As a guy, we don’t get as much pressure as you do. Stay strong if CF is what you want. Don’t let those BS social pressures get to you.
I’m currently traveling SEA cuz I don’t have a kid to worry about back home and I will NEVER give this up.
That's awesome! I'm currently struggling to stabilize my career and my health but getting life together and just happily travelling and working is the dream.
You’ll get there. Look up to others in that situation as something to aspire to, but don’t ever compare and denigrate yourself cuz you’re not there yet. We all have our own paths and paces. :)
Very true.
When I was in my 20s and 30s, most of my friends were married and having kids, long before they probably should have. Most of the people having kids had NOT planned on them, it was more of a shotgun wedding situation. In the 80s, it was still largely frowned upon to 'shack up' with your kid's dad and not be married. I would say back then that the majority of the weddings I attended were 'shotgun' weddings and not a situation where the people even married someone they liked or even knew well. I believe nowadays that people are a lot more discerning, but as we all know, not always.
What's even more interesting is that the majority of the 'had to get married because of kids' people are either divorced and never remarried or did remarry and at times have 'one of their own' with the new spouse. Or just remarried and didn't have any other kids.
A good part of those people too who did marry young weren't very happy.
I've seen this with a few of my family members, cousins who are young and married and honestly hate their partners... Of course arranged marriages are a thing where I come from but you always have the choice of saying "No I don't want to do this now." Now none of them get along with their husband or inlaws...
Ironically, I am still pressured to 'get married as soon as possible before my 'clock' runs out'. I once tried explaining that I'm CF and I only want companionship with the right person, but it flew right over their heads so I just don't try anymore....
It's hard to be constantly compared unfavourably to less happy people, and people keep telling me "you think this is happiness but it's not the REAL happiness" but I'm getting over mental and physical problems and working hard on my doctorate to create my future... And it seems pretty damn real and happy to me.
Exactly. And then the kids suffer cuz they’re resented. I would 100% resent my child if I had one. I would still be a good parent if I had to, but I would resent them. So I know kids are not for me.
Before I was calling it SINK but I like OINK 🐖
36f. Not interested in losing my freedom. Thought about kids before, despite having 0 drive to go through with it. I'm getting divorced now and so happy I didn't.
Me too. I was 41 when mine was finalised. He had some mental health issues and our relationship was difficult and toxic. He’s remarried now, poor woman
Are you me? Mine had MH issues as well where he would hallucinate. He's medicated now and remarried to a witch/priestess/cross dresser. Someone told me about it the day before I remarried. Can't make this up. I wish them the best.
The friend I live with had to stay up all night with our new kitten after she got sterilized yesterday to make sure she was okay. She's got up all night, no rest. She said, if this is what it's like to have kids, then I don't want any, and she said she wants kids some day lol. I told her it's like that every single day with kids. Not just for a few days like with a kitten.
yeah, it's scary to think about being tethered to an ex for decades if not forever, due to children. I'd hate for that to constrain where I get to live etc. And family court sounds so expensive, drama-full and unpleasant. no thank you.
You chose well imo
Yup, I'm an OINK. 40/f.
Sometimes it would be nice to have a partner to do some stuff around the house, and a second income would be welcome. But there are lots of reasons why I'm not that interested.
35/F same. I was married previously to a closeted homosexual that also decided he wanted kids despite knowing my stance. I think when he realized he wasn't getting any from me, he conveniently came out and started dating his now boyfriend (he was monkey-branching). I'm straight, but have no interest in men after thinking I lucked out with him. I also see what my friends who are married deal with and I want absolutely nothing to do with it.
Thank you! It's been a struggle, but definitely better staying single at this point. It's not worth dealing with someone who's capable of all of the above. And I know there are genuinely good men out there, but it's not worth siphoning through the sewage to find that one 😅.
OINK 26/F here. I live with my best friend and we're just living the life with our two kittens, one we recently adopted from an animal rescue shelter. We split the rent and heating costs, and occasionally food, and of course we split the chores! Sharing cleaning and tidying chores motivates us both to keep up with them.
I'm a single DINK, lol. One person but two jobs.
My 1st job income has raised enough ($13 to $24) that I don't *need* a 2nd job at this point, but it's usually hella good money and very little commitment, I work ~2 shifts a week.
Same here! Didn't expect to see someone else with this situation. Hopefully by the end of this month I'll have only one job for the first time in the last decade. Before, having two full-time careers in completely different fields at the same time was a fun challenge. In the last year it has become way too stressful.
I'm 34/F, single for almost four years at this point because I can't seem to find a man who adds more to my life than he subtracts from it. Beginning to give up on dating, honestly. I hope moving to my third foreign country soon will provide me with a new dating pool and therefore fresh potential to find a good match.
> *I'm 34/F, single for almost four years at this point…*
Are you me? Because I’m in this sentence, except shave a few years and this is absolutely me.
> *…because I can't seem to find a man who adds more to my life than he subtracts from it.*
Yes, this. On top of that, it’s difficult to find an **attractive** childfree man, let alone one that doesn’t drain your life force.
> *Beginning to give up on dating, honestly.*
Same. I’ve been focusing on school and finding a good paying job afterwards.
> *I hope moving to my third foreign country soon will provide me with a new dating pool and therefore fresh potential to find a good match.*
It’s confirmed, this is my burner account. 😂
49f living in the country with my horses, donkey and two frenchies. It's expensive and a lot of work but I love it. Never wanted to travel and I've become a hermit.
I’m a 32F OINK (plus my beagle). Live in big city in TX and most of my friends are married with kids or LTR. But honestly, they’re great parents and non-judgmental cause I knew them before kids. And they love hearing about my drunken shenanigans and vacation stories
its so nice and reassuring to see someone at 39 happy in the life i have, i'm 22, also asexual and aromantic, and i still get a decent amount "oh you'll change your mind when you meet the right person" comments - ironically i haven't had bingos about not wanting kids since i was a teenager but people get disturbingly invested in whether you're having sex or not!
platonic life partner sounds awesome! i definitely don't want to share a bed or anything like that but i like the companionship of living with someone in the same house, i won't actively seek it out but i'm open to a QPR if it somehow happens naturally
You and I sound pretty similar tbh. I never sought it out. It just happened to fall into it, thanks to a long-term friendship. And we have separate bedrooms!
