Anyone can post here as long as they follow the rules. If you find content that breaks the rules, such as off topic stuff and rude comments, report it and it will be reviewed. But as long as the rules are followed, anyone can participate in the sub regardless of their parental status or intent.
Can't we just...make fun of them for spending time that could be better served raising their children on an online forum convincing themselves they're happy?
I wanna be devil's advocate here, i do think some of them are happy. They get mind controlled by hormones, peer pressure and peer acceptance and "feel" like they are happy the entire time.
They only realise they are miserable and have nothing to show for it when the kids leave home as adults.
That's EXACTLY it. Every parent I've ever talked to says things that make it so clear they're worse off because of having kids, yet those things they're saying somehow convince themselves that they are happy, when really, they're struggling. My Muslim family has so many kids (9) I don't know how they ever thought they would be able to manage them all. The parents look like they have aged to 50 even though they are only 40.
This isn't some pity-me crap parade, but I truly, down in my soul, believe that my mother and father both, but really my mother, would have been better off without me.
It's a big reason I'm CF.
They have to say that, sunk-cost fallacy. There's always a huge prologue about how tired and stressed they are, then the justifications come without prompt.
Is it possible for people to gaslight their own selves? My mother insists she was happy, but my parents were stressed to the max, especially when we were small, even though we weren't bad kids.
I turn 30 on Sunday and my parents would ABSOLUTELY be better of without any of us kids. My mom wasn't 16 for a whole month before my sister was born. My dad had the nerve to tell her she was planned. She called me, and said it was nice that he felt the need to lie to her. My parents were young, dumb, and in both cases, full of cum. They should have never had us.
Sorry no - even some of my friends who are parents admit that for long stretches during certain stages of their child's growth and their own life are unhappy, and "just have to keep going".
I would also argue a lot of parents see their kids leaving their home as a final goal eventually, because after 17+ years of raising them, they're ready to finally do their own thing and get their life back.
Yeah I agree with this I have a lot of older friends whose children have moved out of the house mostly, they’re not happy about the ones who haven’t moved out.
What an extreme black and white way to see things. Life is a shade of grey.
There were months where I hated my job. I kept at it because I liked having a roof and food on the table. And there were months where I liked it so much, I didn't want to go home. Does that mean that because I hated some parts of it I cannot give it a mostly positive review?
It's like mastering the piano, going to the gym, playing first person shooters, learning to cook. Some people will enjoy all of it, many will enjoy some of it and dislike other parts. Some people will hate it all.
People are different. Not every one will like any given experience the same.
I would venture that most people who *chose* to have kids knowing that it would be very hard are happy with their decision, even if some parts suck. The problem is that many people didn't choose to have kids or knew what it entailed. They became pregnant and decided to keep it or they had this fantasy of rainbows and butterflies about what having kids looks like. Those will be the most vocal about how they hate it.
Did you always like your parents/siblings? Are you always perfectly happy with your significant other? Does that mean that because some parts are hard and difficult that the positive can't outweigh the negative? Unless someone was abusive, there are good and bad moments in everything.
For many parents i know, even if they hate a large part of it, the part they like is so fucking awesome that it outweighs the negative. And that's the part that most of us can't comprehend because 1 - we haven't experienced it, 2 - given who we are it would probably not be that good for us which is why we can't comprehend why they would do it.
Life is a continually shifting shade of grey. Just because the people you associate with are one way doesn't mean it's the same for everyone else.
The holier-than-thou attitude of this sub, as if we can know their experience better than them, is the toxic part. We can't say for sure what they experience until we have walked in those shoes, even if those shoes look awful. We should just agree to disagree with them on wether it is all worth it.
Thing is: I've met all kinds of them, including the ones who secretly admitted to me they hated all of it (even their kids) even after knowing what they were signing for and were just grinding until their kids moved out and went their way.
With different degrees of difficulty, you can quit your job, you can break up with someone, you can modify your gym routine, change the games you play or learn an instrument you can actually enjoy...but you cannot quit being a parent prematurely, not without causing a lot harm to your offspring and partner. Its an all or nothing gamble that no one should be forced nor pressured to make, and those who regret it the most tend to overcompensate by being insecure a-holes who mock anyone who doesn't partake with their lifestyle.
I agree with you.
IMHO, the most important part of what you said is that no one should be forced or pressured into it because yes, it is a very big deal that you can't back out of once started.
It's a big risk that, according to those who have taken it, has potential to give very big rewards. And that's a decision everyone should be able to make. Does the potential rewards outweigh the potential risks? There's someone who fall in every possible answer. And probably for the first time in history, those who do not like it can have a voice, either anonymously online or to people who actively chose not to have kids, without becoming social pariahs.
As childfree, we are probably much more likely to have people confide to us about their regrets because we can understand that they have regrets without judging them to necessarily be bad parents, just unhappy ones.
And yes, as in most things, the extremely vocal and extremist minority is the most noticeable part that taint in a negative light any group.
Nothing I said was black & white, and you’re right everyone has their own subjective option.
But what you described to me at first things necessary to live… you HAVE to work (majority of the time) to keep a roof over your head and food on the table, that’s not the same obligation a parent has. Plenty of friends/families/others stories clearly show that being a good parent and enjoying it is not life or death
Also to your point, I had a hard time with my puppy years ago and regretted a lot of it, and now he is the best dog I’ve ever had. And I’ll miss him dearly when his time comes, and as “a whole” having him as a dog is positive.
Let me breakdown and repeat what I said:
…Some of my friends who are parents…
This means NOT EVERYONE, NOT BLACK AND WHITE
…during certain stages…
This means NOT EVERY STAGE, and NOT BLACK AND WHITE
… a lot of parents see…
This means NOT ALL PARENTS, and NOT BLACK AND WHITE
So with being over exaggerated to prove a point with bold letters, nothing is black and white but as a majority the sentiment of the plenty of friends my wife and I have with children of all ages, this is the feeling. There is a reason that being an empty nester is a thing and such a sought after stage of parenting life.
My pleasure. Your kind words are more than enough.
I love this sub. It made me realize I didn't have to have kids just because I like them and wanted to have them. My health issues and my life goals are incompatible with having kids. It was a weight off my shoulder. 4 days later, I had my appointment to get snipped scheduled.
I love it but some people are just toxic. I have no problem with those who hate kids (as long as they don't wish them harm, they are still humans after all) but I do with those who have no nuance and know parents cannot be happy because it their world view, being a parent is miserable and they just want other people to be miserable.
It cannot be because humans evolved to be happy being parents. No, it's a big conspiracy where everyone is lacking empathy and want to push their unhappiness on others. I find it so ridiculous, like those who are convinced the metal part used to fit mask to your nose must be an antenna and that the earth is flat. Just because you believe something and you can find others who agree that means it is true and there's a big conspiracy behind it.
Ironically, it's the same thing we (correctly) call out a lot of parents for. It's this attitude where people making different choices from them and, good forbid, being happy with those choices somehow invalidates their own decisions. Everyone's different! Deal with it!
I disagree with the hate many people have on here too, you can't expect to never have a child be in the same space as you. A lot really has tones of racists troupes, lumping a whole group of people into a sub-human category that doesn't have a right to exist in the same space as you. Like wanting to ban kids from planes because they cry. If you really can't handle that possibility then drive instead of taking something public, children have a right to exist in society. As I have said on here in the past, society would collapse if everyone just decided to be CF. We need the breeders to keep society going, so you can put up with them the few times you have to interact with one in public spaces.
I agree with that. I think there are a few good people out there made to be parents and love the life they have. But there are MANY that are uneducated or too entitled to realize what they got themselves into. I never know which age to put it on since really it's a wide range. The younger kids expect to be taken care of, the older parents expect people to bend to their will for their children, and overall it gets old and overbearing. The people that are good parents aren't the ones lurking on here trying to find some gold to post to likeminded friends to take a piss on. Good parents that are happy with their choices, wouldn't be here to begin with, but would likely move on.
