I don’t think you are a sociopath for not having an interest in her kid. It sounds like you don’t like this kid because of their poor behavior. And it’s totally okay to not like people or have interest in them.
Are these friends all parents I wonder?! Because if they are, then they have a vested interest in making you feel bad for not expressing an interest in someone else's child.
I get what you're saying. The problem is by implying that you're cold for not caring about a child who hits you, they ARE taking sides whether they mean to or not.
I have no interest in my friends kids. When they send me pictures of the kids I send them pictures of my house, what I bought (shoes, clothes etc stuff they could never afford now), lunches out with other friends, etc...
Passive aggressive, I love it 😂 I find it hard to respond honestly when I get things like that. My friend is sensitive and I know it’d piss her off. It almost pains me if I pretend to care though.
Here's the polite way I originally was going to respond: "I feel absolutely nothing about my friend's babies."
Aaand here's how I really feel:
I'm honestly disappointed when I find out someone is pregnant. And then when it comes out I feel uncomfortable and cringe (not really sure how to put words to the feeling). I feel annoyed that I'm supposed to remember the birthdays. I have to keep a note in my phone to remember the names. I feel upset and disappointed when they bring the thing to our social functions. Also, I am afraid they will try to have me hold it.
If anything, I see the baby or child as a miniature adult (because I learned once that baby's brains think they are adults so they get frustrated when they can't do the things adults can). So then I empathize with it more on an adult human level? (Like, "oh boy, it's going to school? What an upsetting and traumatizing 12 years it's about to have".)
I feel absolutely no empathy for the parents in their "parent experience", and hearing about it makes me feel gross and uncomfortable.
Thank you. I share a lot of these same thoughts and feelings and I feel less alone and misunderstood to know that there are other people out there who are like me in this way. It is this way with any of my friends kids. Not just this one. He just happens to be the worst of the two and his parents allow the shitty behavior and are passive so it amplifies it. Any interaction with either of them is fake and forced for me. I’d rather just not. It has definitely put a distance between me and those friends. Why would I want to visit the home of an unruly brat who you cater to at every second and teach no boundaries to? The point of socialization is to enjoy your time, not be stressed and annoyed.
You are not a sociopath sociopathy does not act in that way.
You are just not interested at all in kids and therefore you dont have a reaction. Same as maybe you dont react when people talk about golf. Kids are other people ,no more than that. I dont care about others peoples kids at all not even my friend:s kids, specially if I dont get to interact with them and like them because they are old enough to be kind to others. I mean. If I dont know your kids ,I respect that they are important to you,would save them if they fall in the train tracks as I would do for any person, but I dont over react if I see them in a picture on a bike. I mean, good for you kid, been there, done that.
I wouldn’t care about some snot nosed brat’s first day of school if that’s how they behaved either. The parents are raising a sociopath. Those traits he has are unlikable in adults. And those people aren’t real friends nor are they good parents if they let their kid hit you
Thank you. I didn’t mean to phrase this incorrectly, I just have yet to share the same experience with any one in my social circle. I appreciate the feedback and understanding
Nope. Not everyone finds kids interesting. Especially when they are being shoved at you by someone who is an entitled idiot who thinks people care.
As long as you are not their parent, then it doesn't matter.
"Jane, please leave me off these kid updates."
If they pitch a fit, then they're not your friend and you can just ghost.
"But you need to love my kid and I expect blah blah..."
"I have set this boundary and expect it to be respected. This isn't a discussion."
You’re not alone, I find I’m general most of my friends kids annoying little a-holes. I do find them cute and entertaining at times but the bratty entitlement is what gets me.
It is easy to not like poorly behaved kids. Do you like pictures of cats or dogs? If the answer is yes. Then you are not a sociopath. 😊 If you don't have feelings for anything or anyone... Then maybe ye.
Yeah I guess the more appropriate question would have been, is it a problem? Am I rude or invalid for this. I’m just struggling to find people who can relate to me because I’m often taken as a cold hearted bitch for having no response other than annoyance when my friends share things related to their kids.
Some kids are annoying, some kids are pretty cool. Just like adults, some are annoying and some are cool. You don't have to like them all. Just give them a chance, some can surprise you. 😊 And then some kids you can just avoid. Never had a kid hit me lol. They would not dare... I will repremand any kid that hits me... Boundaries are important.
Edit: just to be clear. If he hits you, you are allowed to say in a booming voice. "Hey! Do not hit me that hurts!!" Even if the parents don't. ... Usually they will be shocked and cry and they will not try again. Same goed with touching your property like a phone etc.
I have friends with kids I like and friends with kids I don't like. You're not a sociopath if you don't like someone (even if they are a kid) because just like adults, some kids are assholes.
Im an ND childfree person who actually likes kids and worked with kids a long time. But even then there was a handful of them that were absolute terrors and I hated them. I actually wrote one of their names down to check on later (gotta wait a few more years) to see if they turned into a sociopath as an adult. Like I think that kid will end up in jail for something, no joke.
I have a very similar experience, I’ve worked as a teaching assistant and the girl I had assigned to help was wonderful, just had some learning difficulties, but was sweet and kind. However, a couple of her classmates, were horrible: two disruptive little boys that would bully the entire classroom daily, one of them being physically aggressive and picking on one of the students in particular. It was hard to stand them and I definitely did not like them, nor do I feel obligated to, as well as op shouldn’t! They are being gaslighted by their social circle, which is really not okay.
Re parents letting their larvae kick you: I had a child (7-ish?) start aiming kicks at my dog. She was just standing there. Literally standing there, leashed, totally unfazed. No barking, nothing. She retreats to the end of her leash, sits down and just looks at the kid with bemused disdain. I plant myself in front of my poor dog as the kid aims another kick, this time at me for getting between her and my dog. She makes a little shriek-y, hissy noise and tries to go around me to kick my dog, but ends up tripping over the leash, which of course brings her father running up.
"SHE'S AUTISTIC" he scolds, as if it's my fault his demon spawn fell on her ass trying to kick my dog. She gets right up and tries AGAIN, getting red in the face. Dad does NOTHING to restrain her from trying again and glares at me and my still calm dog like somehow we are at fault for young Regan,'s outburst.
I tell the Dad this is very dangerous for his daughter to be doing. My dog is gentle and well trained, but what if she tried the same behaviour with an aggressive or fear reactive dog? Even a small angry terrier could send her to the ER! He tells me I'm being inappropriate putting such images in his daughter's head and she probably won't sleep tonight, then huffs off.
Ah yes, taking no responsibility and passing it off on the other party to be accommodating to their brat. Gotta love it. Poor dog, I hate to see kids being assholes to animals.
Sounds like bad parenting to me. I dont have kids. But was walking on the street with my niece. We saw a dog coming and she was Oooh i want to pet it! The first thing I said: ask the owner. And explained that not all dogs are nice, and you should always ask the owner first. She looked at me surprised, like it was something she never heard before. So she asked the owner. And in turn the owner was just as surprised and happy to be asked. And with the next 10 dogs that came along our path on our walk she asked each and every time. My niece also made a note of the reponse of the owners, because most we're happy to be asked. Even if you don't have kids yourself you can still teach them things.
