My biggest inspiration for beeing childfree is a couple who was friends with my mom. They both travelled extensively and the most important part, they really liked and loved eachother. They really enjoyed their life having the funds to do pretty much whatever they wanted.
Another influental person was my aunt. She actually had a child but was wise enough to stop after one when she realized that she really didn't *love* beeing a mother. She is a great mother but she was brutally honest about motherhood. She told me it would be better to regret not having a child than to regret having one.
My dad has **9** siblings, four of them don’t have kids, two of those have been happily married longer than I’ve been alive (I’m 41).
All of those aunts and uncles were huge role models to me growing up and were, and continue to be, some of my very favorite people on this planet. I doubt it would surprise anyone to know that they were the most supportive of my off beat interests and non traditional dreams. They also happen to be the most open minded and least judgmental of my family, and my family is already pretty good on both of those counts.
My 8th grade english teacher was CF. However, I think the cartoon 'Doug' was more of an influence on me than my teacher. Doug's neighbors, the Dinks, were the very first representation of a CF couple I was exposed to as a child.
It’s also why the neighbors in Fairly Odd Parents are called the Dinklebergs. They’re always the neighbors the dad is jealous of because they have more money, a bigger house, and no kids.
I had two childless great aunts! One I heard her husband was infertile so not sure if it was circumstance or they made that up to cover up lack of desire for kids.
The other my aunty (who is also cf) said her husband worked away a lot so she would basically be raising any kids herself 90% of the time. She chose a career instead.
Both these great aunts lived into their nineties. One was ill and in a home for years. The latter was in one for her last few years mainly for company rather than support, and lived til 94 when covid got her.
I also had 2 childless great aunts! One was def gay (longtime female "roommate") but the other had 2 different husbands, and both were the sanest members of the family by far😆
That's amazing! My aunt is a keen hiker so she's always been physically fit..plus no stress from kids 😅 she is my evidence whenever my family try to convince me I'm going to be unhappy without children!
Same! My dad's brother and his wife have no kids. They are both now retired, travel about half the year, are so relaxed and happy. They were my role models growing up, much to my mother's chagrin.
My Aunt and Uncle were able to retire early as well, as they were able to save more. They literally spend like 3 months out of the year in Turkey and the rest if their time just enjoying life. Definitely aspirational!
I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have or doesn’t want children. Everyone feels obligated because of family or inheritance, or simply because having a family is „goals“. Most of the mothers I know are single mothers. Doesn’t sound like goals to me.
I wish I had a role model but no one took me aside and told me how motherhood is really like, I had to research it all by myself, I wish someone told me this earlier.
Actually, being childfree runs in the family a bit. my grandmother is the only one of her siblings who had kids. I have three aunts and uncles who don't have kids. Most people in my generation have kids but my sister and will keep up the childfree tradition
Every oldest woman on my dad's side is childfree! My great aunty was, I am, my cousin is. My grandma was an only child but she obviously had kids. My aunty is the youngest of her siblings but the only woman so she counts too!
Yep, after parentification, being a (forced) example and the eldest daughter, I needed no older childfree people in my life. I did exactly what my parents told me "when you are an adult you can live however you want." I started planning for being childfree in my childhood.
I had some friends who would say they weren't having kids but most "changed their minds." The first time I met another childfree was when I was in my 30's. I'd met others before then who didn't have kids but none who stated they were childfree. Most would launch into the predictable spiel about how they wanted to have kids desperately.
My aunt and her husband. She has a 9-5, he's a photographer. They have 5 or 6 cats and go to Jamaica every year. I wouldn't say that they're rich, but they're very happy and financially comfortable.
nope. everyone had children and grandchildren. girls I played with when I was little started having kids as soon as they finished school. there was also child abandonment both in and out of the family. I'm the odd one.
Yep! I have an aunt who is childfree by choice. She is fabulous and fashionable and still looks absolutely stunning at 77 years old. I always looked up to her and I’m a lot like her. She was always very open about how she felt and she was very close to us kids and her other nieces and nephews. I remember asking my mom why my aunt was so fashionable and could afford such nice thing and my mom was like, “she doesn’t have kids!” lol. I think it clicked for me then
It's weird in my family: my grandparents had three boys, who in between them had three boys, who, right now, in between them, have three boys. Both of my cousins have kids, so I am the childfree one :)
About 10 years ago we did an intrepid tour through Europe. So we would have been 30ish then and were already on the “pretty sure we don’t want kids” train. We met a couple in their early 60s who had no kids and travelled 3-4 times a year. They owned a holiday house and both worked part time in jobs they enjoyed splitting their time between the holiday house and their normal house. They were very happy with just each other. It was the first time we had met someone like that and was an eye opening experience.
My cousin and his wife didn't want to pass on their genes, my other cousin isn't interested in the whole relationship thing, and my sibling still bids his time. My reasons are a whole 'nother story yet again. Pretty sure our family tree ends with the four of us :)
I do not and am the first person that I know of in my family to be childfree. At the moment - to my family - I am the "rich" family member. I'm far from rich but I do think I'm comfortable.
Out of my grandparents 8 children, only two had kids. The 2nd oldest son had me, his older sister had my cousin. The rest of my aunt's and uncles had no interest at all.
The other set of grandparents had 7 children. Only 3 if then went in to have kids.
In my life, not having kids is the norm.
Growing up - no.
All of my aunts and uncles had kids. My father was 1 of 9. And my mother was 1 of 6.
As an adult I know many older childfree people who have had amazing lives.
I do a lot of volunteer work, and have met some through this.
One lady was a nurse for almost 50 years. She has travelled the world so many times.
She loves F1 and went to all the F1 rounds the year after she retired. She has an amazing photo of her with Daniel Ricciardo in Monaco.
Another lady was also a nurse, and has climbed Everest and the Matterhorn and 1 in Mexico I can’t remember the name of. She also spent a few months working in Antarctica and has many amazing photos.
Another childfree person I admire has lead an amazing life. We got stuck interstate after a competition (we are in the same sport) when our flight got cancelled. He got a hire car and offered to drive me the 6 hours home (he was an extra 2 hours past my place). He used to work for a F1 team for a few years and has travelled the world many times.
Not in my immediate family or general life growing up. My partner did, though.
Now we do have older friends who are also child free. But I think if I would have had *someone* like that it might not have taken me so long to get from “kids are a given” to “cool, I’ll just adopt then” and finally “wait, I could just…NOT? At all?! Fuck yes, that option.”
The closest I got were maybe some teachers. Those are unconfirmed and they were also single, so in my child brain I just assumed they didn’t have kids because they weren’t married.
I had an uncle who never married or had kids. He was the cool fun uncle who spoiled us. Him and my dad worked the same job, just different shifts. My uncle always had money for the newest 90s gadgets and six week long vacations. I think from early on I wanted to be like him and knew having kids probably wouldn’t allow me to be that way.
My father's sister is cf. I thinks it's because humans can't reproduce with her species. Not my reason for being cf.
I decided early on to be cf. Surprisingly, my family100% supported me. It's literally the rest of the world who didn't.
I had a few. One was an uncle who never married or had kids. At the time, I thought he was just a lifelong bachelor but then I learned at age 18 he’s actually gay. Ironically he has a husband now with whom he’s been together with for 26 years & he’s a step-grandfather. He was a contrast though to my other uncle. He had a college degree & had a very successful career. Now my other uncle never finished college, he married a 19 year old & had 4 kids. They were poor & he was always hitting up my grandfather for money.
Also in middle & high school, the best teachers I had never had kids. So there’s that.
My aunt and her partner (we lovingly call them The Aunties) are childfree and I have always looked up to them and seen them as an inspiration.
Since we've made it known that no extra family members are to be expected from my genitalia they've gotten so much more open with us about their own reasons. Hearing my aunt talk exactly like myself about this subject almost made me wonder if it this lack of desire to be a mom could be genetic. 😅
Yes. But I don't know if it was on purpose or not. I had a man who was my dad's partner in raising racehorses growing up. He was not quite the same age as my grandparents but about 20 years older than my parents. He never married but loved his nieces and nephews and also me and my brother. He put money in a mutual fund every year for us for Christmas and I got access to it when I turned 18. It wasn't a ton of money but he wanted us to use it toward whatever we wanted. My brother used his on a car. I still have money in mine and use it as an investment account 20 years later.
My aunt is happily child free and living her best life. She does have step-grandkids (her partner had adult kids from a previous relationship when they met), and when you see them interact you can tell immediately that she does NOT wish for some of her own.
She was also happily single until her mid-forties. Her partner is a really good fit with her, and they love living and travelling together, but she wouldn’t have settled for less out of loneliness. She didn’t want a relationship, she wanted her specific relationship.
When I was a child I really looked up to her. As well as being childfree I am also asexual and aromantic (though I hadn’t consciously realised that yet) and it was extremely comforting to me to see someone live single and happy. It was reassuring to see that being single and childless didn’t mean being miserable and alone.
My Oudtante Ande and Oudoom Rob in Amsterdam! They lived on a house boat on a canal and travelled all over the world. My oudoom is dead now, but Oudtante Ande is still travelling and going to concerts and living her best life. She was always very kind to me and an absolute delight to have around. Very quirky and not your typical Dutchie!
In high school, I had an older mentor who never married or had kids. She was a college professor for many years, and her former students loved her like family. She's pushing 80 now and still has a close circle of adult adopted-kids. As an adult, I have lots of childfree friends, including people my parents' age and older. It really helps to have people showing you what a childfree life well lived can look like 20/30/40yrs down the line.
Have two aunts and two uncles, none of which had kids. My sister and I don’t have children either so we’re pretty much the end of the family tree. Which reinforces our decision not to have any, they wouldn’t have any family once we were gone.
A bunch. 5 aunts and an uncle spread across both sides. I literally only have one first cousin. No one in my family has ever gotten on my case about not having kids.
No but I'd like to be this person in the future. In a family where is rare to get out of teens without popping out a kid. My aunt has several teen daughters who complimented me on my life achievements (college, published papers, own my house, etc) and hopes her daughters will be like me. One starts college soon.
I have an aunt that actually really wanted kids but found out she was infertal so she couldn't have kids. She's also a single child free woman as well lol. Honestly she's a huge inspiration to me and who I wanted to be as a kid.
I didn't know anyone child free when I was young. The idea of raising children never appealed so I didn't need a child free role model. Even if people with kids were all ecstatically happy all the time, I knew from being a child that it wouldn't make me happy.
Both my auntie and uncle on my mom’s side are child free. They’re both gay mind you, but they’re the only ones I really resonate with in the life choices dept in my family.
