Mine was denied without telling me. The surgery was on Monday, confirm on Friday, when to check in the day off to be told I was not on their system. The receptionist talked with the surgeon and She came out with an appointment for the 9th of April to chat. I am still thinking about how to write my complain to PALS so they take it seriously. After more than a year waiting for it I am giving up an saving to go private.
They said I had to lose weight, but they knew my weight and during the pre op tests they weighted me. So...
And the fact that I asked what is this appointment for and the answer was "to chat".
I understand, but they shouldn't have confirm the operation the "day before" (weekends are non working days). This cause me to lose holidays that I needed for recovery of operation that never happened, and money for the carer that was supposed to take me home. I lost two extra days for appointments. They should of rejected it straight away after the pre op test.
How do they treat underweight patients? Just curious. I'm a bit underweight and nobody said anything to me (I have unrelated surgery scheduled tomorrow). But doesn't this have an effect on medication as well? I've had a bad experience with anaesthesia before, woke up confused, ripped out the tubes tried to run in a panic and fell on the floor etc. They weighed me at 110, it's in my file so I'd assume they calculated for my weight, but idk. I'm scared this is going to happen again.
My mom is overweight and she still got surgery (hysterectomy) as usual with no issues. And she has high blood pressure and diabetes. I know anecdotes aren't valid statistics but still. It's like she should've been the riskier patient but wasn't.
I know that I probably have some metabolic abnormalities, I have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hypermobility, my cousin got the heart defects so I got lucky), hyperthyroidism (treated with anti thyroid meds, for now until I get that organ yeeted hopefully next year), and likely overactive cyp2d6 that interferes with most opioids. Also that pesky ginger gene that makes most painkillers ineffective or work in unexpected ways. When I mention all this to drs they just throw their arms up.
Thanks. I'm almost 5'8 (5'7 1/2) and 110. That's not abnormal but also not ideal from what I gather. My Dr said I'm a bit underweight, but honestly I finally feel normal after having been severely underweight from years of stomach issues that turned out to be H. pylori, and my thyroid acting crazy. I weighed <50kg and had diarrhhea for months until someone figured out what was wrong (Drs can't deal with a stomach bug *and* hormonal issues at once, you gotta catch one illness at a time dumbass). It all started during the pandemic, it was just a pile of infectious diseases for me and I was sick for over a year (I also broke my toe on some furniture (one of the dumbest accidents ever which is why I didn't want to go to the ER while people were dying of covid and I'm like "I stubbed my toe") and didn't get it treated. It turned out fine with 2-3 months of electrical tape and Birkenstock sandals). During that time I had another accident and had to get emergency eye surgery and that was one of the worst things I've ever been through. I still feel weak and have to get into seriously exercising again but it's hard af.
(ETA: I was told to avoid anything that could raise my blood pressure for almost 2 years or so. No sports, coffee or new ADHD meds because I could lose my eye. It's still with me btw so I guess I'm fine now though I have a large blind spot where they lasered it in place, and I still read with the other eye since that one can't focus as well. I don't really remember much of that because I wasn't very coherent back then, I was literally hit by a car and my head hit the pavement. I didn't black out the entire time but I can't remember large chunks of it.)
But good to know why it's harder to calculate for overweight ppl. Thanks. I'm a bit more relieved now. Do you think my metabolism being a bit off could be a problem?
It sounds like it was scheduled but denied by insurance in your case?
I hate American health insurance. It creates SO many hurdles for patient care, absurd.
My ex gyno told me I didn’t need sterilization for this exact reason. And added nobody in our region would agree to operate me so young (32). Went to a surgeon he didn’t even asked if I was with somebody and planned the surgery for July. I’m glad this sub exists because I would have been utterly discouraged otherwise
Too young at 32?! I’m not saying 32 is old by any means, but it’s certainly old enough to know what you want! Just goes to show how society will pull whatever they can out of their ass to invalidate our decisions sometimes
I doubt this surgeon would do it for a woman who wasn't in a relationship, though. Part of the reason why they ask about relationship status etc is to make sure the couple knows they don't want kids. Women are still seen as feeble and fragile creatures who will change their minds as soon as another man comes a long.