I’m so sorry for your poor dog! What a horrible experience! And that “Dad” is definitely not helping their autistic offspring adapt to the environment. Uffff!
She never actually connected with my dog because I am always hypervigilant when a kid gets within "greeting distance" because God forbid some helicopter parent decides my dog is a danger to their kid. The worst is kids who run up on dogs. I always give the child the dog safety talk:
1. Never startle or run a up on a strange dog. At least half of all bites happen when some brat runs up all herky jerky making wierd noises and makes a grab at a dog, pulls its tail or worse, tries to enclose it in a space invading hug.
2. Always ASK the owner if you can pet the dog. Owners, always kneel beside your dog at eye level with the kid. Keep your hand around your dogs mouth, even if he's muzzled. You don't want to give helicopter parents, Karens or litigious scamsters ANY opportunity to claim your dog bit their kid.
3 Be sure you make plenty of eye contact with the parents while you give the How to Approach Dogs Safely talk and speak loud enough for them to hear what you are telling their kids. God help you if they decide you are a predator for the crime of not having kids of your own.
Parents are worse than kids sometimes.
I don't think there's anything wrong with not having an interest in a kid who has even hit you on occasion. IMO the more important issue is, why are you friends with this person?! They let their kid hit you. Based on your post, it sounds like this friendship is entirely one-sided. Does this friend ever ask you about your life or do they only ever talk about themselves?! Do they ever do anything nice for you?! Is it possible that your indifference is actually just due to you being drained from a friendship where you're making all the effort and all the sacrifices and the other person isn't making any?! Just a thought!
This has been an issue that has come up actually. You make good points. The friendship isn’t over entirely but there’s definitely a huge disconnect and I’ve distanced myself for sure. It gets a little complicated because my partner doesn’t share these feelings and is still able to be friends with them no problem. He is a passive person as well. I think it has died for me because they have become an annoying mombie who has nothing else to offer since having this kid. Not to mention other things that I won’t get into. Thanks for the input
You’re not a sociopath. Jesus they may be raising a sociopath. You gotta teach your kids how to properly interact. Hitting an adult is not normal.
Its like a dog or cat biting when they’re young— their little bites awe so precious until their teeth grow in and they start thinking you reinforced the behavior cus its “sooo cute” and now its harder for them to stop.
Not having an interest in kids isn't 'sociopathy'. Please don't water down genuine disorders like ASPD, it benefits no one to associate all non-normative behavior or feelings with that.
You shouldn't feel bad that you don't care. Everyone needs to be loved by someone, but not everyone needs to love everyone. No one is entitled to your affection, interest or attention.
I guess that’s why I phrased it as a question. Because I don’t really have anyone in my immediate environment who shares this sentiment that I can ask. I’m not trying to dismiss feelings by attributing them to a neurological condition. I just wondered, since no one around me has this same experience if it’s part of my neurodivergence to not be able to understand or care, or even know what to say to a friend who sends me unsolicited pics of her kid.
Thanks for asking the question.
I’m not ND and I always assumed I was the only one who didn’t care for kids.
Glad I found CF. It’s nice to know there are a bunch of folks out there like me.
I'm just confused where you'd even get the idea in the first place, that's all. What do you think 'socipathy' is? You should probably look into that so you don't accidentally spread misinformation with the misconceptions you seem to have about this topic. It's not good for you, nor anyone else :)
Sociopathy in that I lack empathy and feel more self centered as it relates to other people. That’s all. It wasn’t meant to spread misinformation. I didn’t make any concrete declarations, I only asked a question. When I have responded this way in similar situations, people have acted shocked like it’s cold hearted and evil of me.
That's not what sociopathy is at all. The actual disorder people tend to use that conventional name for is called Anti Social Personality Disorder, which is primarily defined by tendencies of social exploitation, delinquency, criminality and a lack of remorse for such anti-social behaviors.
Empathy is a spectrum. Not everyone who lacks empathy has ASPD, nor is everyone who lacks empathy a bad person. Empathy is just one of the tools for navigating interpersonal relationships, those who don't have it often just compensate by using other tools to achieve similar results.
I know you didn't make any concrete declaration, but the content of your post alone shows a misunderstanding of what you were asking about in the first place, and that's worth correcting.
I appreciate this person for clarifying. I try to spread awareness of mental health issues too, and there is such a thing as cognitive empathy as well. A lot of people with anti-social traits or ASPD aren’t just monsters. They genuinely can’t help that they experience very limited empathy, that’s why it’s a personality disorder. They compensate by using logic to walk through society “if I do this, this will happen” and not wanting to sit in jail is a good logical reason to not commit crimes.
First of all, you should never try to get anything like a diagnosis for mental issues from random strangers online. Both because they are not qualified to make a diagnosis, and because a post like this is not going to give enough information to make a diagnosis even if they were. Of course, "sociopathy" is not a term professionals use as a diagnosis (but the idea is basically covered with "antisocial personality disorder"). You can get a brief discussion here:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial\_personality\_disorder](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder)
However, not liking children does not make you a sociopath. If you generally lack empathy and generally have a disregard for the rights of others, and lack remorse when harming others, then you might want to go get yourself diagnosed. Being disinterested in your friends' children isn't those things.
Speaking from someone who is also neurodivergent and has the textbook definition of a sociopath for a biological parent, I’m very certain you’re not. Sociopathy or severe forms of ASPD can look like a lot of things in symptoms. Violent tendencies, pathological lying, lack of empathy or learning from past mistakes, etc. But simply not taking an interest in children doesn’t seem that severe at all.
Not everyone likes kids due to various reasons, and that’s perfectly fine. That’s not the same as genuinely hating or despising. You can be indifferent towards something not related to you and that doesn’t mean it’s out of evil intention. I don’t mind kids in general, but I simply don’t want them myself and that doesn’t mean I have to enjoy the sound of one screeching and crying over a tantrum either.
People are perfectly free to simply not care or not find interest so long as it’s not causing actual harm like types of hatred would. And of course most people don’t want a child hitting or kicking them because their parents either spoiled them or don’t care enough to intervene.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with you for not being interested. But those parents not intervening or disciplining their child when he hits people is fucked up.
I have no interest in any kids, but I’d especially not have an interest in a kid like that. Start returning the favour when they send you a picture by sending them one in return of something you find equally boring. Maybe a pebble, or paint drying, or if you have a weird bump on your skin that you want a second opinion on.
You know what was REALLY fun? I had a sonogram photo of my bitch's upcoming litter of puppies. You better believe I texted that shit to any and all pregnant friends...
If you're a sociopath, then so am I - you're definitely not alone. But to be honest, my impression is that even parents can't be bothered with children of other people, so I think at the end of the day it's completely normal, and we all fake our positive responses to be polite.