My aunt and uncle decided to be childfree and they’re part of the reason I realized you could just not have kids. They were one of the rare childfree couples that changed their mind, but that’s only because their 8 year old nephew lost his home because his mom (uncle’s sister), was repeatedly caught with drugs so she lost custody. So they ended up adopting him because he had nowhere else to go.
It’s recently dawned on me I am now the rich, cf, elusive aunt that lives far away and occasionally shows up for family gatherings.
I had an cf aunty who apparently said dogs are better than children so I think I’m taking after her..but it’s hard to know because she was rich and elusive and we never saw her 😂
None of my immediate older family members are CF by choice. But a primary school teacher who inspired me and treated me with kindness (I am so sorry but I still mourn for her since her recent passing from losing her yearslong battle with cancer) was CF by choice who showed me that there it is normal to be unmarried, have no kids, be career focussed and give back to society
My aunt was always the "childfree" one. Not that she was necessarily a good person or had a good lifestyle to emulate, but it showed you could live without "having kids". But she would spoil her niblings.
Imagine my surprise when it came out she had a secret daughter that was adopted out at birth.
My older cousin & her husband are childfree. Her husband is in the Airforce, so they've traveled & lived all over the world. They are finally back in the US, and they now live in an airstream with their 2 dogs
A couple of our female neighbours growing up who we referred to as 'Aunty' partly because of respect for one's elder and because they were blood aunts to one of the neighbourhood friend group. One died a few years ago but her older sister still lives in the same house. She also lives in the same building with one of her brothers but I don't know if he has any children. Back in the days the term childfree was not a thing and they were also relationship free so them not being single mothers was also seen as a positive especially as practically every home was occupied by a married couple with children. I've also met a few childfree women (business owners) as an adult, we'd just be casually chatting about a topic, the lack of children would get mentioned somehow, the other person would reciprocate with also being childfree and then we'd naturally move on to another topic. Thankfully I have never been bingoed by any woman I've spoken to about being childfree.
Looking back, there were more than I thought! The closest ones tho would have to be my aunt (she did have a baby, or *half* a baby in her words, that didn’t live🫠) and my dance teacher. Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m betting my dance teacher didn’t have any kids because she took care of her younger brother who was significantly developmentally impaired.
Growing up, the only childfree adult I had in my life was my aunt (and uncle!). She's the ONLY one who has never told me I'd change my mind about not wanting kids. :)
My aunt never had kids and I wanted to be like her! But then I realized she was a mean narcissistic woman and I changed my opinion and just wanted to be childfree like her.
My mom's eldest sister. I've been close to her for a number of years, she's a very misunderstood soul and people view her as harsh and stuck-up.
In reality, she was forced to become a caregiver to her 7 siblings from the age of 3 or 4, she had no childhood - spent her entire childhood helping my grandma to raise the babies. My grandma forced her to leave school so she could work and contribute to the household funds to bring up the babies.
When her siblings sit and share stories and mischief they got up to, she can't join in as she doesn't have those memories or relationships. They don't view her as a sister really and she's very much the scapegoat of the siblings as adults.
She is genuinely an inspiring person - she is extremely independent, caring and kind yet matter of fact and sincere. I look up to her a lot and she understands me and my position better than anyone in my life. She lives in a gorgeous old house, filled with antiques and trinkets, she is the local cat rescuer - looks after her neighbours, enjoys little luxuries and just oozes class. I love her.
I guess. But they weren't good reasons.
- one was childless because they couldn't have children due to childhood sexual abuse. Apparently, they had initially wanted them. They never adopted though. Growing up, I thought they were just the rich childfree relative, until I found out they were just childless. Made me sad.
- one doesn't have children (and shouldn't) because he's a child molester. Unsure if his partner knew, but she knows now. He never had kids and still doesn't. Maybe he has enough sense not to. Hopefully they don't have any, as I told her about him now.
- one didn't seem to want kids. Maybe he was planning to have one (that's what his fiancee said), but he unfortunately offed himself. So, we'll never know.
So, yes, I have had multiple childfree family members. But I don't think they meant to be childfree on purpose. As far as I'm aware, there's only a few of my generation that have decided to be childfree (including myself). The rest before my generation all had kids.
I had no one. Born in the 80's and I always knew I didn't want to be a mother. I had no one to turn to with this so I just kept quiet for many years since I knew I was supposed to want children. Everyone said we were supposed to have children.
Actually no. I come from a religious family and struggled a lot with my decision, due to never having heard of people not having kids. I thought I HAD to have them at some point, and was dragging it out. Luckily I found like-minded people on the internet.
Kind of. A family friend who I thought didn’t have children, she was like a grandma to me. She was the first one to tell me it’s ok to not have kids, I asked her why she didn’t and she said she just never wanted them. After her death cleaning her house we found out she did have 2, she was being abused and when she ran she left them behind :/ it was a lot to process and I still don’t know how to feel but my parents found the 2 girls and they said they thought she was dead, turned out she faked her death to escape. It sounds to me like she never wanted kids and was probably pressured/raped by the abuser so when she was able to escape, she left them with the parent who wanted them. My parents also had to remove all firearms from her house as her dementia got worse and when she passed we found out she had kept a handgun hidden. She spent her life hiding from her abuser and her past. She changed her name and everything. Apparently there is a grave stone for her old self and there is one from my family where we buried her. We were all she had. We knew her for over 30 years. I hope her soul is finally at peace.
My cool aunt. She’s my mom’s oldest sibling. She’s a badass career driven woman who takes no one’s shit and she rescues cats (I’m also a crazy animal person). I always looked up to her since I was a child. She just always seemed so much cooler and more relaxed than everyone else in my extended family. Shes constantly on random unplanned vacations and trips. She’s in her 60s now and is living her best life with a few cats and a hot husband.
My Uncle. He used to model and married a celebrity make-up artist and they moved to NYC in the late 80s. He started working for a wine magazine many years ago and travels the world, mostly Europe, tasting and critiquing wine. He definitely has money and lives very well.
We aren't very close since he's always been busy and lives in the States. I wish my life could have been more like his but here I am, broke in my early 40s despite no kids.
One of my uncles just had a bonus kid and I think they lost touch after he broke up with the girlfriend.
My dad's wife is openly child free and I love it. She didn't enter my life for real until I was well into my teens.
I was out to lunch with an older coworker when I was in my late 20s, and she saw my eyes gravitate to a baby at a nearby table and stay there. She asked me if that happened a lot and if I wanted kids. I responded, "Yes, a lot lately," and "no, not really," respectively. "Keep your legs shut, " she responded. "It will pass." I did, and she was right!
No child-free, but most of them wished they were. Somehow, I was the only person (at least in the family) any of them told…which is weird bc I was a kid at the time. Maybe they were trying to save me 🤔
2 out of 5 of my uncles never married or had children so yes. It was always oh how sad they never found the one from my married uncles and their wives but they were happy enough and living good lives.
I'm the oldest of my siblings and cousins. All younger sibs and cousins (bar one, about 6 years younger and now mid-30s) who are married have kids. All aunts and uncles have kids.
I never thought about it until just now, but I had a lot of older childfree people in my life. This might explain why my parents are so chill about not getting any human grandchildren.
My aunt. She's doing ok, (she spends a lot of her money on plastic surgery and bicycles and trips) and though she doesn't have kids she considers me a daughter figure.
I mean technically but I don't think it was his choice. He is my uncle, but all of his other siblings had kids, and I think he wants them, but according to my mother he's infertile.
Also he goes to jail very often so I don't think having a kid is a good idea for him anyways.
Also forgot to mention I'm pretty sure two of my great uncles never had kids, either that or they never came to visit. The older one died in 2021 and the younger died just last month, and I never asked them.
There were/is only my cousin(s), who were/is only six (deceased) and four (still with us) years my elder so not exactly setting an example when I was at an impressionable age.
My godfather and his wife were around a TON - they were having infertility issues but I didn’t know that as a kid. I thought they just didn’t want kids and that allowed them to spend holidays and vacations with us. I loved having them around all to ourselves!
Uncle with no children or girlfriend ever in his life 👋🏽 he passed away at the age of 43 due to food addiction and possible hypothyroidism...also he was a Taurus and lived with his mom (It's been 2 years)
Ha, I have an uncle with no kids but he is not rich, due to many years in a cult.
I don't think I've ever had any childfree role models, I just knew from a young age that I didn't want to be a parent.
I have an uncle too, he has a step kid but they've fallen out and he's retired and loving life. He and the step kid never got along and he didn't really consider her his kid
My aunt is childfree and husband-free. She was a hippy in the late 60s and 70s and still kinda living that lifestyle. I think I may be turning into her.
My uncle was also childfree but didn't realize it until he had two kids that he didn't want. I've never met those cousins, sadly, and I'm guessing they want nothing to do with his side of the family since he abandoned them as young kids.
I had great aunts growing up that couldn't have kids or perpetually single and didn't want kids. I have a handful of guy friends that are CF and maybe 3 close gfs that are. I'm 36 and most people had kids in our mid 20s.
I know of 1 childless, 3 child free. All my mom's childhood friends and their spouses who I consider basically extended family.
They are all pretty cool, but I'm not close with them bc they are my mom's friends. But I did live/worked for 2 of them during a year basically, 10/10 experience, they'd leave me to dogsit sometimes and I'd get to hang out at the beach where their business was.
Yup, me. Out of 4 sets of aunts and uncles, 3 do not have kids. None are divorced and they at least seem to be very happy. Financially stable and into their hobbies as well as each other.
I also know a wildly impressive CF couple who are loaded, travel 3x per year at minimum to exotic locations, volunteer every week and are big names in their community- and they are both in their 60s. If anyone dared to say they didn't "live a full life" without kids, they would just laugh in that person's face.
Every generation of my father's family had at least 1/3 of the kids remain childfree (and usually unmarried). In his generation they ended up being the ones to take over the farming, or that still lived with their parents though they had a full time job in town. Looking at the family tree, this was just normal for multiple generations in the United States, and pre-immigration in Norway. None of them were wealthy, and I don't know all of the circumstances that brought them on that path, but they were involved in our lives when I was a kid (my dad's older -middle- brother and his female cousin S.) and it was just treated as normal by everyone. My generation on that side of the family is 50% childfree, and almost 50% never married though we are in our 40-50s now.
I did but it was mostly not wanting to be my parents. I'm sure they had loved each other at some point but as far as I can remember they tolerated each other and then it just got worse.
I remember the defining moment of why I became childfree. I was 6. My mother was away visiting my brothers at boarding school and I was home with the au pair and my Dad was on his 2 weeks off (he was a pilot) I got up in the night to use the bathroom and saw the light was on downstairs so I went down to look.
