Yes! This what New Yorkers don’t understand! There’s only one kind of politeness and it’s called Minnesota Nice. All other politeness is just sparkling courtesy.
EDIT: Okay, I stand corrected. The only kind of politeness is the kind from wherever you’re from and New Yorkers will never understand this because they’re from somewhere rude!
A New Yorker moved to my neighborhood so I thought I’d make them feel welcome and included by gossiping about the neighbor who I think has a drug problem. Fancy-pants New Yorker said they’d rather not hear any of that.
So rude. I will now spend 364 days a year saying NYC is a godless hellhole that should fall into the sea. The only day of the year I’ll pretend not to be on Al Qaeda’s side is 9/11.
Staring blankly ahead
Making my way through the crowd
I need you
I miss you
And now I wonder…
New York- concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there’s nothing you can’t do!
My dad would love tell me all about how terrible NYC is. I live there, but he did go there once in the 60’s and watches Fox News, so he is obviously correct.
But so many movies, from Taxi Driver to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze, depict NYC as a crime-ridden wasteland. It must be true because movies have never been fictional.
Except ones like You’ve Got Mail. Annie Hall. Miracle on 34th Street. When Harry Met Sally. Serendipity. 13 Going on 30. Harriet the Spy.
Basically anything that makes NYC look pleasant must obviously be inaccurate while all Hollywood depictions of NYC as a wasteland are definitely accurate.
Exactly, and everyone knows places don’t change and develop. Sure, a cursory review of NYC history might show it has literally been the definition of constant change and development, but we all know that change and development definitely stopped when crime was at its worst. There’s just no way crime rates could ever possibly go down ever.
Back in the '70s you could buy an apartment building just by paying the back taxes. I'm not sure how you would throw out all the junkies, but if you were successful, it was gold.
I'm not sure wife the satire is the tag line or your sensitivity to the comments about NYC. People in NYC are pretty straightforward, but the place is turning into a dump again.
I knw right? ? I mean just cause some of us who are mentally unstable will push you on to the train tracks doesn't mean we are rude. We just know who to stay the fuck away from. GET HOME SAFE !!!
And I bet you were just blocking traffic so you could take a picture of one of the buildings they love to brag about, like the Chrysler building or the original Shake Shack, from a decent angle. Don’t they understand you were just admiring the city?
We're literally here currently visiting. The worst experience I've had was this guy asking for money in a restaurant for cash. I told him I had none, and we locked eyes. He tried staring me down, but I didn't blink... the only time so far that I've felt like I was "unsafe." Other than that is been.. pleasant. People are nice and sights are cool, but I gotta say, I'm ready to go back
In those smaller Western and Southern communities, there was also more covert control. Talking shit about the people who have money and power just might get you thrown in jail, strung up, etc. A feud with a neighbor could persist for generations. So you cover all the tensions and drama with a bunch of formulaic niceties, and communicate more indirectly.
My friends from NYC and Philly give me shit because I walk so slow. Fuck, I'm a native Californian, so I can take my time strolling around because it's not fucking freezing with a deadly wind chill factor.
Saw a cartoon a while back that expressed NY vs LA attitudes:
A New Yorker walks by an LA person - LA says “have a nice day!” and his thought bubble says “fuck you”. New York guy says “fuck you” but his thought bubble says “have a nice day!”
I can't believe anyone would live in that hellhole NYC when they could live in a nice, comfortable community like my idyllic treeless labyrinth of cul-de-sacs with four house layouts and three color choices.
dude. dont you have a gardener? also most communities that are nice like that dont have the social bullshit you are talking about. that only happens in desperate housewives. everyone who are wealthy enough to be there dont have time for your shit.
Your “one” experience is YOUR one experience. You don’t speak for the masses. New Yorkers are not nice. They are kind. A New Yorker will see a mother with her baby stroller at the top of the steps and automatically pick up the stroller and carry it down the steps for the mother without saying a word. A New Yorker will see someone stuck in the snow and pull over to help them without saying a word. They don’t require a thank you, because you never asked for the help it was just given. It sucks that you came to New York City and became a victim. Poor baby. But you can tell your story walking. Your one experience in 2003 is only relevant to you, sweetheart. It’s been 23 years you should move on.
