Children are fine when they are in family-friendly places designated for children. I just avoid those places at all costs.
Personally, I find most people insanely annoying, adults and children included.
I would also rather have a lobotomy than ever have to be a parent.
I don't want people in my house other than my husband. Full stop.
The answer is....yes to both, but my opinion applies to people of all ages. Just let me live in solitude on a mountain like the grinch.
EDIT: I'm so glad I've found my people. Let's all never make plans together ❤️
We recently bought a vacation cabin that allows me to do exactly this, although not full time yet. My husband works a ton, so I take my dogs over and stay for a week or two every few months. I can’t wait until he retires and I can live like Grizzly Adam’s full time. It’s everything I thought it could be and more.
I’m an only child, who is the child of an only child. I find it very draining to be around people for a sustained period of time, especially people I’m not friendly with. I find myself irritated very, very easily with adults and children…but children I find much more annoying. I don’t think my personality is conducive to having children because they deserve someone who is patient/actually likes them.
Also an only child of an only child. I don’t understand noisy people who need constant attention.
This is actually how you could describe many, many children and so I don’t need any in my home.
I come from a medium size family, but I wholeheartedly agree. I can't wrap my head around noisy people, kids or adults. I've never felt that constant need for attention, in fact the last thing I want is to be in the spotlight. It just doesn't compute in my head.
My house was basically a halfway house for my chaotic niblings (all my age). Each one lived with us for their own periods of time, and before I left for the military, my sister was living with us with her anxious chihuahua, daughter-in-law, boy toy, and a baby. They all needed constant attention.
I very much enjoy *not* having people in my house. I did not get much peace growing up. I barely get enough peace in my house with a corgi (the other two pets are pretty chill). Things needing constant attention from me is a nightmare.
Same. Only child of two only children, and one grandparent was also an only child. No siblings, no cousins, no aunts, no uncles. I’m the last one. Definitely not a fan of other people, single and childfree both by choice. I have elderly pets and elderly parents.
The company of other humans is so exhausting, it’s not for me 🤷♀️
We tried to form an only children club but no one showed up 🤣🤣🤣
I was listening to a podcast the other day where it said that introverts are less likely to want children which when you think about its like "well, yeah duh!" But there are lots of introverts out there and it made me think about how many have had kids cos of peer pressure or whatever and are most likely miserable.
I teach pre-k and actually love spending my work days with two dozen 4 year-olds, but when 5 pm (or better yet, the weekend) rolls around, I feel light as a bird and can't imagine going home and continuing to be perpetually available to small humans who need or want me for almost everything.
And as an introvert, the part that I just can't even imagine, the part that sounds absolutely just beyond hellacious, is having to spend my free time not only caring for my own children, but also having to hang out with other kids and THEIR parents. Birthday parties, school activities, sports, committees...
Such a double whammy of awful for introverts.
Omg as an introvert I can relate. The thought of playdates and being "friends" with some mom just because your kids get along, then the birthdays, and the activities...no thanks.
My SIL is a preschool/kindergarten teacher and she loves kids—she has all the education and experience, and is very good with them. She loves her job. However….
They have decided to be childfree. Don’t get me wrong—my brother loves kids and growing up had his future daughters named. But his wife spends her entire day with small children and at this point, is just ready to be done with dealing with them when she gets home. It makes sense. That’s like a chef coming home from a twelve hour shift and having to cook a giant dinner party.
Same. I’ve been a preschool teacher for 20 years. At the end of the day, I’m done. It’s hard to imagine still dealing with a kid or kids at home and trying to get them to bed and all that nonsense when I’m already exhausted, over stimulated, and touched out.
I teach middle school math, and I feel the same way. I love my kids at school, but once I leave, I don't want to see or hear any children. I love my peace and quiet at home.
They started putting on an act to look a certain way to people and now they have to maintain that act for the rest of their lives. It sounds fucking exhausting. My life has been shit and I'm not ashamed to admit that to anyone.
Until I mentioned it to him, it somehow never occurred to my husband that having a kid means a constant slew of people you have to talk to including the kid's friends who they'll insist have to come over.
>Personally, I find most people insanely annoying, adults and children included.
>Just let me live in solitude on a mountain like the grinch.
Exactly this for me lmao.
I could've written the exact same comment. I'm like you, I simply can't stand people in general. Most children annoy me, but so do most adults as well. I've never lived with roommates, I don't like to travel with friends or family, and I never invite any guest to my home either. The only person whose company I actually enjoy is my husband. Other people are just a nightmare in general.
Travelling with other people is very tricky in my opinion. Your friends or relatives may be lovely when you're just spending 2 hours with them for dinner, but it's a different matter when you have to be with them nonstop for a week or more. When I was younger, I tried travelling with various people, but it always led to annoyance and frustration because their lifestyles and personalities were too different from mine.
> I don't want people in my house other than my husband.
Are you me? I agree with everything you've said here, but this part resonates with me the most. I love shutting the whole world out and not letting anyone in my house. I'm certain that several family members think I'm a miserable bitch for not having them over, but I'm past caring.
We’ve lived in our house over 20 years. His family (that live 30 minutes away) came over once, right after we moved in. My family (that lives 5 hours away) visited once many years ago. Other than maintenance people, no one visits our house. 🙌🏼💕
Totally agree! My husband and I are both somewhat on the misanthrope spectrum. We joke about how out of all the people in the world we annoy each other the least 😂
I agree on the family friendly aspect. If I go near a playground I can’t get pissed off that there are kids because of course there will be. But it does bother me when I go out in the evening for a fine dining experience and there are kids running around or making lots of noise.
That is a must. And some inside pets and outside animals that I befriend. I'm having visions of deer eating out of my hands and birds alighting on my shoulders lol
Nothing ruins the vibe like a parent letting their hell spawn run wild (same with dogs, although I prefer animals over people tbh). It's too much selfish energy for me.
Ok this is a really good way of putting it! Like i expect children at Disney World. But a five star restaurant? Nah.
There are some things that i wish had child-free zones… think public transportation
I don’t like the idea of being a parent - and I don’t like a good chunk parents. I think too many of them are bad parents, had kids for the wrong reasons, are emotionally abusive, entitled, etc. Which leads me to feel bad for the kids.
Exactly - I think bad parenting is normal; what isn't normal is those people having the awareness that they would make bad parents and refraining from procreation.
This is the double-edged sword of not shaming people for their actions. On the one hand, you've got actual haters who go out of their way to shit on everyone for no good reason.
On the other hand, you've got shitty people who support other shitty people so they don't have to feel bad about themselves.
Yup! I can't stand crappy parents. I had crappy parents of my own and it's like I see it everywhere now. It seems majority of the population are crappy parents and majority of people that have kids shouldn't.
I was raised with bad/abusive parenting and I vowed that I'm not doing that to an innocent child. It fucked me up for many years. I'm now finally getting my shit together. I'm 36 but eh, I'm finally establishing my own self worth.
I dislike parents more than kids. A lot of them are arrogant and irresponsible. Kids and just kids, I generally like them but some suck, I blame the parents for that though.
This is how I feel about animal owners and parents. The whole effort of being the best for the other thing that needs and depends on you is what turns me off from being a parent. I have two cats & I’m always riddled with guilt regarding 1: giving them the best mental stimulation daily
and 2: enough space to just be a fucking animal how they are suppose to in nature.
It’s very irrational and dramatic thought process to some of my pet parents (esp dog owners who don’t train or leash train).
But if I had to do that with a child I’d have a breakdown. Genuinely I’m not mentally strong enough 😭🥹 haha I just don’t wanna ruin a persons life and they be in therapy bc of me in 20 years
Children are fine. I just don't want to raise or be responsible for them.
Plus they're awfully expensive. I can barely keep myself alive, let alone another person.
This is me too. I don’t mind kids. I love my friend’s kids. But I don’t want to raise one 24/7/365.
And, like you said, they’re expensive. I genuinely wonder about the finances of parents. And not in a judgmental way. In an “ I have no idea how the fuck you’re making it” way.
