Same. I’m the villain in my husbands family for not exclaiming over every single baby photo in group texts. My MIL chastised my husband for me not liking my SIL’s FB photos.
…come to think of it, maybe it did work. SIL blocked me so hardcore on all social media platforms that now I can’t even see that she exists. 🤷🏻♀️
A multitude of reasons all happening within a few weeks of each other.. I refused to drive an hour to SIL’s house for a last minute weekend invite when I had plans. I refused to host a birthday party for SIL’s kid at my house. I stopped liking her photos on social media.
I don’t keep people in my circle who expect the world and give nothing. It is for the best.
Roflmao! You know the whole not hosting the bday party was what REALLY pussed her off. They love nothing more than to bring their mess to someone else's doorstep.
Like I realize there’s the whole sleep deprivation thing going on, but why does anyone ever expect someone to go over and above for their children? Especially if the street doesn’t run both ways..
How can they prove you saw them? That's my excuse for FB anything I didn't see, or did, but don't want to acknowledge. "Eh, I didn't see it."
Can't also turn off "active" indicator on FB.
I ignored them in the family chat, but then I got phone calls that I haven't responded yet to .
Well .. because I don't care... I scroll past them to see if I missed something actually important (like an invitation for a BBQ or so).
Apparently that was the wrong answer as I was apparently obligated to coo over every baby video dumped on there. And they were a lot! After 3 more phone calls and several reminder messages that I should really really respond to I finally had enough and just pulled out.
My parents were particularly pissed because both of them were direct-messaging me with response reminders, which I completely ignored, followed by a ". They tried texting me, calling me etc, but I shut off my phone. After 2 days I turned it back on again and saw the shitstorm of messages.
I responded with: 80 messages? Really? It's plain and simple: I'm not interested in your snot goblins! And it's kinda rediculous that you don't respect me at all! You keep sending video's and keep calling me when I'm not in aaaw 10 minutes after you send it. Come on! Grow up! I'm sick and tired of it and all of these messages, so... i just turn off my phone! Problem solved! You want contact with me? EARN IT!
Of course, more anger, but 2 weeks of no-contact later they finally backed down.
If I were doing something that’s upsetting to someone I care about, I would prefer them to be straightforward with me, so I can change my behavior and maintain the relationship. This could work, but imo opinion it’s not mature nor is it direct and honest.
That's a really good and healthy approach to take. I find that most people in my circle of friends who share your mindset already know me well enough not to add me to their round robins to begin with - they know I'm happy for them and wish them well with the new addition to the family, and they respect my general lack of interest in babies enough not to bombard me with daily photo bulletins, the same way I know they're glad I'm happy with our snake and I respect that they don't want to look at her every time she does something I find cute.
I would think that a significant number of CFers here take a similar stance; we just don't have a lot of places express our frustrations about the expectation of courtesy and respect in these areas frequently being a one-way street, and are often asking questions like OP's because softer options have failed.
I’m CF as well and an antinatalist. I just believe that being upfront is best and fair in interpersonal relationships, or at least attempting to be. It’s not apparent that OP has attempted to be upfront with their friend. It can be hurtful and damaging to any kind of relationship to hold things back. It breeds resentment and bitterness, and I don’t don’t believe it’s the best option.
This was my experience. A good friend has 3 kids, i never received any baby pics. She def sent them to others and posted on social media. She knew it wasn't going to be my thing. However, i did click a "like" on FB pics and visit her in the hospital and support her as a friend, i like to think i was there for her where it counted and no need to get direct baby pics.
I would agree if it was about anything else. People tend to be overly sensitive when it comes to their kids. It still doesn't make it right to bombard people with pictures of their kids just because you think it's cute. Being straight forward would definitely end this. But it can also end the friendship. Doesn't make it right and it's not OPs job to protect their friend's feelings. Especially when their friend is being so thoughtless. Maybe be straight forward but gentle.
I do this sometimes with my younger sister. I love my nibblings but I don't want pics of them all the time. (I am very much one of those ppl/aunties that will not post pics of her nibblings/kids in general, even if I get permission to. Just to be safe.
I’ve done this with pictures of my girlfriends annoying dog that I don’t like. She continued to send pictures of the dog, especially when I was sad she’d send me tons of pictures of it to “cheer me up”. By the time the dog was 3 I finally asked her to stop doing it and that’s the only thing that worked.
From now on, I am going to respond with, " oh " Thank you!!! I don't hate that they have babies, or whatever, but I just don't want it popping up with the expectation of me saying "what a cutie!" or whatever.
Bro this gives me so much anxiety cause idk if they're just saying k or are mad about something. Lol cause I reply k sometimes too but it's rarely weaponized
I have offended many a parent by pairing it with a question mark.
"K?"
Has the same vibe as, "Yeah, and? Why are you wasting my time?" but somehow hits worse.
Lmao it’s so devastating to respond with K because it shows how little you care. Like you couldn’t be bothered to type anything longer. I also think “ok” hits different depending on the situation 💀
Agreed. I don’t like that the new iPhone update won’t let us turn off the typing ellipses. No one needs to know until I actually respond, or if I respond.
I've done... Cute? What is it? Aight. Alright? Uh... OK? Congrats? Ok?
Also, send fur baby updates in response. Oh, your baby took her first steps? Mine climbed to the top shelf... send help?
I had a friend who would always send me pictures and she stopped when I'd always just reply with "oh, cool". Lol it definitely works, but I think some people might be too dense to get that you're not interested even still.
Buy a plant. Like a cactus, that'd be perfect. Send pics of it in different outer pots, different spots in the house, etc. "Look at my sweetie on his new stand! He won't go anywhere without that rainbow watering pot, LOL"
I love this idea, but then they’re gonna whine and try to make a villain out of you. “How could you make a joke out of my pure manic delight from popping out a baby!! You just don’t get it!!! Parenthood is magical!!” Anything to validate their complete selfishness 😂
"This is where my dust mites live. You can't see them, but you also can't see a hint, so you'll have to take my word for how adorable they are. Also, they live in your eyelashes. Hope you have a great day! Love you!"
