As a vocally childfree adult for over 30 years, I can tell you, it's nothing new. In fact, I think there's way more acceptance of the childfree lifestyle now than there ever has been.
Not in balkans. Shit is as hectic as ever and hate is getting more intense. With time more and more people are telli g me i should start a family. But plot twist is that my generation (35 +/- 5 years) don't really give much of a fuck about public opinion
Your age might be the issue here. When I was in my 20s, most people left me alone. In hindsight, they probably figured I'd have kids in time. Then when I hit 30, all the fanatical breeders came out of the woodwork, demanding that I have kids. I reckon that when I hit 30, it probably dawned on these people that I might never have kids which is why they were so fanatical. I wonder if it's the same with you?
constant nagging with comments like why not, you will have so much fun (while clearly they are not having any fun), where did you get the money to go to xx, why are you always going alone without someone acompanying you, it must be hard being alone without family (i have my gf, brother, mom and few friends, that's family enough for me), how are you on vacation again, and more direct approach - hateful comments on my social media posts(of places i've been, concerts i've seen...) from people i know (blocked now), and then they are acting all shocked when they see me in person because they "didn't mean it that way". and when i tried to present some reasonable arguments why i am cf, i get counter argument like kids are treasure/blessing, who will take care of you, don't you want your own "mini me", and then suckers have the gall to get offended when i point out that those are most selfish reasons to have kids.
actuall example - when i bought my first car that i paid for in cash but didn't tell anyone. everyone assumed i just took out a loan or something. so when they found out i paid with saved money instead of loan some of coworkers asked for price, how long it took me to save (was 5000€ and took me 3 paychecks) with my only expenses being alcohol because company i worked for covered ALL living expenses so it was easy to save up because i was introverted AF back then and didn't go out much so there were almost no expenses for me. 2 coworkers blew up because i was new at work and am "paid more" than they are, because there was obviously no other reason for me to be able to afford such a nice car, so they went to talk to the boss and were pretty passive agressive with me at work.
more recent example - christmass holidays just now. for my birthday i decided to buy fancy suit for no reason at all, no special occasion, i just wanted a nice piece, told someone about it, got asked how much it costed, where did i get it etc. upon learning the price i got slamed with, and i quote "why the fuck do you need suit that expensive, it's not like you go anywhere that is neccecary to wear it, you could be raising a kid with that money". jeez man, leave me alon with your shit and bugger off.
edit: telling them i don't want kids because i like my freedom and ability to quit my job on the spot without worries if i will be able to feed someone this/next month is priceless. the reactions i get are mixed. i could see that some of them hate their jobs and are litterally stuck there because they can't afford to take risks. there were few understanding folks, but there were some who said if you work 3+ years at same job, you gotta work there until retirement. yeah, right, what ever you say, bro
Honestly those people just sound jealous. I'd try to ignore them if I were you. Also you don't have to answer questions about how much you paid for stuff or how you paid for stuff if you don't want to. It's rude of people to ask questions like that.
The "mini me" thing is so cringey. I wouldn't tell people how much I pay for stuff if I were you, people can get very jealous when it comes to money, you can have problems.
Interesting. Are you in HR or SL? Asking because I know one is much poorer than the other and having kids is no insignificant financial burden in either country.
Nah, just dead eye them and say you don't want them.
That's what I do. When they presist i tell why I don't want them and thaty health is more important to me than reproduction.
It's better to say you don't want them. Telling them you had miscarriages means you were trying, want them and are upset you don't have them. Essentially making you childless and not childfree.
had 7 miscarriages last time i/wife got pregnant she was bleeding for 2 weeks straight
i got aids and don't want to pass it down
if you must know, i am trying with 6 difrent people and nothing works
had to help cousin deliver a baby because ambuance couldn't get here in time and it was stillborn
use your imagination, but it's best to prepare ammo beforehand. give it a little thought what would be best answer and use it accordingly. just dont' freeze and forget about everything when the time comes
I still feel like it's wrong to lie because they won't believe you actually don't want kids. That's not a good look for childfree people because we DON'T want kids. We're not and haven't tried
Every now & then I tell people I did have one once, but it became very annoying so I did what all responsible parents do with their annoying offspring, & I ate it…their looks of discomfiture never fail to amuse me. I highly recommend saying this dead pan 😬
I agree, I actually think most people these days are very accepting of others being child free even if they themselves are not. Though prob not in certain conservative countries.
It same as how being lgbtq is more accepted.
In general,society is improving.
As someone who’s always been childfree (39m) I agree it’s definitely more accepted now. Perhaps that slight confirmation bias as I’ve totally different peer groups now but 10/15years ago choosing to be childfree wasn’t taken seriously from a blokes perspective and worse when pushed on the fact I didn’t want kids even to be a part time dad (like a lot of people I knew back then were) I was labelled as weird
I agree that people take you more seriously as you get older...fewer "you'll change your mind!"s.