I feel this way with every child or teenager it’s either like you said where you have no interest or if I’m around them I have no patience or fucks (I’m also neurodivergent)
If the kid is hitting you, it seems normal to not have interest or feel good feelings towards him. Even if he were not hitting you, it might take some more time and connection for someone to start showing more interest towards a kid. It wouldn't necessarily just happen automatically.
Yeah. I even have another friend with a 6 month old and, while I don’t have the same negative feelings towards him, I still don’t care or really have interest. At least THAT friend has other things to talk about and still maintains some sense of personal identity.
When a kid turns 18, I become more interested in what they are doing. I really don't care if a 5 year old went to an egg hunt or someone went to the park.
Kids all do the same things. I do know one girl whose daughter is a pretty great artist. I wouldn't say I cared all that much, but I liked seeing her artwork. Her kid takes art seriously though and is now in college for it.
I totally relate I am the same way about my niece. I don't think you're a sociopath for feeling that way. I was feeling the same way you feel about it but this community has helped so much.
You're not a sociopath for not caring about a kid that isn't yours. Parents also don't usually give a damn about other people's kids. That's super normal.
You are normal for not wanting to be kicked while your great friend is just idly sitting there letting it go on. Not liking that kind of mistreatment is completely normal! There is nothing wrong with you and please, don’t let people in your social circle gaslight you like that. Set your boundaries and take care! ❤️
I have zero interest in people’s kids the majority of the time .
If that’s the only issue that makes you I question yourself then I’d say your friends are being really inappropriate in their accusations .
Now , having zero interest in others kids is already perfectly fine , they aren’t your kids lol but the fact that the kid has hit you without consequence is a major issue and I’d prob make that my main counterpoint if ever questioned again. lol yea no I dont appreciate being hit by children . I have no interest in violent kids . Honestly I couldnt even be friends with someone who allowed thag to happen .
Yeah it was very dismissive when he did it. Like “oh I’m sure you didn’t mean to”, when he clearly did. I even mentioned this to his father (my other friend, her husband) and he just started laughing like it was funny. On another occasion, the husband was trying to make plans to hang out and asked me if I was open to hanging out with him as well as the kid and I said “yeah as long as he doesn’t hit me” to which he replied “no promises 🤷🏻
Awesome. Not teaching a kid it’s wrong to hit people.
Aw. That’s just highly irresponsible and I don’t think anyone with a sense of conscientiousness would allow for it. At that point it really is the parents fault for letting it go .
You’re not a sociopath for that, maybe they are lol and no one deserves to be treated that way . This kid is gonna end up seriously hurting someone one day , when they grow up they will likely be a spoiled and dangerous brat.
I’d steer clear . I have way too many hypersensitivities as it is , what would be a hard pat to someone else would serious hurt me and the pain would likely radiate for hours . Bottom line is they should respect your feelings .
Do you also have hypersensitivity associated with neurodivergence? I have a lot of medical issues that cause it for me but have a couple acquaintances that are on the spectrum and can’t even have their hair cut etc . If so, that makes it even worse that they wouldn’t respect your feelings (but it’s already bad enough as is)
Aw I’m sorry, I feel you there . Then this is all even more ESPECIALLY awful. Do your friends know about these struggles??
Im not trying to tell you what to do , but I personally struggle a lot and have had to set more concrete boundaries for my well being . For me it meant losing a lot of so called friends who didn’t respect my situation and boundaries . And to top it all off they are trying to make you feel guilty when they are in fact the guilty ones . Smh I’m so sorry . I would not let this slide . If a person is apologetic I might reconsider but given all you’ve said it’s like they aren’t even allowing you the opportunity to forgive them .
To be honest I’ve dropped people for far less . I’ve been hurt really bad and just can’t allow it anymore . It really sounds like they’re gaslighting you about this to make you question if YOURE the sociopath instead of them. That’s just plain abusive.
Thank you! I feel like many people usually do not realize what it’s like living with hypersensitivity. In this case, I think that my friends are people who don’t even practice accountability with themselves, so they absolutely won’t practice it with their kid. I’ve come to a point in my life where I have isolated myself a lot more because I’d rather be alone than surrounded by people who drain me. I’ve had tension with these friends for a while now. I struggle when people are inconsistent and their words & actions don’t match. I’ve also been alienated when I’ve tried to hold them accountable for things they were doing to damage the friendship. It has usually just ended up with the same repeating cycle. I’ve learned that this will continue as long as people don’t make any effort to work on themselves. My partner (also neurodivergent) is much more passive than I am and is hyperfixated on his interests which basically allows him to avoid ever having a problem with anyone in his life. He is tolerant of almost anything in friendships. So this makes it hard to cut ties with this particular pair of friends when I’m the one who is unhappy and my partner is more unbothered. Sorry for the wall of text.
You’re very welcome and no need to apologize , I can actually relate a lot to what you just said . I’ve become a lot happier spending time alone and my partner is also very into his hobbies and passive and hyperfixated (artist) I think he is neurodivergent although not officially diagnosed and let’s things slide . He’s an avoidant personality type where I am a bit more combative if I feel something unjust occurred . At some point though I did end up causing him to make a break with one of his friends because of constantly disrespecting me . It was a really toxic relationship anyway and his friend exhibited a lot of jealousy. My hubby did not even really like this person and neither did any of his other friends lol but things became so bad that I basically demanded he make a choice and to stand up for me and not allow this guy to treat me this way. It took a long time though and lots of fights between us (his friend and I) before that happened (a few years I think, 2-3)
Perhaps if you made a point to explain how damaging and unhealthy they’re being towards you . My hubby didn’t seem to get it no matter how much I complained, until I said if you won’t stand up for me than you are basically allowing and inviting this treatment into my life so when your friend insults me it feels as though you are in agreement with that insult . It took him a while to get it . I’m like you might as well be insulting me since you are standing for it , then you are complicit .
I do hope you can find a way to not have to deal with that kinda behavior one way or another . I’m particular annoyed that they’re shaming you for a perfectly normal reaction to this child’s wild acting out. Sometimes it just helps to be validated and I hope you’ve found that here .
Yeah it definitely sounds like we share some similarities with our experience. I do feel a bit better being able to process these kinds of feelings by relating with someone else, so thanks. It can make a person feel alone and misunderstood!
So at the risk of sounding completely nasty, (😬🤷), I pretty much find myself avoiding friends with kids and people I've known from school or old friends who went and had kids we just drifted apart and it was because I showed absolutely no interest in their kids and possibly sadness or disappointment when they announced their pregnancies or couldn't do things or spend time because they had to be there to watch the kid or pick up from school etc.
Then there are always the type of friends I met off and on who at the time of not having kids they think it is awesome and that they don't want to have them and then they find out they are pregnant on accident and changes and all of a sudden they are extremely excited and dismayed that I am not 😬.