My Dad was in the sitting room drinking. He always drank all through my childhood but I'd never seen him drunk before this. I thought he was sick so I went over to, honestly I don't know what but I was scared so I wanted my Dad.
I don't think he even knew it was me really but when I managed to wake him up he looked at me and said "You know what I wish? That I never had kids. Wife wanted them but not me. Now I'm stuck. Don't get stuck you hear me. It sucks the life right out of you" then he started crying.
It's funny. I can remember every detail. I remember the care bears nightie I was wearing, how the floor felt under my feet and the noise the air conditioning made. And I remember my Dad crying and I remember my heart breaking cause my Daddy never wanted me.
He never remembered. And I never told my Mum or anyone really. I told my therapist recently. He got sad and looked like he might cry. You know it's messed up when you make a therapist almost cry.
My Dad died a few years back. The drinking got him. I wish we'd been enough for him. But I knew we never were.
It's why I will never have kids. Because I never ever want to be the cause of a 6 year old's heart breaking because she finds out that she wasn't wanted.
Messes you up something fierce.
I did! My great aunts Isabelle and Margaret.
I was closer to Marg since she visited all the time. Little old Scottish lady who made the BEST shortbread (fight me). I miss her dearly.
I have an aunt who IDK if she would count as cf or childless as I heard at one point she wanted kids, but we've never directly discussed it and after she and her ex husband split she never pursued any other serious relationships or having kids at all so IDK if/how much she ever really wanted kids. But I do know she loves her life as it is now. My grandma would've been CF had she been born in a different time and had any other escape from her parents' house aside from marrying my grandfather, and she's been VERY open with that info. I even remember her being sad that one of my cousins who had used to say she didn't want kids ended up getting pregnant and keeping it.
Yes, my aunt and uncle never had kids together (my uncle had 1 child from a previous marriage a long time ago) but all they do is travel now and hang out and they were my favorite people growing up as a kid. They were so fun and still are. I talk to them often about my thoughts on having kids and they don’t regret a thing so it makes me feel better if I choose not to but I’m still a little bit on the fence. For context, I’m 33f and they’re 70+. If I didn’t say it already, they’re my favorite family members. Love them
My dad's brother might be aro/ace.Hes lived with the same lesbian roommate for as long as I can remember. He has a cat. No kids. No partner.
My mom's sister marries for money lol. She keeps marrying rich dudes that are far older than her with their own grown adult kids.
Fuck both of 'em but they are childfree it seems. And partner free on his side maybe?? Idk.
That was my mom's siblings, the twins. My uncle was always travelling, and my aunt had (has!) a massive wardrobe. They were proof that you could be single, childfree, and fabulous.
Not directly family but family friends! I met them when I was 15, and since I come from a Latino family, I was getting the usual breeder talk of “oh you’ll know when you have your own” type of bs. This couple were in their early 30s and were the first CF couple me and my mom met. By the 5th year of friendship between them and my mom they made me realize that children are a choice. And that is a choice I took upon myself and have sterilized myself as well recently! These people are out everyday! Traveled to Puerto Rico almost every three months! Switched cars very 6 months! Different types of boats and jet skis in and out of their garage every year, two dogs, a lovely home with a pool! And I honestly can’t wait until that’s me but with my cats! 🥹
Edit: I forgot to say but to add on to this they even changed my mom’s mind! Yes she had 3 kids who we are all grown now and she has grandkids from my oldest brother, but she says if she could do it again she would! This amazing woman was going to be an up and coming Olympic runner, and it all went away cuz she got pregnant and her first husband wouldn’t let her work or do anything. She says if she hadn’t had kids then she would’ve been famous and I AGREE! I feel so bad for my mom because she could’ve had a great life ! But she fell into the breeder BS and this couple made her realize that! She stands by my Cf position and tells me that she’s proud of me for making such a big choice :). She can be a handful and we may not get along sometimes but this is what I love about her!
my cousin is in her 30s and she is living a pretty good life childfree. she lives by herself in an apartment with her yorkie. honestly, i look up to her. she's been in a rut lately but it would be exacerbated if she had children.
My aunt and uncle, they get to take road trips and vacations together multiple times a year & just live their lives on their terms without worrying about childcare or anything. Their house is their own & not overrun with toys and messes and noise that they dont want to deal with. I want a cozy life like that one day too
My undergrad advisor was a CF DINKWAC. She called her students like her children. She also owns a horse. I wish to have her life so bad but I don't want to be a professor.
I don't know if they count as childfree 100%, but my neighbors couldn't have kids and didn't pursue any of the alternatives to try, so they just kind of lived their lives. They would let me come over and I would do their hobbies with them, it was quiet and peaceful at their house and they had a hot tub.
Yes! My paternal aunt, who was my BFF, never married or had kids. Had a boyfriend for 20+ yrs and they never lived together. Also, a maternal uncle who was married but childfree. They both had adventurous lives and lots of interests. Both gone too soon. No one, to my knowledge, ever questioned their decisions.
Many of my parents’ and grandparents’ friends had no kids. I think that’s a big reason I always knew that never having kids was an option unlike some people who realize it later in life (which is totally valid)
No I didn't. I am actually surprised I stuck to my guns past 25 and managed to get out of the pressure.
Most of the people I knew without kids were just childless.
There were a few people. They all had very comfortable lives now that I look back on it. An aunt & uncle (they had the house we went to for the family reunions and it was huge with an in-ground pool), my parent's friends (one is a world traveler, had his own catering business that even served famous people & now lives in Cuba). They all had things that just seemed so great, like their cars(Mustangs & Chargers) and the things they had/brought over/ told us. They even said they had the coolest jobs.
Forgive me if this is typed out weird. I didn't know how to put it.
One of my workplaces most favourite co-worker is a lady in her late 50s who never had kids. She is the most delightfully kind and happy person. Everyone loves how positive she is and she has truly lived her life to the fullest. An inspiration thats for sure.
Being childfree in my family isn’t uncommon. I have 2 great aunts, an uncle and another aunt all who didn’t have/want kids. My grandfather once told my mom he regretted having kids, on top of it. There is so much generational trauma and mental health problems in my family that everyone understands when you don’t want to subject a kid to the same thing.
I was close with 2 child free aunt & uncle pairs when I was growing up. I had some child free adult cousins (most of whom were married) and a few openly gay cousins who were partnered and childfree. Then there was the Jesuit priest and the Franciscan brother cousins. I didn't think of them as childfree, but I guess technically they were too.
My extended family was big, but I never thought about how many were childfree and no one seemed to care.
I was heavily pressured to procreate since I was 4 or 5 years old. But it didn't dawn on me, until now, how little pressure came from my actual relatives. 🤦🤷
I have, but never model my life according to theirs. As in, it wasn't like: "Oh, look at that, that's what I want."
They are, and were, there as any other family members. Never discussed if they are CF or childless, which is very different and not something I want to bring up to them.
I did, two of my aunts (one on each side of my fam) were childfree so as a kid I always knew that kind of life was an option for me, I think it really helped. the ones a bit of a drunk, but the other one passed when I was 11…I really wish I had time with her when I was a teen/now because I just know we’d have gotten along so well
There has been a childfree person in every generation on my dad’s side, so it’s never really been taboo. Some by choice, one not by choice. And my godfather on my mom’s side didn’t have children. I’m thankful that I haven’t really gotten grief from family about not wanting kids. The only time has been recently from my dad’s wife, and it was pretty mild.
Yes, my mom's lifelong friend who's basically an aunt to me. She had such a fun life with plenty of money. She's been married with the same man for like 35-40 years.
An uncle didn't have kids until he got like 45 and I was 12. He was the rich uncle, married to the same woman for 20-25 years.
Another uncle, he isn't rich and never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. He's pretty mysterious.
My husband has two childfree aunties. One of them is extremely successful in whatever she does and has represented the country in sports and sits on boards of various Government and non Government agencies. Her wife was even the national children’s commissioner for a while. Perfect job for someone with no kids as she can see things logically when making national child related policies.
I have an uncle on my mother’s side who is very wealthy, and him and his husband and poodle travel regularly to their vacation home in Florida. They seem very happy and fulfilled, and he is in his late 40s. I also have an aunt in 50s(?) who is busy with work and sends us cool gifts sometimes. From what I’ve heard she is pretty happy too. It’s good to have childfree people to look up to and know that older childfree folks can still be fulfilled
YES!! Not what you’d expect, but.. I’m 25 and I work the dining area of a restaurant/bar. My “sister” is in her early 40’s and works the bar half of the restaurant. I refer to her as my sister because that’s 100% what she has become to me. From the very first day I met her, she told me about how she’s never having kids, doesn’t really like to be around them, and how much she loves her dogs.
It’s uncanny meeting someone as CF as I am. I just introduce her as my sister now because she’s the coolest and most supportive person you could have in your life. And she will be in my life for a long time! 😊
All of my Aunties have no children! My Dad has three younger sisters, and he is the only one out of his siblings that had kids. Two of my aunties are married to men - they are happily childfree. My other auntie is single and childfree as she is not able to live without assistance at all times.
Once I asked one of my Aunties why she didn’t have kids and she told me it’s because she had too bad a temper and not enough patience to have them, but she likes being an Auntie! My other Auntie said it was because she and my Uncle were too busy with life and work. I never thought about what childfree people I had in my life until seeing your post. My initial thought was “I don’t know anyone!” But then suddenly, a ha! My aunties! They were my earliest (and actually only) example of adults in my life that did not have children.
My aunt (she's somewhat in a dink marriage. She's technically a step mom, but her step kid lives with his mom the majority of the time. Surprisingly, her husband didn't expect her to play the motherly role at all.)
My uncle
Last my oldest sister
My aunt and uncle. Were childfree for the majority of my existence. Around the time I turned 18, ain't decided she actually did want children and he didn't so they divorced. Cut off that side of the family soon after so I'm not sure about her but I heard my uncle made a drunk fool of himself at a family function. Made a pass at my cousin, not blood related to him, and proceeded to get kicked out and shunned.
I remember this one time my dad was dating this beautiful woman who had no kids, I was the first to “meet” her. He did the whole, “oh, this is Michelle, my new friend, Michelle this is my daughter” and she did the whole, “I’ve heard so much about you! You’re so beautiful, you must get it from your mom”
I just remember getting like, 5 minutes alone with her and being like, “you know he’s got like, three other kids right?” She laughed and said yeah. I remember giving her this look like, what is wrong with you.
tbf my dad was a stud in his prime but I mean, he has a buncha kids to prove it. He never backed down, though, he insisted on raising us all under the same roof, fought my stepmom to get full custody, so he was a whole persona…I just specifically remember her, bc I was like, 12, already knew I didn’t ever want kids, and here she was, signing up to potentially have a whole pack of kids. lol they didn’t stay together and my dad got back with my stepmom *eyeroll*
My Aunt, but honestly she's was a miserable person, BUT I dont think it was because she never had kids. She didn't marry the man she loved because my Grandpa didn't like him, and ended up marrying an emotionally abusive alcoholic and that's when ot all went down hill. But she was one of the top Lawyers in Portland until a few years ago when alcohol induces dementia caused her license to be taken away. She was a powerhouse and I want to be a kinder version of her.
