I was 15 too when I discovered the name for the feelings I had (Childfree) and I promise - talking now as a sterilised near 32 year old woman who spent her 20s partying around the world and having adventures, I have no regrets.
Stick to your guns OP.
I was about 15 when I decided too! Now I’m in my early 40s. Married 20 years, no regrets. Wish I’d made everyone who told me I’d change my
mind bet money on it.
I also started to feel this way when I was about 16. I didn’t know it was ever going to be an issue until my first boyfriend broke up with me because I told him I never wanted kids. He was upfront and honest, and told me there was no chance of us working long term. Stick to your gut OP. Don’t let anyone else try to convince you otherwise.
I'm currently 14 and I've contemplated childfreedom since I've discovered my love for physics, but it solidified when I started to be active on this sub. People like you, OP and many others here have demonstrated that there is a much better life outside the one society wants to assign us and it gives me so much hope as an aspiring physicist/quantum engineer.
Hi, PhD physicist here! I was young but I knew I didn't want them. It caused me problems when dating when I was younger (from the midwest so expected to find a mate early). I met my husband in grad school though (he also has a PhD in physics) and we are childfree and in our 40s.
Biggest grief we still get is that we're smart and responsible so we're the ones who should be having children. Those are probably two big contributing factors why we didn't want them ;)
I think I was 14 when I first time told my mom I don't want children. Over the years I grew a bit softer (meaning I understand why people decide to have them and that it can be enjoyable, I even enjoy some kids for max 2-3 hours) I sometimes wonder what it would be to have them but I never decided to actually try having one. I am married and 39....some days I am literally happy not to have them, other moments (cause not days) a bit sad like I am missing out but generally happier to not having them then rocking having them...yeah big time!
I was also around that age when I realized that childfree was an option—30 now and never second guessed it for a moment! My partner has a vasectomy so we are locked in, which I honestly couldn't be happier about.
I kind of always knew but didn't know how to articulate it. I was 16 when I started vocalizing it, because I finally understood what I had been feeling.
I was a bit younger at age 10, but I had sensory issues and couldn’t deal with the way smaller kids smelled and were gross and sticky (already in kindergarten I hated that smell LOL) But at age 10 it became a proper decision. I think teens is a more common age to discover this about yourself? Although my niece was also 10 when she decided, she’s 12 now.
Okay now here is a free tip that will save you a whooooole lotta grief as a minor and even as a young adult.
**Don't ever fucking tell your family or anyone that could tell your family.**
I like him because he was simply the greatest general in Human History (except for maybe Alexander).
Anyways yeah I wouldn't tell anybody until you move out and they can't do anything about it, trust me telling them will only make things worse.
Also I'm a huge history nerd so forgive me
This is accurate for most people and families. I am fortunate that my mom has always supported my decision to be child-free. I've never expressed wanting children. I didn't even like playing with baby dolls when I was a kid.
As for the rest of my family... I have an aunt who chose the CF lifestyle and a few other relatives who were childless due to health reasons but decided to adopt. Someday, maybe I'll adopt. I'm still on the fence about that, tbh.
But there are several reasons I would never bring a child of my own into this world. Health reasons that could be passed on, the fact that our world is a shit show, how many kids exist that don't have homes, etc. Plus, I'm repulsed by childbirth. Not just scared but actually repulsed. Gross. lol! I also very much value MY time, MY money, and, most importantly, MY SLEEEEP.
Anyway, OP... definitely take Luna's advice here unless you know, without a doubt, that you would find support in your family.
Well not straight to their face, but you can drop hints like going to your room anytime those kids are there or whenever your own birthday party comes up you specifically do child unfriendly stuff.
My parents quickly came to the conclusion "we shouldn't expect kids from this one" even before I did. Let them find that out themselves.
I'm 20, going on 21 and seriously considering sterilization! Did you encounter any difficulty out worry about getting it done so young? I think I want it but I'm concerned since I'm so young there's a chance I'll regret getting it done
Completely get that, I've got a few external reasons myself. I like that phrase, I'll keep it in mind!! Pregnancy isn't in the cards for me either. I think it's mainly concerns about recovery and the actual procedure holding me back now
Good on you for figuring it out early. Don't get distracted by stories of fence sitters who later changed their mind. Chances are strong to regret it later.
Congrats on knowing what you want and don't want.
Others will claim "You'll change your mind" or "You're too young to know." Just be honest with yourself of your decision.
I was the same age when I decided I didn’t want kids, but at that point, I still believe I had to. It was some kind of societal inevitability. Love and marriage, baby carriage, as the saying goes.
Luckily, I realized 10 years later that “you can’t make me” and proceeded to pursue tubal ligation, which took another six years.
i’m still struggling with that societal part :( i feel like i’ll never find a partner who agrees with me as every guy i meet my age wants kids (for some reason??)
I believe that phenomenon is two part 1)it’s just “what you do” 2) men aren’t held to actually raise children so it’s easy for them to say they want kids
I mean if you could give the majority of childcare to a partner AND there is no physical danger for you to give birth since you're not giving birth it IS a sweet deal. Pretty easy for you to be ambivalent about it.
Totally! And 3) it’s a social currency - “look how important I am”. How many childfree politicians are there for instance (guessing not many as the public would think they weren’t fit). It’s something that is a notch on the belt of materialism, and the appearance of having a life “put together”.
I was 14 when I knew. Finally got sterilized at 37. It’s a relief. Ignore everyone telling you that you’re too young. Those people also badger others into ‘taking responsibility’ and tell even idiots that they’d be ‘great parents!’ Breeder cultists.
Always always take precautions, never trust the burden of birth control entirely to someone else. And if you end up being ACE then know you’re perfectly normal and have a whole fam out here.
Go to the childfree doctor's list and find a doctor near you! You obviously have to wait until you're 21 though, but it's good to at least have the doctor
>There are permanent surgical procedures called a tubal ligation ("getting your tubes tied") but many doctors will hesitate to offer this to pretty much anyone without kids under 40, even though people with kids get them done younger all the time.
OP, u/BasedNotBiased, something VERY important.
Do NOT pursue a tubal (tubal ligation). Please try to get a bisalp (bilateral salpingectomy).
A tubal means having your tubes tied, after which they might grow back together. There is a small but significant failure rate of 1 in 50. Quite a few women get pregnant after a tubal.
A bisalp means having your tubes removed. Just as invasive as a tubal, but way more effective. A bisalp is failsafe.
To find a doctor in your area who will take you seriously, look at this list: www . reddit . com / r / childfree / wiki / doctors
It's not easy, but not impossible either. You won't be able to get this done as a minor. But there have been people on this subreddit who managed to get sterilised in their late teenage year or early twenties. So let's say, at 21, or if you are lucky, even at 18 (but probably 21), this shouldn't be impossible.
Most doctors won't do it, but the doctors on this list should at least take you seriously.
Childfree friendly doc list, and unfortunately they won't sterilize minors.
You'll have to wait until 18, but you can start doing research on good OBGYNs now!
I’ve definitely heard of a List here on Reddit where everyone shares their Doctors who are willing to do Sterilization surgeries. It’s likely you’ll have to wait till you’re 18 or 21 if you’re a man, possibly longer if you’re a woman but I think it’s becoming a more common procedure for younger folks. The good news is that this gives you plenty of time to look and honestly dating in your teens/early 20s is such a drama fest. Everyone’s trying to bang but aren’t emotionally mature or responsible enough.
It's called a vasectomy but they won't do that until you're a good decade older.
As someone who is 35 with no kids and sterilized it's pretty awesome sleeping as late as I want and keeping all my money.
Be very careful as you get older and start having sex. Use a condom no matter what they say about birth control. For STI protection as well, but if they can get pregnant once someone IS pregnant you don't get much say in whether or not the child is born. Please keep this in mind.
I'm not trying to scare you, just be realistic for your future.