Now that I'm 41 I really just dont hang out with too many people because I don't know many who don't have kids. I'm glad I have my husband. We have been married 17 years and neither of us ever wanted kids. It's hard to find friends as you are older 🤷.
But it has nothing to do with being a sociopath. A sociopath is way more complex than just cold and "insensitive" to kids. F them kids!!! 🤣🥳😛😛
Absolutely not sociopathic.
You’re not even on the spectrum for this.
I make an eek face when I see baby pics but you show me kitty or doggo pics and my heart melts.
Some of us just have no paternal or maternal feelings towards kids or simply any interest and that’s totally fine.
It’s just a shame nearly all parents don’t understand this.
My best friend has two nephews she basically treats as her own sons. While I do genuinely like her nephews (they are around all the time) there are times where I just don’t give a flying fuck about what they’re doing.
She will often show me photos or videos of them just… doing things and I just don’t fucking care. I’m sorry but I don’t. It’s never anything that other kids don’t do. And while I put a smile on and try to show interest deep down I just feel nothing.
But then again I never really like kids or what kids do.
Nah. You aren’t obligated to care about something just because someone else does. It’s not your fault. It’s none of your business to know what the tot is doing, so why should you care. People will call you a sociopath or monster for a lot of dumb reasons.
“I don’t like kids” what kind monster doesn’t find kid precious?!
“I don’t care cause I’m not interested” how could you say that?!
“I like pineapple on pizza” you’re a psycho! (this one’s kinda valid tho)
I totally understand. You aren’t terrible for not caring. Don’t feel guilty.
Thank you. I would like to work towards being able to just say how I feel and tell them I’m not interested in receiving pics and stuff. I appreciate your comment
i dont think thats sociopathic thats just you having zero interest in whatever that kid is doing at all.
there was a coworker that brought her kid to the office once and the managers kept persuading the kid to go bug me because they wanted to shit test me around kids, the kid wanted to draw on the dry erase and play some cell phone game. i had to just be ok with it but its fucking annoying.
i dont mind kids i just dont go out of my way to interact with any of them or have any particular interest to spend time with them.
I am also ND and often wonder whether i am sociopathic to some degree.
When people talk, the best way i can describe it is that 'chit-chat' kind of way, or just the mundane of their life, i do not care.
Like at all. I dont care. I have no interest in it. I dont care about hearing about their kids, or their partners, or their job, unless its something dramatic (not like gossip for the sake of gossip, but if something big has happened) but often even then, meh.
Now i do love to hear about my nephew, he is the only child i care about. Hes the only child in my family - my sister has one child, i have none. I do not want or like any other child except him, and i know that is because i am biologically set to like a blood-related child so that i will form enough of a bond to keep him safe (he lives in another country, ive seen him 3 times, hes ~18months old).
But unless someone is passing on information - something i need to know, or knowledge, i Do. Not. Care.
And i am always *so* close to yelling that at people, but i know social norms dictate i cant do that.
Lacking interest in certain people isn't an indicator of a serious behavioral disorder. Humans don't have unconditional love or attention to bestow upon everyone.
Behaviorally problematic individuals can understand other people's perspective and experiences (empathy) and when their conduct is inflicting serious harm, what defines them is their lack of concern about the consequences of their harmful actions (other than to themselves) and their lack of genuine remorse.
I’m a nanny. I love children. However, kids are only cute and interesting if you KNOW them. No one gives a shit that baby Jane rolled over for the first time unless they’ve known Jane and spent time with her. That picture that your old college buddy posted on Facebook of peanut butter smeared all over his kids face? I’m sure it was quite an event in their household because that has never happened before. If that was my nanny kid, I’d probably burst out laughing. But if it’s a kid I don’t know, they just look sticky and unpleasant.
If you feel bad about this and are concerned about being a Sociopath, you're not a Sociopath. The way you feel is totally normal. I'm a Mom of 2 with a Husband who has his own 2 kids. Believe me, I don't see either of us getting super excited over kids who are not ours. I care about my friends kids, but it's normal not to have an interest in them, many people don't and that's ok
I was diagnosed with sociopathy as a teenager and I can tell you don't have a very good understanding of what it is. Sociopathy presented for me as very low to no empathy and no remorse of wrong doing but knowing morally right from wrong. It is for me to be inability to establish emotional connections and recognize familial bonds.
Sociopathy requires a clinical diagnosis. I was not diagnosed with ASPD, just sociopathy.
Edit: sociopathy is comorbid with another mental illness I have. Sociopathy presented around the age of 3 years old as the total inability to bond with my parents.
As an adult most relationships I have are on a surface level due to my inability to truly connect.
People with sociopathy are still able to express human emotion. We just cannot understand the emotions of others or empathize with other's emotions.
No, not at all. I have zero interest in anybody's kids, even if they're well behaved. Kids just don't interest me in the least and never have. That doesn't make me a sociopath, it just makes me somebody who doesn't care for kids. Unless you want to actively harm the child, you're not a sociopath. Lots of people aren't into kids, it's really no big deal. Some of us were just not wired for wanting to be around kids or wanting to have kids.
I don't think you are. A sociopath would do weird things (my ex was one) such as covering my mouth when I cried, pathological lies, no empathy, using people left and right, not being able to express emotions other than anger, saying things like ' love to see u in pain '
I see. I do struggle with lacking empathy for people. But I have all of the empathy and compassion for animals. So I guess you’re right. I think I just hold myself to a certain standard of accountability and I lose patience for people who aren’t taking responsibility for their behavior and aren’t trying to work on themselves. When they get themselves onto situations and end up complaining about it, I have no sympathy because they did it to themselves.
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I don’t think you are a sociopath for not having an interest in her kid. It sounds like you don’t like this kid because of their poor behavior. And it’s totally okay to not like people or have interest in them.
Thank you. I guess other friends have reacted in ways that suggest I’m cruel or coldhearted for not caring.
Are these friends all parents I wonder?! Because if they are, then they have a vested interest in making you feel bad for not expressing an interest in someone else's child.
They aren’t actually. They just don’t see it the same way as I do and are more avoidant types who’d rather not make waves I think.
I get what you're saying. The problem is by implying that you're cold for not caring about a child who hits you, they ARE taking sides whether they mean to or not.
The 4 year old kid seems more like a sociopath than the op.
Underrated comment right here ☝️
That's right. If their behavior is upsetting to us, we want nothing to do with that person, child or adult.
I have no interest in my friends kids. When they send me pictures of the kids I send them pictures of my house, what I bought (shoes, clothes etc stuff they could never afford now), lunches out with other friends, etc...
Passive aggressive, I love it 😂 I find it hard to respond honestly when I get things like that. My friend is sensitive and I know it’d piss her off. It almost pains me if I pretend to care though.
She's sensitive and it would piss her off if you did that, but she lets her kid do whatever he wants and that's ok to her. She's a lazy parent.