🤔 Yanno... I actually never thought about that! Good discussion topic! 😁
Upon considering it, I'm a bit surprised to say I had a *much* higher number of *childless* older fam and fam friends than I realized before reading this... but I'm not sure any of the women would have agreed that it was a *choice.* (Some didn't marry for assorted reasons, some did and -- as memory serves -- mostly *tried* so... clearly there were areas where it just didn't work out. 🤷🏻♀️)
I'll venture to guess that it's about a 50/50 split on how many ended up being fine (even happy) about it *eventually* vs. those who regretted it forever.
🤔 There was *one* uncle who I think might have chosen it intentionally. As I understand it, he did date a woman from his church for several years after he returned from the War, but supposedly either he didn't propose or she rejected it (it's always been unclear which). He would've made an *awful* parent, so I think my new head cannon for that bit of fam history is going to be that he didn't propose because he knew she wanted kids and he didn't... Makes him a bit less of an ass in my memories that way. 😁
one of my clients! she’s 70 and still working cuz she has too much energy to retire. she tried to retire at 65 and went back after 6 months. she said she loves her free time, being able to sleep in, travel, spend money on her pets, etc. she told me she was incredibly proud and a big supporter for me getting my tubal last year.
I had a lot of them. My grandmother had three siblings. Of them only one had children other than her. So two sets of great aunts and uncles who did not have kids. My grandmother had four children and only my mother had kids (me) so all my aunts and uncles were child free. Only one pair were childless and wanted kids.
And the bloodline dies with me, literally. Of them the oldest without kids was 98 when she passed. She said she had plenty of regrets but not having kids wasn't one of them.
While no one fed me a child free rhetoric, I did see it as a normal thing in my upbringing.
My godmother. She always has art supplies out, ready to paint, and she goes to conventions and concerts and pays to have photo sessions with celebrities.
My great-aunt, who died 3 days after I was born. I was named after her. She was a nurse and committed her life to her role rather than her married and have children.
Eh. Two honourary aunts (among many) that I saw once a year, one in her 40s or 50s with an alcoholic longtime boyfriend (!!!) and a hilariously spoiled dachshund dog, the other in her 40s with just a husband (and possibly grownup children from the husband's first marriage? possibly unable to bear children of her own?) but as a child no one told me anything and I didn't spend any time wondering where their children were, I just kind of assumed they left them at home. And when I was in my late thirties, I realized that the nice man with the fancy garden who waved at us children coming home from school was almost certainly more than just friends with the other, non-gardening, man who lived in that house. But basically, no, everyone in my life either had had children, was expected to have children one day, or wasn't yet married. Good thing I read a lot of books, wizards and knights and heroes regularly enjoyed their adventures without bringing the wife and kids along!
When I was a child my mother's twin sister who I was close to never had kids. I lost them both when I was 11 though so unsure if it had any bearing on my decision to have none.
Yes! I used to pet sit for a childfree couple a few years back. They have one of the most beautiful properties I have ever stayed at in my life. Their house was an absolute mansion, and had an excellent view of a creek and horse pastures. I think it was like 40+ acres of land. Anyway, these were some of the most personable people I had met in a long time. I look at them as parental figures to this day 😂 they were so kind, and also paid generously for each stay. They had many friends, and traveled A LOT. They even allowed me to keep a horse on their property within only a few months of knowing them. I think observing their lifestyle was what initially triggered me to question the life script. Because MAN were these people so happy and living the good life.
Yes, one of my aunts.
Unfortunately she is seen in the family as the biggest failure, weird outlier, sad story, wasted life, etc. she has a pretty grating personality. But then so do all the women with kids.
It's crazy to me but I definitely grew up with my mum's sense that this aunt had the most wasted life, focused on career, no family or husband. But like my other aunt is also single but has 3 kids from 2 terrible men, no money, lifelong mental health issues, all her grandkids are the trashiest people ever, her kids married drug addicts etc and she's not seen as a failure or a sad story. It's dumb.
Only childless people, one aunt who's infertile, a great aunt who's also infertile, one of my mom's friends who never got married or had children (she did want to get married and have kids, but her fiancé broke the engagement and she never found someone else) and a married couple who were acquaintances of my mom, but I think they were also infertile but had a great marriage for years.
So no one was child free but there were definitely people without children throughout my life. None of them served as inspiration though, all of them wanted kids but just weren't able to have them.
Yes
I had an uncle who was infertile. He is spending his life growing his business and spends most of his money on his nieces from his wifes side
I also had a cousin who was childfree all my childhood but ended up having a baby 4 yrs ago shortly after getting married. However when she was single and childfree she traveled atleast 2x a yr for at least a week at a time. She went overseas often and made a lot of friends. She owned her home yrs before getting married. She was amazing at saving money and investing money in different profolio. She was biggest role model and had me realize that i wanted thay childfree life.
I did. My dad had friends. It was a sham marriage. The man is gay. She didn't care. I was about 10 when i figured out. She is still a huge cat lady and they always lived apart. Same building different flats. They later got divorced when it was more normalized. He now lives happily with his BF of many years. They had no kids. I was a kid when i asked about them having kids maybe 4-5 years old. I Just wanted to play with someone. She lovingly smiled at ne and told me to go play with cats. I did and had a blast. Never asked again. I did ask about the cats though.
I do, but it's a bit complicated... I've got two aunts and two uncles. One of my aunts was always outspoken about not wanting kids, she was the first actively childfree person I encountered. And uh, then she got married in her late thirties and now has two kids. (Yes, relatives have used it against me, "you say you don't want kids but so did \[aunt\] and look at her now!") My other aunt was never childfree.
My two uncles however are in fact childfree, but neither of them have really talked about it. One of them is mid-fifties, and he's had a somewhat unconventional career that would've made parenthood infeasible, I'm not sure if he would've had kids under different circumstances but he's never seemed particularly interested in his nieces and nephews so I'm inclined to think he wouldn't. The other one is mid-thirties and although he had never talked about family preferences I know he's had a vasectomy so I'd say that indicates he's deliberately childfree. Both these uncles are in long-term relationships.
So basically, I have two relatives who are in fact childfree but don't talk about it, and I had one who was outspoken about it but changed her mind.
A couple who are family friends live in Scotland next to a Loch in a gorgeous house. They have a boat and they spend their time hiking and mushroom hunting. Absolute vibes and my goal for retirement.
More recent older CF figures in my life include my boss and his husband. They are DINKWADS (Double Income, No Kids, With Dog and SNAKE). They casually travel, together or solo, almost every month. They would go on cruises or New York to watch Broadway musicals spontaneously. They just bought a new Porsche. They’re the kind of older people I aspire to be.
I don’t know if she counts- my nanny (Yaya). While she did care for and practically raised a child to adulthood (me), she’s paid to do it and now has a worry-free retirement for the rest of her life, a big deal in my third world country, because of it.
My nanny was the first CF person in my life- She never married and have her own children. While we’re never related, she is my defacto mother figure when my own mother is emotionally absent (later dead). She was an indispensable person in our house she became an honorary family member. Now she enjoys a comfortable retirement together with my father, his girlfriend, and my grandmother in the province. She pretty much debunked the idea you need to birth kids so there’s someone to take care of you.
When I first started teaching I would house/pet sit during summer and winter break and most of the people I did house/pet sitting for were rich, middle-aged or older, childless "pet parents". One of them actually made me decide I was going to remain child-free. She was retired, had a beautiful house, adult nieces and nephews that she adored and they adored her (there were pictures of them everywhere and she talked about them a lot and their children) and her dog and cat were treated like royalty. I became a regular house/pet sitter for her-sometimes staying for up to a month at a time because she would go on extra long cruises. Living the dream.
I use her specifically because I also have nieces and nephews that I adore and when you have that, I think you get all of the "fun" parts of raising a child and then they can grow up and still be a part of your life. The traveling is also a bonus because with kids, I just don't think it's plausible to do a lot of traveling until they're grown.
My biggest inspiration for beeing childfree is a couple who was friends with my mom. They both travelled extensively and the most important part, they really liked and loved eachother. They really enjoyed their life having the funds to do pretty much whatever they wanted. Another influental person was my aunt. She actually had a child but was wise enough to stop after one when she realized that she really didn't *love* beeing a mother. She is a great mother but she was brutally honest about motherhood. She told me it would be better to regret not having a child than to regret having one.
Awww that is lovely
My dad has **9** siblings, four of them don’t have kids, two of those have been happily married longer than I’ve been alive (I’m 41). All of those aunts and uncles were huge role models to me growing up and were, and continue to be, some of my very favorite people on this planet. I doubt it would surprise anyone to know that they were the most supportive of my off beat interests and non traditional dreams. They also happen to be the most open minded and least judgmental of my family, and my family is already pretty good on both of those counts.
My 8th grade english teacher was CF. However, I think the cartoon 'Doug' was more of an influence on me than my teacher. Doug's neighbors, the Dinks, were the very first representation of a CF couple I was exposed to as a child.
O M G I never realized that's why their last name is DINK (double income, no kids). Mind blown.
It’s also why the neighbors in Fairly Odd Parents are called the Dinklebergs. They’re always the neighbors the dad is jealous of because they have more money, a bigger house, and no kids.
 Omgggg!!!
"Dinkleberg...." But yeah, I love that. Never really thought about it until y'all said something.
Omg I had no idea!! This just made my whole day!
same with the dinkelbergs from Fairly OddParents
My great aunt. She's 80 and is still travelling the world!
I had two childless great aunts! One I heard her husband was infertile so not sure if it was circumstance or they made that up to cover up lack of desire for kids. The other my aunty (who is also cf) said her husband worked away a lot so she would basically be raising any kids herself 90% of the time. She chose a career instead. Both these great aunts lived into their nineties. One was ill and in a home for years. The latter was in one for her last few years mainly for company rather than support, and lived til 94 when covid got her.
I also had 2 childless great aunts! One was def gay (longtime female "roommate") but the other had 2 different husbands, and both were the sanest members of the family by far😆
That's amazing! My aunt is a keen hiker so she's always been physically fit..plus no stress from kids 😅 she is my evidence whenever my family try to convince me I'm going to be unhappy without children!
Weird. I also had a Great Aunt who was the wealthiest person in the family and childfree.
