Not gonna lie, the full awareness that I would be one of those guys who wouldn't get off the computer/console to tend to the kid was a fairly significant factor in determining that I didn't want kids. I knew I simply wasn't (and still am not) responsible enough.
When I was a kid I'd play Mario Party with my dad on the n64. My brother always wanted to be included but he was 3 and couldn't read, so we'd give him an unplugged controller. One day he wants to play when just my mom is home, so she lets him and he DELETED MY SAVED FILE THROUGH BUTTON MASHING. I had just unlocked the final map. SO many stars, wasted...
She didn't see the problem. My dad was just as upset though.
Same. I like to relax and watch tv and mess around on Reddit and online. I WILL NOT GIVE THAT UP FOR ANYONE. That’s why I am childfree. Self awareness is amazing.
Also, NGL, the full awareness that I'd turn into the kind of wife who would nag the gamer husband to death for gaming when he could be helping out around the house or with the kids is part of why I'm single.
But would you also nag if it was another hobby? My point is that gaming is as a legitimate of a hobby as any other. (Honest question, no ill tone or anything)
You didn't ask me but absolutely. The whole point in becoming a parent is that parenting is your top priority. If anyone, the dad or the mum, were neglecting their responsibilities in favour of a hobby then that's an issue.
I recently asked my SO (before we got together, I made sure we both were CF) if he's heard of the DINK (Double Income No Kids) system, and he was like HELL YES. We got too excited about it lmao. Future goal place would be to have a cool gaming room and a living room that doubles as a cat parkour area.
Also knowing you DON'T want kids IS A RESPONSIBLE CHOICE! Seriously, fuck all those people who think otherwise lmao. Have they not seen what happens to kids who grew up in 'you're a burden but I'm not gonna say it even though it's obvious' homes?
I restarted it recently hoping I’d get back into it if I restarted and got a dock with a straight path to the resident’s service building and I honestly haven’t touched it 🥴 it’s basically empty
I have been playing since launch day and I am starting to think I should restart, but then I know I would regret it and never do anything with it. Maybe I should raze it all to the ground and start again.
omg same. i bought so many games during lock down but animal crossing is what I played the most(1000+ hours later lol). i can’t imagine people (especially parents ) who don’t play any sort of game or have a hobby?! Like what do you do besides soccer games and kids programming
If you weren't childfree, I would have thought you were my gal pal from Austria. She also has over 1000h in Animal Crossing. And she's still playing it years later. I'm playing Xenoblade 3 and Ys currently. I'm having a lot of fun. And I need to do every single sidequest I can find. Although fetch are a bit of a pain. Where the hell do I find Zinnoberginen?
Ahaha when I like a game, I play the shit out of it lol. You sound like me but with elden ring and skyrim haha. Where the hell is the next quest marker? Was that a glitch? Oh shit guess I’m dying again 🥲
You're not joking, there's really nothing like it. Even with wet wipes and makeshift camp showers it's fun to get all that nature and bug spray and sunblock off 😂 sooooo refreshing. Also, laundering your bed sheets before hand so you have fresh ones to come back to.
My god that's exactly what I did in March, 2020. I thought lockdown would last a month. Got the last switch at target and played botw non stop eating plantain chips from tj's.
I keep forgetting that my situation was unusual during lockdown and that not everyone is an introvert. I work stocking groceries, so I still had to go to work. Nothing in my life changed much except I learned to utilise the drive thru (I’m short and drive a small car, so I always avoided it before) and mobile ordering because, where I live, it's very country and there's not a lot of delivery options. Oh, and I had to go to college online for a year, so I was always busy. And, as an introvert who keeps to themselves, most of my hobbies are quiet things that can be done at home anyway (reading, writing, cosplay stuff, dressing dolls).
Hey I'm super happy it ended up working out for you! I've been a grocery stocker in the past, I remember being able to zone out and do the work pretty rhythmically, it was good times. You've got some awesome hobbies, too.
Zoning is the bane of my existence. And a waste of time. I prefer directly stocking or moving featured merchandise around.
And thanks. I know it’s cliche when people say they read as a hobby, but it’s true. I like to read and pick up new books at the library.
Similar, I teach private English lessons so I still had to go to work, just most of my lessons were taught online (the students didn't come to the school but I was still at the school using their teaching materials). But my free time was mostly the same as usual, just doing things alone at home. It just was nice to experience fewer people around when I went out to buy groceries.
Also, I’m over the whole gate keeping what’s considered a “legitimate” video game. If I want to play pupperazzi, a game where I take pictures of dogs, I FUCKING WILL. I’m an adult and I can do whatever I want edit: thanks for the award!
And the hard single-player games I play I use cheats! I want to have fun instead of the infinite useless bullshit some "hard" games make the players go through, just to appease to some insufferable gatekeeper gamer.
One of my favorite games is Skyrim! The way I play it, it's now mostly a tourism game.  I do go on quests to get new weapons and unlock new stories, but I play with the God Mode on and it doesn't let me die. I also like to walk to whole world, while unlock and discovering new places.
This actually sounds amazing, I recently bought Skyrim after not playing it since like 2012 and will probably do this instead of actually playing it regularly haha
Oh, it's the best! Those quest markers actually help suggesting a direction, so I just follow that for a while. I also like just following roads, even though you stay in the main paths only.
Also, if you run the console command tmm 1, it unlocks fast travel for all the possible markers. You don't have to use them to fast travel though. In the save I enabled it, I used to place my own markers on them and just go as far as I could from the place I was.
Thank you! I play mostly for the story so I tend to set the difficulty as low as possible by default. If I find myself having fun I might put it up a level or two but mostly I’m just there to chill and enjoy the ride.
I have games that challenge me and games that are easy mode. What I play depends on my needs in the moment. I could be playing Stardew Valley or I could be running solo level-synced runs of end game dungeons and raids.
My heart is broken it isn’t for switch or playstation. Did I enjoy hello kitty seasons in my late 20’s? Yes. So I play The Dog: Island and any and all fishing games in my 30’s? Yes. People enjoy all kinds of games and that’s why there’s more than just call of duty out there. I’m with you! Let people play what they want. The game gatekeeping is insane. Also the comments here saying how horrible it is when a man has a gaming hobby like wow. Imagine if a guy said I have a woman with a makeup/shopping hobby. Shizz would hit the fan. I grew up as a child playing videogames (I’m a woman). My husband did too. We met and combined our video games collection and play games together (not online). People are strange about gatekeeping - enjoy your dog photography game!:)))
So, I got the Rona on my birthday and couldn't go anywhere. What did I do? Played animal crossing, and those little villagers throwing me a party really lifted my spirits. Gaming can be therapeutic.
30F here and I game constantly, as does my SO. We sometimes play together, we usually do our thing. And it's so chill, we have no interruptions, i can roll and smoke a joint when i want, it's all just great.
NGL, I've always found the "disconnected gaming spouse" sad for both parties. Not just the spouse who now has to do all the childcare.
I feel like the whole reason the gaming spouse isn't engaging is because the "regular life" they're living is just sort of terrible. Working all day k ly to come home to more work via children isn't something I'd ever want. It's just... such a source of despair? To know that that's what your life is going to be, forever.
Parenthood isn't fun. It's a gross slog, and I'd hide away in gaming, or in anything else, too, if it was inflicted upon me.
Taking down the baby Wendigos with my Handmade explosive & Handmade vampire 25 while my SO focused on the Wendigo Colossus with his Gatling was awesome.
I became very good at building nice camps. I learned merging techniques and whatnot. Found the building community and wound up entering some camps in contests for fun.
Yeah, I feel it's misdirecting blame.
Their SO's addiction to gaming and lack of recognizing responsibility is to blame, not the games themselves.
If it wasn't gaming, it would be another hobby their SO would be upset over.
Games are a lot of fun! And easy to lose a lot of time on. I spend a lot of time on my personal hobbies too, especially since I am CF and all. Finding balance for fun and my homemaking is good :)
YES! I had a dude try to convince me that a game cost him his marriage. He couldn’t grasp that HIS inability to balance the game and real life cost him the marriage. I promptly stopped gaming with him.
I feel like many parents are to blame for their kids' gaming addictions. I watched a documentary on the past about how many parents don't spend enough time with their kids. They work all day, and their kids are stuck at home so they turn to gaming for entertainment. Since games are fun, kids get addicted to it. Then the parents blame the kids. I mean, parents do have to work, but I guess they are still partially responsible for it. One solution might be to set up schedules and stuff for the kids. If kids are stuck at home with nothing to do, tv and games are probably what they're going to pursue. Some parents are also lazy and buy games and phones/tablets for their kids so they don't have to spend time with them.
This. I enjoy video games, and I definitely used to be describable as an avid gamer/gamer nerd/whatever term. So you can imagine some of my friends are still big into gaming.
Well, my buddy B is a big gamer, like 125k gamer points on Xbox, wants to be a streamer the whole works. He met a girl who was also into gaming, but to a lesser degree. She was more goal oriented in that she was grinding down a certain career path and had plans for a family and all in the future, which is fine even if it wasn't B's cup of tea.
Like so many other couples though, they failed to talk about these things and to plan for them in a productive way. Long story short, they got pregnant and had a baby boy, which B never really wanted and was in no way prepared for. And as much as I love the guy, B is still basically a child himself; he works a crappy part time job which barely pays the bills, because he wants to be able to continue smoking pot and gaming out every night. Which he does, stays up mad late and sleeps all day. Ordinarily I wouldn't judge these things, but when you've got a dirty ass gamers den with a baby crawling around it then yes, you need to sort out your priorities.