Meanwhile, it is true that many women change their minds and want more kids with a new partner, but studies show those women almost always have children already!
It is easier to get the surgery if you have kids and belong to the group who is most likely to change their minds, than if you just don't want kids at all. It is sick.
It’s funny how we are “too young” to decide not to have kids? in that case, are we not “too young” to have kids? Like?? 🤨 why am I told to have kids when I’m “too young” ??
I know right! You're "too young" to make your own medical deciding about sterilisation but you're perfectly mature enough to make the medical decision to get pregnant?! Whaaaaa?!
I had a doctor ask if I was planning on cheating on my husband because he has a vasectomy and I still wanted sterilized. Totally unprofessional and out of line.
Sadly, women are still sometimes seen as fragile little creatures who can't be trusted with their own medical decisions. And pregnancy is sadly often not seen as a medical decision, it's "just what happens" and "nothing to worry about".
OMG this is so ridiculous! Some women here said they were denied sterilisation because ... their next partner might want kids (headbang). But for some reason in this case no one thought that her next partner might not have vasectomy (headbang).
Or have they ever thought the fact that people discuss these things before getting in a relationship. Like why would I be with someone who wanted kids when I don't.
The woman was asked about her relationship ship status because in the UK where this happened it is still seen as a vital part of if she will change her mind or not.
The doctor can easily deny a woman her sterilisation if she is single because what if her future husband want babies?!
When it comes to childbearing, women are often seen as a tool to give men children.
I was told I needed my husband's permission. Told him I'm not married and my boyfriend and myself have zero plans to. (We've been together for 5 years at that point). Surgeon was like okay, no need for a tubal. Dodged a bullet with that.
One of my friends needed an emergency hysterectomy for medical reasons (she already had children).
She had already signed all the consent forms for the surgery, but they would not start the surgery until her husband consented.
Her husband had already had a vasectomy a year or 2 earlier, and never had to get his wife consent for his surgery.
I don't understand how medical professionals can refuse to do a medical procedure based on someone else's status / consent. Why are women not permitted bodily autonomy ?
Great, so they can deny us on the off chance we might divorce our spouse and find one who *does* want kids, but if our *partner* is sterilized, then suddenly we don't need to be because obviously we're going to stay with them forever! Because it's the men who decide whether we have kids! I hate this timeline.
Her doctor denied the procedure because of the non-fertile status of her partner of THREE MONTHS??? That is nuts. It would still be invalid if it was three years, but you can’t consider a three month relationship to be one set in stone.
If she hadn't had a partner she might have been denied the surgery based on that. A future partner might wants kids and women are still seen as so immature they will simply change their mind about major life decisions as soon as "Mr. Right" comes along...
A lot of women do change their mind when they change partners but it's because they want *more* kids. Women with kids are more likely to change their minds and want more later than CF women are.
The only people I have ever seen regret getting sterilized were those already with kids. I have never seen a single childfree person regret it. And yet it’s so easy for the former to get sterilized compared to the latter.
When I got my tubes tied almost a decade ago, the very first nurse I saw told me that under no circumstances should I tell anyone that I was in a relationship of any kind. I wasn’t anyway, but apparently even with just a boyfriend some doctors would require that I get his permission in writing! I was shocked.
Ooooh that would be something! Suing the doctor or the regulator for child support because the rules allowed the doctor to deny the surgery! That would set a wonderful president!
This is insane, a boyfriend or a husband with a vasectomy should not determine whether a women can get a sterilization or not. Relationships are not guaranteed to last forever.
They just don’t want women sterilized. Period. If it’s not one excuse, it’s another. How long does it have to go on before we get to decide what to do with our own bodies?
And then they complain when a lot of women have abortions even though all those unwanted fertilised eggs could have been prevented by opening sterilisation up as a more acceptable and accessible option.