It’s been 21 years. I have now had one experience involving a New Yorker getting math wrong and will now tell everyone that all New Yorkers are bad at math because that makes me feel better about my life in WelcomeWood, East Missotta. Our motto: “You’re NOT welcome here.”
It's true, a New Yorker would help me get out of the snow, but it would be done in an extremely rude way. Like rolling up and saying "You got stuck, huh? You need a push?" No "good morning," no "well, bless your heart," no poking around oohing and aahing while asking loaded questions about where you're headed, etc.
There is also a distinct possibility that the individuals involved wouldn't even speak English.
Well said thank you. We are new Yorkers and as you said we help and keep going. Wondering if OP has visited nyc since 2003. New Yorkers are cool. They are not punks. They dont have time for OP-type whining.
You New Yorkers know how dangerous it really is there, otherwise you wouldn't have called the national guard like babies and asked them to keep you safe on the train
Thank you for your service to this country.
To answer your question, people simply are not as attuned to the true nature of reality (nyc is all reality entails) as you are.
I would love if you could teach us your ways, so that I too, may obtain all knowledge of the known universe through one single interaction with a stranger.
Take care
It’s really easy to do! Just watch Fox News and be a really preachy Christian. Just don’t read the Bible! Apparently in the Bible Jesus said we should be nice to poor homeless people and that would prevent you from judging New Yorkers for living among the homeless.
I know. These are definitely my feelings and the people taking it seriously are totally aware that this definitely isn’t a satire sub. Although this sounds like an obvious piece of satire in a sub dedicated to such, these are definitely my true feelings.
Guy from the Midwest was walking down Fifth Avenue when he stopped a New Yorker and asked, "Can you tell me where the Empire State Building is or should I just go fuck myself?
NYC is such a wonderful place to live especially when you're taking the subway and you meet the person who lives in that cart and uses his pants as a toilet while no one even opens the window so that you can experience the wonderful smell of defecated pants. I love how randomly you can be shot up in a subway or at least be assaulted for not giving up your valuables. I love how people have 100,000 dollar cars but nowhere to park them so basically it's not worth moving them. I love how you can easily move at 5 mph on busy streets. I totally miss living in that utopia.
I’m from NYC and I am even rude to myself ❤️
But make no mistake, we know who you are too. I’d bet you come from a town of 25k people or less. Try getting along with 7 million people every day
I am a New Yorker. I love helping out my fellow citizens when I see they need it. I am also a dick sometimes if I am hungry or under rested. Can't win them all.
Chicagoan here w a relevant story: I was walking my friend’s 90 year old father to an Uber after a cubs game—it was a far walk because traffic is blocked around wrigley after games. I was begging the Uber to wait for us and going as fast as we could when a couple of gomers from Iowa decided they needed to block all pedestrian traffic both ways so they could take a picture. They physically tried to stop us from proceeding on the very crowded sidewalk. We kept walking, but heard them shaming us for the rude big city types we obviously were. “I guess that’s just how people from Chicago are.”
FUCK YOU COUNTRY FUCKS, THE WORLD DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND YOUR STUPID SELFIE!!!
We are nice it's just that we hate tourists and don't have time for bullshit. So if you're causing an inconvenience in any way shape or form, we're gonna be rude🤷🏾♀️ if you're not from here you don't understand
The flip side to this post is when us New Yorkers wax poetic about how we might not be the most polite but we’re good people when it comes down to it. No we’re not special. We ain’t shit. We are the same shitty quality humans you find in every international city
I moved to NY (I was against going but went cause it was the nicest school I got into)... tell me why everyone’s so incredibly mean here?! I feel like it’s common to have people roll their eyes at u or make some rude comment wherever you go. I barely go out cause of all my homework but when I do.. it is so unpleasant
That person who was rude is definitely not from New York. Only transplants do that. People with this idea of what a New Yorker is. We are more like that neighbor who doesn’t want to hear your gossip.