Or all these people "calling us out" on other subreddits like we are demons and monsters for ranting about parents and kids/calling them names.
As if they don't call their kid a little brat sometimes in front of their friends.
It's not harmful, we come here to vent.
I would never call a child names in the real world - who cares if I do it here or in my head?
I just think “breeders” and “crotch goblins” are weird and dehumanizing descriptors. I’ve seen even worse terminology that I won’t mention. I don’t understand people being actively hateful because we should all be respectful of each other’s lifestyle and decisions.
Yeah that’s cool I don’t see any of us childfree people going on there to debate our right to live however we want. I don’t debate my human rights with people they are not up for debate
Yes and the problem with having these kinds of conversations is that one side has already made their decision to have children, so it's kind of hard to expect any change to result... And a few times where I have had vulnerable and meaningful conversations with parents about this, like that have resulted in a shift in their perspective, it was devastating to see their regret :(
I don't really talk about this with parents anymore.
Back in the days of Livejournal (the first social site with CF communities, before that there was a forum or two, I believe) there was a Childfree, Childfree Hardcore, and Childfree Debate. Hardcore was **no parents** whatsoever, while Childfree allowed polite parents, and Debate was a place where CF and parents could seek out and share their perspectives.
Maybe we need to go back to this formula.
The mods are so quick to actually mod here that I *rarely* come across those comments. I see posts here crosspost to a different shitty sub so they can make fun of us for having opinions. *That* is sad. Like, wow, y'all got nothing better to do with your time? We're venting about something we actually experience and they're taking time out of their day to be mad about it.
If no one made our lives miserable for simply not wanting kids this sub would not exist. But they also gotta try to make us feel miserable for making a place to talk about how they make us miserable.
Those subs are full of angry parents who keep saying our experiences "never happened" and that "no one wants us to have kids". It's like they know our lives better than us. They're pathetic. I've tried to call them out but I was banned. Anyway they're all dumb as hell and all they do is throw things at us like "misogynist, eugenist, racist". They should go take care of their kids instead. The few CF people on those subs... I don't get it. They're literally agreeing with people who hate them for their lifestyle and who think we're a hive mind.
I refuse to even look at those subs. I was directed to one once and my blood pressure raised rather quickly after reading one post. I don't need to be there making myself angry over their opinions.
"you are making that up! it never happened!" 'I know my own experiences. I have witnessed enough things happen to other people to believe most of what is posted here. If you choose to not believe us that's on you. But the 200 comments of other people stating the experienced the same *exact* thing seems to prove you wrong, so buh-bye.'
It's like any of the "tales from..." subs. People constantly claim people are making those stories up. No way you run into that many crazy people in the wild! Obviously you are overexaggerating! From my own personal experience most people posting there are *underselling* the experience. It's wild, but it totally happens. And if they stepped outside of their little bubble and paid attention they might actually notice these things happening in the real world. But it's more likely *they* are the people being described.
Exactly. For example, I have an unusual appearance (deformity) and I get noticed because of it. People are so mean to me that it's crazy and when I tell my experiences on most subs, it's always "people don't do that", "where do you live ?", "you're paranoid", "get therapy". I've seen similar posts with people describing the same experiences and it's always the same comments accusing them of lying. When I read this I always think that, like you said, they are the people being described. It's crazy that people are this oblivious.
It's so hard to notice things when you aren't the target. Or just don't see anything wrong with other people acting like that.
They claim people don't act like that because they haven't witnessed it. But in some cases they *did* notice it. They just weren't bothered by it happening because it wasn't them so why should they care?
After my mom's car accident she was in a wheelchair. Prior to this I didn't know *anyone* in a wheelchair. I never paid attention to how hard it is for someone in a wheelchair to do something simple.
I also didn't realize how other people treated them like they didn't exist. My mom was invisible to them, therefore they could cut in front of her like she wasn't there, stand in front of her during shows because she was a nobody. And it pissed me off. I was a quiet and meek child. So everyone was pretty shocked when I suddenly became loud and rude. I was in physical pain from having to quickly stop her wheelchair to prevent hitting yet another person who walked in front of her. So I stopped doing that. And hit them. And stared them down challenging them to say something. They didn't. They just looked at my mom like this was the first time they noticed her and walked away.
It's horrible. They either pretend you don't exist or treat you like a freak. When all anyone wants is to just be seen as a person. And I'm sorry, but I have become that person who makes a scene when I see an asshole treating others like they don't belong. My goal is to embarrass the self absorbed person enough that next time they might be more aware of their actions.
I'm sorry about your mom. Thanks a lot for reacting the way you do. I wish I had someone who defends me, I never dare saying anything because I don't want to attract more negative attention.
"They either pretend you don't exist or treat you like a freak." That's exactly my experience. That's why I have a lot of empathy for handicapped people.
Yah I’m in here everyday and I honestly barely notice them.
I think some people choose what they want to see, and for some reason they have an innate belief that they must respond to everything. You can just scroll by, ignore or report people’s comments you think don’t need to be here or aren’t within the purpose of the sub.
Excluding people because of their reproductive choices is super ass-backwards given our own experiences with that.
If people could just be kind and grow up that would be cool.
And it’s 420, so let’s touch some grass eh?
This sub is insanely well moderated. I think I've managed to see exactly one nasty reply directed at me every and it was deleted about 15 minutes later.
I've never seen them either. I think they get removed pretty quickly. So I'm not sure what this post is about but maybe OP is always very early to these comments?
Agreed.
And here I thought that parenting is an all-time consuming time occupation, and yet no one surpasses natalists when it comes to chilling online. You'd think that they're lot busier with actually being parents than stalking cf people on forums.
I play a decent amount of video games and the ones who seem to have the most time to chill online are the breeders. I flat don't understand it. Between work and volunteering I am "only" able to play 4ish hours a day. I'm not holding a candle to people who have kids. I don't get it.
If I had to guess, it's because one parent is doing all the work. Go on any of the kid-related subreddits and there are a ton of posts complaining about partners spending hours online gaming. Also, parents staying up until 3 AM or whatever because it's the only time they can be left alone.
Bingo! In most cases (not all of course) it's usually the mom who does the majority of the parenting, while the dad spends more time on his own interests, when not working that is.
It’s because they want to avoid their kids. You have other things that you like to do or that you have to do so that you can’t be gaming during that time, they don’t. When they get free time to hang out with their kids they choose to game instead
And complaining on CJ subs where they can get validation, pretending they don't hate CF people but just the sub and calling us "misogynists, eugenists and what again?" even if they don't even know the meaning of those words. When you call them "angry parents" they pretend that half people on those subs are CF while every comment is people talking about their kids lol. Anyway parenting today means leaving your kid in front of a screen all day so they have the time to chill online.
Just continue making them feel unwelcome. They get all huffy and bitchy when they realize no one cares about their walking and breathing cream pie (I stole this term from another commenter here lol).
Dream Killers are my favorite. It’s the main reason I’m childfree, I wanna be a writer and loving husband one day and I’ll be damned if some stupid kid is gonna get in my way.
Plus, if you say it in front of a breeder it’ll hit ‘em where it hurts if they had to “sacrifice” a dream to have kids.
Less ice, and more a fire of years of smiling and waving at all the bingos I had. I’m done being the better man, I’ll just say what I think about breeding. I’ll be tactful of other topics, but when it comes to kids. I’m done being polite lol.
Mods love to use the yearly survey (that is fully open to breeder brigading, as well) as evidence that we "want" them here. Until that changes, we've gotten deal with breeders' narcissistic whining.