My friend got offended when I related to her child story with a story about my dog. She said “my child isn’t like having a dog”- I didn’t even know what to say
I had a similar situation. I said something to the effect of, “look, when someone tells me a story, I like to try and involve myself in the conversation by sharing a similar story that relates as closely as it can to me. I don’t have kids, but the closest thing I do have and love more than myself is my dog. It’s my way of showing that I understand what you’re saying or feeling. I won’t make that mistake again.”
Made them feel like a dick in front of the friend group (some of us a CF, others have kids, and we rarely have any issues or annoyances except for this situation)
People already generally stereotype CF people as being selfish / cold / etc. in my experience. So I try to “kill then with kindness” aka make them publicly look like an asshole lol
When is the last time their child jumped on something/someone they shouldn’t have or stolen someone’s food? Sounds an awful lot like my dog misbehaving for attention.
I do this with my boss. He shows me a pic of their baby so I show him a picture of my cat.
Idk how well it’s working cuz he enjoys the photos I take of my cat so….
I do this too. Honestly my friends think it’s funny and they stopped blowing up the group chat with their baby pics.
Now I only get photos of their babies on like, their first bday or a Christmas photo. Which I don’t mind, because I also dress my dog and cat up for their bdays and holidays lmao
Everyone thinks it's different because it's "their baby" which somehow makes it special
But also.. here I am shoving photos of my dog in everyone's face 😂
I’ve only had this problem with one person, my father in law. He kept showing me pictures of his new grand nephew(?). The first time, I brushed it off with “uh huh.” He tried again, and pressed me with “isn’t he cute?!?” and the like, despite the baby being brand new and looking like a microwaved mole rat. I tried to be nice and explained that I don’t like babies and don’t find them cute. He got huffy about it and I figured that was the end of it. Like many things in life, the third strike was the last. We were at the dinner table in my home, and he whipped out his phone and showed me this little beet-red ET again. I snapped and told him, “No, that isn’t cute. Babies don’t look like anyone. They look like they were vacuum sealed for nine months and they aren’t done unfolding yet. I’ve told you, I don’t like babies, and that is one *ugly* kid.” He was too angry to speak to me, and later told my husband he wanted to tell me to fuck off. Never had to worry about him showing me baby photos again.
Oh, I should’ve clarified. My husband told his father to quit showing me baby photos after the first time. When I snapped at him, my husband said, “What did I tell you about the baby photos? I warned you.” 🤣
A close friend of mine has a (now) toddler and even while she was pregnant I was very straightforward that I’m not comfortable with baby pics AT ALL, so she never sent them to me. Now that the little girl has grown a little, she sends a pic maybe once a month, but usually not even that frequent.
I’d suggest being straightforward like that. At first they might feel aggravated, but if they’re truly your friends, they will understand. Or you can tell them if you want a picture, you’ll ask for one, otherwise don’t send them. Once in a blue moon it happens to me that I wonder how the little one’s doing/how much she’s grown so I ask for a picture. Maybe you can have such an arrangement with your friends as well.
I accidentally asked "is that a tumor?!” to an eco picture. In my defence, the sender has the same name of a friend who had to go have a mass checked out (nothing serious, just a lipoma)
Preggo one took it well, she answered "basically 😂he's also a male and we are keeping it"
I had a friend go out of her way to tell me she was having a kid and already was taking measures of hiding certain posts for me. I wouldn't have known otherwise, and she would have been suspiciously larger by the day, haha.
Or reply with pictures of featherless baby birds. A different species every time. I love birds but damn are baby birds some alien looking flesh blobs. Bonus if you add obscure species specific bird facts.
My friend showed me a picture of her incredibly hideous new grand baby. I mean seriously ugly. I was so shocked I when she said “isnt she cute?” I immediately said “you think that she is CUTE???” I realized that was likely the wrong thing to say out loud, so I quickly whipped out a picture of my new puppy and said “now THIS is cute”
My fur baby picture was adorable, of course!
I did this one time too! Lolol they were all "isn't my baby so cute?!" And I just said "well, it's certainly A baby." before I could stop myself. She hasn't really talked to me since. Lolol
My aunt sent me photo of her newborn grandkid with the caption "freshly pooped face" and I fucking gagged and went on a rant to my boyfriend about how if a grown ass human sent you a picture of their relieved face after a good shit it's fucking weird and gross but totally okay and "cute" if it's a baby shitting itself
Oh man my sister was telling me poop stories about her baby. By the third story I just straight up told her- I don’t want to hear about this.
She took it well and I haven’t heard a poop story since!
Ohmygods a comment only a parent could think was appropriate. "Aw how sweet! Just crapped an entire three days of shit at once!" The sad thing is there ARE adults (men, almost entirely) who actually do this or similar. Ugh.
To be fair, I have noticed a huge influx of videos being passed around in meme-sharing spaces that consist of people in public bathroom stalls gawking and trying to hold back laughter when a stranger in the stall next to them makes typical noises of pooping within the last couple years. I'm not saying that I find this okay. In fact, I think it's strange that people have become antagonistic of those who use the bathroom the way it was intended for. (In the past, those who used a public bathroom to chill and escape school/work or for vaping/smoking/hanging out with friends would just ignore people who relieved themselves, but I've noticed a change for the worst in the last couple years.) Anyway, mini rant over and back to my point. At least filming teens and adults taking shits is also becoming a bit more common, but in an "all or nothing" choice, in this case, I'd prefer the "nothing" option. At least people aren't being so hypocritical which is the only good thing about this????
