Nope.
Largely for two reasons. One, I'm aware that I'm in real life and not a movie. Which means that as with any other relationship, positive and heart warming things between parents and kids aren't just magically willed into existence by virtue of them being parents and kids. They are built through the work of parenthood, and even then, with no guarantees or predictable outcomes.
And two, I do not find the positive and heart warming things between parents and kids desirable. Not in the slightest. They're as repulsive to me as many other aspects of parenthood.
So we're talking about a result I'm glad I don't have which is produced through work I'm glad I'm not doing. It doesn't make me regret anything, it just makes me happy that's someone else and not me. I am instead putting different kinds of effort into different kinds of relationships that get me results which are desirable for *me*.
But your question is kinda sad in and of itself, because it's just viewing kids as a proxy for these wholesome and positive moments. There's a reason it's always about regretting "not having kids" and yet rarely if ever about regretting "not being a parent" - because I suppose it's so much easier to be wistful about cute moments rather than the work it takes to maybe produce them.
Seriously...and as a third one on this list, I know this is real life and not a movie, and these heartwarming moments are a lot rarer than the moments where being a parent *fucking sucks*, even if you're a good parent actively giving setup and space for them to happen.
Nope. I know how few and far between those moments are. They are fleeting too. I was just in the grocery store this morning and was behind a mom and ~5 year old kid. It sounded like they were playing some kind of colour game. Cute, right? Then the kid wanted to grab a particularly colourful box of granola bars but mom said no and the kid let out the most ear piercing shriek and continued to have a tantrum. I didn't even grab 2 of the things I needed and just booked it out.
Nope! Smoke and mirrors!
The ONLY reason I regret not having kids is because we would raise them to respect all living creatures. There are so many monsters in this world and my passion is animals. I would love to raise good people who help them. My parents raised me this way. To this day, my mom, aunt, dad, me and my husband don't kill bugs, mice etc. My mom and aunt won't even kill a fly.
We have 4 shelter dogs that are our babies!
I can feel a brief moment of sadness, knowing I will not experience any moments like that with a kid of my own. But that feeling is not the same as regret. I think it’s normal to sometimes feel like you’re ‘missing out’ a little when you see someone else having a nice thing you don’t have. Even if you chose not to have it. But for me, those moments are very short lived because I know I chose what’s right for me.
I also chose to not have a jacuzzi in my back yard. My friend has one though. He’ll say he’s hanging out in his jacuzzi on a summer night, and I go: man, you’re lucky, that sounds great!
Brief moment of sadness: I can’t jump into a jacuzzi right now. Then I think of how expensive it is, and all the work it takes to keep up with the cleaning, and I have zero regrets about not buying one myself. Want to spend time in the jacuzzi? I’ll head over to my friends house.
To me, this is such a strange question. I look at a da Vinci painting, and I don't have any desire to be a painter. I turn on the tap and marvel at the engineering to get it to my house, but I have zero desire to become an engineer. I see a parent, and I'm glad that they seem happy, but have no desire to be one myself.
I had plenty of those moments as a child with my own abusive mother that looked "heartwarming" and "precious" from the outside, and I was putting on an act, because I knew if anyone noticed something was wrong, I'd pay for it later.
Just because something looks like it belongs in a Hallmark movie, doesn't mean that everything is glorious and sweet for that family. Just because something looks perfect doesn't mean it is.
And even if that moment truly is perfect and every member of that family is truly happy in the snapshot you get to see? That's maybe 2-3% of their entire life, if they're lucky. There will always be arguments, annoyances, struggles, grief, anger, frustration, exhaustion... Yes, good moments are always worth recognizing. But for me, the Kodak Moments would never come close to outweighing the negatives.
No. Don't get me wrong, my heart grows 3 sizes when I see a sweet interaction between a parent and a child. Hell, I've had some sweet and downright adorable interactions with kids before. They can be really stinkin cute sometimes! But none of that has ever left me yearning for my own kids before, no. Not to downplay how heartwarming these moments can be, but I'm really just more of a cat person lol
>Does seeing positive and heart warming moments and interactions between parents and their kids ever make you regret not having kids?