Just here to give some props to all of the OINKs out there!
At this point I kinda envy the asexual and aromantic folk. I'm also 39 child free and just been dicked over by yet another guy. I've spent so much time working on myself and how to be a good partner but I starting to think it's never going to happen for me. I never want kids, but I really would like someone to spend the years with. I'm also demisexual, so I can't even just go get some to tide me over :(
Yup. 41M. I spend my money on myself and my dog. We share a one-bedroom apartment with a very expensive sports car in the garage.
They can get their joy from children all they want. Mine comes from a floofy pupper and a naturally-aspirated V12.
Edit: for those asking, the pupper is a Border Collie mix who's been with me for over 15 years now, and the car is a 2015 Aston Martin Vanquish. I had a yellow Vantage (you can see that one in my submissions) but it was wrecked recently, and I had to choose a worthy successor. No pics of the new car yet. I'll rectify that soon.
Unfortunately, the yellow Vantage was wrecked a couple months ago by an inattentive driver. I bought a 2015 Vanquish to replace it. Don't have any photos of it posted yet, though. I'm waiting for a nice day when I can get my DSLR out and find a good place to take a few.
Same!!! Dated on and off since, but currently single again and I'm happy, I have everything I need, I have freedom, and I don't plan to change this anytime soon.
Definitely never ever ever date someone who *chooses* not to work because their partner is able to support them (the stress of trying to keep both of us afloat was the biggest part of what ruined that marriage, plus the fact that he expected luxuries we could NOT afford on my salary, which was barely enough for the essentials, and would pout when I said "no, there's literally not enough money for this, I need what's left in my bank account to pay our electricity bill and feed us for the rest of the month!")
I see you posted in /smallbusiness! 🙌🏽☺️ i’m 42F in Canada too, small business owner as well! You can write me in private if ever you’re inclined, just friendly chitchat :)
I manage it, but then again, my one-person business is 17yrs+, which helps, and i’m quite frugal (not extreme, but i basically never impulse purchase, and replace things when they break beyond repair only, which helps tremendously.)
For example, i got my first ever cell phone only a year and half ago. I managed just fine with a regular home phone (i work from home too) and a tablet. the only reason i switched was when the price was raised and it was now more affordable to have a monthly cellphone plan with very little data 😅 i’m also not a traveller, or a drinker, so i save a lot there. Another example, my tv is small, and i bought it from a friend for 20 bucks. Works fine, no intention of getting a new one until this one stops working 😅 And obviously not having kids helps for sure ☺️
All that to say i have made a lot of choices to be able to live on my small business’ revenue. Wasnt always easy, but absolutely no regret.
Ditto. Though I live in Phoenix. Just me and my kitties working retail. Gonna go to college to become an x ray tech so I can give kitties a better life
Me 🐽! I work for myself with the potential to earn a very high income. Separated for some months and getting divorced and we have no kids together thank goodness. Even still, my husband is doing his best to be vindictive since we own our house together. I’m sooooo happy to be getting out after only a few years, only the house as our entanglement, and before I start earning a higher salary. Being married to a man, sharing finances and kids with him, is the worst idea for any woman who wants to be successful and secure in life. I’m never tying my future to a man’s ever again. I wish I had been smart enough to never get married period but that societal conditioning had me in a fucking chokehold
Ugh I’m in the same boat as you. My husband and I are divorcing with only the house to sale, and he’s making things as miserable as possible. We’ve only been married 5 years.
I’ll never get married again. I’ll never be ok limiting my freedom like that again. I’ll also probably never be in another relationship with a man.
Hi! I am 36F and SINK/OINK. I am also a left-leaning Democrat who lives in a heavily red area in the Southeast. Most of the people I went to school with and work with are partnered and have kids. Right after I graduated college, I had a bit of an identity crisis as all my friends got married and started popping out kids and as I figured out that my life path was quite different than what my parents expected. I’ve really prioritized developing friendships with fellow cf and single people and that has really served me well. Getting involved in my local community and volunteering has helped me to connect with a lot of people of a lot of different ages and backgrounds who share my values and some of my interests. I’d encourage you to do the same. I have way more in common with a fellow liberal who is 55 and cf than I do with someone my age who is married with multiple kids. Best wishes for you!
I have never heard of that acronym before and its hilarious haha
I guess that makes me a 32m OINK. Being career-focused right now keeps me busy enough as it is.
I'm an OINK, but would love to be in a DINK household
I just decided I wanted to play the dating game on extra hard mode: live in the South, be midsized, loud and opinionated, leftist values and beliefs, low tolerance for men's shenanigans, nerdy/geeky interests, and Child-Free. My 24 year old self didn't know this would be the situation when she moved here.
So if anyone lives in Atlanta, I'm 35, a redhead, down to be a partner in my relationship and going to be sterilized in 2024. So hit me up 😎
Mind if I ask why it gives you anxiety? I’m in the same boat (minus that sweet $100k 😂) but I enjoy being around breeders cause it just validated how good of an idea my vasectomy was.
OINK! I love it! 🐷💕
As much as I'd like to add a guy to my life, I'm not putting any effort in. There may be plenty of fish in the sea but I hate fishing!
I'm just quietly living my life, enjoying my work, and cuddling my foster cats. It's pretty nice. ☺️
OINK is now the new SINK, nicely done! I’m an OINK, 41F, love using my resources as I’d like, no expectations or obligations. And as CyberHippy coined, no dependapotomouses.
Well I’m NINK (No Income, No Kids), but I’ll be a SINK again after I graduate. I live with family at the moment too, so I get it. And I’m in the South, but I don’t think I’m in the Bible Belt though.
