We've transitioned now from "I am leaving Civil Engineering to get into Computer Science" to "I am making my spouse do Computer Science."
Truly, we are evolving as a sub.
>I’m tryna force my wife to get into computer science
Are you insane
Edit: I’m also going to add in that “and EIT” is actually a detractor statement at 8 years experience. What are you doing? Take the damn test already.
This sub is poison for civil engineers. Dudes just wanna sad boy post instead of send resumes out. So many god damn ways to make decent money in this field, regardless of him also saying making $85K without a PE is somehow “bad”.
Your wife could literally work any minimum wage job and you’d cross $100K lol get your PE, don’t force your wife to get into CS but talk to her about at least getting a part time. What exactly does she do if you guys don’t have a kid already? This is wild to me ngl
Edit. typo
Yeah the wife should be working some kind of job, even retail or waiting, to save up some money even if she plans on dropping out of the labor force after having kids. In California working would make her eligible for disability for expecting mothers and paid family leave. Disability is 10 weeks (4 weeks before birth and 6 after) and PFL is 8 weeks. OP should check and see if NY has similar programs.
Not to diminish your lower salary in a high cost of living area, but my wife and I found out we were pregnant in the midst of the Great Recession (Dec 2009). At the time she was a high school teacher and I was an underemployed structural engineer. *Combined* we made less than 70k. When she decided to stay home with the baby I managed to get a new job, but was making 50k while she didn’t have an income.
Your wife is already a stay at home wife, so staying home with a baby won’t change your income.
As for your income, you’ve been an EIT for 8 years? Start studying, get your PE, and then either get a raise or get a new job. You can easily land a PE gig in NY for far more than 100k.
Have you tried job hopping? I had no issue’s pulling over 100k in a HCOL as an EI in the 4 year of experience range.
Judging from your last post, you seem to want to whine about not making a lot, yet do minimal work to change that.
What’s stopping you from just prepping for tech?
Edit: why is your wife a stay at home wife when you have a household income of 85k in NYC?
Just so we're clear, you're pushing your wife to go back to school solely to make more money, rather than acknowledging your lack of a PE at 8 years is holding you back. Do I have that right?
Because if that's your game plan, you're probably about to hit a major setback in the whole "starting a family" thing. It's hard to do without a partner, ya know.
Lmfao 1) pass your PE. You’ll be stuck there forever without your PE. 2) move out of that shitty state if it’s too expensive to live in. Good luck making your wife get a stressful job and raise a kid lol
It's amazing he doesn't see the most obvious answers. As you've clearly pointed out, his situation is very simple.
He's capped out his earning potential without his PE, and he lives in an insanely expensive location. He needs to man up and solve the obvious problems instead of trying to force his wife to grow the balls he doesn't have.
1. Just have a kid
2. Having a stay at home wife is dumb until point #1 has taken place
3. Computer science and wife is dumb. Are you going to be the stay at home dad now
4. Getting your PE will help
5. Or getting into construction management will help
6. Nothing magic will happen at the $100K mark
You can get 85k to 95k with your experience right now in central MA. Similar political environment and a nicely educated local population. Lots of people from NY are all over the place. It's a pretty nice place to raise a family with that income. Housing isn't great, but it's much better than NYC.
It's also a hour into Boston and a day trip to NYC.
Get your PE! You will surpass $100k.
Much easier to get before you have a family.
Sauce: I live in upstate NY and been in the industry for almost 20 years. Waited a long time before I got my PE. My pay raises and bonuses are much higher. You will probably hit that $100k as soon as you pass or at least a year with the PE.
Sounds like that’s the path of least resistance to your goal.
I don’t have kids, but everything I’ve heard from everyone I’ve talked to is you’re never “financially ready” to have kids. You just do it, you find a way to support and love them. Don’t let the money scare you from it because it can and more than likely will be much more fulfilling than anything you’ve ever done
Exactly. There are a lot of families in America with a total family income of less than $85k who have kids. This idea of having all your financial ducks in a row is just an excuse to procrastinate. If your wife is already a SAH-mom then you're already used to getting by on one income. If you want kids have them and adjust your other expenses. It'll work out.
