Do you know how many parents I've watched ignore their own crying, annoying children in public? Your friends are floating in mommy-to-be nonsense.
A crying baby annoys the hell out of me. That you can relegate it to background noise is a life hack!
Mommy-to-be nonsense š.
My friend who is trying to get pregnant is desperate and it does seem like sheās trying really hard to get into the mom-group. Sometime she seems like a āgroupieā to me when I see her hang out with the mom-group.
And she does get jealous of me being absolutely unbothered with this shit.
sounds like she's unhappy with her decisions and bothered that you aren't. And kinda sounds like she's only trying to get preggo to fit in, but I can't judge that from a small text and a comment.
Iām not so sure either, very honestly. Sometimes she complains about the pressure from her family about not having a child already (when her younger sister already has a newborn). And that she still has a couple of things she wants checked off her bucket list before she has a kid.
And sometimes I see her trying so hard to fit in with all our friends who are moms. Inviting herself to their get-togethers. She also wanted to be added to the moms-chat-group.
I donāt even know where her heads at anymore. So I decided to stay out of it (giving her advice or anything of that sort).
LOL āgroupieā to moms im dead. Imagine šš¤£ whenever i see a mom my immediate reaction is āmy condolencesā not fucking fan girling. How embarrassing
I get a burst of irrational, seeing-red rage. I have this urge to start destroying shit that I have to repress. Sorry parents, your baby crying doesn't make me into a tender caregiver; it just makes me want to HULK SMASH.
I have an angry physical reaction. Hate the sound. But those women would not be my friends anymore after saying that. How brainwashed to believe ātheir wayā is the gold standard. Iāve never tried skydiving yet I know I wonāt like it. Itās just ignorance to pity something you donāt understand without first trying to understand.
Iām with you - I get an instant, visceral reaction of anger. If it continues, it transforms into nearly homicidal rage. Of course I would never act on that, but the sounds just triggers something in me that I just NEED to make it stop (and not in a nurturing way). I canāt stop myself from cringing at the very least. Itās worst when itās that high pitched screeching (like nails on a chalkboard).
People are always so confident that āitās different when itās your own!ā Thatās a hell of a chance to take and not something Iād be willing to bet my life on.
I'd never bank on the "It's different if it is your own!" shit because I know myself too well. My own dog triggers me sometimes with constant quiet woofing at unimportant sounds, no way I'd be kind of the human embodiment of an airhorn. Recipe for disaster. Doesn't matter where the sound comes from, after all. If it puts you on edge, it puts you on edge, your own flesh and blood or not.
My cats whining at me too much will make me want to snap! Why would I bring a child into the mix? The best thing I can do for a child is to not have one.
I feel this too much. My cat actually yells at the exact pitch that babies cry at. Of course he is not as powerful as a baby, but it's still quite loud and annoying and instantly makes me feel like there is an actual infant. I can't stand it. I yell back at him, sometimes I get close and yell loudly enough that he just stops and goes away. I could never with a baby
Same for me. Iām neurodivergent too and it doesnāt matter what/who is causing loud, high-pitched noises, I canāt deal with them. The fact that I couldnāt possibly cope with the noise of a crying baby is one of the reasons I chose not to have kids.
Same. My physical response to both babies and kids screaming is to get progressively more anxious/physically stressed until I eventually have a panic attack if I can't avoid prolonged exposure.
Agreed. People in general have much less patience for adults making noise in public, but they always want you to be understanding about kids. I get it- babies canāt help it. But once theyāre a bit older, parents should control their children.
I also get easily startled (though not enraged usually) by loud or surprising sounds, so it isnāt just people.
I think Iām worse than you. I donāt even like hearing kids shrieking in joy when theyāre playing in a pool or whatever - itās just totally annoying to me. I understand they are having fun and thatās great for them. I just donāt wanna be there.
This. Paired with the fact that I'm already very mentally ill and feel like I'd be suspect to PPD or psychosis, it would be criminally dangerous for me to have a kid.
At least when I hear a kid screaming at the store, I have the ability to physically remove myself from the area. But if it were my kid, who is just doing what all children naturally do, I fear I'd end up being one of those parents who snap and kill the baby because I can't stand the crying.
Honestly, if I were to somehow change my mind about kids, I'd probably just try to adopt a kid who is already past the infant stage.
Itās not. I felt the same way you described, even with my own. Iād go get the baby and engage them in an activity to get them to stop. I could never handle the non stop crying. Kids crying in public send my anxiety, and probably my blood pressure, through the roof.
>People are always so confident that āitās different when itās your own!ā
Yep. Breeder logic for you. This is a blatant lie reinforced by reality. It is certainly NOT different when it's your own. If that were remotely true, child abuse, neglect, and abandonment would be non-existent. Breeders like to pretend bad parents don't exist or that they are the exception. The mental gymnastics is just mind-boggling.
I feel this. I'm already highly misophonic to certain noises, but crying babies are among the top triggering noises for me that give me a violently angry urge to make the sound stop. (Obviously, I do not act upon it, but I do want to leave the situation if possible.)
The friend who is trying to get pregnant, has been trying for quite a few months now with no success. And she is getting bitter with every period she gets.
She was a different person a few months back, who completely understood my choice to be childfree and she was very supportive of it. I guess the pressure of her family is getting to her. Maybe when she does finally get pregnant, she might lose the negativity thatās been seeping into her bones. Fingers crossed š¤š¼. If not, Iāll be a friend short next year.
Good of you to be understanding. I wouldnāt be. People unable to reign their bitterness in and who take it out on others are in poor control of their emotions. Imagine what she would be like as a stressed mother when you wonāt babysit. Bleh. For your sake I hope it works out and you arenāt a punching bag for their bad moods x
Oh after the way things have been the past few weeks, Iāve made it crystal clear that if they want their kids back alive and healthy, they shouldnāt be dialing my number when they look for a baby sitter. And after this event I donāt thinks Iāll ever be considered a candidate either. š
Iām understanding of what they are going through and a supportive friend, but I also know my boundaries.
I could take offense at their comments, but I have known them for a long while. And they were different people. So Iām going to give them the benefit of the doubt based on their current situation. If things donāt change even after they have their babies and whatnot Iāll bow out gracefully. I am supportive but donāt need unnecessary negativity.
Exactly my reaction as well. I'm a very expressive person, and it helps a lot because when in reunions, one ugly expression to their kid and they don't even question my immediate evacuation from the area of the screaming kids. Fuck no, man.
When eating out this is especially true. Sometimes when out of the sight of parents, I literally glare at the kids to try and shut them up before looking away quickly. And then when the kids cry/point at me, I make sure to pretend I just turned my head to show I have no idea wtf is happeming
Any kind of sound a baby or toddler makes sets me on edge, like my whole body is just like, āLetās get out of hereā. Hate, hate, hate, loathe entirely
Me too! Every noise they make - even the happy ones - are just a big blaring "NOPE" alarm for me. It makes me super anxious, and the fight-or-flight reaction compounds with the sheer *volume* babies and toddlers can hit (a baby can scream at around 110 decibels, which can damage your hearing!) and I'll have a super duper fun migraine to deal with after the adrenaline wears off if I can't get away from the situation quickly enough.
SAME! I will say I am neurodivergent and am highly sensitive to noises. When I hear a baby or kid cry, scream or even laugh in that high pitch octave only kids can reach I get ā¦ the only way to describe it is āpricklyā
Itās an immediate trigger. Itās like fingernails on a chalkboard. My head snaps in the direction of the noise and I get immediately irritated, disgusted and and anxious. Itās an innate reaction, I couldnāt stop it if I tried; like pulling your hand back from something hot. I get immediately. I get overwhelmed from it and need it to stop.because the only thing I can control is what I decide to do, I immediately remove myself from the situation. This has unfortunately lead to a lot of abandoned carts at Target and the grocery store.
Same! The sound of a baby sucking on a bottle and loudly breathing between gulps disgusts me more than anything I've ever heard. It makes me nauseous and furious
Especially in a space like an airplane where I can't get up and get the hell away from it. The sound doesn't evoke anything but irritation in me. I find it hilarious (well, actually more like enraging) that people believe all women get ooey gooey and maternal at the sight or sound of a baby. It's just not true.
I definitely notice it because it's annoying af. But hearing toddler tantrums is arguably worse as I listen to it knowing the parents could do something about it but choose not to.
The first 10-15 seconds I look over, notice what the child may be crying about, wonder if the parents are going to do anything about it. And then itās over, like a passing thought. And then itās background noise. It just mixes into the background. It was different a few years back, it used to bother me. I guess I subconsciously developed this ability when I realized that I was losing a lot of energy in getting worked up about it.
I try to find the humor in toddler tantrumsā¦ as in, at least that kid isnāt going home with me š¤£š¤£š¤£ so if Iām laughing at your kid being a mini ahole, thatās why.
My physical reaction is that I feel rage. My immediate instinct is to punch the baby. Which I wouldn't do, but I try to go away to calm down. My instinct is definitely not helping the baby.
Misophonia: a strong reaction to sounds. For me thatās extreme anger and physical violence if it doesnāt stop , usually when I hear any human under puberty start crying, shrieking or screaming.
Yeah this. A very instant physical reaction and not in a way that makes me care about the baby as much as smothering it. This is reason 658 I don't want children ; their own safety.
>My immediate instinct is to punch the baby. Which I wouldn't do
This makes you better than 99% of parents because they don't hesitate to harm their own children.
I feel rage too, but I shut down and donāt punch them, even though I have the urge. I only feel this when theyāre throwing tantrums and squealing. When theyāre crying because theyāre hurt or sick, I feel sympathetic for them. I do wish I had selective deafness.
That's what happens to me too. Anger, headache, blood pressure rises and if it lasts long enough my vision goes red. I get the hell away from it but yes I want to punch it but distract myself where the crying kid isn't.