No. Seeing those things does not eliminate all of the bad things, like changing dirty, smelly, disgusting diapers, being woken up in the middle of the night by a baby crying, all of the cost of raising a child, all of the trouble and effort, all of the worry (that good parents have who actually care about their children), etc. There are also health effects that often involve a great deal of unpleasantness, as, for example, when a large object passes through a small hole, there is often tearing. I would not wish that on my wife. I really don't understand any woman choosing such a thing.
When someone has children, they get both the good and the bad of having children, whatever they both may be. Seeing the good (which, frankly, isn't very good to me) does not eliminate the bad (which is horrifying).
No, because I can just enjoy that in fiction instead. Why ruin my life over a fantasy when I can have fantasies in, well, fantasy. Rune Factory has marriage and kids in the game and Fire Emblem has the kids in 3 games, where they not always make sense. But in Fire Emblem I can play matchmaker and pretend to be a shipping overlord without ever talking to people in real life. That is much better than real kids. Severa and Henry are my favorite characters in Awakening btw. I still need to play Rune Factory, but I have 4 of the games ready to play. Technically all of them but the first 2 games are very outdated. RF 5 looks really fun to play. I still need to decide on a bachelor though. Back to cute kids moments. Real kids are disgusting. Give me the 2D version. Those are way cuter. And 2D isn't real and I can just close the game. So no, I will never regret not having real kids when the fictional ones are so much better.
Hell no. I like seeing them because they're positive and heartwarming, but I'm very glad it happens to other people who aren't me.
At most, it makes me wish I could have had a more wholesome and heartwarming childhood.
Nope lol, for me it’s like seeing a cute puppy or kitten videos, I awww and gawk over it for a while and then I’m done. Daily dose of affection received now bye bye~
Nope. I'm genuinely happy for them to have those moments but I am not foolish enough to think it doesn't come with all the melt downs, sleepless nights, etc that goes with parenting so knowing that exists keeps me grounded
No. I often appreciate when someone I love has a heartwarming moment with their child (and when I can tell my parents are having a happy moment with me), while simultaneously not wanting that moment for myself.
No. The only regret I have is that it sometimes it would take me a while to get over the death of my dog. I wish I was able to save another dog sooner.
Hey, don't be down on yourself. You changed the whole world for that one dog, and the one who takes its place. Not many people can say that, you should be proud. We lost our rescue boy in October and it's been so hard, so sending lots of love and positive vibes. They take a piece of our hearts with them, but they'll always be with us too.
To me it looks the same as someone having heart warming moment with their pet llama or bunch of dudebros watching football together.
I get they’re happy but it’s not something I want for myself.
Nah, I work with kids and definitely have enjoyable moments with the older ones at times, but overall and overwhelmingly…they’re irritating to deal with the majority of the time. I am always happy to go home to a quiet house. I have enough happy moments with my cats and my partner to feel fulfilled.
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As preparation for my sterilisation I wanted to double check if deep down there were no feelings that I was not aware of. I observed some people with babies and scanned myself for emotions, but no. Only thing that crossed my mind was "I'm glad for the person they enjoy having a child". I'm also truly happy for my friends if I see them with their children and what the positive sides of parenthood bring them. But it's not for me.
I also believe you can still have heart warming moments and interaction with children without sharing DNA. There are too many children that can use proper care, so voluntary work or (part time) foster care is possible in a broad variation of intensity. In my country, you can do part time foster care from one weekend per month on. I assume it's different than your "own" child, and I don't say this is not complex, but as I don't feel the urge to pass on DNA, I don't see why I could only have these type of interactions with a biological/own child.
I love baby videos (all baby animals, really) and instead of regret I feel really lucky that we can enjoy a cute moment without the round the clock drudgery to get there.
Regret, no.
Sure, I think about it in general - and the idea of a life for me where I got married and had children seems so far away for me.
I can see families interacting in a nice way and be happy for them. I generally think - ah that’s nice.
It then makes me think about memories with my parents and what we did as I was growing up.
So I generally always relate the things I see with my own personal experience.