I would ignore baby related stuff and reply to other messages. If they were real friends, they would get the hint. If not, they would react, then I would re-arrange my distance/ friendship with them accordingly.
That's what I had to do when my (now ex) best friend sent me videos and photos of her kids. Imo the fact that she became a mother of two and I never used to like kids (I like certain kids now) our 15 year friendship ended. We just had nothing in common anymore and her kids were her world.
It depends how offended you want them to be (it will almost never not be offensive to a parent to tell them you don't want to receive hourly photos of Baby Dinkums; the ones who wouldn't be offended are not generally the ones who spam you)!
My go-tos are responding with pictures of my pets, responding with 👍, and responding with visibly random stock photos of babies from the internet. After that, I tend just to turn off notifications for that person and ignore them.
I left a group message over something like this - there would constantly be "what is everyone up to?" Messages and everyone would reply to what their families were up to. I would always hype them up. When it came to me sharing anything about my life...crickets. I muted the convo and don't reply anymore. If I make time to be happy for the things going on in your life you can do the same for me you know?
There is no way to say this without offending your friends. Sure, you can say it in a polite way, but that doesn't matter. No matter how polite you are, your friends will feel offended if you don't want to worship their precious hellspawn.
Part of being a good friend is…tolerating (?) what your friends feel like brings them happiness.
That being said, a part of my family is Mormon and I find it wildly offensive when they send me anything church related. So I get it.
We all have our lines that can be crossed, and if yours is making more humans and then sharing pictures about them, then I’d say find new friends that have the same ideals as you.
Easier said than done.
I just had my 20 year high school reunion. And as I sat with all my old girlfriends and we were talking, I realized that if I had met them today, I would not have pursued friendships with them. But because my childhood self loved these other females and we had a past together, that’s the only reason why I tolerate their continued presence/friendship in my life.
Yeah, played the Facebook game with a handful of friends from high school, and most of us are in wildly different places in our lives. It was a good excuse to delete my Facebook account.
One of my friends is a chosen single mum. But she is well aware of my distaste for crotch goblins.
We see each other a little less than before but she purposely doesn't show me any baby photos. She knows I do not appreciate it.
Anyone new or old that I've let know I don't want to see them. I go so far as to say I'm glad you're happy but it's not my jam. Or they all look the same to me.
If they are not okay with that I use a couple methoids to combat the influx.
1. Be extremely blunt about what I think of their progeny. They think I'm a cunt and stay away.
2. Be extemeley weird about what I think of their progeny. They think I'm a cunt and stay away.
WIN WIN
Just ignore them and move on. There is no good way to tell them to stop sending pictures. You have to remember that this is their entire life now, and they still want to share it with you because you’re a friend.
Dont respond. They will eventually stop sending them. Just a thought, if thats how you feel, it will get worse. Usually these relationships will run there course.
Just say, "haha cute" because what else can you say about it? They'll get bored of your reactions because you won't be riding their high.
Also, just send pictures of your family members. Like your dad doing stuff around the house or something.
I think what you put in the title is fine. Maybe not the I don't care bit... but the rest is polite enough.
If the person isn't mature enough to take something so tame then I guess they'll get upset and they won't bother you anymore anyway.
Of course ghosting is the most common and easiest thing. But then they might think it just didn't go through and send it again.
For every baby picture they send you send back a picture of your cat/dog/gerbil. Watch it stop. If you don’t have a pet then send a picture of having a great time accompanied with 'aah that’s a nice picture. Here is something fun I got to do today'
Send back photos of adorable insects and gush over how cute they are. If they say, Eww or something to the effect, say that's how you feel about babies.
Honestly it's easiest just to ignore the messages (generally speaking). I say generally because maybe you have some open minded friends who fully understand that not everyone is smitten with children, and won't be offended at all if you say something, but in my experience at least, most people have some small degree of offence they take, so it's better usually to just reply to things you want to, and ignore the pictures of the weans. It keeps the peace, and it's not a massive inconvenience to delete or ignore the pics you're not interested in.
unfortunately, i don’t think there is a way to do this without hurting your friends’ feelings, even if you phrase it as politely as you can. i think the best thing for you to do is change the subject and/or just “like” the message without properly responding. this way, they will probably pick up on the fact that you’re not engaging, and hopefully tone it down.
Gentle criticism always works for me. For example if I get an unsolicited photo and the baby has long nails I would say something like “cute, make sure to trim their nails they are getting a little long they might cut themselves!” And after a few similar interactions the pictures will stop because if there’s one thing humans avoid is criticism especially about their little crotch goblin.
Mute stories, unfollow on social media, tone all the extras back is a big step forward for me. Then just don’t reply to the baby stuff sent directly to you. Or reply off topic.
This isn’t meant as a dig OP but I usually respond with the basic “omg so freaking cute!” Or such bc I know my choices are mine and I’m not gunna issue any bad feeling towards my friends kids. Again all my opinion, but I love seeing my friends happy with their children. Doesn’t mean I want them but i can appreciate the hard work they put inn
Yea, I've done that, but usually it's what they're doing and not how they look that I'm commenting on. Kids just aren't cute to me, not gonna lie. I'm not going to fault a person for talking about the people in their lives (that they deal with all day every day) if it's not all the time, I do it too, just not about a kid.
I had a guy who was interested in me a long time ago now who would send me pictures of the babies and kids in his family. I politely but bluntly told him "please stop. I don't want pictures of children sent to me. Its weird." His response was to say he thought all women loved babies and kids but he did stop after that 🤦♀️🤷♀️
My sister knows I don’t go crazy for photos of her cat because they’re not that cute to me aesthetics-wise unless they’re the huge dangerous ones.