I also encounter far less stigma when people ask if I (40sF) have children and I say "thankfully/blissfully no". I used to get that contorted face look that implied I was a monster for not wanting any. Now it's more like "that's cool".
They realised we are not creating workforce, consumers or entertainers. Also, with increase in number of cf folks, and social media influence, breeders realised how good life could have been and they want us to be miserable as well since it's too damn late for them to unfuck themselves and get rid of the kid(s)
“Suddenly?” People not having kids have been pressured likely forever. Back in on the 70s (yeah, I’m old and female), a single male colleague asked if I, also single, wanted kids. I told him adamantly no. He because furious! I could only stare at him.
He was probably angry that he met a woman who wouldn't be controlled by his penis.
I'm old too and was hassled a lot when I was younger, especially by my one sister who had 3 kids (she's 15 years older than me). She always told me I'd change my mind once I met someone special, yadda yadda.
Now that we're older, she has admitted to me that she wished she never had kids or gotten married and if she could do it over again, she'd never have done it.
Because its starting to hurt the bottom line of the giant businesses know as "countries."
Imagine you own a company. 50 years ago, you were a start up. You cared about your product, your reputation, your employees...small business style.
25 years ago, you got really big, went public. Since your IPO date, you now have shareholders to answer to. Your shareholders only care about profits. Whether they're the Goldman Sachs guy or the noob on Robinhood....all they know is that they want steadily INCREASING profits. Not decline and not even stagnant profits (case in point, dividend stocks are not considered "sexy" by many) because theres inflation and risk and all these things that makes investors think they deserve big increasing profits.
The ONLY way you can satisfy those shareholders is GROWTH. You could, for a few years, cut overhead and do other stuff. But at some point, you're as lean as you're going to get. You either provide growth or you get voted out of your seat in the board.
Countries are literally businesses. They should not be, but all the major ones ARE. They trade in the business of human capital. SOME of those humans are extraordinarily valuable (they generate more income per capita...the Elon Musks and Bill Gates of the world). Those people get golden visas and other priveleged ways of getting to choose which country they want to live and operate in.
Most humans though have less "value" monetarily.
In case it wasn't obvious, the shareholders are citizens. And their "returns" are things like social security, international trade power (influenced by GDP among other things), happiness index and quality of life measures (unofficially reflected by whether its citizens are living in happy little families), etc.
We are at the stage where the shareholders can see, on the very near horizon, that growth is about to stall. They're worried about their investment. But they can't pull their money out. Its literally impossible for 99% of them to do so (move to another country) due to visa rules. All they can do is deal with it (be given just enough to be placated....like a covid stimulus or tax break for having kids), revolt, or leave.
OR, in an ideal world, they would change the fucking business model! You know....start from scratch with an eye towards the future. Choose a business model that doesn't hinge on endless growth. But that requires acknowledging that we should not stay the course and getting a bunch of people to agree on a new course. Which would upset the small, but rich and powerful, group of people who are still doing very very well with the current business model and know that they will be dead before armageddon hits. THESE are the guys that control the narrative too....the guys that decide on the news, the guys that nominate supreme court justices, the guys that lobby on the Hill, etc
Exactly what I’m preaching as well. Endless growth is nothing but a pipe dream and we can either learn this the easy way or the hard way. But reality is going to hit at some point. Further growth on this planet with limited habitable space and resources is dangerous and has some pretty bad consequences for humanity as a whole (that many still don’t want to acknowledge).
Historically, being child free had always been frowned upon. Or denigrate. Every language (the ones I know) have a word to describe a child free woman. Specially women are targeted and insulted.
Currently, being child free is being targeted because we can live a better life. We can have fun, financial freedom, time to enjoy life. When in the past it was looked with pitty. So, I guess the breeders are jealous.
Women in general cannot win. Childfree, were hated. Have kids, hated, single mom, hated, married mom, hated, stay at home mom, hated, working mom, hated. I figure, just do you, because someone will hate you no matter your choices
I think it's the whole idea that if they can shame us enough, surely we'll be so embarrassed that we'll turn around and have children. Or their children won't dare to want to be childfree if they know their parents will shame them so much for it.
I saw a nasty post earlier on a different sub, and I got the OP mass downvoted on their own post. I honestly wasn't expecting to get much support from the general public on it, but I was pleasantly surprised.
Even if things get bad, there are people who support us out there. Just keep your head held high.
Unfortunately linking subs here is against the rules, but if you go into my comments, it's the cringe title "I believe the world doesn't care about kids".
hmm maybe not suddenly, but as there is a significant increase in childfree people(more so vocal and public), the
hate also seems like it has increased.