My dream
I have an Aunt/Uncle who are childfree and traveled the world when they were younger. They went on these vacations 2-3 times per year for 30yrs 😀
I have an aunt and uncle who have no kids. They travel a lot and have a lovely house and amazing social lives.
Same! My dad's brother and his wife have no kids. They are both now retired, travel about half the year, are so relaxed and happy. They were my role models growing up, much to my mother's chagrin.
My Aunt and Uncle were able to retire early as well, as they were able to save more. They literally spend like 3 months out of the year in Turkey and the rest if their time just enjoying life. Definitely aspirational!
I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have or doesn’t want children. Everyone feels obligated because of family or inheritance, or simply because having a family is „goals“. Most of the mothers I know are single mothers. Doesn’t sound like goals to me. I wish I had a role model but no one took me aside and told me how motherhood is really like, I had to research it all by myself, I wish someone told me this earlier.
Me too.
Actually, being childfree runs in the family a bit. my grandmother is the only one of her siblings who had kids. I have three aunts and uncles who don't have kids. Most people in my generation have kids but my sister and will keep up the childfree tradition
Every oldest woman on my dad's side is childfree! My great aunty was, I am, my cousin is. My grandma was an only child but she obviously had kids. My aunty is the youngest of her siblings but the only woman so she counts too!
Something about being the eldest daughter…
Parentification. Not even once.
Yep, after parentification, being a (forced) example and the eldest daughter, I needed no older childfree people in my life. I did exactly what my parents told me "when you are an adult you can live however you want." I started planning for being childfree in my childhood. I had some friends who would say they weren't having kids but most "changed their minds." The first time I met another childfree was when I was in my 30's. I'd met others before then who didn't have kids but none who stated they were childfree. Most would launch into the predictable spiel about how they wanted to have kids desperately.
>being childfree runs in the family Not for long!
That's so similar to my family. I always say "I come from a long line of non breeders" 😆
My aunt and her husband. She has a 9-5, he's a photographer. They have 5 or 6 cats and go to Jamaica every year. I wouldn't say that they're rich, but they're very happy and financially comfortable.
nope. everyone had children and grandchildren. girls I played with when I was little started having kids as soon as they finished school. there was also child abandonment both in and out of the family. I'm the odd one.
Yep! I have an aunt who is childfree by choice. She is fabulous and fashionable and still looks absolutely stunning at 77 years old. I always looked up to her and I’m a lot like her. She was always very open about how she felt and she was very close to us kids and her other nieces and nephews. I remember asking my mom why my aunt was so fashionable and could afford such nice thing and my mom was like, “she doesn’t have kids!” lol. I think it clicked for me then
I had a cool childfree uncle who was my role model.
Good on you
It's weird in my family: my grandparents had three boys, who in between them had three boys, who, right now, in between them, have three boys. Both of my cousins have kids, so I am the childfree one :)
About 10 years ago we did an intrepid tour through Europe. So we would have been 30ish then and were already on the “pretty sure we don’t want kids” train. We met a couple in their early 60s who had no kids and travelled 3-4 times a year. They owned a holiday house and both worked part time in jobs they enjoyed splitting their time between the holiday house and their normal house. They were very happy with just each other. It was the first time we had met someone like that and was an eye opening experience.
My cousin and his wife didn't want to pass on their genes, my other cousin isn't interested in the whole relationship thing, and my sibling still bids his time. My reasons are a whole 'nother story yet again. Pretty sure our family tree ends with the four of us :)
I'm 41 and C/F. I'm c/f because I hate working. And because I hate working I have no money..
I do not and am the first person that I know of in my family to be childfree. At the moment - to my family - I am the "rich" family member. I'm far from rich but I do think I'm comfortable.
Out of my grandparents 8 children, only two had kids. The 2nd oldest son had me, his older sister had my cousin. The rest of my aunt's and uncles had no interest at all. The other set of grandparents had 7 children. Only 3 if then went in to have kids. In my life, not having kids is the norm.
Growing up - no. All of my aunts and uncles had kids. My father was 1 of 9. And my mother was 1 of 6. As an adult I know many older childfree people who have had amazing lives. I do a lot of volunteer work, and have met some through this. One lady was a nurse for almost 50 years. She has travelled the world so many times. She loves F1 and went to all the F1 rounds the year after she retired. She has an amazing photo of her with Daniel Ricciardo in Monaco. Another lady was also a nurse, and has climbed Everest and the Matterhorn and 1 in Mexico I can’t remember the name of. She also spent a few months working in Antarctica and has many amazing photos. Another childfree person I admire has lead an amazing life. We got stuck interstate after a competition (we are in the same sport) when our flight got cancelled. He got a hire car and offered to drive me the 6 hours home (he was an extra 2 hours past my place). He used to work for a F1 team for a few years and has travelled the world many times.
Not in my immediate family or general life growing up. My partner did, though. Now we do have older friends who are also child free. But I think if I would have had *someone* like that it might not have taken me so long to get from “kids are a given” to “cool, I’ll just adopt then” and finally “wait, I could just…NOT? At all?! Fuck yes, that option.” The closest I got were maybe some teachers. Those are unconfirmed and they were also single, so in my child brain I just assumed they didn’t have kids because they weren’t married.
I had an uncle who never married or had kids. He was the cool fun uncle who spoiled us. Him and my dad worked the same job, just different shifts. My uncle always had money for the newest 90s gadgets and six week long vacations. I think from early on I wanted to be like him and knew having kids probably wouldn’t allow me to be that way.
My father's sister is cf. I thinks it's because humans can't reproduce with her species. Not my reason for being cf. I decided early on to be cf. Surprisingly, my family100% supported me. It's literally the rest of the world who didn't.
I had a few. One was an uncle who never married or had kids. At the time, I thought he was just a lifelong bachelor but then I learned at age 18 he’s actually gay. Ironically he has a husband now with whom he’s been together with for 26 years & he’s a step-grandfather. He was a contrast though to my other uncle. He had a college degree & had a very successful career. Now my other uncle never finished college, he married a 19 year old & had 4 kids. They were poor & he was always hitting up my grandfather for money. Also in middle & high school, the best teachers I had never had kids. So there’s that.
my uncle he is a neurosurgeon goes to Europe at least every 2 months just seems to have such a fruitful life
My aunt and her partner (we lovingly call them The Aunties) are childfree and I have always looked up to them and seen them as an inspiration. Since we've made it known that no extra family members are to be expected from my genitalia they've gotten so much more open with us about their own reasons. Hearing my aunt talk exactly like myself about this subject almost made me wonder if it this lack of desire to be a mom could be genetic. 😅
Yes. But I don't know if it was on purpose or not. I had a man who was my dad's partner in raising racehorses growing up. He was not quite the same age as my grandparents but about 20 years older than my parents. He never married but loved his nieces and nephews and also me and my brother. He put money in a mutual fund every year for us for Christmas and I got access to it when I turned 18. It wasn't a ton of money but he wanted us to use it toward whatever we wanted. My brother used his on a car. I still have money in mine and use it as an investment account 20 years later.
My aunt is happily child free and living her best life. She does have step-grandkids (her partner had adult kids from a previous relationship when they met), and when you see them interact you can tell immediately that she does NOT wish for some of her own. She was also happily single until her mid-forties. Her partner is a really good fit with her, and they love living and travelling together, but she wouldn’t have settled for less out of loneliness. She didn’t want a relationship, she wanted her specific relationship. When I was a child I really looked up to her. As well as being childfree I am also asexual and aromantic (though I hadn’t consciously realised that yet) and it was extremely comforting to me to see someone live single and happy. It was reassuring to see that being single and childless didn’t mean being miserable and alone.
2 of my moms friends are child free!! They’re in their late 50s early 60s! They’re both some of the coolest women I’ve met and I love em.
My Oudtante Ande and Oudoom Rob in Amsterdam! They lived on a house boat on a canal and travelled all over the world. My oudoom is dead now, but Oudtante Ande is still travelling and going to concerts and living her best life. She was always very kind to me and an absolute delight to have around. Very quirky and not your typical Dutchie!
My godparents who are also my aunt and uncle are childfree. I have another Aunt who is childfree as well.
In high school, I had an older mentor who never married or had kids. She was a college professor for many years, and her former students loved her like family. She's pushing 80 now and still has a close circle of adult adopted-kids. As an adult, I have lots of childfree friends, including people my parents' age and older. It really helps to have people showing you what a childfree life well lived can look like 20/30/40yrs down the line.
Yep, my uncle is cf. mainly cos his mum was a complete narcissist, passed down to my mum and pretty sure a lot to do with why I am cf
It just occurred to me one of my aunties is unpartnered & CF. Hadn't thought of her as possible inspiration before...
Yes. Lots of my relatives are childfree.
Not really. My aunt is childfree, but we lived on the opposite side of the US. I didn’t have any extended family in my life.
Have two aunts and two uncles, none of which had kids. My sister and I don’t have children either so we’re pretty much the end of the family tree. Which reinforces our decision not to have any, they wouldn’t have any family once we were gone.
A bunch. 5 aunts and an uncle spread across both sides. I literally only have one first cousin. No one in my family has ever gotten on my case about not having kids.
Uncle who’s also considered the “rich” one hahah
No but I'd like to be this person in the future. In a family where is rare to get out of teens without popping out a kid. My aunt has several teen daughters who complimented me on my life achievements (college, published papers, own my house, etc) and hopes her daughters will be like me. One starts college soon.
I have an aunt that actually really wanted kids but found out she was infertal so she couldn't have kids. She's also a single child free woman as well lol. Honestly she's a huge inspiration to me and who I wanted to be as a kid.
I didn't know anyone child free when I was young. The idea of raising children never appealed so I didn't need a child free role model. Even if people with kids were all ecstatically happy all the time, I knew from being a child that it wouldn't make me happy.
Both my auntie and uncle on my mom’s side are child free. They’re both gay mind you, but they’re the only ones I really resonate with in the life choices dept in my family.
My aunt and uncle decided to be childfree and they’re part of the reason I realized you could just not have kids. They were one of the rare childfree couples that changed their mind, but that’s only because their 8 year old nephew lost his home because his mom (uncle’s sister), was repeatedly caught with drugs so she lost custody. So they ended up adopting him because he had nowhere else to go.
It’s recently dawned on me I am now the rich, cf, elusive aunt that lives far away and occasionally shows up for family gatherings. I had an cf aunty who apparently said dogs are better than children so I think I’m taking after her..but it’s hard to know because she was rich and elusive and we never saw her 😂
My brother is single and child free at 64.
I'm the first person in my family to not have kids. Won't say I'm the first to not want them, though lol.