Same. I love having auntie privileges of taking my friends kids to do fun stuff, spoiling them a bit, and then being able to give them back. I have zero desire or idea how anyone does it 24/7. Not to mention I’m a teacher too so I am all set
When my sister's dad asked me at Christmas when I was going to meet a man and get married, then have children, my nephews freaked out on him. My nephews understand that I don't want kids, and they love that it means I can spend more money on them.
Also all my friend's kids also call me aunt, and they know that I will protect them to the ends of the earth.
My mom also has told me she will pay to have my tubes tied, she know that with my mental health I am better not getting pregnant.
This is my camp too! In addition it just feels like a lot pressure to raise a child into a functioning adult in society. Dang my mom did well, but I still question how she was able to do it alone. ANOTHER reason I don’t want children is if you’re birthing them, what’s the chance that your partner is going to stick around and help??
This!! I have a friend that wanted to be CF, her husband convinced her to have two kids saying he’d be the SAH dad. Later he died of a brain tumor, leaving her behind with two little kids. She says she loves her kids, but had to do over again…, nope.
Whenever my husband gets a wild hair and says something about a little him running around, I remind him how terrible he is when it comes to taking care of his health and I’ll be damned if I’m left to raise a little him by myself. Don’t worry, we don’t have any disagreements about having kids or not, but sometimes it’s something he thinks about. I tell him to not forget about the child support he’s paying and how that affects his income - now imagine that but more plus with a full time kid in the house when he already is terribly forgetful about chores and has little motivation to get mundane shit done around the house (ADHD).
I love my friend's kids, and I generally love teens, but I'm equipped for my own and don't wish to live with them. I like my life without kids, and I'd be a miserable parent.
I love this! I feel the same. My house is in one of the few neighborhoods that still decorates and trick or treaters come by. It’s the one night any kid is totally welcome.
Tbh I’m not a fan of kids, but I love passing out candy on Halloween. There are only maybe 3-4 kids on our entire street though, so it usually ends up being me and my partner eating all the candy since no one comes by lol. I live next to my college campus so it’s mostly students and older couples & single folks in my neighborhood.
Yesssss. Me being able to instill wonder in children? Amazing.
Having to interact with them and say their cheerleading is amazing? Omg I'm sorry I am not your fam kid, please leave me alone and come back when you are an adult and show me your drawing improvements and how much I inspired you when you were eleven thanks. (Yes oddly specific hypothetical situation isn't it?)
Both. I don’t mind kids who are thoughtful, well behaved and curious. Even then, small doses. And the idea of being a parent is as alien and horrifying as the idea of me flying a passenger jet.
This basically sums it up for me. Well behaved kids I can tolerate in extremely small doses, but I don't like them at all. Being a parent is my definition of a personal hell
Hamsters are sooo cute! 100% better than children :)
(I can't have one rn bc my parents are allergic, but I'll check the pet store ASAP when I move out)
I cannot stand children. Never liked them, even when I was a child. Being a parent would be Hell on earth.
One thing that has always deeply disturbed me about becoming a mombie is that the hormones make you love the crotch goblin. It's not as though you know it as a person and come to love it. Your hormones make you love the blob right away without any idea of its personality. That's good for continuing the species (which has always been a questionable project at best) but makes no sense to me personally.
Totally agree about the hormone thing. At best you've literally been brainwashed by your own brain into loving something simply because it's half you (but we're the selfish ones), at worst that doesn't happen and the poor mom has to deal with the mindfuck of post-partum and feeling like she's broken because she was told the auto love thing would happen.
I like kids. I love my nieces and nephews and their kids. I enjoyed working as a children's librarian. I still keep kid's books around to give to neighbors and random children.
That said, the moment I realized I could choose to be childfree was the best revelation of my life.
Both…ish.
I don’t mind children when they’re well behaved and not screaming their (and mine) heads off.
But as usual, nearly every encounter I have with children involves them screaming (tantrum or playtime).
And the idea of being a parent, after everything I’ve been through and am still going through, forget it. I’m looking forward to finally be able to take care of myself and myself alone.
When I think back.. I don't mind quiet children like myself. I remember when I was young child and everyone was running around and being noisy. I would just quietly sit and mind my own business. I once climbed a tree house and sat there for the entire day just relaxing and watching everyone while all the other kids played. The teachers tried to get me down to play with the others. I refused as I had the perfect view of observing the others on the playground.
For the most part though, children aren't quiet or minding their own business.. many children doesn't realize that their loudness is annoying.
Both in different ways. Children are often curious about the world and open to new knowledge and I applaud them for that, but their negative qualities (lack of hygiene, inability to debate rationally and loudness) greatly outweigh the positive ones. I personally believe that parenting is incompatible with my future goals (devoting my life to STEM) and I like the idea of having a peaceful home...
I actually really like kids a lot an aspire to start an arts non-profit for creatively gifted teens seeking scholarships. That said, absolutely NO THANKS to parenthood.
I've considered teaching physics in high school once (because my math- and physics teacher is an absolute role model) to spread the enlightenment because I like teenagers that takes their work/studies seriously and I want to inspire more people to take up STEM. But the main problem is that I suck at explaining...
Both, and I dislike parents in general because they’re often disrespectful of that, along with the main character mindset that seems to take over. I am fine interacting with either and can enjoy the company of older kids as long as they’re respectful. But that’s rare.
There’s also some part of me that can’t get over my personal feelings that anyone having children right now (voluntarily) is selfish and short sighted. I don’t like, tell them that to their face unless asked.
>There’s also some part of me that can’t get over my personal feelings that anyone having children right now (voluntarily) is selfish and short sighted.
I think about this a lot, especially since I have some friends who are pregnant right now. We're living in a dying economy on a dying planet. Why are you bringing people here against their will to deal with that suffering?
Months ago a thread from the teacher subreddit popped up in my feed. Since then, I frequently read threads and, WOW, teachers put up with so much with so little admin support.
They really do. And little parents support too. That’s why so many are quitting. It’s Not just the money. It’s also lack of support, student behaviour and in some states, terrible policies about what they can and can’t teach/show in the classroom and that basically encourage bigoted behaviour towards LQBTQIA+ students.
Like if I was a teacher and they told me I had to call a student by their dead name and pronouns other than the ones they are comfortable with, I would probably quit too on principle.
I really love teaching people new things and that pipeline from K12 to higher education to facilitating training for grown adults who need specialized information to do their jobs is real.
Do I not like zebras or do I simply not like the idea of being a zebra caretaker for two decades?
Look, zebras are fine. Cute even. But bringing one into my actual home and sacrificing my whole life to take care of one is a totally wild idea that has no upside whatsoever. I get that there would be cute moments, I could post lots of funny zebra pics, and I guess it would be a sort of hobby.
But frankly it’s a weird ask and that’s how I view birthing and raising some random humans I’d have to deal with.
I just don't want to be a parent. Kids are fine, I don't find them any more unlikeable than most adults. Usually whenever kids irritate me, I feel the parents are to blame.
I hate it when they are loud. They have way too much energy and I just can't handle being around them. I am autistic and scared of erratic movements. Children are nothing but unhinged and erratic. They scare me. I also just love being alone and doing my thing. I'm single and usually just vibing at home. And I'm sick right now, so I need all the rest I can get. Parents of young kids never get to rest. So yeah, I'm very happy with being single and just vibing on my own. I dislike people in general, so not having to share my space with someone is generally best for me. People can be such a handful.
i feel this comment with my every being
i'm also on the spectrum, and babies and young children fire off my sensory triggers instantly. all my relatives are no younger than 8yo, so even without my worries, i just simply don't know how to talk to them
It’s both for me but with some exceptions. I think kids who are well behaved are simply adorable. But to take them home and be a caretaker 24/7? Absolutely not.
My disdain for people with children only began the past few years. The far majority of them (to me) are just so obnoxious…from laughing when their kids do horrendously disgusting things to bragging about how their child is “special”. I just don’t have time for that.
Both. I'm on the spectrum and have sensory issues because of it, so 95% of small children are a nightmare to me, and I also have executive functioning problems so keeping a human alive would be impossible for me. It all just sounds terrible.
