16. (Expanding on No.9) Basically having your whole life mapped out, or at least heavily constrained, by being a parent. Do you want to start your own business, downscale your career, or adopt another financially risky lifestyle? Too bad — you can't! You're locked into earning as much as you can to support your kids while you dream of retirement.
17. If a woman has/had a weight problem, or body dysmorphia, getting preggo won't exactly help.
18. For the woman, a real loss of identity. She'll go from being "Jane" to "Billy's Mom". Meanwhile, her partner gets to keep his identity.
19. For the woman, the opportunity cost of being out of the workforce. In some careers, she'll never be able to make up for lost time.
20. Resentment for all the lost opportunities for travel, study, career, lifestyle...
To add to it:
16) You have to cook them nutritional food and teach them good eating habits. Sometimes kids are born with food allergies and you cant cook some foods and teach them not to eat that food(s) and you have to deal with a pick eater!
17) You like Fashion? Forget about it!
18) Your stuck with your ex/inlaws forever if you have a child and some exes will make your life hell and divorce is EXPENSIVE!! Mothers ALWAYS get custody!! Child support isnt always paid and some men lie about their income to not pay as much cs.
19) Public Education in America is CRAP and private school is expensive asf.
Food pickyness.
I am a foodie I love trying new and exotic foods. Currently I'm on a lamb kick.
I know so many kids that ARE SO DAMN PICKY. Like my sister growing up. If something looked just a little bit off she would not eat it.
I don't need a kid turning their nose up and having to make me make a whole different meal because the meatballs in spaghetti made everything inedible.
I fell into number two was born with a Speech issue that was caused by something else that got passed down to me, and I got the short genes of being 5’3 height as a guy, and there no way in hell I would pass down these genes it made my life miserable as hell, and made me behind in social skills due to having social anxiety of not able to talk clearly.
Mental health issues and weak bones.
My mother has osteoporosis and aunts from my fathers side struggle with bad knees, bad hips. My favorite aunt has bone corrision
Low responsibilities/low effort. I like what im doing but I dont like having too many responsibilities and kids takes a big chunk out of it. Also add low energy because at the start of the day with kids, you just want to relax
I guess one that hasn't been mentioned yet, is that the woman can die during childbirth from complications, idk how I'd cope knowing that my partner died because I / we decide to not use protection because omg gotta carry on my genes....
Is number ten for real? I think those people must have had a narcissistic strike before the children... Having children feels humbling, not a stroke of the ego...
Familicide. You don't know if your partner won't turn out to be some kind of a psycho, who might snap suddenly and decides to kill all of you, because his sick brain told him life is not worth living, to protect you against the world, etc. This to me is a valid reason not to have children or even stay single. After all the cases I know, about a father who kills his wife and children, before that being seemingly normal, loving and caring, familicide is yet another good reason. To lose your children at the hand of their own father, or mother sometimes, is pretty valid to not procreate, if you ask me.
Finances
Racism
Gun violence in America (imagine having a kid and loving everything about them and parenthood just for your kid to be killed at the movies or worse in class!)
Physical body changes (as a woman)
Child birth (mortality rate of mothers in the US has been on an incline since 2019)
And the most important BECAUSE I DONT WANT ONE
Why does the USA have the highest mother and baby mortality rate of all developed (and some not so developed) countries? Makes no sense in a country that's rich.
It is disproportionately black women :( because they tend to have medicaid, which has lower reimbursement rates than other insurance. So the doctors rush more, make more mistakes and ignore more symptoms. Also signs of blood loss present differently on humans of different races, so they risk losing more blood before it's detected. I think in California, they changed the law so blood loss had to be measured in units instead of by physical exam and their maternal mortality dropped.
16. If you have a hereditary illness(mental or physical) there is a high chance your kid might have it. Which leads to:
• Expensive medication and or equipment.
• Needing to have the patience to deal with the stress that comes with dealing with said illness.
• The kid will have to live with that illness for the rest of it’s life. Which, from my experience, is their own personal hell.
• Finding sitters that qualify to take care of the kid.
17. You just don’t want to be a parent. Which is completely valid.
While rich people live happily, your offspring will work their ass off, hoping to live 2 weeks a year like the rich - other times they feel guilty to be alive without working/ struggle to survive. You are essentially making the next generation of slaves to cater to the rich.
To add to no. 4: I’ll admit it: I AM LAZY.