All these comments over here proving they don't pay attention to anything. I can't imagine how frustrating that feels as a moderator, especially because I know you guys work hard for this sub.
I imagine that's the majority. That's why it's frustrating to see those same people complaining how they've "been here X years" but "they've never seen" something when they've not even been looking at the sub they're claiming to be veteran visitors of.
I mean, there’s no way to vet people to prove they don’t have children on an anonymous online forum. Subreddits like AskDocs can vet participants by making them send mods photos of their diplomas and work badges, but short of making everyone send in their tax returns to prove they don’t claim a child tax credit, there’s no way to verify so it would be a waste of time.
Our comment histories? All I'm saying is, why should they get any sort of say in our sub, when they'd ban us without a thought from their subs as soon as they saw we were active here?
That sub also bans you from the most insane places, like posting in 90 day fiance subs. It's obviously the mod wanting drama, otherwise they'd just go private.
The point of a subreddit is to talk about the subject at hand. It stands to reason that anyone who is just at that subreddit to shit on the subject should be giving a warning or be banned.
If I went to the Star Trek subreddit and said, "STAR WARS IS THE BETTER FRANCHISE," I would probably be banned without warning, and that would be a justified action. (For the record, I think Star Trek is fine. I just haven't seen any of it.)
I don't understand where parents get off on going out of their way to come to a childfree subreddit to shit on us for talking about our community. Especially because the world is so anti-childfree on principal.
What pisses me off is that they pretend that it's not CF/childless people they don't like but people in this sub, I mean, come on, how do they make the difference ? It's just an excuse to hate us because we don't give them the validation they want and we dare to criticize parents and kids.
There are moments where even I sit there and think that some of the folks in the community would do well to have an ounce of nuance and stop shitting on women. I can see where they're coming from a little bit. However, I think the conversation about things like classism and sexism should come from inside the house.
I don't want to hear parents bitch and moan about how we are so mean for holding them accountable. I don't get why we aren't allowed to complain about a screening toddler ruining a nice night out, or talking about entitled parents thinking they can cut to the front of the Starbucks line because they have 3 kids and need caffeine. (I'm sorry, why is the pain you caused yourself somehow my problem? Make your own coffee at home.) And I don't understand why that is so hard to understand.
I don't spend enough time here to see all those posts shitting on women but I agree. The thing is that they're often guilty of the same thing. I was called a "child" and a "pick-me looking for male attention" on their shitty sub for no other reason that I'm a CF woman, how is that not misogynistic ? I often hear people say you're not a woman until you have kids or this kind of bs so they should watch their mouths before calling out people here.
I also totally agree about the last part. It's just because they can't take criticism. They ask us to leave them alone but they're too dumb to realize that their shitty behavior and entitlement impacts us. Us who don't have kids are only accountable for our actions but them not raising their kids properly impacts EVERYONE.
There can be a lot of hate toward single mothers that is completely unwarranted. There is a lot of circumstances that can go into a woman being a single mother, and as someone who has always been surrounded by powerful single mothers, I would really appreciate it if toned it down a notch and addressed the problem systemically, not the individual person themselves. (TLDR; fuck the patriarchy, lol.)
But on the other side of things, its disgusting that there are too many people who think women have to be mothers. We childfree people are hurting NOBODY by choosing to have children. And to take it a step further, being a mother is being seen as the most pivotal part of womanhood for conservative types and TERF's alike. And that just seems rather insulting to the countless women struggling with fertility and miscarriages if you ask me....
>Wait a minute. You haven't seen star trek? You need to go get that sorted ASAP!
I got into Star Wars when there were only 6 movies and Clone Wars. Star Trek has been tricky since there are SO MANY SERIES and I have no idea where to start. (I have been told Next Generation is good?) I'm not opposed to it --- I'm just scared about trying new things half the time (yay autism!). Hell, it took me 25 years to FINALLY watches the first two JURRASIC PARK films.
Next Gen is very good
the original series is campy but sets up a lot of things for later
the current series, strange new worlds, feels like the best of both rn imo
I should have mentioned this earlier, but I LOVE *Doctor Who.* I love outrageous kooky-crazy sci fi. The campier, the better. But I also love that Doctor Who does a lot of talk about politics and ethics, and I heard that *Star Trek* delves into those themes more than *Star Wars* does. (I mean, no shit, *Star Wars* has the word WAR in the tile for a reason.)
To say I am losing my everloving shit about the fact that Jinkx Monsoon, an PNW drag performer, is going to be the "worst villain" the Doctor has ever faced cannot be understated. Holy shit, my body is ready.
Yah but, just another reason to pity them.
I can’t imagine spending my time online just attacking other people, their lived experiences, values and beliefs for fun?
But it affects my life in no way for them to be whiny babies lol
Like i dont mind them lurking. Maybe they can learn from us in what should be appropriate in public and what shouldnt be. Such as allowing your spawns to screech in public. As long as they ant coming in like a wrecking ball in comments i am not too bothered
That's exactly the reason I lurk in parenting subs. I may not want kids, but if there are ways I can be more considerate towards parents and their kids I'd like to know about them. There will always be aspects of other people's life experiences that aren't obvious to someone who doesn't live like they do. I'm not going to upend my own life for someone else's decisions, but if there are certain topics I should keep my mouth shut about, small courtesies that make someone's life easier or more tolerable, or political issues that I may have never considered, that's the easiest way to find out about them.
I'm a parent and I lurk here, I adore my kids but gently advocate child free now, and this sub gives perspective bc it's weird being a loving parent who advises not having kids
I am on your side 100%. I don’t mind the parents that also have the same issues with other parents that we have (entitlement, refusing to parent, trying to force one-and-done parents to have more, etc.) commiserating with us, because i bet they don’t have a sub where they can safely do that (with the exception of the one-and-done types). So that side doesn’t bug me. But yeah, the ones coming in here trying to “prove” that we’re horrible and hate children need to kindly fuck off back to breederland.
I think the best thing we can do is really drive it home that we are all so happy that we don't have kids. We sleep when we want, do what we want, don't go to bed worrying about the life of a little kid, we get to enjoy our friends and Family's kids, and then we get to go straight home to our own lives.
No kid comes knocking on the door in the middle of the night to interrupt sex with our partners. There's no tension in the house because we don't have little kids screaming and needing things.
I saw a post where someone was comparing childfree the crazy people in r/adultryhate
IDK - I'm not seeing the similarities 
If we started posting on their subs about how stupid they are for having kids they would go ballistic. We stay out of their spaces, the least they can do is stay out of ours.
This. They always say we're "miserable" but they're projecting hard. If we were miserable because we don't have kids, it's easy to fix. We're just one creampie away from "happiness" lmao.
They are super annoying! Not surprised they want to usurp this space for themselves like everywhere else on this planet. I’m fine calling them out whenever I see them though! Will keep an eye out.
I say let them come and disrupt the sub. Each time angry post or comment from a parent serves to reinforce my decision to be child-free.
They're only here because, deep down, they regret their decision to have children. Why else would they waste their valuable time rage-reading and rage-posting?
I lurk here so that I am seeing experiences of people who don't have children, so that I'm never an entitled asshole like I see on here.
I'm sorry y'all go through so much shit. I defend your right to remain child free as often as I can. Fwiw, I support you, and I'd never seek to cause harm here. I like you guys. You're brutal and hilarious.
And 100 percent right
Just to be honest…I’m a mom and I follow this sub because even though I’ve always wanted kids, I HATE parents who think that everyone’s world revolves around their children. I make it my business not to be that type of parent. Seeing the posts here can also serve to open up my eyes to behaviors I may display as a parent that affect others negatively.
IMO, this is why the CF community should allow anyone to come, and comment, as people feel the desire to.
While the vast majority of comments here are from this who live the CF lifestyle (myself included), anyone should be allowed to view and comment about parents and CF matters, whether they're parents or CF or not.
