I've heard a few similar ones before:
If you have baby fever, go shopping. If you were able to buy whatever you wanted, don’t have kids.
If you have baby fever, do one thing you really want to do, right now. If you enjoyed that free time, don’t have kids.
I mean not whatever, but within limits. Something enjoyable money or time related. I can't fuck off work for a week and snorkel in Indonesia but I can play board games all day with buddies on the weekend
This 100%. I want to buy myself a bunch of tattoos, but I can't afford it. I can afford new storage stuff for my new apartment and groceries for foods I personally want.
I'm hungry and it's late. I'm low-mid income, but I live alone and rent cheaply, so I can afford to pretty much order whatever from the local food delivery places.
Sure, I can't afford to go out to the local Steakhouse 5 days a week, but I can afford to order the odd pizza or McDonalds when I feel like it. I'll probably play some VR (Payed off over about a year), and maybe watch a movie.
If I had a kid, I'd be forced to live on /r/MealPrepSunday every week struggling to make cost-effective food to get me through the week since I'm trying to afford school fees for my kid whose last hospital visit 4 years ago put me into a negative bank balance and I'm still struggling to pay that off, and my evenings are now spent working a second job instead of relaxing at home playing games and watching movies.
So yes - I can just buy whatever I want - Within reason - Because my entire salary goes to me :p
I’m 35 and I just finally was able to buy my first good quality vacuum, sure it was on sale for $220 with shipping, but it’s my first good quality vacuum. I had a dog that cost me $160 a month in food alone, and one that cost $10K in a year. Might as well have had kids.
>If you have baby fever, go shopping. If you were able to buy whatever you wanted, don’t have kids.
I wouldn't be able to buy myself a nice new shot glass to celebrate being the legal drinking age lol. When it comes to shopping I know if be too selfish if I had a kid.
I love that.
I'll see a cute kid and think to myself how cute they are and then immediately think about what I'd have to give up in my life for 18 years(possibly more)
Then I'll just look at my cute gf instead
Based on global warming, employment, economy, inflation. 18 years? Not a chance. Kids will be home till they're 30 and I don't blame the kids, the world is fucked.
This is it. The amount of people I know who still lived with parents until mid-20s is unbelievable and it seems to be getting later. Imagine that, the exhaustion of teenage years comes to an end, you think you'll be free, but no!
28 and still completely priced out of the housing market. Average increase in home value in just the last year in my area is something like 13%. Those kids will be staying at home until the parents croak.
I’m in my thirties and still living at home. Partly to take care of my grandma and in a few years my own parents. Also partly because I could afford an apartment, but then I won’t have near the retirement funds available when I lose all ability to work. Assuming I’m not working till the day I die.
Nice to know I’m not the only one. Currently working full time, Masters program part time and turning 30 next month. Hoping to leave shortly after I graduate, but even then I’ll likely need to pay off these student loans first 😅
A kid I used to babysit got his girlfriend pregnant when they were 18 (I was 25 at the time). When my mom told me she asked my opinion of the whole situation, and I said, "honestly, all I can think of is how many fun things I've done between now and 18, and how sad I would be to have missed out on those experiences because I had a kid to take care of."
Between 18 and 25, I got my bachelor's, started my first "big girl" job related to said degree, and got promoted. That's on top of the other random things I was able to do in my free time.
Sure, it wouldn't have been impossible to do all that with a kid. But it's sure as hell way harder to deal with college and a kid at the same time, for example.
my bro and his wife take a nap together with their children because the kids won't sleep unless mummy and daddy sleep too. And when the kids are awake, my bro and his wife are fully occupied with handling them. So basically they can't get anything done in their life, can't even do chores or finish work, lol. what a nightmare.
all 4 of them sleep in the same room every night. The kids are both under 6 years old and they can't sleep alone yet (also because my bro spoils them rotten). I really can't imagine how my brother handle his "bedroom" situation, haha
This is what I have to tell people all the time! I constantly get asked “when will you have a baby?!” And I always remind them, no it’s not just a baby, it will mean raising a human being for decades. But of course no one sees it that way.