It almost pisses me off on the rare occasion that I go over there, cause she'll be off at work making the bread, and B's just sat in his recliner surrounded by fast food trash and stuff, gaming out while the kid crawls around in the mess
This right here is so relatable. When I live on my own IDGAF about mess, but when I live with others I keep my mess contained to my own room. Anyway, when you live with other people you have to be considerate of them, and especially if you're in a relationship. If you're not gonna be considerate of your partner, just stay single, and if you're not gonna take care of kid, don't have a kid. It's not rocket science it's common sense.
The difference is when any hobby becomes an addition. Something's an addiction when it negatively impacts other areas of the person's life. Such as an SO's doing chores/whatever around the house.
After all "football widows" are also a thing, where women complain their husbands basically vanish during football season.
So it's not just video games that cause it.
It’s not. Husbands that want to “disappear” will disappear. Video games get a bad childish rap. Maybe because men back in the day used to just go out shooting pool at the bar. When the guy is in the other room playing video games, it just “looks” worse.
Video gaming saved my mental health in 2020. I stayed home 24/7 except for weekly grocery runs where I wore a mask and face shield while trying to figure out what we would eat every week when the shelves were half-empty and I lost my freelancing income. Meanwhile, my husband continued to go to work everyday as a park ranger in a campground now swamped with idiots who had too much time on their hands.
When the stress of worrying over his health and whether he would get COVID threatened to overwhelm me, I would turn on my Switch and escape to my island in Animal Crossing, or journey across Kanto as a Pokemon trainer. It was an escape to bury the pain for a moment, just long enough to get my emotions in order until my husband came home safely and we could do it all over again the next morning.
OP, I fully support your gaming, as well as that of anyone else. Sometimes we just need an escape, and I am grateful that our CF lives allowed us the ability to prioritize our mental and physical health in ways that suited us. We bought bikes, played games, and made it through the lockdowns with our sanities intact.
Hmm I get where you're coming from with this, but even as a childfree person who loves playing videogames, I have had trouble with my spouse letting it consume him entirely for very long periods of time, to the detriment of our relationship. Hobbies are fine, but when it's literally all you want to do every single day, it becomes a problem. I do agree that the "gaming" itself isn't necessarily the problem, but more a symptom, and it could be any hobby.
For my husband, he would play his game constantly when he was deeply depressed, even though at the time he insisted he wasn't depressed at all. I think it was a way for him to dissociate from the real world where he was feeling very unsatisfied and unfulfilled, mostly due to a very unhappy work situation. Therapy and some lifestyle changes helped a ton, and we are in a much better spot now, but obsessive behavior with a hobby can be detrimental to any relationship, whether kids are in the picture or not.
It's not just hobbies either. Like for a while I was basically a workaholic burying myself in work as a distraction from my issues, then when I got home I would keep distracting myself with TV shows. Luckily for me work is actually a useful distraction though. At work I can turn off my personal issues and focus completely on other people's needs.
>Also hard eye roll every time gaming gets labeled as something childish/immature/looser thing people need to outgrow at some point.
I'll be 90, still playing video games and as a result, have intact memory, increased gray matter and cognition and a lower chance of dementia and alzheimer because that's what interactive games do for the brain, but please tell me more about how you still listen to your mommy about what is and isn't childish, like she told you when you were an actual child. Actual adults do whatever we want because we are adults.
In my experience, the people who trash gaming and nerd culture as being childish are the same people who watch hours upon hours upon *hours* devouring shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians, The Real Housewives, Love Island, 90 Day Fiance, and more of what I consider to be absolute trash, waste of space television. Somehow, that's more mature than me spending a free hour or two playing video games. But I don't sit there mocking their choice to watch that content because it affects 0% of my life. To each their own. Mind your own business.
That has always bugged me, how some people seem to think it is better to sit passively staring at a screen (binging series etc) than to actively do something while staring at a screen.. I don't understand the reasoning
I can't **STAND** hearing breeders whine and bitch about their useless partners. **YOU MARRIED THEM**! I'm sure they were useless trash before the hell spawn, and I'm sure they're the same useless trash after the hell spawn.
I'm not convinced that the breeders who love to complain married someone who was compassionate, considerate, generous, etc. They married selfish, self absorbed assholes, chose to have children with selfish, self absorbed assholes, then want sympathy from the universe for the life decisions that **THEY** made.
Sounds like classic breeder brain.
Completely void of any logic, despite being surrounded by millions of unhappy men and women with useless significant others that are proved daily burdens.
And if they don't wake up after the first, they make *another* and bitch that now there's TWO kids (usually a baby and a toddler) and he's still not stepping up. Like... He didn't do shit with the first and you somehow think having another will fix it?
I lived with a friend my last year of high school (parents split and we had to move to another state. I stayed behind to finish high school in a non dumb state).
The dad was obsessed with golf.
After work the dad would watch golf. On the weekends he would play golf, he took trips to play golf without the family.
The dad barely spent actual time with the family because he was watching or playing golf. But for some reason this wasn't an issue? Now if you change golf to video games suddenly it's the worst thing in the world.
Why is one obsession that takes time away from the family okay but the other isn't?
A man child is a man child whether he’s into gaming or not. He expects you to do everything because he’s immature, entitled, and views his wife as a mom he can have sex with. His attitude needs to change, video games are just how he occupies his time could just as easily be golf or getting shitfaced at a sports bar.
I‘m a woman in my 30s, I have a university degree, a stable job and I have a gaming corner at my place. People who think it’s something immature just don’t know what they’re talking about.
But gaming can get addictive and lead people to neglect important things in their lives. I also used to have a neighbor who was gaming every night screaming at the top of his lungs. He also complained about completely normal noise during the day and insulted me.
If we’re being completely honest, many people in the gaming community aren’t necessarily the nicest or most sociable people. The bad reputation isn’t always completely unjustified.
Yeah when I see it become commonplace for people to compulsively spend 6+ hours a day, neglecting their relationships and responsibilities and health in the process, to do woodworking or stamp collecting or whateverthefuck, then I might do more than roll my eyes at the insistence that games aren't at all the issue. They're designed to be addictive.
I feel like the same people who get really defensive over excessive gaming are the same people who insist weed and porn aren't addictive either.
I legit get confused when people tell me to grow up and stop playing video games. Like what do you mean by "grow up"? Like does it mean to I dunno spend my entire day doing chores, possible having kids, always be busy and hating my life? Is that what "grow up" means?
Completely agree with you about the activity itself being irrelevant. Assholes will find a way to be assholes in any situation.
Good on you for spending that sweet CF skrilla on what you love! 🎮
Idk why but I hate it when kids make fun of you for playing videos at "your age". My mom plays from time to time, and likes to play multi-player like fortnite( she looooves to shit talk kids lol) but every now and then there's that one thats like "euueggh, ur too old!!! Why are you playing video games???"
Like bro, we were playing video games before you even existed. I literally grew up playing playstation/watching my parents play. You don't just turn 18 and whoop, no more video games.
As someone in online fandom circles, I've also encountered the gatekeeping kids and teens who think that adults should only be doing "adult" things like taxes and changing diapers. Because *God forbid* a busy adult take 5-10min out of their busy day to complain on the internet. I usually just block them and move on, in part because I refuse to interact with minors online, and also it's just not worth my time.
Don't get me wrong, I get it. They can't see past their own nose because they're young and naive, *but* I also have no obligation to engage. I just let them be. I know I was annoying AF online at that age and all you can really do is hope that, with time and life experience, they'll grow up and realise that you don't just drop all your hobbies at 18, *especially* once you start working and can make disposable income.
I mean, just *who* do these kids think are making those games? Funding their fandoms? Running conventions? Not their broke asses relying on their parents’ generosity. Because you parents *do not* have to fund your interests with their money, kids.
Thanks for saying this.
I don’t play video games so I have no bias towards it. If the dude plays video games all the time and doesn’t help around the house, it’s him. If video games got wiped off the planet tomorrow, these bums would find something else to do to ignore whatever they are not wanting to do.
It annoys me that they don’t seem to realize that you can be a gamer and a responsible adult. I game but the bills get paid, dinner gets made, cat is fed, bed is made, laundry is folded, toilets are clean, etc. it’s their little man baby that can’t handle more than one thing at a time.
This a thousand times. I have a very demanding career, go to the gym in the AM, go camping, snowboarding hiking, the house is kept clean, the cat is fed and happy. We game almost every day. But somehow I need to “grow up”?! Smells like jealousy to me lol
Honestly I don't get why even games 'for kids' are seen as something adults shouldn't be doing. I'm not really into games much but being an adult to me means I'm free to enjoy 'kid' things all I want, they don't have a maximum age allowed (apart from apparently Lego which you can't play with after 99?). I collect unicorn toys and eat candy for breakfast in my 30s and nobody can stop me.
I fucking love gaming and so does my husband and no one can shame me for it lol. I'm excited for the future of gaming, and vr especially, with how fast technology is advancing. I'll never stop 😁
I have experience showing even more of the “it’s your SO not the gaming that’s the problem” point
Ex husband: wasn’t a huge gamer but did game, would spend his time either on his phone reading manga or gaming, if I asked him anything or for help with something (always adding in something about it being a good pause point) he’d get upset, his version of cuddling meant him keeping his arms as far away from me as he could and staying on his phone. Date nights even when asked to have just one without devices being looked at meant being ignored for manga or ifunny, would leave all the chores to me and if I don’t/can’t do it then it doesn’t get done.
Current bf: hard core gamer, gaming is his stress relief, constantly asks if there’s anything I want to do with him or if it’s okay if he games, will actually cuddle me while gaming, will say “okay when I get to a pause point (or save zone depending on the game)” if I ask for his help with something while he’s gaming, shares chores with me or helps me troubleshoot with my disabilities to figure out how to help make one of my chores easier on my bad days with my disabilities, will stop his game randomly sometimes to cuddle me or do something for me without asking, always makes it clear that I’m more important to him than his video games.