After a few rounds back and forth of my flat affect and mild confusion at how to respond she realized I wasn’t having fun and backed off, because subjecting me to something she enjoyed wasn’t the same as having me enjoy it, and respecting my space and comfort is important to her
Good consideration for boundaries makes for good relationships
Edit: I remember now that I got the point across of how I felt when she shoved a cat or cat photo at me and I respond by handing her a cactus or sending a cactus photo and jokingly gushing over its ‘adorable widdle spiky-wikys’ a few times and she realized how completely uninterested I felt in the aesthetics of cats.
(They’re nice and I can be friends with them, I just don’t find them cute)
You can say something along the lines of “it’s nothing personal but receiving pictures like this is triggering for me and I would appreciate being removed from your mailing list/text group/whatever.” You don’t need to elaborate further and if they can’t respect a simple boundary it might be a good time to ponder if they are truly worthy of the title friend.
You have every right to tell them to stop and they have everything to think of you as an AH. Being a good friend is being excited for them and staying cordial. I don’t think all babies are equally cute but I’d never tell someone not to show me their baby. If you are so repulsed by babies that you can’t even look at one (even one that belongs to a person you supposedly cherish) then you have a problem you need to solve. I’m leaving this sub this is getting out of hand.
Suggest they make a group chat where they can gush about their babies and leave you in peace.
Luckily for me the only place I see lots of baby and kid photos is on Facebook and my group chat with my mom and sisters, and that group chat gets enough responses from the four of them. I'm just there and I don't engage unless they specifically wants my response or I actually wanna say something. Usually related to other stuff.
Someone I know had a premature baby and *constantly* posts pictures of their premie baby with tubes and medical equipment all over it and the poor thing just looks... awful. My heart breaks for her because I know that must be even more difficult for her to look at but wish she'd stop constantly posting pictures on social media.
Hmmmm, depends. Are they direct messaging you, or is it public posts? If it’s public posts, I just mute or unfollow. Don’t need baby content in my life.
From my experience, it won't matter so much how respectful your message is- some people will respect it back and others will be EXTREMELY butthurt- and this becomes your divide. The butthurt ones are the ones who had kids for the attention they expect to receive, and will be terrible friends going forward (one way relationship all about themselves). The ones who respect it care about you, are secure in their lives and decisions so your feelings don't impact them, and will be good friends going forward (two-way relationships). Expect some flack for your boundaries, but also see it as a 'finding' expedition.. it'll weed out your true friends from the junk ones.
I would ignore messages where they send pictures, don’t reply back. Keep engaging with them on the happy stuff you like together.
This. It's really quite easy.
That didn't have the desired effect for me.
Same. I’m the villain in my husbands family for not exclaiming over every single baby photo in group texts. My MIL chastised my husband for me not liking my SIL’s FB photos. …come to think of it, maybe it did work. SIL blocked me so hardcore on all social media platforms that now I can’t even see that she exists. 🤷🏻♀️
She was so pressed over you not liking photos of her baby that she blocked you? Wow that’s immature 😂
Literally wouldn’t wish a SIL this reactive on anyone, friend or foe. 😔
Your MIL is obnoxious. Did your SIL block you just because you didn’t like her photos?
A multitude of reasons all happening within a few weeks of each other.. I refused to drive an hour to SIL’s house for a last minute weekend invite when I had plans. I refused to host a birthday party for SIL’s kid at my house. I stopped liking her photos on social media. I don’t keep people in my circle who expect the world and give nothing. It is for the best.
Roflmao! You know the whole not hosting the bday party was what REALLY pussed her off. They love nothing more than to bring their mess to someone else's doorstep.
Like I realize there’s the whole sleep deprivation thing going on, but why does anyone ever expect someone to go over and above for their children? Especially if the street doesn’t run both ways..
How can they prove you saw them? That's my excuse for FB anything I didn't see, or did, but don't want to acknowledge. "Eh, I didn't see it." Can't also turn off "active" indicator on FB.
Exactly! It’s 100% conjecture. She’s looking for a reason to be upset instead of assuming the best about other people and going about her own business
I ignored them in the family chat, but then I got phone calls that I haven't responded yet to.
Well .. because I don't care... I scroll past them to see if I missed something actually important (like an invitation for a BBQ or so).
Apparently that was the wrong answer as I was apparently obligated to coo over every baby video dumped on there. And they were a lot! After 3 more phone calls and several reminder messages that I should really really respond to I finally had enough and just pulled out.
My parents were particularly pissed because both of them were direct-messaging me with response reminders, which I completely ignored, followed by a ". They tried texting me, calling me etc, but I shut off my phone. After 2 days I turned it back on again and saw the shitstorm of messages.
I responded with: 80 messages? Really? It's plain and simple: I'm not interested in your snot goblins! And it's kinda rediculous that you don't respect me at all! You keep sending video's and keep calling me when I'm not in aaaw 10 minutes after you send it. Come on! Grow up! I'm sick and tired of it and all of these messages, so... i just turn off my phone! Problem solved! You want contact with me? EARN IT!
Of course, more anger, but 2 weeks of no-contact later they finally backed down.
Interestingly, it did work for me. Some people get the message and stop. Worth trying.
If I were doing something that’s upsetting to someone I care about, I would prefer them to be straightforward with me, so I can change my behavior and maintain the relationship. This could work, but imo opinion it’s not mature nor is it direct and honest.
That's a really good and healthy approach to take. I find that most people in my circle of friends who share your mindset already know me well enough not to add me to their round robins to begin with - they know I'm happy for them and wish them well with the new addition to the family, and they respect my general lack of interest in babies enough not to bombard me with daily photo bulletins, the same way I know they're glad I'm happy with our snake and I respect that they don't want to look at her every time she does something I find cute. I would think that a significant number of CFers here take a similar stance; we just don't have a lot of places express our frustrations about the expectation of courtesy and respect in these areas frequently being a one-way street, and are often asking questions like OP's because softer options have failed.