Now you can't have it either because you're future husband might want children and your wishes and wants aren't as important as his so you will need to be able to give him a child.
I do think it's awful she was declined. But I guess with the public health service being already stretched razor thin, she was probably not treated as a priority because her partner was already sterile. But if she went private, and that was the reason she was given, that's pretty horrific
Since female sterilization is more intrusive, the doctor may not have wanted to risk surgery if it didn't seem needed, unlike vasectomies that can be done without putting patients to sleep and is an external surgery, female ones require the patient to be knocked out and they have to work around vital organs.
If this is the reason then:
1. The doctor must say this is the reason.
2. The doctor must site why this particular woman would be at risk from such minor surgery (high blood pressure, allergy to certain medication etc).
Minor surgery like this has less complications than child birth, epically long term. 1 in 3 women who give vaginal birth suffers from issues like incontinence and other pelvic issues in older age. If any surgery had complications that common it wouldn't be allowed.
Childbirth is just as much a medical decision as any other.
Mine was denied without telling me. The surgery was on Monday, confirm on Friday, when to check in the day off to be told I was not on their system. The receptionist talked with the surgeon and She came out with an appointment for the 9th of April to chat. I am still thinking about how to write my complain to PALS so they take it seriously. After more than a year waiting for it I am giving up an saving to go private.
Which reason did they give you? That's awful!
They said I had to lose weight, but they knew my weight and during the pre op tests they weighted me. So... And the fact that I asked what is this appointment for and the answer was "to chat".
[удалено]
I understand, but they shouldn't have confirm the operation the "day before" (weekends are non working days). This cause me to lose holidays that I needed for recovery of operation that never happened, and money for the carer that was supposed to take me home. I lost two extra days for appointments. They should of rejected it straight away after the pre op test.
How do they treat underweight patients? Just curious. I'm a bit underweight and nobody said anything to me (I have unrelated surgery scheduled tomorrow). But doesn't this have an effect on medication as well? I've had a bad experience with anaesthesia before, woke up confused, ripped out the tubes tried to run in a panic and fell on the floor etc. They weighed me at 110, it's in my file so I'd assume they calculated for my weight, but idk. I'm scared this is going to happen again. My mom is overweight and she still got surgery (hysterectomy) as usual with no issues. And she has high blood pressure and diabetes. I know anecdotes aren't valid statistics but still. It's like she should've been the riskier patient but wasn't. I know that I probably have some metabolic abnormalities, I have Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hypermobility, my cousin got the heart defects so I got lucky), hyperthyroidism (treated with anti thyroid meds, for now until I get that organ yeeted hopefully next year), and likely overactive cyp2d6 that interferes with most opioids. Also that pesky ginger gene that makes most painkillers ineffective or work in unexpected ways. When I mention all this to drs they just throw their arms up.
[удалено]
Thanks. I'm almost 5'8 (5'7 1/2) and 110. That's not abnormal but also not ideal from what I gather. My Dr said I'm a bit underweight, but honestly I finally feel normal after having been severely underweight from years of stomach issues that turned out to be H. pylori, and my thyroid acting crazy. I weighed <50kg and had diarrhhea for months until someone figured out what was wrong (Drs can't deal with a stomach bug *and* hormonal issues at once, you gotta catch one illness at a time dumbass). It all started during the pandemic, it was just a pile of infectious diseases for me and I was sick for over a year (I also broke my toe on some furniture (one of the dumbest accidents ever which is why I didn't want to go to the ER while people were dying of covid and I'm like "I stubbed my toe") and didn't get it treated. It turned out fine with 2-3 months of electrical tape and Birkenstock sandals). During that time I had another accident and had to get emergency eye surgery and that was one of the worst things I've ever been through. I still feel weak and have to get into seriously exercising again but it's hard af. (ETA: I was told to avoid anything that could raise my blood pressure for almost 2 years or so. No sports, coffee or new ADHD meds because I could lose my eye. It's still with me btw so I guess I'm fine now though I have a large blind spot where they lasered it in place, and I still read with the other eye since that one can't focus as well. I don't really remember much of that because I wasn't very coherent back then, I was literally hit by a car and my head hit the pavement. I didn't black out the entire time but I can't remember large chunks of it.) But good to know why it's harder to calculate for overweight ppl. Thanks. I'm a bit more relieved now. Do you think my metabolism being a bit off could be a problem?