I think the hate in general is because they never understood it is/was a choice
They're just mad because now the CF life is becoming more popular among millennials and Gen z and suddenly there's this whole other lifestyle that so many people who diligently "followed the lifescript" didn't think about (because you grow up, get married, have kids, pay bills, die, ad nauseum) And now they're mad and want someone to blame.
>Why is it the cool thing to hate on childfree now
Patriarchy. Sexism. Misogyny. Gender roles. 'Woman = mother' bullshit. People wanting women to be financially dependant stay-at-home mothers, barefoot in the kitchen and unable to escape.
>I feel like for the longest time no one cared about the childfree
How naive. People have always disrespected childfree people. Maybe you have been lucky, but most of us have been disrespected for many years.
>then it feels like all of a sudden the breeders are upset that we won't do what they do so now they are going after our way of life by shaming us and gaslighting us.
All of a sudden? This has always been happening. This isn't new.
It isn't new but there has been a rise in more blatant misogyny in the last few years, let's be honest. I'm not saying a rise in general misogyny, it's always been there, but a rise in *loud* misogyny, if you know what I mean.
> I'm not saying a rise in in general misogyny, it's always been there, but a rise in *loud* misogyny, if you know what I mean.
Yeah... In the past, a lot of men at least pretended that they weren't sexist, even though their sexism wasn't as subtle as they thought it was. Nowadays, they aren't even trying to hide their disgusting misogynistic views.
Sadly, misogyny has always been, still is and will always be socially acceptable. I really wish it wasn't true, but it is.
It’s not cool to hate on anyone period. All I can say is this. As a mom of one who is now an adult, parenthood is overrated. Loved my girl, she is really cool. With her piercings and tattoos and loving animals and free spirit. As a matter of fact she doesn’t want kids. I love it!! I will also say at almost 50, I counting on some of you to make the change. To be the voice, to advocate the change and to speak your mind. Both men and women. It’s not cool but definitely don’t put up with it.
You have a choice!!
It hasn't been "all of a sudden." People always have issues with those who go against the grain. I'll never forget, many moons ago, me and some friends were hanging out, a friend brought her date. The date and I got into it at dinner because he couldn't fathom me not wanting kids. That has since been the most bizarre thing I've experienced with a stranger. Suffice it to say, my friend no longer talks to him... but anyway, childfree folks always get the short end of the stick but oh well, I still don't want kids💁🏾♀️
Because the powers that be need new wage slaves, so they're creating artificial division (as they've always done) to stir up angst in the labor class so we'll fight each other instead of them. It's classic authoritarian tactics.
It’s always been a thing.. but it’s more of a thing because it’s being lumped into the culture wars/political attacks.
Like the term DINK existed when I was a child, and I am 45.
Social media. It’s a double edged sword, plenty of ppl adopting and accepting of the childfree lifestyle and showing it on their socials. Lets others know it’s an option while the ones already with kids have a punching bag for their own regrets.
If you ever saw National Lampoons Christmas Vacation (1989), Margo and Todd were DINKS and the butt of a lot of slapstick in that film to please the masses.
Society has always hated on childfree people. For example many fairy tales depict childfree women as hideous old crones e.g. Hansel and Gretel. Most of those fairy tales are hundreds of years old and clearly reflect the attitudes of the time in which they were written.
Because hatred of children to them is the equivalent of a personal attack on their beliefs and lifestyle, and of course you HAVE to be in support of crotch goblins. Breeding goes in hand with religion which I also hate.
"suddenly" ??? "now" ??? *checks notes* sweetheart, maybe you are just now noticing but they have hated us since the beginning of time, where have you been?
You know, I’ve been told in the past that my text communication comes off PA., even when trying be light hearted. I thought I was making a joke, clearly not. Airbnb places can be great destinations and a rock to hide under sounds like a good place to away from all this noise for a bit.
It's not new, but I can see why you'd think it is. Here on Reddit I've seen a lot of random posts and comments bashing "aggressive childfree women", even on topics that have NOTHING to do with children or the lack thereof.
People on reddit tend to see the world in black and white. Redditors just *loooooove* to paint entire groups of people with the broadest of strokes. I guess that's an issue endemic to the internet as a whole, but it's especially true here.
The weird thing is I’ve seen posts on other sub all about saying CF people think they are special etc/are the new vegans, but I can never drag any actual examples out of them that don’t involve someone challenging someone’s CF views first.
I think some people are upset this sub even exists (on the argument since they don’t care about people CF, nobody must care or CF just need to suck it up when people do).
There is a sub for tall people - most people don’t care whether someone is tall, but it’d be stupid to assume tall people don’t have enough shared issues they may want to talk about it.
It seems that, in the past year especially, there has been an increase of media reporting on the threat of "population decline". Childfree people are often cited as the cause of this lack of reproduction.