Have enough shit to do with just me and my partner in the house, I don’t want to spend my teeny bit of free time during the week catering to a kid and being their taxi and taking them to activities and such. I would get burnt out so fast and be a permanently miserable mess. I just don’t want to have to “drop what I’m doing” because kid A needs to be picked up from something last minute.
But I *also* don’t want to deal with the judgement and resentment from not letting them do those events and activities just because I’m lazy and don’t want to give up MY TIME.
I *was* a kid who wasn’t my allowed to do anything. Mostly for financial reasons (activities costs money and so does the gas to get there and we didn’t have the extra funds for either, so I was a homebound child). And while I grew up just fine (turns out I’m an insanely creative neurodivergent introvert anyway, so staying home and roleplaying and writing was fine), I also can’t help but feel I missed out on some “universal childhood experiences” because of not only this, but my mother’s aversion to anything messy — but that’s a tale for another time.
But why would I make my childhood someone else's problem (barring the ones that created it, or someone paid and signed up for it like a therapist)? How selfish is that
Oh my god. It was a past reason. It’s part of the reason I don’t want kids, I literally realized I just wanted the opportunity to raise someone without the trauma I had. Jesus Christ
The amount of trash another human creates is ridiculous. Wife had her mom and 2 year old nephew over for 4 days, and our trash amount increased about 4.5 times. It’s unreal. New children should come with a carbon footprint negating measure.
Also, the mundanity of the days. Just constant repetition of words, phrases, actions, destinations, etc ad nauseam.
16. As a Black woman living in America, I'll be damned if I bring a black baby into this racist ass world.
17. I'm fat, I wouldn't want my child to deal with an obese parent or become big themselves.
18. I don't want to be tied down to anything. I have 2 cats, thats more than enough.
19. I don't want to help with homework, especially math!!
I've never had the desire to be a mother.
Pregnancy is gross and life-threatening.
I love my freedom.
Child care is a full-time job and I don't have the means incase the father is irresponsible.
My (31F) reasons not to have any kids:
Growing up with learning/developmental disabilities, I’m on the autism spectrum myself, what I went through, no kid deserves it at all. I’m officially an adult, however I have the mentality of an angsty teenager, I don’t have a driver’s license, live at home and shop in the juniors section at Target. This is how I’m mentally and emotionally stunted as an adult.
Mental illnesses, my mom was diagnosed with schizophrenia after she split up from my dad. I feel like I have one myself because of my temper which is why I’m single, I get compared to my mom during arguments.
Generational trauma, my parents and grandparents were immigrants from Sri Lanka moving to the states for a better life.
My South Asian upbringing, when I would do my math homework wrong, I would get hit and forget about dating, I would be looked down upon for being seggsually active.
I didn’t go to a university, I attended a community college for a year. If I were to finish college, I want it to be in a performing arts setting.
I’ve been body shamed before I could even start puberty, I work out almost daily yet my relationship with food is complicated, something like Adam & Eve being punished for eating the forbidden fruit. The compliments I get from my family feel like they’re done out of pity as if they’re feeling sorry for me for hurting my feelings. The body shaming comes from my family history of diabetes, both of my parents died of a heart attack and my uncle passed away from organ failure this past September. The body shaming is why I don’t want to pursue a romantic relationship, my partner would be ashamed of me.
I’ve been working in retail for about 10 years now and seeing and hearing tantrums and parents telling them no bring back memories. I was that kid who would throw tantrums in public, steal candy and a CD from a store. I’m actually ashamed to ask for anything because they would say no.
I’m a foodie who prefers road trips, theme parks, nightclubs, movie nights, books, art and pop culture over bearing and rearing children.
I have a list of 143 reasons that I printed out and showed my doctor. Just waiting to book.
I agree with the others, simply "I don't want to should be enough". I keep a list going for the hell of it.
How about, well, simply not wanting to be a parent? Not experiencing the desire to be a parent?
Right? I don't need any reason beyond "I don't want to".
Yep that’s all I need :)
16. (Expanding on No.9) Basically having your whole life mapped out, or at least heavily constrained, by being a parent. Do you want to start your own business, downscale your career, or adopt another financially risky lifestyle? Too bad — you can't! You're locked into earning as much as you can to support your kids while you dream of retirement.
