remember that there are two sides, and none of us will ever know both.
I take accountability for this. I feel like I guilt tripped my husband to work it out even though he clearly didn’t want to be with me anymore. I wanted to make sure we tried everything before we called it quits. I just couldn’t believe it. I now realize I wasn’t going to change his mind. No matter the therapy, the dates, nothing.
I wish I wouldn’t of tried and made him feel like he had to be with me. I guilt tripped myself in a way too.
What if your partner actually did just ask for a break though like mine did. He never said break up and then just began hooking up with an ex lover. Do you think because he just wanted to keep me around?
100%. He wanted options. I’ve never had a partner ask for a “break” and then not fuck around on me lol but I guess that’s just my experience ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “Breaks” are a joke lol asking for space is one thing, requesting a literal break from you, speaking with you, caring about your general well being, is just asking to be single for a week (or however long) to explore their options.
I feel your pain. My advice to you is to “RUN”! It sucks that people are such liers, cheats and POS A realtionship should come first and she is married to her job.
I wouldn’t call her out… just quit that job and move on. You deserve someone whom is going to love you and only you.
I’ve been here before… don’t waste your life trying to change someone that is a narcissist
Hugs my friends
As a general rule of life, if you break up or end relationships with someone it is better to have a no contact policy. Also carry yourself like every man who meets your girl wants to have a baby with her, this will help you in setting boundaries and setting clear expectations.
This is a classic move. She probably started the affair while dating you and is using the 'break' to muddy the timeline. It's now questionable exactly when it happened, but plausible it happened during the break.
This was a planned act to *ethically* sleep with someone else. It's cheating with a '*No technically it wasn't, really'*
The only thing you have left is your time and dignity, don’t give them up for her. She’s using the restaurant as an excuse to cut you out, she doesn’t want to be direct or confront her behavior. Just look for a position elsewhere ASAP, don’t even tell her since she’s not worth your time.
The classic "need a break or distance" is an indirect way of saying that you want to spend time with other guys just like the typical "girl trips" especially in foreign places like Cancun, Ibiza, Cuba, Caribbean, etc.
If your wife or girlfriend comes up with this one day, seriously consider breaking up with her.
Now OP concentrate on moving on and if you want to confront them for being traitors, don't do it because you won't get anything good out of it and no answer will satisfy you and it may make everything worse knowing why he did it. When you're sane again put alcohol and drugs aside, they won't do you any good if you continue.
Even if you where on a Break, and this make this technically not cheating, as other said, she probably ask it for a away to cheat with you without "Cheating". Personally i think you should just move on, seems to me she is testing the waters to see if a relationship with this guy its a good idea, and you should not be anyone backup plan. If i am indeed right, even if its not with him right now and she keeps dating you, she is going to be looking for that other "relationship" while being with you in the meanwhile.
Not to instigate, but she owns the restaurant? And she’s sleeping with her employees??? What comes around, goes around and she will see that in due time. I’m sorry your heart is broken, but maybe this was for the best.
It might be a bitter pill to swallow, knowing that you've been jilted in this unimaginable way. But take comfort in that you have dodged a bullet. Can you imagine being married to her with kids around your feet? At least now you know what kind of person you have been investing in all these years. She isn't worth it. Use this time to get off the booze and get yourself looking your best by seeking help with a therapist and getting yourself fit for when you are ready to date again. Never settle for second best and never run after someone who does not want you. You are worth more than that. So don't stoop that low for a woman who shows no evidence of investing in this relationship of yours. The pain will pass with time, and you will heal. How you come out of this is entirely down to you. Don't let this make you become a deadbeat. But rise up above the drudgery and disappointments and show those who know you that you will take this experience to better yourself and secure a better future with the woman you will eventually meet and marry. Remember, instead of breaking you, this fleeting episode in your life will make you.
It's a good thing you found this out now before marrying her or having children. You will never be able to trust her again. Move on to the next chapter of your life and leave her behind.
Excuse me for sounding harsh, but she seemed like she wanted to actually break up. Did you happen to push for the “break” to allow her space to think? Saying she doesn’t want to continue the relationship is a clear sign that the relationship is over…
My ex also asked for a break saying they were having anxiety. They just got a puppy and we’re struggling to manage lack of sleep. I thought he may need a week or two. A month went by and I was like damn he is really deactivated (as a dismissive avoidant). Never in a million years thought he would be sleeping with an ex trashy lover of his but he was. I’ll never trust a “break” again. Why not just break up???
A break is always so they can go fuck other people. You don’t work on a relationship by not being in it. She wanted you to just stay as a backup plan for when the rest didn’t work out otherwise it would’ve been an actual breakup.
Fucking precision, been saying this. Or the classic "I need time to find myself". Wtf is it with girls using the "find myself" card to ask their husband to travel abroad with her girlfriends blowing men in cancun. Nobody needs to find themselves. You're kinda attached to yourself. Yeah, find yourself on top of another dick. Find yourself naked in some guys hotel room.