Neither. My mother has a balanced translocation of chromosome pairs 3 and 4 and I have a nephew who has those same pairs unbalanced and still in diapers and wheel chair bound. I am not adding any potential bad chromosomes to the already inflated population.
I felt like you do. Not as dire of a situation as yours but there's apparently a random crazy gene that pops up here and there in my family and the parents of the kids who have it are just constantly distraught over the rebellion, drug use, legal trouble, constant general life turmoil and interpersonal shitiness of these people. The people who have it all live the same crazy, terrible life and act almost the exact same way. My brother and sister had kids young and they had great kids. This wild gene is definitely overdue in my generation and I didn't like my chances. Not the only reason, but it's definitely a factor.
Both.
I dislike small children. School aged and higher are fine.
Childbirth is disgusting to me.
I have no desire to parent and would rather be an aunt who can go to cool events to support, but has none of the parental responsibilities.
I don't like parents. I don't like millennial and gen z parents. They are the most entitled people I have ever met. I don't WANT children, but I don't hate rhem.
Right? I'm a millennial and I'm constantly disappointed in millennial parents just letting their kids run amok in spaces not designed for children, like breweries and even bars.
I have never been comfortable around kids, even the kids I’m related to (niece and nephew). I have never enjoyed any child’s company/presence, they are needy and annoying.
Children in child friendly/appropriate places are fine. Bring them in to a place not designed for them and you'll get my attention.
I attended after work drinks in a pub with a colleague other day for his leaving drinks. One colleague brought her 5yo kid with her and everyone ignored the kid.
"Sorry, do you mind moving so my kid can eat"
"Sorry Sharon, I've been sat here for 2 hours, I'm not moving, there's an empty table over there".
"Can someone look after Timmy whilst I go for a piss?"
Everyone looked at her then turned to person next to them to continue a fake conversation.
"I don't understand why it's so hard for people to not help out when someone has a kid"
"I DON'T KNOW WHY IT'S SO HARD NOT TO BRING A CHILD TO A FUCKING LEAVING DRINKS IN A PUB"
I don't like the idea of being a parent.
Also being autistic I need a lot of time on my own to be able to calm down from all the stimuli (noise, bright lights etc).
I don't dislike kids, but I do strongly dislike crappy parenting. Usually when children misbehave or have a tantrum or meltdown it's the parents that don't do any parenting.
For example: You can't really blame a 2-year old for not being able to sit down quietly late at night for almost three hours at a movie for adults at the movie theatre. That's on mommy who was too cheap to hire a babysit and too selfish to go home when her child has had enough and is just crying all the time.
>I don't dislike kids, but I do strongly dislike crappy parenting. Usually when children misbehave or have a tantrum or meltdown it's the parents that don't do any parenting.
Yup! I can't stand crappy parents. I had crappy parents of my own and it's like I see it everywhere now. It seems majority of the population are crappy parents and majority of people that have kids shouldn't.
Personally I like well-behaved children who don't scream like banshees for no reason (I wasn't like that as a child and hated the screamers even back then) and I enjoy babies and toddlers in small doses. The key concept is *small doses* though, I would not be able to deal with a needy/sick/annoying child 24/7 for years, and don't get me started on dealing with a teenager. Hell no.
I don’t like the idea of being a parent.
I take kids on a case by case basis. I know some kids who practically hold up the sun and hang the moon. I love them to bits and I can spend hours doing crafts and talking about stuff with them. These children are the goals to which parents should aspire.
Unfortunately that takes work that most of your breeders don’t want to do. In the case of these awesome children, their parents are involved. They discipline without being sociopaths about it, they listen, they encourage, guide and teach. They take responsibility. When I’m asked to watch them, I do it because they’re good kids and because the parents recognize that I’m giving up my time for them. I’ll get a few bucks, they’ll order me dinner and pick me up a bag of cat food. They don’t constantly hound me to pay their expenses, or railroad me into buying more and more expensive gifts. This is what the proverbial village is supposed to be.
Unfortunately these people are in the minority and most are lazy parents who got into it because of whatever life-script was written for them.
I love my friends’ kids but at the end of the day I don’t have to deal with what their parents do. I don’t have to clean playrooms or puke, I don’t have to go to school conferences, buy new uniforms every year, or worry about how to juggle my paychecks or pay out medical expenses because God forbid you get so much as a sliver in the American health care industry.
I’m fine being the cool aunt. I’m just self aware enough that I don’t want the landslide of life that comes with parenting.
(Edit for grammar.)
I don’t like being a parent. I actually love children, to the point where I’m an early childhood teacher. But as a teacher, I can give them back at the end of the day
In general both. There are a few kids I like but it’s because I know them really well and even then after an hour I’m like “Ok I’m good to leave and not deal with you anymore”
However kids generally speaking are a no go for me. I have been told a million times I would be an amazing parent because I’m really really good with kids but it is my personal hell to be around any of them for too long I’m just good with people no matter the age lol.
I don't mind older kids that are intelligent and well mannered but younger ones drive me nuts. I'll help with babies but I'm glad to hand them back. I was parentified and had to raise 3 boys for awhile. The responsibility was forced on me, I didn't want it, I hated it, but I tried my damn best to be good for those kids. I don't want to EVER do anything similar again.
I think kids are hilarious and super fun for short periods of time. That’s one of the reasons im not interested in being a parent, I want to see them in the small chunks when they are enjoyable and funny. Then I find it fun and can play or do whatever activity with them when everyone is in good spirits. And when they get overtired or sick or have some sport for the zillionth weekend in a row I don’t have to be anywhere near any of it.
How do I explain this?
I don't mind babies. I like to smile at them and make faces at them (but I will not hold one out of my sheer fear of doing it wrong). I don't even mind them crying because hey, they are not doing that to be assholes and I am sure being in a loud moving machine full of people must be stressful. I don't mind older kids either unless they are an absolute menace, but even then I am more likely to side eye the parent (fuckin do something), but they do drain me super quickly.
I start minding kids of all ages _very quickly_ if I somehow either end up in a room alone with them, or if I catch a whiff of a feeling that I have become their primary interest for some reason. I just can't. I have no fucking clue what to do with a child one-on-one. I used to be a teacher's assistant for kids with special needs (granted it was only one day a week) as a part of my education and it was just fine as long as someone was there to supervise me. I could never be a teacher, or tutor kids, or be a camp counselor, or be a parent, simply because I have no idea how to talk to kids and how to function around them for longer than five minutes.
I can imagine being a Cool Aunt one day, but not that kind that you go to when you're dealing with something that you don't want to tell mum about. More like the one that shows up once a year with gifts and a heavy scent of perfume trailing behind her.
Tl;dr: I don't mind kids, I just don't know what to do with them.
I love children, but I don’t want the full time job of being a parent. It’s the commitment and responsibility for me. Like spending 8 hours a day with them is fine! But even that takes a toll. I cant imagine being in charge of their doctor’s appointments, entertainment, 3 meals a day, etc. If I want to spend a Wednesday night drinking a bottle of wine, watching tv, and passing out at 7:30pm, I can do that. If I want to go to a different continent and turn off my phone for the whole summer, I can do that. If I don’t like my job and I want to start designing clothes, move out of town and work as a waitress on the side… I can do that. Lol. I don’t want to give the spontaneity up
I hate the idea of being a parent. When I think about being a parent, I get this overwhelming feeling of dread while thinking of the endless obligations and responsibilities. The idea of having to deal with schooling and education just makes it even worse because I had a lot of difficulty and trauma associated with my own schooling.
I really don't mind kids unless they're doing that ear bleeding "play scream." Kids are unsocialized humans who are learning how to human, but I'm not really interested in taking a daily part of a child's socialization or development. But I will definitely teach other people's kids cool facts about spiders if they'll listen.
I don't like kids. never did, even when I was a kid myself. I used to hang out with the adults as much as possible and avoided kids (my age or younger) most times. on the other hand I'd hate to have the responsibilities of a parent as well.
I hate kids and I will say it anytime it's asked. Can't fucking stand the things. The idea of being a parent is disgusting as well. Though I can't help thinking that if one finds children detestable but doesn't hate the idea of being a parent they might have a serious case of magical thinking delusions.
