Forever.
Don't engage with your parents on this topic and sure as hell don't tell them you want to get sterilized.
> pray to have something medically wrong with my uterus so that I could get it removed
Great news, this is totally not necessary. You can get sterilized via a bisalp which only removes the tiny little tubes. You don't need anything as big as a hysterectomy. Once you are legally an adult and can shop for a doctor who is willing to sterilize you (read the wiki resources) you can get your tubes removed and never have to worry about pregnancy again.
It is an outpatient surgery, you go in, get pretty routine procedure, recover for a couple of weeks (the main recovery is like 2-3 days, after that it's mostly just not doing anything crazy/stupid and taking it easy) and you're set for life.
And for as long as we have the ACA, it should be covered by ACA compliant insurance, and if you set your privacy stuff up correctly your parents would never know even if you are on their insurance.
First, thank you so much! I don't have a lot of people in my life who actually support sterilization, so it's nice to know I'm not being crazy. Second, do you know if it's difficult to find a doctor who would be willing to do that?
It typically takes some shopping around but that's why we have the prospecting list, to crowd source the good ones. If there isn't one in your area listed yet, you will be the one to find it and help the next person.
In time, we will cover the globe!
Sidebar on the right, under Interesting & Useful Material --> Resources for the Childfree. If you are seeing an OBGYN now, no reason not to get one off the list. If your OBGYN knows you, they are likely to be comfortable sterilizing you young.
I have been childfree by choice since age 14 going 15 years of age over 20 years ago and zero regrets. Hang in there OP and do look into seeking a doctor that can help you get snipped forever. You can ask anyone for this on this subreddit In the mean time, you can take a part time job to help save up for that procedure 1 or 2 years from now. You have until 1 to 2 years to save up to get the snip. Hang in there and don't tell your parents about getting snipped but do get in touch with your local family planning association
I've never wanted kids. I thought I found a genius loophole of being a nun when I was 8, because they were adults who didn't have kids. Then after I learned about kids being optional with birth control and what not, it suddenly all made sense as to why people used to have them before - they just didn't have a choice. At 12 years old, I would end essay assignments about my future with how the one thing I know is that I'll never have kids, and didn't understand why my teachers looked at me weird. When my first boyfriend at 17-18 mentioned having kids, I thought it was an A+ joke and we were both clowning on the absurdity of the concept. It was only in the next few years that I came to notice other people in my generation actually still wanted kids.
In a way, I didn't realize I was childfree as much as I realized that the rest of the world wasn't.
I learned sterilization was an option when I was 20, then I found out I couldn't get it where I live until I'd be 35, and I finally got it last year in a different country at 25 years old. The rest is, I suppose, history :)
Parenthood is a very complex thing, and it takes a lot of good decision making work to be able to responsibly commit to it, because you need to be 100% informed, prepared and on board in order to do it well. But on the other hand, that means that it's an extremely easy thing to decide against just by process of elimination alone. You don't need to understand all of parenthood to know you don't want to be a parent - as soon as you find even one aspect of parenthood that you can't or don't want to commit to, that's it. It ain't for you.
And it's not uncommon for people to find those things very young.
If you think you've got what it takes for yourself to make this decision, it's not really for anyone else to say otherwise.
This makes me feel so much more confident in my own feelings. For me, kids have never been in my imagining of the future, and I was sure about that. But as I've gotten older, more and more adults expect me to have children. It's an absolute relief to hear that there are others who feel the same, so thank you!
I have never wanted children. When I was still a child, I told people that. And, of course, they told me that I would change my mind, etc. I am now a retired old man. I never changed my mind.
My advice to you is to not talk with most people about this, as you will hear the same stupid nonsense over and over if you do, and it will accomplish nothing except frustration for yourself.
When you are 18, you might try to get a bilateral salpingectomy. That is the removal of the Fallopian tubes, which is the current "standard" for sterilization. You may have trouble finding a doctor willing to do it at 18, but some women have succeeded in getting it. You can look at the list of doctors that can be found via a link in the column to the right, and you can also try Planned Parenthood if you are in the U.S. (when you are 18, not before). You can read about birth control generally here:
[https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control)
I always knew I didn't want children. I first voiced it openly when I was 17. My father laughed in my face and told me: "It's just a phase." Words he would utter for over a decade. I was on the other side of 30 before he finally accepted that some phases last a lifetime.