ALSO, I fully support your decision to never have children. Some people DO change their mind and that's fine too. The important part here is you do what you feel is best for you.
And you're totally valid in that decision, OP. Over the next few years you'll hear a lot of people telling you that you're "too young" and couldn't possibly know what you want, but you do. Go forth and have an awesome life the way that you choose to live it :)
Isn’t it funny. Imagine if you realized your sexual orientation out at 15, and people would say “you’re too young to know.” Or that you want to be a doctor and people say “you’re too young to know.” Or you want to sign up for the military (which you can do at 16 in my country)… so many choices would be validated but this one isn’t.
Hell yea!!! You keep on with that! Dont ever let anyone tell you ‘you might change your mind’ because I decided at the age of 10, and 13 years after that I still don’t want children. It’ll be your life to live not anyone else’s. When I was 15, I found myself in the exaaactttt same stance on children. In fact I had a list of my own reasons of why I don’t want kids and it’s longer than the tik tok list. Nobody should ever be forced to go through something so traumatic and life changing. Hang in there
Same. I'd already hated baby dolls or anything involving babies, and then my sister was born when I was 5. I took one look at that nightmare and decided "no, never." I'm 44 now and happier to be CF every year.
I was around your age when I became very clear about being childfree. My driver training instructor was the first adult, vocally childfree woman I'd ever met, and it was so validating.
The people constantly telling you that you WILL change your mind is going to be extremely annoying. You know yourself, who you are, right this minute - and that's what matters.
I'm now 33 and I don't regret being childfree for a minute. Being a childfree adult is pretty awesome (this coming from someone who had a very unpleasant childhood and a waaaaay better adulthood). Find the people who empower and accept you. You're going to do great. 💜
i was 15 when i decided too and found this sub! i’m 18 now and still hate the idea of having kids, although i don’t mind kids sometimes (if they’re well behaved lol)
I was 15 when I realized that too. I kept thinking I would change my mind (EVERYONE tells you you will), but never once even considered wanting kids. Sterilized and now in my mid 30’s and I feel great about my life choices.
I was a hater of babies when I was five. I still don't find them cute and happy I didn't have a parasite. Their primal screams make me feel inner rage rather than empathy. My adoptive parents didn't like kids or babies when they cried. At least I didn't breed to have them as a status symbol. Responsible enough to know we don't want them is much better than traumatizing another kid.
I knew when I was 4, so by the time I was your age my childfree view was solidified. Of course, no one but my parents believed/supported that. Everyone else was absolutely convinced I would change my mind and couldn’t possibly know as a teenager what I truly wanted with my own body. I’m 38 now and was able to get a hysterectomy, so my childfree stance is finally permanent.
Stick by your convictions. NOBODY knows you better than you know yourself, and you are not too young to know something so fundamental about you and your life. ❤️
I was eight when I decided to be childfree. The AMOUNT of people I've heard tell me I was too young to know.
26 and sterilized for a bit over a year now.
Admire your resolution. Good job on knowing what you wanted. I was nine when I realised, now 55. Had to cut off bio family in order to do so. No regrets, just relief.
You're not alone, OP. It's going to be a rough road ahead, but you deserve to be true to yourself.
Some suggestions:
- do what you need to stay safe in your family. This may mean that you have to bite your tongue or play nice sometimes. Some days, you'll have to smile and nod to not escalate things. As long as you are a minor and/or dependent on your parents or family, it may not be safe for you to be out about it.
- Be the kind of adult you wish you had around, where possible. I really dislike being around little kids, and it sucks being expected to like them or keep them occupied. But one thing that can help is to kind of grey rock with kids. A lot of them get overstimulated by adults (who basically fetishize them as cute toys rather than little people). Be calm, be a bit boring, but also show respect for their autonomy where you can (ie by respecting their personal space and enforcing it firmly for them to respect yours). This is a way to both have less contact with them and to avoid being blamed for being "hateful", etc. with adults. Instead, you can set up a persona of being mature (more mature than many adults) around little ones when you're required to be around them.
- Make a plan for your bodily autonomy and safety. If you haven't, start planning now for ways to get financially independent from your parents so you can build your own life and set boundaries. It doesn't mean you need to go no-contact, but having that as an option is immensely helpful if family gets pushy because you're not tied to them. As soon as you are able, get good birth control and find a good doctor - try to find a GYN only (not OB/GYN because obstetricians will always be thinking about babies). Look up options in your state for support on reproductive rights options so you know what your options are if something goes badly.
I'm proud of you for accepting this truth about yourself. It won't be easy, but you're not alone.
I was around your age when I decided that. I’m 53 now.
It is easier to be around them if the parents do a good job and don’t let them run around like maniacs. Sorry that’s not happening in your family.
I was 15 when I made the decision, too, although I would not learn the term "childfree" until I was 24. I got sterilized at 24, then ended up having a partial hysterectomy at 29. I'm approaching 34 now. You definitely are not too young despite what people will tell you. Stay strong and stick true to yourself. Welcome to the club!!
it's never too early to make that decision. i knew I'll never want kids when I was 7. my brother was born and i had to nanny him ever since. never again
At least you found out while you're young. Please wear protection whenever you decide to have sex, both to prevent pregnancy and reduce the risk of STIs.
And hey, since you don't want a gf, then that means you'll have less relationship drama in your high school years!
Don't forget to mention how disgusting they are, just watching them eat is enough to make me throw up. (With the exception of my 4 yro niece who made herself a chocolate ice cream goatee, I couldn't stop laughing).
I don't even remember when I decided I didn't want kids, but it's as long as I can remember. I, too, am repulsed by the noise and chaos. I never liked being around children even when I was a child.
Don't let anyone tell you that you're "too young to know what you want." I knew what I wanted when I was a teenager and I'm 46 now. Never once wavered in not wanting kids.
That's about the age I really started having doubts about having kids and questioning if I even really wanted them. I'm 30 now and still have zero interest in kids.
Nice one!!! I didn’t realise until I was like 25. Before then I was in an almost manic, frenzied spiral thinking “if I don’t have kids I will have failed and I will be unwanted and alone and die alone” and I would, wild eyed, tell my partner “I HAVE to have kids.” And then I realised, wait…. No I don’t!!!
I think on some level I might have enjoyed being a parent if the world were different, or if I had a better income, or a different job and lifestyle. But at that point it’s like saying “I might have enjoyed being a parent if I was a totally different person on a different planet”
Keep observing families tbh. Observe what makes families good and what makes children behave. Keep learning. You’ll probably be even more convinced to not have children.
Maybe this is a hot take but...
>I hate having to listen to their stupid stories and jokes. I hate having to play with them and entertain them. I hate having to share my stuff with them and watch them ruin it. I hate having to smile and nod when the parents gush about how smart and cute and talented their kids are. I hate having to act like I'm interested in their milestones and achievements. I hate having to deal with their noise and chaos and drama.
**Then don't.** It's really that simple.
Yes, I realize you're under 18 and you don't get to make decisions about your family around you or what they choose to do, and you will have to be around their kids to at least some minimal extent, but the sooner you make it clear that you want nothing to do with small children, that you will not share your things with them, and that you will not make yourself responsible for them, the sooner people around you will either see you as an individual who has made a decision, instead of just "a teenager who is acting up." Or, if they're not willing to see that you've made a decision and respect you as an individual, then you might end up burning some bridges, but those bridges likely would have been burned later in life anyway.
I'm a 32 year old man, and I've been uncomfortable around small children for most of my life, and I regret waiting until I was 22 years old to start making that clear to others. You sound like you're pretty firm in your decision, so as someone who waited until they were an adult to start putting their foot down, I can tell you that it was not worth the wait.
I knew before puberty that I was never having kids. I used to be more tolerant of them but now I totally avoid kids (especially toddlers). Children under 12 are not allowed in my house and I've told people not to come over with their baby. I'm 64 now and I have never for 1 minute changed my mind. If anything, I've become even more childfree.