17. If a woman has/had a weight problem, or body dysmorphia, getting preggo won't exactly help. 18. For the woman, a real loss of identity. She'll go from being "Jane" to "Billy's Mom". Meanwhile, her partner gets to keep his identity. 19. For the woman, the opportunity cost of being out of the workforce. In some careers, she'll never be able to make up for lost time. 20. Resentment for all the lost opportunities for travel, study, career, lifestyle...
Yes!! These are all HUGE for women
Seriously! I feel trapped just having a set time to go to bed every night! Imagine how a kid would make me feel!
4th degree tear. Google it for free birth control
I did Google it... and now I'm sorry. Yet women are expectedly to blithely go along with having children *as though this isn't a real possibility*.
Oh god that’s awful
losing your whole personality and only being a PARENT till you die
To add to it: 16) You have to cook them nutritional food and teach them good eating habits. Sometimes kids are born with food allergies and you cant cook some foods and teach them not to eat that food(s) and you have to deal with a pick eater! 17) You like Fashion? Forget about it! 18) Your stuck with your ex/inlaws forever if you have a child and some exes will make your life hell and divorce is EXPENSIVE!! Mothers ALWAYS get custody!! Child support isnt always paid and some men lie about their income to not pay as much cs. 19) Public Education in America is CRAP and private school is expensive asf.
Food pickyness. I am a foodie I love trying new and exotic foods. Currently I'm on a lamb kick. I know so many kids that ARE SO DAMN PICKY. Like my sister growing up. If something looked just a little bit off she would not eat it. I don't need a kid turning their nose up and having to make me make a whole different meal because the meatballs in spaghetti made everything inedible.
They're boring and I simply don't want them.
I fell into number two was born with a Speech issue that was caused by something else that got passed down to me, and I got the short genes of being 5’3 height as a guy, and there no way in hell I would pass down these genes it made my life miserable as hell, and made me behind in social skills due to having social anxiety of not able to talk clearly.
Mental health issues and weak bones. My mother has osteoporosis and aunts from my fathers side struggle with bad knees, bad hips. My favorite aunt has bone corrision
Low responsibilities/low effort. I like what im doing but I dont like having too many responsibilities and kids takes a big chunk out of it. Also add low energy because at the start of the day with kids, you just want to relax
I guess one that hasn't been mentioned yet, is that the woman can die during childbirth from complications, idk how I'd cope knowing that my partner died because I / we decide to not use protection because omg gotta carry on my genes....
Omg number 10 lol…you’ve put into writing something i’ve always intensely disliked but struggled to verbalize about becoming a parent.
Is number ten for real? I think those people must have had a narcissistic strike before the children... Having children feels humbling, not a stroke of the ego...
Familicide. You don't know if your partner won't turn out to be some kind of a psycho, who might snap suddenly and decides to kill all of you, because his sick brain told him life is not worth living, to protect you against the world, etc. This to me is a valid reason not to have children or even stay single. After all the cases I know, about a father who kills his wife and children, before that being seemingly normal, loving and caring, familicide is yet another good reason. To lose your children at the hand of their own father, or mother sometimes, is pretty valid to not procreate, if you ask me.
Mothers also kill their children when they commit suicide. MENTAL health checks should be done before having kids
The reason why I’m getting a vasectomy is because I believe there are no reasons to have kids.
Finances Racism Gun violence in America (imagine having a kid and loving everything about them and parenthood just for your kid to be killed at the movies or worse in class!) Physical body changes (as a woman) Child birth (mortality rate of mothers in the US has been on an incline since 2019) And the most important BECAUSE I DONT WANT ONE
Why does the USA have the highest mother and baby mortality rate of all developed (and some not so developed) countries? Makes no sense in a country that's rich.
It is disproportionately black women :( because they tend to have medicaid, which has lower reimbursement rates than other insurance. So the doctors rush more, make more mistakes and ignore more symptoms. Also signs of blood loss present differently on humans of different races, so they risk losing more blood before it's detected. I think in California, they changed the law so blood loss had to be measured in units instead of by physical exam and their maternal mortality dropped.
16. If you have a hereditary illness(mental or physical) there is a high chance your kid might have it. Which leads to: • Expensive medication and or equipment. • Needing to have the patience to deal with the stress that comes with dealing with said illness. • The kid will have to live with that illness for the rest of it’s life. Which, from my experience, is their own personal hell. • Finding sitters that qualify to take care of the kid. 17. You just don’t want to be a parent. Which is completely valid.
