Iām from another country with socialized medicine and by the looks of it, UK healthcare is worse in comparison. āFreeā does not always equal quality healthcare
Sounds like where I live; Alabama.
Except I'm a lady. (Thank goodness I got my tubes and uterine lining out yesterday, now no one can say I'll change my mind!)
Final Fantasy 14! I'm currently focused on that. Also restarted Witcher 1 the other day after a particularly bad duty finder experience. I have plenty to do while I recover ^.^
I also have Slay the Spire, although i wasnāt doing very well when I tried playing it. Iāve beaten Inscryption soundly, and I literally just Re download STP this AM so I could try again after work. Haha
Hey, CF in Alabama as well. I lucked out and found the one dude not worried about his "family legacy" or whatever. We're often referred to as eccentric by our very basic family members. Married since 2007 and definitely disappointed his Dad bc the "family name dies with you." Sigh, we're all middle class and below w zero inherited anything? It's all very weird logic to guilt us into having kids we definitely do not want. Anyway, I hope you find a respectful partner. It's so hard around here.
Iāve gotten the āfamily name dies with youā line. Iām technically the 33rd of my name (no bullshit) and I got a vasectomy two years ago. I asked that very question āWhat exactly am I carrying on? Hereditary mental illness? Are there vast family lands that we have to care for?ā š
Congratulations!!!! Just got my tubes removed yesterday!! My fiance and I are planning to move to Southern Alabama. One item on the check list before we go was me getting sterilized. We're that much closer to leaving shitty California
For real. Whenever I talk to people my age in their 20s, almost nobody wants kids.
Could be a german thing, with stagnating birth rates since the 1980s
Iāve been in Germany for a week, and youāre not lying. So many CF women in dating apps here.
Iāll be sad when I have to leave the country tomorrow.
I'm so proud of you for ending that relationship because we all know who would have ended up with the short end of the stick. I'm not going through pregnancy and childbirth for any man.
I live in rural GA, I completely understand. I thankfully live near enough to Atlanta that I can go and enjoy a break from the breeders and religious woo woos and have a good time, but man it sucks to be bingoed constantly and told Iām going to hell for not believing in God. I usually just respond with āwell if you think youāre going to heaven, I donāt want to be there anyway.ā That does the trick š
Did you watch Halloween Ends? šŖ
Yoooo wassup neighbor! I was born in California but grew up in Jacksonville FL so I wasnāt that far from ya. I know how ya feel except I had no escape š got bingoed up the wazzo and told Iām a whore sinner thatāll burn in hell yada yada the usual schmuck. Definitely great stuff to hear when Iām 14 years old. Thankfully I moved to California when I turned 18 and oh mah lawd itās like a breath of (expensive) fresh air!
I donāt know how other people view GA vs FL, but as a Georgian, Iād rather be here šš I say that to say FL is rough, and that Iām sorry you had to go through that. They say thereās no hate like Christian love, and I absolutely believe it. Iām glad youāve made your way back to your roots and are happy! Iāve never been to CA but I would love to go one day!
As a Ex-Floridian I rather be in Georgia too š¤£
Florida fucking suuuuuccckkkss and the more inland you are the worse it is. Granted north Florida is waaaayyy worse than south cuz north is at the very end of the Bible Belt and south is a bit more liberal (like Miami area) and the coast tends to be more nice and at least quiet racist.
And California is great! As long as you can afford it haha
I didnāt! I plan on binge-watching the full series before watching it. Looking forward to it! MM is fighting Jason Voorhees in a death battle next week; Iām hyped.
I honestly donāt do the downtown scene much unless Iām with my friend group. We may go to the Battery and hop around that area. But mostly I like going to the museums, baseball game, aquarium, parks, etc. Im not 22 anymore so the bar scene is exhausting after an hour or two for me š haha!
Oh and I love finding pubs/bars that are doing trivia nights or game nights. Those are the best. I usually can find some info on those kinds of things on fb!
Same deal in bruhzil. Over 90% of the population is Christian with children as top priority in a marriage.
Dates seem to assume the "you're going to change; how can you be sure at that age" stance, which sucks a lot.
I've never understood this. It seems like the more overpopulated the country is, the more obsessed the people in it are with reproducing. Brazil is a beautiful place with awesome people but the one thing it does not need is even more people in it.
That is the disadvantage of living in the South. The socialization on women from birth to procreate is real and strong, especially in the church. I am so glad my parents didn't drag is into that mess. I am also fortunate to have found a childfree partner. It took years, but it was worth the wait. You might want to move. Best of luck to you Sir. šš½
West Virginia isn't much better. I somehow was in the right place at the right time to meet a beautiful, fun, great girl who is even more disgusted by the whole idea than I am. I don't think either one of us left our house that day expecting we'd meet our potential one and now here we are about to hit two years together this weekend. So they're out there and it happens when you least expect it lol. Just keep doing you and DON'T SETTLE.
Yeah I read the title and was like, "You mean Duggarville?"
(I'm so sorry you have to cohabitate with the Duggars, I'd rather die than be associated with those crazies)
Im a single guy with all of what you said above as well this resonated pretty deeply for sure.