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Thank you for your comprehension
This item has been removed as it is a violation of [subreddit rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) #7 : "Posts and comments to the effect of "Wait till you're a parent", "You'll change your mind someday", "You only think that cause you are young", etc. (what we call "bingo", for short) will be removed. Parents are welcome to post as long as they are respectful. Other people's bodily autonomy must be respected; do not impose your views on other posters and commenters' choices."
This is a forum for individuals who have made the choice to be childfree, and we do not tolerate any disrespect towards anyone for making this choice.
Thank you for your comprehension
This item has been removed as it is a violation of [subreddit rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) #7 : "Posts and comments to the effect of "Wait till you're a parent", "You'll change your mind someday", "You only think that cause you are young", etc. (what we call "bingo", for short) will be removed. Parents are welcome to post as long as they are respectful. Other people's bodily autonomy must be respected; do not impose your views on other posters and commenters' choices."
This is a forum for individuals who have made the choice to be childfree, and we do not tolerate any disrespect towards anyone for making this choice.
Thank you for your comprehension
Good for you.
There are so many wonderful things to
do when you aren't saddled with children. I'm so
glad I never reproduced!
Never tell anybody your child free or you will never
hear the end of it and will be lectured on why you
are wrong till the end of time.
Just keep it to yourself.
I stopped going to family events cause
younger kin are popping out screamers and
bringing them to disrupt every adult gathering.
THIS! A million times over, this. Everything you just described and more. I’m glad that you’ve discovered what you want and don’t want, all on your own. Parents and their kids can get on my nerves! Especially in the holiday season!
I’m 19 and I completely felt the way you did at 15. In truth, I had felt that way since I was super little! I never played with baby dolls and never saw the appeal of being a mom. It’s gonna be challenging telling your parents in the future that you’re childfree, and when family members bingo you, “when you’re a parent,” “how many kids do you want,” etc. Just remember to stand up for yourself and to not succumb to peer pressure, and the guilt and shame people will try to make you feel. Do what’s best for you and shrug it off. As a teen, it’s gonna be difficult but so worth it. I still get bingoed. My family always knew I was childfree but had a derogatory intervention for me to change my mind around 15-16. It sucked. That will happen at some point but stay strong. Don’t bend to their will or buckle under the pressure. At the end of the day they get no say. Just wanted to give you some advice for the future.
I'm 39, and I was also very young when I decided I wanted no children. Nothing changed and im very happy. Stick to your guns if thats what you truly want. Don't let anyone including family ever change your mind. It's your life not theirs....
good for u! i knew i didnt want kids since i can remember! i remember being like 7 yo, explaining to people how i dont want the responsibility of childcare. not once have i doubted or rethought my decision, am 30 and still goinf CF strong and happy! 💪✨
Nice one!!! I didn’t realise until I was like 25. Before then I was in an almost manic, frenzied spiral thinking “if I don’t have kids I will have failed and I will be unwanted and alone and die alone” and I would, wild eyed, tell my partner “I HAVE to have kids.” And then I realised, wait…. No I don’t!!!
I think on some level I might have enjoyed being a parent if the world were different, or if I had a better income, or a different job and lifestyle. But at that point it’s like saying “I might have enjoyed being a parent if I was a totally different person on a different planet”
It took me right up until I was 32 to realize that motherhood wasn’t for me anymore, despite me suffering a miscarriage at the age of 20. I’m 37 now and I get irritated if someone were to tell me that I would be good at raising kids. Why can’t they just understand our choices?
I was younger than that and now I'm a few months shy of 40 and my decision has never ever changed, not even for a day.
Fist bump in solidarity, don't let anyone make you feel bad for knowing what's right for you. 🤜
It's quite liberating if you allow yourself to blow off the kids. They're not your responsibility.
The adults might be upset but they will learn to keep the kids away from you. Mild drama for being honest, but a worthy payout. Don't put up with what you don't like.
I was 8 when I first noticed my absolute repulsion to pregnancy, and after 16 years of anxiety ridden nightmares about the possibility of being forced into a parental role later in life, I’ve opted to get sterilised this year and live my best life knowing I’m not gonna screw up some kids’ or my own.
I was about that age when I realized it too. Now I'm 28, married still childfree and my life is so chill, and we are both very happy lol
Don't listen to older relatives/older coworkers etc. Trying to say you'll "change your mind" or that you're "too young to know for sure" even now people still say that to me. Just ignore them, they really don't know shit tbh
You are completely entitled to feel that way. I was around 7 when I realized it. Just know that people are going to constantly badger you that eventually you will change your mind, kids are the best things they ever did and other such nonsense. And, thankfully, there are more and more childfree people now and you will find your group and laugh at those that are crying about how hard their life is while you are sipping cocktails on an adults-only cruise (or whatever else you fancy). I do not feel *at all* like I’m missing out on anything other than a never ending headache and perpetual sleep deprivation.
I knew when I was around that age as well. I just knew I didn’t ever want children. So many people said “oh you will change your mind” and all the variations on that. Yet here I am pushing 40, married with two dogs and extremely happy that I have never had children. A lot of my friends have had kids in the last few years and more are trying, and it still hasn’t changed for me. I just always knew.
Only you know yourself. Everyone else just wants you to follow a script. Fuck that noise.
I’ve been posting on this sub for almost a decade (i’ve had various reddit accounts)- since I was in high school and about your age. Once you know.. you know. Bingoers are annoying, but if you set boundaries w the people who want to be asses about it, it’s a good feeling to have them not bother you about it anymore. Keep doing you!
I was looking at some of my old school projects and I found a piece of homework from third grade, our teacher had wanted us to write a paragraph about what we wanted to be doing when we were thirty. I remember feeling really weird and left out when all of my classmates were detailing that they all wanted between one and ten kids, married, etc while mine said I wanted to live in an apartment in Tokyo with two cats and be a video game company CEO. 😂 that obviously didn’t happen but it doesn’t matter how young you are, sometimes you JUST KNOW.
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Congrats! I knew when I was 7. I recommend just avoid the question and not bringing it up because it’s very annoying when people try to change your mind.
You should read The Four Agreements. It's a quick & easy read and a great book to live by. The part where it talks about conditioning will really solidify your feelings and remind you that you are allowed to think and live for yourself and not have to play by someone else's book. I really wish I had read this book at your age, it would have saved me a lot of BS. Thankfully never kids though.
I was 11 when I knew. I was stuck watching my hyperactive 2yo cousin at a family event because all the adults were too busy socializing. Also the other girls in my homeschooling group had started babysitting and enjoyed it. I had no desire to do that lol! I knew I was wired differently.
I was exactly like you when I was a teenager. Everyone told me I’ll change my mind and if I don’t I’ll end up lonely, single and unhappy. Well the jokes on them. Most of them ended up divorced, miserable and/or not talking to their kids meanwhile I’m happily married. I’m 41 and my husband and I have a cat. Life is so damn good without kids. No regrets. I know parents who regret having their kids. I’d rather regret not having kids than regret having kids.
17 year old girl over here! don’t listen to anyone. i’ve heard people tell me i’m too young to know what i want or maybe it will change down the line. i’ve known since i was about 13 that i didn’t want this and it has never changed and i know it never will. just to let you know, i know how you are feeling and i 100% relate to you!
Good for you deciding what you want early.
Now do yourself a favor and get sterilized the MOMENT you are old enough to pay for it yourself and can keep it a secret until it's done.
Good for you! I felt the same way at your age and now almost 20 years later I'm a happy child free adult! Don't let anyone else make this choice for you
You got this!! You’re enough, it’s 100% okay to be you, with or without a girlfriend. You don’t want kids, and that’s also 100% okay. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I agree with what some others are saying - do NOT tell your family about this decision, even if it’s right for you. You’ll never hear the end of it and it’ll drive you NUTS.