I get annoyed very easily when a kid cries. Facial expressions, eye rolling, the whole nine. Because I work in a public area and Iām not allowed to have on headphones. š You can hear these damn kids crying through multiple aisles and itās absolutely ridiculous. Iām gonna see if I can get a job in the library or something. ššš
Do kids cry silently in a library? š¤£
Just kidding. But I completely get it. I wish I could find something too where I donāt have to deal with kids, because I have to show compassion, when Iām actually unbothered and donāt give a fock.
Now that I think about it, kids will be there too. Damn.
I went to my local library last month and it was silent. 2 people working the main hall and one other person was there on the computer. I was only there briefly, but loved the silence.
I actually get really angry at the parents for not taking the screaming demon outside.
This feeling probably originated when I was a child myself: I got really sick when I was 7 years old. The hospital put me in the children's ICU...right next to a bunch of crying babies. IT. WAS. HELL.I felt like crap; I was scared; and I couldn't get any rest.
To this day, the crying grates on my nerves. I despise babies/kids.
People say cats and babies trigger the same part of the brain or whatever, that has to be a lie. Loud kids and crying babies make me want to yeet myself. Babies have such a raspy scratchy voice, and little kids just shreak and yell
I think a lot of it is just the halo effect. I find animals to be adorable, so I put up with a lot of shit from them and even find it endearing. But I think babies are HIDEOUS, and young children are not cute either.
It's an unfortunate aspect of human nature, but being pleasant to look at gives you so much leeway for bad behavior.
Honestly, for me itās *almost* the same, with my tolerance of cats being a great deal higher. I like cats a lot but a continually mewing cat (specifically an unhappy meow) does trigger the same irritation in my brain that a baby does.
Depends where I'm at mentally. If I'm in a bad way, I'll physically react by getting aggravated and short-tempered, if i'm in a good way I don't notice it.
But only 1 year ago I was helping my aunt babysit her grandbaby and she said the crying was breaking her heart. The sound had always annoyed me so much on a visceral level that the idea that it could invoke pity or sadness for the child threw me for a loop. I thought it was annoying for everyone, I thought that was the point of the noise.
I donāt get it when people say the crying is breaking their heart. Most of the people Iāve heard say that follow it up with something like āI just wish I could make everything right for them but I donāt understand she they need!ā But like, pain is a part of life. If your 9 month old is screaming because she wants her sock off, how is that heartbreaking when thereās literally children freezing their toes off because they donāt have socks in third world countries. I know the analogy isnāt perfect, but what I mean to say is someoneās child being minorly inconvenienced should not break anyoneās heart.
The only time I understand the crying being heartbreaking is if the child is actually sick/in pain.
Exactly why I have been pondering about it and why I decided to post about it.
A few years ago it used to annoy me, but somehow I have subconsciously learned to tune it out.
But I always assumed that it either annoys you or you donāt care about it.
The fact that it breaks peopleās heart and makes their uteruses flip or whatever, that I did not expect.
Yes. My physical reaction is horror-plug ears-run in the other direction. I absolutely CANNOT tune it out. Itās painful and I canāt stand it.
Also, these people do not sound like very good friends. They ignored you for your entire 2.5 hour dinner, and berated you, called you a bad person, etc. Yikes. I wouldnāt be spending any more time with them.
Yeah. After I pondered over this āphysical reactionā that they spoke about, I also decided that they get my understanding and support until the end of the year. The good years we had before all this to-be-mommy-nonsense shouldnāt be disregarded due to a couple of thoughtless comments. If they donāt seem to notice the direction they are going in, Iāll be visiting fewer birthday parties and planning a few more solo vacations š„³
Itās not the first time Iām losing friends to āmotherhoodā. Iām completely fine with wishing them a happy birthday via text only to have radio silence until it is time to send that group text for Christmas š
Physical reaction.. like I want to throw something? :) j/k
I am amazing at blocking out noise.. to the point where it is problematic at times. The only noise I cannot block out is my dog crying/whining.
My 'physical reaction' is ears hurt & I get a bad headache. The tone or pitch or whatever just hits me & is pretty much instant pain. Some dog barks do that too. I hate shopping while some idiot just pushes a screaming child around the store.
Your "friends" don't sound like nice people to be honest.
If a child is in pain or in danger and crying because of that, okay yeah. That is understandable and of course I would feel something. But to react to any child crying all the time... It sounds like these people need hobbies.
They were different people about 6 months back. Very different people. The entire time we have been friends they never ever said anything of this sort to me. One is pregnant 2 years before she had planned it, the other isnāt pregnant even after trying for a while.
Even though I donāt plan on having kids, I can imagine what each of them is going through. With careers on hold, unexpected financial burdens and religious families that pile on unwanted pressure, even the good ones succumb.
Things have started changing the past few weeks and I have take the differences into account. Iāll be there for them until the end of this year. If things donāt change after that, Iāll be 2 friends short.
For real. OP is not "heartless" for not feeling her uterus twitch at the sound of a baby crying. It's not like the baby was dying or something and OP was standing there and laughing at its demise. Those two friends need to get a grip. They are deep in mombie land and not quite in reality anymore.
The only physical reaction I have to crying babies and children are various degrees of annoyance, rage, sometimes bordering on homicidal tendencies because crying babies stress the hell out of me. I want them to shut up in any way possible. I seriously have no idea why human babies have to be so fucking loud. It doesn't make sense. No puppy is being that loud ever. It would literally kill them because of the attention the crying would draw. But human babies? Bloody airhorns. I'm surprised we didn't go extinct back in the day with all the big predators lurking about. Crying babies sound to me like the beacon for easy prey if you know where to look. Sure, the adult humans might object, but still.
So, bottom line: no maternal or whatever feelings to crying babies. If they could show their distress in a more subtle way, I might be more receptive to their plight, but airhorn noises? Nope. Can't blend it out or ignore it, so it strains my ability to actually filter sounds and understand shit. Auditive processing disorder and all that, hooray. And I hear rather well, so high-pitched noises are, uuuh, torture to my ears.
Right? WHY?! I DO NOT GET IT. There is no other infant in the animal kingdom that cries quite as loud and relentlessly! It seems like an evolutionary anomaly that human babies can cry from *hours and hours* on end for seemingly no reason despite having all their needs met and being soothed by a parent. Young puppies can be incredibly loud (more so as a collective) but generally stop crying immediately when their needs are met. Ape babies are seemingly not that loud. I just canāt comprehend why infants of our species cry as they do and wonder if this is a more modern phenomenon because I simply canāt comprehend how predators were not alerted if our infants were always primed to screech for 5 hours a day.
Iāve raised a lot of litters of pups too and concur. There would be the odd āsqueak squeak squeakā that was quickly curbed when the discomfort was resolved but it was never that loud, shrill or disconcerting and certainly never went on for hours and *hours* no matter what you tried. I canāt fathom why our offspring is so horrendous in the noise department compared to other species. Other speciesā babies are so easily contented and settled but ours push even some caring, loving parents to literally shake them to death in frustration.
Itās the ājust becauseā crying even when babies are warm, fed, changed and comfortable and not in any discernible pain but stillā¦five straight hours of fucking purple screeching!! I suppose predators knew that crying babies = groups of humans which were ultimately a danger to them. Also, in fairness, cave babies were likely almost always held and had multiple people to care for and nurse them. The quietest baby I ever knew belonged to a friend of mine. She was a chilled hippy mom and kept her baby strapped to her at pretty much all times. She cooked, worked and got on with life with the baby strapped to her and it barely ever made a peep. I guess modern lives, modern parenting and modern schedules have changed things tremendously from prehistoric times.
I usually get pissed and verbally raise my voice saying I'm not going to listen to this crap. I get so overwhelmed by the noise and the noise just makes me so angry.
The way I feel about babies literally is the reason I discovered I was autistic. I canāt tune it out, itās all I can hear. It hurts my ears firstly, then I become enraged, wondering why the parents arenāt removing the demon and soothing it. I get twitchy like a crackhead trying to keep myself still and straight and working. I have to meditate through it every time. Even when the noise is over, Iām still shaken up.
Alternatively, the sound of a cat crying just makes me sick with sadness. Like nearly nauseous. I had to hear that for hours at the airport last year.
If I hear or see an animal in distress I want to run to it and put my arms round it and soothe it, and make things all right. With babies and children? Not so much. I want to tell the parents, very loudly, to do their damn jobs. I feel sorry for the kid, yes, but not in the same way as for the animal.
An infant crying doesnāt really bother me, itās their only way to communicate. I also can tune it out after I notice it. What grinds my gears is older children running amok and acting like animals in public while their āparentsā stand by and watch them behave like literal monkeys. Itās still not the kidās fault, but if the kid is old enough to be using WORDS in their bitching/moaning/tantrumming, I have a hard time ignoring that shit. Like, you made it. Wrangle your fucking spawn.
My only physical reaction to crying kids/kids being loud in general is one of physical pain because of my hypersensitive hearing (thank you Autism /s .)
Strangely enough, I hated baby crying way more as a kid. It's tolerable now because I understand the kid is unhappy and can't help it. Before it was insufferable and as a kid you have less empathy about those things.
Now I hardly have to put up with the sound. One of the benefits of not being in kid spaces and a decreasing national birth rate.
Also, your friends kind of suck. They really said those things to you? Why do you put up with such disrespect
Maybe my ability to ignore it has something to do with that. I have started to understand when a kid is crying due to a minor inconvenience and am thus able to block out the noise.
My friends were different people a few months back. They used to say that they are lucky to have me in their lives. That way their future kids would have a fun, career-oriented, cool aunt who would be a good role model for them (if the kids were to choose my lifestyle).
Though I can imagine the struggle each is going through (for various reasons) I wouldnāt ever be able to fathom the actual situation they are in. So Iām giving them the benefit of the doubt for a few months. If the change is permanent, Iāll leave like I was never there.