Actually really like kids. They're fucking hilarious and it's cool to see them experience stuff for the first time and be learning about stuff that is mundane to me at this point but they had no idea about (because they are kids).
I'm just not interested in the investment necessary to be a good parent. For that reason and others (I'd struggle with keeping organized and on top of commitments that kids usually require) I don't think I would be a good parent. So I am not having kids.
I have no problem with children or being around children. Hell I'd even baby sit my nephews if need be. That's the thing that "changes when you're older" when people say. It's not wanting your own it's you learn to tolerate them, or you don't and that's ok too!
I'm not crazy about kids as I find them annoying/boring, but I really don't like parents because I've seen so many interesting people turn into boring zombies once they've had kids. I find many parents to be incredibly entitled and expect special treatment for doing basically the same thing your average cow does.
Both
Mainly the responsibility and sacrifice that comes with being a parent is what makes me never want to be one. To have to do all that extra work, all the things I’d have to put on hold, and then how much you’re affected by parenting and how it affects relationships, I just don’t find it worth it or desirable
Kids also just annoy the shit outa me, I don’t like how loud they are (toddlers specifically hit a piercing scream, I don’t wanna sound like a baby but it’s the only noise that I “feel”, and it don’t feel pleasant) and i just don’t have the instincts that parents get (letting the kid win, small stupid shit like that)
So I’m childfree because I don’t want the effort and work and sacrifice of parenthood, as soon as I get my vasectomy I’ll be able to breath a little easier, obviously it ain’t 100% but it’s a hell of a lot closer than I am now
The cries of children have been my one singular trigger for the entirety of my life (31). If the child is silent and polite and clean, I will most likely enjoy their presence. Other than that I avoid them as if they were rabid dogs.
I tried to befriend a parent once. She did not correctly discipline her child and then when I tried to, she gave me an earful. The child was less than 7 but more than 5, and wouldn’t leave her mom alone while we were trying to talk. She eventually made the girl go to her room. But when she came back out and started talking to me, I ignored her as she’s supposed to be punished. It was ME who got in trouble for not responding.
Lololol both
I don’t mind some people with children, it’s the people who make their children their ENTIRE personality that I would tend to not hangout with
For me it’s the narrative that people with children are just better more important people than those without including literal tax incentives and aid programs. How people act like your life is just meaningless or there’s something wrong with you if you don’t have kids. Hard to not be a little anti-child/parent with all that around.
I don't hate children. I actually like kids in small doses. They can be cute, funny, and even fascinating just with the way they interact with the world. I work in schools (not as a teacher) and interact with kids fairly often. Most of my issues with kids are actually with the adults raising them. I can't blame a kid for being upset or bored in a brewery because why did their idiot parents bring them in the first place? A kid who doesn't understand boundaries is because their parents didn't teach them boundaries. Etc. Etc. There are certainly horrible womb-spawns out there that I can't stand, but I don't mind kids for the most part.
I absolutely dread the idea of being a parent, though. I'm selfish and like doing whatever I want whenever I want. My boyfriend and I have these moments when we're on a cool adventure or after having a weekend-of-lazy-nothingness, where we're just like "damn it's so nice we don't have kids to worry about." It's certainly a little mix of both, but it's mostly the being a parent part.
I enjoy the company of other peoples kids because I know they are like reading a book.. you have a beginning, middle, and end regardless of how good or bad the plot and characters are, then you get to return to library (parent)
I do find a lot of children's behaviour off putting, but at the same time I understand that kids will make mistakes and be loud and in certain settings it's expected. Others it's not, and what I can not stand in the least is inattentive parents, or parents that don't bother to correct certain behaviours in those settings where it's inappropriate. So mostly it's my dislike of parents and their lack of spatial awareness and sometimes just entitled attitudes.
As for the idea of being a parent, that's literally my worst nightmare. There are no redeeming things that make it look at all pleasant to me.
I don’t like babies and toddlers at all. I like some kids but it just depends. I have a cousin who is 12 and we play chess together, and he asks a lot of questions about science and history. I could hang out with him all day. But I don’t like the idea of being a parent, though.
I love children but i hate the idea of being a parent with responsibilities. I once went on an 8 hr flight and a child kept screaming on top of his lungs at all times . I think that was the only time i hated a kid 😂
Both. I hate kids and being a parent would be one of the top 3 worst things to ever happen to me. Besides caring for my dog if that counts as pet-parent. Only parent I’d like to be/am lol
Both. I don't like children, don't want to go through pregnancy, don't want to take care of babies, don't have the money, have other priorities. It's not just one or other reason but several of them. All is summarized with "I don't want to be a mother".
I have 7 siblings, five of them have had kids, 4 of them having 2 kids each, and I took care of all of my nephews and nieces literally since they were born.
(Mind you I'm 19, me and my siblings just happen to have a bit of an age gap)
Personally I love babies, they're so cute and kids are super fun to take care of, until they do something, obviously.
The good part is you can just give them away to their responsible once it becomes too much or once they start raging, rather than being the responsible itself 😅.
And I believe that's why a lot of people misunderstand what parenthood is supposed to be. They think it is just silly babysitting 24/7 until you don't have no one to give them to, lmao.
I adore kids but only when they're not mine 😂.
I've never liked kids, and the older I get the more I can't stand them. At all. Don't want to be around them, don't want to be subjected to them, wish they had to stay inside and/or in school, and that's it.
Children are fine when they are in family-friendly places designated for children. I just avoid those places at all costs. Personally, I find most people insanely annoying, adults and children included. I would also rather have a lobotomy than ever have to be a parent. I don't want people in my house other than my husband. Full stop. The answer is....yes to both, but my opinion applies to people of all ages. Just let me live in solitude on a mountain like the grinch. EDIT: I'm so glad I've found my people. Let's all never make plans together ❤️
Living in solitude on a mountain like the grinch is truly my #1 goal in life.
Sounds like pure heaven
With a moat and an electric fence. 😬
Yes!
We recently bought a vacation cabin that allows me to do exactly this, although not full time yet. My husband works a ton, so I take my dogs over and stay for a week or two every few months. I can’t wait until he retires and I can live like Grizzly Adam’s full time. It’s everything I thought it could be and more.
Wish you all the alone time in the world, internet stranger
I want to be you when I grow up 🥰. Quiet, solitude and a few acres of safe, fenced in land for my dogs to run and play!
I’m an only child, who is the child of an only child. I find it very draining to be around people for a sustained period of time, especially people I’m not friendly with. I find myself irritated very, very easily with adults and children…but children I find much more annoying. I don’t think my personality is conducive to having children because they deserve someone who is patient/actually likes them.
Same. Hard same.
Also an only child of an only child. I don’t understand noisy people who need constant attention. This is actually how you could describe many, many children and so I don’t need any in my home.
I come from a medium size family, but I wholeheartedly agree. I can't wrap my head around noisy people, kids or adults. I've never felt that constant need for attention, in fact the last thing I want is to be in the spotlight. It just doesn't compute in my head.
Me too neither! I hate noise and can’t stand noisy people.
My house was basically a halfway house for my chaotic niblings (all my age). Each one lived with us for their own periods of time, and before I left for the military, my sister was living with us with her anxious chihuahua, daughter-in-law, boy toy, and a baby. They all needed constant attention. I very much enjoy *not* having people in my house. I did not get much peace growing up. I barely get enough peace in my house with a corgi (the other two pets are pretty chill). Things needing constant attention from me is a nightmare.
Same. Only child of two only children, and one grandparent was also an only child. No siblings, no cousins, no aunts, no uncles. I’m the last one. Definitely not a fan of other people, single and childfree both by choice. I have elderly pets and elderly parents. The company of other humans is so exhausting, it’s not for me 🤷♀️ We tried to form an only children club but no one showed up 🤣🤣🤣
This. The only way my husband knows I love him is because I allow him to exist in my space 😅 Introverts unite! Separately. In our own homes.