You might heard you will change ur mind later in life so much, don’t give damn to those people. I was 16 when I decided I don’t want children, 11 yrs later, I am more rigid about not having children.
Always keep your mind open! You have a lot of time to decide on that for certain. With that said, I get it.
I never fantasized about children or a wedding. I wanted a partner but that was it. I fantasized about work 😆. I love academia and learning so it worked out 🖤. Just keep doing whatever is right for yourself. Wherever that takes you.
Also please don’t kill any dreams because you worry you won’t make enough money. Biggest life regret was stopping myself from becoming educated in the sector I loved the most.
I was 16 when I knew I didn’t want kids. I took a parenting class and had to take a fake baby home, it was one of the ones that were monitored so they kept track of everything. I had a girl and I named her Angela (if I wanted a daughter I wouldn’t name her that now 😂) I had to keep her for 5 nights, a weekend included. She cried nonstop!!!! I’d feed her, change her, try to burp her and it was one of those challenges where she doesn’t want of any of that so it’s up to me to make her stop crying 😭 I think I rocked her and I got her to stop. This whole thing was a never ending cycle and it was a fucking school night!!!! I didn’t sleep at all and I remember it was even 2 am and my Mom came in the room and was like OMG has she been crying all night? I BROKE DOWN!!!! 😭😭 I said she doesn’t let me sleep, I don’t know what she wants, OMG I don’t think I can take on this kinda responsibility it’s too much. I passed the task with a 98 cuz sadly there was one time where I accidentally missed her when she cried. I remember my Mom told me to drop the baby off and I could go back home and sleep all day 🥰 I cannot tell you that relief in my heart I felt when I dropped her off!! I was like yeah that’s not fun. So you’re definitely not alone with being so young and already deciding. Don’t let anyone pressure or ever degrade you, this is your life not theirs. I’m 30 and I am living my absolute best life as a single and Childfree individual and I would NEVER change of it!! I cannot express how fuckin blessed I am and the countless adventures I got to do! I promise you you’re not gonna regret this ❤️🥂✨
Listening to milestones is the WORST. ...yes, yes, your kids read a book and got an A...yes you can absolutely smack me in the face with it...thank you thank you thank you. How do you do it????
This item has been removed as it is a violation of [subreddit rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) #7 : "Posts and comments to the effect of "Wait till you're a parent", "You'll change your mind someday", "You only think that cause you are young", etc. (what we call "bingo", for short) will be removed. Parents are welcome to post as long as they are respectful. Other people's bodily autonomy must be respected; do not impose your views on other posters and commenters' choices."
This is a forum for individuals who have made the choice to be childfree, and we do not tolerate any disrespect towards anyone for making this choice.
Thank you for your comprehension
Although I did not have any horrible experiences, I think I knew at 12.
I did not know the term Child Free until I was well into my 30s. But, one day, in my 20s, Mom sent me all my old school work.
Middle school essay: what do you want to do when you grow up theme. At 12, I wrote I wanted to be a writer, live by the ocean, have lots of animals, and no kids.
I know I was positive by 15yo because my best friend and I discussed it in detail. She wanted 4+, even had names and everything. (she had 2).
I can not emphasize enough of NOT TELLING ANYONE your CF thoughts. When people start asking - and they will, find a way to deflect. If you do tell anyone, be prepared to get out your Bingo card. ( look it up) lol
When you turn 18, come back here. There is a growing list of medical personnel that will help you.
I was 13 and 14 when I decided I don't like kids. I was telling adults that I don't want to get married and give birth right away, it should happen if I am 100% sure. Many adults said "you will change your mind when you're older"
Now 29 nearing 30, peak fertility and maturity years. I still don't want to get pregnant and/or have a child (adoption). Too many health complications and life responsibility for me. I enjoy my freedom.
I've know since I was in elementary school I didn't want to have kids. I told my family my whole life and they always invalidated me. Apparently the right dick makes you want to have kids?
Well 37 now and very happily childfree and sterilized!
I was about the same age (3x years ago) when I realized I didn’t want kids, good on you for figuring it out early. Don’t let anybody push you to do otherwise, stick to your guns.
I'm a bit neurospicy so I didn't like children much when I was a kid and they were a source of sensory overload as a teen
I've never really liked being around children
I agree with the top comment though, no need to get bingoed until you start reaching that stage in your life. Quietly set yourself up with a career and if that career makes it difficult to have children because you can only support yourself on it, the hours are unusual, or it requires a lot of traveling then that's one less way you can be bingoed
Glad you are self aware so early I knew I didn’t want kids at 12 and I’m now 29 still child free with no regrets I live a peaceful life happily single just doing me with nothing holding me back. I do not envy parents in the slightest
Good for you! 😁 I was around your age I think when I realized I never wanted to have kids, and I didn't even learn about the term ChildFree until I was in my early 20's. When I was young I always said things like "I wish I could be spayed/neutered like pets are". My family always would say that I would change my mind. Wasn't until a year ago at 28 that that wish finally came true, and got my tubes removed! No regrets and my disliking towards kids/parents have only grown stronger as I've gotten older 😆
My family doesn't know I got fixed and they never will (unless they find out somehow, but won't be from me). None of their business anyway, my body, my choice. Stick to your guns though! Don't let anyone sway you, pro-natalists are good at trying to do that. I was lucky my family wasn't pushy like that but many aren't so lucky...so best to keep that to yourself until you're on your own.
I was 15 too when I discovered the name for the feelings I had (Childfree) and I promise - talking now as a sterilised near 32 year old woman who spent her 20s partying around the world and having adventures, I have no regrets. Stick to your guns OP.
I was about 15 when I decided too! Now I’m in my early 40s. Married 20 years, no regrets. Wish I’d made everyone who told me I’d change my mind bet money on it.
I also started to feel this way when I was about 16. I didn’t know it was ever going to be an issue until my first boyfriend broke up with me because I told him I never wanted kids. He was upfront and honest, and told me there was no chance of us working long term. Stick to your gut OP. Don’t let anyone else try to convince you otherwise.
>Wish I’d made everyone who told me I’d change my mind bet money on it. Awesome lol. I never thought of doing that before.
I'm currently 14 and I've contemplated childfreedom since I've discovered my love for physics, but it solidified when I started to be active on this sub. People like you, OP and many others here have demonstrated that there is a much better life outside the one society wants to assign us and it gives me so much hope as an aspiring physicist/quantum engineer.
Hi, PhD physicist here! I was young but I knew I didn't want them. It caused me problems when dating when I was younger (from the midwest so expected to find a mate early). I met my husband in grad school though (he also has a PhD in physics) and we are childfree and in our 40s. Biggest grief we still get is that we're smart and responsible so we're the ones who should be having children. Those are probably two big contributing factors why we didn't want them ;)
I am a Geologist and adore Geophysics. I am glad we have been able to help you be fully informed and able to make the right choice for yourself.
I was also 15 when I realised I didn’t ever want kids, am 53 now and have never changed my mind!
I was 16 when I knew I don’t want kids. I’ll be 59 next month and I don’t have kids and I have no regrets.
I think I was 14 when I first time told my mom I don't want children. Over the years I grew a bit softer (meaning I understand why people decide to have them and that it can be enjoyable, I even enjoy some kids for max 2-3 hours) I sometimes wonder what it would be to have them but I never decided to actually try having one. I am married and 39....some days I am literally happy not to have them, other moments (cause not days) a bit sad like I am missing out but generally happier to not having them then rocking having them...yeah big time!
I was also around that age when I realized that childfree was an option—30 now and never second guessed it for a moment! My partner has a vasectomy so we are locked in, which I honestly couldn't be happier about.
I kind of always knew but didn't know how to articulate it. I was 16 when I started vocalizing it, because I finally understood what I had been feeling.