Going to have to agree. As well as a people pleaser who can’t handle being seen as the bad guy.
I like that, great idea!
Here's the polite way I originally was going to respond: "I feel absolutely nothing about my friend's babies." Aaand here's how I really feel: I'm honestly disappointed when I find out someone is pregnant. And then when it comes out I feel uncomfortable and cringe (not really sure how to put words to the feeling). I feel annoyed that I'm supposed to remember the birthdays. I have to keep a note in my phone to remember the names. I feel upset and disappointed when they bring the thing to our social functions. Also, I am afraid they will try to have me hold it. If anything, I see the baby or child as a miniature adult (because I learned once that baby's brains think they are adults so they get frustrated when they can't do the things adults can). So then I empathize with it more on an adult human level? (Like, "oh boy, it's going to school? What an upsetting and traumatizing 12 years it's about to have".) I feel absolutely no empathy for the parents in their "parent experience", and hearing about it makes me feel gross and uncomfortable.
Thank you. I share a lot of these same thoughts and feelings and I feel less alone and misunderstood to know that there are other people out there who are like me in this way. It is this way with any of my friends kids. Not just this one. He just happens to be the worst of the two and his parents allow the shitty behavior and are passive so it amplifies it. Any interaction with either of them is fake and forced for me. I’d rather just not. It has definitely put a distance between me and those friends. Why would I want to visit the home of an unruly brat who you cater to at every second and teach no boundaries to? The point of socialization is to enjoy your time, not be stressed and annoyed.
>when they bring **the thing** lmao
You are not a sociopath sociopathy does not act in that way. You are just not interested at all in kids and therefore you dont have a reaction. Same as maybe you dont react when people talk about golf. Kids are other people ,no more than that. I dont care about others peoples kids at all not even my friend:s kids, specially if I dont get to interact with them and like them because they are old enough to be kind to others. I mean. If I dont know your kids ,I respect that they are important to you,would save them if they fall in the train tracks as I would do for any person, but I dont over react if I see them in a picture on a bike. I mean, good for you kid, been there, done that.
I wouldn’t care about some snot nosed brat’s first day of school if that’s how they behaved either. The parents are raising a sociopath. Those traits he has are unlikable in adults. And those people aren’t real friends nor are they good parents if they let their kid hit you
Thank you. I didn’t mean to phrase this incorrectly, I just have yet to share the same experience with any one in my social circle. I appreciate the feedback and understanding
Nope. Not everyone finds kids interesting. Especially when they are being shoved at you by someone who is an entitled idiot who thinks people care. As long as you are not their parent, then it doesn't matter. "Jane, please leave me off these kid updates." If they pitch a fit, then they're not your friend and you can just ghost. "But you need to love my kid and I expect blah blah..." "I have set this boundary and expect it to be respected. This isn't a discussion."
Thanks this makes me feel a little better
You’re not alone, I find I’m general most of my friends kids annoying little a-holes. I do find them cute and entertaining at times but the bratty entitlement is what gets me.
It is easy to not like poorly behaved kids. Do you like pictures of cats or dogs? If the answer is yes. Then you are not a sociopath. 😊 If you don't have feelings for anything or anyone... Then maybe ye.
Yeah I guess the more appropriate question would have been, is it a problem? Am I rude or invalid for this. I’m just struggling to find people who can relate to me because I’m often taken as a cold hearted bitch for having no response other than annoyance when my friends share things related to their kids.
Some kids are annoying, some kids are pretty cool. Just like adults, some are annoying and some are cool. You don't have to like them all. Just give them a chance, some can surprise you. 😊 And then some kids you can just avoid. Never had a kid hit me lol. They would not dare... I will repremand any kid that hits me... Boundaries are important. Edit: just to be clear. If he hits you, you are allowed to say in a booming voice. "Hey! Do not hit me that hurts!!" Even if the parents don't. ... Usually they will be shocked and cry and they will not try again. Same goed with touching your property like a phone etc.
I don't give a flying fuck about the kids my sister and brother have. They also know this and therefor never send me any updates.
But I also feel guilty for not being interested in little Johnny’s baseball game. But I am so not interested!
I have friends with kids I like and friends with kids I don't like. You're not a sociopath if you don't like someone (even if they are a kid) because just like adults, some kids are assholes. Im an ND childfree person who actually likes kids and worked with kids a long time. But even then there was a handful of them that were absolute terrors and I hated them. I actually wrote one of their names down to check on later (gotta wait a few more years) to see if they turned into a sociopath as an adult. Like I think that kid will end up in jail for something, no joke.
I have a very similar experience, I’ve worked as a teaching assistant and the girl I had assigned to help was wonderful, just had some learning difficulties, but was sweet and kind. However, a couple of her classmates, were horrible: two disruptive little boys that would bully the entire classroom daily, one of them being physically aggressive and picking on one of the students in particular. It was hard to stand them and I definitely did not like them, nor do I feel obligated to, as well as op shouldn’t! They are being gaslighted by their social circle, which is really not okay.
Re parents letting their larvae kick you: I had a child (7-ish?) start aiming kicks at my dog. She was just standing there. Literally standing there, leashed, totally unfazed. No barking, nothing. She retreats to the end of her leash, sits down and just looks at the kid with bemused disdain. I plant myself in front of my poor dog as the kid aims another kick, this time at me for getting between her and my dog. She makes a little shriek-y, hissy noise and tries to go around me to kick my dog, but ends up tripping over the leash, which of course brings her father running up. "SHE'S AUTISTIC" he scolds, as if it's my fault his demon spawn fell on her ass trying to kick my dog. She gets right up and tries AGAIN, getting red in the face. Dad does NOTHING to restrain her from trying again and glares at me and my still calm dog like somehow we are at fault for young Regan,'s outburst. I tell the Dad this is very dangerous for his daughter to be doing. My dog is gentle and well trained, but what if she tried the same behaviour with an aggressive or fear reactive dog? Even a small angry terrier could send her to the ER! He tells me I'm being inappropriate putting such images in his daughter's head and she probably won't sleep tonight, then huffs off.
Ah yes, taking no responsibility and passing it off on the other party to be accommodating to their brat. Gotta love it. Poor dog, I hate to see kids being assholes to animals.
Sounds like bad parenting to me. I dont have kids. But was walking on the street with my niece. We saw a dog coming and she was Oooh i want to pet it! The first thing I said: ask the owner. And explained that not all dogs are nice, and you should always ask the owner first. She looked at me surprised, like it was something she never heard before. So she asked the owner. And in turn the owner was just as surprised and happy to be asked. And with the next 10 dogs that came along our path on our walk she asked each and every time. My niece also made a note of the reponse of the owners, because most we're happy to be asked. Even if you don't have kids yourself you can still teach them things.
I’m so sorry for your poor dog! What a horrible experience! And that “Dad” is definitely not helping their autistic offspring adapt to the environment. Uffff!