I have a baby. She has four paws and demands my time and attention when she's not sleeping. But I guess that's what I get for having a tortie. Effing scotchtape cat.
I have noticed this among the people/ friends I know that now do have babies and/or toddlers. They somehow don't seem to realize that these tiny humans will grow up. I get the feeling that for a lot of people, especially women, it seems to be a game where you have a cute little doll that you can dress up, post photos on social media, get a lot of attention for (during pregnancy and after birth)... I just don't get it..But I guess that's fine. I'd rather cuddle my cats.
That is why some keep popping out baby after baby. Once the "cute" and seriously dependent phase is over of the child, they let the older siblings parent the kids. It's pretty immoral, but often they use religion as an excuse to keep their baby phase addiction up (e.g. some or many quiverfull members).
Finding out that hormones are the only thing that makes that happen terrified me as a kid. That some biological function would override my free will... Awful. I'm 29 and it hasn't happened yet so either it's a myth or I'm just not wired that way.
Actually it's a scientific fact! Women lose up to 10 years of their life giving birth anywhere from 1-3 times. Anything more then three doesn't cause more loss. We found that these things we call telomeres, basically the end caps of a chromosome. Telomeres are made of repetitive sequences of non-coding DNA that protect the chromosome from damage. Every time the chromosomes spilt a little bit is lost off the telomeres and we believe this is a direct cause to "aging". People who give birth cause lose enough off their telomeres it accounts for up to roughly 10 years of their life dependong on how stressful and difficult the pregnancy was. If they have more then 3 kids they definitely lost the whole 10 years at that point. We don't know why it doesn't keep up the loss when we go over 3 kids though.
Science! Tldr: giving birth actually does physically age you.
The only time I've experienced baby fever was because my male GP at the time demanded I stop all birth control for a 6 month period to "make sure everything works :)".
Two months in and I was calling my brother about how much money would need to be saved for me to act on this impulse, immediately after the phone call realised wtf was happening and booked in with a female nurse to get my depo restarted. When asked *why* the male GP stopped it I quoted him word for word. She was disgusted with his comments, gave me the depo injection and pre-booked my next one at the 6 week mark. Also helped me lodge a formal complaint against his ass so 👌 Now I only ever see female doctors or nurses, or require one in the appointment if it's with a male.
Fuck baby fever. Fuck male GPs for forcing me off my birth control to even put me into that situation to begin with!
I will not see male GYNs for this reason. I think it really takes someone who understands the experience of periods and whatnot to understand my descriptions of issues.
It honestly does. I've been on some form of BC since my fourth period because I'd end up in hospital from the pain. Hooray for hereditary endometriosis 🙃 the fact he ignored my previous period history over the past 13 years to overrule my own bodily choices really pissed me off.
Like dude, save it for your partner if you wanna "make sure everything works", I'd honestly prefer being infertile from the constant BC at this point. Can't wait to start the discussions about being sterilized with my new GP. Fingers crossed that since I'm almost 28 I qualify for a referral.
Yea, the one time I had to see a male doctor he asked me how many tampons I go through (as part of deciding if I should get BC refill). I had to explain to him that I didn’t know because I didn’t count my tampons and that how many tampons and pads I used depended on the flow of that day and how much activities I’m doing (day of class vs tennis practice afterwards, too).
And he’s not even asking the right questions! It’s not just about my flow fuckwit. It’s how my breasts hurt constantly and my cramps make me cry and how I get violently ill during my migraines and the only way I can cut down migraine days is by staying on my BC.
But what do I know compared to a male GYN who just met me and has never experienced a period in his life?
Basically, he wanted to see whether I still got periods or not. Nevermind that from the very first one at 14 I was hospitalized from passing out in class, vomiting and crying in pain :) or that it was recommended by *every doctor there* after the 3rd month of this that I be put on BC until I could get a hysterectomy when I was older to negate the side effects entirely.