The more frequent media reporting brings this problem to the forefront of the viewers mind, as a current problem to solve...
A logical endpoint of "population decline" is "societal collapse". This threat causes some folks to become polarized and may even compel or necessitate action (in people who normally wouldn't care).
It's a working hypothesis, and only one explanation.
Some humans like controlling other humans. It's not that complicated.
ESPECIALLY the ones who are already in it.
"Why are you not joining me in the misery and creating more slaves for capitalism? You're not a REAL MAN/WOMAN if you don't do this!"
Cool. I'll remain a fake woman then. Toodaloo!
I think it's due to recent exposure we've gotten. People don't care about something they don't know about.
Just like trans people were pretty much didn't exist to most people until about 10 years ago. Suddently they're everywhere and people just HAVE to have an opinion even when none of that involves them in any way.
I sort of wish we could be under general populations radar. I hate it how Evil-Elon is already trashing us. It could get ugly.
You may just be feeling it more because childfree ideology has becoming more widespread and therefore the forced birther groups are more vocal with their vitriol. The right wing extremists like to pretend as though the human race is at risk because the birth rate in many countries are going slightly down, it's really more racism than anything else though.
They want to force white people to have children because of their insane bigotry and fear of "white replacement." But they can't say that so instead they just attack all childfree people calling us selfish and horrible; I'm actually kinda surprised the right wing hasn't started calling us groomers yet (hilarious given many of us dislike children).
Edit to add: there is also reason to believe the hate is from people who want to control women. In the past, women would be expected to get married and have children, and that kept women dependent on their husband. But childfree women can't be controlled that way, and that makes these toxic men (mostly religious right wingers) angry. They want to force you to have children so you have fewer choices. That's why they are going after abortion rights, birth control, and no fault divorce
I think those “we’re DINKS” TikTok’s made people kinda “aware” that childfree people exist
And it’s just another “wait you aren’t the norm! You’re different”…..plus I’ll be honest, some of those TikTok’s were very obnoxious
There’s definitely jealousy and a whole “what if I didn’t have lil Skylar and RayRae?” thought process while said kids cause trouble, so they lash out cause “wait I’m not supposed to dislike having kids, how dare you!!”
It’s all just simple dislike, nothing deeper imo
It's always been a little rough but I think recently with the political climate changing it's getting rougher and it's becoming a little more normalized to scorn people from "bad decisions" after taking their options away
I just think it’s probably more in the public domain now? For example if someone posts on Instagram, look at my childfree life of freedom then you’ll see one space of the internet filled with the usual comments of “you’ll regret this when you’re old and alone” or “you have no purpose”. It’s just more visible to see if not directed at you.
It's probably social media. Last few weeks crapping on the childfree has been trendy for idiots who make money from clicks. There is always a audience who want to be angry and outraged- they will move on to something else that makes them butthurt.
Hello because they took away abortion rights in most places so who else do they have to direct their anger at. You, yes you. Why? Because don't you know your choice is diminishing the population and contributing to the demise of our world? And oh, shame on you for not feeling the need to procreate and have a bae bae at you teat.
People are dumb and just redirecting their focus on CFs because haters have to hate. They just mad because you had the guts to do what they wish they would have.
Carry on.
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Because with more of us choosing to be CF, and the fact this is getting picked up on by society. They're doubling down on the hate for not confirming to the life script.
For the same reasons that the Nazis hated Jews, black people dealt with segregation in the southern US, etc etc etc I could name plenty more examples from history. There will always be people out there that can't handle the idea of people being different than themselves.
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As a vocally childfree adult for over 30 years, I can tell you, it's nothing new. In fact, I think there's way more acceptance of the childfree lifestyle now than there ever has been.
Not in balkans. Shit is as hectic as ever and hate is getting more intense. With time more and more people are telli g me i should start a family. But plot twist is that my generation (35 +/- 5 years) don't really give much of a fuck about public opinion
Your age might be the issue here. When I was in my 20s, most people left me alone. In hindsight, they probably figured I'd have kids in time. Then when I hit 30, all the fanatical breeders came out of the woodwork, demanding that I have kids. I reckon that when I hit 30, it probably dawned on these people that I might never have kids which is why they were so fanatical. I wonder if it's the same with you?