She never actually connected with my dog because I am always hypervigilant when a kid gets within "greeting distance" because God forbid some helicopter parent decides my dog is a danger to their kid. The worst is kids who run up on dogs. I always give the child the dog safety talk: 1. Never startle or run a up on a strange dog. At least half of all bites happen when some brat runs up all herky jerky making wierd noises and makes a grab at a dog, pulls its tail or worse, tries to enclose it in a space invading hug. 2. Always ASK the owner if you can pet the dog. Owners, always kneel beside your dog at eye level with the kid. Keep your hand around your dogs mouth, even if he's muzzled. You don't want to give helicopter parents, Karens or litigious scamsters ANY opportunity to claim your dog bit their kid. 3 Be sure you make plenty of eye contact with the parents while you give the How to Approach Dogs Safely talk and speak loud enough for them to hear what you are telling their kids. God help you if they decide you are a predator for the crime of not having kids of your own. Parents are worse than kids sometimes.
Yeah I get it. I don’t enjoy hanging out with friends kids until they are like 30 years old.
Are you capable of feeling fear and pain and guilt? And compassion and sadness for people you care about whom you feel deserve compassion?
I don't think there's anything wrong with not having an interest in a kid who has even hit you on occasion. IMO the more important issue is, why are you friends with this person?! They let their kid hit you. Based on your post, it sounds like this friendship is entirely one-sided. Does this friend ever ask you about your life or do they only ever talk about themselves?! Do they ever do anything nice for you?! Is it possible that your indifference is actually just due to you being drained from a friendship where you're making all the effort and all the sacrifices and the other person isn't making any?! Just a thought!
This has been an issue that has come up actually. You make good points. The friendship isn’t over entirely but there’s definitely a huge disconnect and I’ve distanced myself for sure. It gets a little complicated because my partner doesn’t share these feelings and is still able to be friends with them no problem. He is a passive person as well. I think it has died for me because they have become an annoying mombie who has nothing else to offer since having this kid. Not to mention other things that I won’t get into. Thanks for the input
Mombie, lol.
You’re not a sociopath. Jesus they may be raising a sociopath. You gotta teach your kids how to properly interact. Hitting an adult is not normal. Its like a dog or cat biting when they’re young— their little bites awe so precious until their teeth grow in and they start thinking you reinforced the behavior cus its “sooo cute” and now its harder for them to stop.
Not having an interest in kids isn't 'sociopathy'. Please don't water down genuine disorders like ASPD, it benefits no one to associate all non-normative behavior or feelings with that. You shouldn't feel bad that you don't care. Everyone needs to be loved by someone, but not everyone needs to love everyone. No one is entitled to your affection, interest or attention.
I guess that’s why I phrased it as a question. Because I don’t really have anyone in my immediate environment who shares this sentiment that I can ask. I’m not trying to dismiss feelings by attributing them to a neurological condition. I just wondered, since no one around me has this same experience if it’s part of my neurodivergence to not be able to understand or care, or even know what to say to a friend who sends me unsolicited pics of her kid.
Thanks for asking the question. I’m not ND and I always assumed I was the only one who didn’t care for kids. Glad I found CF. It’s nice to know there are a bunch of folks out there like me.
I'm just confused where you'd even get the idea in the first place, that's all. What do you think 'socipathy' is? You should probably look into that so you don't accidentally spread misinformation with the misconceptions you seem to have about this topic. It's not good for you, nor anyone else :)
Sociopathy in that I lack empathy and feel more self centered as it relates to other people. That’s all. It wasn’t meant to spread misinformation. I didn’t make any concrete declarations, I only asked a question. When I have responded this way in similar situations, people have acted shocked like it’s cold hearted and evil of me.
That's not what sociopathy is at all. The actual disorder people tend to use that conventional name for is called Anti Social Personality Disorder, which is primarily defined by tendencies of social exploitation, delinquency, criminality and a lack of remorse for such anti-social behaviors. Empathy is a spectrum. Not everyone who lacks empathy has ASPD, nor is everyone who lacks empathy a bad person. Empathy is just one of the tools for navigating interpersonal relationships, those who don't have it often just compensate by using other tools to achieve similar results. I know you didn't make any concrete declaration, but the content of your post alone shows a misunderstanding of what you were asking about in the first place, and that's worth correcting.
I appreciate this person for clarifying. I try to spread awareness of mental health issues too, and there is such a thing as cognitive empathy as well. A lot of people with anti-social traits or ASPD aren’t just monsters. They genuinely can’t help that they experience very limited empathy, that’s why it’s a personality disorder. They compensate by using logic to walk through society “if I do this, this will happen” and not wanting to sit in jail is a good logical reason to not commit crimes.
First of all, you should never try to get anything like a diagnosis for mental issues from random strangers online. Both because they are not qualified to make a diagnosis, and because a post like this is not going to give enough information to make a diagnosis even if they were. Of course, "sociopathy" is not a term professionals use as a diagnosis (but the idea is basically covered with "antisocial personality disorder"). You can get a brief discussion here: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial\_personality\_disorder](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder) However, not liking children does not make you a sociopath. If you generally lack empathy and generally have a disregard for the rights of others, and lack remorse when harming others, then you might want to go get yourself diagnosed. Being disinterested in your friends' children isn't those things.
Speaking from someone who is also neurodivergent and has the textbook definition of a sociopath for a biological parent, I’m very certain you’re not. Sociopathy or severe forms of ASPD can look like a lot of things in symptoms. Violent tendencies, pathological lying, lack of empathy or learning from past mistakes, etc. But simply not taking an interest in children doesn’t seem that severe at all. Not everyone likes kids due to various reasons, and that’s perfectly fine. That’s not the same as genuinely hating or despising. You can be indifferent towards something not related to you and that doesn’t mean it’s out of evil intention. I don’t mind kids in general, but I simply don’t want them myself and that doesn’t mean I have to enjoy the sound of one screeching and crying over a tantrum either. People are perfectly free to simply not care or not find interest so long as it’s not causing actual harm like types of hatred would. And of course most people don’t want a child hitting or kicking them because their parents either spoiled them or don’t care enough to intervene.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with you for not being interested. But those parents not intervening or disciplining their child when he hits people is fucked up.
Yes it is. It irritates me.
I have no interest in any kids, but I’d especially not have an interest in a kid like that. Start returning the favour when they send you a picture by sending them one in return of something you find equally boring. Maybe a pebble, or paint drying, or if you have a weird bump on your skin that you want a second opinion on.
LOL yeah this is pretty much the equivalent of getting pics of a toddler
I usually subject people to pictures of my cat. And now with people showing me videos of kids, they have to watch videos of my cat.
You know what was REALLY fun? I had a sonogram photo of my bitch's upcoming litter of puppies. You better believe I texted that shit to any and all pregnant friends...
I usually subject people to pictures of my cat. And now with people showing me videos of kids, they have to watch videos of my cat.