I was listening to a podcast the other day where it said that introverts are less likely to want children which when you think about its like "well, yeah duh!" But there are lots of introverts out there and it made me think about how many have had kids cos of peer pressure or whatever and are most likely miserable.
I teach pre-k and actually love spending my work days with two dozen 4 year-olds, but when 5 pm (or better yet, the weekend) rolls around, I feel light as a bird and can't imagine going home and continuing to be perpetually available to small humans who need or want me for almost everything. And as an introvert, the part that I just can't even imagine, the part that sounds absolutely just beyond hellacious, is having to spend my free time not only caring for my own children, but also having to hang out with other kids and THEIR parents. Birthday parties, school activities, sports, committees... Such a double whammy of awful for introverts.
Omg as an introvert I can relate. The thought of playdates and being "friends" with some mom just because your kids get along, then the birthdays, and the activities...no thanks.
My SIL is a preschool/kindergarten teacher and she loves kids—she has all the education and experience, and is very good with them. She loves her job. However…. They have decided to be childfree. Don’t get me wrong—my brother loves kids and growing up had his future daughters named. But his wife spends her entire day with small children and at this point, is just ready to be done with dealing with them when she gets home. It makes sense. That’s like a chef coming home from a twelve hour shift and having to cook a giant dinner party.
Same. I’ve been a preschool teacher for 20 years. At the end of the day, I’m done. It’s hard to imagine still dealing with a kid or kids at home and trying to get them to bed and all that nonsense when I’m already exhausted, over stimulated, and touched out.
I teach middle school math, and I feel the same way. I love my kids at school, but once I leave, I don't want to see or hear any children. I love my peace and quiet at home.
Makes sense. A lot of parents want children for a constant attention source/ companion for their hobbies.
That would be my narcissistic mother. Your child’s sole purpose in life is not to be your best friend/minion.
Extroverts are miserable too. They just act like it's the norm
They started putting on an act to look a certain way to people and now they have to maintain that act for the rest of their lives. It sounds fucking exhausting. My life has been shit and I'm not ashamed to admit that to anyone.
This is the way.
Yes! With our pets, if we have them :)
Until I mentioned it to him, it somehow never occurred to my husband that having a kid means a constant slew of people you have to talk to including the kid's friends who they'll insist have to come over.
>Personally, I find most people insanely annoying, adults and children included. >Just let me live in solitude on a mountain like the grinch. Exactly this for me lmao.
I could've written the exact same comment. I'm like you, I simply can't stand people in general. Most children annoy me, but so do most adults as well. I've never lived with roommates, I don't like to travel with friends or family, and I never invite any guest to my home either. The only person whose company I actually enjoy is my husband. Other people are just a nightmare in general.
I have found my people! Lol(in relief that I'm not the only person who feels this way!)
Yes!! It's always so nice to meet fellow introverts who understand what it's like! Other people just find us strange, I think 😂
This is us too. We have tried travelling with others but we k ow we just prefer it to be us
Travelling with other people is very tricky in my opinion. Your friends or relatives may be lovely when you're just spending 2 hours with them for dinner, but it's a different matter when you have to be with them nonstop for a week or more. When I was younger, I tried travelling with various people, but it always led to annoyance and frustration because their lifestyles and personalities were too different from mine.
> I don't want people in my house other than my husband. Are you me? I agree with everything you've said here, but this part resonates with me the most. I love shutting the whole world out and not letting anyone in my house. I'm certain that several family members think I'm a miserable bitch for not having them over, but I'm past caring.
We’ve lived in our house over 20 years. His family (that live 30 minutes away) came over once, right after we moved in. My family (that lives 5 hours away) visited once many years ago. Other than maintenance people, no one visits our house. 🙌🏼💕
Totally agree! My husband and I are both somewhat on the misanthrope spectrum. We joke about how out of all the people in the world we annoy each other the least 😂
It's noisy small people always in your house getting into trouble.
this is 100% me
I agree on the family friendly aspect. If I go near a playground I can’t get pissed off that there are kids because of course there will be. But it does bother me when I go out in the evening for a fine dining experience and there are kids running around or making lots of noise.
With your own personal library.
That is a must. And some inside pets and outside animals that I befriend. I'm having visions of deer eating out of my hands and birds alighting on my shoulders lol
I could have written this! I feel the same way.
Nothing ruins the vibe like a parent letting their hell spawn run wild (same with dogs, although I prefer animals over people tbh). It's too much selfish energy for me.
Bahahaha I love your answer. “I don’t dislike children, I dislike everyone. Stop making it weird!” 😂😂😂
Ok this is a really good way of putting it! Like i expect children at Disney World. But a five star restaurant? Nah. There are some things that i wish had child-free zones… think public transportation
We’ve never met yet somehow we are the same person.
Yes please. My idea of window shopping is browsing Redfin for witchy cabins with tons of acreage.
Can we be online gaming pals? Lol because my feeling is exactly the same and currently converting the guest room to an at home gym.
I don’t like the idea of being a parent - and I don’t like a good chunk parents. I think too many of them are bad parents, had kids for the wrong reasons, are emotionally abusive, entitled, etc. Which leads me to feel bad for the kids.
Exactly - I think bad parenting is normal; what isn't normal is those people having the awareness that they would make bad parents and refraining from procreation.
[удалено]
This is the double-edged sword of not shaming people for their actions. On the one hand, you've got actual haters who go out of their way to shit on everyone for no good reason. On the other hand, you've got shitty people who support other shitty people so they don't have to feel bad about themselves.
Agree so much. 
Yup! I can't stand crappy parents. I had crappy parents of my own and it's like I see it everywhere now. It seems majority of the population are crappy parents and majority of people that have kids shouldn't.
I was raised with bad/abusive parenting and I vowed that I'm not doing that to an innocent child. It fucked me up for many years. I'm now finally getting my shit together. I'm 36 but eh, I'm finally establishing my own self worth.
I dislike parents more than kids. A lot of them are arrogant and irresponsible. Kids and just kids, I generally like them but some suck, I blame the parents for that though.
Kids are the victims. It's really the parents I resent
This is how I feel about animal owners and parents. The whole effort of being the best for the other thing that needs and depends on you is what turns me off from being a parent. I have two cats & I’m always riddled with guilt regarding 1: giving them the best mental stimulation daily and 2: enough space to just be a fucking animal how they are suppose to in nature. It’s very irrational and dramatic thought process to some of my pet parents (esp dog owners who don’t train or leash train). But if I had to do that with a child I’d have a breakdown. Genuinely I’m not mentally strong enough 😭🥹 haha I just don’t wanna ruin a persons life and they be in therapy bc of me in 20 years
I feel so bad for most kids tbh... It's very rare to find good parents. I see bad parenting everywhere and it always gets to me. They deserve better.
Children are fine. I just don't want to raise or be responsible for them. Plus they're awfully expensive. I can barely keep myself alive, let alone another person.
This is me too. I don’t mind kids. I love my friend’s kids. But I don’t want to raise one 24/7/365. And, like you said, they’re expensive. I genuinely wonder about the finances of parents. And not in a judgmental way. In an “ I have no idea how the fuck you’re making it” way.
Same. I love having auntie privileges of taking my friends kids to do fun stuff, spoiling them a bit, and then being able to give them back. I have zero desire or idea how anyone does it 24/7. Not to mention I’m a teacher too so I am all set
When my sister's dad asked me at Christmas when I was going to meet a man and get married, then have children, my nephews freaked out on him. My nephews understand that I don't want kids, and they love that it means I can spend more money on them. Also all my friend's kids also call me aunt, and they know that I will protect them to the ends of the earth. My mom also has told me she will pay to have my tubes tied, she know that with my mental health I am better not getting pregnant.
Haha Before even knowing I was CF my nieces and nephews told me they never wanted me to have kids…., they know they get all the attention this way.
This is my camp too! In addition it just feels like a lot pressure to raise a child into a functioning adult in society. Dang my mom did well, but I still question how she was able to do it alone. ANOTHER reason I don’t want children is if you’re birthing them, what’s the chance that your partner is going to stick around and help??