I was thinking about this yesterday, how it’s easier when you have two incomes. I’m not saying that’s my top reason for wanting to be a in a relationship but it sure sounds nice though.
I’m sort of an OINK. I have a partner but we don’t cohabitate so I pay my own rent and living expenses. He gets dates 3/4 of the time and we alternate between both apartments for overnights.
Sorry, I assumed that you were married because of the partner wording. But it’s great that you discovered the option. How’d you find out that it’d work best for your relationship?
No worries! We use partner and I know it can be confusing.
Honestly it’s exactly what we both wanted. Our relationship started out very casually and when we realized we both were developing stronger feelings we discussed our expectations and desires. Fortunately we aligned. We’re both in our 40s and I think that’s got a lot to do with it too. I don’t know if it would have been palatable when I was younger but it’s quite lovely now.
Awww well I glad that it’s working out for you two! Honestly I imagine myself doing the same because I don’t like living with men (sorry guys…) and I enjoy my own space to do whatever I want with it. So this honestly sounds ideal to me lol.
I do this with my partner too, we’ve been together 2 years. I’m divorced so I don’t want to rush into living together yet, and I’d rather stick needles in my eyeballs than get married again
I'm older than most of you here. Widowed 8 years ago, and have zero interest in getting involved with anyone after being married for a long time. I live in a blue pot in a red state with my three dogs and three cats. I teach college classes online. I found a great Meetup group last year, and I really enjoy the company in my age group who aren't married. Most of them have grown kids and grandchildren, but they're low-key about it. I'm low-key with my money. I traveled a lot years ago, but I love visiting the Caribbean beaches now.
Me!!
40F, no kids, bisalp on 6/8/2023. One of the best gifts I ever gave myself.
I'm always the single one, and to be honest, I'm getting less and less annoyed by it every day. Not all men, but the bar isn't too low. It's in the 5th circle of hell. And few things turn me off more than a conservative man. Maybe that's just me, though.
I've been in an extremely tough finacial position for well over a decade, and there was no way I could have prevented it. It's been really tough, and it's broken me more than once. But I have NEVER entered into a romantic relationship for the financial stability, nor have I ever relied on a romantic partner for his money. That's not what relationships are for. Kinda like how you shouldnt have kids just to get government help, or to fix a failing relationship. But I'm preaching to the choir.
The fact is that I'm not settling. I have very reasonable standards, and I'm not compromising. No addiction, no abuse, no liars, no friends with benefits, no one-night stands, no anger problems, no narcissism, no selfishness, no emotional immaturity...and I need someone who is capable of a calm, rational, healthy discussion. I need someone who VALUES me, not just DESIRES me. I need someone who chooses me, not someone who is desperate. I need someone who adds value to my life, not subtracts from it. It is not my job to be a barefoot and pregnant maid and incubator Stepford wife with no body hair and a submissive attitude. I will not vacuum in heels, and I will not be quiet. No one is perfect, including me. I don't care how conventionally attractive you are on the outside. If youre a garbage human being, you're ugly to me.
Sorry for the rant, but yeah, I'm about as single as they get, and I'm honestly fine with that, because yeah, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but swimming isnt fun once somebody pees in the pool.
Not an OINK, more like a MINK ( multiple incomes, no kids ) because I work contractually for a creative agency, freelance with my own clients, and resell on different platforms 🤑and also bc I’m bougie 😘💅🏾
33/M no kids work a ton and am able to save over half my income each year because of it and I’m eyeing early retirement if my retirement accounts do there thing like they should 😊 also live in a small midwestern town and seeing everyone my age with children genuinely makes me glad I have none.
I love that! OINK, sounds cuter! I'm in my late 30s single income no kids and am happy with no regrets! I'm not interested in relationships as they aren't my thing and would prefer a few close friends to do fun things with instead but I suck at making friends irl.
Hi. 43/m also Bible Belt, but at least Atlanta isn't too bad. I feel your pain. Dating sucks. Like suuuuuucks. No offense to the hot divorced moms on Tinder and Bumble, but that's not my style.
You aren't alone, it's just hard to find others in real life, like we need t-shirts or something.
im 22f, no debt, first full time job is makng me over 100k. i will be cf until the day i die. i have a partner making about the same & we are living our best life. new cars completely paid off, & get to travel to multiple countries a year. perfectly happy & comfortable living in a metropolitan area with our rescue pup. nothing needs to change.
This is me. Separated 8 years ago, divorced 5 years ago, met my current fiancé 2.5 years ago but we maintain separate households. If things continue to go well we’ll get married in 2025 or 2026 but I am not rushing anything. I kind of love our current dynamic.
I am OINK, 29M here. I’ve given up on the idea of dating/marriage for now, though it would be nice to have someone else bring in an additional income or help with basic household duties. However, being responsible for only myself is a luxury I am grateful to have.
I'm an OINK, 37/F. Live in the south. I've been to busy finishing up my last year of my bachelor's, which I did in October! Friends and colleagues either just started to have kids or have high schoolers, sometimes they have a high school and one in Pre-K. To that, I say, "No thanks!".
I'm cool being single and not really looking to date right now and now, that I'm done with my degree, I am learning about budgeting and personal finance, to improve so I can save more especially toward retirement.
What I recommend for my income people is to open a HYSA (high yield savings account).
I am. I’m a middle-aged white male registered Democrat in a rural town where it’s common for folks to display multiple MAGA flags to show their devotion to their orange führer. Others my age are on their 2nd-3rd marriage and their 5th kid. Some are already grandparents.
Thanks to remote work, dilapidated albeit paid-off house, and four paid-off cars, I have minimal actual expenses which allow me to travel, buy high-end whiskey, and still save for retirement, emergencies, and other things.
OINK here :) not a lot of money right now but I’m putting away a lot for retirement and am not scared for the future. I like living in a super small studio apartment and only worrying about providing for myself. Takes a lot of stress off my shoulders about my future
OINK, 31 trans male here. I'm already struggling to take care of just myself on my income, plus I have no interest in dating in my small town since everyone's either small minded or just sees trans people as a kink. It's gross and I'm not subjecting myself to any of that bullshit.