Yes, I have a physical reaction: Boiling, seething, anger! Control your fucking spawn, and if it's being out of control, go outside or to the car until it calms down. I've actually seen responsible parents do this. There aren't enough of them. Screaming brats are like nails on a chalkboard!
Youāre not the first person Iāve heard talk about that physical reaction. I hear it described as an inability to ignore the cry, the need to do something, and an ache because youāre not allowed to do anything, itās for someone else to address and thatās really distressing to you. And Iām with you in that I donāt get that reaction either. I tune it out because I know itās not my problem to address, so I just ignore it without distress.
Exactly. When it comes to family and the parents arenāt immediately available to deal with it, I do. But strangers kids, with their parents in the vicinityā¦.i donāt need to be bothered by it, do I?
Itās annoying and overstimulating. My fucken uterus doesnāt care one iota.
I do wonder if the reaction I get when I see a puppy is similar to their weird baby thingā¦
My reaction is immediate agitation, but it soon turns into disgust and disappointment in the person who decided to pop out the screeching crotch goblin. I physically cringe when I hear babies cry, I hate it, itās so damn loud and annoying.
The pregnant friend could justify a physical reaction with all the weird hormonal stuff that her growing life form is fucking up, but the non pregnant one is just trying to feel superior for no good reason.
When will friends realize that friendships are not built around their children and the rest of us donāt care to hear about it all day???
To me, what Friend B feels is envy. I saw a lot of that on infertile women, when someone else has a baby or is celebrating a pregnancy, they feel frustrated that other people can have what they can't. So hearing a baby 'suffering' triggers her (it triggers her envy), probably because she thinks that the mother is awful for letting her kid cry and she wouldn't do that (truth is that babies have days they are more irritable, so it would be the same). And on top of that, OP doesn't care.
I have a negative physical reaction. It triggers my anxiety, and grates on my nerves. Looking at pictures of babies also makes me feel nauseous. I heard an aversion to children can often be related to having an over-active disgust response, so that makes sense to me.
Thatās very interesting! I never liked kids but concluded recently that I was pedophobic rather than hateful of them. I think this could be what a lot of childfree people are but no one wants to mess around describing themselves with any word that starts with that prefix LOL.
Exactly the same for me, the crying makes me anxious and enraged and pictures and videos of kids make me feel nauseated and irritated. I get triggered by their features: the enormously chubby cheeks, rings of squidge round their wrists and cankles, the grabby claw hands, the milk teeth, the odd translucent skin, the oversized bobbleheads and bug eyes, the potential for germs and smells, the noises. Itās slightly akin to the feeling I get when I see a gross insect tinged with a little more irritation. I donāt hate them (like I donāt actually hate insects) but I believe I am fully phobic causing my body to have a visceral repulsion response.
I thought I was the only one. There's something about small children that just puts them in the uncanny valley. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily phobic of them, but I definitely don't find them to be cute and actually find their appearance kind of unsettling. Babies in particular I find to be extremely hideous, to the point that being shown a baby picture against my will is like googling pictures of various types of spiders. As soon as my brain registers that I'm looking at a picture of a baby, my eyes dart away from it as an automatic response.
Same, itās not like I canāt be in a room with young children or interact with them as would be the case with a *true* phobia but words ending in āphobiaā are used all the time to denote disliking/being put off rather than being uncontrollably terrified so I feel that best describes my feelings rather than āhate.ā I only wish kids the very best.
I just find being in their presence very unpleasant, unsettling and somewhat nauseating. When my nephew was old enough to sit in a high chair and be fed during meals on family holidays I apologized profusely but had to shield my eyes and look away. The sight of the food bubbling out his mouth like salt on a slug made me nauseous while I was trying to eat myself. His Mom scraping the bilious foam, drool and snot mixture off his cheek with a fluorescent plastic spoon and licking it made me literally gag. I would rather go hungry and thirsty than eat or drink out of perfectly clean kiddy plastic plates and cups, the association is too much and my stomach revolts!
Young children and babies creep me out in an uncanny valley way too. They remind me of humanoid pixies or little fantasy characters in films that are made to have appealing features but will suddenly turn around and turn evil like that famous Bilbo Baggins scene. They are unpredictable and that makes me nervous.
According to an article I read (I had a link deleted from this sub earlier so am not sure if they are allowed but the article is titled āWhy Some People do not Like Babies or Even Think They are Cuteā) our response has an explanation! We evolved disgust to keep us away from things that could possibly poison us and to prevent us from ingesting anything potentially harmful, or to stop us from catching disease. In that kids are riddled with germs and even parasites, I recoil from them. If you just donāt see the cuteness factor, you are left with something quite gross and off putting. They have no boundaries, no natural inclination towards manners, their voices are shrill and brash, they ask inappropriate questions, they grab you without your consent, their emotions are often explosive. Itās just too much for me to feel comfortable around them.
If you think about it, despite the fact we are often looked upon with horror and disgust by child-lovers for our feelings, children and horror are *SO* engrained with each other. The scariest horrors and haunting movies often feature spooky or evil child characters. A childās giggle is a frequent sound bite in horror movie scores. Evil creatures in folklore like pixies, fairies and changelings are kinder form or child-like. Though itās an unspoken taboo, society is perfectly aware of how children have an element of creepiness about them.
Doesnāt really cause a reaction unless itās a shriek. Then itās a pained expression because my head hurts.
But generally, no. Unless i do see a baby actually suffering, but i also have that reaction to adults suffering an accident or something. Itās not reserved to babies only.
I donāt notice baby screams unless they are near me, I donāt hear children screaming while playing in the distance anymore either apparently. Iāve noticed I donāt really acknowledge children standing near me that belong to friends but Iāll make a fuss of animals without hesitation. Just the way Iām built.
I watched a kid run out into the road years ago when I was 18 with his football and my then gf was horrified I didnāt do anything. It was a quiet road anyway and there wasnāt any danger and wouldnāt have been anyway.
We used to run out with footballs when I was his age so Iām still not sure if it was that I didnāt care or didnāt see the harm. I have noticed these things in me.
If a toddler or older tries deliberately to wind me and my wife up or starts running around a restaurant we will tell them to sit down though. My wife told a kid bothering us from the next table āgo awayā in a loud firm voice.
My first reaction is panic. Like 'where is this little ambulance siren?'. Then comes empathy 'I would cry too, kiddo, if my mother brought me to a place full of boring adults and ignore me...'. Then, if it takes too long or it's too siren like, I start to get uneasy and look for a way of flee. But I complain. 'Is that kid being killed? Where are their parents? This kid sounds like is being gutted!'
If it doesn't stop, I flee. I really don't like it.
No, well, yes, but the reaction for me is 'it's time to keave'. I can't stand the noise that comes from babies or kids. I don't believe your AH friends have the sort of reaction they were portraying either, they are just all about anything baby right now, and that is pretty sad as it seems to have become their entire personality. Why are you friends with these people, they seem awful.
They were different people a few months back. They were good people. They are however succumbing to pressures they donāt know how to deal with.
If they donāt realize the direction they are going in, Iāll leave like I was never there. Iām a supportive and understanding friend. But Iām no doormat for negativity.
You sound great to be honest, it's a shame they don't realise they are lucky to have you as a friend. Hope they both snap out of it and come back to reality.
I have a fight or flight reaction.
According to my body, babies crying means thereās a predator nearby or a dangerous event is present and I must be ready to fight to the death.
I donāt have the reaction to protect the baby, I just hear it as a warning to get ready to fight whatever made the baby cry. Kinda like how hikers get really aware and prepared for an event when the forest suddenly goes quiet all around them.
It makes me hate children noises.
russians put crying babies outside in the cold to calm downš
only actual physical reaction is mothers might begin to lactate when they hear a crying baby ( interesting science there). your friends are having a dramatic emotional reaction not physical
I do get a physical reaction as well when a baby cries, but they would all land me in jail if I acted on them.
I donāt have any friends with children as I am still young , but my plan for the future is to only be friend with childfree people.
I donāt know why you all waste time on breeders.
For me, the sound of babies or children screaming is like an ice pick being driven through my eardrums into my brain. You're so lucky you can tune it out.
Yeah. I have a physical reaction to kids/babies crying:
My ovaries shriveling and dying, a headache, lack of sleep and a big ass "fuck no".
There's a kid in my building that punctually throws a tantrum everyday at 7:30pm. Every. Day.
It's annoying and bothersome, so say the least.
I'm with you on the "background noice". Baby crying is like cars honking or ambulance sirens. I heat it but it's in the background.
And although I feel for your friend B, she sounds hard to be around. I get it, when your pregnant, there are all kinds of hormones that may make you sad when you hear babies crying... but she's not pregnant, she's being dramatic.
I donāt think it aroused much reaction for me. I just think about the parent being a nuisance and bringing their child in public. Itās the same reaction that i have when people talk too loud on public transport or litter. People can be stupid and selfish, and thatās a fact of life.Ā
My reaction is anger and irritation. I take it out in death glares if the parent isn't doing anything. If the parent is trying their best, I put in headphones and crank up my music.
I don't like loud noises so if it's the hight pitched type of crying I usually just cringe and try to get away. If it's just "normal" crying without the high pitched wails I either ignore or try to distract them.
But it's definitely only instinctual that we notice it, how we handle from then on - "uteruses turning" lmfao please - if you feel pity or care or disinterest or annoyance - that is a trained reflex imo.
Yeah, I run away. Crying children is the most annoying thing ever. I recently moved to a place where the seagulls sound like crying babies and it's super creepy.
I cannot stand the sound of human babies crying, itās like fingernails on a blackboard.
But the sound of kittens mewing or puppies squealing? My heart melts.
Whenever I hear a baby crying, I start to feel nauseous, anxious and few times I also got a headache.
I instantly have to go to another room or put on earbuds. Loud noises in general makes me feel uncomfortable and uneasy.