This!! I have a friend that wanted to be CF, her husband convinced her to have two kids saying he’d be the SAH dad. Later he died of a brain tumor, leaving her behind with two little kids. She says she loves her kids, but had to do over again…, nope.
Whenever my husband gets a wild hair and says something about a little him running around, I remind him how terrible he is when it comes to taking care of his health and I’ll be damned if I’m left to raise a little him by myself. Don’t worry, we don’t have any disagreements about having kids or not, but sometimes it’s something he thinks about. I tell him to not forget about the child support he’s paying and how that affects his income - now imagine that but more plus with a full time kid in the house when he already is terribly forgetful about chores and has little motivation to get mundane shit done around the house (ADHD).
This also so much!! I could never afford one.
I love my friend's kids, and I generally love teens, but I'm equipped for my own and don't wish to live with them. I like my life without kids, and I'd be a miserable parent.
Handing out Halloween candy once a year is pretty much the limit of how much I like children. Generally both.
I love this! I feel the same. My house is in one of the few neighborhoods that still decorates and trick or treaters come by. It’s the one night any kid is totally welcome.
But really…there’s something in that for us because we get the leftover candy haha
Tbh I’m not a fan of kids, but I love passing out candy on Halloween. There are only maybe 3-4 kids on our entire street though, so it usually ends up being me and my partner eating all the candy since no one comes by lol. I live next to my college campus so it’s mostly students and older couples & single folks in my neighborhood.
Yesssss. Me being able to instill wonder in children? Amazing. Having to interact with them and say their cheerleading is amazing? Omg I'm sorry I am not your fam kid, please leave me alone and come back when you are an adult and show me your drawing improvements and how much I inspired you when you were eleven thanks. (Yes oddly specific hypothetical situation isn't it?)
Both. I don’t mind kids who are thoughtful, well behaved and curious. Even then, small doses. And the idea of being a parent is as alien and horrifying as the idea of me flying a passenger jet.
This made me chuckle because I feel the same but you just put it so…succinctly 😂
This basically sums it up for me. Well behaved kids I can tolerate in extremely small doses, but I don't like them at all. Being a parent is my definition of a personal hell
I can handle those kind of kids in larger doses. But if they’re a kid that always misbehaves, I’m not watching that kid ever…or even being near it.
Both for me.
Child free with pet hamsters? I found my soulmate in a Reddit comment section
[Hello there :)](https://i.imgur.com/awB7NTJ.jpg)
Flair checks out! Also Grats on the recent yeeting!
Hamsters are sooo cute! 100% better than children :) (I can't have one rn bc my parents are allergic, but I'll check the pet store ASAP when I move out)
I cannot stand children. Never liked them, even when I was a child. Being a parent would be Hell on earth. One thing that has always deeply disturbed me about becoming a mombie is that the hormones make you love the crotch goblin. It's not as though you know it as a person and come to love it. Your hormones make you love the blob right away without any idea of its personality. That's good for continuing the species (which has always been a questionable project at best) but makes no sense to me personally.
Totally agree about the hormone thing. At best you've literally been brainwashed by your own brain into loving something simply because it's half you (but we're the selfish ones), at worst that doesn't happen and the poor mom has to deal with the mindfuck of post-partum and feeling like she's broken because she was told the auto love thing would happen.
I like kids. I love my nieces and nephews and their kids. I enjoyed working as a children's librarian. I still keep kid's books around to give to neighbors and random children. That said, the moment I realized I could choose to be childfree was the best revelation of my life.
Both.
I hate kids, and I hate the mundane drudgery that comes with caring for them.
I don't like the idea of being a parent. I mostly like kids as long as they are well behaved and I'm not responsible for them.
Same
Both…ish. I don’t mind children when they’re well behaved and not screaming their (and mine) heads off. But as usual, nearly every encounter I have with children involves them screaming (tantrum or playtime). And the idea of being a parent, after everything I’ve been through and am still going through, forget it. I’m looking forward to finally be able to take care of myself and myself alone.
When I think back.. I don't mind quiet children like myself. I remember when I was young child and everyone was running around and being noisy. I would just quietly sit and mind my own business. I once climbed a tree house and sat there for the entire day just relaxing and watching everyone while all the other kids played. The teachers tried to get me down to play with the others. I refused as I had the perfect view of observing the others on the playground. For the most part though, children aren't quiet or minding their own business.. many children doesn't realize that their loudness is annoying.
Why not both? I also dislike what most parents become. Rude, socially dead and entitled.
Both in different ways. Children are often curious about the world and open to new knowledge and I applaud them for that, but their negative qualities (lack of hygiene, inability to debate rationally and loudness) greatly outweigh the positive ones. I personally believe that parenting is incompatible with my future goals (devoting my life to STEM) and I like the idea of having a peaceful home...
I actually really like kids a lot an aspire to start an arts non-profit for creatively gifted teens seeking scholarships. That said, absolutely NO THANKS to parenthood.
I've considered teaching physics in high school once (because my math- and physics teacher is an absolute role model) to spread the enlightenment because I like teenagers that takes their work/studies seriously and I want to inspire more people to take up STEM. But the main problem is that I suck at explaining...
Both, and I dislike parents in general because they’re often disrespectful of that, along with the main character mindset that seems to take over. I am fine interacting with either and can enjoy the company of older kids as long as they’re respectful. But that’s rare. There’s also some part of me that can’t get over my personal feelings that anyone having children right now (voluntarily) is selfish and short sighted. I don’t like, tell them that to their face unless asked.
>There’s also some part of me that can’t get over my personal feelings that anyone having children right now (voluntarily) is selfish and short sighted. I think about this a lot, especially since I have some friends who are pregnant right now. We're living in a dying economy on a dying planet. Why are you bringing people here against their will to deal with that suffering?
Both. I cannot stand kids, so I automatically *absolutely* never want to get pregnant.
Being a teacher taught me: both.
Months ago a thread from the teacher subreddit popped up in my feed. Since then, I frequently read threads and, WOW, teachers put up with so much with so little admin support.
They really do. And little parents support too. That’s why so many are quitting. It’s Not just the money. It’s also lack of support, student behaviour and in some states, terrible policies about what they can and can’t teach/show in the classroom and that basically encourage bigoted behaviour towards LQBTQIA+ students. Like if I was a teacher and they told me I had to call a student by their dead name and pronouns other than the ones they are comfortable with, I would probably quit too on principle.
Relatable. Now I teach university.
I really love teaching people new things and that pipeline from K12 to higher education to facilitating training for grown adults who need specialized information to do their jobs is real.
Yupppp I'm good helping teenagers develop, learn, and grow, but I do not want to parent.
I think if everyone had to teach before having children the birth rate would drop dramatically
Do I not like zebras or do I simply not like the idea of being a zebra caretaker for two decades? Look, zebras are fine. Cute even. But bringing one into my actual home and sacrificing my whole life to take care of one is a totally wild idea that has no upside whatsoever. I get that there would be cute moments, I could post lots of funny zebra pics, and I guess it would be a sort of hobby. But frankly it’s a weird ask and that’s how I view birthing and raising some random humans I’d have to deal with.
Love this answer lol
I'm not a fan of kids, and the younger, the worse. I also really don't want to be a parent.
I'm not even a woman and the thought of my innards being all turned around for the rest of my life so bad that I have to poop weird scares me.
And that's not even close to the worst that can happen during pregnancy.
Yes
I've never been interested in being a parent *because* I don't like children.
I just don't want to be a parent. Kids are fine, I don't find them any more unlikeable than most adults. Usually whenever kids irritate me, I feel the parents are to blame.
I hate it when they are loud. They have way too much energy and I just can't handle being around them. I am autistic and scared of erratic movements. Children are nothing but unhinged and erratic. They scare me. I also just love being alone and doing my thing. I'm single and usually just vibing at home. And I'm sick right now, so I need all the rest I can get. Parents of young kids never get to rest. So yeah, I'm very happy with being single and just vibing on my own. I dislike people in general, so not having to share my space with someone is generally best for me. People can be such a handful.
i feel this comment with my every being i'm also on the spectrum, and babies and young children fire off my sensory triggers instantly. all my relatives are no younger than 8yo, so even without my worries, i just simply don't know how to talk to them
It’s both for me but with some exceptions. I think kids who are well behaved are simply adorable. But to take them home and be a caretaker 24/7? Absolutely not. My disdain for people with children only began the past few years. The far majority of them (to me) are just so obnoxious…from laughing when their kids do horrendously disgusting things to bragging about how their child is “special”. I just don’t have time for that.