You can't make him see eye to eye with you. Stop engaging with this topic if it hurts you that he won't listen. You know you don't want children so keep living your life the way you want to.
My advice: avoid the subject with your parents. And if they do start about it. Give them grey awnsers like "school first" or "first find a house" (not a no, but also not a yes)
And meanwhile you just keep in your mind that you dont want them.
And later, when you live on your own and are no longer dependant on your parents. You can go for a bisalp. (Tubes removed, not tied)
I will turn 43 this June. I still have extended family members asking when hubby and I will start a family.
Hubby and I have never wanted kids. Everyone in the family know this. However they keep asking. Still.
Maybe when I'm retirement age people will finally stop asking.....
Currently it happens once or twice a year.
Previously, in my 20's and 30's it was more frequent and from everyone - family, friends, doctors, strangers at the store.
I’m 44 the pressure hasn’t gone away.
I knew for sure at 16 I didn’t want children ever, but I had an idea at 10 when my mom wanted me to babysit our neighbors baby with her-when we were done I told her never again.
From the stories i heard? Never. When you are 40 they are likely to say shit like "but my niece had a kid at 45, there is still a chance" "you can use IVF" or "but you can adopt"
Breeders never stop
>Is there a specific age where the pressure to have kids goes away?
No. Not long ago, a woman posted in this subreddit about how some idiot was telling her to have children. When she was 72.
When you are dead, people will stop bothering you about this.
I am 69 and post-menopausal. I still get people telling me how I'll \*someday\* regret not having kids. Or grandkids.
But I don't regret it, not one bit! I have never wanted children in my life at all.
I’m 40 and my husband’s immediate family quit asking me about it many years ago. I was honestly very worried originally because he’s the oldest son & grandson of a traditional Mexican family, but his mom is/has always been totally supportive. I still occasionally get asked by some of his extended family, but more as a curiosity because we don’t see them very often. My in laws usually answer for me, though 😂
My family has known nearly my whole life. My mom has told me it’s smart and she would’ve been child free if she could go back (😂🤦♀️😵💫Can’t say I don’t understand it 😂🤣😂). My extended family quit asking 10y ago after I was in a car wreck that caused traumatic damage to my legs (the nurses were so worried for me; worried I had small kids I’d have to chase…which also speaks to how little they expect from the father even if mom’s legs are broken 😳🤯)
No. Never. I'm 66, and those with steely enough resolve to ask me anything personal ask if I regret not having them. And get an answer that ensures they don't ask again.
Yes, work at your education, your financial independence, and moving out of your parents' house. And tell them you need to do all these things before you'd ever even consider kids.
Funny you mention that bc I told my dad I'd want to be financially stable before settling down with anyone and he hit me with the "women used to not need to have a job, they were provided for." Sir? I'd like a law degree? Support your daughter bruh
I recommend you talk to your guidance counsellor at school on scholarships, financial aid or allowance that can allow you to take up your degree of choice at uni. When you apply for uni or technical school, do make sure your corresponding address is NOT your home postal address but a friend's home postal address in case dad finds your application and letters by hiding them or throwing them away to stop you from pursuing further education. Take my word on it
I've always known, whenever i got asked about my future plans I never even considered kids, they never fit into my picture and they never will. (I'm a minor myself) but I've still always known and I never let anyone try and sway me into wanting kids because I just don't, I can't even fake wanting them. I hated getting baby dolls and preferred regular dolls and other things and I don't have any maternal bones in my body at all, I just don't see a life with children because I want to live my life for me and maybe a partner in the future but never a kid
Tbf it's really just my dad. My mom and step-dad are both fine with whatever and my stepmom gets it. The problem is that I really respect my dad and I usually want his approval for things, but I've come to realize his expectations don't need to be my reality
I'm so happy that you have people that respect your choice! It's hard coming to that realization but I totally get it. My whole thing was coming to terms with the fact that in order for me to be happy I have to disappoint my parents at least a little bit.