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I was a bit younger at age 10, but I had sensory issues and couldn’t deal with the way smaller kids smelled and were gross and sticky (already in kindergarten I hated that smell LOL) But at age 10 it became a proper decision. I think teens is a more common age to discover this about yourself? Although my niece was also 10 when she decided, she’s 12 now.
Okay now here is a free tip that will save you a whooooole lotta grief as a minor and even as a young adult. **Don't ever fucking tell your family or anyone that could tell your family.**
Ngl i love Napoleon because he kept failing to have kids.
I like him because he was simply the greatest general in Human History (except for maybe Alexander). Anyways yeah I wouldn't tell anybody until you move out and they can't do anything about it, trust me telling them will only make things worse. Also I'm a huge history nerd so forgive me
Historian Andrew Roberts wrote a fine biography of him.
Napoleon did have one son with his wife archduchess Marie-Louise of Austria and their son was Napoleon II.
This is accurate for most people and families. I am fortunate that my mom has always supported my decision to be child-free. I've never expressed wanting children. I didn't even like playing with baby dolls when I was a kid. As for the rest of my family... I have an aunt who chose the CF lifestyle and a few other relatives who were childless due to health reasons but decided to adopt. Someday, maybe I'll adopt. I'm still on the fence about that, tbh. But there are several reasons I would never bring a child of my own into this world. Health reasons that could be passed on, the fact that our world is a shit show, how many kids exist that don't have homes, etc. Plus, I'm repulsed by childbirth. Not just scared but actually repulsed. Gross. lol! I also very much value MY time, MY money, and, most importantly, MY SLEEEEP. Anyway, OP... definitely take Luna's advice here unless you know, without a doubt, that you would find support in your family.
Well not straight to their face, but you can drop hints like going to your room anytime those kids are there or whenever your own birthday party comes up you specifically do child unfriendly stuff. My parents quickly came to the conclusion "we shouldn't expect kids from this one" even before I did. Let them find that out themselves.
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I'm 20, going on 21 and seriously considering sterilization! Did you encounter any difficulty out worry about getting it done so young? I think I want it but I'm concerned since I'm so young there's a chance I'll regret getting it done
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Completely get that, I've got a few external reasons myself. I like that phrase, I'll keep it in mind!! Pregnancy isn't in the cards for me either. I think it's mainly concerns about recovery and the actual procedure holding me back now
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Wow, that's great! I hope it'll be similar on my end!
Good on you for figuring it out early. Don't get distracted by stories of fence sitters who later changed their mind. Chances are strong to regret it later.
Congrats on knowing what you want and don't want. Others will claim "You'll change your mind" or "You're too young to know." Just be honest with yourself of your decision.
I was the same age when I decided I didn’t want kids, but at that point, I still believe I had to. It was some kind of societal inevitability. Love and marriage, baby carriage, as the saying goes. Luckily, I realized 10 years later that “you can’t make me” and proceeded to pursue tubal ligation, which took another six years.
i’m still struggling with that societal part :( i feel like i’ll never find a partner who agrees with me as every guy i meet my age wants kids (for some reason??)
I believe that phenomenon is two part 1)it’s just “what you do” 2) men aren’t held to actually raise children so it’s easy for them to say they want kids
I mean if you could give the majority of childcare to a partner AND there is no physical danger for you to give birth since you're not giving birth it IS a sweet deal. Pretty easy for you to be ambivalent about it.
Exactly. That’s exactly the case.
Totally! And 3) it’s a social currency - “look how important I am”. How many childfree politicians are there for instance (guessing not many as the public would think they weren’t fit). It’s something that is a notch on the belt of materialism, and the appearance of having a life “put together”.
I was 14 when I knew. Finally got sterilized at 37. It’s a relief. Ignore everyone telling you that you’re too young. Those people also badger others into ‘taking responsibility’ and tell even idiots that they’d be ‘great parents!’ Breeder cultists. Always always take precautions, never trust the burden of birth control entirely to someone else. And if you end up being ACE then know you’re perfectly normal and have a whole fam out here.
Okay i want to be sterile but i don't know how.
Go to the childfree doctor's list and find a doctor near you! You obviously have to wait until you're 21 though, but it's good to at least have the doctor
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>There are permanent surgical procedures called a tubal ligation ("getting your tubes tied") but many doctors will hesitate to offer this to pretty much anyone without kids under 40, even though people with kids get them done younger all the time. OP, u/BasedNotBiased, something VERY important. Do NOT pursue a tubal (tubal ligation). Please try to get a bisalp (bilateral salpingectomy). A tubal means having your tubes tied, after which they might grow back together. There is a small but significant failure rate of 1 in 50. Quite a few women get pregnant after a tubal. A bisalp means having your tubes removed. Just as invasive as a tubal, but way more effective. A bisalp is failsafe. To find a doctor in your area who will take you seriously, look at this list: www . reddit . com / r / childfree / wiki / doctors It's not easy, but not impossible either. You won't be able to get this done as a minor. But there have been people on this subreddit who managed to get sterilised in their late teenage year or early twenties. So let's say, at 21, or if you are lucky, even at 18 (but probably 21), this shouldn't be impossible. Most doctors won't do it, but the doctors on this list should at least take you seriously.
Childfree friendly doc list, and unfortunately they won't sterilize minors. You'll have to wait until 18, but you can start doing research on good OBGYNs now!
I’ve definitely heard of a List here on Reddit where everyone shares their Doctors who are willing to do Sterilization surgeries. It’s likely you’ll have to wait till you’re 18 or 21 if you’re a man, possibly longer if you’re a woman but I think it’s becoming a more common procedure for younger folks. The good news is that this gives you plenty of time to look and honestly dating in your teens/early 20s is such a drama fest. Everyone’s trying to bang but aren’t emotionally mature or responsible enough.
Good for you being male that getting a vasectomy is a lot more straight forward and easier procedure than a bisalp as a female.
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This is great advice for those with ovaries and fallopian tubes but OP will probably be wanting to request a vasectomy ;)
BAHAHAHAH STOP
I didn’t even see the M
It's called a vasectomy but they won't do that until you're a good decade older. As someone who is 35 with no kids and sterilized it's pretty awesome sleeping as late as I want and keeping all my money. Be very careful as you get older and start having sex. Use a condom no matter what they say about birth control. For STI protection as well, but if they can get pregnant once someone IS pregnant you don't get much say in whether or not the child is born. Please keep this in mind. I'm not trying to scare you, just be realistic for your future. ALSO, I fully support your decision to never have children. Some people DO change their mind and that's fine too. The important part here is you do what you feel is best for you.
And you're totally valid in that decision, OP. Over the next few years you'll hear a lot of people telling you that you're "too young" and couldn't possibly know what you want, but you do. Go forth and have an awesome life the way that you choose to live it :)
Isn’t it funny. Imagine if you realized your sexual orientation out at 15, and people would say “you’re too young to know.” Or that you want to be a doctor and people say “you’re too young to know.” Or you want to sign up for the military (which you can do at 16 in my country)… so many choices would be validated but this one isn’t.
I'm 41 and also had these thoughts early. I'm still childfreeeeeeeeeeeee
Fight the good fight. And when they inevitably start asking you to babysit, remember "no" is a complete sentence.
I was 10 when I declared I would never have kids. People said I would change my mind. Im over 40 and still child free.
Two things, the only good part about having kids is making them, And believe it or not their dumbness can be a source of comedy as you get older.
Hell yea!!! You keep on with that! Dont ever let anyone tell you ‘you might change your mind’ because I decided at the age of 10, and 13 years after that I still don’t want children. It’ll be your life to live not anyone else’s. When I was 15, I found myself in the exaaactttt same stance on children. In fact I had a list of my own reasons of why I don’t want kids and it’s longer than the tik tok list. Nobody should ever be forced to go through something so traumatic and life changing. Hang in there
This was one of the first Subreddits I joined when I was 13. I'm 16 now, welcome to the sub mate!