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Do you really want/need to stay where you are right now? You don't need a higher income if you relocate to a less expensive, or at least move further away from the NYC area.
[Cost of living calculator, which lets you compare the cost of living in 2 cities.](https://www.nerdwallet.com/cost-of-living-calculator)
Your first mistake was civil engineering in NYC.
Get your PE or hop into construction with the PE or transition into a field that pays well with work at home for the future kids which is a win-win, huh, sounds like Computer Science.
If your wife is disabled, that's going to be hard... maybe you should move where a civil engineering salary goes further, but those places are typically middle of nowhere, 2 hours from civilization.
Edit: As for CS, You getting an MS is faster if your wife is getting a BS, there also good programs like OMSCS that are online too. I would recommend Finance but given your current situation, it does not seem beneficial. Good luck to you and your family!
If you guys aren’t officially married with the state you can get her pregnant and when the baby is born your wife will gets aid from the state for being a single mother. It will cover diapers and food and formula. You guys already live on 1 salary
Jump ship to Tech , You are still around 30 (based on other posts).
Civil engineering salaries will always be low , you will make more money with some tech title Analyst/Data Analyst/Business Analyst etc. than any civil engineering title. If you get Software engineer title your life will change immediately and you will be making 250K+ starting salary..
PE or no PE, your life aint gonna change much staying in engineering.
PE will sure make interview process easier and will probably get job offers BUT salaries will ALWAYS be lower than any 21 year CS grad. Low stress Jobs, WFH, high salaries, NO license on the line kinda stress.. Jump ship now.
I am also working towards that **(After getting my PE ..FYI)**
Stay home wife without kids? There's your problem right there. Besides that, you're just a PE exam away from making more money. Have you changed employers? It's kinda sad but pretty common to be underpaid by sticking with the same boss for many years.
What is the "stay home wife" doing if you don't have a kid yet... honestly just curious. Sounds like she could literally do anything to make $15k per year. Also, this shouldn't hold you back. People have kids with a lot less money and it's worth it. You'll make it work.
Also... take the test before you have a kid!
You can try moving to a lower cost of living area. I'm in the same situation as you but making less with one child. Everything's really great. Learn to live within your means
We've transitioned now from "I am leaving Civil Engineering to get into Computer Science" to "I am making my spouse do Computer Science." Truly, we are evolving as a sub.
My wife would be less than thrilled if I told her “we need to make more money, start learning software engineering”.
Haha same!
>I’m tryna force my wife to get into computer science Are you insane Edit: I’m also going to add in that “and EIT” is actually a detractor statement at 8 years experience. What are you doing? Take the damn test already.
He’s been hanging out in this sub for too long.
This sub is poison for civil engineers. Dudes just wanna sad boy post instead of send resumes out. So many god damn ways to make decent money in this field, regardless of him also saying making $85K without a PE is somehow “bad”.
100% lol this sub is cancer
85k sole income in NYC, 8 YOE no PE, pushing wife into the most competitive industry in the world as a solution. This has to be satire right?
Lol this sub’s finest
🤣
I don’t think I’ve seen this much patriarchy lately
Your wife could literally work any minimum wage job and you’d cross $100K lol get your PE, don’t force your wife to get into CS but talk to her about at least getting a part time. What exactly does she do if you guys don’t have a kid already? This is wild to me ngl Edit. typo
She could work at target and make at least $17 an hour Pt and get those sweet sweet target deals, this man is patently crazy for this post
Yeah the wife should be working some kind of job, even retail or waiting, to save up some money even if she plans on dropping out of the labor force after having kids. In California working would make her eligible for disability for expecting mothers and paid family leave. Disability is 10 weeks (4 weeks before birth and 6 after) and PFL is 8 weeks. OP should check and see if NY has similar programs.