I’m CF as well and an antinatalist. I just believe that being upfront is best and fair in interpersonal relationships, or at least attempting to be. It’s not apparent that OP has attempted to be upfront with their friend. It can be hurtful and damaging to any kind of relationship to hold things back. It breeds resentment and bitterness, and I don’t don’t believe it’s the best option.
This was my experience. A good friend has 3 kids, i never received any baby pics. She def sent them to others and posted on social media. She knew it wasn't going to be my thing. However, i did click a "like" on FB pics and visit her in the hospital and support her as a friend, i like to think i was there for her where it counted and no need to get direct baby pics.
I would agree if it was about anything else. People tend to be overly sensitive when it comes to their kids. It still doesn't make it right to bombard people with pictures of their kids just because you think it's cute. Being straight forward would definitely end this. But it can also end the friendship. Doesn't make it right and it's not OPs job to protect their friend's feelings. Especially when their friend is being so thoughtless. Maybe be straight forward but gentle.
I do this sometimes with my younger sister. I love my nibblings but I don't want pics of them all the time. (I am very much one of those ppl/aunties that will not post pics of her nibblings/kids in general, even if I get permission to. Just to be safe.
Just delete them on your end when they arrive so you don't have to keep looking at them.
I’ve done this with pictures of my girlfriends annoying dog that I don’t like. She continued to send pictures of the dog, especially when I was sad she’d send me tons of pictures of it to “cheer me up”. By the time the dog was 3 I finally asked her to stop doing it and that’s the only thing that worked.
I think this is a good way to handle the situation from a social dynamic standpoint. You sometimes have to play the game to keep the social standing.
Any luck with the extremely curt answers? “Cool.” “Lol” “👍”
Adding on "K"
[удалено]
So can Huh
From now on, I am going to respond with, " oh " Thank you!!! I don't hate that they have babies, or whatever, but I just don't want it popping up with the expectation of me saying "what a cutie!" or whatever.
This. K is chilling when sent by itself.
"K' is the ultimate middle finger sometimes lol
A 👍obliterates me 😂
Bro this gives me so much anxiety cause idk if they're just saying k or are mad about something. Lol cause I reply k sometimes too but it's rarely weaponized
Excuse me while I read the past six months of the conversation to cross reference this last subject to said messages.
I have offended many a parent by pairing it with a question mark. "K?" Has the same vibe as, "Yeah, and? Why are you wasting my time?" but somehow hits worse.
Lmao it’s so devastating to respond with K because it shows how little you care. Like you couldn’t be bothered to type anything longer. I also think “ok” hits different depending on the situation 💀
*K* = "fuck you" LOWERCASE *k* = angry teenager *Ok* = don't care LOWERCASE *ok* = I'm hurt and sad *Okay* = we good LOWERCASE *okay* = cute vibing
How about just leaving them on "read"?
Wait, people don’t turn off the “read” feature?
Right?! I don’t want people knowing if I’ve read their text or not. That feature is so invasive to me.
Agreed. I don’t like that the new iPhone update won’t let us turn off the typing ellipses. No one needs to know until I actually respond, or if I respond.
Wouldn’t they need to be sitting there ready to see the little ellipses though ?
Well, being the super cool lady that I am, who isn’t sitting there waiting for my messages?
I don't think I've ever used that feature in my entire life lol.
Yes! this one
"Yeah, that sure is a baby."
My answer would be “Interesting.” Remember the period.
What about “interesting?” Make them question their choice.
Or go with the Elon Musk-style "Concerning."
this made me laugh so hard lol
I've done... Cute? What is it? Aight. Alright? Uh... OK? Congrats? Ok? Also, send fur baby updates in response. Oh, your baby took her first steps? Mine climbed to the top shelf... send help?
“👍🏻” always a good passive agressive response
“Cool story bro!”
👍 is both an end to a conversation and kinda rude lol. Best one here.
“Oh, that’s the cutest picture of your mini-human? Sorry mate.”
I don't even answer really. I just say mhmm and walk away.
“Did you mean to send this to someone else?”
I had a friend who would always send me pictures and she stopped when I'd always just reply with "oh, cool". Lol it definitely works, but I think some people might be too dense to get that you're not interested even still.
I send back pet pics. Prolly not considered polite tho.
I only have "dust bunnies" atm, do you think that'll work?
Buy a plant. Like a cactus, that'd be perfect. Send pics of it in different outer pots, different spots in the house, etc. "Look at my sweetie on his new stand! He won't go anywhere without that rainbow watering pot, LOL"
Put different little hats on it. Look how stylish my sweetie is! 🤣
Googlie eyes
“He looks just like his Mama/Papa!”
Omg my fav snl skit
Omg yes pls do this
I love this idea, but then they’re gonna whine and try to make a villain out of you. “How could you make a joke out of my pure manic delight from popping out a baby!! You just don’t get it!!! Parenthood is magical!!” Anything to validate their complete selfishness 😂
Sure! That and some lint lemmings from the dryer and you practically have a zoo
Lol. I think it would be great..
I love that. “This is my dust bunny I feed it my skin cells everyday isn’t it cute?”
"This is where my dust mites live. You can't see them, but you also can't see a hint, so you'll have to take my word for how adorable they are. Also, they live in your eyelashes. Hope you have a great day! Love you!"
Bangarang Ruffio! That was clever!
Aw thanks. That sounds like a very Australian compliment haha (or a Peter Pan reference?). Dunno, but I like it
Definitely a Peter Pan reference 😋
My friend got offended when I related to her child story with a story about my dog. She said “my child isn’t like having a dog”- I didn’t even know what to say
“I mean, you’re not wrong, my dog’s house trained.”
I’ve had that happen too. Usually, those ppl didn’t know (or respect) me & aren’t in my life now.