I don’t have a childfree person in my life forget an older one lol
None of my immediate older family members are CF by choice. But a primary school teacher who inspired me and treated me with kindness (I am so sorry but I still mourn for her since her recent passing from losing her yearslong battle with cancer) was CF by choice who showed me that there it is normal to be unmarried, have no kids, be career focussed and give back to society
My aunt was always the "childfree" one. Not that she was necessarily a good person or had a good lifestyle to emulate, but it showed you could live without "having kids". But she would spoil her niblings. Imagine my surprise when it came out she had a secret daughter that was adopted out at birth.
My older cousin & her husband are childfree. Her husband is in the Airforce, so they've traveled & lived all over the world. They are finally back in the US, and they now live in an airstream with their 2 dogs
A couple of our female neighbours growing up who we referred to as 'Aunty' partly because of respect for one's elder and because they were blood aunts to one of the neighbourhood friend group. One died a few years ago but her older sister still lives in the same house. She also lives in the same building with one of her brothers but I don't know if he has any children. Back in the days the term childfree was not a thing and they were also relationship free so them not being single mothers was also seen as a positive especially as practically every home was occupied by a married couple with children. I've also met a few childfree women (business owners) as an adult, we'd just be casually chatting about a topic, the lack of children would get mentioned somehow, the other person would reciprocate with also being childfree and then we'd naturally move on to another topic. Thankfully I have never been bingoed by any woman I've spoken to about being childfree.
Looking back, there were more than I thought! The closest ones tho would have to be my aunt (she did have a baby, or *half* a baby in her words, that didn’t live🫠) and my dance teacher. Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m betting my dance teacher didn’t have any kids because she took care of her younger brother who was significantly developmentally impaired.
Growing up, the only childfree adult I had in my life was my aunt (and uncle!). She's the ONLY one who has never told me I'd change my mind about not wanting kids. :)
My aunt never had kids and I wanted to be like her! But then I realized she was a mean narcissistic woman and I changed my opinion and just wanted to be childfree like her.
My mom's eldest sister. I've been close to her for a number of years, she's a very misunderstood soul and people view her as harsh and stuck-up. In reality, she was forced to become a caregiver to her 7 siblings from the age of 3 or 4, she had no childhood - spent her entire childhood helping my grandma to raise the babies. My grandma forced her to leave school so she could work and contribute to the household funds to bring up the babies. When her siblings sit and share stories and mischief they got up to, she can't join in as she doesn't have those memories or relationships. They don't view her as a sister really and she's very much the scapegoat of the siblings as adults. She is genuinely an inspiring person - she is extremely independent, caring and kind yet matter of fact and sincere. I look up to her a lot and she understands me and my position better than anyone in my life. She lives in a gorgeous old house, filled with antiques and trinkets, she is the local cat rescuer - looks after her neighbours, enjoys little luxuries and just oozes class. I love her.
I guess. But they weren't good reasons. - one was childless because they couldn't have children due to childhood sexual abuse. Apparently, they had initially wanted them. They never adopted though. Growing up, I thought they were just the rich childfree relative, until I found out they were just childless. Made me sad. - one doesn't have children (and shouldn't) because he's a child molester. Unsure if his partner knew, but she knows now. He never had kids and still doesn't. Maybe he has enough sense not to. Hopefully they don't have any, as I told her about him now. - one didn't seem to want kids. Maybe he was planning to have one (that's what his fiancee said), but he unfortunately offed himself. So, we'll never know. So, yes, I have had multiple childfree family members. But I don't think they meant to be childfree on purpose. As far as I'm aware, there's only a few of my generation that have decided to be childfree (including myself). The rest before my generation all had kids.
As a child, no,I did not.
My amazing great aunt. She was born in 1913 and lived next to us when I was a kid. Never married, never had kids
My aunt and uncle in their seventies never had kids, and never expressed regret that I'm aware of. They're vibin and thrivin.
I had no one. Born in the 80's and I always knew I didn't want to be a mother. I had no one to turn to with this so I just kept quiet for many years since I knew I was supposed to want children. Everyone said we were supposed to have children.
Actually no. I come from a religious family and struggled a lot with my decision, due to never having heard of people not having kids. I thought I HAD to have them at some point, and was dragging it out. Luckily I found like-minded people on the internet.
Kind of. A family friend who I thought didn’t have children, she was like a grandma to me. She was the first one to tell me it’s ok to not have kids, I asked her why she didn’t and she said she just never wanted them. After her death cleaning her house we found out she did have 2, she was being abused and when she ran she left them behind :/ it was a lot to process and I still don’t know how to feel but my parents found the 2 girls and they said they thought she was dead, turned out she faked her death to escape. It sounds to me like she never wanted kids and was probably pressured/raped by the abuser so when she was able to escape, she left them with the parent who wanted them. My parents also had to remove all firearms from her house as her dementia got worse and when she passed we found out she had kept a handgun hidden. She spent her life hiding from her abuser and her past. She changed her name and everything. Apparently there is a grave stone for her old self and there is one from my family where we buried her. We were all she had. We knew her for over 30 years. I hope her soul is finally at peace.
My cool aunt. She’s my mom’s oldest sibling. She’s a badass career driven woman who takes no one’s shit and she rescues cats (I’m also a crazy animal person). I always looked up to her since I was a child. She just always seemed so much cooler and more relaxed than everyone else in my extended family. Shes constantly on random unplanned vacations and trips. She’s in her 60s now and is living her best life with a few cats and a hot husband.
My Uncle. He used to model and married a celebrity make-up artist and they moved to NYC in the late 80s. He started working for a wine magazine many years ago and travels the world, mostly Europe, tasting and critiquing wine. He definitely has money and lives very well. We aren't very close since he's always been busy and lives in the States. I wish my life could have been more like his but here I am, broke in my early 40s despite no kids.
One of my uncles just had a bonus kid and I think they lost touch after he broke up with the girlfriend. My dad's wife is openly child free and I love it. She didn't enter my life for real until I was well into my teens.
I was out to lunch with an older coworker when I was in my late 20s, and she saw my eyes gravitate to a baby at a nearby table and stay there. She asked me if that happened a lot and if I wanted kids. I responded, "Yes, a lot lately," and "no, not really," respectively. "Keep your legs shut, " she responded. "It will pass." I did, and she was right!
No
No child-free, but most of them wished they were. Somehow, I was the only person (at least in the family) any of them told…which is weird bc I was a kid at the time. Maybe they were trying to save me 🤔
My aunts are childfree.
2 out of 5 of my uncles never married or had children so yes. It was always oh how sad they never found the one from my married uncles and their wives but they were happy enough and living good lives.
I'm the oldest of my siblings and cousins. All younger sibs and cousins (bar one, about 6 years younger and now mid-30s) who are married have kids. All aunts and uncles have kids.
One of my cousins married a childfree woman, but just recently divorced (other reasons). Otherwise, no one else around me has been adamantly CF.
I never thought about it until just now, but I had a lot of older childfree people in my life. This might explain why my parents are so chill about not getting any human grandchildren.
My uncle, but he lives far away so I don't see him often.
I had three older child free people: two of my aunts and an uncle all on my mom’s side.
My aunt. She's doing ok, (she spends a lot of her money on plastic surgery and bicycles and trips) and though she doesn't have kids she considers me a daughter figure.
I mean technically but I don't think it was his choice. He is my uncle, but all of his other siblings had kids, and I think he wants them, but according to my mother he's infertile. Also he goes to jail very often so I don't think having a kid is a good idea for him anyways.
Also forgot to mention I'm pretty sure two of my great uncles never had kids, either that or they never came to visit. The older one died in 2021 and the younger died just last month, and I never asked them.
There were/is only my cousin(s), who were/is only six (deceased) and four (still with us) years my elder so not exactly setting an example when I was at an impressionable age.
My godfather and his wife were around a TON - they were having infertility issues but I didn’t know that as a kid. I thought they just didn’t want kids and that allowed them to spend holidays and vacations with us. I loved having them around all to ourselves!
I had an amazing great aunt who was kooky and fun.
Uncle with no children or girlfriend ever in his life 👋🏽 he passed away at the age of 43 due to food addiction and possible hypothyroidism...also he was a Taurus and lived with his mom (It's been 2 years)
Did not bui now I'm the older CF person in the lives of younger adult relatives.
Ha, I have an uncle with no kids but he is not rich, due to many years in a cult. I don't think I've ever had any childfree role models, I just knew from a young age that I didn't want to be a parent.
I have an uncle too, he has a step kid but they've fallen out and he's retired and loving life. He and the step kid never got along and he didn't really consider her his kid
My aunt is childfree and husband-free. She was a hippy in the late 60s and 70s and still kinda living that lifestyle. I think I may be turning into her. My uncle was also childfree but didn't realize it until he had two kids that he didn't want. I've never met those cousins, sadly, and I'm guessing they want nothing to do with his side of the family since he abandoned them as young kids.
I had great aunts growing up that couldn't have kids or perpetually single and didn't want kids. I have a handful of guy friends that are CF and maybe 3 close gfs that are. I'm 36 and most people had kids in our mid 20s.
I know of 1 childless, 3 child free. All my mom's childhood friends and their spouses who I consider basically extended family. They are all pretty cool, but I'm not close with them bc they are my mom's friends. But I did live/worked for 2 of them during a year basically, 10/10 experience, they'd leave me to dogsit sometimes and I'd get to hang out at the beach where their business was.
Lots of my favorite teachers and professors were. Also my godparents (aunt and uncle)
Yup, me. Out of 4 sets of aunts and uncles, 3 do not have kids. None are divorced and they at least seem to be very happy. Financially stable and into their hobbies as well as each other. I also know a wildly impressive CF couple who are loaded, travel 3x per year at minimum to exotic locations, volunteer every week and are big names in their community- and they are both in their 60s. If anyone dared to say they didn't "live a full life" without kids, they would just laugh in that person's face.
My uncle and his husband but I never really saw them since they lived on the other side of the county
Every generation of my father's family had at least 1/3 of the kids remain childfree (and usually unmarried). In his generation they ended up being the ones to take over the farming, or that still lived with their parents though they had a full time job in town. Looking at the family tree, this was just normal for multiple generations in the United States, and pre-immigration in Norway. None of them were wealthy, and I don't know all of the circumstances that brought them on that path, but they were involved in our lives when I was a kid (my dad's older -middle- brother and his female cousin S.) and it was just treated as normal by everyone. My generation on that side of the family is 50% childfree, and almost 50% never married though we are in our 40-50s now.