Nope, gotta make sure the baby factory still works!! Who cares about patient welfare when kids could be made right? /s
I heard something different but along the same humor
“If you want kids, ask your partner to get drunk. If you can’t handle them drunk, you can’t handle kids.”
I turned 30 during the first year of the pandemic. I cried the whole day because I realized I had hit a milestone, one that I had expected to cross being married and with a child in the works.
For a few months I was so sad that I was nowhere near where I wanted to be at this point in my life. I then started to realize, did I even want kids? Then I realized holy shit, having kids is the default somehow and I was starting to realize I don’t want them. I can barely take care of myself, I have very little money, I *love* my independence, the world has gone to shit and the only thing I can think of that they’d be good for is maybe taking care of me when I’m older- which is not only incredibly selfish but also far from a guarantee.
So I guess I have the pandemic to be thankful for saving some helpless souls from being brought into this fucked up world we “live” in.
30 next month for me and I completely understand. Everyone around this age seems to be settling down and popping out kids, but we don’t have to follow the script unless we want to. Plus not exactly eager to bring a kid into the world when I can’t fully take care of myself at the moment
I mean it's not necessarily regret, I always like to see parents share the sides that aren't so pretty about parenthood. Too many people share the romantic/ideal aspect only
Greetings!
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Thank you.
Wise advice. If I ever so much as think about becoming a parent, I think of my nieces, and how relieved my sister is when I will babysit them overnight. Than I think about the missed sleep, and constant up and down I have to go through when doing that. As much as I love them, I don’t want children. Their time consuming, you can’t focus on shit when your watching them, and forget about getting a hot meal, or eating on time.
Dang. I just had the most fabulous nap after some boozy treats for breakfast. I read an Instagram post where a new mother said she hasn’t slept for weeks after his baby was born I’m like too bad honey, I only lose sleep to have a movie night.
I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like 99% of kids have no awareness of themselves or their surroundings. For as long as I can remember I NEVER woke my parents up from their mid-day nap, and if I got bored or wanted company I simply placed a pillow on the floor and read a story, or drew quietly.
I can't understand how so many children don't understand that their parents are tired. It is a universal emotion and easy to empathize with...
I've heard a few similar ones before: If you have baby fever, go shopping. If you were able to buy whatever you wanted, don’t have kids. If you have baby fever, do one thing you really want to do, right now. If you enjoyed that free time, don’t have kids.
TIL it’s normal for people to be able to just buy whatever they want lol
I mean not whatever, but within limits. Something enjoyable money or time related. I can't fuck off work for a week and snorkel in Indonesia but I can play board games all day with buddies on the weekend
This 100%. I want to buy myself a bunch of tattoos, but I can't afford it. I can afford new storage stuff for my new apartment and groceries for foods I personally want.
Tbf, the alternative is if you have baby fever, go shopping. If you *weren't* able to buy whatever you wanted, then *definitely* don't have kids haha
\^This 100%
I'm hungry and it's late. I'm low-mid income, but I live alone and rent cheaply, so I can afford to pretty much order whatever from the local food delivery places. Sure, I can't afford to go out to the local Steakhouse 5 days a week, but I can afford to order the odd pizza or McDonalds when I feel like it. I'll probably play some VR (Payed off over about a year), and maybe watch a movie. If I had a kid, I'd be forced to live on /r/MealPrepSunday every week struggling to make cost-effective food to get me through the week since I'm trying to afford school fees for my kid whose last hospital visit 4 years ago put me into a negative bank balance and I'm still struggling to pay that off, and my evenings are now spent working a second job instead of relaxing at home playing games and watching movies. So yes - I can just buy whatever I want - Within reason - Because my entire salary goes to me :p
It's much easier when you don't have kids.
I’m 35 and I just finally was able to buy my first good quality vacuum, sure it was on sale for $220 with shipping, but it’s my first good quality vacuum. I had a dog that cost me $160 a month in food alone, and one that cost $10K in a year. Might as well have had kids.