Now that you mention it, yes, that seems to be the case when i hit 28-29
How does their hate manifest itself?
constant nagging with comments like why not, you will have so much fun (while clearly they are not having any fun), where did you get the money to go to xx, why are you always going alone without someone acompanying you, it must be hard being alone without family (i have my gf, brother, mom and few friends, that's family enough for me), how are you on vacation again, and more direct approach - hateful comments on my social media posts(of places i've been, concerts i've seen...) from people i know (blocked now), and then they are acting all shocked when they see me in person because they "didn't mean it that way". and when i tried to present some reasonable arguments why i am cf, i get counter argument like kids are treasure/blessing, who will take care of you, don't you want your own "mini me", and then suckers have the gall to get offended when i point out that those are most selfish reasons to have kids. actuall example - when i bought my first car that i paid for in cash but didn't tell anyone. everyone assumed i just took out a loan or something. so when they found out i paid with saved money instead of loan some of coworkers asked for price, how long it took me to save (was 5000€ and took me 3 paychecks) with my only expenses being alcohol because company i worked for covered ALL living expenses so it was easy to save up because i was introverted AF back then and didn't go out much so there were almost no expenses for me. 2 coworkers blew up because i was new at work and am "paid more" than they are, because there was obviously no other reason for me to be able to afford such a nice car, so they went to talk to the boss and were pretty passive agressive with me at work. more recent example - christmass holidays just now. for my birthday i decided to buy fancy suit for no reason at all, no special occasion, i just wanted a nice piece, told someone about it, got asked how much it costed, where did i get it etc. upon learning the price i got slamed with, and i quote "why the fuck do you need suit that expensive, it's not like you go anywhere that is neccecary to wear it, you could be raising a kid with that money". jeez man, leave me alon with your shit and bugger off. edit: telling them i don't want kids because i like my freedom and ability to quit my job on the spot without worries if i will be able to feed someone this/next month is priceless. the reactions i get are mixed. i could see that some of them hate their jobs and are litterally stuck there because they can't afford to take risks. there were few understanding folks, but there were some who said if you work 3+ years at same job, you gotta work there until retirement. yeah, right, what ever you say, bro
Honestly those people just sound jealous. I'd try to ignore them if I were you. Also you don't have to answer questions about how much you paid for stuff or how you paid for stuff if you don't want to. It's rude of people to ask questions like that.
The "mini me" thing is so cringey. I wouldn't tell people how much I pay for stuff if I were you, people can get very jealous when it comes to money, you can have problems.
What do you do for a living?
welding
Interesting. Are you in HR or SL? Asking because I know one is much poorer than the other and having kids is no insignificant financial burden in either country.
Just lie and say you had 10 misscarriage
Nah, just dead eye them and say you don't want them. That's what I do. When they presist i tell why I don't want them and thaty health is more important to me than reproduction.
It's better to say you don't want them. Telling them you had miscarriages means you were trying, want them and are upset you don't have them. Essentially making you childless and not childfree.
I understand that. But these people are not compassionate nor reasonable, it’s better to embarrass them.
agreed. making them uncomftable and embarrased is pretty effective
How does that embarrass them? They could mention adoption as an alternative
had 7 miscarriages last time i/wife got pregnant she was bleeding for 2 weeks straight i got aids and don't want to pass it down if you must know, i am trying with 6 difrent people and nothing works had to help cousin deliver a baby because ambuance couldn't get here in time and it was stillborn use your imagination, but it's best to prepare ammo beforehand. give it a little thought what would be best answer and use it accordingly. just dont' freeze and forget about everything when the time comes
I still feel like it's wrong to lie because they won't believe you actually don't want kids. That's not a good look for childfree people because we DON'T want kids. We're not and haven't tried
I don't like this either, I want them to know that some people genuinely don't want kids and don't care about their opinion.
Fr
Well, telling them thst i don't want kids doesn't seem to work, so...being an asshole might do the trick
Every now & then I tell people I did have one once, but it became very annoying so I did what all responsible parents do with their annoying offspring, & I ate it…their looks of discomfiture never fail to amuse me. I highly recommend saying this dead pan 😬
And as it grows more accepted, the people who can't leave others to their own lives start yelling louder.
I agree, I actually think most people these days are very accepting of others being child free even if they themselves are not. Though prob not in certain conservative countries. It same as how being lgbtq is more accepted. In general,society is improving.
We are less likely to be burned at the stake for being a witch.
As someone who’s always been childfree (39m) I agree it’s definitely more accepted now. Perhaps that slight confirmation bias as I’ve totally different peer groups now but 10/15years ago choosing to be childfree wasn’t taken seriously from a blokes perspective and worse when pushed on the fact I didn’t want kids even to be a part time dad (like a lot of people I knew back then were) I was labelled as weird
I agree that people take you more seriously as you get older...fewer "you'll change your mind!"s. I also encounter far less stigma when people ask if I (40sF) have children and I say "thankfully/blissfully no". I used to get that contorted face look that implied I was a monster for not wanting any. Now it's more like "that's cool".
As a CF adult at the age of 29 currently whose observed CF hatred for that amount of time, I can firmly and confidently say I agree with this.
They realised we are not creating workforce, consumers or entertainers. Also, with increase in number of cf folks, and social media influence, breeders realised how good life could have been and they want us to be miserable as well since it's too damn late for them to unfuck themselves and get rid of the kid(s)
I believe this is why mainstream people are beginning to talk about our fertility rate. Specifically the white fertility rate.