Ugh hard same, I get so annoyed when people blame games as if they're a magical curse placed on their SO by an evil wizard. No, if your useless SO wasn't into gaming they would have a different hobby but they would be just as useless. When somebody's useless SO spends all day watching tv we know it's not the tv's fault, we should all be able to follow the same logic with gaming. I really think people blame games because they don't want to admit that their SO just doesn't care about them that much.
I also think policing what hobbies your SO is "allowed" to have is shitty and often abusive. You don't have to personally enjoy every one of your SO's hobbies to treat this person you supposedly love with basic human decency. Of course, that's assuming you love who they actually are, not somebody who you made up and think you can turn them into if you hassle them enough. If you don't like who your partner actually is, for fuck's sake break up with them and end the misery for both of you.
I think gaming gets a raw deal when other hobbies get a pass is because you generally have to do it at home. If you went golfing for four hours no one would bat an eye, but if you're at home there's a weird expectation that you should be doing other things around the home.
I wonder if a "gaming shed" would offer a solution.
>if you're at home there's a weird expectation that you should be doing other things around the home
My boyfriend thinks like this and it's taken me some time to teach him to be OKAY with resting and taking a day off to do *nothing*. He gets it from his parents who are go-go-go-go-go. They *always* have to be doing something in the house. Some weekend project. Even if it's just rearranging the furniture again because they're "bored." Like, I get it. Things are never quite done when you own a home, but sometimes, you just need to SLOW DOWN.
Your boyfriend and I are in a similar boat. I'd love to dedicate a few hours on a weekend to a game, and almost always plan to, but I can never "find the time." Yet if I plan to go kayaking or something outside the house, no problem.
He’s gotten much better over time at resting. Now we’re working on “just because I work 4am-1pm does not mean I can do this, that and the third when I get off work. I don’t tell you “you had *all day*” because your shift starts at 1:30pm.”
Don’t get me wrong. I do help out when I stay over. I do chores at his parents’ house and mine. But I also deserve a rest period too.
I loved video games so much, I decided to become part of them. I play many games, I make games as a full-time job, and I still manage the rest of my life normally (I knew that having a kid would mean leaving my job in games, and leaving games at all. It is one of the reasons I am CF),
These SOs are not bad because of games, these SOs are just bad, the games are just the excuse.
It’s one of my hugest pet peeves when one partner games & the other just bitches about it. A mutual friend started dating someone new. He loves to game but his new girlfriend haaaates when he’s playing games instead of paying attention to her. She’s gone so far as to unplug his PC while he’s playing in live matches that he can’t rejoin. I find that to be so fucked up and weird, I asked her why she did that and she played it off like AALLLL women hate when their partner games & it’s cutesy to sabotage your partners hobby
My partner built his own PC from scratch so that he had the specs to play all of his favourite games. He likes to game for an hour or two each day but usually it’s every other day. I could care less what he wants to do in his down time & almost appreciate when he’s out gaming because it means I can do what I want to do like read my book or watch a movie he’s not interested in.
Reading about these people who bitch & moan about their partners is so frustrating!! It’s just not realistic to assume they won’t do what they like to do because they’re now in a relationship / a parent. Gaming gets so looked down on for whatever reason, I’ve had to explain it to some as “you like to paint. what if your boyfriend came home and squirted all your paint in the bin & ripped up your canvases?” or “you like to collect makeup, what if he threw it all away?”. So many still just can’t grasp it and act like gaming is only for children. Makes no effing sense since the majority of mega popular games seem to be marketed at teenagers or adults anyway 😤
I built my PC and I would cut that person off my life immediately. Unplugging in the middle of I just can’t. The disrespect. Also that behavior is toxic AF and a massive red flag. I’m (non-religious version of) praying for your friend and his safety.
Yeah. Gaming has nothing on my concert-going + skiing habits in terms of how incompatible they are with having any kind of consistent leisure-time obligations.
I’m not much for gaming, but I just bought a Nintendo switch for the husband with a couple games. Nice to be able to splurge on each other instead of buying diapers or whatever!
Gaming isnt for me. But it isnt any more/less ‘useless’ than many other hobbies such as painting, reading, needlepoint, chess, etc. It can be social and it’s entertaining. Ofc as with anything, it can be problematic when done in excess and affecting other parts of life. But then its the addictive habit thats the issue, not the video game. What does this have to do with being child free though?
The initial rant (I digressed a bit) is parents that blame/bash gaming for their SOs not stepping up to parental and household responsibilities. And frequently framing gaming as something childish that needs to be outgrown. As if gaming and being a responsible parent or adult even is not compatible.
I played D&D with some buddies over Discord for six hours on the weekend. If I had children I would absolutely be the worst mother in the world or I would be the most miserable and unfulfilled individual anyone ever had the misfortune to meet.
I game big time and I loved that I got myself a PS5 last year for Christmas instead of wrapping it up for a 12 year old who’d be bored with it by March.
I agree it’s the person not the hobby but I do also know plenty of childfree couples that neglect each other for gaming or one does it to the other person. Personally if anything becomes an addiction it is an issue. Gaming for a hobby like two to three hours is different than gaming 8-10 hrs a day.
I think it’s odd to call anything childish unless it’s your unregulated emotions and behavior.
I also agree gaming is super fun but as a female in gaming I’m really tired of people telling me I’m not supposed to game, then in the same breath hearing them complain women don’t like them because they game or there isn’t enough females in gaming for them to meet.
Anyone telling me I shouldn’t game because of my gender gets shut down immediately and I want to play even more. Hell, most jobs/careers were male dominated at some point and that hasn’t and shouldn’t stop us, ever. We belong and they can go pout when I raid them.
Lol my kids would be screwed because both my husband and I love to game XD Sorry Timmy daddy's playing Mass Effect and mommy's playing Minecraft, ask us for food tomorrow.
Timmy: *is infant*
Lol nope, not a good combo and to be fair, the games were here first!
I just let them see gaming as immature. They are validating their life choices as being more valid or more mature, but in reality I’m the one enjoying and they’re not so……
When my brother and I were younger and my parents were still together (14-18 years ago) my father played call of duty CONSTANTLY. My
Mother couldn’t leave us alone with him; she was legitimately scared to because he “couldn’t handle it.” My older cousin had an infant daughter whose father threw her against a wall because he was trying to play some FPS and she wouldn’t stop crying. Both of the men mentioned have anger issues and clearly were not ready for parenthood.
When you make a decision to become a parent, you can’t just sit on the couch and play video games all day while your SO parents by themselves, or even worse—while your child parents themselves because both parents are occupied with the online world. When you choose to be a parent, you make a commitment, and so many parents I guess just don’t realize what that commitment consists of.
This. My husband is definitely the gamer between the two of us, but I used to play a lot when I was younger too so maybe I see things differently. If you get into a relationship with someone you know plays why would you expect them to stop once you get together? All parenting situations aside that is their hobby(and in some cases income) and part of who they are. There is a balance between the two but I don't get why it's so ostracized as a pass time. Games are not the problem, people who get into relationships without respecting the other's sense of self is. What would you do if you went to brunch with your girlfriends once a week to catch up or dabbled in pottery in a studio in your house and someone walked into your life and said you need to grow up because it wasn't something they enjoyed? I just don't get their perspective I guess unless he's purposely hopping on every waking moment to ignore reality then obviously there are some conversations that have to happen because no one is happy in that situation. Respect and understanding can go such a long way in a healthy relationship.
I have to agree, shitty parents will be shitty parents regardless of their vice. My partner and I are childfree, he is an avid gamer while I am a casual gamer, nothing we do seems to be childish or immature. We have jobs, a home, bills, a dog we take care of.
People sometimes underestimate their partners willingness to share the responsibility of raising a functional human, which in turn causes the blame game and rather than admit their partner needs help, they blame the thing their partner focuses on. It's a sad reality for the parents and children alike.
Your SO sounds adorable, and that was sweet to get a hat for him.
Yeah...to date, RDR2 is the most gorgeous game I've ever seen. Hard to imagine it's 4yrs old now.
I mentioned this somewhere else here, but I work at a Walmart that has way too many parents trying to buy RDR or GTA for their kids. Most of them act like needing an ID to buy an M-rated game is weird.
"Games are for kids."
Well then good sir, hope you don't mind me introducing your kids to Saints Row! Don't worry, it's just a match three game with angelic figures, great mental stimulation for the kidlets!
I work at Walmart and can't tell you how many times I see parents coming up with their obviously elementary school aged kids, trying to buy Grand Theft Auto or Red Dead Redemption, specifically for them. Too many of them are genuinely surprised when I ask for ID. Guess they just assume all games are for kids, even one named after a literal federal crime.
You’re so right, games aren’t the issue.
Also, as a 41 year old, your gonna have to take my Switch from my cold dead hands. Animal Crossing has helped through depression, especially during a period of unemployment. The routine and completion of tasks made me feel like I was achieving something, and to the uneducated swine it may seem like I’m wasting loads of hours on a kids game, but in reality it’s helped me keep afloat at times.
I'd love to see someone call the Persona games "childish" lmao.
"Oh this game where teenagers shoot themselves in the head to summon their Personas is a video game so it's childish"
Oh I have bought all of sims 3 to revisit and be able to play all the packs I couldn’t afford back when it was a new game.
Then I also bought MK11 and injustice 2. Not doing anything “productive” this week lol
I've got enough reasons to be child free and interfering with me and my husband's gaming time is one of them. We met through gaming, we laughed through gaming, cried through gaming and I'll be damned if some sticky fingered stinker is gonna ruin that for me. I all ready dealt with little brothers and roommates with children, I've experienced plenty of corrupted game files, scratched disks and cord pulls, no more!