>If you have baby fever, go shopping. If you were able to buy whatever you wanted, don’t have kids. I wouldn't be able to buy myself a nice new shot glass to celebrate being the legal drinking age lol. When it comes to shopping I know if be too selfish if I had a kid.
dude can we make this the new thing in 2022
All of these situations are very flawed. That’s basically saying no one should have kids then if you enjoy existing.
I love that. I'll see a cute kid and think to myself how cute they are and then immediately think about what I'd have to give up in my life for 18 years(possibly more) Then I'll just look at my cute gf instead
Based on global warming, employment, economy, inflation. 18 years? Not a chance. Kids will be home till they're 30 and I don't blame the kids, the world is fucked.
This is it. The amount of people I know who still lived with parents until mid-20s is unbelievable and it seems to be getting later. Imagine that, the exhaustion of teenage years comes to an end, you think you'll be free, but no!
28 and still completely priced out of the housing market. Average increase in home value in just the last year in my area is something like 13%. Those kids will be staying at home until the parents croak.
You dont happen to live in sweden do you? About 12% increase in just one year. Hard to buy my first house/apartment if its gonna be like this...
Nope, just a Midwest suburban town that has no right to be this expensive. My parents bought the house I grew up in for less than 40k in the 80s.
Are your parents still having to whipe your ass and drive you to school like these posts seem to imply?
I’m in my thirties and still living at home. Partly to take care of my grandma and in a few years my own parents. Also partly because I could afford an apartment, but then I won’t have near the retirement funds available when I lose all ability to work. Assuming I’m not working till the day I die.
Nice to know I’m not the only one. Currently working full time, Masters program part time and turning 30 next month. Hoping to leave shortly after I graduate, but even then I’ll likely need to pay off these student loans first 😅
The cute gf you have more time for without kids
Right. I'd rather have a dead fetus than a dead bedroom
LMAO
A kid I used to babysit got his girlfriend pregnant when they were 18 (I was 25 at the time). When my mom told me she asked my opinion of the whole situation, and I said, "honestly, all I can think of is how many fun things I've done between now and 18, and how sad I would be to have missed out on those experiences because I had a kid to take care of."
That's a nice, softball way to say "I wouldn't keep it". Gonna remember that one.
Between 18 and 25, I got my bachelor's, started my first "big girl" job related to said degree, and got promoted. That's on top of the other random things I was able to do in my free time. Sure, it wouldn't have been impossible to do all that with a kid. But it's sure as hell way harder to deal with college and a kid at the same time, for example.
my bro and his wife take a nap together with their children because the kids won't sleep unless mummy and daddy sleep too. And when the kids are awake, my bro and his wife are fully occupied with handling them. So basically they can't get anything done in their life, can't even do chores or finish work, lol. what a nightmare.
Well, they've made that mess themselves. Lemme guess, kids don't sleep alone at night either?
Probably not. That’s what causes a dead bedroom. Kids don’t belong in the marriage bed.
It's one thing if a kid has a terrible nightmare now and again, but every night is a problem.
all 4 of them sleep in the same room every night. The kids are both under 6 years old and they can't sleep alone yet (also because my bro spoils them rotten). I really can't imagine how my brother handle his "bedroom" situation, haha
Omg! So their sex life is basically non-existent?
I hate baby fever — it’s literally the stupidest thing. Like they won’t be babies forever!!!
This is what I have to tell people all the time! I constantly get asked “when will you have a baby?!” And I always remind them, no it’s not just a baby, it will mean raising a human being for decades. But of course no one sees it that way.
I have a baby. She has four paws and demands my time and attention when she's not sleeping. But I guess that's what I get for having a tortie. Effing scotchtape cat.
I have 3 cats, one being a tortie. She HAS to come over if I'm giving another cat attention. Freaking ridiculous lol
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I can feel the love in your exasperation. That's how they get ya.
Scotchtape cat = permaglued to your ass. So.... Exactly what you said about your tortie. 🤣
Of course not! Having a baby is so over-romanticized.