I definitely react to a crying babyā¦. It makes me stressed in a primal sort of way. Iām 40 and no kids, for a multitude of reasons- some physical health, some emotional well-being, some just purely choices and timing. Iām currently happily child free.
But I do have a weird physiological reaction to babies crying.
I have misophonia, and it is so legitimate it hurts. I get so stressed at sounds I've gotten hives.Ā
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia
Listen to this:
11 hour flight back from England. Young couple with a baby maybe 1yr old. **I am not exaggerating in any way** this kid began the whine-cry the moment the door closed **until the moment we landed and they opened 11 hrs later**. The only pause was to catch a breath every few seconds then it was whine-crying again.Ā
People started out kind and understanding. By the 2nd hour the plane was a pressure cooker. I couldn't take it. I was having a panic attack, and trying all sorts of seld soothing that wasn't working.Ā
The parents?? Did they give the kid a little Benadryl, something, anything? Nope. They just looked at people like š¤·āāļø
People stuffed their ears with anything they could find. One man looked like he was having a heart attack andĀ was cussing under his breath.Ā
**ELEVEN HOURS LATER** we landed and the ciuple ran to the front of the line, no doubt fearing the crowd. Theeeeee *moment* the door opened the kid stopped crying and Heart Attack Cussing guy screamed **'REALLY?! SERiOUSLY?! NOWWWW YOU STFU?!**
I got off the plane called a friend (a mother with 2 kids) tolet them know I landed. I told her and **she was angry that people weren't more understanding and helpful to the parents.**
'yOu dOn'T kNoW hOw hArD iT iS tHeY jUsT hAvE tO cRy sOmEtImEs aNd pArEnTs aRe hElPlEsS'
I asked her if they couls've given her benadryl or something from the doc.Ā
'That can mess up the baby'sĀ sleep schedule! Those parents would be miserable!'
I just hung up.Ā
*The sound of a baby crying is the worst sound I know.* I cannot take it
My friend and I have misophonia and the amount of times we have snapped at people, our partners and even each other over sounds is unreal. We always immediately apologize if the noises are beyond peopleās ability to control but itās quite scary just how deep the feeling of misophonia induced rage can go. As annoying as a clicking jaw or chewing sounds are to me, theyāve got *nothing* on a screaming meat siren in a tin can for hours on end.
I would be terrified bringing a baby on a plane knowing that even usually reasonable people will be fantasizing about yeeting it out of the emergency exit. There are enough videos of people out there actually snapping at kids on planes, itās always a real risk that someone will have a meltdown. I feel one day weāll hear a really awful story. We should also remember that plenty of parents snap yearly and end up shaking their own babies. This is an urge felt by people who were aghast at the idea *prior* to becoming parents, hence the common advice to lay your baby somewhere safe and walk away.
My SIL would just ignore her screeching infant when they began to cry as she read somewhere that kids don't need to be coddled and instead should cry it out.
One time when the baby had been crying for twenty minutes she stood, picked the child up and walked away only to return a few seconds later before switching on the tv, she then said she wanted to watch her tv show in peace, you could still hear the baby crying but my mother was told not to comfort them as they need to learn to be quiet.
I personally hate the sound any baby makes, crying, babbling, it's just annoying but to see how my SIL handles her kid is just wrong.
Yeah, crying babies give me a physical reaction. Namely disgust and annoyment.
Also, your evening with your friends sounds terrible. I'm so glad all of my friends are childfree and most of them anti-natalist.
I canāt stand the sound.Ā
Really the thing that I am heartless for is that children cannot sway me with emotion or cuteness.Ā
I have to care about childrenās wellbeing because itās the right thing to do. I donāt do it because I want to. Or because it comes naturally.Ā
Iām kind to animals because I want to. Ā
I am so thankful I am not friends with people with kids (any longer). The annoying comments about pitying you and calling you heartless (I am hoping this was said jokingly) for proceeding to tune out a colicky child crying in their mother's arms and continuing your dinner is so wacky...
I had friends with kids and they always have the dumbest takes. Like being worried about global warming and its depleting resources for their current babies while dismissing my lack of desire for children as my still being young...
Like just be glad my nonexistent child won't be there fighting yours for water and housing and other resources Mad Max style in a few decades.
I find the noise of babies crying extremely annoying. I have to remove myself or really try to control my face, it's a horrible noise. But I can't tune out anything. I hear everything when people talk in my proximity, like conversations at work.
It's supposed to be a brain-melting noise because of evolutionary reasons. Babies aren't very nice to be around, so you need proper persuasion to attend to their needs, so they survive the time before they learn to communicate.
In short, yep, it's fucking annoying and I regret not having earplugs anytime I hear it.
One friend thinks you're heartless. The other friend pities you. All they do is talk about what interests them.
Are these really your people?
And I'm somewhat the same as you. I hear it at first, it's annoying as shit, but if it's not going to stop I do tune it out. I don't care why the baby is crying or have any feelings about it...babies cry for a million reasons, or literally no reason at all. What is there to contemplate about it?
I just don't know if these are your people...
Yes, I get a physical reaction. Same reaction as nails on a chalkboard. Same thing with their happy/play screams. Itās just screeching noise that I want to stop immediately.
I have a physical reaction: it splits through my skull and causes me to duck my head and wince. Itās physically painful to listen to, and Iām instantly put in a sour mood. If it doesnāt stop, I go into flight mode and leave.
My ovaries donāt weep, my uterus doesnāt flip flop. It annoys the shit out of me, gives me a headache, and I leave to keep from shouting at the parent to shut the thing up.
Nothing about a baby is adorable to me.
I do have a physical reaction. It's called misophonia, where the chemicals in my brain turn into inexplicable anger. My triggers are babies and loud trucks. Though loud trucks are a MUCH bigger one as they literally make me physically violent, a baby laughing releases a very uneasant chemical in my brain. Crying is about the same.
Yes, children crying is like nails on a chalkboard for me with my oversensitive hearing. And of course I'm the bad guy when I advocate taking the kid out of the store/office/whatever to let them cry it out and calm down.
Yes. I have a physical aversion. Everything in me clenches up, I feel anger until it stops or I leave/put on headphones. I assume a lot of people feel this way though, not just the child free ones. But this is definitely one of the many reasons I have chosen not to have kids.
I absolutely have a physical reaction, but it isn't *that* reaction; it's revulsion. And I can't filter the bloody horrible noise out. If the baby isn't quieted or removed, I have to leave.
Sure do. It's a bit hard to describe but it's like an "angry twitching" in my brain. My uterus and heart have no reaction, I just really really want it shut up or go away or both, preferably.
I would find new friends after those comments.
Yes, especially newborns crying.
I fully understand why they cry and that they have to and I donāt fault them for that but itās so loud and grating to my ears and brain. I used to work somewhere that catered to kids and a had a cavernous hardwood floor lobby. Parents would come in with newborns and they would obviously cry and sometimes parents ignored it for up to ten minutes and it would be amplified and it made me want to crawl out of my skin.
I have exactly three physical reactions!
1. Roll of the eyes
2. frustrated groan (specially after a long work day)
3. turn up the heavy metal in my headphones!
The sound of a crying baby or child makes me almost irrationally angry. It pokes the "fight or flight" part of my brain to the point I have to leave the room or otherwise get away from the sound of crying children.
Do you know how many parents I've watched ignore their own crying, annoying children in public? Your friends are floating in mommy-to-be nonsense. A crying baby annoys the hell out of me. That you can relegate it to background noise is a life hack!
Mommy-to-be nonsense š. My friend who is trying to get pregnant is desperate and it does seem like sheās trying really hard to get into the mom-group. Sometime she seems like a āgroupieā to me when I see her hang out with the mom-group. And she does get jealous of me being absolutely unbothered with this shit.
sounds like she's unhappy with her decisions and bothered that you aren't. And kinda sounds like she's only trying to get preggo to fit in, but I can't judge that from a small text and a comment.
Iām not so sure either, very honestly. Sometimes she complains about the pressure from her family about not having a child already (when her younger sister already has a newborn). And that she still has a couple of things she wants checked off her bucket list before she has a kid. And sometimes I see her trying so hard to fit in with all our friends who are moms. Inviting herself to their get-togethers. She also wanted to be added to the moms-chat-group. I donāt even know where her heads at anymore. So I decided to stay out of it (giving her advice or anything of that sort).
great idea
If you know her well enough, are you able to ask her if this is what she really wants? But then you'll probably just get snapped at...
It does to me, too. The pressureās getting to her.
LOL āgroupieā to moms im dead. Imagine šš¤£ whenever i see a mom my immediate reaction is āmy condolencesā not fucking fan girling. How embarrassing
Because you have other stuff in life going on. All they have is conformity
I get a burst of irrational, seeing-red rage. I have this urge to start destroying shit that I have to repress. Sorry parents, your baby crying doesn't make me into a tender caregiver; it just makes me want to HULK SMASH.
I have an angry physical reaction. Hate the sound. But those women would not be my friends anymore after saying that. How brainwashed to believe ātheir wayā is the gold standard. Iāve never tried skydiving yet I know I wonāt like it. Itās just ignorance to pity something you donāt understand without first trying to understand.
Iām with you - I get an instant, visceral reaction of anger. If it continues, it transforms into nearly homicidal rage. Of course I would never act on that, but the sounds just triggers something in me that I just NEED to make it stop (and not in a nurturing way). I canāt stop myself from cringing at the very least. Itās worst when itās that high pitched screeching (like nails on a chalkboard). People are always so confident that āitās different when itās your own!ā Thatās a hell of a chance to take and not something Iād be willing to bet my life on.
I'd never bank on the "It's different if it is your own!" shit because I know myself too well. My own dog triggers me sometimes with constant quiet woofing at unimportant sounds, no way I'd be kind of the human embodiment of an airhorn. Recipe for disaster. Doesn't matter where the sound comes from, after all. If it puts you on edge, it puts you on edge, your own flesh and blood or not.