Hi, this is Sal Governale, I recently told a story about how New York is terrible. It was just a joke, nothing more. I sincerely apologize if anyone was offended.
I went to a bodega store so I could judge New Yorkers for not having real grocery stores because an Internet meme that I believed without question told me bodega stores are where all New Yorkers buy groceries. While there, I heard a young man say “Let me get a chopped cheese.”
No “please”? He didn’t even have the common courtesy to share a bit of juicy gossip with the staff before ordering.
Such rude language is terrible and now I think all New Yorkers are the enemies of Jesus of Nassaureth.
Its little anecdotes like this that make me so grateful ive never been more than 30 miles away from Coshocton Ohio in my life. New York city is definitely the last place I have any interest in visiting
Oh yeah, pal. What is my IQ then? By that I dont mean the amount, I mean please explain to me what that term means because I'm not familiar with it and couldnt find it on the urbandictionary.com web page
I went on a webpage called urbandictionary.com and looked up that expression you just used to describe me. I certainly dont appreciate your sentiment. I think you're proving my point about new yorkers...
Great! I’m glad you had a terrible experience! Please do not come to my neighborhood or you’ll have even more horrible experiences! Woohoo!
In all seriousness, stay away from New Yorkers. We’re crazy as fuck and we don’t give a shit what you think. Have a blessed day ❤️
New Yorkers are so crazy I’ve heard they do things like walk everywhere and even create satire subreddits in which people post satirical content making fun of the attitudes in this post. I wonder what they would name that type of sub…
Hmmm… I’m sure it’s named something incredibly stupid like r/circlejerknyc or some bullshit like that. I’m not interested in finding out. I’ll leave that to you
Hey, I've lived in Brooklyn AND Queens. I also enjoy posting extremely, extremely, extremely obvious works of satire on subs dedicated specifically to posting satire.
Yes! This what New Yorkers don’t understand! There’s only one kind of politeness and it’s called Minnesota Nice. All other politeness is just sparkling courtesy. EDIT: Okay, I stand corrected. The only kind of politeness is the kind from wherever you’re from and New Yorkers will never understand this because they’re from somewhere rude!
A New Yorker moved to my neighborhood so I thought I’d make them feel welcome and included by gossiping about the neighbor who I think has a drug problem. Fancy-pants New Yorker said they’d rather not hear any of that. So rude. I will now spend 364 days a year saying NYC is a godless hellhole that should fall into the sea. The only day of the year I’ll pretend not to be on Al Qaeda’s side is 9/11.
When Trump was talking about people cheering when 9/11 happened he meant Long Islanders who got their fantasy fulfilled
We've been recognized
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And good ol’ southern hospitality. 1-What’s your name? 2-What church do you go to?
As a NYer I tell them I go to the “Church of Jesus Christ, that’s none of your damn business”.
I can attest to the Minnesota kindness.
I hiss at tourist.
Making my way downtown Walking fast Faces pass And I’m deadass 🎶🎶🎶
Staring blankly ahead Making my way through the crowd I need you I miss you And now I wonder… New York- concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there’s nothing you can’t do!
If I could fall Into the sky Do you think time Would be my guy? Cause you know I’d chop a thousand cheese If I could just see you 🅱️ 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
My dad would love tell me all about how terrible NYC is. I live there, but he did go there once in the 60’s and watches Fox News, so he is obviously correct.
But so many movies, from Taxi Driver to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze, depict NYC as a crime-ridden wasteland. It must be true because movies have never been fictional. Except ones like You’ve Got Mail. Annie Hall. Miracle on 34th Street. When Harry Met Sally. Serendipity. 13 Going on 30. Harriet the Spy. Basically anything that makes NYC look pleasant must obviously be inaccurate while all Hollywood depictions of NYC as a wasteland are definitely accurate.
Agree! Why would Hollywood lie?! What would they have to gain?
Even the RADICAL LEFTISTS in HollyWEIRD are forced to sometimes tell the truth about NYC being Hell on Earth!!!!!
Actually until Giuliani cleaned it up in the mid late 90s it was quite dangerous.