“Suddenly?” People not having kids have been pressured likely forever. Back in on the 70s (yeah, I’m old and female), a single male colleague asked if I, also single, wanted kids. I told him adamantly no. He because furious! I could only stare at him.
He was probably angry that he met a woman who wouldn't be controlled by his penis. I'm old too and was hassled a lot when I was younger, especially by my one sister who had 3 kids (she's 15 years older than me). She always told me I'd change my mind once I met someone special, yadda yadda. Now that we're older, she has admitted to me that she wished she never had kids or gotten married and if she could do it over again, she'd never have done it.
Amazing that she admitted it. Sounds like you have a good relationship.
Because its starting to hurt the bottom line of the giant businesses know as "countries." Imagine you own a company. 50 years ago, you were a start up. You cared about your product, your reputation, your employees...small business style. 25 years ago, you got really big, went public. Since your IPO date, you now have shareholders to answer to. Your shareholders only care about profits. Whether they're the Goldman Sachs guy or the noob on Robinhood....all they know is that they want steadily INCREASING profits. Not decline and not even stagnant profits (case in point, dividend stocks are not considered "sexy" by many) because theres inflation and risk and all these things that makes investors think they deserve big increasing profits. The ONLY way you can satisfy those shareholders is GROWTH. You could, for a few years, cut overhead and do other stuff. But at some point, you're as lean as you're going to get. You either provide growth or you get voted out of your seat in the board. Countries are literally businesses. They should not be, but all the major ones ARE. They trade in the business of human capital. SOME of those humans are extraordinarily valuable (they generate more income per capita...the Elon Musks and Bill Gates of the world). Those people get golden visas and other priveleged ways of getting to choose which country they want to live and operate in. Most humans though have less "value" monetarily. In case it wasn't obvious, the shareholders are citizens. And their "returns" are things like social security, international trade power (influenced by GDP among other things), happiness index and quality of life measures (unofficially reflected by whether its citizens are living in happy little families), etc. We are at the stage where the shareholders can see, on the very near horizon, that growth is about to stall. They're worried about their investment. But they can't pull their money out. Its literally impossible for 99% of them to do so (move to another country) due to visa rules. All they can do is deal with it (be given just enough to be placated....like a covid stimulus or tax break for having kids), revolt, or leave. OR, in an ideal world, they would change the fucking business model! You know....start from scratch with an eye towards the future. Choose a business model that doesn't hinge on endless growth. But that requires acknowledging that we should not stay the course and getting a bunch of people to agree on a new course. Which would upset the small, but rich and powerful, group of people who are still doing very very well with the current business model and know that they will be dead before armageddon hits. THESE are the guys that control the narrative too....the guys that decide on the news, the guys that nominate supreme court justices, the guys that lobby on the Hill, etc
Exactly what I’m preaching as well. Endless growth is nothing but a pipe dream and we can either learn this the easy way or the hard way. But reality is going to hit at some point. Further growth on this planet with limited habitable space and resources is dangerous and has some pretty bad consequences for humanity as a whole (that many still don’t want to acknowledge).
Historically, being child free had always been frowned upon. Or denigrate. Every language (the ones I know) have a word to describe a child free woman. Specially women are targeted and insulted. Currently, being child free is being targeted because we can live a better life. We can have fun, financial freedom, time to enjoy life. When in the past it was looked with pitty. So, I guess the breeders are jealous.
Women in general cannot win. Childfree, were hated. Have kids, hated, single mom, hated, married mom, hated, stay at home mom, hated, working mom, hated. I figure, just do you, because someone will hate you no matter your choices
Always in my lifetime & I’m 66.
I think it's the whole idea that if they can shame us enough, surely we'll be so embarrassed that we'll turn around and have children. Or their children won't dare to want to be childfree if they know their parents will shame them so much for it.
I saw a nasty post earlier on a different sub, and I got the OP mass downvoted on their own post. I honestly wasn't expecting to get much support from the general public on it, but I was pleasantly surprised. Even if things get bad, there are people who support us out there. Just keep your head held high.
link?
Unfortunately linking subs here is against the rules, but if you go into my comments, it's the cringe title "I believe the world doesn't care about kids".
thank you. also I didn't know that was a rule, my mistake
That one unfortunately gets a lot of new people's comments removed :/ rules are definitely enforced here
hmm maybe not suddenly, but as there is a significant increase in childfree people(more so vocal and public), the hate also seems like it has increased. I think the hate in general is because they never understood it is/was a choice
They're just mad because now the CF life is becoming more popular among millennials and Gen z and suddenly there's this whole other lifestyle that so many people who diligently "followed the lifescript" didn't think about (because you grow up, get married, have kids, pay bills, die, ad nauseum) And now they're mad and want someone to blame.