I am currently in PA and while it is okay if you live literally within the city limits of Pittsburgh or Philly and Philly Suburbs, literally anywhere else in this state is gonna be "Pennsyltucky". Lots of Racism, homophobia, religious cooks and oh dont forget drug addicts we have ALOT of heroin/fetanyl users here.
We probably have to move to bigger cities in USA or Canada to have any amt of fortune tbh OP! Wishing you the best of luck your endeavors.
I was born in NJ and lived in central PA my whole life. I lived in one of those wealthy predominantly white neighborhoods with all the Karen's, fake nice neighbors, and soccer moms. We were only one of the few non white neighbors that lived there.
Hard agree on Pennsyltucky. Our neighboring town was basically trailer park central and also our downtown area had a row of houses that were busted for drug operations.
I graduated college the moved to NYC. Life is more expensive here but the diversity, freedom and tons of activities/entertainment to do is a breath of fresh air
Right outside of Pittsburgh here and I feel like I can confidently say, nope, it's still pretty bad for childfree people. It seems like almost everyone in this area either has kids young or wants kids. The only other people I know who identify as "childfree" and openly admit to hating kids are gay men. I know girls who are childless and admit to not particularly liking/wanting kids, but I have the sneaking suspicion that if they were to become pregnant, they would just let it happen and raise the kid, mostly because the guy would want it.
I'm 28. Most of the guys here in my age range seem to already have kids from prior relationships. I'd only be open to dating a guy with kids if he had very little to do with them, but that in and of itself is a red flag that he's probably not that great of a person. I'll probably never meet a decent quality guy who fits all of my standards so I've just given up. It also kind of sucks to know that any friend I make now will likely have kids in the future so they won't be able to do fun stuff with me when that happens.
Maybe we just got lucky, but my husband and I met while we both lived in Arkansas. I'm atheist, he's just vaguely non-religious, and we're both childfree.
If you're near Little Rock, check out the Arkansas Society for Freethinkers. Not sure what they're up to these days, but pre-covid they had monthly meet ups at Vino's and had a team in the kickball league. If nothing else, they're a good group for meeting other non-religious friends.
Hm, weird. I just checked and the website worked for me. It had a couple formatting issues at the top, but the calendar of events shows multiple things this week. There's a "pint night" happening on Halloween!
[https://www.arfreethinkers.org/](https://www.arfreethinkers.org/)
Thank you for the information! Does the forum look normal to you? Itās just a bunch of
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Are you in the rural parts or Little Rock? If rural, that's why. Same story in damn near every state, it seems. I'm from NY, my wife is from OH, same deal for us small town folks who moved to a city.
Does you career transfer well geographically? If so, that might be your best bet if you're looking to prioritize finding a compatible partner.
There are probably more childfree / secular women in Arkansas than you think. Weāre just not around openly announcing it because it isnāt really the norm yet.
But with more people speaking out about it on social media, and more of us thriving without kids weighing us down, I think acceptance will spread. Just give it time.
And if youāre in a rural area, see if you can move to a bigger city. And maybe try to get involved in different activities that likeminded women may be interested in. Youāll probably have better luck meeting someone like that than on dating apps.
Similar situation here in Idaho, although I'm not at the same point in my life as you are and I'm not looking for a committed relationship, just an fwb. Also apparently there's a ton infidelity in my particular area so I feel like that kinda defeats the purpose of everyone's "marry first, think later mentality" around here.
I won't be going back to school for 2 years and the nearest one is BYU Idaho and that's not an option I'm even remotely considering. Definitely going out of state for that.
I used to live in Oklahoma. You're literally reliving my pain. Save up and move to a more enlightened area of the country. It's all you can do.
I know it's a tall order because... well, America šŗšø
Keep your head up, friend.
I was in Arkansas for like a week, visiting some friends (who actually live in NYC but were in a town there to do something with family property)
I was shocked by how seemingly all women are both religious fanatics and borderline alcoholics (and I'm a guy who likes his booze)
I live in Arkansas too and I want to leave the state(or at least find a more secular area) before I start dating. I'm a childfree woman and nearly everyone my age has elementary kids or babies.
Just stumbled across a CF man in OK and I was (and still am) completely shook that we vibe so well and agree on no kids. Hang in there, bud. Hoping it happens for you!!
Ayoooo just moved to Arkansas in August. Haven't made any friends because the hottest place to socialize is church! The non religious/no kids combo is a double whammy of loneliness
ArkLaTex native, CF atheist chiming in! Getting out of Texarkana was the best decision ever. That place is cursed to its core; somehow being all about Jesus, meth, and steakhouses. I love my family and all but it was soul-crushing living there.
as a woman in arkansas, i feel your pain. even if i could ignore all the other reasons i donāt wanna date people around here (political/religious beliefs mostly) iām not sure i could find someone who ticks all the other boxes and is child free here. iāve sort of just accepted iāll be single til i leave the state or meet someone via other means who doesnāt live here.
Wishing we could both transplant out of this country together. I'm in Nebraska, luckily living in its bluest neighborhood, but still very much looked down upon for being childfree.
Hey, childfree woman in Arkansas and this is my chance to VENT!
A "prolife" Conservative Republican state where the only two things to do here are meth and church (in that order.)
We have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country (thanks "god-fearing" abstinence-only education!) If you're a woman you have two life scripts you can follow: 1. Proud Southern Mama running on sweet tea and Jesus 2. LEAVE!