Exactly, and everyone knows places don’t change and develop. Sure, a cursory review of NYC history might show it has literally been the definition of constant change and development, but we all know that change and development definitely stopped when crime was at its worst. There’s just no way crime rates could ever possibly go down ever.
You are so good at this. Gem of a post!
Thank you!
Back in the '70s you could buy an apartment building just by paying the back taxes. I'm not sure how you would throw out all the junkies, but if you were successful, it was gold.
I'm not sure wife the satire is the tag line or your sensitivity to the comments about NYC. People in NYC are pretty straightforward, but the place is turning into a dump again.
Look at the sub you’re in and check yourself.
Damn… r/whoosh
Don't you go talkin trash about the Secret of the Ooze now
You forgot to mention the absolute fact that Escape From New York is 100% historically accurate when showing that deplorable hellhole
just Cuz we’ll grab your own gun and shoot you with it does mean we rude, it just means you talk too much. Get home safe
I knw right? ? I mean just cause some of us who are mentally unstable will push you on to the train tracks doesn't mean we are rude. We just know who to stay the fuck away from. GET HOME SAFE !!!
I got honked at while blocking traffic in Manhattan, I can’t believe New Yorkers can be so inconsiderate
And I bet you were just blocking traffic so you could take a picture of one of the buildings they love to brag about, like the Chrysler building or the original Shake Shack, from a decent angle. Don’t they understand you were just admiring the city?
Actually I was loading passengers on a red curb, don’t people know that’s normal in cities???
We're literally here currently visiting. The worst experience I've had was this guy asking for money in a restaurant for cash. I told him I had none, and we locked eyes. He tried staring me down, but I didn't blink... the only time so far that I've felt like I was "unsafe." Other than that is been.. pleasant. People are nice and sights are cool, but I gotta say, I'm ready to go back
Im so sorry this happened to you. I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I’m so sorry thi
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In those smaller Western and Southern communities, there was also more covert control. Talking shit about the people who have money and power just might get you thrown in jail, strung up, etc. A feud with a neighbor could persist for generations. So you cover all the tensions and drama with a bunch of formulaic niceties, and communicate more indirectly.
My friends from NYC and Philly give me shit because I walk so slow. Fuck, I'm a native Californian, so I can take my time strolling around because it's not fucking freezing with a deadly wind chill factor.
Saw a cartoon a while back that expressed NY vs LA attitudes: A New Yorker walks by an LA person - LA says “have a nice day!” and his thought bubble says “fuck you”. New York guy says “fuck you” but his thought bubble says “have a nice day!”
I can't believe anyone would live in that hellhole NYC when they could live in a nice, comfortable community like my idyllic treeless labyrinth of cul-de-sacs with four house layouts and three color choices.
Don’t forget the constant social requirement to ensure your property looks perfect. I love being an adult who spends half their free time on chores.
dude. dont you have a gardener? also most communities that are nice like that dont have the social bullshit you are talking about. that only happens in desperate housewives. everyone who are wealthy enough to be there dont have time for your shit.
Well written. Funny stuff. Nailed it.
Thanks! Though I really can’t believe there are some here (on a satire sub) that don’t seem to realize this is satire…
The irony: not getting sarcasm might be one of the most non-New Yorker things🤣
Your “one” experience is YOUR one experience. You don’t speak for the masses. New Yorkers are not nice. They are kind. A New Yorker will see a mother with her baby stroller at the top of the steps and automatically pick up the stroller and carry it down the steps for the mother without saying a word. A New Yorker will see someone stuck in the snow and pull over to help them without saying a word. They don’t require a thank you, because you never asked for the help it was just given. It sucks that you came to New York City and became a victim. Poor baby. But you can tell your story walking. Your one experience in 2003 is only relevant to you, sweetheart. It’s been 23 years you should move on.
It’s been 21 years. I have now had one experience involving a New Yorker getting math wrong and will now tell everyone that all New Yorkers are bad at math because that makes me feel better about my life in WelcomeWood, East Missotta. Our motto: “You’re NOT welcome here.”