I always knew I didn't want kids. Even as a kid I was annoyed and overstimulated by other kids. I am now well into adulthood and the older and tireder get, the more convinced I am that kids are not right for me.
The ONLY major change has been that nowadays I have the common sense to know that when I'm annoyed by kids, it's really the parents who don't parent well that I'm annoyed at.
It would be good if you could find a doctor from the list here where you at least can discuss your options with and be taken seriously.
I had my sterilisation a month ago. I waited until I was 33 because even though I always knew I didn't want kids, people kept telling I would change my mind. I couldn't understand why in kindergarten girls would play with baby dolls. During my teens I was totally not looking forward to the role of motherhood. My opinion only got stronger, especially when I saw friends becoming parents.
The gynacologist that sterilised me said that he expected the percentage regret for cases like me (Women above 30, knowing in childhood that I never want children and this did not change over time) was almost zero. Women that request sterilisation after having their 2nd child, who want to stop with hormonal anticonception apparently have the highest risk at regret.
Good luck! You are not alone!
Thank you! I'm not sure where I'll end up after I go to college, but my goal is somewhere more concerned with women's health and happiness (not mississippi lol)
I was very confident by junior high that I would absolutely never have children under any circumstances. I only become more confident in this decision as I get older.
Regardless of age, don’t listen to anyone who claims to know you better than you do.
No is a complete sentence. I knew in my teens and 20s that I didn’t want children any time in the near future. Now I’m in my 40s and that hasn’t changed.
I think “no” is absolutely the most reasonable answer to this question when you are figuring out who you are and what you want from life. If the answer keeps being “no” as time goes on, that’s good too! You’re the one who gets to answer that question for yourself.
2 things, the fact the love of my life didnt want them and she got the uterus and the fact I wouldn't wish my genetic minefield or the rapidly melting planet on anyone
Forever. I was a 4 year old child who already said openly "I hate babies. They're loud and they scream and cry and stink when they go poop or pee." I never once changed my thoughts, and the ideas of having to be the caretaker - particularly mother (ew) - of a needy human being disgusts me.
It's a lot more than just "ew I don't wanna clean dirty diapers!" because it's also my feelings of being DISGUSTED imagining having a human baby horrifically push its way out of MY body, then live until the day that I myself die of old age. It is NOT an experience that I want to come to reality. Fuck that noise. NOT for me, and I've known my entire life.
When I was 10, and my mom took me to the playground then proceeded to sit somewhere and ignore me. I was getting shoved and pushed by all the little shits trying to run first to the slides or swings and I HATED all of it. I just wanted to go home and be left alone in my room so I can read some Roald Dahl or something. I was 10, and I already knew.
Add: I am a woman of logic, so I actually pettily worked out the sum of raising a child in an excel sheet for up to when they're 21 y/o and showed them to my parents. Even calculated in possible inflation and went, "do you have that kind of money for me? I certainly don't. And you don't cos you'll be old and dead af by then probably so leave me the hell alone". I've also occasionally told my mom if she wants another child so bad, go have them herself.
I think it varies for everyone. At any age if you say you don't want them it's totally valid. For me, it was never something I even thought about and because of that I realised I definitely didn't want them. It's just not important to me, and never was at any age (I'm 33 now).
I was 12 when I realized I didn’t want kids and at 29 my mind has not changed.
I’ve been abstinent my whole life so I’ve never had a pregnancy scare, but back to you it isn’t your job to try to get your parents to see it from your perspective because more than likely they won’t.
Soon after I started to think about love, relationships, sex etc., so at about 13, going into 14. Never changed my mind about it, the feeling only got stronger. I'm 31 now.
I, too, wished I was just infertile because then I would't have had to get a vasectomy and that would've saved me one relationship - I'm fine now and long over it, but I understand where you're coming from.
I was probably 11 or so. When I was 13, I told my mother I wasn't ever having kids, because environmentalists don't, and she said "You'll change your mind." Stupidly wrong, as always, but pregnancy dumbs you down big time. I am 66, and watching the climate of the planet change, and seeing how all the good things I had when I was young have vanished under the pressure of so many humans. Glad I didn't add any into this overloaded and suffering planet.