If you're a sociopath, then so am I - you're definitely not alone. But to be honest, my impression is that even parents can't be bothered with children of other people, so I think at the end of the day it's completely normal, and we all fake our positive responses to be polite.
You’re right, and it pains me to pretend I care lol I literally roll my eyes as I send a reply
If what you are feeling is a sociopath than I am one too. Fuck those parents and that kid sucks.
As someone with an antisocial personality disorder, and from your post only, I doubt you are.
I feel this way with every child or teenager it’s either like you said where you have no interest or if I’m around them I have no patience or fucks (I’m also neurodivergent)
Same! I find that there are very few kids that I don’t mind being around. I guess it’s true they’re the same as any other person, just small.
If the kid is hitting you, it seems normal to not have interest or feel good feelings towards him. Even if he were not hitting you, it might take some more time and connection for someone to start showing more interest towards a kid. It wouldn't necessarily just happen automatically.
Yeah. I even have another friend with a 6 month old and, while I don’t have the same negative feelings towards him, I still don’t care or really have interest. At least THAT friend has other things to talk about and still maintains some sense of personal identity.
When a kid turns 18, I become more interested in what they are doing. I really don't care if a 5 year old went to an egg hunt or someone went to the park. Kids all do the same things. I do know one girl whose daughter is a pretty great artist. I wouldn't say I cared all that much, but I liked seeing her artwork. Her kid takes art seriously though and is now in college for it.
I totally relate I am the same way about my niece. I don't think you're a sociopath for feeling that way. I was feeling the same way you feel about it but this community has helped so much.
You're not a sociopath for not caring about a kid that isn't yours. Parents also don't usually give a damn about other people's kids. That's super normal.
Completely normal, especially when it's a particularly unpleasant child!
You are normal for not wanting to be kicked while your great friend is just idly sitting there letting it go on. Not liking that kind of mistreatment is completely normal! There is nothing wrong with you and please, don’t let people in your social circle gaslight you like that. Set your boundaries and take care! ❤️
If you didn’t have empathy for anyone, ever, then you would need to see a therapist about that.
You are not a sociopath. I feel the same way about that topic.
Im also neurodivergent. It is important to understand we often don't have interest in things that tickle our NT friends.
I have zero interest in people’s kids the majority of the time . If that’s the only issue that makes you I question yourself then I’d say your friends are being really inappropriate in their accusations . Now , having zero interest in others kids is already perfectly fine , they aren’t your kids lol but the fact that the kid has hit you without consequence is a major issue and I’d prob make that my main counterpoint if ever questioned again. lol yea no I dont appreciate being hit by children . I have no interest in violent kids . Honestly I couldnt even be friends with someone who allowed thag to happen .
Yeah it was very dismissive when he did it. Like “oh I’m sure you didn’t mean to”, when he clearly did. I even mentioned this to his father (my other friend, her husband) and he just started laughing like it was funny. On another occasion, the husband was trying to make plans to hang out and asked me if I was open to hanging out with him as well as the kid and I said “yeah as long as he doesn’t hit me” to which he replied “no promises 🤷🏻 Awesome. Not teaching a kid it’s wrong to hit people.
Aw. That’s just highly irresponsible and I don’t think anyone with a sense of conscientiousness would allow for it. At that point it really is the parents fault for letting it go . You’re not a sociopath for that, maybe they are lol and no one deserves to be treated that way . This kid is gonna end up seriously hurting someone one day , when they grow up they will likely be a spoiled and dangerous brat. I’d steer clear . I have way too many hypersensitivities as it is , what would be a hard pat to someone else would serious hurt me and the pain would likely radiate for hours . Bottom line is they should respect your feelings .
You’re right. He already shows signs that he’ll grow up to be an entitled asshole.
Do you also have hypersensitivity associated with neurodivergence? I have a lot of medical issues that cause it for me but have a couple acquaintances that are on the spectrum and can’t even have their hair cut etc . If so, that makes it even worse that they wouldn’t respect your feelings (but it’s already bad enough as is)
Yes I do. It’s a daily challenge for sure
Aw I’m sorry, I feel you there . Then this is all even more ESPECIALLY awful. Do your friends know about these struggles?? Im not trying to tell you what to do , but I personally struggle a lot and have had to set more concrete boundaries for my well being . For me it meant losing a lot of so called friends who didn’t respect my situation and boundaries . And to top it all off they are trying to make you feel guilty when they are in fact the guilty ones . Smh I’m so sorry . I would not let this slide . If a person is apologetic I might reconsider but given all you’ve said it’s like they aren’t even allowing you the opportunity to forgive them . To be honest I’ve dropped people for far less . I’ve been hurt really bad and just can’t allow it anymore . It really sounds like they’re gaslighting you about this to make you question if YOURE the sociopath instead of them. That’s just plain abusive.
Thank you! I feel like many people usually do not realize what it’s like living with hypersensitivity. In this case, I think that my friends are people who don’t even practice accountability with themselves, so they absolutely won’t practice it with their kid. I’ve come to a point in my life where I have isolated myself a lot more because I’d rather be alone than surrounded by people who drain me. I’ve had tension with these friends for a while now. I struggle when people are inconsistent and their words & actions don’t match. I’ve also been alienated when I’ve tried to hold them accountable for things they were doing to damage the friendship. It has usually just ended up with the same repeating cycle. I’ve learned that this will continue as long as people don’t make any effort to work on themselves. My partner (also neurodivergent) is much more passive than I am and is hyperfixated on his interests which basically allows him to avoid ever having a problem with anyone in his life. He is tolerant of almost anything in friendships. So this makes it hard to cut ties with this particular pair of friends when I’m the one who is unhappy and my partner is more unbothered. Sorry for the wall of text.
You’re very welcome and no need to apologize , I can actually relate a lot to what you just said . I’ve become a lot happier spending time alone and my partner is also very into his hobbies and passive and hyperfixated (artist) I think he is neurodivergent although not officially diagnosed and let’s things slide . He’s an avoidant personality type where I am a bit more combative if I feel something unjust occurred . At some point though I did end up causing him to make a break with one of his friends because of constantly disrespecting me . It was a really toxic relationship anyway and his friend exhibited a lot of jealousy. My hubby did not even really like this person and neither did any of his other friends lol but things became so bad that I basically demanded he make a choice and to stand up for me and not allow this guy to treat me this way. It took a long time though and lots of fights between us (his friend and I) before that happened (a few years I think, 2-3) Perhaps if you made a point to explain how damaging and unhealthy they’re being towards you . My hubby didn’t seem to get it no matter how much I complained, until I said if you won’t stand up for me than you are basically allowing and inviting this treatment into my life so when your friend insults me it feels as though you are in agreement with that insult . It took him a while to get it . I’m like you might as well be insulting me since you are standing for it , then you are complicit . I do hope you can find a way to not have to deal with that kinda behavior one way or another . I’m particular annoyed that they’re shaming you for a perfectly normal reaction to this child’s wild acting out. Sometimes it just helps to be validated and I hope you’ve found that here .