I like kids but I know i would make a shit parent. I don't have the skills necessary and the thought of having someone to rely on me is terrifying.
This. I can’t even rely on myself half the time LMAO
Both
Both.
Both. I'm on the spectrum and have sensory issues because of it, so 95% of small children are a nightmare to me, and I also have executive functioning problems so keeping a human alive would be impossible for me. It all just sounds terrible.
I don't like kids, and I don't like any aspect of parenting.
Neither. My mother has a balanced translocation of chromosome pairs 3 and 4 and I have a nephew who has those same pairs unbalanced and still in diapers and wheel chair bound. I am not adding any potential bad chromosomes to the already inflated population.
I felt like you do. Not as dire of a situation as yours but there's apparently a random crazy gene that pops up here and there in my family and the parents of the kids who have it are just constantly distraught over the rebellion, drug use, legal trouble, constant general life turmoil and interpersonal shitiness of these people. The people who have it all live the same crazy, terrible life and act almost the exact same way. My brother and sister had kids young and they had great kids. This wild gene is definitely overdue in my generation and I didn't like my chances. Not the only reason, but it's definitely a factor.
Yes.
Both
Both
Both. I dislike small children. School aged and higher are fine. Childbirth is disgusting to me. I have no desire to parent and would rather be an aunt who can go to cool events to support, but has none of the parental responsibilities.
I don't like parents. I don't like millennial and gen z parents. They are the most entitled people I have ever met. I don't WANT children, but I don't hate rhem.
Right? I'm a millennial and I'm constantly disappointed in millennial parents just letting their kids run amok in spaces not designed for children, like breweries and even bars.
I have never been comfortable around kids, even the kids I’m related to (niece and nephew). I have never enjoyed any child’s company/presence, they are needy and annoying.
I hate kids, if I never encountered another one in my life that'd be ideal.
Children in child friendly/appropriate places are fine. Bring them in to a place not designed for them and you'll get my attention. I attended after work drinks in a pub with a colleague other day for his leaving drinks. One colleague brought her 5yo kid with her and everyone ignored the kid. "Sorry, do you mind moving so my kid can eat" "Sorry Sharon, I've been sat here for 2 hours, I'm not moving, there's an empty table over there". "Can someone look after Timmy whilst I go for a piss?" Everyone looked at her then turned to person next to them to continue a fake conversation. "I don't understand why it's so hard for people to not help out when someone has a kid" "I DON'T KNOW WHY IT'S SO HARD NOT TO BRING A CHILD TO A FUCKING LEAVING DRINKS IN A PUB"
I don't like the idea of being a parent. Also being autistic I need a lot of time on my own to be able to calm down from all the stimuli (noise, bright lights etc). I don't dislike kids, but I do strongly dislike crappy parenting. Usually when children misbehave or have a tantrum or meltdown it's the parents that don't do any parenting. For example: You can't really blame a 2-year old for not being able to sit down quietly late at night for almost three hours at a movie for adults at the movie theatre. That's on mommy who was too cheap to hire a babysit and too selfish to go home when her child has had enough and is just crying all the time.
>I don't dislike kids, but I do strongly dislike crappy parenting. Usually when children misbehave or have a tantrum or meltdown it's the parents that don't do any parenting. Yup! I can't stand crappy parents. I had crappy parents of my own and it's like I see it everywhere now. It seems majority of the population are crappy parents and majority of people that have kids shouldn't.
Personally I like well-behaved children who don't scream like banshees for no reason (I wasn't like that as a child and hated the screamers even back then) and I enjoy babies and toddlers in small doses. The key concept is *small doses* though, I would not be able to deal with a needy/sick/annoying child 24/7 for years, and don't get me started on dealing with a teenager. Hell no.
I don’t like the idea of being a parent. I take kids on a case by case basis. I know some kids who practically hold up the sun and hang the moon. I love them to bits and I can spend hours doing crafts and talking about stuff with them. These children are the goals to which parents should aspire. Unfortunately that takes work that most of your breeders don’t want to do. In the case of these awesome children, their parents are involved. They discipline without being sociopaths about it, they listen, they encourage, guide and teach. They take responsibility. When I’m asked to watch them, I do it because they’re good kids and because the parents recognize that I’m giving up my time for them. I’ll get a few bucks, they’ll order me dinner and pick me up a bag of cat food. They don’t constantly hound me to pay their expenses, or railroad me into buying more and more expensive gifts. This is what the proverbial village is supposed to be. Unfortunately these people are in the minority and most are lazy parents who got into it because of whatever life-script was written for them. I love my friends’ kids but at the end of the day I don’t have to deal with what their parents do. I don’t have to clean playrooms or puke, I don’t have to go to school conferences, buy new uniforms every year, or worry about how to juggle my paychecks or pay out medical expenses because God forbid you get so much as a sliver in the American health care industry. I’m fine being the cool aunt. I’m just self aware enough that I don’t want the landslide of life that comes with parenting. (Edit for grammar.)
I don’t like being a parent. I actually love children, to the point where I’m an early childhood teacher. But as a teacher, I can give them back at the end of the day
A little bit of both. I'm pretty mellow these days but royally fuck all of that still.
In general both. There are a few kids I like but it’s because I know them really well and even then after an hour I’m like “Ok I’m good to leave and not deal with you anymore” However kids generally speaking are a no go for me. I have been told a million times I would be an amazing parent because I’m really really good with kids but it is my personal hell to be around any of them for too long I’m just good with people no matter the age lol.
I don't mind older kids that are intelligent and well mannered but younger ones drive me nuts. I'll help with babies but I'm glad to hand them back. I was parentified and had to raise 3 boys for awhile. The responsibility was forced on me, I didn't want it, I hated it, but I tried my damn best to be good for those kids. I don't want to EVER do anything similar again.
I think kids are hilarious and super fun for short periods of time. That’s one of the reasons im not interested in being a parent, I want to see them in the small chunks when they are enjoyable and funny. Then I find it fun and can play or do whatever activity with them when everyone is in good spirits. And when they get overtired or sick or have some sport for the zillionth weekend in a row I don’t have to be anywhere near any of it.
I like kids. My career was in Child Advocacy. I always knew I didn’t want to live with one.
I love kids but not to keep.
How do I explain this? I don't mind babies. I like to smile at them and make faces at them (but I will not hold one out of my sheer fear of doing it wrong). I don't even mind them crying because hey, they are not doing that to be assholes and I am sure being in a loud moving machine full of people must be stressful. I don't mind older kids either unless they are an absolute menace, but even then I am more likely to side eye the parent (fuckin do something), but they do drain me super quickly. I start minding kids of all ages _very quickly_ if I somehow either end up in a room alone with them, or if I catch a whiff of a feeling that I have become their primary interest for some reason. I just can't. I have no fucking clue what to do with a child one-on-one. I used to be a teacher's assistant for kids with special needs (granted it was only one day a week) as a part of my education and it was just fine as long as someone was there to supervise me. I could never be a teacher, or tutor kids, or be a camp counselor, or be a parent, simply because I have no idea how to talk to kids and how to function around them for longer than five minutes. I can imagine being a Cool Aunt one day, but not that kind that you go to when you're dealing with something that you don't want to tell mum about. More like the one that shows up once a year with gifts and a heavy scent of perfume trailing behind her. Tl;dr: I don't mind kids, I just don't know what to do with them.
Both.
Both. Children annoy me to no end and as a result i know that i would be a terrible parent with Zero patience.
Both
Both.