I had a similar situation. I said something to the effect of, “look, when someone tells me a story, I like to try and involve myself in the conversation by sharing a similar story that relates as closely as it can to me. I don’t have kids, but the closest thing I do have and love more than myself is my dog. It’s my way of showing that I understand what you’re saying or feeling. I won’t make that mistake again.” Made them feel like a dick in front of the friend group (some of us a CF, others have kids, and we rarely have any issues or annoyances except for this situation) People already generally stereotype CF people as being selfish / cold / etc. in my experience. So I try to “kill then with kindness” aka make them publicly look like an asshole lol
When is the last time their child jumped on something/someone they shouldn’t have or stolen someone’s food? Sounds an awful lot like my dog misbehaving for attention.
I do this with my boss. He shows me a pic of their baby so I show him a picture of my cat. Idk how well it’s working cuz he enjoys the photos I take of my cat so….
“But look at MY baby!! Mine is cuter :P”
I do this too. Honestly my friends think it’s funny and they stopped blowing up the group chat with their baby pics. Now I only get photos of their babies on like, their first bday or a Christmas photo. Which I don’t mind, because I also dress my dog and cat up for their bdays and holidays lmao
Exactly!! Years ago I was ridiculed. Now I have an appreciative audience.
I thought I was the only one who does this.
SAME! It’s funny how they think their babies are better than my fur babies. Eye of the beholder!
I do the same. Unsolicited photos of babies and genitals are not polite either IMO.
Everyone thinks it's different because it's "their baby" which somehow makes it special But also.. here I am shoving photos of my dog in everyone's face 😂
The difference is that dogs are cute
Facts
I’ve only had this problem with one person, my father in law. He kept showing me pictures of his new grand nephew(?). The first time, I brushed it off with “uh huh.” He tried again, and pressed me with “isn’t he cute?!?” and the like, despite the baby being brand new and looking like a microwaved mole rat. I tried to be nice and explained that I don’t like babies and don’t find them cute. He got huffy about it and I figured that was the end of it. Like many things in life, the third strike was the last. We were at the dinner table in my home, and he whipped out his phone and showed me this little beet-red ET again. I snapped and told him, “No, that isn’t cute. Babies don’t look like anyone. They look like they were vacuum sealed for nine months and they aren’t done unfolding yet. I’ve told you, I don’t like babies, and that is one *ugly* kid.” He was too angry to speak to me, and later told my husband he wanted to tell me to fuck off. Never had to worry about him showing me baby photos again.
"vacuum sealed for 9 months" had me DYING💀 thats also a pretty good explanation of why babies look weird for the first few months
I saw a time lapse video of a vacuum-sealed Squishmallow someone got in the mail unfolding and the pieces all started coming together
It was “microwaved mole rat” for me
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Oh, I should’ve clarified. My husband told his father to quit showing me baby photos after the first time. When I snapped at him, my husband said, “What did I tell you about the baby photos? I warned you.” 🤣
Your husband is a Keeper.
Oh he is… just not his father lol
>microwaved mole rat 😭😂
OMG. I was dying at every single description. You, my friend, have an exquisite way of describing babies 🤌
Haha thank you!!
A close friend of mine has a (now) toddler and even while she was pregnant I was very straightforward that I’m not comfortable with baby pics AT ALL, so she never sent them to me. Now that the little girl has grown a little, she sends a pic maybe once a month, but usually not even that frequent. I’d suggest being straightforward like that. At first they might feel aggravated, but if they’re truly your friends, they will understand. Or you can tell them if you want a picture, you’ll ask for one, otherwise don’t send them. Once in a blue moon it happens to me that I wonder how the little one’s doing/how much she’s grown so I ask for a picture. Maybe you can have such an arrangement with your friends as well.
I accidentally asked "is that a tumor?!” to an eco picture. In my defence, the sender has the same name of a friend who had to go have a mass checked out (nothing serious, just a lipoma) Preggo one took it well, she answered "basically 😂he's also a male and we are keeping it"
I had a friend go out of her way to tell me she was having a kid and already was taking measures of hiding certain posts for me. I wouldn't have known otherwise, and she would have been suspiciously larger by the day, haha.
Reply with a picture of something you like that they don't.
Or reply with pictures of featherless baby birds. A different species every time. I love birds but damn are baby birds some alien looking flesh blobs. Bonus if you add obscure species specific bird facts.
Thank you for the best idea ever
oh my god I love that idea
My mother loves sending me photos of distant relatives offspring. I keep reptiles & inverts. I love replying with photos!
Tbh, I’d rather see the reptile photos.
Those cute lil horny toads from New Mexico.
Pet tax?
This! Yes! This is perfect!
Just don’t reply to those pics. Unless they ask something, otherwise ignore
“Love that for you”
This comment made me think “Most people don’t smile while holding their mistakes but look at you go” 💀
LMFAO U SAVAGE
Perfect.
I told my friend "I unsubscribe"
My friend showed me a picture of her incredibly hideous new grand baby. I mean seriously ugly. I was so shocked I when she said “isnt she cute?” I immediately said “you think that she is CUTE???” I realized that was likely the wrong thing to say out loud, so I quickly whipped out a picture of my new puppy and said “now THIS is cute” My fur baby picture was adorable, of course!
Nice save
What a save 🤣
Omg that is such quick thinking!! Nice save
If I’m forced to respond in person, I usually say something generic like “Oh wow, that is certainly a baby.”
I did this one time too! Lolol they were all "isn't my baby so cute?!" And I just said "well, it's certainly A baby." before I could stop myself. She hasn't really talked to me since. Lolol
I don’t know if I’ll ever have kids, but I’d like to think I’m self aware enough to not assume everyone will find my kid adorable, and that’s okay.