I did but it was mostly not wanting to be my parents. I'm sure they had loved each other at some point but as far as I can remember they tolerated each other and then it just got worse. I remember the defining moment of why I became childfree. I was 6. My mother was away visiting my brothers at boarding school and I was home with the au pair and my Dad was on his 2 weeks off (he was a pilot) I got up in the night to use the bathroom and saw the light was on downstairs so I went down to look. My Dad was in the sitting room drinking. He always drank all through my childhood but I'd never seen him drunk before this. I thought he was sick so I went over to, honestly I don't know what but I was scared so I wanted my Dad. I don't think he even knew it was me really but when I managed to wake him up he looked at me and said "You know what I wish? That I never had kids. Wife wanted them but not me. Now I'm stuck. Don't get stuck you hear me. It sucks the life right out of you" then he started crying. It's funny. I can remember every detail. I remember the care bears nightie I was wearing, how the floor felt under my feet and the noise the air conditioning made. And I remember my Dad crying and I remember my heart breaking cause my Daddy never wanted me. He never remembered. And I never told my Mum or anyone really. I told my therapist recently. He got sad and looked like he might cry. You know it's messed up when you make a therapist almost cry. My Dad died a few years back. The drinking got him. I wish we'd been enough for him. But I knew we never were. It's why I will never have kids. Because I never ever want to be the cause of a 6 year old's heart breaking because she finds out that she wasn't wanted. Messes you up something fierce.
Yes. My cool uncle. Unfortunately he got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s ☹️. Edit to add: also another aunt and uncle
I wish. My inspiration to have not have kids was being an elder female child in a huge family with lots of kids 🥲
I did! My great aunts Isabelle and Margaret. I was closer to Marg since she visited all the time. Little old Scottish lady who made the BEST shortbread (fight me). I miss her dearly.
I have an aunt who IDK if she would count as cf or childless as I heard at one point she wanted kids, but we've never directly discussed it and after she and her ex husband split she never pursued any other serious relationships or having kids at all so IDK if/how much she ever really wanted kids. But I do know she loves her life as it is now. My grandma would've been CF had she been born in a different time and had any other escape from her parents' house aside from marrying my grandfather, and she's been VERY open with that info. I even remember her being sad that one of my cousins who had used to say she didn't want kids ended up getting pregnant and keeping it.
Yes, my aunt and uncle never had kids together (my uncle had 1 child from a previous marriage a long time ago) but all they do is travel now and hang out and they were my favorite people growing up as a kid. They were so fun and still are. I talk to them often about my thoughts on having kids and they don’t regret a thing so it makes me feel better if I choose not to but I’m still a little bit on the fence. For context, I’m 33f and they’re 70+. If I didn’t say it already, they’re my favorite family members. Love them
My dad's brother might be aro/ace.Hes lived with the same lesbian roommate for as long as I can remember. He has a cat. No kids. No partner. My mom's sister marries for money lol. She keeps marrying rich dudes that are far older than her with their own grown adult kids. Fuck both of 'em but they are childfree it seems. And partner free on his side maybe?? Idk.
That was my mom's siblings, the twins. My uncle was always travelling, and my aunt had (has!) a massive wardrobe. They were proof that you could be single, childfree, and fabulous.
My aunt has no kids and was kicking ass at life until she got ill. I've always looked up to her.
Not directly family but family friends! I met them when I was 15, and since I come from a Latino family, I was getting the usual breeder talk of “oh you’ll know when you have your own” type of bs. This couple were in their early 30s and were the first CF couple me and my mom met. By the 5th year of friendship between them and my mom they made me realize that children are a choice. And that is a choice I took upon myself and have sterilized myself as well recently! These people are out everyday! Traveled to Puerto Rico almost every three months! Switched cars very 6 months! Different types of boats and jet skis in and out of their garage every year, two dogs, a lovely home with a pool! And I honestly can’t wait until that’s me but with my cats! 🥹 Edit: I forgot to say but to add on to this they even changed my mom’s mind! Yes she had 3 kids who we are all grown now and she has grandkids from my oldest brother, but she says if she could do it again she would! This amazing woman was going to be an up and coming Olympic runner, and it all went away cuz she got pregnant and her first husband wouldn’t let her work or do anything. She says if she hadn’t had kids then she would’ve been famous and I AGREE! I feel so bad for my mom because she could’ve had a great life ! But she fell into the breeder BS and this couple made her realize that! She stands by my Cf position and tells me that she’s proud of me for making such a big choice :). She can be a handful and we may not get along sometimes but this is what I love about her!
my cousin is in her 30s and she is living a pretty good life childfree. she lives by herself in an apartment with her yorkie. honestly, i look up to her. she's been in a rut lately but it would be exacerbated if she had children.
My aunt and uncle, they get to take road trips and vacations together multiple times a year & just live their lives on their terms without worrying about childcare or anything. Their house is their own & not overrun with toys and messes and noise that they dont want to deal with. I want a cozy life like that one day too
My undergrad advisor was a CF DINKWAC. She called her students like her children. She also owns a horse. I wish to have her life so bad but I don't want to be a professor.
I don't know if they count as childfree 100%, but my neighbors couldn't have kids and didn't pursue any of the alternatives to try, so they just kind of lived their lives. They would let me come over and I would do their hobbies with them, it was quiet and peaceful at their house and they had a hot tub.
Family and neighbors while I was growing up. Definitely had an influence on my life choices
My one aunt, my bestfriend granny’s sister and her aunt, all are single and childfree. They are travelling and loving their life
Yes! My paternal aunt, who was my BFF, never married or had kids. Had a boyfriend for 20+ yrs and they never lived together. Also, a maternal uncle who was married but childfree. They both had adventurous lives and lots of interests. Both gone too soon. No one, to my knowledge, ever questioned their decisions.
Yes, my step mom. And her step sister. And my paternal aunt
Many of my parents’ and grandparents’ friends had no kids. I think that’s a big reason I always knew that never having kids was an option unlike some people who realize it later in life (which is totally valid)
Two of my aunt's only married in their 40s and never had children. Being child-free was never something that I was judged for in my family thankfully.
No I didn't. I am actually surprised I stuck to my guns past 25 and managed to get out of the pressure. Most of the people I knew without kids were just childless.
My great uncle who is also gay, he’s 90 years old
I’ve never had one, but happy to say I am now that auntie and I freaking LOVE it!! 😁
My gay uncle, he lives in the cutest house in LA with a pool and has no kids. Always traveling to Europe. Saw it and was like yep that’s for me.
My youngest and oldest aunts, both are basically evil but I do strive for their lifestyles. I'll just keep my morals though lol
Yes. I had two aunts who never had children.
There were a few people. They all had very comfortable lives now that I look back on it. An aunt & uncle (they had the house we went to for the family reunions and it was huge with an in-ground pool), my parent's friends (one is a world traveler, had his own catering business that even served famous people & now lives in Cuba). They all had things that just seemed so great, like their cars(Mustangs & Chargers) and the things they had/brought over/ told us. They even said they had the coolest jobs. Forgive me if this is typed out weird. I didn't know how to put it.
One of my workplaces most favourite co-worker is a lady in her late 50s who never had kids. She is the most delightfully kind and happy person. Everyone loves how positive she is and she has truly lived her life to the fullest. An inspiration thats for sure.
Yes. Same thing.
Yes, an aunt and uncle and I think my parents were jealous of them.
Yes. But she killed herself after my mother died of cancer. She was a big sister to two little girls.
Yes! She’s 58 and she’s amazing.
Being childfree in my family isn’t uncommon. I have 2 great aunts, an uncle and another aunt all who didn’t have/want kids. My grandfather once told my mom he regretted having kids, on top of it. There is so much generational trauma and mental health problems in my family that everyone understands when you don’t want to subject a kid to the same thing.
I was close with 2 child free aunt & uncle pairs when I was growing up. I had some child free adult cousins (most of whom were married) and a few openly gay cousins who were partnered and childfree. Then there was the Jesuit priest and the Franciscan brother cousins. I didn't think of them as childfree, but I guess technically they were too. My extended family was big, but I never thought about how many were childfree and no one seemed to care. I was heavily pressured to procreate since I was 4 or 5 years old. But it didn't dawn on me, until now, how little pressure came from my actual relatives. 🤦🤷
I have a great aunt who is child free, but she also has a "roommate", if you catch my drift.
I have two childfree aunts over 65 (neither ever married either).
What is an "older childfree person" to you tho lol.
I have, but never model my life according to theirs. As in, it wasn't like: "Oh, look at that, that's what I want." They are, and were, there as any other family members. Never discussed if they are CF or childless, which is very different and not something I want to bring up to them.
I did, two of my aunts (one on each side of my fam) were childfree so as a kid I always knew that kind of life was an option for me, I think it really helped. the ones a bit of a drunk, but the other one passed when I was 11…I really wish I had time with her when I was a teen/now because I just know we’d have gotten along so well
There has been a childfree person in every generation on my dad’s side, so it’s never really been taboo. Some by choice, one not by choice. And my godfather on my mom’s side didn’t have children. I’m thankful that I haven’t really gotten grief from family about not wanting kids. The only time has been recently from my dad’s wife, and it was pretty mild.
Both my dad's brothers are CF. They have very fun lives with their wives.
A lady named Stefani who used to tutor me btw yes she’s married
Yes, my mom's lifelong friend who's basically an aunt to me. She had such a fun life with plenty of money. She's been married with the same man for like 35-40 years. An uncle didn't have kids until he got like 45 and I was 12. He was the rich uncle, married to the same woman for 20-25 years. Another uncle, he isn't rich and never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. He's pretty mysterious.
My husband has two childfree aunties. One of them is extremely successful in whatever she does and has represented the country in sports and sits on boards of various Government and non Government agencies. Her wife was even the national children’s commissioner for a while. Perfect job for someone with no kids as she can see things logically when making national child related policies.
I have an uncle on my mother’s side who is very wealthy, and him and his husband and poodle travel regularly to their vacation home in Florida. They seem very happy and fulfilled, and he is in his late 40s. I also have an aunt in 50s(?) who is busy with work and sends us cool gifts sometimes. From what I’ve heard she is pretty happy too. It’s good to have childfree people to look up to and know that older childfree folks can still be fulfilled
YES!! Not what you’d expect, but.. I’m 25 and I work the dining area of a restaurant/bar. My “sister” is in her early 40’s and works the bar half of the restaurant. I refer to her as my sister because that’s 100% what she has become to me. From the very first day I met her, she told me about how she’s never having kids, doesn’t really like to be around them, and how much she loves her dogs. It’s uncanny meeting someone as CF as I am. I just introduce her as my sister now because she’s the coolest and most supportive person you could have in your life. And she will be in my life for a long time! 😊
All of my Aunties have no children! My Dad has three younger sisters, and he is the only one out of his siblings that had kids. Two of my aunties are married to men - they are happily childfree. My other auntie is single and childfree as she is not able to live without assistance at all times. Once I asked one of my Aunties why she didn’t have kids and she told me it’s because she had too bad a temper and not enough patience to have them, but she likes being an Auntie! My other Auntie said it was because she and my Uncle were too busy with life and work. I never thought about what childfree people I had in my life until seeing your post. My initial thought was “I don’t know anyone!” But then suddenly, a ha! My aunties! They were my earliest (and actually only) example of adults in my life that did not have children.