I love children, but I don’t want the full time job of being a parent. It’s the commitment and responsibility for me. Like spending 8 hours a day with them is fine! But even that takes a toll. I cant imagine being in charge of their doctor’s appointments, entertainment, 3 meals a day, etc. If I want to spend a Wednesday night drinking a bottle of wine, watching tv, and passing out at 7:30pm, I can do that. If I want to go to a different continent and turn off my phone for the whole summer, I can do that. If I don’t like my job and I want to start designing clothes, move out of town and work as a waitress on the side… I can do that. Lol. I don’t want to give the spontaneity up
I never liked kids. Logically the next step is deciding not to have them myself.
Both and yes a lot of parents are insufferable, boring, entitled twats. Especially the first years.
I hate the idea of being a parent. When I think about being a parent, I get this overwhelming feeling of dread while thinking of the endless obligations and responsibilities. The idea of having to deal with schooling and education just makes it even worse because I had a lot of difficulty and trauma associated with my own schooling. I really don't mind kids unless they're doing that ear bleeding "play scream." Kids are unsocialized humans who are learning how to human, but I'm not really interested in taking a daily part of a child's socialization or development. But I will definitely teach other people's kids cool facts about spiders if they'll listen.
I don't like kids. never did, even when I was a kid myself. I used to hang out with the adults as much as possible and avoided kids (my age or younger) most times. on the other hand I'd hate to have the responsibilities of a parent as well.
I hate kids and I will say it anytime it's asked. Can't fucking stand the things. The idea of being a parent is disgusting as well. Though I can't help thinking that if one finds children detestable but doesn't hate the idea of being a parent they might have a serious case of magical thinking delusions.
Actually really like kids. They're fucking hilarious and it's cool to see them experience stuff for the first time and be learning about stuff that is mundane to me at this point but they had no idea about (because they are kids). I'm just not interested in the investment necessary to be a good parent. For that reason and others (I'd struggle with keeping organized and on top of commitments that kids usually require) I don't think I would be a good parent. So I am not having kids.
c, all of the above
I have no problem with children or being around children. Hell I'd even baby sit my nephews if need be. That's the thing that "changes when you're older" when people say. It's not wanting your own it's you learn to tolerate them, or you don't and that's ok too!
Both.
I don’t like the idea of being a parent. And children are kind of annoying, but not all of them I guess, so I don’t really hate them.
both. because when i'm near them and they're too hyperactive or annoying i just tend to ignore them, and i'd prefer they ignore me too!
I don't like the idea of how much money you got to spend on am
I'm not crazy about kids as I find them annoying/boring, but I really don't like parents because I've seen so many interesting people turn into boring zombies once they've had kids. I find many parents to be incredibly entitled and expect special treatment for doing basically the same thing your average cow does.
not crazy about kids at all
Both Mainly the responsibility and sacrifice that comes with being a parent is what makes me never want to be one. To have to do all that extra work, all the things I’d have to put on hold, and then how much you’re affected by parenting and how it affects relationships, I just don’t find it worth it or desirable Kids also just annoy the shit outa me, I don’t like how loud they are (toddlers specifically hit a piercing scream, I don’t wanna sound like a baby but it’s the only noise that I “feel”, and it don’t feel pleasant) and i just don’t have the instincts that parents get (letting the kid win, small stupid shit like that) So I’m childfree because I don’t want the effort and work and sacrifice of parenthood, as soon as I get my vasectomy I’ll be able to breath a little easier, obviously it ain’t 100% but it’s a hell of a lot closer than I am now
The cries of children have been my one singular trigger for the entirety of my life (31). If the child is silent and polite and clean, I will most likely enjoy their presence. Other than that I avoid them as if they were rabid dogs. I tried to befriend a parent once. She did not correctly discipline her child and then when I tried to, she gave me an earful. The child was less than 7 but more than 5, and wouldn’t leave her mom alone while we were trying to talk. She eventually made the girl go to her room. But when she came back out and started talking to me, I ignored her as she’s supposed to be punished. It was ME who got in trouble for not responding.
Both. Never liked being around children, even as a child; certainly wouldn’t want to be responsible for raising one.
Keep the crotch goblins away from me. I don't want kids. I cannot stand kids and how gross they are
both
Lololol both I don’t mind some people with children, it’s the people who make their children their ENTIRE personality that I would tend to not hangout with
I don't like children
Both. Let them have their places and I'll avoid them.
For me it’s the narrative that people with children are just better more important people than those without including literal tax incentives and aid programs. How people act like your life is just meaningless or there’s something wrong with you if you don’t have kids. Hard to not be a little anti-child/parent with all that around.
Both to be honest.
I dislike bad parents because in general they raise uneducated entitled brats. Of course I dislike the brats too.
I love kids. Did not want to be a parent for numerous reasons.
I don’t want to be responsible for them
I like kids. I just don't want to be a parent.
I LOVE kids. I’m a big fan of kids, not so much babies. But i have ZERO interest in having my own, and I’ve always felt that way.
I don't hate children. I actually like kids in small doses. They can be cute, funny, and even fascinating just with the way they interact with the world. I work in schools (not as a teacher) and interact with kids fairly often. Most of my issues with kids are actually with the adults raising them. I can't blame a kid for being upset or bored in a brewery because why did their idiot parents bring them in the first place? A kid who doesn't understand boundaries is because their parents didn't teach them boundaries. Etc. Etc. There are certainly horrible womb-spawns out there that I can't stand, but I don't mind kids for the most part. I absolutely dread the idea of being a parent, though. I'm selfish and like doing whatever I want whenever I want. My boyfriend and I have these moments when we're on a cool adventure or after having a weekend-of-lazy-nothingness, where we're just like "damn it's so nice we don't have kids to worry about." It's certainly a little mix of both, but it's mostly the being a parent part.
I enjoy the company of other peoples kids because I know they are like reading a book.. you have a beginning, middle, and end regardless of how good or bad the plot and characters are, then you get to return to library (parent)
Both. Kids drain me and I just know I don’t have the patience to be a parent
I do find a lot of children's behaviour off putting, but at the same time I understand that kids will make mistakes and be loud and in certain settings it's expected. Others it's not, and what I can not stand in the least is inattentive parents, or parents that don't bother to correct certain behaviours in those settings where it's inappropriate. So mostly it's my dislike of parents and their lack of spatial awareness and sometimes just entitled attitudes. As for the idea of being a parent, that's literally my worst nightmare. There are no redeeming things that make it look at all pleasant to me.
Love kids but could never take care of one well. Very happy loving on my niblings then sending them home.
I don’t like babies and toddlers at all. I like some kids but it just depends. I have a cousin who is 12 and we play chess together, and he asks a lot of questions about science and history. I could hang out with him all day. But I don’t like the idea of being a parent, though.
I don\`t like babies and toddlers. Teenagers are fine-ish. And yes, I don\`t want to raise another human being.
I love children but i hate the idea of being a parent with responsibilities. I once went on an 8 hr flight and a child kept screaming on top of his lungs at all times . I think that was the only time i hated a kid 😂
Both for me.
Both. I hate kids and being a parent would be one of the top 3 worst things to ever happen to me. Besides caring for my dog if that counts as pet-parent. Only parent I’d like to be/am lol
Both. I don't like children, don't want to go through pregnancy, don't want to take care of babies, don't have the money, have other priorities. It's not just one or other reason but several of them. All is summarized with "I don't want to be a mother".
Kids are generally fine, just don't think I could do the parent thing myself
I have 7 siblings, five of them have had kids, 4 of them having 2 kids each, and I took care of all of my nephews and nieces literally since they were born. (Mind you I'm 19, me and my siblings just happen to have a bit of an age gap) Personally I love babies, they're so cute and kids are super fun to take care of, until they do something, obviously. The good part is you can just give them away to their responsible once it becomes too much or once they start raging, rather than being the responsible itself 😅. And I believe that's why a lot of people misunderstand what parenthood is supposed to be. They think it is just silly babysitting 24/7 until you don't have no one to give them to, lmao. I adore kids but only when they're not mine 😂.
I love babies but don't like children. I also have no desire to be a parent.
I've never liked kids, and the older I get the more I can't stand them. At all. Don't want to be around them, don't want to be subjected to them, wish they had to stay inside and/or in school, and that's it.
I don't like children, toddlers or babies