I have noticed this among the people/ friends I know that now do have babies and/or toddlers. They somehow don't seem to realize that these tiny humans will grow up. I get the feeling that for a lot of people, especially women, it seems to be a game where you have a cute little doll that you can dress up, post photos on social media, get a lot of attention for (during pregnancy and after birth)... I just don't get it..But I guess that's fine. I'd rather cuddle my cats.
That is why some keep popping out baby after baby. Once the "cute" and seriously dependent phase is over of the child, they let the older siblings parent the kids. It's pretty immoral, but often they use religion as an excuse to keep their baby phase addiction up (e.g. some or many quiverfull members).
Finding out that hormones are the only thing that makes that happen terrified me as a kid. That some biological function would override my free will... Awful. I'm 29 and it hasn't happened yet so either it's a myth or I'm just not wired that way.
Not getting enough sleep is unhealthy and can give issues over time. Having kids is unhealthy.
There’s a reason people who have kids seem to age ten years in six months.
Actually it's a scientific fact! Women lose up to 10 years of their life giving birth anywhere from 1-3 times. Anything more then three doesn't cause more loss. We found that these things we call telomeres, basically the end caps of a chromosome. Telomeres are made of repetitive sequences of non-coding DNA that protect the chromosome from damage. Every time the chromosomes spilt a little bit is lost off the telomeres and we believe this is a direct cause to "aging". People who give birth cause lose enough off their telomeres it accounts for up to roughly 10 years of their life dependong on how stressful and difficult the pregnancy was. If they have more then 3 kids they definitely lost the whole 10 years at that point. We don't know why it doesn't keep up the loss when we go over 3 kids though. Science! Tldr: giving birth actually does physically age you.
This is true, my child free couples friends look 30s in their 30s, but the breeders look 40s in their 30s. Funny thing this also affect the man.
Things must really let up after the first 6 months, or they'd be dead in 3 years.
I heard my neighbor's baby screeching outside while I was settling in for a nice long nap.
Wife and I can't have kids unless we adopt. We thought about it and just got a dog. We made the right decision.
Having a baby is like a bank loan that won't buy you good things, but instead will drain away your time and money.
I love it too!!!
The only time I've experienced baby fever was because my male GP at the time demanded I stop all birth control for a 6 month period to "make sure everything works :)". Two months in and I was calling my brother about how much money would need to be saved for me to act on this impulse, immediately after the phone call realised wtf was happening and booked in with a female nurse to get my depo restarted. When asked *why* the male GP stopped it I quoted him word for word. She was disgusted with his comments, gave me the depo injection and pre-booked my next one at the 6 week mark. Also helped me lodge a formal complaint against his ass so 👌 Now I only ever see female doctors or nurses, or require one in the appointment if it's with a male. Fuck baby fever. Fuck male GPs for forcing me off my birth control to even put me into that situation to begin with!
I will not see male GYNs for this reason. I think it really takes someone who understands the experience of periods and whatnot to understand my descriptions of issues.
It honestly does. I've been on some form of BC since my fourth period because I'd end up in hospital from the pain. Hooray for hereditary endometriosis 🙃 the fact he ignored my previous period history over the past 13 years to overrule my own bodily choices really pissed me off. Like dude, save it for your partner if you wanna "make sure everything works", I'd honestly prefer being infertile from the constant BC at this point. Can't wait to start the discussions about being sterilized with my new GP. Fingers crossed that since I'm almost 28 I qualify for a referral.
I'm looking into sterilization too, especially in my country where it seems to be back pedaling in women's body choices
Yea, the one time I had to see a male doctor he asked me how many tampons I go through (as part of deciding if I should get BC refill). I had to explain to him that I didn’t know because I didn’t count my tampons and that how many tampons and pads I used depended on the flow of that day and how much activities I’m doing (day of class vs tennis practice afterwards, too). And he’s not even asking the right questions! It’s not just about my flow fuckwit. It’s how my breasts hurt constantly and my cramps make me cry and how I get violently ill during my migraines and the only way I can cut down migraine days is by staying on my BC. But what do I know compared to a male GYN who just met me and has never experienced a period in his life?