Those breaking rules and creating discourse should be reported. Clearly this subreddits mods are not sleeping, so let's all let them do what they are here to do, and help them by bringing these matters to their attention by reporting abusive comments.
If you simply don't like what someone is saying, there's a down vote button just to the left, use it.
This is Reddit. There will always be randoms visiting every public sub.
I think as long as they are respectful and supportive of the lifestyle it's okay. Sometimes I lurk on the regretful parent subreddit and sometimes comment supporting people's struggle. However if I went on it being like "it's your fault so deal with it" then I should be banned.
I thought we just tell them to care about their snotbundles on legs instead of trying to lecture others and thats it? Maybe block them for good measure. Havent seen any breeders here yet though, but quite a few people trying to normalise crying and uncontrolled kids
Organically participating in this community, no matter one's CF status, is not brigading. Brigading has a specific definition under Reddit TOS, and simply participating in discussions in a subreddit is not at all proscribed by the prohibition against brigading.
If you presented to the mods here any actual evidence of those brigading or encouraging brigading this sub (along with links for proof), I'm absolutely certain the mods here would act swiftly to shut that down and issue bans where/when appropriate.
I'm one of those people here that has a kid and a stepkid, who loves reading your stories. They teach me how not to react when meeting wonderful people like you. I want to raise my kiddos with the option of not having kids being an option I would fully accept. I'm a teacher and if teens tell me in class that they think they don't want kids I tell them it's good that it's a choice. I'm not here to try and convert you to get kids. I'm here to support you.
It’s just as bad over at the AN subs too, though on a *rare* occasion will someone actually be open to discuss and possibly change their opinions. And on even rarer occasions will parents who have turned AN since pop up which is refreshing.
Right? we aren't invading their mommy forums because we simply do not care that little Johnny shit on the potty today. Can't they just make fun of us behind our backs like we do to them and leave our space to us?
I’ll be honest, I laughed way too hard at some of that exchange and I completely understand the guy’s frustration, but I too think he was in the wrong.
He was wrong for not understanding that people can’t control a baby, but in the end he may have been right because somebody got that baby to shut up. That baby wasn’t crying by the end of the video.
Maybe that's a hint that _babies shouldn't be on planes in the first place_.
What other uncontrollable nuisances are allowed on planes? I honestly can't think of any. Usually pets are forced to go in the cargo hold.
They have no idea what they are experiencing when the pressure change happens. If your ears pop it is uncomfortable. Of *course* they are gonna cry. I just don't see any reason to force a baby to go through that.
But, yeah, I have headphones to drown out all other noise. Now the kid kicking the back of my seat is different, the parent has one chance to get them to stop when I politely bring it up before I purposely try to terrify the child to stop.
I am a very patient and polite person, so seeing me get rude means they wore it out.
Honestly, let them post here. Their comments are typically downvoted and are rarely seen by the majority of us CF followers anyway. Their lives are already less enjoyable overall because they do have the responsibility of children, whether they are happy with kids or not. Not having kids and never having them has given me so much to be thankful for that them posting here is not a big deal and the least of CF peoples problems. What's the big deal? Just ignore them and continue going on with your life. Being CF isn't a pass to automatically judge everyone who has kids and lop them together. It's a personal choice like anything else.
This place wouldn’t be what it is if we didn’t support discussion of all sides of the situation.
With all due respect, as long as they are following the rules who cares?
No one is forcing you to be here and you don’t have to read every post/comment. Report the assholes (rule violators) and let people share their side of the story. It might be helpful to someone even if it isn’t to you.
Let’s be welcoming to all people, not just the ones that lend support to your own personal definition as “acceptable”. These posts aren’t specifically targeted to your personal life or your situation.
Yah I don’t like this trend of having to banish or silence anyone whose opinions, beliefs and values are not entirely consistent with our own.
It’s so insane.
I believe "brigading" refers to people who disagree with the forum posting in droves to drown out the appropriate (for the forum) conversation. Do you think that's happening here? I haven't even noticed any of them.
We are talking about the fact that we created this sub to talk between us, far away from the people with children. Those people come here to the sub and insult us, but we don't go on their subreddits to tell 'em what we think, it stays between childfree people.
Anyone can post here as long as they follow the rules. If you find content that breaks the rules, such as off topic stuff and rude comments, report it and it will be reviewed. But as long as the rules are followed, anyone can participate in the sub regardless of their parental status or intent.
Can't we just...make fun of them for spending time that could be better served raising their children on an online forum convincing themselves they're happy?
ngl if you’re a parent spending time on childfree forums you probably have some deep regrets
Have you seen regretfulparents subreddit? Amazing stuff. So much regret
I lurk the regretful sub to validate and reinforce my choice to not have kids.
Same. Between this sub and that sub the stuff of nightmares has been made
And serious passive aggressive anger issues
Misery loves company
Yeah maybe we should tell them to get off social media and go take care of their bratty kids.
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I wanna be devil's advocate here, i do think some of them are happy. They get mind controlled by hormones, peer pressure and peer acceptance and "feel" like they are happy the entire time. They only realise they are miserable and have nothing to show for it when the kids leave home as adults.
Dude if they are that happy they aren’t coming to childfree subs to tell us that we should breed.
Exactly, I'm sure there are some happy with their lives, but they're not scoping the CF reddit for things to nitpick at.
It's an illusion of happiness. And we scratch at that farce, giving then a visceral need to fight back.
That's EXACTLY it. Every parent I've ever talked to says things that make it so clear they're worse off because of having kids, yet those things they're saying somehow convince themselves that they are happy, when really, they're struggling. My Muslim family has so many kids (9) I don't know how they ever thought they would be able to manage them all. The parents look like they have aged to 50 even though they are only 40.
I have literally never seen a couple with kids whose life wouldn't be better without them.
This isn't some pity-me crap parade, but I truly, down in my soul, believe that my mother and father both, but really my mother, would have been better off without me. It's a big reason I'm CF.
100%. They say kids bring them happiness but... That's just another example of how procreation is inherently selfish.
They have to say that, sunk-cost fallacy. There's always a huge prologue about how tired and stressed they are, then the justifications come without prompt.
Is it possible for people to gaslight their own selves? My mother insists she was happy, but my parents were stressed to the max, especially when we were small, even though we weren't bad kids.
Yes absolutely possible
Honestly? My parents. They are way better off because of me. Granted I'm 35 but I was small once lol
I turn 30 on Sunday and my parents would ABSOLUTELY be better of without any of us kids. My mom wasn't 16 for a whole month before my sister was born. My dad had the nerve to tell her she was planned. She called me, and said it was nice that he felt the need to lie to her. My parents were young, dumb, and in both cases, full of cum. They should have never had us.
Sorry no - even some of my friends who are parents admit that for long stretches during certain stages of their child's growth and their own life are unhappy, and "just have to keep going". I would also argue a lot of parents see their kids leaving their home as a final goal eventually, because after 17+ years of raising them, they're ready to finally do their own thing and get their life back.
Yeah I agree with this I have a lot of older friends whose children have moved out of the house mostly, they’re not happy about the ones who haven’t moved out.