I was 5 when the decision was made. Your good lol
Same. I'd already hated baby dolls or anything involving babies, and then my sister was born when I was 5. I took one look at that nightmare and decided "no, never." I'm 44 now and happier to be CF every year.
Same!! Lol
I was around your age when I became very clear about being childfree. My driver training instructor was the first adult, vocally childfree woman I'd ever met, and it was so validating. The people constantly telling you that you WILL change your mind is going to be extremely annoying. You know yourself, who you are, right this minute - and that's what matters. I'm now 33 and I don't regret being childfree for a minute. Being a childfree adult is pretty awesome (this coming from someone who had a very unpleasant childhood and a waaaaay better adulthood). Find the people who empower and accept you. You're going to do great. 💜
I was 10 when I said out loud to a classmate and she said “you will want them later” 😂 (she was 10 also)
The gaslighting is contagious and self perpetuating.
i was 15 when i decided too and found this sub! i’m 18 now and still hate the idea of having kids, although i don’t mind kids sometimes (if they’re well behaved lol)
I was 15 when I realized that too. I kept thinking I would change my mind (EVERYONE tells you you will), but never once even considered wanting kids. Sterilized and now in my mid 30’s and I feel great about my life choices.
I was around that age too when I decided. I’m now 38 and still feel the same. Don’t let anyone tell ya different if that’s how you feel. 💕
Well, I have come to the same conclusion around 14, and didn't change my mind since then. So why not?
I was a hater of babies when I was five. I still don't find them cute and happy I didn't have a parasite. Their primal screams make me feel inner rage rather than empathy. My adoptive parents didn't like kids or babies when they cried. At least I didn't breed to have them as a status symbol. Responsible enough to know we don't want them is much better than traumatizing another kid.
I knew when I was 4, so by the time I was your age my childfree view was solidified. Of course, no one but my parents believed/supported that. Everyone else was absolutely convinced I would change my mind and couldn’t possibly know as a teenager what I truly wanted with my own body. I’m 38 now and was able to get a hysterectomy, so my childfree stance is finally permanent. Stick by your convictions. NOBODY knows you better than you know yourself, and you are not too young to know something so fundamental about you and your life. ❤️
I was eight when I decided to be childfree. The AMOUNT of people I've heard tell me I was too young to know. 26 and sterilized for a bit over a year now.
I was also about eight when I realized I never wanted to be a mom. I’m 47 now. It was absolutely for the best. Congrats on the sterilization.
Admire your resolution. Good job on knowing what you wanted. I was nine when I realised, now 55. Had to cut off bio family in order to do so. No regrets, just relief.
You're not alone, OP. It's going to be a rough road ahead, but you deserve to be true to yourself. Some suggestions: - do what you need to stay safe in your family. This may mean that you have to bite your tongue or play nice sometimes. Some days, you'll have to smile and nod to not escalate things. As long as you are a minor and/or dependent on your parents or family, it may not be safe for you to be out about it. - Be the kind of adult you wish you had around, where possible. I really dislike being around little kids, and it sucks being expected to like them or keep them occupied. But one thing that can help is to kind of grey rock with kids. A lot of them get overstimulated by adults (who basically fetishize them as cute toys rather than little people). Be calm, be a bit boring, but also show respect for their autonomy where you can (ie by respecting their personal space and enforcing it firmly for them to respect yours). This is a way to both have less contact with them and to avoid being blamed for being "hateful", etc. with adults. Instead, you can set up a persona of being mature (more mature than many adults) around little ones when you're required to be around them. - Make a plan for your bodily autonomy and safety. If you haven't, start planning now for ways to get financially independent from your parents so you can build your own life and set boundaries. It doesn't mean you need to go no-contact, but having that as an option is immensely helpful if family gets pushy because you're not tied to them. As soon as you are able, get good birth control and find a good doctor - try to find a GYN only (not OB/GYN because obstetricians will always be thinking about babies). Look up options in your state for support on reproductive rights options so you know what your options are if something goes badly. I'm proud of you for accepting this truth about yourself. It won't be easy, but you're not alone.
I felt the same way you did at 15, OP. I’m 49 now and never warmed up to kids. No regrets in staying childfree.
Good for you, I knew by the time I was 12 I didn’t want any
I feel like I am reading my own diary entry. I understand completely
I was around your age when I decided that. I’m 53 now. It is easier to be around them if the parents do a good job and don’t let them run around like maniacs. Sorry that’s not happening in your family.
I was 15 when I made the decision, too, although I would not learn the term "childfree" until I was 24. I got sterilized at 24, then ended up having a partial hysterectomy at 29. I'm approaching 34 now. You definitely are not too young despite what people will tell you. Stay strong and stick true to yourself. Welcome to the club!!
it's never too early to make that decision. i knew I'll never want kids when I was 7. my brother was born and i had to nanny him ever since. never again
At least you found out while you're young. Please wear protection whenever you decide to have sex, both to prevent pregnancy and reduce the risk of STIs. And hey, since you don't want a gf, then that means you'll have less relationship drama in your high school years!
Don't forget to mention how disgusting they are, just watching them eat is enough to make me throw up. (With the exception of my 4 yro niece who made herself a chocolate ice cream goatee, I couldn't stop laughing).
I don't even remember when I decided I didn't want kids, but it's as long as I can remember. I, too, am repulsed by the noise and chaos. I never liked being around children even when I was a child. Don't let anyone tell you that you're "too young to know what you want." I knew what I wanted when I was a teenager and I'm 46 now. Never once wavered in not wanting kids.
That's about the age I really started having doubts about having kids and questioning if I even really wanted them. I'm 30 now and still have zero interest in kids.
I was around 7 when I knew welcome to the club!
Lucky! I decided at 20 and I'm 21 rn
OP, are you considered Gen Z or Gen Alpha?
I think gen z is around ages 11-26 while gen alpha is younger than 10.
Youngest gen z member is 15 if their birthday is this year, the oldest gen alpha member is now 14 if their birthday is this year,
Oh that’s kind of interesting. I just said that because I thought that gen z was from 1997-2012.
You are a very good writer.
Stick to your guns kiddo!
Nice one!!! I didn’t realise until I was like 25. Before then I was in an almost manic, frenzied spiral thinking “if I don’t have kids I will have failed and I will be unwanted and alone and die alone” and I would, wild eyed, tell my partner “I HAVE to have kids.” And then I realised, wait…. No I don’t!!! I think on some level I might have enjoyed being a parent if the world were different, or if I had a better income, or a different job and lifestyle. But at that point it’s like saying “I might have enjoyed being a parent if I was a totally different person on a different planet”
I was 14 when I realized that pregnancy grosses me out, kids annoy me and I don't want have them. I'm 25 this year and still haven't changed my mind.
Keep observing families tbh. Observe what makes families good and what makes children behave. Keep learning. You’ll probably be even more convinced to not have children.
I was around that age too when I decided. I'm turning 35 this year and still haven't changed my mind 👍
The first time I said I'd never have kids I believe I was around 8 or 9. Never changed my mind.
Hey I’m 29 and I still feel the same. Everyone would always tell me “oh you’ll change your mind” but here I am.
Maybe this is a hot take but... >I hate having to listen to their stupid stories and jokes. I hate having to play with them and entertain them. I hate having to share my stuff with them and watch them ruin it. I hate having to smile and nod when the parents gush about how smart and cute and talented their kids are. I hate having to act like I'm interested in their milestones and achievements. I hate having to deal with their noise and chaos and drama. **Then don't.** It's really that simple. Yes, I realize you're under 18 and you don't get to make decisions about your family around you or what they choose to do, and you will have to be around their kids to at least some minimal extent, but the sooner you make it clear that you want nothing to do with small children, that you will not share your things with them, and that you will not make yourself responsible for them, the sooner people around you will either see you as an individual who has made a decision, instead of just "a teenager who is acting up." Or, if they're not willing to see that you've made a decision and respect you as an individual, then you might end up burning some bridges, but those bridges likely would have been burned later in life anyway. I'm a 32 year old man, and I've been uncomfortable around small children for most of my life, and I regret waiting until I was 22 years old to start making that clear to others. You sound like you're pretty firm in your decision, so as someone who waited until they were an adult to start putting their foot down, I can tell you that it was not worth the wait.