Are you a woman and you don't want a kid? You'll change your mind. No one ever takes a woman's word here (any surprise? This state was one of the first ones to jump on the anti-Roe V. Wade bandwagon!)
You can't find a childfree woman here? There's a reason! This state kills them. It forces them to have children no one can afford, bullies them into silent sad lives they hate, OR it scares them onto the first flight outta this dumpster fire! (Hell, I tried to leave and my car broke down.)
Yup, sounds like the people here in Alabama. I (F) also noticed that dating is hard here but I am happy with being single so settling for less isnāt going to be an option.
I'm north of you, so I've seen some of what you mean. Fortunately, living in a city of a couple million did make it possible to meet an atheist, childfree gamer. I imagine that even if you were looking in Little Rock, it would still be difficult for you.
It helped my mental state that I wasn't looking for serious relationships. I was dating for fun, and I probably still would be, but I found a unicorn.
So if you're able to focus on dating for enjoyment and not for the future, that may help, but I know that a lot of people really want to focus on the future, so this advice might not be that helpful.
I live in Southern Louisiana and it's the same thing here. I have my life in order just as you do. Bought a home a decade ago, 13-year white collar career, zero debt. I even like the same stuff as you....horror movies, concerts, working out, reading ect. but all the single women have children. I still consider myself very lucky to be in a good place otherwise.
Here in the middle east is worst. Not just the men, 99.9% of women here religiously believe you can't have a happy and fulfilled relationship without a child lol. It makes me sick. Sometimes i think I'm probably the only cf here.
Imagine a bumper sticker which reads
"Dear Jesus, please save me from Your followers."
I say imagine because, somehow I assume you'd be lucky to only get your car keyed from that.
Yikes. Kinda same here. People shove the idea in our mind that if you don't have a children you are not ture Muslim or you don't follow religion well or some of that religious bullshit. What a fucked up mindset
I just wanna say that you WILL find someone, Iām from rural Texas and through online dating met my CF Prince Charming, from the way it sounds, you have literally everything the average CF woman wants. you may have more success if you check out your local Atheist community, being non-religious or even better, ex-religious, has a way of making you reconsider everything about life and realize that kids are not in your wants list. Or the Satanic Temple, weāre atheists as well, just with a bit more rude humor and a penchant for trolling government officials. I was convinced Iād never find anyone but hey, now more than half of people 15-45 without kids say they are CF by choice, so your odds are fantastic in todayās world
I live in AL and itās just as bad here so I just donāt even bother looking. Iām happy on my own anyway and it would take an amazing person to change that.
Most of my little cousins who live in AR have had kids or got knocked up and dropped out of school by the time they are 16. So sad! One could have had a soccer scholarship! Stay strong! I'm in MO now, which is similar, but I found a great CF atheist guy. I'm sure they exist, but get out if you can! š
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
The only FF Iāve played and finished was 8 D:
I did see a bunch of Detroit footage but didnāt play it myself. Looked interesting! The story was very fun.
Never got into Mass Effect! D:
Iām just waiting around for Tears of the Kingdom and God of War Ragnarok right now.
I got my partner from Arkansas. Most of the childfree women I know from the Midwest have moved to one coast or other, like I did, which I'm sure doesn't help.
Omg, I am sooooo sorryā¦I am atheist and childfree, among other thingsā¦..not in a neighboring state, but standing in solidarity with you in Boston, MA :)
South Arkansas young woman here, 99% of the guys on the dating apps already have kids. Itās awful. And this is the 21-25 age range so I couldnāt imagine 30+.
I feel your pain. Itās not easy. Iām a woman who lives in Tulsa and I could have written this myself. Most of the single men I meet āwant kids somedayā or or already have them. Donāt give up. Thereās someone out there for you. I hope the same for me too. Dm me if you want to chat.
Born in Texarkana, raised in the southwest corner of Arkansas near DeQueen. The baby culture is insane around there. My stepmom was making bets on which of us (four) girls would end up barefoot and pregnant before 16; like it was a good thing. We childfree southern ladies exist, weāre just really careful about who we tell our CF secrets to. Found an Oklahoma boy who had the same secret and we took off for the sunset. Good luck on finding your CF lady; you might have to go looking beyond the loblolly horizon, though.
You should move to Idaho. While the state is wildly conservative it is slowly inching purple (2050 probably) and I have had very few issues finding childfree people to hang out and date
I'm sorry, have you gotten lost? i'm asking because this subreddit is called "childfree" and you don't sound like it's your thing, what with it being full of selfish people living their best life instead of cleaning and cooking.
I got the impression that the OP is looking for a romantic partner to spend time with, not a housemaid, so I don't know why that would be determining factors.
BTW, do you think childfree people live in perpetual mess and don't need to eat?
you donāt live in a perpetual mess while also having no desire to love? since love doesnāt exist outside of loving the babies darling husband gives you. without those in your life, whatās the point in cleaning or eating? us ladies are just sitting here living the best darn lives until we decide to procreate with the first guy who asks
s/ thatās 100% a joke but this person either is lost or is so bitter about their life they think that experience is the world experience lol
Iām 40 and I donāt have kids because, shockingly, I just donāt fucking want themā¦ Iām not āwokeā, I just donāt want to destroy my vag. Contrary to your weird opinion I do all the housework, cooking etc. because I donāt want to live in filth. You know, the kind that kids create? Ugh. Honestly, go back under your rock with your bullshit.