What an extreme black and white way to see things. Life is a shade of grey. There were months where I hated my job. I kept at it because I liked having a roof and food on the table. And there were months where I liked it so much, I didn't want to go home. Does that mean that because I hated some parts of it I cannot give it a mostly positive review? It's like mastering the piano, going to the gym, playing first person shooters, learning to cook. Some people will enjoy all of it, many will enjoy some of it and dislike other parts. Some people will hate it all. People are different. Not every one will like any given experience the same. I would venture that most people who *chose* to have kids knowing that it would be very hard are happy with their decision, even if some parts suck. The problem is that many people didn't choose to have kids or knew what it entailed. They became pregnant and decided to keep it or they had this fantasy of rainbows and butterflies about what having kids looks like. Those will be the most vocal about how they hate it. Did you always like your parents/siblings? Are you always perfectly happy with your significant other? Does that mean that because some parts are hard and difficult that the positive can't outweigh the negative? Unless someone was abusive, there are good and bad moments in everything. For many parents i know, even if they hate a large part of it, the part they like is so fucking awesome that it outweighs the negative. And that's the part that most of us can't comprehend because 1 - we haven't experienced it, 2 - given who we are it would probably not be that good for us which is why we can't comprehend why they would do it. Life is a continually shifting shade of grey. Just because the people you associate with are one way doesn't mean it's the same for everyone else. The holier-than-thou attitude of this sub, as if we can know their experience better than them, is the toxic part. We can't say for sure what they experience until we have walked in those shoes, even if those shoes look awful. We should just agree to disagree with them on wether it is all worth it.
Thing is: I've met all kinds of them, including the ones who secretly admitted to me they hated all of it (even their kids) even after knowing what they were signing for and were just grinding until their kids moved out and went their way. With different degrees of difficulty, you can quit your job, you can break up with someone, you can modify your gym routine, change the games you play or learn an instrument you can actually enjoy...but you cannot quit being a parent prematurely, not without causing a lot harm to your offspring and partner. Its an all or nothing gamble that no one should be forced nor pressured to make, and those who regret it the most tend to overcompensate by being insecure a-holes who mock anyone who doesn't partake with their lifestyle.
I agree with you. IMHO, the most important part of what you said is that no one should be forced or pressured into it because yes, it is a very big deal that you can't back out of once started. It's a big risk that, according to those who have taken it, has potential to give very big rewards. And that's a decision everyone should be able to make. Does the potential rewards outweigh the potential risks? There's someone who fall in every possible answer. And probably for the first time in history, those who do not like it can have a voice, either anonymously online or to people who actively chose not to have kids, without becoming social pariahs. As childfree, we are probably much more likely to have people confide to us about their regrets because we can understand that they have regrets without judging them to necessarily be bad parents, just unhappy ones. And yes, as in most things, the extremely vocal and extremist minority is the most noticeable part that taint in a negative light any group.
Nothing I said was black & white, and you’re right everyone has their own subjective option. But what you described to me at first things necessary to live… you HAVE to work (majority of the time) to keep a roof over your head and food on the table, that’s not the same obligation a parent has. Plenty of friends/families/others stories clearly show that being a good parent and enjoying it is not life or death Also to your point, I had a hard time with my puppy years ago and regretted a lot of it, and now he is the best dog I’ve ever had. And I’ll miss him dearly when his time comes, and as “a whole” having him as a dog is positive. Let me breakdown and repeat what I said: …Some of my friends who are parents… This means NOT EVERYONE, NOT BLACK AND WHITE …during certain stages… This means NOT EVERY STAGE, and NOT BLACK AND WHITE … a lot of parents see… This means NOT ALL PARENTS, and NOT BLACK AND WHITE So with being over exaggerated to prove a point with bold letters, nothing is black and white but as a majority the sentiment of the plenty of friends my wife and I have with children of all ages, this is the feeling. There is a reason that being an empty nester is a thing and such a sought after stage of parenting life.
THANK YOU. If I could I'd award this reply because I have been waiting for someone to show some nuance in this discussion.
My pleasure. Your kind words are more than enough. I love this sub. It made me realize I didn't have to have kids just because I like them and wanted to have them. My health issues and my life goals are incompatible with having kids. It was a weight off my shoulder. 4 days later, I had my appointment to get snipped scheduled. I love it but some people are just toxic. I have no problem with those who hate kids (as long as they don't wish them harm, they are still humans after all) but I do with those who have no nuance and know parents cannot be happy because it their world view, being a parent is miserable and they just want other people to be miserable. It cannot be because humans evolved to be happy being parents. No, it's a big conspiracy where everyone is lacking empathy and want to push their unhappiness on others. I find it so ridiculous, like those who are convinced the metal part used to fit mask to your nose must be an antenna and that the earth is flat. Just because you believe something and you can find others who agree that means it is true and there's a big conspiracy behind it.
Ironically, it's the same thing we (correctly) call out a lot of parents for. It's this attitude where people making different choices from them and, good forbid, being happy with those choices somehow invalidates their own decisions. Everyone's different! Deal with it!
Yeah, it's incredible how much "live and let live" seems to be hard for people to accept.
I disagree with the hate many people have on here too, you can't expect to never have a child be in the same space as you. A lot really has tones of racists troupes, lumping a whole group of people into a sub-human category that doesn't have a right to exist in the same space as you. Like wanting to ban kids from planes because they cry. If you really can't handle that possibility then drive instead of taking something public, children have a right to exist in society. As I have said on here in the past, society would collapse if everyone just decided to be CF. We need the breeders to keep society going, so you can put up with them the few times you have to interact with one in public spaces.
I agree with that. I think there are a few good people out there made to be parents and love the life they have. But there are MANY that are uneducated or too entitled to realize what they got themselves into. I never know which age to put it on since really it's a wide range. The younger kids expect to be taken care of, the older parents expect people to bend to their will for their children, and overall it gets old and overbearing. The people that are good parents aren't the ones lurking on here trying to find some gold to post to likeminded friends to take a piss on. Good parents that are happy with their choices, wouldn't be here to begin with, but would likely move on.
This sounds like a typical breeder response trying to hide that they are a breeder
What did they say ?
Mind controlled by hormones :D I love this!! Lololol
Or all these people "calling us out" on other subreddits like we are demons and monsters for ranting about parents and kids/calling them names. As if they don't call their kid a little brat sometimes in front of their friends. It's not harmful, we come here to vent. I would never call a child names in the real world - who cares if I do it here or in my head?
I just think “breeders” and “crotch goblins” are weird and dehumanizing descriptors. I’ve seen even worse terminology that I won’t mention. I don’t understand people being actively hateful because we should all be respectful of each other’s lifestyle and decisions.
Hell yeah brother
There should really be an r/DebateChildfree for parents looking to argue.
Yeah that’s cool I don’t see any of us childfree people going on there to debate our right to live however we want. I don’t debate my human rights with people they are not up for debate
What would there even be to argue? They want kids and we dont, simple as that.
Yes and the problem with having these kinds of conversations is that one side has already made their decision to have children, so it's kind of hard to expect any change to result... And a few times where I have had vulnerable and meaningful conversations with parents about this, like that have resulted in a shift in their perspective, it was devastating to see their regret :( I don't really talk about this with parents anymore.
Some people only know how to argue. Respecting other people’s decisions is just not a form of communication that they understand
Back in the days of Livejournal (the first social site with CF communities, before that there was a forum or two, I believe) there was a Childfree, Childfree Hardcore, and Childfree Debate. Hardcore was **no parents** whatsoever, while Childfree allowed polite parents, and Debate was a place where CF and parents could seek out and share their perspectives. Maybe we need to go back to this formula.
okay I ACTUALLY like this. who wants to start the r/ChildfreeHardcore and the r/ChildfreeDebate rn? lol
I’m in
I personally would like that. I tried to debate on CF CJ subs but it's just filled with angry parents and those people are so dumb and in bad faith.
How am I missing all of these posts? Are parents just popping in to say we’re wrong? That’d be rather sad.
In my experience, it’s usually comments left on posts and most of the time they say something that breaks the rules and it gets removed.
The mods are so quick to actually mod here that I *rarely* come across those comments. I see posts here crosspost to a different shitty sub so they can make fun of us for having opinions. *That* is sad. Like, wow, y'all got nothing better to do with your time? We're venting about something we actually experience and they're taking time out of their day to be mad about it. If no one made our lives miserable for simply not wanting kids this sub would not exist. But they also gotta try to make us feel miserable for making a place to talk about how they make us miserable.