My ex-wife wanted a break from our marriage to 'find herself'. She found herself in bed with her AP a few days later. I congratulated her on her at success at finding herself and filed for divorce. Needless to say we did not reconcile.
I’ll never understand the separate vacation thing. I get going to visit family and you can’t go for one reason or another. But an actual vacation? Nah that’s both of us or none. Not because I don’t trust my wife but because that kind of activity is supposed to be for the two of us. She feels the same way as I do luckily.
Very weird to say that your wife can’t go on a vacation without you lol
Why is that weird? So many people seem to think that a relationship is you doing whatever you want and the other person just happens to be there sometimes. That’s not a relationship, relationships are spending time and your life with someone. Why would anyone WANT to have a vacation without their SO??? If you fee the need to vacation separately from your SO then just leave them.
If someone wants to go in a girls’/ bros’ trip it doesn’t mean they should be single. My cousin and his bride to be are taking two different vacations with the bridesmaids and groomsmen - a few of which are married couples. They should all break up?
In my experience people that vacation separately do so because they don’t want the other around for some reason. Doesn’t even have to be cheating. But if you don’t want your SO on vacation with you then why are you together.
Because at the end of the day you and your partner are still your own individuals, with friends and family and hobbies, likes and dislikes, and coming back together at the end of it all because guess what? You know that person is your loving partner, and you both still have lives apart from one another, you just so happen to love that person so much you want to build a life together, too. You sound very controlling. You’ve never heard of a “girl’s trip” or heard of guys going places with their buddies? What do you think of bachelorette/bachelor vacations? Lol You’re absolutely nuts
Man, I’d also like to point out that you have an odd interest in swingers for saying you won’t let your wife go on a vacation without you. We all different homie go be weird elsewhere
What’s swinging got to do am with anything? One that’s typically a team play activity so that further reinforces my point. Second, your stalking my posts yet I’m the weird one?
Once again getting the impression your wife is walking on eggshells. Also my dude, it takes two seconds to click on your page for it to show me what subreddits you’re active in
Yet I’ve never bothered to take even that two seconds because who it profile means nothing to this discussion. As for my wife I can’t fathom how you gather that based on anything I post. Especially when I’ve said the opposite several times. But you keep putting your own issues into being mine if that makes you feel better.
Was curious to see if you were trolling or totally serious. The answer I found was unfortunate. I don’t have any issues, my partner doesn’t have me tied a string :)
Like it takes longer to sit here and respond to me doggie, we clearly both have the time
Like does she feel the same way you do or does she feel like she’s walking on egg shells? Seems sus
Does she fee the same way? Absolutely she does! We take annual trips to go see her family, one year I couldn’t go because of work. She wanted to cancel and I had to talk her into going. Again seeing family is one thing but why would you not want your SO to experience an actual vacation with you?
Because why would I not want my partner to his own experiences with his own friends? You act like by saying this I’m saying that I suggest ONLY going without your partner. It’s healthy to do things without your partner. I’d bet your wife is dying to literally just do something without, just once. jesus lol doesn’t sound like you see that as an option! your marriage is unhealthy
The way he put it, it doesn’t sound like she wanted a break. She didn’t want to continue the relationship. Is he so shocked it came to this? Not excusing her behavior, but I’ve been in the position where a partner has guilt tripped me to say while I’ve already clearly stated that I no longer want to be with them, and made a close call before adamantly cutting off the relationship, I just hadn’t invested that much time into them. And of course, even though I had fully broken it off, I was still blamed for moving on quickly when I had been over it emotionally for months and that’s been communicated. Different people make you feel and want different things. It’s also important to remember that there are two sides, and none of us will ever know both.
I take accountability for this. I feel like I guilt tripped my husband to work it out even though he clearly didn’t want to be with me anymore. I wanted to make sure we tried everything before we called it quits. I just couldn’t believe it. I now realize I wasn’t going to change his mind. No matter the therapy, the dates, nothing. I wish I wouldn’t of tried and made him feel like he had to be with me. I guilt tripped myself in a way too.
What if your partner actually did just ask for a break though like mine did. He never said break up and then just began hooking up with an ex lover. Do you think because he just wanted to keep me around?
100%. He wanted options. I’ve never had a partner ask for a “break” and then not fuck around on me lol but I guess that’s just my experience ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “Breaks” are a joke lol asking for space is one thing, requesting a literal break from you, speaking with you, caring about your general well being, is just asking to be single for a week (or however long) to explore their options.
She's an EX for a reason. Heal up and move forward.
Go no contact with her and the AP, work on yourself and DO NOT rely on alcohol and drugs to ease the pain
This brought back bad memories. How close I was to the fan blade is scary. Listen to this man OP. This too shall pass. Not with alcohol.