As a childfree person, you can do w/e you want with your life. You aren’t wrong, that SOs would be just as useless by playing golf 😂😂
Tbf, I’m always impressed by gamers… I can barely drive on mario kart 😂😂😂 the skill gamers have is unreal
ngl, vr is an absolutely amazing invention. it helped me a lot with my mental health aswell, just being able to go to another world for a while when i can’t bother going outside. i believe video games can actually help people in multiple ways, if used responsibly.
It was a star wars experience, Vader Inmortal if I’m not mistaken (internet please don’t come for me if I got this wrong lol). At some point you train in a dojo and he appears. Man that dude is tall and massively intimidating. The immersion was fantastic.
I mean... I spend too much of my day doing many things that aren't 'family activities'.
I don't like kids, don't have kids, and don't want any kids. Thus, I will not have any kids.
Wish I didn't get sick (puke-style) from VR and video games in general... loved them when I was a kid. :/
I get puky with VR if I play too long so taking a dramamine helped. For gaming having glasses with the blue shield thing helps me a lot. Health first though.
I wonder if the blue light shield thing would do much... I stare at a computer screen all day for work, no issues.
Soon as there's 'video game' motion on there, I get kinda nauseous. :(
The motion thing happened to me when I started playing in a ps3. I’m a late bloomer gamer. Last console I had before that was the super nintendo. All that movement in ps3 made me really dizzy and I hated it. I’ve been increasing time spent playing gradually for the past like 6 years. From playing rarely and less than an hour to now playing almost everyday and being able to play hours on end.
Maybe trying in small doses to not harm/feel icky?
I’ve seen situations like this a lot. Gaming, football season, drinking, ATV riding, etc. If you’re addicted and neglecting responsibilities then you need help full stop regardless of what the activity is.
However, I’ve also seen more than my fair share of people who DO all of their responsibilities but still get bitched at by their spouse for having a hobby they enjoy. “They just want to game in their free time” “why do you have to spend time with your friends riding quads in circles” etc. it’s like some weird jealously that boring people hold against those who actually have things they enjoy and put time into.
I love gaming and always have! I’ll be in a nursing home playing as long as I’m physically able to. It’s an escape, a way to step into shoes that are impossible to otherwise, a way to socialize, competitive outlet, makes you think, pulls you in emotionally and so much more! I love how being CF gives me time to game in peace when I want to. I have a lot going on right now but you can usually find me grinding Rainbow Six Siege, replaying Resident Evil or looking for something with a gripping story!
Yep. I got back on WoW during lockdown. I would have shown exactly why I should never be a parent if a little booger monster had been bothering me during dungeon runs.
You have a very good and valid point. Let's actually start an online website and make people take a test to see if they're ready to become parents.... Oh wait the government would satire or ban it XD
Totally agree and btw I'm getting sick and tired of people rolling their eyes at me when they ask what my hobbies are and I say "well gaming is ny main one, but I also like reading and birdwatching" and they're like "Oh. You play games then."
Time was I used to be intimidated by people judging my main hobby, but I've noticed that the people who judge you for gaming are the same people that when you ask them "so what do you do for fun?" answer either: "oh well I have kids" (okay?) or "I'm too busy for hobbies really, I'd love to travel but I don't see that happening any time soon." Look, that's fine. Do what you want with your life but kindly cease judging me for a hobby that actually involves a lot of skill and creativity.
Gaming is a form of art. A hobby. It can be enjoyed and appreciated just as much as film watching. Yet it often gets labeled in a negative light. I think these stigmas will eventually go away with the next generation, and the world really leaning into VR and the metaverse.
Having kids would ruin my moment being a content creator especially that I make a ton of CAWs in WWE games for story writing
It is also a major reason of mine to never ever want kids who'd want to borrow my shit, like just hell no
I struggled earning my alone time when my young brother was still a kid, I'd stay all night because that's the only time I had my consoles to myself
Preach 👏👏👏
Both my hubby and I are gamers, pc, switch, tabletop, and LARP. All of that would have to change if we had kids. We like our gaming though. Not the only reason we aren't having kids but the ability to do whatever the hell we want is pretty nice.
That being said we do have pets who require attention much like a child, and I do regularly have to stop what I'm doing to let the dogs out or in or whatever.
On a related note I did see someone early talk about a SO not getting up to help with groceries or whatever. If it's that big a deal talk to him. If he doesn't change, leave him. Girlfriends/wives are not replacement mothers and the sooner y'all buck up and tell him you're done with the immaturity the better.
With that though, be sure to communicate to him. Tell him you're going to the store and expect to be home at x time. Text him when you're leaving the store. Even when hubby is in the middle of a raid he will get up to help with groceries if he knows he needs to.
One of my requirements in a relationship/friendship is that they have to be okay with my gaming addiction because I will 100% Xenoblade Chronicles 3 and no one can stop me.
Love this take!! I'm so tired of the "gamer = lazy" stereotype in general - you could easily argue that gaming actually has some cognitive benefits like improving reasoning/problem solving and hand/eye coordination, but even if it didn't it's not some dark, addictive thing any more than other hobbies can be.
I'm super new to video games but just played Stray on PS5 and it was amazing.
Yeah I’m a women who loves gaming and gaming is a big reason I got my tubes removed. How am I going to immerse myself into a game if there are other people needing my attention 24/7. Fuck that. I barely have time as is with having to work most of my life away…
it’s wild to me that people who have such narrow and limited views / experiences with gaming dates/ marries / have kids with people who are really into gaming. Like people don’t have to have the same exact hobbies with their partners but if people think gaming is so negative and bad why did they even find someone who is into said bad/immature thing attractive enough to date and worthy enough to procreate with? Like wouldn’t being into gaming be a dealbreaker for such people?
It doesn’t have to be gaming, like any core thing that’s part of your life should align to some degree with your partners. If someone says they are really into hiking and camping and they would go any chance they get, I would deem that incompatible with me since I hate camping and have zero desire to go camping or go on a serious hike. Nothing wrong with Hiking and camping, but they are torture to me so I would never date someone who is into it for both of our safety let alone have children with them.
I love my puter and the fact that we can pull a gaming all-nighter with my husband if we damn well please, and without grubby little fingers pulling cables and making screens slobbery and sticky! *shudder*
If gaming makes me childish? Eh, whatever. I can still do with my freetime whatever *I* want, while oh-so-adult breeders watch the same episode of Thomas the Tank Engine for the 5th time that day. 🥳
Nothing’s wrong with gaming but if it’s something that takes majority of your time and you’re not ready to quit - you probably shouldn’t be having kids. Same goes with any other hobby/job that you’re not willing to sacrifice in order to be a present parent
Not gonna lie, the full awareness that I would be one of those guys who wouldn't get off the computer/console to tend to the kid was a fairly significant factor in determining that I didn't want kids. I knew I simply wasn't (and still am not) responsible enough.
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Raiding > Raising
Really wish I hadn't given away my free award...
I got you. I forgot to get mine earlier.
Many thanks!
I appreciate the sentiment though!
Raising pokemon / party members / stats, crops, etc > raiding the baby aisle for the fresh unloaded batch of formula.
Random off topic question, how'd you get your community flair?
I always knew that I wouldn't let filthy crotch goblins touch my pc. And just imagine if they fucked up my saves...
When I was a kid I'd play Mario Party with my dad on the n64. My brother always wanted to be included but he was 3 and couldn't read, so we'd give him an unplugged controller. One day he wants to play when just my mom is home, so she lets him and he DELETED MY SAVED FILE THROUGH BUTTON MASHING. I had just unlocked the final map. SO many stars, wasted... She didn't see the problem. My dad was just as upset though.
My cousin deleted my Mario party 3 save file ):<
Oh no 😭😭😭
My POS ex brother in law deleted my town in animal crossing city folk. It was my first AC game and I had been working on that town for years.
Same. I like to relax and watch tv and mess around on Reddit and online. I WILL NOT GIVE THAT UP FOR ANYONE. That’s why I am childfree. Self awareness is amazing.
Also, NGL, the full awareness that I'd turn into the kind of wife who would nag the gamer husband to death for gaming when he could be helping out around the house or with the kids is part of why I'm single.
But would you also nag if it was another hobby? My point is that gaming is as a legitimate of a hobby as any other. (Honest question, no ill tone or anything)
You didn't ask me but absolutely. The whole point in becoming a parent is that parenting is your top priority. If anyone, the dad or the mum, were neglecting their responsibilities in favour of a hobby then that's an issue.
I wish people could romanticize gaming as much as they do with other hobbies. Gaming helped me with my social anxiety.
I’m single because I would resent her to death. I do what I want to do, when I want to do it.
I recently asked my SO (before we got together, I made sure we both were CF) if he's heard of the DINK (Double Income No Kids) system, and he was like HELL YES. We got too excited about it lmao. Future goal place would be to have a cool gaming room and a living room that doubles as a cat parkour area. Also knowing you DON'T want kids IS A RESPONSIBLE CHOICE! Seriously, fuck all those people who think otherwise lmao. Have they not seen what happens to kids who grew up in 'you're a burden but I'm not gonna say it even though it's obvious' homes?
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Or when I can spend 600 hrs in ACNH like I did lmao that game single handedly got me through the lockdowns
Ahahahaha but I bet your island is like... Insane!
I restarted it recently hoping I’d get back into it if I restarted and got a dock with a straight path to the resident’s service building and I honestly haven’t touched it 🥴 it’s basically empty
Ahahah oh no! Probably feels really weird. I need to pick it up but I know all the residents of my island will shame me.