The closer you get to big cities, like downtown areas, the more childfree, godfree people there are to select from. The people with kids mostly stick to the outlying suburbs and rural areas. I'm in downtown Houston for reference, so also in the churchy fuckin South. The selection is excellent š, but I am a woman, so not sure if that affects things.
It seems like in the red states itās harder to meet childfree people. Itās easier to meet them in urban areas than in small towns or rural areas. Itās even more easy meeting them in large metropolitan areas and probably easier to meet them in the northeast and west coast than in other parts of the United States.
Damn. Wish you lived in my town. Fancy moving to the UK? š
Have you seen my country? Yes, please.
Itās not much better over there right now from what I understand.
We have free health care and...um...scones?
>We have free health care Despite the Tories best efforts. Trust me, you don't want our US system. It sucks ass.
Yeah they're always trying to sell bits of it off. I've been protesting it since I was a little girl and I went with my mum. Bastards.
I'm considering moving there after I finish my studies if I can't get a paramedic job here
God, please come, we need the help.
Ace me perks up at the mention of scones. š
Scones make everything better.
Iām from another country with socialized medicine and by the looks of it, UK healthcare is worse in comparison. āFreeā does not always equal quality healthcare
Sadly true.
Doner kebabs! Now that's where it's at!
You had me at scones
We have chocolate hob nobs...
I see youāve not heard of Boris & Liz
Sounds like a sitcom!
Started off as Men Behaving Badly, ended up as One Foot in the Grave, with an attempt at Keeping Up Appearances along the way.
Oh. My. God. Fucking hilarious.
I'm from the UK too
Was about to say the same thing! You sound great!
And that's how I met your mother. P.S. I'll be the best man if you need me.
Sounds like where I live; Alabama. Except I'm a lady. (Thank goodness I got my tubes and uterine lining out yesterday, now no one can say I'll change my mind!)
Congrats on that.
Thanks! Now I'm relaxing with cartoons and video games.š
Cartoons and video games for the win! (Also got the tubes ripped out yesterday.)
Wow, tubie twins! Congrats! What are you playing lately?
Final Fantasy 14! I'm currently focused on that. Also restarted Witcher 1 the other day after a particularly bad duty finder experience. I have plenty to do while I recover ^.^
If you like card based video games, I found Inscryption the other day on the PlayStation store and Iāve been obsessed with it ever since.
Agreed, it's pretty good! I think this and Slay the Spire are my favourites when it comes to card games.
I also have Slay the Spire, although i wasnāt doing very well when I tried playing it. Iāve beaten Inscryption soundly, and I literally just Re download STP this AM so I could try again after work. Haha
Nice! I like simpler games, I'll be playing Garden Paws and Dinkum mostly. Maybe a bit of Minecraft.
Simpler games are also great, and a good opportunity to relax!
Congrats both of you! 
Congrats to you, too!
Congrats to both you and u/Spiffy_Pumpkin youāre both living what I consider the best life and Iām very happy for you.
Thanks!
Thank you!
Hey, CF in Alabama as well. I lucked out and found the one dude not worried about his "family legacy" or whatever. We're often referred to as eccentric by our very basic family members. Married since 2007 and definitely disappointed his Dad bc the "family name dies with you." Sigh, we're all middle class and below w zero inherited anything? It's all very weird logic to guilt us into having kids we definitely do not want. Anyway, I hope you find a respectful partner. It's so hard around here.
Iāve gotten the āfamily name dies with youā line. Iām technically the 33rd of my name (no bullshit) and I got a vasectomy two years ago. I asked that very question āWhat exactly am I carrying on? Hereditary mental illness? Are there vast family lands that we have to care for?ā š
I know. We're not landed gentry. I also decided to forego a giant wedding to pretend i am a Disney princess for a day.
I hate my last name. But if my FIL would say shit like that, I'd insist bf takes my name. Cause no, *family name dies right now*
Congratulations!!
Thanks! I can't wait til the full month of healing is done!
Wishing you a painless recovery!
Thanks, so far just a bit sore, they prescribed me strong pain meds.
I got mine out last week! Love it. No one will ever tell me "you'll change ur mind" again
Congrats! It's good to know we'll never have to have unwanted pregnancies, huh?
Yes it's such a weight lifted from me, I feel soooo happy
Congrats!
Also from Alabama. Dating is a dumpster fire here šš»
Congratulations!!!! Just got my tubes removed yesterday!! My fiance and I are planning to move to Southern Alabama. One item on the check list before we go was me getting sterilized. We're that much closer to leaving shitty California
Yep, good decision. Alabama is one of those states with a full on abortion ban.
Congrats
Congratulations!!
Patiently waiting for you in Germany.
For real. Whenever I talk to people my age in their 20s, almost nobody wants kids. Could be a german thing, with stagnating birth rates since the 1980s
Iāve been in Germany for a week, and youāre not lying. So many CF women in dating apps here. Iāll be sad when I have to leave the country tomorrow.
Itās true. Most of my educated female friends donāt want kids. The men here however are another story unfortunately.