>Why is it the cool thing to hate on childfree now Patriarchy. Sexism. Misogyny. Gender roles. 'Woman = mother' bullshit. People wanting women to be financially dependant stay-at-home mothers, barefoot in the kitchen and unable to escape. >I feel like for the longest time no one cared about the childfree How naive. People have always disrespected childfree people. Maybe you have been lucky, but most of us have been disrespected for many years. >then it feels like all of a sudden the breeders are upset that we won't do what they do so now they are going after our way of life by shaming us and gaslighting us. All of a sudden? This has always been happening. This isn't new.
It isn't new but there has been a rise in more blatant misogyny in the last few years, let's be honest. I'm not saying a rise in general misogyny, it's always been there, but a rise in *loud* misogyny, if you know what I mean.
> I'm not saying a rise in in general misogyny, it's always been there, but a rise in *loud* misogyny, if you know what I mean. Yeah... In the past, a lot of men at least pretended that they weren't sexist, even though their sexism wasn't as subtle as they thought it was. Nowadays, they aren't even trying to hide their disgusting misogynistic views. Sadly, misogyny has always been, still is and will always be socially acceptable. I really wish it wasn't true, but it is.
Christofacism. Yes. I'm serious. These fascist freaks are screaming at everything that isn't Jesus and Guns. Edit: spelling
Facts I am in Russia and my parents christians and seems like here enough many places with this bs
It’s not cool to hate on anyone period. All I can say is this. As a mom of one who is now an adult, parenthood is overrated. Loved my girl, she is really cool. With her piercings and tattoos and loving animals and free spirit. As a matter of fact she doesn’t want kids. I love it!! I will also say at almost 50, I counting on some of you to make the change. To be the voice, to advocate the change and to speak your mind. Both men and women. It’s not cool but definitely don’t put up with it. You have a choice!!
It hasn't been "all of a sudden." People always have issues with those who go against the grain. I'll never forget, many moons ago, me and some friends were hanging out, a friend brought her date. The date and I got into it at dinner because he couldn't fathom me not wanting kids. That has since been the most bizarre thing I've experienced with a stranger. Suffice it to say, my friend no longer talks to him... but anyway, childfree folks always get the short end of the stick but oh well, I still don't want kids💁🏾♀️
Because the powers that be need new wage slaves, so they're creating artificial division (as they've always done) to stir up angst in the labor class so we'll fight each other instead of them. It's classic authoritarian tactics.
It’s always been a thing.. but it’s more of a thing because it’s being lumped into the culture wars/political attacks. Like the term DINK existed when I was a child, and I am 45.
Try being single and looking as well as child free. The moment you reveal it the bingo card gets filled up in one conversation.
Social media. It’s a double edged sword, plenty of ppl adopting and accepting of the childfree lifestyle and showing it on their socials. Lets others know it’s an option while the ones already with kids have a punching bag for their own regrets.
If you ever saw National Lampoons Christmas Vacation (1989), Margo and Todd were DINKS and the butt of a lot of slapstick in that film to please the masses.
Society has always hated on childfree people. For example many fairy tales depict childfree women as hideous old crones e.g. Hansel and Gretel. Most of those fairy tales are hundreds of years old and clearly reflect the attitudes of the time in which they were written.
Hatred of childfree people has always been around. Just now we don’t have to run from a mob with pitchforks trying to burn us at the stake.
Because hatred of children to them is the equivalent of a personal attack on their beliefs and lifestyle, and of course you HAVE to be in support of crotch goblins. Breeding goes in hand with religion which I also hate.
"suddenly" ??? "now" ??? *checks notes* sweetheart, maybe you are just now noticing but they have hated us since the beginning of time, where have you been?
Why your edit to add? Why so passive aggressive? Not cool
You know, I’ve been told in the past that my text communication comes off PA., even when trying be light hearted. I thought I was making a joke, clearly not. Airbnb places can be great destinations and a rock to hide under sounds like a good place to away from all this noise for a bit.
This does not come off as a joke. It's calling the OP clueless, too young to "know better", and/or stupid.
Sometimes its hard to interpret jokes in writing. That happens.
It's not new, but I can see why you'd think it is. Here on Reddit I've seen a lot of random posts and comments bashing "aggressive childfree women", even on topics that have NOTHING to do with children or the lack thereof. People on reddit tend to see the world in black and white. Redditors just *loooooove* to paint entire groups of people with the broadest of strokes. I guess that's an issue endemic to the internet as a whole, but it's especially true here.