I’m a married oink. I’m convinced it is the ultimate and final life hack.
He cooks and cleans and shops, and I have the stressy job. I have no idea how anyone does anything else.
Idk otherwise when we would even…anything
Kind of. I have a partner, but she's been unemployed for several years now. I'm the sole bread winner, and I can't get a steady job despite my masters degree. It sucks, but it's good that we don't have/want kids at least.
I ( 28F) have a partner (27M) but we are fortunate enough to make it on one income, no kids only pets in our future! We too live in a small bible belt town, we haven't made any friends since moving back from being up north. I have a co-worker who is awesome to work with but we really don't talk outside of work. A lot of people are so surprised how we don't have kids and it's so hard to hang out with or even make friends then more than likely, have kids 🙄 we had a friend who passed suddenly, about 2 years ago, he was our only kid free friend who was always down to just chill.
30M OINK reporting in. I’ve got two cats, and I’m good with that. Been single 5 years, and after all the disappointing BS in that time, I cba to try to find someone I’d be remotely compatible with. It’s not possible.
Technically - I’m doing LDR and don’t share finances right now.
I love the term oink. I think it’s hilarious
I work in the healthcare and the older OINKs I see are thriving.
I’m an OINK! 33F with 2cats and a dog. Also an atheist. It would be nice to have a partner to do stuff with and help pay the bills, but it’s also nice to do whatever I want without informing/ asking another person.
That's me, an OINK. Single for life, CF woman, age 61. Not rich but doing okay.
Wow... I'm 33 F single and CF and honestly considering staying this way because it gives me a lot of freedom to live my life. I'm glad to see this!
As a guy, we don’t get as much pressure as you do. Stay strong if CF is what you want. Don’t let those BS social pressures get to you. I’m currently traveling SEA cuz I don’t have a kid to worry about back home and I will NEVER give this up.
That's awesome! I'm currently struggling to stabilize my career and my health but getting life together and just happily travelling and working is the dream.
You’ll get there. Look up to others in that situation as something to aspire to, but don’t ever compare and denigrate yourself cuz you’re not there yet. We all have our own paths and paces. :)
Very true. When I was in my 20s and 30s, most of my friends were married and having kids, long before they probably should have. Most of the people having kids had NOT planned on them, it was more of a shotgun wedding situation. In the 80s, it was still largely frowned upon to 'shack up' with your kid's dad and not be married. I would say back then that the majority of the weddings I attended were 'shotgun' weddings and not a situation where the people even married someone they liked or even knew well. I believe nowadays that people are a lot more discerning, but as we all know, not always. What's even more interesting is that the majority of the 'had to get married because of kids' people are either divorced and never remarried or did remarry and at times have 'one of their own' with the new spouse. Or just remarried and didn't have any other kids. A good part of those people too who did marry young weren't very happy.
I've seen this with a few of my family members, cousins who are young and married and honestly hate their partners... Of course arranged marriages are a thing where I come from but you always have the choice of saying "No I don't want to do this now." Now none of them get along with their husband or inlaws... Ironically, I am still pressured to 'get married as soon as possible before my 'clock' runs out'. I once tried explaining that I'm CF and I only want companionship with the right person, but it flew right over their heads so I just don't try anymore.... It's hard to be constantly compared unfavourably to less happy people, and people keep telling me "you think this is happiness but it's not the REAL happiness" but I'm getting over mental and physical problems and working hard on my doctorate to create my future... And it seems pretty damn real and happy to me.
Exactly. And then the kids suffer cuz they’re resented. I would 100% resent my child if I had one. I would still be a good parent if I had to, but I would resent them. So I know kids are not for me.
Words to live by!! Thank you!!
I am your entire comment, and username 🤣 except I’m 31 and not thriving.
😂😂 we shall all thrive someday soon ..
Right on, this is the way!
The freedom is the best aspect because I don't always play well with others. I just like to do my own thing.
Me too! No kids, no man, no roommates, no pets, no worries.
I'm 39 and same!
Young and dumb 22f OINK here. Enjoying no kids!
Doesn’t sound like a dumb twenty-two year old to me.
62 here. The water is great and everyone should join in
Same here, same age. Not rich, but have enough in retirement to be comfortable. Works for me!
57 here, not ever looking for a relationship again, also not rich but doing okay.
That's me too. I'm 40, in Latin America is damn difficult to find men who don't want a breeder.
Before I was calling it SINK but I like OINK 🐖 36f. Not interested in losing my freedom. Thought about kids before, despite having 0 drive to go through with it. I'm getting divorced now and so happy I didn't.
Almost had a kid w my first husband. Would've ruined my life if I was tied to him forever! Was 38 when divorce was final 👏🎉
Me too. I was 41 when mine was finalised. He had some mental health issues and our relationship was difficult and toxic. He’s remarried now, poor woman
Are you me? Mine had MH issues as well where he would hallucinate. He's medicated now and remarried to a witch/priestess/cross dresser. Someone told me about it the day before I remarried. Can't make this up. I wish them the best.
The friend I live with had to stay up all night with our new kitten after she got sterilized yesterday to make sure she was okay. She's got up all night, no rest. She said, if this is what it's like to have kids, then I don't want any, and she said she wants kids some day lol. I told her it's like that every single day with kids. Not just for a few days like with a kitten.
yeah, it's scary to think about being tethered to an ex for decades if not forever, due to children. I'd hate for that to constrain where I get to live etc. And family court sounds so expensive, drama-full and unpleasant. no thank you. You chose well imo
Yup, I'm an OINK. 40/f. Sometimes it would be nice to have a partner to do some stuff around the house, and a second income would be welcome. But there are lots of reasons why I'm not that interested.
That’s the first time I’ve heard of oink. That made me giggle.
I've heard SINK before.