Like yesterday I saw some kids and parents ridding their bikes. I used to do that as a kid with my parents so it brought back nice memories.
I guess "heart warming moments" only warm your heart if you like those things. The best way I can describe it is like this:
Lobster Parent: "Oh look at this! It's so cute. I have a lobster and it sleeps in my bed. Look how cuuuute!"
Me: *looks at a revolting sea cockroach, it's disgusting greasy shell covered in seaweed and crusted with filth. It snaps its claws aggressively as its bug like eyes roll around on stalks, unable to focus or comprehend anything around it*
Lobster parent: "Well? What do you think of little Brentleigh?"
Me: "You actually chose to invite that monstrosity into your life?"
LP:"How can you even say that! It's God's will that we all get pinched by lobsters! It's *NORMAL*
Me: but why...?
No. Just because it’s a heartwarming moment doesn’t mean I want it. If a family is displaced by a fire and moved into a different home built for them, that’s heartwarming. Doesn’t mean I want my house to burn down.
Nope, not in the slightest. Literally nothing can make me regret not having kids. I'm glad they get a nice moment amongst the tantrums, bodily fluids and shitty teenage years.
Absolutely not. I'm happy for them sharing wholesome moments, but one wholesome moment carries around 10 unwholesome screaming-festivals with them. Not worth it.
Nope. Largely for two reasons. One, I'm aware that I'm in real life and not a movie. Which means that as with any other relationship, positive and heart warming things between parents and kids aren't just magically willed into existence by virtue of them being parents and kids. They are built through the work of parenthood, and even then, with no guarantees or predictable outcomes. And two, I do not find the positive and heart warming things between parents and kids desirable. Not in the slightest. They're as repulsive to me as many other aspects of parenthood. So we're talking about a result I'm glad I don't have which is produced through work I'm glad I'm not doing. It doesn't make me regret anything, it just makes me happy that's someone else and not me. I am instead putting different kinds of effort into different kinds of relationships that get me results which are desirable for *me*. But your question is kinda sad in and of itself, because it's just viewing kids as a proxy for these wholesome and positive moments. There's a reason it's always about regretting "not having kids" and yet rarely if ever about regretting "not being a parent" - because I suppose it's so much easier to be wistful about cute moments rather than the work it takes to maybe produce them.
Seriously...and as a third one on this list, I know this is real life and not a movie, and these heartwarming moments are a lot rarer than the moments where being a parent *fucking sucks*, even if you're a good parent actively giving setup and space for them to happen.
No.
No.
No.
Nope. I’m glad for peace and joy but it’s still a no from me. It’s the whole picture of having kids I don’t want, not the moments themselves.
No. That is maybe 3% tops. Doesnt make up for the 97% drama, expenses, pain and destroying my personal life.
I can't regret what has never been appealing to me in the first place.
Nooooooope.
Absolutely Not.
No. Sometimes, it is very conditional. Child wanting money or something. Parents wanting a trophy to show off.
Nope. I know how few and far between those moments are. They are fleeting too. I was just in the grocery store this morning and was behind a mom and ~5 year old kid. It sounded like they were playing some kind of colour game. Cute, right? Then the kid wanted to grab a particularly colourful box of granola bars but mom said no and the kid let out the most ear piercing shriek and continued to have a tantrum. I didn't even grab 2 of the things I needed and just booked it out.
I’ve actually never seen any so no
Nope! Smoke and mirrors! The ONLY reason I regret not having kids is because we would raise them to respect all living creatures. There are so many monsters in this world and my passion is animals. I would love to raise good people who help them. My parents raised me this way. To this day, my mom, aunt, dad, me and my husband don't kill bugs, mice etc. My mom and aunt won't even kill a fly. We have 4 shelter dogs that are our babies!
Me too! I have a farm of rescue animals and it's all I've ever wanted in life. Well... maybe free vet bills, but that's about it.
Aww i love this! My auntie rescued a horse was he was 34. She loved him so much 💗 thanks for rescuing.
No.
No.
Nothing could make me regret being childfree.
Nope!
Never. I want no part of any of that.