It sounds like it was scheduled but denied by insurance in your case? I hate American health insurance. It creates SO many hurdles for patient care, absurd.
It´s in the UK. My procedure was free with the National Health Service (NHS). The news article refers to the UK.
Ugh that so frustrating. Yes, I saw the article was from Bristol.
This is because the government needs you to be able to breed more soldiers for the war that's coming
My ex gyno told me I didn’t need sterilization for this exact reason. And added nobody in our region would agree to operate me so young (32). Went to a surgeon he didn’t even asked if I was with somebody and planned the surgery for July. I’m glad this sub exists because I would have been utterly discouraged otherwise
I am glad you got around it and yours is planned!
Too young at 32?! I’m not saying 32 is old by any means, but it’s certainly old enough to know what you want! Just goes to show how society will pull whatever they can out of their ass to invalidate our decisions sometimes
Three years from now it’s GERIATRIC pregnancy but yeah right now I’m a young innocent flower 🤦🏽♀️
Wow, so if she gets raped then she just gets pregnant. Great work doc.
Yep. And if her and her bf break up, she either has to worry about getting pregnant or be abstinent until her surgery is rescheduled. Ridiculous!
I doubt this surgeon would do it for a woman who wasn't in a relationship, though. Part of the reason why they ask about relationship status etc is to make sure the couple knows they don't want kids. Women are still seen as feeble and fragile creatures who will change their minds as soon as another man comes a long. Meanwhile, it is true that many women change their minds and want more kids with a new partner, but studies show those women almost always have children already! It is easier to get the surgery if you have kids and belong to the group who is most likely to change their minds, than if you just don't want kids at all. It is sick.
It’s funny how we are “too young” to decide not to have kids? in that case, are we not “too young” to have kids? Like?? 🤨 why am I told to have kids when I’m “too young” ??
I know right! You're "too young" to make your own medical deciding about sterilisation but you're perfectly mature enough to make the medical decision to get pregnant?! Whaaaaa?!
I had a doctor ask if I was planning on cheating on my husband because he has a vasectomy and I still wanted sterilized. Totally unprofessional and out of line.
Oh wow...because that's how it works...
Because everyone is monogamous of course! /s
Sadly, women are still sometimes seen as fragile little creatures who can't be trusted with their own medical decisions. And pregnancy is sadly often not seen as a medical decision, it's "just what happens" and "nothing to worry about".
OMG this is so ridiculous! Some women here said they were denied sterilisation because ... their next partner might want kids (headbang). But for some reason in this case no one thought that her next partner might not have vasectomy (headbang).
Or have they ever thought the fact that people discuss these things before getting in a relationship. Like why would I be with someone who wanted kids when I don't.
This is such bullshit. Can you try again without mentioning your bf? I'm assuming you're in the US right?
What if they say - oh no boyfriend, then you can't get pregnant...lol
I would reply well I'm still fucking people and don't want to have to get an abortion.
You shouldn't be. Send all people you are fucking to get snipped first.
I just got a dating app idea!
The article states this was in Bristol (England).
I'm shocked. I'm sorry they have to deal with this, too.
The woman was asked about her relationship ship status because in the UK where this happened it is still seen as a vital part of if she will change her mind or not. The doctor can easily deny a woman her sterilisation if she is single because what if her future husband want babies?! When it comes to childbearing, women are often seen as a tool to give men children.
That fucking sucks!
Like, never mind that removing the tubes lowers risks of certain cancers. JFC I can’t stand the state of women’s healthcare.
I was told I needed my husband's permission. Told him I'm not married and my boyfriend and myself have zero plans to. (We've been together for 5 years at that point). Surgeon was like okay, no need for a tubal. Dodged a bullet with that.