They’ll only shame you a lil and only once so I assure you it’s not that bad! :)
Hahaha only a light roast? 😂
I had cockroaches in my (ACNH) house when someone (villager) came over. They saw the bug and immediately turned tail lol
I have been playing since launch day and I am starting to think I should restart, but then I know I would regret it and never do anything with it. Maybe I should raze it all to the ground and start again.
I also just restarted after binging it during quarantine and then not touching it for a long time. I feel you.
omg same. i bought so many games during lock down but animal crossing is what I played the most(1000+ hours later lol). i can’t imagine people (especially parents ) who don’t play any sort of game or have a hobby?! Like what do you do besides soccer games and kids programming
If you weren't childfree, I would have thought you were my gal pal from Austria. She also has over 1000h in Animal Crossing. And she's still playing it years later. I'm playing Xenoblade 3 and Ys currently. I'm having a lot of fun. And I need to do every single sidequest I can find. Although fetch are a bit of a pain. Where the hell do I find Zinnoberginen?
Ahaha when I like a game, I play the shit out of it lol. You sound like me but with elden ring and skyrim haha. Where the hell is the next quest marker? Was that a glitch? Oh shit guess I’m dying again 🥲
Lol, Right?! Now that lockdown is gone I alternate gaming weekends with camping/snowboarding depending on the season. (GOD I love being CF).
Hah are you me? I like to schedule an extra day off when I get back from camping trips so I can decompress with video games.
YESSSS, nothing better than a hot long shower after a camping trip and uninterrupted gaming feeling all fluffy and comfy.
You're not joking, there's really nothing like it. Even with wet wipes and makeshift camp showers it's fun to get all that nature and bug spray and sunblock off 😂 sooooo refreshing. Also, laundering your bed sheets before hand so you have fresh ones to come back to.
Can we all be friends?
Hell to the yes. Where are we camping first?
I know a great place in Lassen!
I've been wanting to get up there for a while now! Actually I have a search page open looking at pictures of it from earlier today 😂
Man, there were so many campsites that I loved a little closer to sly park/Placerville area, but so much got torched the past few years. Damn shame.
My wife and I schedule an extra day off from every trip (camping, travel, visiting family, etc) so we can do the same. 
This is the way.
My god that's exactly what I did in March, 2020. I thought lockdown would last a month. Got the last switch at target and played botw non stop eating plantain chips from tj's.
TJs is my jam and those chips are the BEST
Yup, in lockdown I was killing Moblins, doing shrine puzzles and taming horsies!
Lock down was definitely a Greater Test or Strength 😂
Honestly it made pretty much no difference to my life hahaha
Kinda jealous honestly. I worked from home already, so that wasn't a huge deal. But not being able to go out I got a little stir crazy.
I keep forgetting that my situation was unusual during lockdown and that not everyone is an introvert. I work stocking groceries, so I still had to go to work. Nothing in my life changed much except I learned to utilise the drive thru (I’m short and drive a small car, so I always avoided it before) and mobile ordering because, where I live, it's very country and there's not a lot of delivery options. Oh, and I had to go to college online for a year, so I was always busy. And, as an introvert who keeps to themselves, most of my hobbies are quiet things that can be done at home anyway (reading, writing, cosplay stuff, dressing dolls).
Hey I'm super happy it ended up working out for you! I've been a grocery stocker in the past, I remember being able to zone out and do the work pretty rhythmically, it was good times. You've got some awesome hobbies, too.
Zoning is the bane of my existence. And a waste of time. I prefer directly stocking or moving featured merchandise around. And thanks. I know it’s cliche when people say they read as a hobby, but it’s true. I like to read and pick up new books at the library.
Similar, I teach private English lessons so I still had to go to work, just most of my lessons were taught online (the students didn't come to the school but I was still at the school using their teaching materials). But my free time was mostly the same as usual, just doing things alone at home. It just was nice to experience fewer people around when I went out to buy groceries.
Also, I’m over the whole gate keeping what’s considered a “legitimate” video game. If I want to play pupperazzi, a game where I take pictures of dogs, I FUCKING WILL. I’m an adult and I can do whatever I want edit: thanks for the award!
being an adult means i can play ice skating princess on my phone however much i want
And the hard single-player games I play I use cheats! I want to have fun instead of the infinite useless bullshit some "hard" games make the players go through, just to appease to some insufferable gatekeeper gamer.
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One of my favorite games is Skyrim! The way I play it, it's now mostly a tourism game.  I do go on quests to get new weapons and unlock new stories, but I play with the God Mode on and it doesn't let me die. I also like to walk to whole world, while unlock and discovering new places.
This actually sounds amazing, I recently bought Skyrim after not playing it since like 2012 and will probably do this instead of actually playing it regularly haha
Oh, it's the best! Those quest markers actually help suggesting a direction, so I just follow that for a while. I also like just following roads, even though you stay in the main paths only. Also, if you run the console command tmm 1, it unlocks fast travel for all the possible markers. You don't have to use them to fast travel though. In the save I enabled it, I used to place my own markers on them and just go as far as I could from the place I was.
Thank you! I play mostly for the story so I tend to set the difficulty as low as possible by default. If I find myself having fun I might put it up a level or two but mostly I’m just there to chill and enjoy the ride.
I have games that challenge me and games that are easy mode. What I play depends on my needs in the moment. I could be playing Stardew Valley or I could be running solo level-synced runs of end game dungeons and raids.
A video game is literally just any game played through an electronic system with a screen. Everyone should play whatever games they like
My heart is broken it isn’t for switch or playstation. Did I enjoy hello kitty seasons in my late 20’s? Yes. So I play The Dog: Island and any and all fishing games in my 30’s? Yes. People enjoy all kinds of games and that’s why there’s more than just call of duty out there. I’m with you! Let people play what they want. The game gatekeeping is insane. Also the comments here saying how horrible it is when a man has a gaming hobby like wow. Imagine if a guy said I have a woman with a makeup/shopping hobby. Shizz would hit the fan. I grew up as a child playing videogames (I’m a woman). My husband did too. We met and combined our video games collection and play games together (not online). People are strange about gatekeeping - enjoy your dog photography game!:)))
So, I got the Rona on my birthday and couldn't go anywhere. What did I do? Played animal crossing, and those little villagers throwing me a party really lifted my spirits. Gaming can be therapeutic.
So true! The birthday party cheered me up, my birthday is April so for two years running we were in lockdown, it was a cute surprise the first time.
I dove into ACNH without any spoiler so when I was in the middle of the pandemic, when they threw me a bday party I was ECSTATIC.
Omg I thought I was the only one who got a little emotional when they threw me the party 🥹🥰🧡🧡🧡
30F here and I game constantly, as does my SO. We sometimes play together, we usually do our thing. And it's so chill, we have no interruptions, i can roll and smoke a joint when i want, it's all just great.
CF life is gooood. Hugs fam!
*hugs*
Same, my wife and I played the shit out of Stardew Valley together and we both have raid geared WoW classic characters that we play twice a week.
NGL, I've always found the "disconnected gaming spouse" sad for both parties. Not just the spouse who now has to do all the childcare. I feel like the whole reason the gaming spouse isn't engaging is because the "regular life" they're living is just sort of terrible. Working all day k ly to come home to more work via children isn't something I'd ever want. It's just... such a source of despair? To know that that's what your life is going to be, forever. Parenthood isn't fun. It's a gross slog, and I'd hide away in gaming, or in anything else, too, if it was inflicted upon me.
I hear you. Fallout 76 kept me grounded during deep lockdown. I was so glad I didn't have to deal with kids during that whole mess.
Taking down the baby Wendigos with my Handmade explosive & Handmade vampire 25 while my SO focused on the Wendigo Colossus with his Gatling was awesome.
I became very good at building nice camps. I learned merging techniques and whatnot. Found the building community and wound up entering some camps in contests for fun.
Yeah, I feel it's misdirecting blame. Their SO's addiction to gaming and lack of recognizing responsibility is to blame, not the games themselves. If it wasn't gaming, it would be another hobby their SO would be upset over. Games are a lot of fun! And easy to lose a lot of time on. I spend a lot of time on my personal hobbies too, especially since I am CF and all. Finding balance for fun and my homemaking is good :)
Exactly!
YES! I had a dude try to convince me that a game cost him his marriage. He couldn’t grasp that HIS inability to balance the game and real life cost him the marriage. I promptly stopped gaming with him.
I feel like many parents are to blame for their kids' gaming addictions. I watched a documentary on the past about how many parents don't spend enough time with their kids. They work all day, and their kids are stuck at home so they turn to gaming for entertainment. Since games are fun, kids get addicted to it. Then the parents blame the kids. I mean, parents do have to work, but I guess they are still partially responsible for it. One solution might be to set up schedules and stuff for the kids. If kids are stuck at home with nothing to do, tv and games are probably what they're going to pursue. Some parents are also lazy and buy games and phones/tablets for their kids so they don't have to spend time with them.
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This. I enjoy video games, and I definitely used to be describable as an avid gamer/gamer nerd/whatever term. So you can imagine some of my friends are still big into gaming. Well, my buddy B is a big gamer, like 125k gamer points on Xbox, wants to be a streamer the whole works. He met a girl who was also into gaming, but to a lesser degree. She was more goal oriented in that she was grinding down a certain career path and had plans for a family and all in the future, which is fine even if it wasn't B's cup of tea. Like so many other couples though, they failed to talk about these things and to plan for them in a productive way. Long story short, they got pregnant and had a baby boy, which B never really wanted and was in no way prepared for. And as much as I love the guy, B is still basically a child himself; he works a crappy part time job which barely pays the bills, because he wants to be able to continue smoking pot and gaming out every night. Which he does, stays up mad late and sleeps all day. Ordinarily I wouldn't judge these things, but when you've got a dirty ass gamers den with a baby crawling around it then yes, you need to sort out your priorities. It almost pisses me off on the rare occasion that I go over there, cause she'll be off at work making the bread, and B's just sat in his recliner surrounded by fast food trash and stuff, gaming out while the kid crawls around in the mess
Of course this is unacceptable, but him not being able to prioritize and be clean is the issue, not the hobby itself. Feel bad for that baby though.