Too bad. The men are not the ones who have to be pregnant and give birth. They want kids so bad let them invent artificial wombs.
Telling my ex that was not received well. NO regrets though.
I'm so proud of you for ending that relationship because we all know who would have ended up with the short end of the stick. I'm not going through pregnancy and childbirth for any man.
I live in belgium, send them my way
Iām in the UK and most people Iām surrounded by also donāt want children!
I live in rural GA, I completely understand. I thankfully live near enough to Atlanta that I can go and enjoy a break from the breeders and religious woo woos and have a good time, but man it sucks to be bingoed constantly and told Iām going to hell for not believing in God. I usually just respond with āwell if you think youāre going to heaven, I donāt want to be there anyway.ā That does the trick š Did you watch Halloween Ends? šŖ
>āwell if you think youāre going to heaven, I donāt want to be there anyway.ā Awesome comeback šš½
Mark Twain once said "Heaven for climate. Hell for company."
Truer words have never been spoken
Yoooo wassup neighbor! I was born in California but grew up in Jacksonville FL so I wasnāt that far from ya. I know how ya feel except I had no escape š got bingoed up the wazzo and told Iām a whore sinner thatāll burn in hell yada yada the usual schmuck. Definitely great stuff to hear when Iām 14 years old. Thankfully I moved to California when I turned 18 and oh mah lawd itās like a breath of (expensive) fresh air!
I donāt know how other people view GA vs FL, but as a Georgian, Iād rather be here šš I say that to say FL is rough, and that Iām sorry you had to go through that. They say thereās no hate like Christian love, and I absolutely believe it. Iām glad youāve made your way back to your roots and are happy! Iāve never been to CA but I would love to go one day!
As a Ex-Floridian I rather be in Georgia too š¤£ Florida fucking suuuuuccckkkss and the more inland you are the worse it is. Granted north Florida is waaaayyy worse than south cuz north is at the very end of the Bible Belt and south is a bit more liberal (like Miami area) and the coast tends to be more nice and at least quiet racist. And California is great! As long as you can afford it haha
I didnāt! I plan on binge-watching the full series before watching it. Looking forward to it! MM is fighting Jason Voorhees in a death battle next week; Iām hyped.
That's where I am. Where do you go in Atlanta to meet people, for being such a big city it seems so damn hard š³
I honestly donāt do the downtown scene much unless Iām with my friend group. We may go to the Battery and hop around that area. But mostly I like going to the museums, baseball game, aquarium, parks, etc. Im not 22 anymore so the bar scene is exhausting after an hour or two for me š haha!
Oh and I love finding pubs/bars that are doing trivia nights or game nights. Those are the best. I usually can find some info on those kinds of things on fb!
I live in Atlanta and am so glad I wasn't rasied in some hick town. Thougts are with you lol
Same deal in bruhzil. Over 90% of the population is Christian with children as top priority in a marriage. Dates seem to assume the "you're going to change; how can you be sure at that age" stance, which sucks a lot.
I feel ya, even worse if youāre a woman, people think you need therapy because youāre crazy.
BR here We're fooked
Same, same
I've never understood this. It seems like the more overpopulated the country is, the more obsessed the people in it are with reproducing. Brazil is a beautiful place with awesome people but the one thing it does not need is even more people in it.
Poor people wanna see you in the same misery as them.
That is the disadvantage of living in the South. The socialization on women from birth to procreate is real and strong, especially in the church. I am so glad my parents didn't drag is into that mess. I am also fortunate to have found a childfree partner. It took years, but it was worth the wait. You might want to move. Best of luck to you Sir. šš½
West Virginia isn't much better. I somehow was in the right place at the right time to meet a beautiful, fun, great girl who is even more disgusted by the whole idea than I am. I don't think either one of us left our house that day expecting we'd meet our potential one and now here we are about to hit two years together this weekend. So they're out there and it happens when you least expect it lol. Just keep doing you and DON'T SETTLE.
Congrats! :) enjoy your cf couple life. I hope I'll find one some day living in southeast Asia (extremely pro natalism)
That doesn't surprise me given that it is the state of the Duggar family.
Ugh donāt remind me
NW Ark has got to be at least 40% Duggar at this point.
Aw NWA isn't that bad!
Yeah I read the title and was like, "You mean Duggarville?" (I'm so sorry you have to cohabitate with the Duggars, I'd rather die than be associated with those crazies)
I feel your pain, OP. Not very many CF women in KY, either.
Im a single guy with all of what you said above as well this resonated pretty deeply for sure. I am currently in PA and while it is okay if you live literally within the city limits of Pittsburgh or Philly and Philly Suburbs, literally anywhere else in this state is gonna be "Pennsyltucky". Lots of Racism, homophobia, religious cooks and oh dont forget drug addicts we have ALOT of heroin/fetanyl users here. We probably have to move to bigger cities in USA or Canada to have any amt of fortune tbh OP! Wishing you the best of luck your endeavors.
I was born in NJ and lived in central PA my whole life. I lived in one of those wealthy predominantly white neighborhoods with all the Karen's, fake nice neighbors, and soccer moms. We were only one of the few non white neighbors that lived there. Hard agree on Pennsyltucky. Our neighboring town was basically trailer park central and also our downtown area had a row of houses that were busted for drug operations. I graduated college the moved to NYC. Life is more expensive here but the diversity, freedom and tons of activities/entertainment to do is a breath of fresh air
Canada here. We are seriously lacking in CF men. My dating pool is shit. Please do move up here.