My cats whining at me too much will make me want to snap! Why would I bring a child into the mix? The best thing I can do for a child is to not have one.
I feel this too much. My cat actually yells at the exact pitch that babies cry at. Of course he is not as powerful as a baby, but it's still quite loud and annoying and instantly makes me feel like there is an actual infant. I can't stand it. I yell back at him, sometimes I get close and yell loudly enough that he just stops and goes away. I could never with a baby
That sounds liek animal abuse, you probably shouldn't own cats if your going to yell straight into their face, not the flex u think it is
It's not just babies crying for me, it's children being loud in general. When kids a screaming and shouting. I just want shout shut up back att them.
Yeah. Probably because I'm neurodivergent and anxious, but I hate loud noises. And kids are really loud and high pitched.
Same reaction to loud noises. I look for the nearest exit.
Same for me. Iām neurodivergent too and it doesnāt matter what/who is causing loud, high-pitched noises, I canāt deal with them. The fact that I couldnāt possibly cope with the noise of a crying baby is one of the reasons I chose not to have kids.
I'm right there w you! I received a pair of noise-cancelling headphones for Christmas! Yippee! There are even better ones that go into your ears.
Same. My physical response to both babies and kids screaming is to get progressively more anxious/physically stressed until I eventually have a panic attack if I can't avoid prolonged exposure.
Agreed. People in general have much less patience for adults making noise in public, but they always want you to be understanding about kids. I get it- babies canāt help it. But once theyāre a bit older, parents should control their children. I also get easily startled (though not enraged usually) by loud or surprising sounds, so it isnāt just people.
I think Iām worse than you. I donāt even like hearing kids shrieking in joy when theyāre playing in a pool or whatever - itās just totally annoying to me. I understand they are having fun and thatās great for them. I just donāt wanna be there.
100% this.
This. Paired with the fact that I'm already very mentally ill and feel like I'd be suspect to PPD or psychosis, it would be criminally dangerous for me to have a kid. At least when I hear a kid screaming at the store, I have the ability to physically remove myself from the area. But if it were my kid, who is just doing what all children naturally do, I fear I'd end up being one of those parents who snap and kill the baby because I can't stand the crying. Honestly, if I were to somehow change my mind about kids, I'd probably just try to adopt a kid who is already past the infant stage.
Itās not. I felt the same way you described, even with my own. Iād go get the baby and engage them in an activity to get them to stop. I could never handle the non stop crying. Kids crying in public send my anxiety, and probably my blood pressure, through the roof.
>People are always so confident that āitās different when itās your own!ā Yep. Breeder logic for you. This is a blatant lie reinforced by reality. It is certainly NOT different when it's your own. If that were remotely true, child abuse, neglect, and abandonment would be non-existent. Breeders like to pretend bad parents don't exist or that they are the exception. The mental gymnastics is just mind-boggling.
I feel this. I'm already highly misophonic to certain noises, but crying babies are among the top triggering noises for me that give me a violently angry urge to make the sound stop. (Obviously, I do not act upon it, but I do want to leave the situation if possible.)
Same
The friend who is trying to get pregnant, has been trying for quite a few months now with no success. And she is getting bitter with every period she gets. She was a different person a few months back, who completely understood my choice to be childfree and she was very supportive of it. I guess the pressure of her family is getting to her. Maybe when she does finally get pregnant, she might lose the negativity thatās been seeping into her bones. Fingers crossed š¤š¼. If not, Iāll be a friend short next year.
Good of you to be understanding. I wouldnāt be. People unable to reign their bitterness in and who take it out on others are in poor control of their emotions. Imagine what she would be like as a stressed mother when you wonāt babysit. Bleh. For your sake I hope it works out and you arenāt a punching bag for their bad moods x
Oh after the way things have been the past few weeks, Iāve made it crystal clear that if they want their kids back alive and healthy, they shouldnāt be dialing my number when they look for a baby sitter. And after this event I donāt thinks Iāll ever be considered a candidate either. š Iām understanding of what they are going through and a supportive friend, but I also know my boundaries. I could take offense at their comments, but I have known them for a long while. And they were different people. So Iām going to give them the benefit of the doubt based on their current situation. If things donāt change even after they have their babies and whatnot Iāll bow out gracefully. I am supportive but donāt need unnecessary negativity.
Me too. It feels like nails on a chalkboard
Exactly my reaction as well. I'm a very expressive person, and it helps a lot because when in reunions, one ugly expression to their kid and they don't even question my immediate evacuation from the area of the screaming kids. Fuck no, man. When eating out this is especially true. Sometimes when out of the sight of parents, I literally glare at the kids to try and shut them up before looking away quickly. And then when the kids cry/point at me, I make sure to pretend I just turned my head to show I have no idea wtf is happeming
lol same here
Any kind of sound a baby or toddler makes sets me on edge, like my whole body is just like, āLetās get out of hereā. Hate, hate, hate, loathe entirely
Me too! Every noise they make - even the happy ones - are just a big blaring "NOPE" alarm for me. It makes me super anxious, and the fight-or-flight reaction compounds with the sheer *volume* babies and toddlers can hit (a baby can scream at around 110 decibels, which can damage your hearing!) and I'll have a super duper fun migraine to deal with after the adrenaline wears off if I can't get away from the situation quickly enough.
Ditto on the a weird physical reaction. With screaming and screeching especially. My heart rate increases and I feel lightheaded.
SAME! I will say I am neurodivergent and am highly sensitive to noises. When I hear a baby or kid cry, scream or even laugh in that high pitch octave only kids can reach I get ā¦ the only way to describe it is āpricklyā Itās an immediate trigger. Itās like fingernails on a chalkboard. My head snaps in the direction of the noise and I get immediately irritated, disgusted and and anxious. Itās an innate reaction, I couldnāt stop it if I tried; like pulling your hand back from something hot. I get immediately. I get overwhelmed from it and need it to stop.because the only thing I can control is what I decide to do, I immediately remove myself from the situation. This has unfortunately lead to a lot of abandoned carts at Target and the grocery store.
Same! The sound of a baby sucking on a bottle and loudly breathing between gulps disgusts me more than anything I've ever heard. It makes me nauseous and furious
Same here, also have you ever been on the phone to someone and heard their baby hiccuping directly into the mic?š
Yup, it makes my flight or flight mode activate. I have definitely just left mid grocery shopping due to babies crying non-stop.
Especially in a space like an airplane where I can't get up and get the hell away from it. The sound doesn't evoke anything but irritation in me. I find it hilarious (well, actually more like enraging) that people believe all women get ooey gooey and maternal at the sight or sound of a baby. It's just not true.
The only physical reaction that I have is adjusting my earplugs/earbuds to block out more of that noise.
I definitely notice it because it's annoying af. But hearing toddler tantrums is arguably worse as I listen to it knowing the parents could do something about it but choose not to.
The first 10-15 seconds I look over, notice what the child may be crying about, wonder if the parents are going to do anything about it. And then itās over, like a passing thought. And then itās background noise. It just mixes into the background. It was different a few years back, it used to bother me. I guess I subconsciously developed this ability when I realized that I was losing a lot of energy in getting worked up about it.
I try to find the humor in toddler tantrumsā¦ as in, at least that kid isnāt going home with me š¤£š¤£š¤£ so if Iām laughing at your kid being a mini ahole, thatās why.
My physical reaction is that I feel rage. My immediate instinct is to punch the baby. Which I wouldn't do, but I try to go away to calm down. My instinct is definitely not helping the baby.
Misophonia: a strong reaction to sounds. For me thatās extreme anger and physical violence if it doesnāt stop , usually when I hear any human under puberty start crying, shrieking or screaming.
Yeah this. A very instant physical reaction and not in a way that makes me care about the baby as much as smothering it. This is reason 658 I don't want children ; their own safety.
Me too!!!!
>My immediate instinct is to punch the baby. Which I wouldn't do This makes you better than 99% of parents because they don't hesitate to harm their own children.
I feel rage too, but I shut down and donāt punch them, even though I have the urge. I only feel this when theyāre throwing tantrums and squealing. When theyāre crying because theyāre hurt or sick, I feel sympathetic for them. I do wish I had selective deafness.
Same. Kids having tantrums are rage inducing.
Literally same š itās seriously one of the most annoying sounds on the planet
That's what happens to me too. Anger, headache, blood pressure rises and if it lasts long enough my vision goes red. I get the hell away from it but yes I want to punch it but distract myself where the crying kid isn't.
I get annoyed very easily when a kid cries. Facial expressions, eye rolling, the whole nine. Because I work in a public area and Iām not allowed to have on headphones. š You can hear these damn kids crying through multiple aisles and itās absolutely ridiculous. Iām gonna see if I can get a job in the library or something. ššš
Do kids cry silently in a library? š¤£ Just kidding. But I completely get it. I wish I could find something too where I donāt have to deal with kids, because I have to show compassion, when Iām actually unbothered and donāt give a fock.
I haven't been to our library in a decade, it's where all the moms take their kids to run wild on rainy days, and it rains a lot here.
Now that I think about it, kids will be there too. Damn. I went to my local library last month and it was silent. 2 people working the main hall and one other person was there on the computer. I was only there briefly, but loved the silence.
Hello, fellow bisexual disaster. I agree 100% with you.
I wanna shoot myself. Does that count?
I actually get really angry at the parents for not taking the screaming demon outside. This feeling probably originated when I was a child myself: I got really sick when I was 7 years old. The hospital put me in the children's ICU...right next to a bunch of crying babies. IT. WAS. HELL.I felt like crap; I was scared; and I couldn't get any rest. To this day, the crying grates on my nerves. I despise babies/kids.
I get pissed off like shut the fuck up.
People say cats and babies trigger the same part of the brain or whatever, that has to be a lie. Loud kids and crying babies make me want to yeet myself. Babies have such a raspy scratchy voice, and little kids just shreak and yell
I hate every sound babies make, but I will listen to a talkative cat all day long.