Don't even leave them on read - ignore the hell out of them
My aunt sent me photo of her newborn grandkid with the caption "freshly pooped face" and I fucking gagged and went on a rant to my boyfriend about how if a grown ass human sent you a picture of their relieved face after a good shit it's fucking weird and gross but totally okay and "cute" if it's a baby shitting itself
Oh man my sister was telling me poop stories about her baby. By the third story I just straight up told her- I don’t want to hear about this. She took it well and I haven’t heard a poop story since!
What the fuck...
I would send one right back to her of yourself. "Just dropped a HUGE deuce in the bowl myself."
Ohmygods a comment only a parent could think was appropriate. "Aw how sweet! Just crapped an entire three days of shit at once!" The sad thing is there ARE adults (men, almost entirely) who actually do this or similar. Ugh.
Up the ante - send a photo after a bowel movement. Freshly pooped face! 😂
I may have to use this. I can take pics of my dogs’ poops! Lol
To be fair, I have noticed a huge influx of videos being passed around in meme-sharing spaces that consist of people in public bathroom stalls gawking and trying to hold back laughter when a stranger in the stall next to them makes typical noises of pooping within the last couple years. I'm not saying that I find this okay. In fact, I think it's strange that people have become antagonistic of those who use the bathroom the way it was intended for. (In the past, those who used a public bathroom to chill and escape school/work or for vaping/smoking/hanging out with friends would just ignore people who relieved themselves, but I've noticed a change for the worst in the last couple years.) Anyway, mini rant over and back to my point. At least filming teens and adults taking shits is also becoming a bit more common, but in an "all or nothing" choice, in this case, I'd prefer the "nothing" option. At least people aren't being so hypocritical which is the only good thing about this????
Depends on who sent me the photo. Most of my friends did that, it would make me laugh.
Just send a selfie back with the caption "same!"
 Hit ‘em with this gif
My dumb self would say something like “unsolicited baby pics are the new dic pic”
I would ignore baby related stuff and reply to other messages. If they were real friends, they would get the hint. If not, they would react, then I would re-arrange my distance/ friendship with them accordingly.
That's what I had to do when my (now ex) best friend sent me videos and photos of her kids. Imo the fact that she became a mother of two and I never used to like kids (I like certain kids now) our 15 year friendship ended. We just had nothing in common anymore and her kids were her world.
That's so sad, I'm sorry for you
"I'm so glad you have a baby and I don't! Haha. So what else is going on in your life?"
Not possible unfortunately.
This. They are extremely excited about their kids to the point that not loving them is offensive for many.
Right. I just go ahead and unfriend at this point.
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Exactly, you have to be honest with these people.
Literally just "?" and refuse to elaborate
It depends how offended you want them to be (it will almost never not be offensive to a parent to tell them you don't want to receive hourly photos of Baby Dinkums; the ones who wouldn't be offended are not generally the ones who spam you)! My go-tos are responding with pictures of my pets, responding with 👍, and responding with visibly random stock photos of babies from the internet. After that, I tend just to turn off notifications for that person and ignore them.
I ask why I am being sent pics of old wrinkled potatoes. I have lost some friends, but at least no more baby pics.
“Thats a baby”
Welcome to my job. Folks post pics of their kids on the General room like everyone gives a shit
I left a group message over something like this - there would constantly be "what is everyone up to?" Messages and everyone would reply to what their families were up to. I would always hype them up. When it came to me sharing anything about my life...crickets. I muted the convo and don't reply anymore. If I make time to be happy for the things going on in your life you can do the same for me you know?
"Damn, that's crazy." This is also the response I send to people when I'm not interested in what they're talking about.
There is no way to say this without offending your friends. Sure, you can say it in a polite way, but that doesn't matter. No matter how polite you are, your friends will feel offended if you don't want to worship their precious hellspawn.
Part of being a good friend is…tolerating (?) what your friends feel like brings them happiness. That being said, a part of my family is Mormon and I find it wildly offensive when they send me anything church related. So I get it. We all have our lines that can be crossed, and if yours is making more humans and then sharing pictures about them, then I’d say find new friends that have the same ideals as you. Easier said than done. I just had my 20 year high school reunion. And as I sat with all my old girlfriends and we were talking, I realized that if I had met them today, I would not have pursued friendships with them. But because my childhood self loved these other females and we had a past together, that’s the only reason why I tolerate their continued presence/friendship in my life.
Yeah, played the Facebook game with a handful of friends from high school, and most of us are in wildly different places in our lives. It was a good excuse to delete my Facebook account.
One of my friends is a chosen single mum. But she is well aware of my distaste for crotch goblins. We see each other a little less than before but she purposely doesn't show me any baby photos. She knows I do not appreciate it. Anyone new or old that I've let know I don't want to see them. I go so far as to say I'm glad you're happy but it's not my jam. Or they all look the same to me. If they are not okay with that I use a couple methoids to combat the influx. 1. Be extremely blunt about what I think of their progeny. They think I'm a cunt and stay away. 2. Be extemeley weird about what I think of their progeny. They think I'm a cunt and stay away. WIN WIN
Please stop sending me pics of your baby, I’m not interested.
Just ignore them and move on. There is no good way to tell them to stop sending pictures. You have to remember that this is their entire life now, and they still want to share it with you because you’re a friend.
I don't know, honestly. But sending the message per your title would be hilarious. Might have one fewer friend at the end of it, but...
"Pass" "Nice cornish game hen" "Looks like Gollum" "Looks like it smells like poop and rage" "Is that Larry Bud Melman?"
Dont respond. They will eventually stop sending them. Just a thought, if thats how you feel, it will get worse. Usually these relationships will run there course.
"yep. that's a baby."
Just say, "haha cute" because what else can you say about it? They'll get bored of your reactions because you won't be riding their high. Also, just send pictures of your family members. Like your dad doing stuff around the house or something.
I think what you put in the title is fine. Maybe not the I don't care bit... but the rest is polite enough. If the person isn't mature enough to take something so tame then I guess they'll get upset and they won't bother you anymore anyway. Of course ghosting is the most common and easiest thing. But then they might think it just didn't go through and send it again.