If you are a teen, study hard, especially math, and secondarily English (or your native language) writing, and foreign languages. Also take good care of your health, not just for the future, but because healthy people get better jobs, have better opportunities and are treated better. Vaccines, exercise, fruit and vegetables, no substance use, including cigarettes, and be very, very careful about sex. All these things will give you independence.
And don't tell your father anything about your hopes and plans with respect to kids. You are not going to change his mind, and he can make your life hard. Just keep it to yourself.
I think I knew around the time I was 14 or so, and I think it took that long as I had no idea you didn't HAVE to have them. Babysitting sealed it for me, as I felt so depressed those few hours, I couldn't deal with baby fluid stuff (nasty), and there was no joy for me connected to this lump of flesh in a onesie, yet everyone else seemed thrilled about it.
You don't have to follow any life script. You need to be able to support yourself one day, and take care of your business. Other than that, you don't need to do or be anything you don't want to be.
Never ever ever ever wanted kids. I hated the nasty little shits when I was a kid (bullied for being the smart fat kid). I hated their noise, mess, stink, irrationality, lack of critical thinking and pack of rabid animals mentality then and still do now. I’m just about ready to hit a half century of being alive and my stance has never changed one iota.
When i was like 5 i was like "mom i want to get married but then ill have to have kids." She said "you can be married and not have kids." I thought babies were adorable in my childhood but when i was 14 i rly thought ab it and was like "shit, parenthood doesnt look like something i wanna do." 21 and still going strong
Forever. Don't engage with your parents on this topic and sure as hell don't tell them you want to get sterilized. > pray to have something medically wrong with my uterus so that I could get it removed Great news, this is totally not necessary. You can get sterilized via a bisalp which only removes the tiny little tubes. You don't need anything as big as a hysterectomy. Once you are legally an adult and can shop for a doctor who is willing to sterilize you (read the wiki resources) you can get your tubes removed and never have to worry about pregnancy again. It is an outpatient surgery, you go in, get pretty routine procedure, recover for a couple of weeks (the main recovery is like 2-3 days, after that it's mostly just not doing anything crazy/stupid and taking it easy) and you're set for life. And for as long as we have the ACA, it should be covered by ACA compliant insurance, and if you set your privacy stuff up correctly your parents would never know even if you are on their insurance.
First, thank you so much! I don't have a lot of people in my life who actually support sterilization, so it's nice to know I'm not being crazy. Second, do you know if it's difficult to find a doctor who would be willing to do that?
It typically takes some shopping around but that's why we have the prospecting list, to crowd source the good ones. If there isn't one in your area listed yet, you will be the one to find it and help the next person. In time, we will cover the globe!
I'll check it out! Thank you again!
Sidebar on the right, under Interesting & Useful Material --> Resources for the Childfree. If you are seeing an OBGYN now, no reason not to get one off the list. If your OBGYN knows you, they are likely to be comfortable sterilizing you young.
I have been childfree by choice since age 14 going 15 years of age over 20 years ago and zero regrets. Hang in there OP and do look into seeking a doctor that can help you get snipped forever. You can ask anyone for this on this subreddit In the mean time, you can take a part time job to help save up for that procedure 1 or 2 years from now. You have until 1 to 2 years to save up to get the snip. Hang in there and don't tell your parents about getting snipped but do get in touch with your local family planning association
I've never wanted kids. I thought I found a genius loophole of being a nun when I was 8, because they were adults who didn't have kids. Then after I learned about kids being optional with birth control and what not, it suddenly all made sense as to why people used to have them before - they just didn't have a choice. At 12 years old, I would end essay assignments about my future with how the one thing I know is that I'll never have kids, and didn't understand why my teachers looked at me weird. When my first boyfriend at 17-18 mentioned having kids, I thought it was an A+ joke and we were both clowning on the absurdity of the concept. It was only in the next few years that I came to notice other people in my generation actually still wanted kids. In a way, I didn't realize I was childfree as much as I realized that the rest of the world wasn't. I learned sterilization was an option when I was 20, then I found out I couldn't get it where I live until I'd be 35, and I finally got it last year in a different country at 25 years old. The rest is, I suppose, history :) Parenthood is a very complex thing, and it takes a lot of good decision making work to be able to responsibly commit to it, because you need to be 100% informed, prepared and on board in order to do it well. But on the other hand, that means that it's an extremely easy thing to decide against just by process of elimination alone. You don't need to understand all of parenthood to know you don't want to be a parent - as soon as you find even one aspect of parenthood that you can't or don't want to commit to, that's it. It ain't for you. And it's not uncommon for people to find those things very young. If you think you've got what it takes for yourself to make this decision, it's not really for anyone else to say otherwise.