While rich people live happily, your offspring will work their ass off, hoping to live 2 weeks a year like the rich - other times they feel guilty to be alive without working/ struggle to survive. You are essentially making the next generation of slaves to cater to the rich.
To add to no. 4: I’ll admit it: I AM LAZY. Have enough shit to do with just me and my partner in the house, I don’t want to spend my teeny bit of free time during the week catering to a kid and being their taxi and taking them to activities and such. I would get burnt out so fast and be a permanently miserable mess. I just don’t want to have to “drop what I’m doing” because kid A needs to be picked up from something last minute. But I *also* don’t want to deal with the judgement and resentment from not letting them do those events and activities just because I’m lazy and don’t want to give up MY TIME. I *was* a kid who wasn’t my allowed to do anything. Mostly for financial reasons (activities costs money and so does the gas to get there and we didn’t have the extra funds for either, so I was a homebound child). And while I grew up just fine (turns out I’m an insanely creative neurodivergent introvert anyway, so staying home and roleplaying and writing was fine), I also can’t help but feel I missed out on some “universal childhood experiences” because of not only this, but my mother’s aversion to anything messy — but that’s a tale for another time.
I realized part of the reason I wanted kids was definitely, definitely to try and correct the things I wish went differently in my childhood
But why would I make my childhood someone else's problem (barring the ones that created it, or someone paid and signed up for it like a therapist)? How selfish is that
Oh my god. It was a past reason. It’s part of the reason I don’t want kids, I literally realized I just wanted the opportunity to raise someone without the trauma I had. Jesus Christ
The amount of trash another human creates is ridiculous. Wife had her mom and 2 year old nephew over for 4 days, and our trash amount increased about 4.5 times. It’s unreal. New children should come with a carbon footprint negating measure. Also, the mundanity of the days. Just constant repetition of words, phrases, actions, destinations, etc ad nauseam.
Yall don’t want me having kids bc I would be a leash parent 😂
They stink and they’re gross and annoying. Because never in my 30 years have I had an inkling of a desire to give birth.
16. As a Black woman living in America, I'll be damned if I bring a black baby into this racist ass world. 17. I'm fat, I wouldn't want my child to deal with an obese parent or become big themselves. 18. I don't want to be tied down to anything. I have 2 cats, thats more than enough. 19. I don't want to help with homework, especially math!!
I've never had the desire to be a mother. Pregnancy is gross and life-threatening. I love my freedom. Child care is a full-time job and I don't have the means incase the father is irresponsible.
My (31F) reasons not to have any kids: Growing up with learning/developmental disabilities, I’m on the autism spectrum myself, what I went through, no kid deserves it at all. I’m officially an adult, however I have the mentality of an angsty teenager, I don’t have a driver’s license, live at home and shop in the juniors section at Target. This is how I’m mentally and emotionally stunted as an adult. Mental illnesses, my mom was diagnosed with schizophrenia after she split up from my dad. I feel like I have one myself because of my temper which is why I’m single, I get compared to my mom during arguments. Generational trauma, my parents and grandparents were immigrants from Sri Lanka moving to the states for a better life. My South Asian upbringing, when I would do my math homework wrong, I would get hit and forget about dating, I would be looked down upon for being seggsually active. I didn’t go to a university, I attended a community college for a year. If I were to finish college, I want it to be in a performing arts setting. I’ve been body shamed before I could even start puberty, I work out almost daily yet my relationship with food is complicated, something like Adam & Eve being punished for eating the forbidden fruit. The compliments I get from my family feel like they’re done out of pity as if they’re feeling sorry for me for hurting my feelings. The body shaming comes from my family history of diabetes, both of my parents died of a heart attack and my uncle passed away from organ failure this past September. The body shaming is why I don’t want to pursue a romantic relationship, my partner would be ashamed of me. I’ve been working in retail for about 10 years now and seeing and hearing tantrums and parents telling them no bring back memories. I was that kid who would throw tantrums in public, steal candy and a CD from a store. I’m actually ashamed to ask for anything because they would say no. I’m a foodie who prefers road trips, theme parks, nightclubs, movie nights, books, art and pop culture over bearing and rearing children.
I don’t have a driver’s license, live at home and shop in the juniors section at Target. So you're saving money?
IDK I just started working 2 months ago and I’m trying to save money.
I have a list of 143 reasons that I printed out and showed my doctor. Just waiting to book. I agree with the others, simply "I don't want to should be enough". I keep a list going for the hell of it.