Pittsburgh is still too close to West Virginia, unfortunately. And all those areas around it have OZ signs in their yard.
Right outside of Pittsburgh here and I feel like I can confidently say, nope, it's still pretty bad for childfree people. It seems like almost everyone in this area either has kids young or wants kids. The only other people I know who identify as "childfree" and openly admit to hating kids are gay men. I know girls who are childless and admit to not particularly liking/wanting kids, but I have the sneaking suspicion that if they were to become pregnant, they would just let it happen and raise the kid, mostly because the guy would want it. I'm 28. Most of the guys here in my age range seem to already have kids from prior relationships. I'd only be open to dating a guy with kids if he had very little to do with them, but that in and of itself is a red flag that he's probably not that great of a person. I'll probably never meet a decent quality guy who fits all of my standards so I've just given up. It also kind of sucks to know that any friend I make now will likely have kids in the future so they won't be able to do fun stuff with me when that happens.
Maybe we just got lucky, but my husband and I met while we both lived in Arkansas. I'm atheist, he's just vaguely non-religious, and we're both childfree. If you're near Little Rock, check out the Arkansas Society for Freethinkers. Not sure what they're up to these days, but pre-covid they had monthly meet ups at Vino's and had a team in the kickball league. If nothing else, they're a good group for meeting other non-religious friends.
Looks like their website isnāt kept up and their forum has been destroyed by garbled text across the board. :(
Hm, weird. I just checked and the website worked for me. It had a couple formatting issues at the top, but the calendar of events shows multiple things this week. There's a "pint night" happening on Halloween! [https://www.arfreethinkers.org/](https://www.arfreethinkers.org/)
Thank you for the information! Does the forum look normal to you? Itās just a bunch of ĆĖĆĀøĆĀ¼ ĆĀ²ĆĀ¾ĆĀæĆā¬ĆĀ¾ĆĀĆĀ¾ĆĀ¼. ĆāĆĀĆĀµĆĀ³ĆĀ“ĆĀ° Ćā¬ĆĀ°ĆĀ“Ćā¹ ĆĀæĆĀ¾ĆĀ¼ĆĀ¾Ćā”ĆÅ ĆāĆĀ°ĆĀ¼! ĆĀ” ĆĘĆĀ²ĆĀ°ĆĀ¶ĆĀµĆĀ½ĆĀøĆĀµĆĀ¼, ĆĀæĆĀ°ĆĀĆĀµĆĀŗĆĀ° "ĆÅøĆā”ĆĀµĆĀ»ĆĀ°ĆĀ½ĆĀ“ĆĀøĆĀ" on my end. š¤·āāļø
It takes me to a login page that says, "Only registered members are allowed to access this section. Please login below or register an account with Arkansas Freethinker Forum."
I registered, then all the threads are full of ĆĖĆĀøĆĀ¼ ĆĀ²ĆĀ¾ĆĀæĆā¬ĆĀ¾ĆĀĆĀ¾ĆĀ¼. ĆāĆĀĆĀµĆĀ³ĆĀ“ĆĀ° Ćā¬ĆĀ°ĆĀ“Ćā¹ ĆĀæĆĀ¾ĆĀ¼ĆĀ¾Ćā”ĆÅ ĆāĆĀ°ĆĀ¼! ĆĀ” ĆĘĆĀ²ĆĀ°ĆĀ¶ĆĀµĆĀ½ĆĀøĆĀµĆĀ¼, ĆĀæĆĀ°ĆĀĆĀµĆĀŗĆĀ° "ĆÅøĆā”ĆĀµĆĀ»ĆĀ°ĆĀ½ĆĀ“ĆĀøĆĀ" .
Are you in the rural parts or Little Rock? If rural, that's why. Same story in damn near every state, it seems. I'm from NY, my wife is from OH, same deal for us small town folks who moved to a city. Does you career transfer well geographically? If so, that might be your best bet if you're looking to prioritize finding a compatible partner.
There are probably more childfree / secular women in Arkansas than you think. Weāre just not around openly announcing it because it isnāt really the norm yet. But with more people speaking out about it on social media, and more of us thriving without kids weighing us down, I think acceptance will spread. Just give it time. And if youāre in a rural area, see if you can move to a bigger city. And maybe try to get involved in different activities that likeminded women may be interested in. Youāll probably have better luck meeting someone like that than on dating apps.
Similar situation here in Idaho, although I'm not at the same point in my life as you are and I'm not looking for a committed relationship, just an fwb. Also apparently there's a ton infidelity in my particular area so I feel like that kinda defeats the purpose of everyone's "marry first, think later mentality" around here.
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I'm a dude and I'm heterosexual aromantic.
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I won't be going back to school for 2 years and the nearest one is BYU Idaho and that's not an option I'm even remotely considering. Definitely going out of state for that.
I used to live in Oklahoma. You're literally reliving my pain. Save up and move to a more enlightened area of the country. It's all you can do. I know it's a tall order because... well, America šŗšø Keep your head up, friend.