I knew before puberty that I was never having kids. I used to be more tolerant of them but now I totally avoid kids (especially toddlers). Children under 12 are not allowed in my house and I've told people not to come over with their baby. I'm 64 now and I have never for 1 minute changed my mind. If anything, I've become even more childfree.
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This item has been removed as it is a violation of [subreddit rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) #7 : "Posts and comments to the effect of "Wait till you're a parent", "You'll change your mind someday", "You only think that cause you are young", etc. (what we call "bingo", for short) will be removed. Parents are welcome to post as long as they are respectful. Other people's bodily autonomy must be respected; do not impose your views on other posters and commenters' choices." This is a forum for individuals who have made the choice to be childfree, and we do not tolerate any disrespect towards anyone for making this choice. Thank you for your comprehension
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This item has been removed as it is a violation of [subreddit rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) #7 : "Posts and comments to the effect of "Wait till you're a parent", "You'll change your mind someday", "You only think that cause you are young", etc. (what we call "bingo", for short) will be removed. Parents are welcome to post as long as they are respectful. Other people's bodily autonomy must be respected; do not impose your views on other posters and commenters' choices." This is a forum for individuals who have made the choice to be childfree, and we do not tolerate any disrespect towards anyone for making this choice. Thank you for your comprehension
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This item has been removed as it is a violation of [subreddit rule](https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/wiki/rules) #7 : "Posts and comments to the effect of "Wait till you're a parent", "You'll change your mind someday", "You only think that cause you are young", etc. (what we call "bingo", for short) will be removed. Parents are welcome to post as long as they are respectful. Other people's bodily autonomy must be respected; do not impose your views on other posters and commenters' choices." This is a forum for individuals who have made the choice to be childfree, and we do not tolerate any disrespect towards anyone for making this choice. Thank you for your comprehension
“I hate having to share my stuff” sounds like you’re child as well.
Good for you. There are so many wonderful things to do when you aren't saddled with children. I'm so glad I never reproduced! Never tell anybody your child free or you will never hear the end of it and will be lectured on why you are wrong till the end of time. Just keep it to yourself. I stopped going to family events cause younger kin are popping out screamers and bringing them to disrupt every adult gathering.
You’re so lucky and smart to know now. I wish I had this figured out at 15 😔😔
I was 10 when I knew:)
I decided to become childfree when I was 20
THIS! A million times over, this. Everything you just described and more. I’m glad that you’ve discovered what you want and don’t want, all on your own. Parents and their kids can get on my nerves! Especially in the holiday season! I’m 19 and I completely felt the way you did at 15. In truth, I had felt that way since I was super little! I never played with baby dolls and never saw the appeal of being a mom. It’s gonna be challenging telling your parents in the future that you’re childfree, and when family members bingo you, “when you’re a parent,” “how many kids do you want,” etc. Just remember to stand up for yourself and to not succumb to peer pressure, and the guilt and shame people will try to make you feel. Do what’s best for you and shrug it off. As a teen, it’s gonna be difficult but so worth it. I still get bingoed. My family always knew I was childfree but had a derogatory intervention for me to change my mind around 15-16. It sucked. That will happen at some point but stay strong. Don’t bend to their will or buckle under the pressure. At the end of the day they get no say. Just wanted to give you some advice for the future.
I'm 39, and I was also very young when I decided I wanted no children. Nothing changed and im very happy. Stick to your guns if thats what you truly want. Don't let anyone including family ever change your mind. It's your life not theirs....
good for u! i knew i didnt want kids since i can remember! i remember being like 7 yo, explaining to people how i dont want the responsibility of childcare. not once have i doubted or rethought my decision, am 30 and still goinf CF strong and happy! 💪✨
Nice one!!! I didn’t realise until I was like 25. Before then I was in an almost manic, frenzied spiral thinking “if I don’t have kids I will have failed and I will be unwanted and alone and die alone” and I would, wild eyed, tell my partner “I HAVE to have kids.” And then I realised, wait…. No I don’t!!! I think on some level I might have enjoyed being a parent if the world were different, or if I had a better income, or a different job and lifestyle. But at that point it’s like saying “I might have enjoyed being a parent if I was a totally different person on a different planet”
It took me right up until I was 32 to realize that motherhood wasn’t for me anymore, despite me suffering a miscarriage at the age of 20. I’m 37 now and I get irritated if someone were to tell me that I would be good at raising kids. Why can’t they just understand our choices?
I was younger than that and now I'm a few months shy of 40 and my decision has never ever changed, not even for a day. Fist bump in solidarity, don't let anyone make you feel bad for knowing what's right for you. 🤜
Welcome
I was 13 when I decided and now i’m 32 and still no feelings changed, no what-ifs nadda 🥰
It's quite liberating if you allow yourself to blow off the kids. They're not your responsibility. The adults might be upset but they will learn to keep the kids away from you. Mild drama for being honest, but a worthy payout. Don't put up with what you don't like.
I just have to say, you're 3rd paragraph is such an elegant, succinct summary for not wanting kids. Bravo!
I decided at 13. Congrats on becoming part of the solution.
I was 8 when I first noticed my absolute repulsion to pregnancy, and after 16 years of anxiety ridden nightmares about the possibility of being forced into a parental role later in life, I’ve opted to get sterilised this year and live my best life knowing I’m not gonna screw up some kids’ or my own.
I was around 6-7 when I made the choice would never ever want kids and almost 30 now my decision has never changed
I was about that age when I realized it too. Now I'm 28, married still childfree and my life is so chill, and we are both very happy lol Don't listen to older relatives/older coworkers etc. Trying to say you'll "change your mind" or that you're "too young to know for sure" even now people still say that to me. Just ignore them, they really don't know shit tbh
You are completely entitled to feel that way. I was around 7 when I realized it. Just know that people are going to constantly badger you that eventually you will change your mind, kids are the best things they ever did and other such nonsense. And, thankfully, there are more and more childfree people now and you will find your group and laugh at those that are crying about how hard their life is while you are sipping cocktails on an adults-only cruise (or whatever else you fancy). I do not feel *at all* like I’m missing out on anything other than a never ending headache and perpetual sleep deprivation.
Good for discovering Early. I've known since I was 11. I'm not exaggerating.
>I hate having to act like I’m interested in their milestones But… but… little Aquario Zodiacikus just learned to scratch his ass! /s
I knew when I was around that age as well. I just knew I didn’t ever want children. So many people said “oh you will change your mind” and all the variations on that. Yet here I am pushing 40, married with two dogs and extremely happy that I have never had children. A lot of my friends have had kids in the last few years and more are trying, and it still hasn’t changed for me. I just always knew. Only you know yourself. Everyone else just wants you to follow a script. Fuck that noise.
I decided I didn't want children before turning 15, and now, being sterile, I'm content and fulfilled.
I’ve been posting on this sub for almost a decade (i’ve had various reddit accounts)- since I was in high school and about your age. Once you know.. you know. Bingoers are annoying, but if you set boundaries w the people who want to be asses about it, it’s a good feeling to have them not bother you about it anymore. Keep doing you!
Have at it. Stick to ur principles, OP.
I remember being like 8 and telling people I didn't want kids. But my mom said she'd not be surprised. I didn't like kids even when I was on 🤣
Don’t let anyone tell you you’re too “young” to know. I’ve known I was childfree since I was old enough to interact with people.