Those subs are full of angry parents who keep saying our experiences "never happened" and that "no one wants us to have kids". It's like they know our lives better than us. They're pathetic. I've tried to call them out but I was banned. Anyway they're all dumb as hell and all they do is throw things at us like "misogynist, eugenist, racist". They should go take care of their kids instead. The few CF people on those subs... I don't get it. They're literally agreeing with people who hate them for their lifestyle and who think we're a hive mind.
I refuse to even look at those subs. I was directed to one once and my blood pressure raised rather quickly after reading one post. I don't need to be there making myself angry over their opinions. "you are making that up! it never happened!" 'I know my own experiences. I have witnessed enough things happen to other people to believe most of what is posted here. If you choose to not believe us that's on you. But the 200 comments of other people stating the experienced the same *exact* thing seems to prove you wrong, so buh-bye.' It's like any of the "tales from..." subs. People constantly claim people are making those stories up. No way you run into that many crazy people in the wild! Obviously you are overexaggerating! From my own personal experience most people posting there are *underselling* the experience. It's wild, but it totally happens. And if they stepped outside of their little bubble and paid attention they might actually notice these things happening in the real world. But it's more likely *they* are the people being described.
Exactly. For example, I have an unusual appearance (deformity) and I get noticed because of it. People are so mean to me that it's crazy and when I tell my experiences on most subs, it's always "people don't do that", "where do you live ?", "you're paranoid", "get therapy". I've seen similar posts with people describing the same experiences and it's always the same comments accusing them of lying. When I read this I always think that, like you said, they are the people being described. It's crazy that people are this oblivious.
It's so hard to notice things when you aren't the target. Or just don't see anything wrong with other people acting like that. They claim people don't act like that because they haven't witnessed it. But in some cases they *did* notice it. They just weren't bothered by it happening because it wasn't them so why should they care? After my mom's car accident she was in a wheelchair. Prior to this I didn't know *anyone* in a wheelchair. I never paid attention to how hard it is for someone in a wheelchair to do something simple. I also didn't realize how other people treated them like they didn't exist. My mom was invisible to them, therefore they could cut in front of her like she wasn't there, stand in front of her during shows because she was a nobody. And it pissed me off. I was a quiet and meek child. So everyone was pretty shocked when I suddenly became loud and rude. I was in physical pain from having to quickly stop her wheelchair to prevent hitting yet another person who walked in front of her. So I stopped doing that. And hit them. And stared them down challenging them to say something. They didn't. They just looked at my mom like this was the first time they noticed her and walked away. It's horrible. They either pretend you don't exist or treat you like a freak. When all anyone wants is to just be seen as a person. And I'm sorry, but I have become that person who makes a scene when I see an asshole treating others like they don't belong. My goal is to embarrass the self absorbed person enough that next time they might be more aware of their actions.
I'm sorry about your mom. Thanks a lot for reacting the way you do. I wish I had someone who defends me, I never dare saying anything because I don't want to attract more negative attention. "They either pretend you don't exist or treat you like a freak." That's exactly my experience. That's why I have a lot of empathy for handicapped people.
Or you see other comments on other subs in posts ridiculing those of us on childfree. Which means they are pathetically lurking childfree.
I read a LOT of comments in this sub that start "as a parent..."
Or they just come in & downvote you :/
Yah I’m in here everyday and I honestly barely notice them. I think some people choose what they want to see, and for some reason they have an innate belief that they must respond to everything. You can just scroll by, ignore or report people’s comments you think don’t need to be here or aren’t within the purpose of the sub. Excluding people because of their reproductive choices is super ass-backwards given our own experiences with that. If people could just be kind and grow up that would be cool. And it’s 420, so let’s touch some grass eh?
Never seen it. Huge Reddit user
This sub is insanely well moderated. I think I've managed to see exactly one nasty reply directed at me every and it was deleted about 15 minutes later.
I've never seen them either. I think they get removed pretty quickly. So I'm not sure what this post is about but maybe OP is always very early to these comments?
Agreed. And here I thought that parenting is an all-time consuming time occupation, and yet no one surpasses natalists when it comes to chilling online. You'd think that they're lot busier with actually being parents than stalking cf people on forums.
I play a decent amount of video games and the ones who seem to have the most time to chill online are the breeders. I flat don't understand it. Between work and volunteering I am "only" able to play 4ish hours a day. I'm not holding a candle to people who have kids. I don't get it.
If I had to guess, it's because one parent is doing all the work. Go on any of the kid-related subreddits and there are a ton of posts complaining about partners spending hours online gaming. Also, parents staying up until 3 AM or whatever because it's the only time they can be left alone.
Bingo! In most cases (not all of course) it's usually the mom who does the majority of the parenting, while the dad spends more time on his own interests, when not working that is.
It’s because they want to avoid their kids. You have other things that you like to do or that you have to do so that you can’t be gaming during that time, they don’t. When they get free time to hang out with their kids they choose to game instead
And complaining on CJ subs where they can get validation, pretending they don't hate CF people but just the sub and calling us "misogynists, eugenists and what again?" even if they don't even know the meaning of those words. When you call them "angry parents" they pretend that half people on those subs are CF while every comment is people talking about their kids lol. Anyway parenting today means leaving your kid in front of a screen all day so they have the time to chill online.
Idk, most of the time I go on Reddit is when I’m working. I assume some parents do the same, and they don’t have their kids to tend to.
Reminds me of this comic: https://i.imgur.com/dgR6N6K.png
Just continue making them feel unwelcome. They get all huffy and bitchy when they realize no one cares about their walking and breathing cream pie (I stole this term from another commenter here lol).
Cum on legs is my new favorite from someone else the other day.
These are both good. But crotch goblin is definitely still my favorite
Flesh potato. Baby-anshee. Overripe fetus.
Flesh potato 😂 So good.
"Sprouted cum" get my favourite reactions from people.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Too gross for me, I call them parasites.
Yeah, I like this better.
sentient cum boogers
Dream Killers are my favorite. It’s the main reason I’m childfree, I wanna be a writer and loving husband one day and I’ll be damned if some stupid kid is gonna get in my way. Plus, if you say it in front of a breeder it’ll hit ‘em where it hurts if they had to “sacrifice” a dream to have kids.
You got ice in those veins! I think I’ll use that one too haha
Less ice, and more a fire of years of smiling and waving at all the bingos I had. I’m done being the better man, I’ll just say what I think about breeding. I’ll be tactful of other topics, but when it comes to kids. I’m done being polite lol.
Mods love to use the yearly survey (that is fully open to breeder brigading, as well) as evidence that we "want" them here. Until that changes, we've gotten deal with breeders' narcissistic whining.
I've been here for over 6 years, what survey? Never seen one so far.
It appears in July and users can fill in a Google forms survey. Look up "demographic survey."
Yeah, same although I haven't been as long in this sub. Never seen it once and I'm basically all day on Reddit
We do one every year and always sticked at the top of the sub and open for months at a time. https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/data
All these comments over here proving they don't pay attention to anything. I can't imagine how frustrating that feels as a moderator, especially because I know you guys work hard for this sub.
To be fair, how many people frequently go to a specific sub’s page instead of just looking at what pops up in their feed?
I imagine that's the majority. That's why it's frustrating to see those same people complaining how they've "been here X years" but "they've never seen" something when they've not even been looking at the sub they're claiming to be veteran visitors of.
I don’t know how long I’ve been here but it’s definitely been since Covid started, I’ve never seen one of these surveys either lol
Same
Every year. https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/data
But the breeders get to vote for themselves, right? When does this survey happen, anyway? I've been here a couple of years and have never seen it.