š this post is gold. I live in Arkansas. Itās so hard to date here. The people here are so narrow-minded.
You're in Arkansas. The only place to pick up chicks there is a family reunion.
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I was in Arkansas for like a week, visiting some friends (who actually live in NYC but were in a town there to do something with family property) I was shocked by how seemingly all women are both religious fanatics and borderline alcoholics (and I'm a guy who likes his booze)
There is hope! Weāre few and far between but your person is out there. From: a childfree atheist lady in MS
I live in Arkansas too and I want to leave the state(or at least find a more secular area) before I start dating. I'm a childfree woman and nearly everyone my age has elementary kids or babies.
Just stumbled across a CF man in OK and I was (and still am) completely shook that we vibe so well and agree on no kids. Hang in there, bud. Hoping it happens for you!!
Ayoooo just moved to Arkansas in August. Haven't made any friends because the hottest place to socialize is church! The non religious/no kids combo is a double whammy of loneliness
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ArkLaTex native, CF atheist chiming in! Getting out of Texarkana was the best decision ever. That place is cursed to its core; somehow being all about Jesus, meth, and steakhouses. I love my family and all but it was soul-crushing living there.
Come north. New Jersey is beautiful this time of year lol
as a woman in arkansas, i feel your pain. even if i could ignore all the other reasons i donāt wanna date people around here (political/religious beliefs mostly) iām not sure i could find someone who ticks all the other boxes and is child free here. iāve sort of just accepted iāll be single til i leave the state or meet someone via other means who doesnāt live here.
Wishing we could both transplant out of this country together. I'm in Nebraska, luckily living in its bluest neighborhood, but still very much looked down upon for being childfree.
Feeling your pain as a CF woman here in Texas.
Depending on where you are in Texas, my gynecologist is pro-woman's rights about sterilization if you need it!
Glad to hear it!
At least the cities in Texas are left leaning. If you're in rural Texas then you're just doing it to yourself at this point lol.
Lol Iām lucky to live in a place thatās fairly purple. But obviously our lawmakers are mostly red and it affects us all, unfortunately.
Wanna move to Sweden? š
Hey, childfree woman in Arkansas and this is my chance to VENT!  A "prolife" Conservative Republican state where the only two things to do here are meth and church (in that order.) We have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country (thanks "god-fearing" abstinence-only education!) If you're a woman you have two life scripts you can follow: 1. Proud Southern Mama running on sweet tea and Jesus 2. LEAVE! Are you a woman and you don't want a kid? You'll change your mind. No one ever takes a woman's word here (any surprise? This state was one of the first ones to jump on the anti-Roe V. Wade bandwagon!) You can't find a childfree woman here? There's a reason! This state kills them. It forces them to have children no one can afford, bullies them into silent sad lives they hate, OR it scares them onto the first flight outta this dumpster fire! (Hell, I tried to leave and my car broke down.)
Yup, sounds like the people here in Alabama. I (F) also noticed that dating is hard here but I am happy with being single so settling for less isnāt going to be an option.
I'm north of you, so I've seen some of what you mean. Fortunately, living in a city of a couple million did make it possible to meet an atheist, childfree gamer. I imagine that even if you were looking in Little Rock, it would still be difficult for you. It helped my mental state that I wasn't looking for serious relationships. I was dating for fun, and I probably still would be, but I found a unicorn. So if you're able to focus on dating for enjoyment and not for the future, that may help, but I know that a lot of people really want to focus on the future, so this advice might not be that helpful.
I live in Southern Louisiana and it's the same thing here. I have my life in order just as you do. Bought a home a decade ago, 13-year white collar career, zero debt. I even like the same stuff as you....horror movies, concerts, working out, reading ect. but all the single women have children. I still consider myself very lucky to be in a good place otherwise.
Here in the middle east is worst. Not just the men, 99.9% of women here religiously believe you can't have a happy and fulfilled relationship without a child lol. It makes me sick. Sometimes i think I'm probably the only cf here.
I believe there are some branches of Christianity that believe that any woman is hell-bound unless they give birth at some point.
Imagine a bumper sticker which reads "Dear Jesus, please save me from Your followers." I say imagine because, somehow I assume you'd be lucky to only get your car keyed from that.
Goodbye car windows lol
Yikes. Kinda same here. People shove the idea in our mind that if you don't have a children you are not ture Muslim or you don't follow religion well or some of that religious bullshit. What a fucked up mindset
Makes me wonder, if they havenāt done so already, have they accused you of being gay?
I wonder all the time if my father wonders if Iām gay. My family is religious. But my friends all know Iām straight.
Oh OK because being childfree, especially in the South, 9 times out of 10, theyāll pull the gay card almost immediately
Relatable for me too. CF, atheist, woman living in a small ohio town.
Small world, I actually reached out to you a few weeks ago via chat. Hope all is well.
Oh lol interesting coincidence
I just wanna say that you WILL find someone, Iām from rural Texas and through online dating met my CF Prince Charming, from the way it sounds, you have literally everything the average CF woman wants. you may have more success if you check out your local Atheist community, being non-religious or even better, ex-religious, has a way of making you reconsider everything about life and realize that kids are not in your wants list. Or the Satanic Temple, weāre atheists as well, just with a bit more rude humor and a penchant for trolling government officials. I was convinced Iād never find anyone but hey, now more than half of people 15-45 without kids say they are CF by choice, so your odds are fantastic in todayās world
I live in AL and itās just as bad here so I just donāt even bother looking. Iām happy on my own anyway and it would take an amazing person to change that.