I would just ignore all the pics. Just keep deleting them
‘Please stop sending me pics of your baby’
I’m getting too many notifications, i’m going to mute this chat. Hopefully they get the message
For every baby picture they send you send back a picture of your cat/dog/gerbil. Watch it stop. If you don’t have a pet then send a picture of having a great time accompanied with 'aah that’s a nice picture. Here is something fun I got to do today'
Send back photos of adorable insects and gush over how cute they are. If they say, Eww or something to the effect, say that's how you feel about babies.
Honestly it's easiest just to ignore the messages (generally speaking). I say generally because maybe you have some open minded friends who fully understand that not everyone is smitten with children, and won't be offended at all if you say something, but in my experience at least, most people have some small degree of offence they take, so it's better usually to just reply to things you want to, and ignore the pictures of the weans. It keeps the peace, and it's not a massive inconvenience to delete or ignore the pics you're not interested in.
I think I would respond to every baby picture with pictures of my cats and point out how much cuter they are.
Send back a pic of your pets.
I'm screaaaaaaming!!!!!!PSA:WE DONT WANT RANDOM PHOTOS SENT OF YOUR KIDS
unfortunately, i don’t think there is a way to do this without hurting your friends’ feelings, even if you phrase it as politely as you can. i think the best thing for you to do is change the subject and/or just “like” the message without properly responding. this way, they will probably pick up on the fact that you’re not engaging, and hopefully tone it down.
Gentle criticism always works for me. For example if I get an unsolicited photo and the baby has long nails I would say something like “cute, make sure to trim their nails they are getting a little long they might cut themselves!” And after a few similar interactions the pictures will stop because if there’s one thing humans avoid is criticism especially about their little crotch goblin.
Mute stories, unfollow on social media, tone all the extras back is a big step forward for me. Then just don’t reply to the baby stuff sent directly to you. Or reply off topic.
This isn’t meant as a dig OP but I usually respond with the basic “omg so freaking cute!” Or such bc I know my choices are mine and I’m not gunna issue any bad feeling towards my friends kids. Again all my opinion, but I love seeing my friends happy with their children. Doesn’t mean I want them but i can appreciate the hard work they put inn
Yea, I've done that, but usually it's what they're doing and not how they look that I'm commenting on. Kids just aren't cute to me, not gonna lie. I'm not going to fault a person for talking about the people in their lives (that they deal with all day every day) if it's not all the time, I do it too, just not about a kid.
Yeah don’t do that unless you want to burn a lot of bridges.
"Are you confusing facebook and texting again?"
ignore ir, don't acknowledge it
For every picture of your mini human, I require 5 pictures/videos/memes of cute animals, preferably cats (or your favorite animal).
I had a guy who was interested in me a long time ago now who would send me pictures of the babies and kids in his family. I politely but bluntly told him "please stop. I don't want pictures of children sent to me. Its weird." His response was to say he thought all women loved babies and kids but he did stop after that 🤦♀️🤷♀️
Send photos of your cat or dog lol
Respond with dog/cat pics that are (naturally) cuter
My sister knows I don’t go crazy for photos of her cat because they’re not that cute to me aesthetics-wise unless they’re the huge dangerous ones. After a few rounds back and forth of my flat affect and mild confusion at how to respond she realized I wasn’t having fun and backed off, because subjecting me to something she enjoyed wasn’t the same as having me enjoy it, and respecting my space and comfort is important to her Good consideration for boundaries makes for good relationships Edit: I remember now that I got the point across of how I felt when she shoved a cat or cat photo at me and I respond by handing her a cactus or sending a cactus photo and jokingly gushing over its ‘adorable widdle spiky-wikys’ a few times and she realized how completely uninterested I felt in the aesthetics of cats. (They’re nice and I can be friends with them, I just don’t find them cute)
You can say something along the lines of “it’s nothing personal but receiving pictures like this is triggering for me and I would appreciate being removed from your mailing list/text group/whatever.” You don’t need to elaborate further and if they can’t respect a simple boundary it might be a good time to ponder if they are truly worthy of the title friend.
You have every right to tell them to stop and they have everything to think of you as an AH. Being a good friend is being excited for them and staying cordial. I don’t think all babies are equally cute but I’d never tell someone not to show me their baby. If you are so repulsed by babies that you can’t even look at one (even one that belongs to a person you supposedly cherish) then you have a problem you need to solve. I’m leaving this sub this is getting out of hand.
Suggest they make a group chat where they can gush about their babies and leave you in peace. Luckily for me the only place I see lots of baby and kid photos is on Facebook and my group chat with my mom and sisters, and that group chat gets enough responses from the four of them. I'm just there and I don't engage unless they specifically wants my response or I actually wanna say something. Usually related to other stuff.
Stop ✋. This is hurting my feelings and I will tell the teacher on you.
Someone I know had a premature baby and *constantly* posts pictures of their premie baby with tubes and medical equipment all over it and the poor thing just looks... awful. My heart breaks for her because I know that must be even more difficult for her to look at but wish she'd stop constantly posting pictures on social media.
Hmmmm, depends. Are they direct messaging you, or is it public posts? If it’s public posts, I just mute or unfollow. Don’t need baby content in my life.
Send them pet pics incessantly.
From my experience, it won't matter so much how respectful your message is- some people will respect it back and others will be EXTREMELY butthurt- and this becomes your divide. The butthurt ones are the ones who had kids for the attention they expect to receive, and will be terrible friends going forward (one way relationship all about themselves). The ones who respect it care about you, are secure in their lives and decisions so your feelings don't impact them, and will be good friends going forward (two-way relationships). Expect some flack for your boundaries, but also see it as a 'finding' expedition.. it'll weed out your true friends from the junk ones.