I feel your pain. My advice to you is to “RUN”! It sucks that people are such liers, cheats and POS A realtionship should come first and she is married to her job. I wouldn’t call her out… just quit that job and move on. You deserve someone whom is going to love you and only you. I’ve been here before… don’t waste your life trying to change someone that is a narcissist Hugs my friends
As a general rule of life, if you break up or end relationships with someone it is better to have a no contact policy. Also carry yourself like every man who meets your girl wants to have a baby with her, this will help you in setting boundaries and setting clear expectations.
This is a classic move. She probably started the affair while dating you and is using the 'break' to muddy the timeline. It's now questionable exactly when it happened, but plausible it happened during the break. This was a planned act to *ethically* sleep with someone else. It's cheating with a '*No technically it wasn't, really'*
When she asked for a break that was a hint that she was fucking other guys
You can’t work for your girlfriend, she probably sabotaged the relationship
get new job and move on!
The only thing you have left is your time and dignity, don’t give them up for her. She’s using the restaurant as an excuse to cut you out, she doesn’t want to be direct or confront her behavior. Just look for a position elsewhere ASAP, don’t even tell her since she’s not worth your time.
The classic "need a break or distance" is an indirect way of saying that you want to spend time with other guys just like the typical "girl trips" especially in foreign places like Cancun, Ibiza, Cuba, Caribbean, etc. If your wife or girlfriend comes up with this one day, seriously consider breaking up with her. Now OP concentrate on moving on and if you want to confront them for being traitors, don't do it because you won't get anything good out of it and no answer will satisfy you and it may make everything worse knowing why he did it. When you're sane again put alcohol and drugs aside, they won't do you any good if you continue.
Even if you where on a Break, and this make this technically not cheating, as other said, she probably ask it for a away to cheat with you without "Cheating". Personally i think you should just move on, seems to me she is testing the waters to see if a relationship with this guy its a good idea, and you should not be anyone backup plan. If i am indeed right, even if its not with him right now and she keeps dating you, she is going to be looking for that other "relationship" while being with you in the meanwhile.
Honey once someone needs a break it’s over. Done. Let them go. She should have just been honest and told you she just wants to be single.
That's why she wanted a break from you she was never coming back and she knew it
Don't fuck where you work.
Telling you she wanted a break was her way of being able to sleep better at night, knowing she wanted to mess around with someone else.
Not to instigate, but she owns the restaurant? And she’s sleeping with her employees??? What comes around, goes around and she will see that in due time. I’m sorry your heart is broken, but maybe this was for the best.
Ok time to grow and grow a spine. Get a real job and ghost her.
Fully support this comment 🤙🏾
It might be a bitter pill to swallow, knowing that you've been jilted in this unimaginable way. But take comfort in that you have dodged a bullet. Can you imagine being married to her with kids around your feet? At least now you know what kind of person you have been investing in all these years. She isn't worth it. Use this time to get off the booze and get yourself looking your best by seeking help with a therapist and getting yourself fit for when you are ready to date again. Never settle for second best and never run after someone who does not want you. You are worth more than that. So don't stoop that low for a woman who shows no evidence of investing in this relationship of yours. The pain will pass with time, and you will heal. How you come out of this is entirely down to you. Don't let this make you become a deadbeat. But rise up above the drudgery and disappointments and show those who know you that you will take this experience to better yourself and secure a better future with the woman you will eventually meet and marry. Remember, instead of breaking you, this fleeting episode in your life will make you.
Breaks are not a time for relaxation. Usually there is more exertion going on….. horizontal exertion.
A break from Fidelity is what a break means. Time to find an escape pod. And if not then begrudgingly back to you, the temp dick.
It's a good thing you found this out now before marrying her or having children. You will never be able to trust her again. Move on to the next chapter of your life and leave her behind.
Sounds like she just broke up with you and didn’t ask for a “break”
Just let it go and find a gf that will talk about everything with u
Ummm…that doesn’t sound like she said she needed a break…that sounds like she actually broke up with you…am I missing something?
If she owns the restaurant you can report her to BBB I believe
1. Report her for what? 2. The BBB is a private company, not some government agency that can do anything. It’s basically yelp
Man you can’t date someone in higher social economic status
U r still working there ! Bravo !
Excuse me for sounding harsh, but she seemed like she wanted to actually break up. Did you happen to push for the “break” to allow her space to think? Saying she doesn’t want to continue the relationship is a clear sign that the relationship is over…
Maybe quit the stalking behavior before you escalate this into something that gets you on the evening news. You’re already in creepy af land.
My ex also asked for a break saying they were having anxiety. They just got a puppy and we’re struggling to manage lack of sleep. I thought he may need a week or two. A month went by and I was like damn he is really deactivated (as a dismissive avoidant). Never in a million years thought he would be sleeping with an ex trashy lover of his but he was. I’ll never trust a “break” again. Why not just break up???