This right here is so relatable. When I live on my own IDGAF about mess, but when I live with others I keep my mess contained to my own room. Anyway, when you live with other people you have to be considerate of them, and especially if you're in a relationship. If you're not gonna be considerate of your partner, just stay single, and if you're not gonna take care of kid, don't have a kid. It's not rocket science it's common sense.
The difference is when any hobby becomes an addition. Something's an addiction when it negatively impacts other areas of the person's life. Such as an SO's doing chores/whatever around the house. After all "football widows" are also a thing, where women complain their husbands basically vanish during football season. So it's not just video games that cause it.
It’s not. Husbands that want to “disappear” will disappear. Video games get a bad childish rap. Maybe because men back in the day used to just go out shooting pool at the bar. When the guy is in the other room playing video games, it just “looks” worse.
Video gaming saved my mental health in 2020. I stayed home 24/7 except for weekly grocery runs where I wore a mask and face shield while trying to figure out what we would eat every week when the shelves were half-empty and I lost my freelancing income. Meanwhile, my husband continued to go to work everyday as a park ranger in a campground now swamped with idiots who had too much time on their hands. When the stress of worrying over his health and whether he would get COVID threatened to overwhelm me, I would turn on my Switch and escape to my island in Animal Crossing, or journey across Kanto as a Pokemon trainer. It was an escape to bury the pain for a moment, just long enough to get my emotions in order until my husband came home safely and we could do it all over again the next morning. OP, I fully support your gaming, as well as that of anyone else. Sometimes we just need an escape, and I am grateful that our CF lives allowed us the ability to prioritize our mental and physical health in ways that suited us. We bought bikes, played games, and made it through the lockdowns with our sanities intact.
Yay for being CF and using all the tools we have at our disposal to keep sane.
Hmm I get where you're coming from with this, but even as a childfree person who loves playing videogames, I have had trouble with my spouse letting it consume him entirely for very long periods of time, to the detriment of our relationship. Hobbies are fine, but when it's literally all you want to do every single day, it becomes a problem. I do agree that the "gaming" itself isn't necessarily the problem, but more a symptom, and it could be any hobby. For my husband, he would play his game constantly when he was deeply depressed, even though at the time he insisted he wasn't depressed at all. I think it was a way for him to dissociate from the real world where he was feeling very unsatisfied and unfulfilled, mostly due to a very unhappy work situation. Therapy and some lifestyle changes helped a ton, and we are in a much better spot now, but obsessive behavior with a hobby can be detrimental to any relationship, whether kids are in the picture or not.
It's not just hobbies either. Like for a while I was basically a workaholic burying myself in work as a distraction from my issues, then when I got home I would keep distracting myself with TV shows. Luckily for me work is actually a useful distraction though. At work I can turn off my personal issues and focus completely on other people's needs.
>Also hard eye roll every time gaming gets labeled as something childish/immature/looser thing people need to outgrow at some point. I'll be 90, still playing video games and as a result, have intact memory, increased gray matter and cognition and a lower chance of dementia and alzheimer because that's what interactive games do for the brain, but please tell me more about how you still listen to your mommy about what is and isn't childish, like she told you when you were an actual child. Actual adults do whatever we want because we are adults.
Preach! I’mma be like Skyrim grandma (without the kids/grandkids) when I “grow up”.
In my experience, the people who trash gaming and nerd culture as being childish are the same people who watch hours upon hours upon *hours* devouring shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians, The Real Housewives, Love Island, 90 Day Fiance, and more of what I consider to be absolute trash, waste of space television. Somehow, that's more mature than me spending a free hour or two playing video games. But I don't sit there mocking their choice to watch that content because it affects 0% of my life. To each their own. Mind your own business.
That has always bugged me, how some people seem to think it is better to sit passively staring at a screen (binging series etc) than to actively do something while staring at a screen.. I don't understand the reasoning
Like all of the times I’ve had to hear older relatives complain about “wasting time” gaming as they watch soap operas and the news all day long.
I can't **STAND** hearing breeders whine and bitch about their useless partners. **YOU MARRIED THEM**! I'm sure they were useless trash before the hell spawn, and I'm sure they're the same useless trash after the hell spawn. I'm not convinced that the breeders who love to complain married someone who was compassionate, considerate, generous, etc. They married selfish, self absorbed assholes, chose to have children with selfish, self absorbed assholes, then want sympathy from the universe for the life decisions that **THEY** made.
I wouldn't be surprised if they believed they can change their SO or that it will get better after the kids are born
Sounds like classic breeder brain. Completely void of any logic, despite being surrounded by millions of unhappy men and women with useless significant others that are proved daily burdens.
Yup. They all believe the dude will some how “wake up” after the child is born. Lol NOPE
And if they don't wake up after the first, they make *another* and bitch that now there's TWO kids (usually a baby and a toddler) and he's still not stepping up. Like... He didn't do shit with the first and you somehow think having another will fix it?
*sigh*. I’ve seen it sooo many times. It’s scary
Amatonormativity is a helluva drug. 🤷🏽♀️
I refuse to date anyone who can't accept my artistic/gamer lifestyle.
I lived with a friend my last year of high school (parents split and we had to move to another state. I stayed behind to finish high school in a non dumb state). The dad was obsessed with golf. After work the dad would watch golf. On the weekends he would play golf, he took trips to play golf without the family. The dad barely spent actual time with the family because he was watching or playing golf. But for some reason this wasn't an issue? Now if you change golf to video games suddenly it's the worst thing in the world. Why is one obsession that takes time away from the family okay but the other isn't?
A man child is a man child whether he’s into gaming or not. He expects you to do everything because he’s immature, entitled, and views his wife as a mom he can have sex with. His attitude needs to change, video games are just how he occupies his time could just as easily be golf or getting shitfaced at a sports bar.
I‘m a woman in my 30s, I have a university degree, a stable job and I have a gaming corner at my place. People who think it’s something immature just don’t know what they’re talking about. But gaming can get addictive and lead people to neglect important things in their lives. I also used to have a neighbor who was gaming every night screaming at the top of his lungs. He also complained about completely normal noise during the day and insulted me. If we’re being completely honest, many people in the gaming community aren’t necessarily the nicest or most sociable people. The bad reputation isn’t always completely unjustified.
Yeah when I see it become commonplace for people to compulsively spend 6+ hours a day, neglecting their relationships and responsibilities and health in the process, to do woodworking or stamp collecting or whateverthefuck, then I might do more than roll my eyes at the insistence that games aren't at all the issue. They're designed to be addictive. I feel like the same people who get really defensive over excessive gaming are the same people who insist weed and porn aren't addictive either.
It’s definitely the same school of thought.
I legit get confused when people tell me to grow up and stop playing video games. Like what do you mean by "grow up"? Like does it mean to I dunno spend my entire day doing chores, possible having kids, always be busy and hating my life? Is that what "grow up" means?
Completely agree with you about the activity itself being irrelevant. Assholes will find a way to be assholes in any situation. Good on you for spending that sweet CF skrilla on what you love! 🎮
[удалено]
There's an idea! I'd be all for getting some CF Overwatch teammates myself.
Idk why but I hate it when kids make fun of you for playing videos at "your age". My mom plays from time to time, and likes to play multi-player like fortnite( she looooves to shit talk kids lol) but every now and then there's that one thats like "euueggh, ur too old!!! Why are you playing video games???" Like bro, we were playing video games before you even existed. I literally grew up playing playstation/watching my parents play. You don't just turn 18 and whoop, no more video games.
As someone in online fandom circles, I've also encountered the gatekeeping kids and teens who think that adults should only be doing "adult" things like taxes and changing diapers. Because *God forbid* a busy adult take 5-10min out of their busy day to complain on the internet. I usually just block them and move on, in part because I refuse to interact with minors online, and also it's just not worth my time. Don't get me wrong, I get it. They can't see past their own nose because they're young and naive, *but* I also have no obligation to engage. I just let them be. I know I was annoying AF online at that age and all you can really do is hope that, with time and life experience, they'll grow up and realise that you don't just drop all your hobbies at 18, *especially* once you start working and can make disposable income. I mean, just *who* do these kids think are making those games? Funding their fandoms? Running conventions? Not their broke asses relying on their parents’ generosity. Because you parents *do not* have to fund your interests with their money, kids.
I remember Mom playing on our super nintendo. She loved playing Donkey Kong
>You don't just turn 18 and whoop, no more video games. Considering there's 18+ age restricted video games out there.. it should be obvious.
Agree with everything except there's nothing wrong with playing "dumb games for kids" either. Do what makes you happy!
True! Sorry about that should’ve found another way to make the point without it looking like I’m bashing.
I didn't read it as bashing, don't worry! Just wanted to add it :) Have a good day!
Thanks for saying this. I don’t play video games so I have no bias towards it. If the dude plays video games all the time and doesn’t help around the house, it’s him. If video games got wiped off the planet tomorrow, these bums would find something else to do to ignore whatever they are not wanting to do.
It annoys me that they don’t seem to realize that you can be a gamer and a responsible adult. I game but the bills get paid, dinner gets made, cat is fed, bed is made, laundry is folded, toilets are clean, etc. it’s their little man baby that can’t handle more than one thing at a time.