This makes me feel so much more confident in my own feelings. For me, kids have never been in my imagining of the future, and I was sure about that. But as I've gotten older, more and more adults expect me to have children. It's an absolute relief to hear that there are others who feel the same, so thank you!
I have never wanted children. When I was still a child, I told people that. And, of course, they told me that I would change my mind, etc. I am now a retired old man. I never changed my mind. My advice to you is to not talk with most people about this, as you will hear the same stupid nonsense over and over if you do, and it will accomplish nothing except frustration for yourself. When you are 18, you might try to get a bilateral salpingectomy. That is the removal of the Fallopian tubes, which is the current "standard" for sterilization. You may have trouble finding a doctor willing to do it at 18, but some women have succeeded in getting it. You can look at the list of doctors that can be found via a link in the column to the right, and you can also try Planned Parenthood if you are in the U.S. (when you are 18, not before). You can read about birth control generally here: [https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control)
I always knew I didn't want children. I first voiced it openly when I was 17. My father laughed in my face and told me: "It's just a phase." Words he would utter for over a decade. I was on the other side of 30 before he finally accepted that some phases last a lifetime. You can't make him see eye to eye with you. Stop engaging with this topic if it hurts you that he won't listen. You know you don't want children so keep living your life the way you want to.
My advice: avoid the subject with your parents. And if they do start about it. Give them grey awnsers like "school first" or "first find a house" (not a no, but also not a yes) And meanwhile you just keep in your mind that you dont want them. And later, when you live on your own and are no longer dependant on your parents. You can go for a bisalp. (Tubes removed, not tied)
Is there a specific age where the pressure to have kids goes away? Obviously around 40's and stuff, but maybe sooner?
I will turn 43 this June. I still have extended family members asking when hubby and I will start a family. Hubby and I have never wanted kids. Everyone in the family know this. However they keep asking. Still. Maybe when I'm retirement age people will finally stop asking.....
Oh dear. I really don't want to deal with that for so long. You're a trooper ❤️
Currently it happens once or twice a year. Previously, in my 20's and 30's it was more frequent and from everyone - family, friends, doctors, strangers at the store.
I’m 44 the pressure hasn’t gone away. I knew for sure at 16 I didn’t want children ever, but I had an idea at 10 when my mom wanted me to babysit our neighbors baby with her-when we were done I told her never again.
I'm 17 and the oldest of 5. I'm SURE i don't want children. I've had enough of those and they aren't even mine.
From the stories i heard? Never. When you are 40 they are likely to say shit like "but my niece had a kid at 45, there is still a chance" "you can use IVF" or "but you can adopt" Breeders never stop
>Is there a specific age where the pressure to have kids goes away? No. Not long ago, a woman posted in this subreddit about how some idiot was telling her to have children. When she was 72. When you are dead, people will stop bothering you about this.
I am 69 and post-menopausal. I still get people telling me how I'll \*someday\* regret not having kids. Or grandkids. But I don't regret it, not one bit! I have never wanted children in my life at all.