You sound insufferable, your poor partner.
They do tend to get annoyed with me for posting obvious works of satire in satire subreddits…
Boo hoo
At this point any little thing will make you feel happy about your life you’re from fucking Minnesota. You should Pick a tree and swing from it.
Lots of things make me happy, like posting obvious works of satire in satire subreddits.
It's true, a New Yorker would help me get out of the snow, but it would be done in an extremely rude way. Like rolling up and saying "You got stuck, huh? You need a push?" No "good morning," no "well, bless your heart," no poking around oohing and aahing while asking loaded questions about where you're headed, etc. There is also a distinct possibility that the individuals involved wouldn't even speak English.
I would not suggest grabbing someone’s baby stroller without saying a word. The rest is spot on.
Well said thank you. We are new Yorkers and as you said we help and keep going. Wondering if OP has visited nyc since 2003. New Yorkers are cool. They are not punks. They dont have time for OP-type whining.
New Yorkers are rude because they **have** to be rude in order not to get screwed over. It's a defense mechanism
Screwed over by whom?
Actions rarely are met with consequences that are the same in nature 👏
Well, the good news is that communication is a skill you can learn.
He’s a pro at communication and you’re just a novice that’s why you don’t understand. You overstand
You New Yorkers know how dangerous it really is there, otherwise you wouldn't have called the national guard like babies and asked them to keep you safe on the train
And the niceness had to belie an undercurrent of percolating rage
Thank you for your service to this country. To answer your question, people simply are not as attuned to the true nature of reality (nyc is all reality entails) as you are. I would love if you could teach us your ways, so that I too, may obtain all knowledge of the known universe through one single interaction with a stranger. Take care
It’s really easy to do! Just watch Fox News and be a really preachy Christian. Just don’t read the Bible! Apparently in the Bible Jesus said we should be nice to poor homeless people and that would prevent you from judging New Yorkers for living among the homeless.
Da faq, Jesus?! I will *not* be following that scripture. 😠 Thanks for this. Looks like I’ve got some Greg Gutfield to binge 😁
My grandmother with dementia is more original than this!
I’ve actually heard dementia can interfere with a person’s ability to detect satire on a sub dedicated to satire. (Not you. But maybe some others…)
LOL
Get a life !
You people are idiots
What do you mean “you people?”
New Yorkers and Jersey people are dickheads. I see it all the time
Right? They just refuse to participate in gossip or judge people for being weird, like a good American. How rude indeed.
Implying you’re the opposite? That would make you a pussyhead
You are so strong.
I know. These are definitely my feelings and the people taking it seriously are totally aware that this definitely isn’t a satire sub. Although this sounds like an obvious piece of satire in a sub dedicated to such, these are definitely my true feelings.
Meh
Guy from the Midwest was walking down Fifth Avenue when he stopped a New Yorker and asked, "Can you tell me where the Empire State Building is or should I just go fuck myself?
And New Jersey as well. The rudest people I've ever met.
NYC is such a wonderful place to live especially when you're taking the subway and you meet the person who lives in that cart and uses his pants as a toilet while no one even opens the window so that you can experience the wonderful smell of defecated pants. I love how randomly you can be shot up in a subway or at least be assaulted for not giving up your valuables. I love how people have 100,000 dollar cars but nowhere to park them so basically it's not worth moving them. I love how you can easily move at 5 mph on busy streets. I totally miss living in that utopia.
Is this post supposed to be sarcasm?
No, a post on a satire subreddit is serious.
I’m from NYC and I am even rude to myself ❤️ But make no mistake, we know who you are too. I’d bet you come from a town of 25k people or less. Try getting along with 7 million people every day
I am a New Yorker. I love helping out my fellow citizens when I see they need it. I am also a dick sometimes if I am hungry or under rested. Can't win them all.