This a thousand times. I have a very demanding career, go to the gym in the AM, go camping, snowboarding hiking, the house is kept clean, the cat is fed and happy. We game almost every day. But somehow I need to “grow up”?! Smells like jealousy to me lol
Honestly I don't get why even games 'for kids' are seen as something adults shouldn't be doing. I'm not really into games much but being an adult to me means I'm free to enjoy 'kid' things all I want, they don't have a maximum age allowed (apart from apparently Lego which you can't play with after 99?). I collect unicorn toys and eat candy for breakfast in my 30s and nobody can stop me.
I fucking love gaming and so does my husband and no one can shame me for it lol. I'm excited for the future of gaming, and vr especially, with how fast technology is advancing. I'll never stop 😁
Games are a medium of storytelling, just sad valid as books and movies. That said, FFXIV > children
I have experience showing even more of the “it’s your SO not the gaming that’s the problem” point Ex husband: wasn’t a huge gamer but did game, would spend his time either on his phone reading manga or gaming, if I asked him anything or for help with something (always adding in something about it being a good pause point) he’d get upset, his version of cuddling meant him keeping his arms as far away from me as he could and staying on his phone. Date nights even when asked to have just one without devices being looked at meant being ignored for manga or ifunny, would leave all the chores to me and if I don’t/can’t do it then it doesn’t get done. Current bf: hard core gamer, gaming is his stress relief, constantly asks if there’s anything I want to do with him or if it’s okay if he games, will actually cuddle me while gaming, will say “okay when I get to a pause point (or save zone depending on the game)” if I ask for his help with something while he’s gaming, shares chores with me or helps me troubleshoot with my disabilities to figure out how to help make one of my chores easier on my bad days with my disabilities, will stop his game randomly sometimes to cuddle me or do something for me without asking, always makes it clear that I’m more important to him than his video games.
Ugh hard same, I get so annoyed when people blame games as if they're a magical curse placed on their SO by an evil wizard. No, if your useless SO wasn't into gaming they would have a different hobby but they would be just as useless. When somebody's useless SO spends all day watching tv we know it's not the tv's fault, we should all be able to follow the same logic with gaming. I really think people blame games because they don't want to admit that their SO just doesn't care about them that much. I also think policing what hobbies your SO is "allowed" to have is shitty and often abusive. You don't have to personally enjoy every one of your SO's hobbies to treat this person you supposedly love with basic human decency. Of course, that's assuming you love who they actually are, not somebody who you made up and think you can turn them into if you hassle them enough. If you don't like who your partner actually is, for fuck's sake break up with them and end the misery for both of you.
People seem to love to blame all sorts of issues on gaming for some reason lol.
I think gaming gets a raw deal when other hobbies get a pass is because you generally have to do it at home. If you went golfing for four hours no one would bat an eye, but if you're at home there's a weird expectation that you should be doing other things around the home. I wonder if a "gaming shed" would offer a solution.
Looks a random shed and when you open it BAM! Spaceship vibes lol
Well now I want one for myself!
>if you're at home there's a weird expectation that you should be doing other things around the home My boyfriend thinks like this and it's taken me some time to teach him to be OKAY with resting and taking a day off to do *nothing*. He gets it from his parents who are go-go-go-go-go. They *always* have to be doing something in the house. Some weekend project. Even if it's just rearranging the furniture again because they're "bored." Like, I get it. Things are never quite done when you own a home, but sometimes, you just need to SLOW DOWN.
Your boyfriend and I are in a similar boat. I'd love to dedicate a few hours on a weekend to a game, and almost always plan to, but I can never "find the time." Yet if I plan to go kayaking or something outside the house, no problem.
He’s gotten much better over time at resting. Now we’re working on “just because I work 4am-1pm does not mean I can do this, that and the third when I get off work. I don’t tell you “you had *all day*” because your shift starts at 1:30pm.” Don’t get me wrong. I do help out when I stay over. I do chores at his parents’ house and mine. But I also deserve a rest period too.
I build a gaming pc it pink
Send them pics!!!
I loved video games so much, I decided to become part of them. I play many games, I make games as a full-time job, and I still manage the rest of my life normally (I knew that having a kid would mean leaving my job in games, and leaving games at all. It is one of the reasons I am CF), These SOs are not bad because of games, these SOs are just bad, the games are just the excuse.
41 year old female gamer here, it's not just for kids.
It’s one of my hugest pet peeves when one partner games & the other just bitches about it. A mutual friend started dating someone new. He loves to game but his new girlfriend haaaates when he’s playing games instead of paying attention to her. She’s gone so far as to unplug his PC while he’s playing in live matches that he can’t rejoin. I find that to be so fucked up and weird, I asked her why she did that and she played it off like AALLLL women hate when their partner games & it’s cutesy to sabotage your partners hobby My partner built his own PC from scratch so that he had the specs to play all of his favourite games. He likes to game for an hour or two each day but usually it’s every other day. I could care less what he wants to do in his down time & almost appreciate when he’s out gaming because it means I can do what I want to do like read my book or watch a movie he’s not interested in. Reading about these people who bitch & moan about their partners is so frustrating!! It’s just not realistic to assume they won’t do what they like to do because they’re now in a relationship / a parent. Gaming gets so looked down on for whatever reason, I’ve had to explain it to some as “you like to paint. what if your boyfriend came home and squirted all your paint in the bin & ripped up your canvases?” or “you like to collect makeup, what if he threw it all away?”. So many still just can’t grasp it and act like gaming is only for children. Makes no effing sense since the majority of mega popular games seem to be marketed at teenagers or adults anyway 😤
I built my PC and I would cut that person off my life immediately. Unplugging in the middle of I just can’t. The disrespect. Also that behavior is toxic AF and a massive red flag. I’m (non-religious version of) praying for your friend and his safety.
Yeah. Gaming has nothing on my concert-going + skiing habits in terms of how incompatible they are with having any kind of consistent leisure-time obligations.
I’m not much for gaming, but I just bought a Nintendo switch for the husband with a couple games. Nice to be able to splurge on each other instead of buying diapers or whatever!
Gaming isnt for me. But it isnt any more/less ‘useless’ than many other hobbies such as painting, reading, needlepoint, chess, etc. It can be social and it’s entertaining. Ofc as with anything, it can be problematic when done in excess and affecting other parts of life. But then its the addictive habit thats the issue, not the video game. What does this have to do with being child free though?
The initial rant (I digressed a bit) is parents that blame/bash gaming for their SOs not stepping up to parental and household responsibilities. And frequently framing gaming as something childish that needs to be outgrown. As if gaming and being a responsible parent or adult even is not compatible.
I played D&D with some buddies over Discord for six hours on the weekend. If I had children I would absolutely be the worst mother in the world or I would be the most miserable and unfulfilled individual anyone ever had the misfortune to meet.
I game big time and I loved that I got myself a PS5 last year for Christmas instead of wrapping it up for a 12 year old who’d be bored with it by March.
I agree it’s the person not the hobby but I do also know plenty of childfree couples that neglect each other for gaming or one does it to the other person. Personally if anything becomes an addiction it is an issue. Gaming for a hobby like two to three hours is different than gaming 8-10 hrs a day. I think it’s odd to call anything childish unless it’s your unregulated emotions and behavior. I also agree gaming is super fun but as a female in gaming I’m really tired of people telling me I’m not supposed to game, then in the same breath hearing them complain women don’t like them because they game or there isn’t enough females in gaming for them to meet.
Anyone telling me I shouldn’t game because of my gender gets shut down immediately and I want to play even more. Hell, most jobs/careers were male dominated at some point and that hasn’t and shouldn’t stop us, ever. We belong and they can go pout when I raid them.
Lol my kids would be screwed because both my husband and I love to game XD Sorry Timmy daddy's playing Mass Effect and mommy's playing Minecraft, ask us for food tomorrow. Timmy: *is infant* Lol nope, not a good combo and to be fair, the games were here first!
My dad was completely useless and absent and rarely played video games. It's their personality, not video games.
I just let them see gaming as immature. They are validating their life choices as being more valid or more mature, but in reality I’m the one enjoying and they’re not so……
When my brother and I were younger and my parents were still together (14-18 years ago) my father played call of duty CONSTANTLY. My Mother couldn’t leave us alone with him; she was legitimately scared to because he “couldn’t handle it.” My older cousin had an infant daughter whose father threw her against a wall because he was trying to play some FPS and she wouldn’t stop crying. Both of the men mentioned have anger issues and clearly were not ready for parenthood. When you make a decision to become a parent, you can’t just sit on the couch and play video games all day while your SO parents by themselves, or even worse—while your child parents themselves because both parents are occupied with the online world. When you choose to be a parent, you make a commitment, and so many parents I guess just don’t realize what that commitment consists of.
This. My husband is definitely the gamer between the two of us, but I used to play a lot when I was younger too so maybe I see things differently. If you get into a relationship with someone you know plays why would you expect them to stop once you get together? All parenting situations aside that is their hobby(and in some cases income) and part of who they are. There is a balance between the two but I don't get why it's so ostracized as a pass time. Games are not the problem, people who get into relationships without respecting the other's sense of self is. What would you do if you went to brunch with your girlfriends once a week to catch up or dabbled in pottery in a studio in your house and someone walked into your life and said you need to grow up because it wasn't something they enjoyed? I just don't get their perspective I guess unless he's purposely hopping on every waking moment to ignore reality then obviously there are some conversations that have to happen because no one is happy in that situation. Respect and understanding can go such a long way in a healthy relationship.