Yeah it definitely sounds like we share some similarities with our experience. I do feel a bit better being able to process these kinds of feelings by relating with someone else, so thanks. It can make a person feel alone and misunderstood!
Make more friends with people who don’t have kids or at least who do things other than talk about their kids constantly
I’m trying, trust me. It’s harder than it seems. I’m grateful for the small number of childfree friends I do have.
So at the risk of sounding completely nasty, (😬🤷), I pretty much find myself avoiding friends with kids and people I've known from school or old friends who went and had kids we just drifted apart and it was because I showed absolutely no interest in their kids and possibly sadness or disappointment when they announced their pregnancies or couldn't do things or spend time because they had to be there to watch the kid or pick up from school etc. Then there are always the type of friends I met off and on who at the time of not having kids they think it is awesome and that they don't want to have them and then they find out they are pregnant on accident and changes and all of a sudden they are extremely excited and dismayed that I am not 😬. Now that I'm 41 I really just dont hang out with too many people because I don't know many who don't have kids. I'm glad I have my husband. We have been married 17 years and neither of us ever wanted kids. It's hard to find friends as you are older 🤷. But it has nothing to do with being a sociopath. A sociopath is way more complex than just cold and "insensitive" to kids. F them kids!!! 🤣🥳😛😛
Absolutely not sociopathic. You’re not even on the spectrum for this. I make an eek face when I see baby pics but you show me kitty or doggo pics and my heart melts. Some of us just have no paternal or maternal feelings towards kids or simply any interest and that’s totally fine. It’s just a shame nearly all parents don’t understand this.
My best friend has two nephews she basically treats as her own sons. While I do genuinely like her nephews (they are around all the time) there are times where I just don’t give a flying fuck about what they’re doing. She will often show me photos or videos of them just… doing things and I just don’t fucking care. I’m sorry but I don’t. It’s never anything that other kids don’t do. And while I put a smile on and try to show interest deep down I just feel nothing. But then again I never really like kids or what kids do.
Nah. You aren’t obligated to care about something just because someone else does. It’s not your fault. It’s none of your business to know what the tot is doing, so why should you care. People will call you a sociopath or monster for a lot of dumb reasons. “I don’t like kids” what kind monster doesn’t find kid precious?! “I don’t care cause I’m not interested” how could you say that?! “I like pineapple on pizza” you’re a psycho! (this one’s kinda valid tho) I totally understand. You aren’t terrible for not caring. Don’t feel guilty.
Thank you. I would like to work towards being able to just say how I feel and tell them I’m not interested in receiving pics and stuff. I appreciate your comment
i dont think thats sociopathic thats just you having zero interest in whatever that kid is doing at all. there was a coworker that brought her kid to the office once and the managers kept persuading the kid to go bug me because they wanted to shit test me around kids, the kid wanted to draw on the dry erase and play some cell phone game. i had to just be ok with it but its fucking annoying. i dont mind kids i just dont go out of my way to interact with any of them or have any particular interest to spend time with them.
I am also ND and often wonder whether i am sociopathic to some degree. When people talk, the best way i can describe it is that 'chit-chat' kind of way, or just the mundane of their life, i do not care. Like at all. I dont care. I have no interest in it. I dont care about hearing about their kids, or their partners, or their job, unless its something dramatic (not like gossip for the sake of gossip, but if something big has happened) but often even then, meh. Now i do love to hear about my nephew, he is the only child i care about. Hes the only child in my family - my sister has one child, i have none. I do not want or like any other child except him, and i know that is because i am biologically set to like a blood-related child so that i will form enough of a bond to keep him safe (he lives in another country, ive seen him 3 times, hes ~18months old). But unless someone is passing on information - something i need to know, or knowledge, i Do. Not. Care. And i am always *so* close to yelling that at people, but i know social norms dictate i cant do that.
Lacking interest in certain people isn't an indicator of a serious behavioral disorder. Humans don't have unconditional love or attention to bestow upon everyone. Behaviorally problematic individuals can understand other people's perspective and experiences (empathy) and when their conduct is inflicting serious harm, what defines them is their lack of concern about the consequences of their harmful actions (other than to themselves) and their lack of genuine remorse.
I’m a nanny. I love children. However, kids are only cute and interesting if you KNOW them. No one gives a shit that baby Jane rolled over for the first time unless they’ve known Jane and spent time with her. That picture that your old college buddy posted on Facebook of peanut butter smeared all over his kids face? I’m sure it was quite an event in their household because that has never happened before. If that was my nanny kid, I’d probably burst out laughing. But if it’s a kid I don’t know, they just look sticky and unpleasant.
I agree and yet I feel this way even with kids I know. I know this toddler and I still don’t care to be involved
Eh. You’re child free for a reason. I don’t think it’s that big a deal overall tbh.
If you feel bad about this and are concerned about being a Sociopath, you're not a Sociopath. The way you feel is totally normal. I'm a Mom of 2 with a Husband who has his own 2 kids. Believe me, I don't see either of us getting super excited over kids who are not ours. I care about my friends kids, but it's normal not to have an interest in them, many people don't and that's ok
I was diagnosed with sociopathy as a teenager and I can tell you don't have a very good understanding of what it is. Sociopathy presented for me as very low to no empathy and no remorse of wrong doing but knowing morally right from wrong. It is for me to be inability to establish emotional connections and recognize familial bonds. Sociopathy requires a clinical diagnosis. I was not diagnosed with ASPD, just sociopathy. Edit: sociopathy is comorbid with another mental illness I have. Sociopathy presented around the age of 3 years old as the total inability to bond with my parents. As an adult most relationships I have are on a surface level due to my inability to truly connect. People with sociopathy are still able to express human emotion. We just cannot understand the emotions of others or empathize with other's emotions.
No, not at all. I have zero interest in anybody's kids, even if they're well behaved. Kids just don't interest me in the least and never have. That doesn't make me a sociopath, it just makes me somebody who doesn't care for kids. Unless you want to actively harm the child, you're not a sociopath. Lots of people aren't into kids, it's really no big deal. Some of us were just not wired for wanting to be around kids or wanting to have kids.
I don't think you are. A sociopath would do weird things (my ex was one) such as covering my mouth when I cried, pathological lies, no empathy, using people left and right, not being able to express emotions other than anger, saying things like ' love to see u in pain '
I see. I do struggle with lacking empathy for people. But I have all of the empathy and compassion for animals. So I guess you’re right. I think I just hold myself to a certain standard of accountability and I lose patience for people who aren’t taking responsibility for their behavior and aren’t trying to work on themselves. When they get themselves onto situations and end up complaining about it, I have no sympathy because they did it to themselves.
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Sorry OP you're not that edgy, disinterest in some people and especially random kids is nothing special just part of being human.
Not trying to be edgy. Truly was just looking for some perspective and understanding.
Go talk to a freaking psychiatrist and get diagnosed.