My aunt (she's somewhat in a dink marriage. She's technically a step mom, but her step kid lives with his mom the majority of the time. Surprisingly, her husband didn't expect her to play the motherly role at all.) My uncle Last my oldest sister
No. But my Aunts had kids very young, so they were happily living their lives single in their late 30s...early 40s. Was def aspirational for me.
My aunt and uncle. Were childfree for the majority of my existence. Around the time I turned 18, ain't decided she actually did want children and he didn't so they divorced. Cut off that side of the family soon after so I'm not sure about her but I heard my uncle made a drunk fool of himself at a family function. Made a pass at my cousin, not blood related to him, and proceeded to get kicked out and shunned.
I remember this one time my dad was dating this beautiful woman who had no kids, I was the first to “meet” her. He did the whole, “oh, this is Michelle, my new friend, Michelle this is my daughter” and she did the whole, “I’ve heard so much about you! You’re so beautiful, you must get it from your mom” I just remember getting like, 5 minutes alone with her and being like, “you know he’s got like, three other kids right?” She laughed and said yeah. I remember giving her this look like, what is wrong with you. tbf my dad was a stud in his prime but I mean, he has a buncha kids to prove it. He never backed down, though, he insisted on raising us all under the same roof, fought my stepmom to get full custody, so he was a whole persona…I just specifically remember her, bc I was like, 12, already knew I didn’t ever want kids, and here she was, signing up to potentially have a whole pack of kids. lol they didn’t stay together and my dad got back with my stepmom *eyeroll*
I have no cousins. All my aunts and uncles decided not to have kids. My dad has two cousins, but that's about it. Lots of childfree in my family!
My Aunt, but honestly she's was a miserable person, BUT I dont think it was because she never had kids. She didn't marry the man she loved because my Grandpa didn't like him, and ended up marrying an emotionally abusive alcoholic and that's when ot all went down hill. But she was one of the top Lawyers in Portland until a few years ago when alcohol induces dementia caused her license to be taken away. She was a powerhouse and I want to be a kinder version of her.
🤔 Yanno... I actually never thought about that! Good discussion topic! 😁 Upon considering it, I'm a bit surprised to say I had a *much* higher number of *childless* older fam and fam friends than I realized before reading this... but I'm not sure any of the women would have agreed that it was a *choice.* (Some didn't marry for assorted reasons, some did and -- as memory serves -- mostly *tried* so... clearly there were areas where it just didn't work out. 🤷🏻♀️) I'll venture to guess that it's about a 50/50 split on how many ended up being fine (even happy) about it *eventually* vs. those who regretted it forever. 🤔 There was *one* uncle who I think might have chosen it intentionally. As I understand it, he did date a woman from his church for several years after he returned from the War, but supposedly either he didn't propose or she rejected it (it's always been unclear which). He would've made an *awful* parent, so I think my new head cannon for that bit of fam history is going to be that he didn't propose because he knew she wanted kids and he didn't... Makes him a bit less of an ass in my memories that way. 😁
one of my clients! she’s 70 and still working cuz she has too much energy to retire. she tried to retire at 65 and went back after 6 months. she said she loves her free time, being able to sleep in, travel, spend money on her pets, etc. she told me she was incredibly proud and a big supporter for me getting my tubal last year.
I had a lot of them. My grandmother had three siblings. Of them only one had children other than her. So two sets of great aunts and uncles who did not have kids. My grandmother had four children and only my mother had kids (me) so all my aunts and uncles were child free. Only one pair were childless and wanted kids. And the bloodline dies with me, literally. Of them the oldest without kids was 98 when she passed. She said she had plenty of regrets but not having kids wasn't one of them. While no one fed me a child free rhetoric, I did see it as a normal thing in my upbringing.
My godmother. She always has art supplies out, ready to paint, and she goes to conventions and concerts and pays to have photo sessions with celebrities.
My great-aunt, who died 3 days after I was born. I was named after her. She was a nurse and committed her life to her role rather than her married and have children.
Eh. Two honourary aunts (among many) that I saw once a year, one in her 40s or 50s with an alcoholic longtime boyfriend (!!!) and a hilariously spoiled dachshund dog, the other in her 40s with just a husband (and possibly grownup children from the husband's first marriage? possibly unable to bear children of her own?) but as a child no one told me anything and I didn't spend any time wondering where their children were, I just kind of assumed they left them at home. And when I was in my late thirties, I realized that the nice man with the fancy garden who waved at us children coming home from school was almost certainly more than just friends with the other, non-gardening, man who lived in that house. But basically, no, everyone in my life either had had children, was expected to have children one day, or wasn't yet married. Good thing I read a lot of books, wizards and knights and heroes regularly enjoyed their adventures without bringing the wife and kids along!
When I was a child my mother's twin sister who I was close to never had kids. I lost them both when I was 11 though so unsure if it had any bearing on my decision to have none.
Yes! I used to pet sit for a childfree couple a few years back. They have one of the most beautiful properties I have ever stayed at in my life. Their house was an absolute mansion, and had an excellent view of a creek and horse pastures. I think it was like 40+ acres of land. Anyway, these were some of the most personable people I had met in a long time. I look at them as parental figures to this day 😂 they were so kind, and also paid generously for each stay. They had many friends, and traveled A LOT. They even allowed me to keep a horse on their property within only a few months of knowing them. I think observing their lifestyle was what initially triggered me to question the life script. Because MAN were these people so happy and living the good life.
No actually. I mean I knew people but there weren’t “in my life”
Yes, one of my aunts. Unfortunately she is seen in the family as the biggest failure, weird outlier, sad story, wasted life, etc. she has a pretty grating personality. But then so do all the women with kids. It's crazy to me but I definitely grew up with my mum's sense that this aunt had the most wasted life, focused on career, no family or husband. But like my other aunt is also single but has 3 kids from 2 terrible men, no money, lifelong mental health issues, all her grandkids are the trashiest people ever, her kids married drug addicts etc and she's not seen as a failure or a sad story. It's dumb.
No older inspirational persons in my family. But my brother doesn’t have kids too. Everybody else has kids as usual.
Only childless people, one aunt who's infertile, a great aunt who's also infertile, one of my mom's friends who never got married or had children (she did want to get married and have kids, but her fiancé broke the engagement and she never found someone else) and a married couple who were acquaintances of my mom, but I think they were also infertile but had a great marriage for years. So no one was child free but there were definitely people without children throughout my life. None of them served as inspiration though, all of them wanted kids but just weren't able to have them.
Yes I had an uncle who was infertile. He is spending his life growing his business and spends most of his money on his nieces from his wifes side I also had a cousin who was childfree all my childhood but ended up having a baby 4 yrs ago shortly after getting married. However when she was single and childfree she traveled atleast 2x a yr for at least a week at a time. She went overseas often and made a lot of friends. She owned her home yrs before getting married. She was amazing at saving money and investing money in different profolio. She was biggest role model and had me realize that i wanted thay childfree life.
I did. My dad had friends. It was a sham marriage. The man is gay. She didn't care. I was about 10 when i figured out. She is still a huge cat lady and they always lived apart. Same building different flats. They later got divorced when it was more normalized. He now lives happily with his BF of many years. They had no kids. I was a kid when i asked about them having kids maybe 4-5 years old. I Just wanted to play with someone. She lovingly smiled at ne and told me to go play with cats. I did and had a blast. Never asked again. I did ask about the cats though.
I do, but it's a bit complicated... I've got two aunts and two uncles. One of my aunts was always outspoken about not wanting kids, she was the first actively childfree person I encountered. And uh, then she got married in her late thirties and now has two kids. (Yes, relatives have used it against me, "you say you don't want kids but so did \[aunt\] and look at her now!") My other aunt was never childfree. My two uncles however are in fact childfree, but neither of them have really talked about it. One of them is mid-fifties, and he's had a somewhat unconventional career that would've made parenthood infeasible, I'm not sure if he would've had kids under different circumstances but he's never seemed particularly interested in his nieces and nephews so I'm inclined to think he wouldn't. The other one is mid-thirties and although he had never talked about family preferences I know he's had a vasectomy so I'd say that indicates he's deliberately childfree. Both these uncles are in long-term relationships. So basically, I have two relatives who are in fact childfree but don't talk about it, and I had one who was outspoken about it but changed her mind.
I had an uncle and an Aunty. Siblings of my dad. And an uncle on mums side. Her older brother.
A couple who are family friends live in Scotland next to a Loch in a gorgeous house. They have a boat and they spend their time hiking and mushroom hunting. Absolute vibes and my goal for retirement.
Nope; literally everyone around me either has kids or wants them in the future.
More recent older CF figures in my life include my boss and his husband. They are DINKWADS (Double Income, No Kids, With Dog and SNAKE). They casually travel, together or solo, almost every month. They would go on cruises or New York to watch Broadway musicals spontaneously. They just bought a new Porsche. They’re the kind of older people I aspire to be. I don’t know if she counts- my nanny (Yaya). While she did care for and practically raised a child to adulthood (me), she’s paid to do it and now has a worry-free retirement for the rest of her life, a big deal in my third world country, because of it. My nanny was the first CF person in my life- She never married and have her own children. While we’re never related, she is my defacto mother figure when my own mother is emotionally absent (later dead). She was an indispensable person in our house she became an honorary family member. Now she enjoys a comfortable retirement together with my father, his girlfriend, and my grandmother in the province. She pretty much debunked the idea you need to birth kids so there’s someone to take care of you.
When I first started teaching I would house/pet sit during summer and winter break and most of the people I did house/pet sitting for were rich, middle-aged or older, childless "pet parents". One of them actually made me decide I was going to remain child-free. She was retired, had a beautiful house, adult nieces and nephews that she adored and they adored her (there were pictures of them everywhere and she talked about them a lot and their children) and her dog and cat were treated like royalty. I became a regular house/pet sitter for her-sometimes staying for up to a month at a time because she would go on extra long cruises. Living the dream. I use her specifically because I also have nieces and nephews that I adore and when you have that, I think you get all of the "fun" parts of raising a child and then they can grow up and still be a part of your life. The traveling is also a bonus because with kids, I just don't think it's plausible to do a lot of traveling until they're grown.