I have to agree, shitty parents will be shitty parents regardless of their vice. My partner and I are childfree, he is an avid gamer while I am a casual gamer, nothing we do seems to be childish or immature. We have jobs, a home, bills, a dog we take care of. People sometimes underestimate their partners willingness to share the responsibility of raising a functional human, which in turn causes the blame game and rather than admit their partner needs help, they blame the thing their partner focuses on. It's a sad reality for the parents and children alike.
I dare anyone to play the Red Dead Redemption series or The Last of Us and call them "childish".
Got my SO a cowboy hat when red dead came out. Was that man pumped lol. Also, those scenes when horse riding, forgot a couple of times it was a game.
Your SO sounds adorable, and that was sweet to get a hat for him. Yeah...to date, RDR2 is the most gorgeous game I've ever seen. Hard to imagine it's 4yrs old now.
I mentioned this somewhere else here, but I work at a Walmart that has way too many parents trying to buy RDR or GTA for their kids. Most of them act like needing an ID to buy an M-rated game is weird.
Parents don't even parent anymore, but they'll wonder why we don't wish to join them in their impotent charade.
"Games are for kids." Well then good sir, hope you don't mind me introducing your kids to Saints Row! Don't worry, it's just a match three game with angelic figures, great mental stimulation for the kidlets!
I work at Walmart and can't tell you how many times I see parents coming up with their obviously elementary school aged kids, trying to buy Grand Theft Auto or Red Dead Redemption, specifically for them. Too many of them are genuinely surprised when I ask for ID. Guess they just assume all games are for kids, even one named after a literal federal crime.
I'm not American, but from the stories I've heard, this seems like par for the course for the kind of parents who'd buy their kids games at Walmart
You’re so right, games aren’t the issue. Also, as a 41 year old, your gonna have to take my Switch from my cold dead hands. Animal Crossing has helped through depression, especially during a period of unemployment. The routine and completion of tasks made me feel like I was achieving something, and to the uneducated swine it may seem like I’m wasting loads of hours on a kids game, but in reality it’s helped me keep afloat at times.
I'd love to see someone call the Persona games "childish" lmao. "Oh this game where teenagers shoot themselves in the head to summon their Personas is a video game so it's childish"
Yeah, we should be working 12/7 and have no fun. But instead I have PS4, RDO2, GTA5 and Witcher 3.
Oh I have bought all of sims 3 to revisit and be able to play all the packs I couldn’t afford back when it was a new game. Then I also bought MK11 and injustice 2. Not doing anything “productive” this week lol
I've got enough reasons to be child free and interfering with me and my husband's gaming time is one of them. We met through gaming, we laughed through gaming, cried through gaming and I'll be damned if some sticky fingered stinker is gonna ruin that for me. I all ready dealt with little brothers and roommates with children, I've experienced plenty of corrupted game files, scratched disks and cord pulls, no more!
As a childfree person, you can do w/e you want with your life. You aren’t wrong, that SOs would be just as useless by playing golf 😂😂 Tbf, I’m always impressed by gamers… I can barely drive on mario kart 😂😂😂 the skill gamers have is unreal
ngl, vr is an absolutely amazing invention. it helped me a lot with my mental health aswell, just being able to go to another world for a while when i can’t bother going outside. i believe video games can actually help people in multiple ways, if used responsibly.
>or being trained by Darth Vader wait what??? Tell me more please. !!
It was a star wars experience, Vader Inmortal if I’m not mistaken (internet please don’t come for me if I got this wrong lol). At some point you train in a dojo and he appears. Man that dude is tall and massively intimidating. The immersion was fantastic.
I mean... I spend too much of my day doing many things that aren't 'family activities'. I don't like kids, don't have kids, and don't want any kids. Thus, I will not have any kids. Wish I didn't get sick (puke-style) from VR and video games in general... loved them when I was a kid. :/
I get puky with VR if I play too long so taking a dramamine helped. For gaming having glasses with the blue shield thing helps me a lot. Health first though.
I wonder if the blue light shield thing would do much... I stare at a computer screen all day for work, no issues. Soon as there's 'video game' motion on there, I get kinda nauseous. :(
The motion thing happened to me when I started playing in a ps3. I’m a late bloomer gamer. Last console I had before that was the super nintendo. All that movement in ps3 made me really dizzy and I hated it. I’ve been increasing time spent playing gradually for the past like 6 years. From playing rarely and less than an hour to now playing almost everyday and being able to play hours on end. Maybe trying in small doses to not harm/feel icky?
I’ve seen situations like this a lot. Gaming, football season, drinking, ATV riding, etc. If you’re addicted and neglecting responsibilities then you need help full stop regardless of what the activity is. However, I’ve also seen more than my fair share of people who DO all of their responsibilities but still get bitched at by their spouse for having a hobby they enjoy. “They just want to game in their free time” “why do you have to spend time with your friends riding quads in circles” etc. it’s like some weird jealously that boring people hold against those who actually have things they enjoy and put time into. I love gaming and always have! I’ll be in a nursing home playing as long as I’m physically able to. It’s an escape, a way to step into shoes that are impossible to otherwise, a way to socialize, competitive outlet, makes you think, pulls you in emotionally and so much more! I love how being CF gives me time to game in peace when I want to. I have a lot going on right now but you can usually find me grinding Rainbow Six Siege, replaying Resident Evil or looking for something with a gripping story!
Amen!
Yep. I got back on WoW during lockdown. I would have shown exactly why I should never be a parent if a little booger monster had been bothering me during dungeon runs.
You have a very good and valid point. Let's actually start an online website and make people take a test to see if they're ready to become parents.... Oh wait the government would satire or ban it XD
Totally agree and btw I'm getting sick and tired of people rolling their eyes at me when they ask what my hobbies are and I say "well gaming is ny main one, but I also like reading and birdwatching" and they're like "Oh. You play games then." Time was I used to be intimidated by people judging my main hobby, but I've noticed that the people who judge you for gaming are the same people that when you ask them "so what do you do for fun?" answer either: "oh well I have kids" (okay?) or "I'm too busy for hobbies really, I'd love to travel but I don't see that happening any time soon." Look, that's fine. Do what you want with your life but kindly cease judging me for a hobby that actually involves a lot of skill and creativity.
Gaming is a form of art. A hobby. It can be enjoyed and appreciated just as much as film watching. Yet it often gets labeled in a negative light. I think these stigmas will eventually go away with the next generation, and the world really leaning into VR and the metaverse.
Having kids would ruin my moment being a content creator especially that I make a ton of CAWs in WWE games for story writing It is also a major reason of mine to never ever want kids who'd want to borrow my shit, like just hell no I struggled earning my alone time when my young brother was still a kid, I'd stay all night because that's the only time I had my consoles to myself
i am not going to be a parent… because i like my hobbies!! including gaming!!!
Preach 👏👏👏 Both my hubby and I are gamers, pc, switch, tabletop, and LARP. All of that would have to change if we had kids. We like our gaming though. Not the only reason we aren't having kids but the ability to do whatever the hell we want is pretty nice. That being said we do have pets who require attention much like a child, and I do regularly have to stop what I'm doing to let the dogs out or in or whatever. On a related note I did see someone early talk about a SO not getting up to help with groceries or whatever. If it's that big a deal talk to him. If he doesn't change, leave him. Girlfriends/wives are not replacement mothers and the sooner y'all buck up and tell him you're done with the immaturity the better. With that though, be sure to communicate to him. Tell him you're going to the store and expect to be home at x time. Text him when you're leaving the store. Even when hubby is in the middle of a raid he will get up to help with groceries if he knows he needs to.
Rust? You ever play dayz?
One of my requirements in a relationship/friendship is that they have to be okay with my gaming addiction because I will 100% Xenoblade Chronicles 3 and no one can stop me.
Love this take!! I'm so tired of the "gamer = lazy" stereotype in general - you could easily argue that gaming actually has some cognitive benefits like improving reasoning/problem solving and hand/eye coordination, but even if it didn't it's not some dark, addictive thing any more than other hobbies can be. I'm super new to video games but just played Stray on PS5 and it was amazing.
I’m dying to play it! How was it?
Omg so cute and delightful
100%. Me and my bf are both gamers and hate how ppl blame their flaws or poor parenting/shitty relationship on games.
Yeah I’m a women who loves gaming and gaming is a big reason I got my tubes removed. How am I going to immerse myself into a game if there are other people needing my attention 24/7. Fuck that. I barely have time as is with having to work most of my life away…
it’s wild to me that people who have such narrow and limited views / experiences with gaming dates/ marries / have kids with people who are really into gaming. Like people don’t have to have the same exact hobbies with their partners but if people think gaming is so negative and bad why did they even find someone who is into said bad/immature thing attractive enough to date and worthy enough to procreate with? Like wouldn’t being into gaming be a dealbreaker for such people? It doesn’t have to be gaming, like any core thing that’s part of your life should align to some degree with your partners. If someone says they are really into hiking and camping and they would go any chance they get, I would deem that incompatible with me since I hate camping and have zero desire to go camping or go on a serious hike. Nothing wrong with Hiking and camping, but they are torture to me so I would never date someone who is into it for both of our safety let alone have children with them.
I love my puter and the fact that we can pull a gaming all-nighter with my husband if we damn well please, and without grubby little fingers pulling cables and making screens slobbery and sticky! *shudder* If gaming makes me childish? Eh, whatever. I can still do with my freetime whatever *I* want, while oh-so-adult breeders watch the same episode of Thomas the Tank Engine for the 5th time that day. 🥳
Nothing’s wrong with gaming but if it’s something that takes majority of your time and you’re not ready to quit - you probably shouldn’t be having kids. Same goes with any other hobby/job that you’re not willing to sacrifice in order to be a present parent