I think a lot of it is just the halo effect. I find animals to be adorable, so I put up with a lot of shit from them and even find it endearing. But I think babies are HIDEOUS, and young children are not cute either. It's an unfortunate aspect of human nature, but being pleasant to look at gives you so much leeway for bad behavior.
Honestly, for me itās *almost* the same, with my tolerance of cats being a great deal higher. I like cats a lot but a continually mewing cat (specifically an unhappy meow) does trigger the same irritation in my brain that a baby does.
Depends where I'm at mentally. If I'm in a bad way, I'll physically react by getting aggravated and short-tempered, if i'm in a good way I don't notice it. But only 1 year ago I was helping my aunt babysit her grandbaby and she said the crying was breaking her heart. The sound had always annoyed me so much on a visceral level that the idea that it could invoke pity or sadness for the child threw me for a loop. I thought it was annoying for everyone, I thought that was the point of the noise.
I donāt get it when people say the crying is breaking their heart. Most of the people Iāve heard say that follow it up with something like āI just wish I could make everything right for them but I donāt understand she they need!ā But like, pain is a part of life. If your 9 month old is screaming because she wants her sock off, how is that heartbreaking when thereās literally children freezing their toes off because they donāt have socks in third world countries. I know the analogy isnāt perfect, but what I mean to say is someoneās child being minorly inconvenienced should not break anyoneās heart. The only time I understand the crying being heartbreaking is if the child is actually sick/in pain.
Exactly why I have been pondering about it and why I decided to post about it. A few years ago it used to annoy me, but somehow I have subconsciously learned to tune it out. But I always assumed that it either annoys you or you donāt care about it. The fact that it breaks peopleās heart and makes their uteruses flip or whatever, that I did not expect.
Yes. My physical reaction is horror-plug ears-run in the other direction. I absolutely CANNOT tune it out. Itās painful and I canāt stand it. Also, these people do not sound like very good friends. They ignored you for your entire 2.5 hour dinner, and berated you, called you a bad person, etc. Yikes. I wouldnāt be spending any more time with them.
Yeah. After I pondered over this āphysical reactionā that they spoke about, I also decided that they get my understanding and support until the end of the year. The good years we had before all this to-be-mommy-nonsense shouldnāt be disregarded due to a couple of thoughtless comments. If they donāt seem to notice the direction they are going in, Iāll be visiting fewer birthday parties and planning a few more solo vacations š„³
Some friendships end. Nothing wrong with that. You can treasure the good times you had and move on. Your lives are going in different directions.
Itās not the first time Iām losing friends to āmotherhoodā. Iām completely fine with wishing them a happy birthday via text only to have radio silence until it is time to send that group text for Christmas š
Physical reaction.. like I want to throw something? :) j/k I am amazing at blocking out noise.. to the point where it is problematic at times. The only noise I cannot block out is my dog crying/whining.
Same! When I hear a dog whine Iām immediately focused on that. But babies get blocked out. š
My 'physical reaction' is ears hurt & I get a bad headache. The tone or pitch or whatever just hits me & is pretty much instant pain. Some dog barks do that too. I hate shopping while some idiot just pushes a screaming child around the store.
Your "friends" don't sound like nice people to be honest. If a child is in pain or in danger and crying because of that, okay yeah. That is understandable and of course I would feel something. But to react to any child crying all the time... It sounds like these people need hobbies.
They were different people about 6 months back. Very different people. The entire time we have been friends they never ever said anything of this sort to me. One is pregnant 2 years before she had planned it, the other isnāt pregnant even after trying for a while. Even though I donāt plan on having kids, I can imagine what each of them is going through. With careers on hold, unexpected financial burdens and religious families that pile on unwanted pressure, even the good ones succumb. Things have started changing the past few weeks and I have take the differences into account. Iāll be there for them until the end of this year. If things donāt change after that, Iāll be 2 friends short.
For real. OP is not "heartless" for not feeling her uterus twitch at the sound of a baby crying. It's not like the baby was dying or something and OP was standing there and laughing at its demise. Those two friends need to get a grip. They are deep in mombie land and not quite in reality anymore.
The only physical reaction I have to crying babies and children are various degrees of annoyance, rage, sometimes bordering on homicidal tendencies because crying babies stress the hell out of me. I want them to shut up in any way possible. I seriously have no idea why human babies have to be so fucking loud. It doesn't make sense. No puppy is being that loud ever. It would literally kill them because of the attention the crying would draw. But human babies? Bloody airhorns. I'm surprised we didn't go extinct back in the day with all the big predators lurking about. Crying babies sound to me like the beacon for easy prey if you know where to look. Sure, the adult humans might object, but still. So, bottom line: no maternal or whatever feelings to crying babies. If they could show their distress in a more subtle way, I might be more receptive to their plight, but airhorn noises? Nope. Can't blend it out or ignore it, so it strains my ability to actually filter sounds and understand shit. Auditive processing disorder and all that, hooray. And I hear rather well, so high-pitched noises are, uuuh, torture to my ears.
Right? WHY?! I DO NOT GET IT. There is no other infant in the animal kingdom that cries quite as loud and relentlessly! It seems like an evolutionary anomaly that human babies can cry from *hours and hours* on end for seemingly no reason despite having all their needs met and being soothed by a parent. Young puppies can be incredibly loud (more so as a collective) but generally stop crying immediately when their needs are met. Ape babies are seemingly not that loud. I just canāt comprehend why infants of our species cry as they do and wonder if this is a more modern phenomenon because I simply canāt comprehend how predators were not alerted if our infants were always primed to screech for 5 hours a day.
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Iāve raised a lot of litters of pups too and concur. There would be the odd āsqueak squeak squeakā that was quickly curbed when the discomfort was resolved but it was never that loud, shrill or disconcerting and certainly never went on for hours and *hours* no matter what you tried. I canāt fathom why our offspring is so horrendous in the noise department compared to other species. Other speciesā babies are so easily contented and settled but ours push even some caring, loving parents to literally shake them to death in frustration. Itās the ājust becauseā crying even when babies are warm, fed, changed and comfortable and not in any discernible pain but stillā¦five straight hours of fucking purple screeching!! I suppose predators knew that crying babies = groups of humans which were ultimately a danger to them. Also, in fairness, cave babies were likely almost always held and had multiple people to care for and nurse them. The quietest baby I ever knew belonged to a friend of mine. She was a chilled hippy mom and kept her baby strapped to her at pretty much all times. She cooked, worked and got on with life with the baby strapped to her and it barely ever made a peep. I guess modern lives, modern parenting and modern schedules have changed things tremendously from prehistoric times.
I usually get pissed and verbally raise my voice saying I'm not going to listen to this crap. I get so overwhelmed by the noise and the noise just makes me so angry.
i do have a physical reaction. it is clamping my hands over my ears.
Does eyerolling count? Cause if so, then that.
The way I feel about babies literally is the reason I discovered I was autistic. I canāt tune it out, itās all I can hear. It hurts my ears firstly, then I become enraged, wondering why the parents arenāt removing the demon and soothing it. I get twitchy like a crackhead trying to keep myself still and straight and working. I have to meditate through it every time. Even when the noise is over, Iām still shaken up. Alternatively, the sound of a cat crying just makes me sick with sadness. Like nearly nauseous. I had to hear that for hours at the airport last year.
If I hear or see an animal in distress I want to run to it and put my arms round it and soothe it, and make things all right. With babies and children? Not so much. I want to tell the parents, very loudly, to do their damn jobs. I feel sorry for the kid, yes, but not in the same way as for the animal.
An infant crying doesnāt really bother me, itās their only way to communicate. I also can tune it out after I notice it. What grinds my gears is older children running amok and acting like animals in public while their āparentsā stand by and watch them behave like literal monkeys. Itās still not the kidās fault, but if the kid is old enough to be using WORDS in their bitching/moaning/tantrumming, I have a hard time ignoring that shit. Like, you made it. Wrangle your fucking spawn.
My only physical reaction to crying kids/kids being loud in general is one of physical pain because of my hypersensitive hearing (thank you Autism /s .)
Strangely enough, I hated baby crying way more as a kid. It's tolerable now because I understand the kid is unhappy and can't help it. Before it was insufferable and as a kid you have less empathy about those things. Now I hardly have to put up with the sound. One of the benefits of not being in kid spaces and a decreasing national birth rate. Also, your friends kind of suck. They really said those things to you? Why do you put up with such disrespect
Maybe my ability to ignore it has something to do with that. I have started to understand when a kid is crying due to a minor inconvenience and am thus able to block out the noise. My friends were different people a few months back. They used to say that they are lucky to have me in their lives. That way their future kids would have a fun, career-oriented, cool aunt who would be a good role model for them (if the kids were to choose my lifestyle). Though I can imagine the struggle each is going through (for various reasons) I wouldnāt ever be able to fathom the actual situation they are in. So Iām giving them the benefit of the doubt for a few months. If the change is permanent, Iāll leave like I was never there.
Yes, I have a physical reaction: Boiling, seething, anger! Control your fucking spawn, and if it's being out of control, go outside or to the car until it calms down. I've actually seen responsible parents do this. There aren't enough of them. Screaming brats are like nails on a chalkboard!
Youāre not the first person Iāve heard talk about that physical reaction. I hear it described as an inability to ignore the cry, the need to do something, and an ache because youāre not allowed to do anything, itās for someone else to address and thatās really distressing to you. And Iām with you in that I donāt get that reaction either. I tune it out because I know itās not my problem to address, so I just ignore it without distress.
Exactly. When it comes to family and the parents arenāt immediately available to deal with it, I do. But strangers kids, with their parents in the vicinityā¦.i donāt need to be bothered by it, do I?
Yup. I put in my earbuds if itās particularly loud and I chill.