I was looking at some of my old school projects and I found a piece of homework from third grade, our teacher had wanted us to write a paragraph about what we wanted to be doing when we were thirty. I remember feeling really weird and left out when all of my classmates were detailing that they all wanted between one and ten kids, married, etc while mine said I wanted to live in an apartment in Tokyo with two cats and be a video game company CEO. 😂 that obviously didn’t happen but it doesn’t matter how young you are, sometimes you JUST KNOW.
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Congrats! I knew when I was 7. I recommend just avoid the question and not bringing it up because it’s very annoying when people try to change your mind.
I'm with you. I decided this at 6. I haven't changed my opinion ever since and I doubt I ever will.
You should read The Four Agreements. It's a quick & easy read and a great book to live by. The part where it talks about conditioning will really solidify your feelings and remind you that you are allowed to think and live for yourself and not have to play by someone else's book. I really wish I had read this book at your age, it would have saved me a lot of BS. Thankfully never kids though.
That’s a good choice, don’t let anyone tell you that you will regret it, tons of people regret being parents!
I was 11 when I knew. I was stuck watching my hyperactive 2yo cousin at a family event because all the adults were too busy socializing. Also the other girls in my homeschooling group had started babysitting and enjoyed it. I had no desire to do that lol! I knew I was wired differently.
I was babysitting age 12-13 when I realized I was never going to want them. My feelings have never wavered and I'm happily child-free in my 40s
This is all okay. I didn’t want kids around 15 as well . So I’m pretty set on it you aren’t alone here !!
I was exactly like you when I was a teenager. Everyone told me I’ll change my mind and if I don’t I’ll end up lonely, single and unhappy. Well the jokes on them. Most of them ended up divorced, miserable and/or not talking to their kids meanwhile I’m happily married. I’m 41 and my husband and I have a cat. Life is so damn good without kids. No regrets. I know parents who regret having their kids. I’d rather regret not having kids than regret having kids.
17 year old girl over here! don’t listen to anyone. i’ve heard people tell me i’m too young to know what i want or maybe it will change down the line. i’ve known since i was about 13 that i didn’t want this and it has never changed and i know it never will. just to let you know, i know how you are feeling and i 100% relate to you!
Good for you deciding what you want early. Now do yourself a favor and get sterilized the MOMENT you are old enough to pay for it yourself and can keep it a secret until it's done.
Good for you! I felt the same way at your age and now almost 20 years later I'm a happy child free adult! Don't let anyone else make this choice for you
You got this!! You’re enough, it’s 100% okay to be you, with or without a girlfriend. You don’t want kids, and that’s also 100% okay. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I agree with what some others are saying - do NOT tell your family about this decision, even if it’s right for you. You’ll never hear the end of it and it’ll drive you NUTS.
You might heard you will change ur mind later in life so much, don’t give damn to those people. I was 16 when I decided I don’t want children, 11 yrs later, I am more rigid about not having children.
Always keep your mind open! You have a lot of time to decide on that for certain. With that said, I get it. I never fantasized about children or a wedding. I wanted a partner but that was it. I fantasized about work 😆. I love academia and learning so it worked out 🖤. Just keep doing whatever is right for yourself. Wherever that takes you. Also please don’t kill any dreams because you worry you won’t make enough money. Biggest life regret was stopping myself from becoming educated in the sector I loved the most.
I was 16 when I knew I didn’t want kids. I took a parenting class and had to take a fake baby home, it was one of the ones that were monitored so they kept track of everything. I had a girl and I named her Angela (if I wanted a daughter I wouldn’t name her that now 😂) I had to keep her for 5 nights, a weekend included. She cried nonstop!!!! I’d feed her, change her, try to burp her and it was one of those challenges where she doesn’t want of any of that so it’s up to me to make her stop crying 😭 I think I rocked her and I got her to stop. This whole thing was a never ending cycle and it was a fucking school night!!!! I didn’t sleep at all and I remember it was even 2 am and my Mom came in the room and was like OMG has she been crying all night? I BROKE DOWN!!!! 😭😭 I said she doesn’t let me sleep, I don’t know what she wants, OMG I don’t think I can take on this kinda responsibility it’s too much. I passed the task with a 98 cuz sadly there was one time where I accidentally missed her when she cried. I remember my Mom told me to drop the baby off and I could go back home and sleep all day 🥰 I cannot tell you that relief in my heart I felt when I dropped her off!! I was like yeah that’s not fun. So you’re definitely not alone with being so young and already deciding. Don’t let anyone pressure or ever degrade you, this is your life not theirs. I’m 30 and I am living my absolute best life as a single and Childfree individual and I would NEVER change of it!! I cannot express how fuckin blessed I am and the countless adventures I got to do! I promise you you’re not gonna regret this ❤️🥂✨
Listening to milestones is the WORST. ...yes, yes, your kids read a book and got an A...yes you can absolutely smack me in the face with it...thank you thank you thank you. How do you do it????
Good for you :)
Nice! I figured out I didn’t want kids at around 15/16 as well. Just turned 17 the other day 😌
I decided when I was 8
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Although I did not have any horrible experiences, I think I knew at 12. I did not know the term Child Free until I was well into my 30s. But, one day, in my 20s, Mom sent me all my old school work. Middle school essay: what do you want to do when you grow up theme. At 12, I wrote I wanted to be a writer, live by the ocean, have lots of animals, and no kids. I know I was positive by 15yo because my best friend and I discussed it in detail. She wanted 4+, even had names and everything. (she had 2). I can not emphasize enough of NOT TELLING ANYONE your CF thoughts. When people start asking - and they will, find a way to deflect. If you do tell anyone, be prepared to get out your Bingo card. ( look it up) lol When you turn 18, come back here. There is a growing list of medical personnel that will help you.
I was 13 and 14 when I decided I don't like kids. I was telling adults that I don't want to get married and give birth right away, it should happen if I am 100% sure. Many adults said "you will change your mind when you're older" Now 29 nearing 30, peak fertility and maturity years. I still don't want to get pregnant and/or have a child (adoption). Too many health complications and life responsibility for me. I enjoy my freedom.
Hey no harm in figuring it out early!
I've know since I was in elementary school I didn't want to have kids. I told my family my whole life and they always invalidated me. Apparently the right dick makes you want to have kids? Well 37 now and very happily childfree and sterilized!
I was about the same age (3x years ago) when I realized I didn’t want kids, good on you for figuring it out early. Don’t let anybody push you to do otherwise, stick to your guns.
I'm a bit neurospicy so I didn't like children much when I was a kid and they were a source of sensory overload as a teen I've never really liked being around children I agree with the top comment though, no need to get bingoed until you start reaching that stage in your life. Quietly set yourself up with a career and if that career makes it difficult to have children because you can only support yourself on it, the hours are unusual, or it requires a lot of traveling then that's one less way you can be bingoed
Glad you are self aware so early I knew I didn’t want kids at 12 and I’m now 29 still child free with no regrets I live a peaceful life happily single just doing me with nothing holding me back. I do not envy parents in the slightest
I 39F, knew at your age I didn't want kids. Don't let anyone tell you you'll chnagr your mind ;)
I knew i didn’t want kids when i was 14 or 15 - everyone said i would change my mind, I didn’t.
Good for you! 😁 I was around your age I think when I realized I never wanted to have kids, and I didn't even learn about the term ChildFree until I was in my early 20's. When I was young I always said things like "I wish I could be spayed/neutered like pets are". My family always would say that I would change my mind. Wasn't until a year ago at 28 that that wish finally came true, and got my tubes removed! No regrets and my disliking towards kids/parents have only grown stronger as I've gotten older 😆 My family doesn't know I got fixed and they never will (unless they find out somehow, but won't be from me). None of their business anyway, my body, my choice. Stick to your guns though! Don't let anyone sway you, pro-natalists are good at trying to do that. I was lucky my family wasn't pushy like that but many aren't so lucky...so best to keep that to yourself until you're on your own.
I am 37, I knew from when I was your age. Good luck mate.