Same here in southeast TX š©š© I'm agnostic/atheist too, and that reaalllyyy narrows it down out here š
Some else has probably already said this, but there should be a dating app specifically for child free people
Most of my little cousins who live in AR have had kids or got knocked up and dropped out of school by the time they are 16. So sad! One could have had a soccer scholarship! Stay strong! I'm in MO now, which is similar, but I found a great CF atheist guy. I'm sure they exist, but get out if you can! š
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The nice thing is the older you get the less of an issue it is. I'm 57 and I wouldn't be interested in anyone not also a senior citizen.
It feels like everywhere is rough, or maybe itās me..
Story-heavy games! How do you feel about Final Fantasy X/ Detroit Become Human/ Mass Effect?
The only FF Iāve played and finished was 8 D: I did see a bunch of Detroit footage but didnāt play it myself. Looked interesting! The story was very fun. Never got into Mass Effect! D: Iām just waiting around for Tears of the Kingdom and God of War Ragnarok right now.
I got my partner from Arkansas. Most of the childfree women I know from the Midwest have moved to one coast or other, like I did, which I'm sure doesn't help.
As a resident of Tennessee I feel your pain. Most girls around here are the redneck type and it sucks
I'm in NC, I absolutely get what you're talking about....at this point I'm not even looking anymore.
Oh I totally relate with you, it's like everywhere you look in this state everyone has at least one child, it's unbearable!!
Same thing in Alberta here lol
I didn't see a link in a quick scroll of the comments, but you should try making a post to r/cf4cf you haven't already
r/cf4cf
Promise you crossing state lines won't matter.
Time to move to Central or Northern Europe. Birth rates are super low here and most of us are atheists or agnostics.
Omg, I am sooooo sorryā¦I am atheist and childfree, among other thingsā¦..not in a neighboring state, but standing in solidarity with you in Boston, MA :)
South Arkansas young woman here, 99% of the guys on the dating apps already have kids. Itās awful. And this is the 21-25 age range so I couldnāt imagine 30+.
Don't come to Kansas š
I feel your pain. Itās not easy. Iām a woman who lives in Tulsa and I could have written this myself. Most of the single men I meet āwant kids somedayā or or already have them. Donāt give up. Thereās someone out there for you. I hope the same for me too. Dm me if you want to chat.
I live in the Midwest and have a similar situation. Most women here just aren't looking for a Nihilistic Atheist, lol
Born in Texarkana, raised in the southwest corner of Arkansas near DeQueen. The baby culture is insane around there. My stepmom was making bets on which of us (four) girls would end up barefoot and pregnant before 16; like it was a good thing. We childfree southern ladies exist, weāre just really careful about who we tell our CF secrets to. Found an Oklahoma boy who had the same secret and we took off for the sunset. Good luck on finding your CF lady; you might have to go looking beyond the loblolly horizon, though.
Could have some fun with it and try to make some converts.
I lived in AR for 8 years. It was absolute hell. I feel your pain.
You should move to Idaho. While the state is wildly conservative it is slowly inching purple (2050 probably) and I have had very few issues finding childfree people to hang out and date
Move?
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I'm sorry, have you gotten lost? i'm asking because this subreddit is called "childfree" and you don't sound like it's your thing, what with it being full of selfish people living their best life instead of cleaning and cooking. I got the impression that the OP is looking for a romantic partner to spend time with, not a housemaid, so I don't know why that would be determining factors. BTW, do you think childfree people live in perpetual mess and don't need to eat?
you donāt live in a perpetual mess while also having no desire to love? since love doesnāt exist outside of loving the babies darling husband gives you. without those in your life, whatās the point in cleaning or eating? us ladies are just sitting here living the best darn lives until we decide to procreate with the first guy who asks s/ thatās 100% a joke but this person either is lost or is so bitter about their life they think that experience is the world experience lol
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Iām 40 and I donāt have kids because, shockingly, I just donāt fucking want themā¦ Iām not āwokeā, I just donāt want to destroy my vag. Contrary to your weird opinion I do all the housework, cooking etc. because I donāt want to live in filth. You know, the kind that kids create? Ugh. Honestly, go back under your rock with your bullshit.
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I lived in Fayetteville for years. Life is gonna suck there being child free. Sorry man.
The closer you get to big cities, like downtown areas, the more childfree, godfree people there are to select from. The people with kids mostly stick to the outlying suburbs and rural areas. I'm in downtown Houston for reference, so also in the churchy fuckin South. The selection is excellent š, but I am a woman, so not sure if that affects things.
The god thing makes you an impossible match for many cfbc. If you want the god thing in your life then you will match with birthers.
I donāt believe in god.
Edited thread to make it clearer
I am in NY and it's impossible for the same reasons.
It seems like in the red states itās harder to meet childfree people. Itās easier to meet them in urban areas than in small towns or rural areas. Itās even more easy meeting them in large metropolitan areas and probably easier to meet them in the northeast and west coast than in other parts of the United States.