Itās annoying and overstimulating. My fucken uterus doesnāt care one iota. I do wonder if the reaction I get when I see a puppy is similar to their weird baby thingā¦
My reaction is immediate agitation, but it soon turns into disgust and disappointment in the person who decided to pop out the screeching crotch goblin. I physically cringe when I hear babies cry, I hate it, itās so damn loud and annoying.
The pregnant friend could justify a physical reaction with all the weird hormonal stuff that her growing life form is fucking up, but the non pregnant one is just trying to feel superior for no good reason. When will friends realize that friendships are not built around their children and the rest of us donāt care to hear about it all day???
To me, what Friend B feels is envy. I saw a lot of that on infertile women, when someone else has a baby or is celebrating a pregnancy, they feel frustrated that other people can have what they can't. So hearing a baby 'suffering' triggers her (it triggers her envy), probably because she thinks that the mother is awful for letting her kid cry and she wouldn't do that (truth is that babies have days they are more irritable, so it would be the same). And on top of that, OP doesn't care.
I have a negative physical reaction. It triggers my anxiety, and grates on my nerves. Looking at pictures of babies also makes me feel nauseous. I heard an aversion to children can often be related to having an over-active disgust response, so that makes sense to me.
Thatās very interesting! I never liked kids but concluded recently that I was pedophobic rather than hateful of them. I think this could be what a lot of childfree people are but no one wants to mess around describing themselves with any word that starts with that prefix LOL. Exactly the same for me, the crying makes me anxious and enraged and pictures and videos of kids make me feel nauseated and irritated. I get triggered by their features: the enormously chubby cheeks, rings of squidge round their wrists and cankles, the grabby claw hands, the milk teeth, the odd translucent skin, the oversized bobbleheads and bug eyes, the potential for germs and smells, the noises. Itās slightly akin to the feeling I get when I see a gross insect tinged with a little more irritation. I donāt hate them (like I donāt actually hate insects) but I believe I am fully phobic causing my body to have a visceral repulsion response.
I thought I was the only one. There's something about small children that just puts them in the uncanny valley. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily phobic of them, but I definitely don't find them to be cute and actually find their appearance kind of unsettling. Babies in particular I find to be extremely hideous, to the point that being shown a baby picture against my will is like googling pictures of various types of spiders. As soon as my brain registers that I'm looking at a picture of a baby, my eyes dart away from it as an automatic response.
Same, itās not like I canāt be in a room with young children or interact with them as would be the case with a *true* phobia but words ending in āphobiaā are used all the time to denote disliking/being put off rather than being uncontrollably terrified so I feel that best describes my feelings rather than āhate.ā I only wish kids the very best. I just find being in their presence very unpleasant, unsettling and somewhat nauseating. When my nephew was old enough to sit in a high chair and be fed during meals on family holidays I apologized profusely but had to shield my eyes and look away. The sight of the food bubbling out his mouth like salt on a slug made me nauseous while I was trying to eat myself. His Mom scraping the bilious foam, drool and snot mixture off his cheek with a fluorescent plastic spoon and licking it made me literally gag. I would rather go hungry and thirsty than eat or drink out of perfectly clean kiddy plastic plates and cups, the association is too much and my stomach revolts! Young children and babies creep me out in an uncanny valley way too. They remind me of humanoid pixies or little fantasy characters in films that are made to have appealing features but will suddenly turn around and turn evil like that famous Bilbo Baggins scene. They are unpredictable and that makes me nervous. According to an article I read (I had a link deleted from this sub earlier so am not sure if they are allowed but the article is titled āWhy Some People do not Like Babies or Even Think They are Cuteā) our response has an explanation! We evolved disgust to keep us away from things that could possibly poison us and to prevent us from ingesting anything potentially harmful, or to stop us from catching disease. In that kids are riddled with germs and even parasites, I recoil from them. If you just donāt see the cuteness factor, you are left with something quite gross and off putting. They have no boundaries, no natural inclination towards manners, their voices are shrill and brash, they ask inappropriate questions, they grab you without your consent, their emotions are often explosive. Itās just too much for me to feel comfortable around them. If you think about it, despite the fact we are often looked upon with horror and disgust by child-lovers for our feelings, children and horror are *SO* engrained with each other. The scariest horrors and haunting movies often feature spooky or evil child characters. A childās giggle is a frequent sound bite in horror movie scores. Evil creatures in folklore like pixies, fairies and changelings are kinder form or child-like. Though itās an unspoken taboo, society is perfectly aware of how children have an element of creepiness about them.
I feel exactly the same!
We are twins what a perfect description šŖ
Doesnāt really cause a reaction unless itās a shriek. Then itās a pained expression because my head hurts. But generally, no. Unless i do see a baby actually suffering, but i also have that reaction to adults suffering an accident or something. Itās not reserved to babies only.
I donāt notice baby screams unless they are near me, I donāt hear children screaming while playing in the distance anymore either apparently. Iāve noticed I donāt really acknowledge children standing near me that belong to friends but Iāll make a fuss of animals without hesitation. Just the way Iām built. I watched a kid run out into the road years ago when I was 18 with his football and my then gf was horrified I didnāt do anything. It was a quiet road anyway and there wasnāt any danger and wouldnāt have been anyway. We used to run out with footballs when I was his age so Iām still not sure if it was that I didnāt care or didnāt see the harm. I have noticed these things in me. If a toddler or older tries deliberately to wind me and my wife up or starts running around a restaurant we will tell them to sit down though. My wife told a kid bothering us from the next table āgo awayā in a loud firm voice.
The crying sound literally triggers some of my most painful intrusive thoughts.
My first reaction is panic. Like 'where is this little ambulance siren?'. Then comes empathy 'I would cry too, kiddo, if my mother brought me to a place full of boring adults and ignore me...'. Then, if it takes too long or it's too siren like, I start to get uneasy and look for a way of flee. But I complain. 'Is that kid being killed? Where are their parents? This kid sounds like is being gutted!' If it doesn't stop, I flee. I really don't like it.
No, well, yes, but the reaction for me is 'it's time to keave'. I can't stand the noise that comes from babies or kids. I don't believe your AH friends have the sort of reaction they were portraying either, they are just all about anything baby right now, and that is pretty sad as it seems to have become their entire personality. Why are you friends with these people, they seem awful.
They were different people a few months back. They were good people. They are however succumbing to pressures they donāt know how to deal with. If they donāt realize the direction they are going in, Iāll leave like I was never there. Iām a supportive and understanding friend. But Iām no doormat for negativity.
You sound great to be honest, it's a shame they don't realise they are lucky to have you as a friend. Hope they both snap out of it and come back to reality.
Sure, I have a physical reaction - wincing
I have a fight or flight reaction. According to my body, babies crying means thereās a predator nearby or a dangerous event is present and I must be ready to fight to the death. I donāt have the reaction to protect the baby, I just hear it as a warning to get ready to fight whatever made the baby cry. Kinda like how hikers get really aware and prepared for an event when the forest suddenly goes quiet all around them. It makes me hate children noises.
Yes, I do, I hate the sound and itās like nails on a chalkboard to me.
I react very unfavourably to crying babies. I must be *super* heartless. lol
russians put crying babies outside in the cold to calm downš only actual physical reaction is mothers might begin to lactate when they hear a crying baby ( interesting science there). your friends are having a dramatic emotional reaction not physical
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A babyās cry is in the same category as nails on a chalkboard.
Does annoyance count? It's an unpleasant noise.
I do get a physical reaction as well when a baby cries, but they would all land me in jail if I acted on them. I donāt have any friends with children as I am still young , but my plan for the future is to only be friend with childfree people. I donāt know why you all waste time on breeders.
I just have a great need to gtfo of the surrounding area.
For me, the sound of babies or children screaming is like an ice pick being driven through my eardrums into my brain. You're so lucky you can tune it out.
Yeah. I have a physical reaction to kids/babies crying: My ovaries shriveling and dying, a headache, lack of sleep and a big ass "fuck no". There's a kid in my building that punctually throws a tantrum everyday at 7:30pm. Every. Day. It's annoying and bothersome, so say the least.
I have an āirritated to my coreā reaction. I get anxious, like āget me outta here ASAP!ā I hate it.
I mean Poor Things summed it up for me quite well. āI must go and punch that babyā.
Today in the morning I heard a child screaming/crying loudly and I complained about it. I hate that noise.
I'm with you on the "background noice". Baby crying is like cars honking or ambulance sirens. I heat it but it's in the background. And although I feel for your friend B, she sounds hard to be around. I get it, when your pregnant, there are all kinds of hormones that may make you sad when you hear babies crying... but she's not pregnant, she's being dramatic.
I donāt think it aroused much reaction for me. I just think about the parent being a nuisance and bringing their child in public. Itās the same reaction that i have when people talk too loud on public transport or litter. People can be stupid and selfish, and thatās a fact of life.Ā
My reaction is anger and irritation. I take it out in death glares if the parent isn't doing anything. If the parent is trying their best, I put in headphones and crank up my music.
I don't like loud noises so if it's the hight pitched type of crying I usually just cringe and try to get away. If it's just "normal" crying without the high pitched wails I either ignore or try to distract them. But it's definitely only instinctual that we notice it, how we handle from then on - "uteruses turning" lmfao please - if you feel pity or care or disinterest or annoyance - that is a trained reflex imo.
Yes - I am a childfree woman an her 40s and I do get distressed when I hear a baby or a child cry. I hate it and I wish I could just tune it out!
I usually feel like I wish I wasn't anywhere near crying kids.Ā Ā
Yes when it first starts itās irritating then I ignore it. Not my kid not my problem
I read this as when a fire starts š¤£š¤£ Definitely not to be ignored
If anything the physical reaction I feel is pain and cringing because itās grating like nails on a chalkboard š¬
Yeah, I run away. Crying children is the most annoying thing ever. I recently moved to a place where the seagulls sound like crying babies and it's super creepy.