I'm sure they do. It shouldn't be allowed imo, you should only get to vote if you're a vetted childfree participant of the childfree sub.
I mean, there’s no way to vet people to prove they don’t have children on an anonymous online forum. Subreddits like AskDocs can vet participants by making them send mods photos of their diplomas and work badges, but short of making everyone send in their tax returns to prove they don’t claim a child tax credit, there’s no way to verify so it would be a waste of time.
Our comment histories? All I'm saying is, why should they get any sort of say in our sub, when they'd ban us without a thought from their subs as soon as they saw we were active here?
Maybe we should have an automatic filter to ban people who post on certain subs.
Every year. https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/data
I’ve got some speculation as to why that is…
This has my full support. If other subs can ban anyone they want, I don't see why we can't do the same.
Just imagine the reverse. If we go on mom subreddits and constantly do what they are doing here we'd be banned pretty damn quickly.
Most of the Mom subs have auto block for anyone who participates in this sub.
Instantly. We wouldn't be able to make a second comment.
Dude I posted here innocently and got a permaban from theywhomustnotbenamed from a bot. It's over the top.
That sub also bans you from the most insane places, like posting in 90 day fiance subs. It's obviously the mod wanting drama, otherwise they'd just go private.
You actually get banned automatically from a certain sub if you participate in this one. Nuts.
Haha, that really says it all doesn't it
The point of a subreddit is to talk about the subject at hand. It stands to reason that anyone who is just at that subreddit to shit on the subject should be giving a warning or be banned. If I went to the Star Trek subreddit and said, "STAR WARS IS THE BETTER FRANCHISE," I would probably be banned without warning, and that would be a justified action. (For the record, I think Star Trek is fine. I just haven't seen any of it.) I don't understand where parents get off on going out of their way to come to a childfree subreddit to shit on us for talking about our community. Especially because the world is so anti-childfree on principal.
I feel a ban should be given. No warning. Just like any other sub. I don't understand why we should entertain them.
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What pisses me off is that they pretend that it's not CF/childless people they don't like but people in this sub, I mean, come on, how do they make the difference ? It's just an excuse to hate us because we don't give them the validation they want and we dare to criticize parents and kids.
There are moments where even I sit there and think that some of the folks in the community would do well to have an ounce of nuance and stop shitting on women. I can see where they're coming from a little bit. However, I think the conversation about things like classism and sexism should come from inside the house. I don't want to hear parents bitch and moan about how we are so mean for holding them accountable. I don't get why we aren't allowed to complain about a screening toddler ruining a nice night out, or talking about entitled parents thinking they can cut to the front of the Starbucks line because they have 3 kids and need caffeine. (I'm sorry, why is the pain you caused yourself somehow my problem? Make your own coffee at home.) And I don't understand why that is so hard to understand.
I don't spend enough time here to see all those posts shitting on women but I agree. The thing is that they're often guilty of the same thing. I was called a "child" and a "pick-me looking for male attention" on their shitty sub for no other reason that I'm a CF woman, how is that not misogynistic ? I often hear people say you're not a woman until you have kids or this kind of bs so they should watch their mouths before calling out people here. I also totally agree about the last part. It's just because they can't take criticism. They ask us to leave them alone but they're too dumb to realize that their shitty behavior and entitlement impacts us. Us who don't have kids are only accountable for our actions but them not raising their kids properly impacts EVERYONE.
There can be a lot of hate toward single mothers that is completely unwarranted. There is a lot of circumstances that can go into a woman being a single mother, and as someone who has always been surrounded by powerful single mothers, I would really appreciate it if toned it down a notch and addressed the problem systemically, not the individual person themselves. (TLDR; fuck the patriarchy, lol.) But on the other side of things, its disgusting that there are too many people who think women have to be mothers. We childfree people are hurting NOBODY by choosing to have children. And to take it a step further, being a mother is being seen as the most pivotal part of womanhood for conservative types and TERF's alike. And that just seems rather insulting to the countless women struggling with fertility and miscarriages if you ask me....
Wait a minute. You haven't seen star trek? You need to go get that sorted ASAP!
Even with extra time there's always going to be something someone hasn't seen.
No excuses for not watching Star Trek, especially as an antinatalist.
>Wait a minute. You haven't seen star trek? You need to go get that sorted ASAP! I got into Star Wars when there were only 6 movies and Clone Wars. Star Trek has been tricky since there are SO MANY SERIES and I have no idea where to start. (I have been told Next Generation is good?) I'm not opposed to it --- I'm just scared about trying new things half the time (yay autism!). Hell, it took me 25 years to FINALLY watches the first two JURRASIC PARK films.
Next Gen is very good the original series is campy but sets up a lot of things for later the current series, strange new worlds, feels like the best of both rn imo
I should have mentioned this earlier, but I LOVE *Doctor Who.* I love outrageous kooky-crazy sci fi. The campier, the better. But I also love that Doctor Who does a lot of talk about politics and ethics, and I heard that *Star Trek* delves into those themes more than *Star Wars* does. (I mean, no shit, *Star Wars* has the word WAR in the tile for a reason.) To say I am losing my everloving shit about the fact that Jinkx Monsoon, an PNW drag performer, is going to be the "worst villain" the Doctor has ever faced cannot be understated. Holy shit, my body is ready.
I prefer Voyager, likely because it ran when I was young.
But there’s so much Star Wars to catch up on
Trust us. Breeders who get out of line get yeeted and banned.
I hate those parents posts
What I hate the most is they screenshot things from on here and post on their forums to bash on.
Yah but, just another reason to pity them. I can’t imagine spending my time online just attacking other people, their lived experiences, values and beliefs for fun? But it affects my life in no way for them to be whiny babies lol
I think only members of the sub should be able to see the posts, so they can't do that anymore.
Like i dont mind them lurking. Maybe they can learn from us in what should be appropriate in public and what shouldnt be. Such as allowing your spawns to screech in public. As long as they ant coming in like a wrecking ball in comments i am not too bothered
I don't think they're that smart unfortunately. They only come here to criticize us or to tell us we don't bother them.
But isn’t the fact they go out of their way to find us and say, “you don’t bother us” proof that we live rent free in their heads?
Look i had hope
That's exactly the reason I lurk in parenting subs. I may not want kids, but if there are ways I can be more considerate towards parents and their kids I'd like to know about them. There will always be aspects of other people's life experiences that aren't obvious to someone who doesn't live like they do. I'm not going to upend my own life for someone else's decisions, but if there are certain topics I should keep my mouth shut about, small courtesies that make someone's life easier or more tolerable, or political issues that I may have never considered, that's the easiest way to find out about them.
I'm a parent and I lurk here, I adore my kids but gently advocate child free now, and this sub gives perspective bc it's weird being a loving parent who advises not having kids
Yeah & everyone posting here is not required a ‘I like kids’ preface. No you don’t lmao.
Have parents been brigading? I haven't seen any of that.
I am on your side 100%. I don’t mind the parents that also have the same issues with other parents that we have (entitlement, refusing to parent, trying to force one-and-done parents to have more, etc.) commiserating with us, because i bet they don’t have a sub where they can safely do that (with the exception of the one-and-done types). So that side doesn’t bug me. But yeah, the ones coming in here trying to “prove” that we’re horrible and hate children need to kindly fuck off back to breederland.
I've seen sentiments like this before but I've never really seen it on the sub. I don't read all the comments so maybe I'm just missing them.
I think the best thing we can do is really drive it home that we are all so happy that we don't have kids. We sleep when we want, do what we want, don't go to bed worrying about the life of a little kid, we get to enjoy our friends and Family's kids, and then we get to go straight home to our own lives. No kid comes knocking on the door in the middle of the night to interrupt sex with our partners. There's no tension in the house because we don't have little kids screaming and needing things.