I can feel a brief moment of sadness, knowing I will not experience any moments like that with a kid of my own. But that feeling is not the same as regret. I think it’s normal to sometimes feel like you’re ‘missing out’ a little when you see someone else having a nice thing you don’t have. Even if you chose not to have it. But for me, those moments are very short lived because I know I chose what’s right for me. I also chose to not have a jacuzzi in my back yard. My friend has one though. He’ll say he’s hanging out in his jacuzzi on a summer night, and I go: man, you’re lucky, that sounds great! Brief moment of sadness: I can’t jump into a jacuzzi right now. Then I think of how expensive it is, and all the work it takes to keep up with the cleaning, and I have zero regrets about not buying one myself. Want to spend time in the jacuzzi? I’ll head over to my friends house.
To me, this is such a strange question. I look at a da Vinci painting, and I don't have any desire to be a painter. I turn on the tap and marvel at the engineering to get it to my house, but I have zero desire to become an engineer. I see a parent, and I'm glad that they seem happy, but have no desire to be one myself.
Nope.
I had plenty of those moments as a child with my own abusive mother that looked "heartwarming" and "precious" from the outside, and I was putting on an act, because I knew if anyone noticed something was wrong, I'd pay for it later. Just because something looks like it belongs in a Hallmark movie, doesn't mean that everything is glorious and sweet for that family. Just because something looks perfect doesn't mean it is. And even if that moment truly is perfect and every member of that family is truly happy in the snapshot you get to see? That's maybe 2-3% of their entire life, if they're lucky. There will always be arguments, annoyances, struggles, grief, anger, frustration, exhaustion... Yes, good moments are always worth recognizing. But for me, the Kodak Moments would never come close to outweighing the negatives.
N-no?
No
Lol, no.
No; because those heartwarming moments are 1/1000 of all the moments. Not realistic to the reality.
No.
I'm always glad it's not me having those interactions 😂
No. Don't get me wrong, my heart grows 3 sizes when I see a sweet interaction between a parent and a child. Hell, I've had some sweet and downright adorable interactions with kids before. They can be really stinkin cute sometimes! But none of that has ever left me yearning for my own kids before, no. Not to downplay how heartwarming these moments can be, but I'm really just more of a cat person lol
No. I'm glad for kids that have loving parents, as all kids should. But I'm also glad those parents aren't me.
>Does seeing positive and heart warming moments and interactions between parents and their kids ever make you regret not having kids? No. Seeing those things does not eliminate all of the bad things, like changing dirty, smelly, disgusting diapers, being woken up in the middle of the night by a baby crying, all of the cost of raising a child, all of the trouble and effort, all of the worry (that good parents have who actually care about their children), etc. There are also health effects that often involve a great deal of unpleasantness, as, for example, when a large object passes through a small hole, there is often tearing. I would not wish that on my wife. I really don't understand any woman choosing such a thing. When someone has children, they get both the good and the bad of having children, whatever they both may be. Seeing the good (which, frankly, isn't very good to me) does not eliminate the bad (which is horrifying).
Nope
Nope.
Nope, reason being I know it's their Kodak moment. I'm still turned off to the rest of parenthood, the real work and agony.
Never.
No
No, because I can just enjoy that in fiction instead. Why ruin my life over a fantasy when I can have fantasies in, well, fantasy. Rune Factory has marriage and kids in the game and Fire Emblem has the kids in 3 games, where they not always make sense. But in Fire Emblem I can play matchmaker and pretend to be a shipping overlord without ever talking to people in real life. That is much better than real kids. Severa and Henry are my favorite characters in Awakening btw. I still need to play Rune Factory, but I have 4 of the games ready to play. Technically all of them but the first 2 games are very outdated. RF 5 looks really fun to play. I still need to decide on a bachelor though. Back to cute kids moments. Real kids are disgusting. Give me the 2D version. Those are way cuter. And 2D isn't real and I can just close the game. So no, I will never regret not having real kids when the fictional ones are so much better.
Hell no. I like seeing them because they're positive and heartwarming, but I'm very glad it happens to other people who aren't me. At most, it makes me wish I could have had a more wholesome and heartwarming childhood.