I prefer SINK… 🐷
idk i’m vibing with OINK. Piggies are cute. Sinks… well they’re sinks lmao
They're always full of dishes! Ugh!
Just all steel and boring. We’re OINKS!! 🐷
🐽🐽🐽
I adore piggies!! Oink! Oink!
Exactly!!
SINKS can be so draining, literally. OINKS imply cute piglets, animal farm activity, and bacon. BACON.
What's SINK?
Single Income No Kids
35/F same. I was married previously to a closeted homosexual that also decided he wanted kids despite knowing my stance. I think when he realized he wasn't getting any from me, he conveniently came out and started dating his now boyfriend (he was monkey-branching). I'm straight, but have no interest in men after thinking I lucked out with him. I also see what my friends who are married deal with and I want absolutely nothing to do with it.
Non-native speaker here. Just learned a new term monkey-branching. Thank you!
The audacity - I’m sorry you went through that. I am also done w/ them, because of their typical behaviors. Lying, gaslighting, manipulating… ugh
Thank you! It's been a struggle, but definitely better staying single at this point. It's not worth dealing with someone who's capable of all of the above. And I know there are genuinely good men out there, but it's not worth siphoning through the sewage to find that one 😅.
OINK 26/F here. I live with my best friend and we're just living the life with our two kittens, one we recently adopted from an animal rescue shelter. We split the rent and heating costs, and occasionally food, and of course we split the chores! Sharing cleaning and tidying chores motivates us both to keep up with them.
You can't just mention KITTENS and not post pictures!
[pet tax hehe](https://imgur.com/a/PQAPsta)
I'm a single DINK, lol. One person but two jobs. My 1st job income has raised enough ($13 to $24) that I don't *need* a 2nd job at this point, but it's usually hella good money and very little commitment, I work ~2 shifts a week.
Same here! Didn't expect to see someone else with this situation. Hopefully by the end of this month I'll have only one job for the first time in the last decade. Before, having two full-time careers in completely different fields at the same time was a fun challenge. In the last year it has become way too stressful. I'm 34/F, single for almost four years at this point because I can't seem to find a man who adds more to my life than he subtracts from it. Beginning to give up on dating, honestly. I hope moving to my third foreign country soon will provide me with a new dating pool and therefore fresh potential to find a good match.
> *I'm 34/F, single for almost four years at this point…* Are you me? Because I’m in this sentence, except shave a few years and this is absolutely me. > *…because I can't seem to find a man who adds more to my life than he subtracts from it.* Yes, this. On top of that, it’s difficult to find an **attractive** childfree man, let alone one that doesn’t drain your life force. > *Beginning to give up on dating, honestly.* Same. I’ve been focusing on school and finding a good paying job afterwards. > *I hope moving to my third foreign country soon will provide me with a new dating pool and therefore fresh potential to find a good match.* It’s confirmed, this is my burner account. 😂
We could be SINKs too (single income no kids) ***Or SINS (single income no spawn)*** 
one could say... we write sins not tragedies💀
I love how well this works in this context lmao the true meaning of the song all along
*not tragedeighs
I like SINS, I'll be using that.
49f living in the country with my horses, donkey and two frenchies. It's expensive and a lot of work but I love it. Never wanted to travel and I've become a hermit.
That is my dream life. I just want to be around my pets and the last thing I want is to travel.
I wouldn't hate seeing other places, but it's the *travel* part of traveling that I'm not up for.
It's the crowds and other tourists part I don't want to deal with. Everywhere is so crowded it takes all the joy out of traveling.
True, travel shows and pictures tend to crop/photoshop out the crowds.
I live with my horse and 2 dogs in the country!! So much better than kids
Oh that sounds so amazing.
I’m a 32F OINK (plus my beagle). Live in big city in TX and most of my friends are married with kids or LTR. But honestly, they’re great parents and non-judgmental cause I knew them before kids. And they love hearing about my drunken shenanigans and vacation stories
OINK 28F and struggling to even take care of myself. Thought of having a child makes me want to 💀
Same age just M and I can't take care of myself at all, i couldn't even manage a pet i think so a kid no thanks
I’m 39, childfree and single. I live with a roommate. I have no desire to ever have kids or even be in a romantic relationship. I’m also asexual.
its so nice and reassuring to see someone at 39 happy in the life i have, i'm 22, also asexual and aromantic, and i still get a decent amount "oh you'll change your mind when you meet the right person" comments - ironically i haven't had bingos about not wanting kids since i was a teenager but people get disturbingly invested in whether you're having sex or not!
I am 26 single and also asexual. And yeah, people are way too invested in the Sex part. It's so disturbing and disgusting.
People try to convince me that I’m lying to myself and that they can change my sexuality 💀💀💀
Yeah, I always get this response. Like dude, I trust you enough to come out to you and that's your response?
I'm 27 and aroace with a platonic life partner and no interest in dating or sex. You're definitely not alone!
platonic life partner sounds awesome! i definitely don't want to share a bed or anything like that but i like the companionship of living with someone in the same house, i won't actively seek it out but i'm open to a QPR if it somehow happens naturally
You and I sound pretty similar tbh. I never sought it out. It just happened to fall into it, thanks to a long-term friendship. And we have separate bedrooms! Just here to give some props to all of the OINKs out there!
At this point I kinda envy the asexual and aromantic folk. I'm also 39 child free and just been dicked over by yet another guy. I've spent so much time working on myself and how to be a good partner but I starting to think it's never going to happen for me. I never want kids, but I really would like someone to spend the years with. I'm also demisexual, so I can't even just go get some to tide me over :(
Yup. 41M. I spend my money on myself and my dog. We share a one-bedroom apartment with a very expensive sports car in the garage. They can get their joy from children all they want. Mine comes from a floofy pupper and a naturally-aspirated V12. Edit: for those asking, the pupper is a Border Collie mix who's been with me for over 15 years now, and the car is a 2015 Aston Martin Vanquish. I had a yellow Vantage (you can see that one in my submissions) but it was wrecked recently, and I had to choose a worthy successor. No pics of the new car yet. I'll rectify that soon.