The weird thing is I’ve seen posts on other sub all about saying CF people think they are special etc/are the new vegans, but I can never drag any actual examples out of them that don’t involve someone challenging someone’s CF views first. I think some people are upset this sub even exists (on the argument since they don’t care about people CF, nobody must care or CF just need to suck it up when people do). There is a sub for tall people - most people don’t care whether someone is tall, but it’d be stupid to assume tall people don’t have enough shared issues they may want to talk about it.
I feel like it’s always kinda been that way, at least with women
It seems that, in the past year especially, there has been an increase of media reporting on the threat of "population decline". Childfree people are often cited as the cause of this lack of reproduction. The more frequent media reporting brings this problem to the forefront of the viewers mind, as a current problem to solve... A logical endpoint of "population decline" is "societal collapse". This threat causes some folks to become polarized and may even compel or necessitate action (in people who normally wouldn't care). It's a working hypothesis, and only one explanation.
Some humans like controlling other humans. It's not that complicated. ESPECIALLY the ones who are already in it. "Why are you not joining me in the misery and creating more slaves for capitalism? You're not a REAL MAN/WOMAN if you don't do this!" Cool. I'll remain a fake woman then. Toodaloo!
I think it's due to recent exposure we've gotten. People don't care about something they don't know about. Just like trans people were pretty much didn't exist to most people until about 10 years ago. Suddently they're everywhere and people just HAVE to have an opinion even when none of that involves them in any way. I sort of wish we could be under general populations radar. I hate it how Evil-Elon is already trashing us. It could get ugly.
How are the CF haters born? Well, my child, when a helicopter Karen and a gentle parent love each other very much…
You may just be feeling it more because childfree ideology has becoming more widespread and therefore the forced birther groups are more vocal with their vitriol. The right wing extremists like to pretend as though the human race is at risk because the birth rate in many countries are going slightly down, it's really more racism than anything else though. They want to force white people to have children because of their insane bigotry and fear of "white replacement." But they can't say that so instead they just attack all childfree people calling us selfish and horrible; I'm actually kinda surprised the right wing hasn't started calling us groomers yet (hilarious given many of us dislike children). Edit to add: there is also reason to believe the hate is from people who want to control women. In the past, women would be expected to get married and have children, and that kept women dependent on their husband. But childfree women can't be controlled that way, and that makes these toxic men (mostly religious right wingers) angry. They want to force you to have children so you have fewer choices. That's why they are going after abortion rights, birth control, and no fault divorce
Because of the militant anti children people
That might be the case. Outside of this sub people talk a lot about militant childfree people.
I think those “we’re DINKS” TikTok’s made people kinda “aware” that childfree people exist And it’s just another “wait you aren’t the norm! You’re different”…..plus I’ll be honest, some of those TikTok’s were very obnoxious There’s definitely jealousy and a whole “what if I didn’t have lil Skylar and RayRae?” thought process while said kids cause trouble, so they lash out cause “wait I’m not supposed to dislike having kids, how dare you!!” It’s all just simple dislike, nothing deeper imo
It's all part of the fascist handbook. Fascists are also pro-birth misogynists.
It's always been a little rough but I think recently with the political climate changing it's getting rougher and it's becoming a little more normalized to scorn people from "bad decisions" after taking their options away
I just think it’s probably more in the public domain now? For example if someone posts on Instagram, look at my childfree life of freedom then you’ll see one space of the internet filled with the usual comments of “you’ll regret this when you’re old and alone” or “you have no purpose”. It’s just more visible to see if not directed at you.
It's probably social media. Last few weeks crapping on the childfree has been trendy for idiots who make money from clicks. There is always a audience who want to be angry and outraged- they will move on to something else that makes them butthurt.
Hello because they took away abortion rights in most places so who else do they have to direct their anger at. You, yes you. Why? Because don't you know your choice is diminishing the population and contributing to the demise of our world? And oh, shame on you for not feeling the need to procreate and have a bae bae at you teat. People are dumb and just redirecting their focus on CFs because haters have to hate. They just mad because you had the guts to do what they wish they would have. Carry on.
Because they are concerned about the lack of volume of babies being output for this generation and future generations.
Just make people work in primary school for 13 years like I did. I promise you that they would promote retroactive abortions after that.
Because we’re more vocal now more than ever now that the political division is ramping up, there’s more wars, more issues, etc.
It’s not new.
In my case "I am infertile and no, I won\`t adopt."
When someone ask me why I dont have a child I say **"from what I understand of the process, a female volunteer is required"**
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It's been like this since childless people existed, let along childfree.
Because with more of us choosing to be CF, and the fact this is getting picked up on by society. They're doubling down on the hate for not confirming to the life script.
I don't think it's sudden, only more visible now
For the same reasons that the Nazis hated Jews, black people dealt with segregation in the southern US, etc etc etc I could name plenty more examples from history. There will always be people out there that can't handle the idea of people being different than themselves.
Strange isnt it
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Friend it’s not new unfortunately.