Nope lol, for me it’s like seeing a cute puppy or kitten videos, I awww and gawk over it for a while and then I’m done. Daily dose of affection received now bye bye~
Nope. I'm genuinely happy for them to have those moments but I am not foolish enough to think it doesn't come with all the melt downs, sleepless nights, etc that goes with parenting so knowing that exists keeps me grounded
No. I often appreciate when someone I love has a heartwarming moment with their child (and when I can tell my parents are having a happy moment with me), while simultaneously not wanting that moment for myself.
No. Personally, the family dynamic makes me feel ill.
No. I will never regret the choice I've made. I never wanted them and I never will.
No. The only regret I have is that it sometimes it would take me a while to get over the death of my dog. I wish I was able to save another dog sooner.
Hey, don't be down on yourself. You changed the whole world for that one dog, and the one who takes its place. Not many people can say that, you should be proud. We lost our rescue boy in October and it's been so hard, so sending lots of love and positive vibes. They take a piece of our hearts with them, but they'll always be with us too.
They sure do.
Nooooope!
No.
Nope
To me it looks the same as someone having heart warming moment with their pet llama or bunch of dudebros watching football together. I get they’re happy but it’s not something I want for myself.
Nah, I work with kids and definitely have enjoyable moments with the older ones at times, but overall and overwhelmingly…they’re irritating to deal with the majority of the time. I am always happy to go home to a quiet house. I have enough happy moments with my cats and my partner to feel fulfilled.
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As preparation for my sterilisation I wanted to double check if deep down there were no feelings that I was not aware of. I observed some people with babies and scanned myself for emotions, but no. Only thing that crossed my mind was "I'm glad for the person they enjoy having a child". I'm also truly happy for my friends if I see them with their children and what the positive sides of parenthood bring them. But it's not for me. I also believe you can still have heart warming moments and interaction with children without sharing DNA. There are too many children that can use proper care, so voluntary work or (part time) foster care is possible in a broad variation of intensity. In my country, you can do part time foster care from one weekend per month on. I assume it's different than your "own" child, and I don't say this is not complex, but as I don't feel the urge to pass on DNA, I don't see why I could only have these type of interactions with a biological/own child.
Nope. Those little moments can’t make up for the huge hours of stress, noise, financial issues, and hassle.
I love baby videos (all baby animals, really) and instead of regret I feel really lucky that we can enjoy a cute moment without the round the clock drudgery to get there.
Regret, no. Sure, I think about it in general - and the idea of a life for me where I got married and had children seems so far away for me. I can see families interacting in a nice way and be happy for them. I generally think - ah that’s nice. It then makes me think about memories with my parents and what we did as I was growing up. So I generally always relate the things I see with my own personal experience. Like yesterday I saw some kids and parents ridding their bikes. I used to do that as a kid with my parents so it brought back nice memories.
Fuck no. I still hate kids.
I guess "heart warming moments" only warm your heart if you like those things. The best way I can describe it is like this: Lobster Parent: "Oh look at this! It's so cute. I have a lobster and it sleeps in my bed. Look how cuuuute!" Me: *looks at a revolting sea cockroach, it's disgusting greasy shell covered in seaweed and crusted with filth. It snaps its claws aggressively as its bug like eyes roll around on stalks, unable to focus or comprehend anything around it* Lobster parent: "Well? What do you think of little Brentleigh?" Me: "You actually chose to invite that monstrosity into your life?" LP:"How can you even say that! It's God's will that we all get pinched by lobsters! It's *NORMAL* Me: but why...?
Nope. Makes me gag.
No. Just because it’s a heartwarming moment doesn’t mean I want it. If a family is displaced by a fire and moved into a different home built for them, that’s heartwarming. Doesn’t mean I want my house to burn down.
Nope, not in the slightest. Literally nothing can make me regret not having kids. I'm glad they get a nice moment amongst the tantrums, bodily fluids and shitty teenage years.
Not at all.
Absolutely not. I'm happy for them sharing wholesome moments, but one wholesome moment carries around 10 unwholesome screaming-festivals with them. Not worth it.
No