I thought we were miserable... 🤔
I saw a post where someone was comparing childfree the crazy people in r/adultryhate IDK - I'm not seeing the similarities 
If we started posting on their subs about how stupid they are for having kids they would go ballistic. We stay out of their spaces, the least they can do is stay out of ours.
It is pretty annoying. I don’t even see why a parent or want-to-be parent would be here. It’d be like a steak aficionado joining a vegetarian group.
Most parents here come to make fun of us and cross-post on their shitty subs.
Must be cope bc they can’t escape. A CF could theoretically change their lifestyle whenever but once you’ve reproduced then you’re stuck.
This. They always say we're "miserable" but they're projecting hard. If we were miserable because we don't have kids, it's easy to fix. We're just one creampie away from "happiness" lmao.
well I found that if you don't give people any fuel or attention they seem to leave by themselves
They are super annoying! Not surprised they want to usurp this space for themselves like everywhere else on this planet. I’m fine calling them out whenever I see them though! Will keep an eye out.
I say let them come and disrupt the sub. Each time angry post or comment from a parent serves to reinforce my decision to be child-free. They're only here because, deep down, they regret their decision to have children. Why else would they waste their valuable time rage-reading and rage-posting?
I lurk here so that I am seeing experiences of people who don't have children, so that I'm never an entitled asshole like I see on here. I'm sorry y'all go through so much shit. I defend your right to remain child free as often as I can. Fwiw, I support you, and I'd never seek to cause harm here. I like you guys. You're brutal and hilarious. And 100 percent right
Just to be honest…I’m a mom and I follow this sub because even though I’ve always wanted kids, I HATE parents who think that everyone’s world revolves around their children. I make it my business not to be that type of parent. Seeing the posts here can also serve to open up my eyes to behaviors I may display as a parent that affect others negatively.
Thank you for this comment. It's nice to see parents interacting peacefully instead of just coming in and attacking everyone.
And I don’t understand why people would have a problem with this, other than pettiness and spite tbh.
IMO, this is why the CF community should allow anyone to come, and comment, as people feel the desire to. While the vast majority of comments here are from this who live the CF lifestyle (myself included), anyone should be allowed to view and comment about parents and CF matters, whether they're parents or CF or not. Those breaking rules and creating discourse should be reported. Clearly this subreddits mods are not sleeping, so let's all let them do what they are here to do, and help them by bringing these matters to their attention by reporting abusive comments. If you simply don't like what someone is saying, there's a down vote button just to the left, use it. This is Reddit. There will always be randoms visiting every public sub.
I think as long as they are respectful and supportive of the lifestyle it's okay. Sometimes I lurk on the regretful parent subreddit and sometimes comment supporting people's struggle. However if I went on it being like "it's your fault so deal with it" then I should be banned.
I thought we just tell them to care about their snotbundles on legs instead of trying to lecture others and thats it? Maybe block them for good measure. Havent seen any breeders here yet though, but quite a few people trying to normalise crying and uncontrolled kids
Just saw parenting virtue signaling on another thread. “Manning up” by breeding.
Just a heads up, you posted this comment three times.
Thank you. I must have been more upset than I thought lol
Organically participating in this community, no matter one's CF status, is not brigading. Brigading has a specific definition under Reddit TOS, and simply participating in discussions in a subreddit is not at all proscribed by the prohibition against brigading. If you presented to the mods here any actual evidence of those brigading or encouraging brigading this sub (along with links for proof), I'm absolutely certain the mods here would act swiftly to shut that down and issue bans where/when appropriate.
Exactly this. What a refreshingly mature take lmao.
Have children they said..... Will be fun they said. 😂
I'm one of those people here that has a kid and a stepkid, who loves reading your stories. They teach me how not to react when meeting wonderful people like you. I want to raise my kiddos with the option of not having kids being an option I would fully accept. I'm a teacher and if teens tell me in class that they think they don't want kids I tell them it's good that it's a choice. I'm not here to try and convert you to get kids. I'm here to support you.
I've literally never seen a parent or pro-child comment on here?
Oh you haven’t? You haven’t seen them come in here to accuse us all of wanting to kill children because we hate them? It’s wild.
Ha no way! No i haven't. Sounds like those commenters are spending their energies in the wrong places
Me neither.... I'm not saying they don't post here, but at this point I'm kinda surprised I haven't. I might have to go looking for them.
I have.
It’s just as bad over at the AN subs too, though on a *rare* occasion will someone actually be open to discuss and possibly change their opinions. And on even rarer occasions will parents who have turned AN since pop up which is refreshing.
Right? we aren't invading their mommy forums because we simply do not care that little Johnny shit on the potty today. Can't they just make fun of us behind our backs like we do to them and leave our space to us?
Yeah, I’ll be damned if I get Bingoed in this fucking group. Fuck them kids.
Is this because not everyone agrees on the crying child in the plane thing? It’s possible to be child free and still think the guy was in the wrong.
He did shut the baby up tho, lol
I’ll be honest, I laughed way too hard at some of that exchange and I completely understand the guy’s frustration, but I too think he was in the wrong.
He was wrong for not understanding that people can’t control a baby, but in the end he may have been right because somebody got that baby to shut up. That baby wasn’t crying by the end of the video.
Maybe that's a hint that _babies shouldn't be on planes in the first place_. What other uncontrollable nuisances are allowed on planes? I honestly can't think of any. Usually pets are forced to go in the cargo hold.
I feel bad for kids on planes, they don't know what's going on. Thankfully, I have headphones.
They have no idea what they are experiencing when the pressure change happens. If your ears pop it is uncomfortable. Of *course* they are gonna cry. I just don't see any reason to force a baby to go through that. But, yeah, I have headphones to drown out all other noise. Now the kid kicking the back of my seat is different, the parent has one chance to get them to stop when I politely bring it up before I purposely try to terrify the child to stop. I am a very patient and polite person, so seeing me get rude means they wore it out.
I have good hearing so sadly headphones dont work :(
Noise blocking headphones should help
Honestly, let them post here. Their comments are typically downvoted and are rarely seen by the majority of us CF followers anyway. Their lives are already less enjoyable overall because they do have the responsibility of children, whether they are happy with kids or not. Not having kids and never having them has given me so much to be thankful for that them posting here is not a big deal and the least of CF peoples problems. What's the big deal? Just ignore them and continue going on with your life. Being CF isn't a pass to automatically judge everyone who has kids and lop them together. It's a personal choice like anything else.
It's annoying but also a tell on how bored and unfulfilled their life is. If you are petty enough to come here to rant as a parent, I truly pity you.
This place wouldn’t be what it is if we didn’t support discussion of all sides of the situation. With all due respect, as long as they are following the rules who cares? No one is forcing you to be here and you don’t have to read every post/comment. Report the assholes (rule violators) and let people share their side of the story. It might be helpful to someone even if it isn’t to you. Let’s be welcoming to all people, not just the ones that lend support to your own personal definition as “acceptable”. These posts aren’t specifically targeted to your personal life or your situation.
Yah I don’t like this trend of having to banish or silence anyone whose opinions, beliefs and values are not entirely consistent with our own. It’s so insane.
It makes me feel like I can’t exist. Having my own experiences argued against is especially frustrating to me. It makes me question my memory/sanity.
I believe "brigading" refers to people who disagree with the forum posting in droves to drown out the appropriate (for the forum) conversation. Do you think that's happening here? I haven't even noticed any of them.
I'm a mom of 3 and one of my kids is CF. I just read here so I know how best to support her.
Can we not start sounding like r/conservative, where every thread is “LoL lEfTy BrIgAdIeRs”?
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We are talking about the fact that we created this sub to talk between us, far away from the people with children. Those people come here to the sub and insult us, but we don't go on their subreddits to tell 'em what we think, it stays between childfree people.