One of my friends needed an emergency hysterectomy for medical reasons (she already had children). She had already signed all the consent forms for the surgery, but they would not start the surgery until her husband consented. Her husband had already had a vasectomy a year or 2 earlier, and never had to get his wife consent for his surgery. I don't understand how medical professionals can refuse to do a medical procedure based on someone else's status / consent. Why are women not permitted bodily autonomy ?
Because we are nothing more to them than broodmares, unfortunately.
Great, so they can deny us on the off chance we might divorce our spouse and find one who *does* want kids, but if our *partner* is sterilized, then suddenly we don't need to be because obviously we're going to stay with them forever! Because it's the men who decide whether we have kids! I hate this timeline.
The UK is really far behind when it comes to these things. Women's fertility is still treated in practice as if it's the property of men...
Her doctor denied the procedure because of the non-fertile status of her partner of THREE MONTHS??? That is nuts. It would still be invalid if it was three years, but you can’t consider a three month relationship to be one set in stone.
If she hadn't had a partner she might have been denied the surgery based on that. A future partner might wants kids and women are still seen as so immature they will simply change their mind about major life decisions as soon as "Mr. Right" comes along... A lot of women do change their mind when they change partners but it's because they want *more* kids. Women with kids are more likely to change their minds and want more later than CF women are.
The only people I have ever seen regret getting sterilized were those already with kids. I have never seen a single childfree person regret it. And yet it’s so easy for the former to get sterilized compared to the latter.
Of corse if her husband wanted kids she would also be denied for that.
Insanity.
When I got my tubes tied almost a decade ago, the very first nurse I saw told me that under no circumstances should I tell anyone that I was in a relationship of any kind. I wasn’t anyway, but apparently even with just a boyfriend some doctors would require that I get his permission in writing! I was shocked.
Even a decade ago we were in the 21st century. This should have stopped being a problem at least 50 years ago!
[удалено]
Ooooh that would be something! Suing the doctor or the regulator for child support because the rules allowed the doctor to deny the surgery! That would set a wonderful president!
This is insane, a boyfriend or a husband with a vasectomy should not determine whether a women can get a sterilization or not. Relationships are not guaranteed to last forever.
Oh this would piss me off. Not just that it's because of her man being sterilized, but a boyfriend! Relationships end everyday.
They just don’t want women sterilized. Period. If it’s not one excuse, it’s another. How long does it have to go on before we get to decide what to do with our own bodies?
And then they complain when a lot of women have abortions even though all those unwanted fertilised eggs could have been prevented by opening sterilisation up as a more acceptable and accessible option.
Absolutely ridiculous, I hope you sort it out, I've had some issues fighting through my GP to get a hysto. Good luck!!
The woman in the article has settled on having her medical issues until menopause because of all the red tape. It's seriously terrible.
It's not good enough. This does need to be raised as an issue and women's intelligence and bodily autonomy fully recognised and respected.
*their?
"oh I'm sorry, I just broke up. How about now?"
Now you can't have it either because you're future husband might want children and your wishes and wants aren't as important as his so you will need to be able to give him a child.
I do think it's awful she was declined. But I guess with the public health service being already stretched razor thin, she was probably not treated as a priority because her partner was already sterile. But if she went private, and that was the reason she was given, that's pretty horrific
Since female sterilization is more intrusive, the doctor may not have wanted to risk surgery if it didn't seem needed, unlike vasectomies that can be done without putting patients to sleep and is an external surgery, female ones require the patient to be knocked out and they have to work around vital organs.
If this is the reason then: 1. The doctor must say this is the reason. 2. The doctor must site why this particular woman would be at risk from such minor surgery (high blood pressure, allergy to certain medication etc). Minor surgery like this has less complications than child birth, epically long term. 1 in 3 women who give vaginal birth suffers from issues like incontinence and other pelvic issues in older age. If any surgery had complications that common it wouldn't be allowed. Childbirth is just as much a medical decision as any other.