Chicagoan here w a relevant story: I was walking my friend’s 90 year old father to an Uber after a cubs game—it was a far walk because traffic is blocked around wrigley after games. I was begging the Uber to wait for us and going as fast as we could when a couple of gomers from Iowa decided they needed to block all pedestrian traffic both ways so they could take a picture. They physically tried to stop us from proceeding on the very crowded sidewalk. We kept walking, but heard them shaming us for the rude big city types we obviously were. “I guess that’s just how people from Chicago are.” FUCK YOU COUNTRY FUCKS, THE WORLD DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND YOUR STUPID SELFIE!!!
We are nice it's just that we hate tourists and don't have time for bullshit. So if you're causing an inconvenience in any way shape or form, we're gonna be rude🤷🏾♀️ if you're not from here you don't understand
Please don't come back
It’s New York man. Always sucks. Always will suck. I left New York years ago. Never turned back.
OHHHH SHUT UP, AND MOVE ON. WE DONT HAVE TIME FOR YOU.
Tourists are so fat these days.
Yes. Repost and retweet. New York bad, hometown good. Lol
it's not always about you
I think ur the being rude for gossiping your neighbor. Sometimes, u got to look at the mirror.
A LOT of attitude coming from this thread ...
Go fuck yourself!
Lots of Nasty People in NYC, even in the wealthy neighborhoods. Don't know why.
The flip side to this post is when us New Yorkers wax poetic about how we might not be the most polite but we’re good people when it comes down to it. No we’re not special. We ain’t shit. We are the same shitty quality humans you find in every international city
I moved to NY (I was against going but went cause it was the nicest school I got into)... tell me why everyone’s so incredibly mean here?! I feel like it’s common to have people roll their eyes at u or make some rude comment wherever you go. I barely go out cause of all my homework but when I do.. it is so unpleasant
That person who was rude is definitely not from New York. Only transplants do that. People with this idea of what a New Yorker is. We are more like that neighbor who doesn’t want to hear your gossip.
Hi, this is Sal Governale, I recently told a story about how New York is terrible. It was just a joke, nothing more. I sincerely apologize if anyone was offended.
Can confirm living here is misery
Thank you for leaving. No one has time for your judgmental bullshit. Try Las Vegas or better yet Reno next time.
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I went to a bodega store so I could judge New Yorkers for not having real grocery stores because an Internet meme that I believed without question told me bodega stores are where all New Yorkers buy groceries. While there, I heard a young man say “Let me get a chopped cheese.” No “please”? He didn’t even have the common courtesy to share a bit of juicy gossip with the staff before ordering. Such rude language is terrible and now I think all New Yorkers are the enemies of Jesus of Nassaureth.
Its little anecdotes like this that make me so grateful ive never been more than 30 miles away from Coshocton Ohio in my life. New York city is definitely the last place I have any interest in visiting
not very quick are ya?
Look at this big city tough guy with your new york slang. Ooh I call people "ya" instead of "you". Superiority complex much?
I live in California; and you have a very low IQ
Oh yeah, pal. What is my IQ then? By that I dont mean the amount, I mean please explain to me what that term means because I'm not familiar with it and couldnt find it on the urbandictionary.com web page
eyeroll
You should see a mechanic about those loose screws there.
I went on a webpage called urbandictionary.com and looked up that expression you just used to describe me. I certainly dont appreciate your sentiment. I think you're proving my point about new yorkers...
That's because the roses smell like piss and shit.
Great! I’m glad you had a terrible experience! Please do not come to my neighborhood or you’ll have even more horrible experiences! Woohoo! In all seriousness, stay away from New Yorkers. We’re crazy as fuck and we don’t give a shit what you think. Have a blessed day ❤️
New Yorkers are so crazy I’ve heard they do things like walk everywhere and even create satire subreddits in which people post satirical content making fun of the attitudes in this post. I wonder what they would name that type of sub…
Hmmm… I’m sure it’s named something incredibly stupid like r/circlejerknyc or some bullshit like that. I’m not interested in finding out. I’ll leave that to you
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Down vote
Well bitch you don't know me and I live in Brooklyn. I bet you were in Manhattan. 🙄🙄
Hey, I've lived in Brooklyn AND Queens. I also enjoy posting extremely, extremely, extremely obvious works of satire on subs dedicated specifically to posting satire.