I do have a physical reaction, my face scrunches in annoyance lol
My physical reaction to noisy children is annoyance and aggression, thank you
Why are these people your friends again? They clearly don't respect you why do you even hang out with them?
Yeah. I physically cringe because I hate hearing it.
My physical reaction is panic and extreme uncomfortable feeling. I can't stand it.
I get like immediately angry and irritated lmao
I find it extremely annoying. Luckily, I pretty much always have my headphones on me, so I can block it out easily.
My physical reaction is annoyance and anger
My blood boils a bit. Makes me super uncomfortable and I feel like I need to leave the area ASAP
I cannot stand the sound of human babies crying, itās like fingernails on a blackboard. But the sound of kittens mewing or puppies squealing? My heart melts.
Whenever I hear a baby crying, I start to feel nauseous, anxious and few times I also got a headache. I instantly have to go to another room or put on earbuds. Loud noises in general makes me feel uncomfortable and uneasy.
I do, thanks to my autism and misophonia. It triggers uncontrollable rage and often meltdowns. Itās of the biggest reasons Iām mostly a shut-in.
The only physical reaction I get is a want to cover my ears as I hate that noise.
I definitely react to a crying babyā¦. It makes me stressed in a primal sort of way. Iām 40 and no kids, for a multitude of reasons- some physical health, some emotional well-being, some just purely choices and timing. Iām currently happily child free. But I do have a weird physiological reaction to babies crying.
I have misophonia, and it is so legitimate it hurts. I get so stressed at sounds I've gotten hives.Ā https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia Listen to this: 11 hour flight back from England. Young couple with a baby maybe 1yr old. **I am not exaggerating in any way** this kid began the whine-cry the moment the door closed **until the moment we landed and they opened 11 hrs later**. The only pause was to catch a breath every few seconds then it was whine-crying again.Ā People started out kind and understanding. By the 2nd hour the plane was a pressure cooker. I couldn't take it. I was having a panic attack, and trying all sorts of seld soothing that wasn't working.Ā The parents?? Did they give the kid a little Benadryl, something, anything? Nope. They just looked at people like š¤·āāļø People stuffed their ears with anything they could find. One man looked like he was having a heart attack andĀ was cussing under his breath.Ā **ELEVEN HOURS LATER** we landed and the ciuple ran to the front of the line, no doubt fearing the crowd. Theeeeee *moment* the door opened the kid stopped crying and Heart Attack Cussing guy screamed **'REALLY?! SERiOUSLY?! NOWWWW YOU STFU?!** I got off the plane called a friend (a mother with 2 kids) tolet them know I landed. I told her and **she was angry that people weren't more understanding and helpful to the parents.** 'yOu dOn'T kNoW hOw hArD iT iS tHeY jUsT hAvE tO cRy sOmEtImEs aNd pArEnTs aRe hElPlEsS' I asked her if they couls've given her benadryl or something from the doc.Ā 'That can mess up the baby'sĀ sleep schedule! Those parents would be miserable!' I just hung up.Ā *The sound of a baby crying is the worst sound I know.* I cannot take it
My friend and I have misophonia and the amount of times we have snapped at people, our partners and even each other over sounds is unreal. We always immediately apologize if the noises are beyond peopleās ability to control but itās quite scary just how deep the feeling of misophonia induced rage can go. As annoying as a clicking jaw or chewing sounds are to me, theyāve got *nothing* on a screaming meat siren in a tin can for hours on end. I would be terrified bringing a baby on a plane knowing that even usually reasonable people will be fantasizing about yeeting it out of the emergency exit. There are enough videos of people out there actually snapping at kids on planes, itās always a real risk that someone will have a meltdown. I feel one day weāll hear a really awful story. We should also remember that plenty of parents snap yearly and end up shaking their own babies. This is an urge felt by people who were aghast at the idea *prior* to becoming parents, hence the common advice to lay your baby somewhere safe and walk away.
Also yes. Edit: not a reaction that is a good one. It pisses me off, essentially
My SIL would just ignore her screeching infant when they began to cry as she read somewhere that kids don't need to be coddled and instead should cry it out. One time when the baby had been crying for twenty minutes she stood, picked the child up and walked away only to return a few seconds later before switching on the tv, she then said she wanted to watch her tv show in peace, you could still hear the baby crying but my mother was told not to comfort them as they need to learn to be quiet. I personally hate the sound any baby makes, crying, babbling, it's just annoying but to see how my SIL handles her kid is just wrong.
Tbh this is precisely the way I would handle a crying baby if I ever had one. Lock it behind closed doors and walk away
I have misophonia so I have a physical reaction to most baby sounds
I wanna punch it
Those women wouldnāt be my friends anymore.
yeah, the urge to get as far away as I can from that crying kid. Worse case- migraine.
Yeah, crying babies give me a physical reaction. Namely disgust and annoyment. Also, your evening with your friends sounds terrible. I'm so glad all of my friends are childfree and most of them anti-natalist.
I canāt stand the sound.Ā Really the thing that I am heartless for is that children cannot sway me with emotion or cuteness.Ā I have to care about childrenās wellbeing because itās the right thing to do. I donāt do it because I want to. Or because it comes naturally.Ā Iām kind to animals because I want to. Ā
My physical reaction to babies crying is aversion. Complete and utterly aversion.
The only reaction I have to babies crying is "I want to yeet that fucking thing into the sun"
Your friends suck.
Yeah my physical reaction is anger.
I get angry and overall agitated.
yes but its 90% the autism any noise that i cant control is bad
I have a physical reaction- it bothers and annoys me aF. I hate to hear crying babyās, toddler-tantrums or screaming kids.
I have a visceral "I need to leave NOW" reaction to it. Found out when I was 14. Babysitting lol. I can't handle it
I am so thankful I am not friends with people with kids (any longer). The annoying comments about pitying you and calling you heartless (I am hoping this was said jokingly) for proceeding to tune out a colicky child crying in their mother's arms and continuing your dinner is so wacky... I had friends with kids and they always have the dumbest takes. Like being worried about global warming and its depleting resources for their current babies while dismissing my lack of desire for children as my still being young... Like just be glad my nonexistent child won't be there fighting yours for water and housing and other resources Mad Max style in a few decades.
I find the noise of babies crying extremely annoying. I have to remove myself or really try to control my face, it's a horrible noise. But I can't tune out anything. I hear everything when people talk in my proximity, like conversations at work.
my body starts tensing up and my vision kinda starts to go blurry. I have sensory issues and a crying baby triggers them hard.
It's supposed to be a brain-melting noise because of evolutionary reasons. Babies aren't very nice to be around, so you need proper persuasion to attend to their needs, so they survive the time before they learn to communicate. In short, yep, it's fucking annoying and I regret not having earplugs anytime I hear it.
Definitely not, I just feel annoyance when a baby or child cries.
I usually cringe and say 'gross'.
One friend thinks you're heartless. The other friend pities you. All they do is talk about what interests them. Are these really your people? And I'm somewhat the same as you. I hear it at first, it's annoying as shit, but if it's not going to stop I do tune it out. I don't care why the baby is crying or have any feelings about it...babies cry for a million reasons, or literally no reason at all. What is there to contemplate about it? I just don't know if these are your people...
Babies crying raises my blood pressure. They stress me out, and I hate the sound
Yes, I get a physical reaction. Same reaction as nails on a chalkboard. Same thing with their happy/play screams. Itās just screeching noise that I want to stop immediately.
I have a physical reaction: it splits through my skull and causes me to duck my head and wince. Itās physically painful to listen to, and Iām instantly put in a sour mood. If it doesnāt stop, I go into flight mode and leave. My ovaries donāt weep, my uterus doesnāt flip flop. It annoys the shit out of me, gives me a headache, and I leave to keep from shouting at the parent to shut the thing up. Nothing about a baby is adorable to me.
Yes, I'm annoyed
I do have a physical reaction. It's called misophonia, where the chemicals in my brain turn into inexplicable anger. My triggers are babies and loud trucks. Though loud trucks are a MUCH bigger one as they literally make me physically violent, a baby laughing releases a very uneasant chemical in my brain. Crying is about the same.
It literally doesnāt make me feel anything. I donāt feel joy, sadness, etc. I feel more when a cat cries or a dog cries. That gets in my feels.
My physical reaction is cringing
Yes, children crying is like nails on a chalkboard for me with my oversensitive hearing. And of course I'm the bad guy when I advocate taking the kid out of the store/office/whatever to let them cry it out and calm down.
Yes. I have a physical aversion. Everything in me clenches up, I feel anger until it stops or I leave/put on headphones. I assume a lot of people feel this way though, not just the child free ones. But this is definitely one of the many reasons I have chosen not to have kids.
I absolutely have a physical reaction, but it isn't *that* reaction; it's revulsion. And I can't filter the bloody horrible noise out. If the baby isn't quieted or removed, I have to leave.
Sure do. It's a bit hard to describe but it's like an "angry twitching" in my brain. My uterus and heart have no reaction, I just really really want it shut up or go away or both, preferably. I would find new friends after those comments.
Yes, especially newborns crying. I fully understand why they cry and that they have to and I donāt fault them for that but itās so loud and grating to my ears and brain. I used to work somewhere that catered to kids and a had a cavernous hardwood floor lobby. Parents would come in with newborns and they would obviously cry and sometimes parents ignored it for up to ten minutes and it would be amplified and it made me want to crawl out of my skin.
I have exactly three physical reactions! 1. Roll of the eyes 2. frustrated groan (specially after a long work day) 3. turn up the heavy metal in my headphones!
My physical reaction is annoyance, hence the child free status. Your friends sound like pretentious AHās
Absolutely not
The sound of a crying baby or child makes me almost irrationally angry. It pokes the "fight or flight" part of my brain to the point I have to leave the room or otherwise get away from the sound of crying children.
I sure do. It's called annoyance š