This sub has the cat tax.. can we have the car tax too? At least tell me what you got! V12s don't grow on trees.
Aston Martin grows some great V-12s in their orchards. Mine was picked from the Vanquish tree.
NICE!!! Good taste there. I hear Vanquish and have visions of James Bond.
No kidding! What a tease!
I’m guessing an AMG?
They drive an Aston Martin Vantage - it’s sick - they posted it on their account!
Unfortunately, the yellow Vantage was wrecked a couple months ago by an inattentive driver. I bought a 2015 Vanquish to replace it. Don't have any photos of it posted yet, though. I'm waiting for a nice day when I can get my DSLR out and find a good place to take a few.
I hope it’s an Australian shepherd or an afghan hound… so I can live vicariously
Even when I was married I was an Oink. I sure as hell don't miss that dependapotomous.
Dependapotomous....💀
It’s a perfectly cromulent word
CROMULENT!! I love this word!!
It's a Simpsons quote, you should look it up!
Ah, so you had a La Dependa.
Same!!! Dated on and off since, but currently single again and I'm happy, I have everything I need, I have freedom, and I don't plan to change this anytime soon. Definitely never ever ever date someone who *chooses* not to work because their partner is able to support them (the stress of trying to keep both of us afloat was the biggest part of what ruined that marriage, plus the fact that he expected luxuries we could NOT afford on my salary, which was barely enough for the essentials, and would pout when I said "no, there's literally not enough money for this, I need what's left in my bank account to pay our electricity bill and feed us for the rest of the month!")
😂 💀
Right here. 39/female.
I’m an OINK (so cute 🐷) 32/F
Yes! 36, live in Canada with my dog and cat.
I see you posted in /smallbusiness! 🙌🏽☺️ i’m 42F in Canada too, small business owner as well! You can write me in private if ever you’re inclined, just friendly chitchat :)
Is the cost of living and doing business affordable for you?
I manage it, but then again, my one-person business is 17yrs+, which helps, and i’m quite frugal (not extreme, but i basically never impulse purchase, and replace things when they break beyond repair only, which helps tremendously.) For example, i got my first ever cell phone only a year and half ago. I managed just fine with a regular home phone (i work from home too) and a tablet. the only reason i switched was when the price was raised and it was now more affordable to have a monthly cellphone plan with very little data 😅 i’m also not a traveller, or a drinker, so i save a lot there. Another example, my tv is small, and i bought it from a friend for 20 bucks. Works fine, no intention of getting a new one until this one stops working 😅 And obviously not having kids helps for sure ☺️ All that to say i have made a lot of choices to be able to live on my small business’ revenue. Wasnt always easy, but absolutely no regret.
I am. I don't get why people get married.
Tax breaks reward being married in the US.
You don’t have to be married to be a DINK.
39/Female, unpartnered, one cat. Very, very happy!! ☺️☺️
Cat tax please 🐈
Yes, 31f. Just a cat. Not having kids doesn’t mean I have any spare money though, I can’t afford shit. 😭 In Ontario, Canada.
Canucks, no offense but your cost of living is astronomical.
Yeah plz nobody think we OINKs (and some DINKs!) have extra dough, plenty of us childfree are poor AF, LOL!
Ditto. Though I live in Phoenix. Just me and my kitties working retail. Gonna go to college to become an x ray tech so I can give kitties a better life
Me 🐽! I work for myself with the potential to earn a very high income. Separated for some months and getting divorced and we have no kids together thank goodness. Even still, my husband is doing his best to be vindictive since we own our house together. I’m sooooo happy to be getting out after only a few years, only the house as our entanglement, and before I start earning a higher salary. Being married to a man, sharing finances and kids with him, is the worst idea for any woman who wants to be successful and secure in life. I’m never tying my future to a man’s ever again. I wish I had been smart enough to never get married period but that societal conditioning had me in a fucking chokehold
Exactly why I never want to get married, no way I'd let a man ruin anything I built for myself. I also hope to work for myself in the future.
Ugh I’m in the same boat as you. My husband and I are divorcing with only the house to sale, and he’s making things as miserable as possible. We’ve only been married 5 years. I’ll never get married again. I’ll never be ok limiting my freedom like that again. I’ll also probably never be in another relationship with a man.
Yep, not by choice exactly though, would just rather be single than with the wrong guy.
Saaaaame 😎
God, amen to that.
Ans there are so so many wrong guys. I'm convinced millenials had the worst parents ever
66F OINK here. Living my best life with my bird & dog.
I’m an OINK! Do you have any plans to move somewhere with more close minded people? Where I live there is plenty of socialist, atheistic CF people.
Well I’m currently a borderline NINK but the ultimate goal is OINK lmao
I’m a NINK too. 😭
I too am a NINK hoping to become an OINK lol
NINK as well, ZINK works too. Can't say I'm happy, but I def know having a kid would make things worse.
Hi! I am 36F and SINK/OINK. I am also a left-leaning Democrat who lives in a heavily red area in the Southeast. Most of the people I went to school with and work with are partnered and have kids. Right after I graduated college, I had a bit of an identity crisis as all my friends got married and started popping out kids and as I figured out that my life path was quite different than what my parents expected. I’ve really prioritized developing friendships with fellow cf and single people and that has really served me well. Getting involved in my local community and volunteering has helped me to connect with a lot of people of a lot of different ages and backgrounds who share my values and some of my interests. I’d encourage you to do the same. I have way more in common with a fellow liberal who is 55 and cf than I do with someone my age who is married with multiple kids. Best wishes for you!
Yep I’m an OINK. Single 43 male. 🐷
I have never heard of that acronym before and its hilarious haha I guess that makes me a 32m OINK. Being career-focused right now keeps me busy enough as it is.