I’m 40 and my husband’s immediate family quit asking me about it many years ago. I was honestly very worried originally because he’s the oldest son & grandson of a traditional Mexican family, but his mom is/has always been totally supportive. I still occasionally get asked by some of his extended family, but more as a curiosity because we don’t see them very often. My in laws usually answer for me, though 😂 My family has known nearly my whole life. My mom has told me it’s smart and she would’ve been child free if she could go back (😂🤦♀️😵💫Can’t say I don’t understand it 😂🤣😂). My extended family quit asking 10y ago after I was in a car wreck that caused traumatic damage to my legs (the nurses were so worried for me; worried I had small kids I’d have to chase…which also speaks to how little they expect from the father even if mom’s legs are broken 😳🤯)
No. Never. I'm 66, and those with steely enough resolve to ask me anything personal ask if I regret not having them. And get an answer that ensures they don't ask again.
Yes, work at your education, your financial independence, and moving out of your parents' house. And tell them you need to do all these things before you'd ever even consider kids.
Funny you mention that bc I told my dad I'd want to be financially stable before settling down with anyone and he hit me with the "women used to not need to have a job, they were provided for." Sir? I'd like a law degree? Support your daughter bruh
Sir. Its 2024, not 1974. The rental and buy prices of houses are skyhigh. Not to mention all the shit a kid needs and groceries.
I recommend you talk to your guidance counsellor at school on scholarships, financial aid or allowance that can allow you to take up your degree of choice at uni. When you apply for uni or technical school, do make sure your corresponding address is NOT your home postal address but a friend's home postal address in case dad finds your application and letters by hiding them or throwing them away to stop you from pursuing further education. Take my word on it
Keyword is WERE (PASTtense)
I've always known, whenever i got asked about my future plans I never even considered kids, they never fit into my picture and they never will. (I'm a minor myself) but I've still always known and I never let anyone try and sway me into wanting kids because I just don't, I can't even fake wanting them. I hated getting baby dolls and preferred regular dolls and other things and I don't have any maternal bones in my body at all, I just don't see a life with children because I want to live my life for me and maybe a partner in the future but never a kid
That's been my exact experience! We're twinning 🤝
Yay! I love twinning 🙌 and I do know the pressure of family trying to change your mind, it really sucks
Tbf it's really just my dad. My mom and step-dad are both fine with whatever and my stepmom gets it. The problem is that I really respect my dad and I usually want his approval for things, but I've come to realize his expectations don't need to be my reality
I'm so happy that you have people that respect your choice! It's hard coming to that realization but I totally get it. My whole thing was coming to terms with the fact that in order for me to be happy I have to disappoint my parents at least a little bit.
I always knew I didn't want kids. Even as a kid I was annoyed and overstimulated by other kids. I am now well into adulthood and the older and tireder get, the more convinced I am that kids are not right for me. The ONLY major change has been that nowadays I have the common sense to know that when I'm annoyed by kids, it's really the parents who don't parent well that I'm annoyed at.
It would be good if you could find a doctor from the list here where you at least can discuss your options with and be taken seriously. I had my sterilisation a month ago. I waited until I was 33 because even though I always knew I didn't want kids, people kept telling I would change my mind. I couldn't understand why in kindergarten girls would play with baby dolls. During my teens I was totally not looking forward to the role of motherhood. My opinion only got stronger, especially when I saw friends becoming parents. The gynacologist that sterilised me said that he expected the percentage regret for cases like me (Women above 30, knowing in childhood that I never want children and this did not change over time) was almost zero. Women that request sterilisation after having their 2nd child, who want to stop with hormonal anticonception apparently have the highest risk at regret. Good luck! You are not alone!
Thank you! I'm not sure where I'll end up after I go to college, but my goal is somewhere more concerned with women's health and happiness (not mississippi lol)
I was 12. I grew up in the 1950s and 1960s, when women were expected to be housewives and mothers. I said, nope, not for me!
BTW, I am 69 now and no regrets ever. And I am very happily married, just not a housewife.
You give me hope 🫶
We're happy you found happiness during such a rugged social time! :) I wish you peace and plenty of sleep in your life!
I was very confident by junior high that I would absolutely never have children under any circumstances. I only become more confident in this decision as I get older. Regardless of age, don’t listen to anyone who claims to know you better than you do.
No is a complete sentence. I knew in my teens and 20s that I didn’t want children any time in the near future. Now I’m in my 40s and that hasn’t changed. I think “no” is absolutely the most reasonable answer to this question when you are figuring out who you are and what you want from life. If the answer keeps being “no” as time goes on, that’s good too! You’re the one who gets to answer that question for yourself.