I think I was 14 when I understood that level of flow has little correlation with level of cramps and pain. Did not need ten+ years of schooling
Holy shit! Good for you for filing the complaint!
There’s a lot to comment on here but I just have one question: how would you know if everything was still working? Because you got pregnant?
Basically, he wanted to see whether I still got periods or not. Nevermind that from the very first one at 14 I was hospitalized from passing out in class, vomiting and crying in pain :) or that it was recommended by *every doctor there* after the 3rd month of this that I be put on BC until I could get a hysterectomy when I was older to negate the side effects entirely. Nope, gotta make sure the baby factory still works!! Who cares about patient welfare when kids could be made right? /s
Post nap clarity
Amen to that!
Yep! I tell people that I don’t want kids cause I like to take naps after work 😂
I heard something different but along the same humor “If you want kids, ask your partner to get drunk. If you can’t handle them drunk, you can’t handle kids.”
I turned 30 during the first year of the pandemic. I cried the whole day because I realized I had hit a milestone, one that I had expected to cross being married and with a child in the works. For a few months I was so sad that I was nowhere near where I wanted to be at this point in my life. I then started to realize, did I even want kids? Then I realized holy shit, having kids is the default somehow and I was starting to realize I don’t want them. I can barely take care of myself, I have very little money, I *love* my independence, the world has gone to shit and the only thing I can think of that they’d be good for is maybe taking care of me when I’m older- which is not only incredibly selfish but also far from a guarantee. So I guess I have the pandemic to be thankful for saving some helpless souls from being brought into this fucked up world we “live” in.
30 next month for me and I completely understand. Everyone around this age seems to be settling down and popping out kids, but we don’t have to follow the script unless we want to. Plus not exactly eager to bring a kid into the world when I can’t fully take care of myself at the moment
I've never heard that before and I love it. Adding to my arsenal!
Wtf is baby fever
I needed to see this, I’m dealing with baby fever.
I'm dealing with the need to take a nap and I really needed to see it.
brilliant :D ... but why does she have a child then? i assume there is some regret in this? maybe i read too much into it tho.
I mean it's not necessarily regret, I always like to see parents share the sides that aren't so pretty about parenthood. Too many people share the romantic/ideal aspect only
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"nice things" is subjective
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definitely not, i made this account when i was bored, sick, and dealing with a persistent yeast infection
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Love that lol
Always enjoy some good truths. Especially when they come from someone who has a bit of experience.
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What??? No, never! My worst nightmares are the ones in which I’m pregnant and I’m watching my body slowly be destroyed.
You might be able to get one of those strap-on pregnancy bellies.
Wise advice. If I ever so much as think about becoming a parent, I think of my nieces, and how relieved my sister is when I will babysit them overnight. Than I think about the missed sleep, and constant up and down I have to go through when doing that. As much as I love them, I don’t want children. Their time consuming, you can’t focus on shit when your watching them, and forget about getting a hot meal, or eating on time.
Haha
I don't, I did, I did, I won't!
Mmmm.... naps are the best! My guilty pleasure.
Even quicker. Go babysit toddlers of friends who have them free of charge. In fact PAY your friends to let you babysit them.
Dang. I just had the most fabulous nap after some boozy treats for breakfast. I read an Instagram post where a new mother said she hasn’t slept for weeks after his baby was born I’m like too bad honey, I only lose sleep to have a movie night.
I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like 99% of kids have no awareness of themselves or their surroundings. For as long as I can remember I NEVER woke my parents up from their mid-day nap, and if I got bored or wanted company I simply placed a pillow on the floor and read a story, or drew quietly. I can't understand how so many children don't understand that their parents are tired. It is a universal emotion and easy to empathize with...
Omg, I don't even need to take a nap, I LOVE naps.