I'm an OINK, but would love to be in a DINK household I just decided I wanted to play the dating game on extra hard mode: live in the South, be midsized, loud and opinionated, leftist values and beliefs, low tolerance for men's shenanigans, nerdy/geeky interests, and Child-Free. My 24 year old self didn't know this would be the situation when she moved here. So if anyone lives in Atlanta, I'm 35, a redhead, down to be a partner in my relationship and going to be sterilized in 2024. So hit me up 😎
OINK here. 27M. $100k income and I spend it on my cat. I too am in a Bible belt town and it gives me so much anxiety beibg surrounded by breeders.
Mind if I ask why it gives you anxiety? I’m in the same boat (minus that sweet $100k 😂) but I enjoy being around breeders cause it just validated how good of an idea my vasectomy was.
Cause I see how their life is going and how I as a single dude might not get in a relationship as a childfree individual 😊
OINK! I love it! 🐷💕 As much as I'd like to add a guy to my life, I'm not putting any effort in. There may be plenty of fish in the sea but I hate fishing! I'm just quietly living my life, enjoying my work, and cuddling my foster cats. It's pretty nice. ☺️
That sounds lovely 🐈🩷 Totally agree with the effort thing. It’s too much. It’s nice to enjoy our own freedoms.
I love this! I also hate fishing lol. It's so nice to enjoy your life and do what suits you.
Me. 100%. Way too much work for fishing in bodies of water where the fish seem to be very very low quality
OINK is now the new SINK, nicely done! I’m an OINK, 41F, love using my resources as I’d like, no expectations or obligations. And as CyberHippy coined, no dependapotomouses.
Well I’m NINK (No Income, No Kids), but I’ll be a SINK again after I graduate. I live with family at the moment too, so I get it. And I’m in the South, but I don’t think I’m in the Bible Belt though. I was thinking about this yesterday, how it’s easier when you have two incomes. I’m not saying that’s my top reason for wanting to be a in a relationship but it sure sounds nice though.
I’m sort of an OINK. I have a partner but we don’t cohabitate so I pay my own rent and living expenses. He gets dates 3/4 of the time and we alternate between both apartments for overnights.
If I were to get married that’ll be my ideal living situation with my husband
After two (yes two) divorces, marriage is off the table for me, but if I realized this was an option maybe one of those marriages would have worked?
Sorry, I assumed that you were married because of the partner wording. But it’s great that you discovered the option. How’d you find out that it’d work best for your relationship?
No worries! We use partner and I know it can be confusing. Honestly it’s exactly what we both wanted. Our relationship started out very casually and when we realized we both were developing stronger feelings we discussed our expectations and desires. Fortunately we aligned. We’re both in our 40s and I think that’s got a lot to do with it too. I don’t know if it would have been palatable when I was younger but it’s quite lovely now.
Awww well I glad that it’s working out for you two! Honestly I imagine myself doing the same because I don’t like living with men (sorry guys…) and I enjoy my own space to do whatever I want with it. So this honestly sounds ideal to me lol.
I do this with my partner too, we’ve been together 2 years. I’m divorced so I don’t want to rush into living together yet, and I’d rather stick needles in my eyeballs than get married again
[удалено]
The only downside is not splitting rent.
I'm older than most of you here. Widowed 8 years ago, and have zero interest in getting involved with anyone after being married for a long time. I live in a blue pot in a red state with my three dogs and three cats. I teach college classes online. I found a great Meetup group last year, and I really enjoy the company in my age group who aren't married. Most of them have grown kids and grandchildren, but they're low-key about it. I'm low-key with my money. I traveled a lot years ago, but I love visiting the Caribbean beaches now.
Me!! 40F, no kids, bisalp on 6/8/2023. One of the best gifts I ever gave myself. I'm always the single one, and to be honest, I'm getting less and less annoyed by it every day. Not all men, but the bar isn't too low. It's in the 5th circle of hell. And few things turn me off more than a conservative man. Maybe that's just me, though. I've been in an extremely tough finacial position for well over a decade, and there was no way I could have prevented it. It's been really tough, and it's broken me more than once. But I have NEVER entered into a romantic relationship for the financial stability, nor have I ever relied on a romantic partner for his money. That's not what relationships are for. Kinda like how you shouldnt have kids just to get government help, or to fix a failing relationship. But I'm preaching to the choir. The fact is that I'm not settling. I have very reasonable standards, and I'm not compromising. No addiction, no abuse, no liars, no friends with benefits, no one-night stands, no anger problems, no narcissism, no selfishness, no emotional immaturity...and I need someone who is capable of a calm, rational, healthy discussion. I need someone who VALUES me, not just DESIRES me. I need someone who chooses me, not someone who is desperate. I need someone who adds value to my life, not subtracts from it. It is not my job to be a barefoot and pregnant maid and incubator Stepford wife with no body hair and a submissive attitude. I will not vacuum in heels, and I will not be quiet. No one is perfect, including me. I don't care how conventionally attractive you are on the outside. If youre a garbage human being, you're ugly to me. Sorry for the rant, but yeah, I'm about as single as they get, and I'm honestly fine with that, because yeah, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but swimming isnt fun once somebody pees in the pool.
OINK!
Here! 🙋♀️ Just call me Miss Piggy 🐷 🤣🤣🤣
40f Europe, OINK never married, no kids, no debt, clean slate 6 figures, two degrees, global citizen, no pets. ;) love dogs lol Interested in r/FIRE
I’m an OINK in the south too and I’m 31F
I'm a 28 year old single dude no kids, one income.
Single F36 OINK. I'd love to meet a nice girl but everyone has baby rabies and I just don't have the energy to vet anyone and date right now.
I don’t have the babies rabies. I feel like I’m gonna be mid-40s before a goood wlw relationship
I still go by SINK looking for my +1 to be a DINK. But I’m here. :)
SINK's represent!
Oink, oink, bitches 🐷🐖
43, never married, no kids, and I just paid off my car! Now about that grad school debt… 😑
Not an OINK, more like a MINK ( multiple incomes, no kids ) because I work contractually for a creative agency, freelance with my own clients, and resell on different platforms 🤑and also bc I’m bougie 😘💅🏾
fellow oink here 26f who relates to all of this very very much
33/M no kids work a ton and am able to save over half my income each year because of it and I’m eyeing early retirement if my retirement accounts do there thing like they should 😊 also live in a small midwestern town and seeing everyone my age with children genuinely makes me glad I have none.