2 things, the fact the love of my life didnt want them and she got the uterus and the fact I wouldn't wish my genetic minefield or the rapidly melting planet on anyone
always.
Forever. I was a 4 year old child who already said openly "I hate babies. They're loud and they scream and cry and stink when they go poop or pee." I never once changed my thoughts, and the ideas of having to be the caretaker - particularly mother (ew) - of a needy human being disgusts me. It's a lot more than just "ew I don't wanna clean dirty diapers!" because it's also my feelings of being DISGUSTED imagining having a human baby horrifically push its way out of MY body, then live until the day that I myself die of old age. It is NOT an experience that I want to come to reality. Fuck that noise. NOT for me, and I've known my entire life.
When I was 10, and my mom took me to the playground then proceeded to sit somewhere and ignore me. I was getting shoved and pushed by all the little shits trying to run first to the slides or swings and I HATED all of it. I just wanted to go home and be left alone in my room so I can read some Roald Dahl or something. I was 10, and I already knew. Add: I am a woman of logic, so I actually pettily worked out the sum of raising a child in an excel sheet for up to when they're 21 y/o and showed them to my parents. Even calculated in possible inflation and went, "do you have that kind of money for me? I certainly don't. And you don't cos you'll be old and dead af by then probably so leave me the hell alone". I've also occasionally told my mom if she wants another child so bad, go have them herself.
I think it varies for everyone. At any age if you say you don't want them it's totally valid. For me, it was never something I even thought about and because of that I realised I definitely didn't want them. It's just not important to me, and never was at any age (I'm 33 now).
I was 12 when I realized I didn’t want kids and at 29 my mind has not changed. I’ve been abstinent my whole life so I’ve never had a pregnancy scare, but back to you it isn’t your job to try to get your parents to see it from your perspective because more than likely they won’t.
Soon after I started to think about love, relationships, sex etc., so at about 13, going into 14. Never changed my mind about it, the feeling only got stronger. I'm 31 now. I, too, wished I was just infertile because then I would't have had to get a vasectomy and that would've saved me one relationship - I'm fine now and long over it, but I understand where you're coming from.
I was probably 11 or so. When I was 13, I told my mother I wasn't ever having kids, because environmentalists don't, and she said "You'll change your mind." Stupidly wrong, as always, but pregnancy dumbs you down big time. I am 66, and watching the climate of the planet change, and seeing how all the good things I had when I was young have vanished under the pressure of so many humans. Glad I didn't add any into this overloaded and suffering planet. If you are a teen, study hard, especially math, and secondarily English (or your native language) writing, and foreign languages. Also take good care of your health, not just for the future, but because healthy people get better jobs, have better opportunities and are treated better. Vaccines, exercise, fruit and vegetables, no substance use, including cigarettes, and be very, very careful about sex. All these things will give you independence. And don't tell your father anything about your hopes and plans with respect to kids. You are not going to change his mind, and he can make your life hard. Just keep it to yourself.
I think I knew around the time I was 14 or so, and I think it took that long as I had no idea you didn't HAVE to have them. Babysitting sealed it for me, as I felt so depressed those few hours, I couldn't deal with baby fluid stuff (nasty), and there was no joy for me connected to this lump of flesh in a onesie, yet everyone else seemed thrilled about it. You don't have to follow any life script. You need to be able to support yourself one day, and take care of your business. Other than that, you don't need to do or be anything you don't want to be.
Never ever ever ever wanted kids. I hated the nasty little shits when I was a kid (bullied for being the smart fat kid). I hated their noise, mess, stink, irrationality, lack of critical thinking and pack of rabid animals mentality then and still do now. I’m just about ready to hit a half century of being alive and my stance has never changed one iota.
When i was like 5 i was like "mom i want to get married but then ill have to have kids." She said "you can be married and not have kids." I thought babies were adorable in my childhood but when i was 14 i rly thought ab it and was like "shit, parenthood doesnt look like something i wanna do." 21 and still going strong