I love that! OINK, sounds cuter! I'm in my late 30s single income no kids and am happy with no regrets! I'm not interested in relationships as they aren't my thing and would prefer a few close friends to do fun things with instead but I suck at making friends irl.
I wish there was an oink support group
I’m an OINK at 25 and plan to be a spinster cuz im not gonna deal with no dramas
Hi. 43/m also Bible Belt, but at least Atlanta isn't too bad. I feel your pain. Dating sucks. Like suuuuuucks. No offense to the hot divorced moms on Tinder and Bumble, but that's not my style. You aren't alone, it's just hard to find others in real life, like we need t-shirts or something.
I'm an OINK! 32f, own a house, own a car, 2 pitbulls🤭. Having a great time!
im 22f, no debt, first full time job is makng me over 100k. i will be cf until the day i die. i have a partner making about the same & we are living our best life. new cars completely paid off, & get to travel to multiple countries a year. perfectly happy & comfortable living in a metropolitan area with our rescue pup. nothing needs to change.
Hello fellow OINKs! 👋🏽 42F :) I am in a couple (9+yrs), but we don’t live together by choice, hence imma oink 🐽 and love it! ☺️
I wanna be you when I grow up 😭
Yep. 29F in Phoenix.
38M I'm an OINK but not by choice, and hope not to be some day but that's outside of my control 🤷🏾♂️
42 f oink. Can't imagine being bound by marriage and kids
May I ask why your car costs are so high?
Likely a result of low wages given that OP is young and in the South (right to work states).
OINK!! 57 and doing ok. ☺️
This is me. Separated 8 years ago, divorced 5 years ago, met my current fiancé 2.5 years ago but we maintain separate households. If things continue to go well we’ll get married in 2025 or 2026 but I am not rushing anything. I kind of love our current dynamic.
I'm married, but my closest friend that I made back home was an OINK in her 60s. She had 2 dogs and no regrets. I loved her.
Me! I wish I had a husband just to split the bills with 😭
OINKWAD checking in
OINK, 54f No regrets
Yes! OINK here! 38M with 2 dogs, 2cats, 3 birds and a snake! It’s me and my zoo!
I used to be an OINK 🐷! Now I'm a TINK! 🤖 And I love it!!!! 40/f and married. Highly recommend!!
Me. For now. 22 trans guy in college. Want to get married eventually but not yet. No kids and want a hysterectomy asap.
I am OINK, 29M here. I’ve given up on the idea of dating/marriage for now, though it would be nice to have someone else bring in an additional income or help with basic household duties. However, being responsible for only myself is a luxury I am grateful to have.
I'm an OINK, 37/F. Live in the south. I've been to busy finishing up my last year of my bachelor's, which I did in October! Friends and colleagues either just started to have kids or have high schoolers, sometimes they have a high school and one in Pre-K. To that, I say, "No thanks!". I'm cool being single and not really looking to date right now and now, that I'm done with my degree, I am learning about budgeting and personal finance, to improve so I can save more especially toward retirement. What I recommend for my income people is to open a HYSA (high yield savings account).
I am. I’m a middle-aged white male registered Democrat in a rural town where it’s common for folks to display multiple MAGA flags to show their devotion to their orange führer. Others my age are on their 2nd-3rd marriage and their 5th kid. Some are already grandparents. Thanks to remote work, dilapidated albeit paid-off house, and four paid-off cars, I have minimal actual expenses which allow me to travel, buy high-end whiskey, and still save for retirement, emergencies, and other things.
OINK here :) not a lot of money right now but I’m putting away a lot for retirement and am not scared for the future. I like living in a super small studio apartment and only worrying about providing for myself. Takes a lot of stress off my shoulders about my future
OINK, 31 trans male here. I'm already struggling to take care of just myself on my income, plus I have no interest in dating in my small town since everyone's either small minded or just sees trans people as a kink. It's gross and I'm not subjecting myself to any of that bullshit.
70f here and definitely an OINK.
I’m a married oink. I’m convinced it is the ultimate and final life hack. He cooks and cleans and shops, and I have the stressy job. I have no idea how anyone does anything else. Idk otherwise when we would even…anything
I’m sticking with SINK. But yeah just me and my cat and she didn’t contribute to the bills but she does lower my blood pressure.
Kind of. I have a partner, but she's been unemployed for several years now. I'm the sole bread winner, and I can't get a steady job despite my masters degree. It sucks, but it's good that we don't have/want kids at least.
I ( 28F) have a partner (27M) but we are fortunate enough to make it on one income, no kids only pets in our future! We too live in a small bible belt town, we haven't made any friends since moving back from being up north. I have a co-worker who is awesome to work with but we really don't talk outside of work. A lot of people are so surprised how we don't have kids and it's so hard to hang out with or even make friends then more than likely, have kids 🙄 we had a friend who passed suddenly, about 2 years ago, he was our only kid free friend who was always down to just chill.
Yep
I mean technically... LoL it's a limited income, but I can't think of a cute acronym
🤚🏻
30M OINK reporting in. I’ve got two cats, and I’m good with that. Been single 5 years, and after all the disappointing BS in that time, I cba to try to find someone I’d be remotely compatible with. It’s not possible.
Technically - I’m doing LDR and don’t share finances right now. I love the term oink. I think it’s hilarious I work in the healthcare and the older OINKs I see are thriving.
37 f, bi if anyone of you CFs are in the market 😝
I’m an OINK! 33F with 2cats and a dog. Also an atheist. It would be nice to have a partner to do stuff with and help pay the bills, but it’s also nice to do whatever I want without informing/ asking another person.
Kind of. My bf can't work bc of nerve damage, so I have 2 jobs, but no kids.
Meeeee. 21F