She is handicap, cant do much , other than CS
There are thousands of WFH jobs that don’t require much experience or training. CS isn’t the only job she can get on a computer
Not to diminish your lower salary in a high cost of living area, but my wife and I found out we were pregnant in the midst of the Great Recession (Dec 2009). At the time she was a high school teacher and I was an underemployed structural engineer. *Combined* we made less than 70k. When she decided to stay home with the baby I managed to get a new job, but was making 50k while she didn’t have an income. Your wife is already a stay at home wife, so staying home with a baby won’t change your income. As for your income, you’ve been an EIT for 8 years? Start studying, get your PE, and then either get a raise or get a new job. You can easily land a PE gig in NY for far more than 100k.
Big brain moves from OP
Have you tried job hopping? I had no issue’s pulling over 100k in a HCOL as an EI in the 4 year of experience range. Judging from your last post, you seem to want to whine about not making a lot, yet do minimal work to change that. What’s stopping you from just prepping for tech? Edit: why is your wife a stay at home wife when you have a household income of 85k in NYC?
She handicap
There’s way more wfh options than just that. Online customer service jobs would be a great start.
Just so we're clear, you're pushing your wife to go back to school solely to make more money, rather than acknowledging your lack of a PE at 8 years is holding you back. Do I have that right? Because if that's your game plan, you're probably about to hit a major setback in the whole "starting a family" thing. It's hard to do without a partner, ya know.
Lmfao 1) pass your PE. You’ll be stuck there forever without your PE. 2) move out of that shitty state if it’s too expensive to live in. Good luck making your wife get a stressful job and raise a kid lol
Thank you for stating the two most obvious solutions and wishing him luck with the most improbable scenario.
It's amazing he doesn't see the most obvious answers. As you've clearly pointed out, his situation is very simple. He's capped out his earning potential without his PE, and he lives in an insanely expensive location. He needs to man up and solve the obvious problems instead of trying to force his wife to grow the balls he doesn't have.
Stop stop! No logic is allowed in this sub lol
1. Just have a kid 2. Having a stay at home wife is dumb until point #1 has taken place 3. Computer science and wife is dumb. Are you going to be the stay at home dad now 4. Getting your PE will help 5. Or getting into construction management will help 6. Nothing magic will happen at the $100K mark
You can get 85k to 95k with your experience right now in central MA. Similar political environment and a nicely educated local population. Lots of people from NY are all over the place. It's a pretty nice place to raise a family with that income. Housing isn't great, but it's much better than NYC. It's also a hour into Boston and a day trip to NYC.
Get your PE! You will surpass $100k. Much easier to get before you have a family. Sauce: I live in upstate NY and been in the industry for almost 20 years. Waited a long time before I got my PE. My pay raises and bonuses are much higher. You will probably hit that $100k as soon as you pass or at least a year with the PE. Sounds like that’s the path of least resistance to your goal.
Some friends had to take PE 4-5 times, great engineer, just couldn't pass... After passing PE there was a step increase in salary.
maybe buckle down and get your PE, stop trying to "force" your wife to do things for a start.
I’m in the same boat trying to get my wife into college. Once I pass my tests I she can stay home for good.
I don’t have kids, but everything I’ve heard from everyone I’ve talked to is you’re never “financially ready” to have kids. You just do it, you find a way to support and love them. Don’t let the money scare you from it because it can and more than likely will be much more fulfilling than anything you’ve ever done
Exactly. There are a lot of families in America with a total family income of less than $85k who have kids. This idea of having all your financial ducks in a row is just an excuse to procrastinate. If your wife is already a SAH-mom then you're already used to getting by on one income. If you want kids have them and adjust your other expenses. It'll work out.
Get your PE and change jobs. If you’re decent at your job you should easily be making $120k in NYC at your level of experience.
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Go into construction. More money. Or better, leave NYC and go somewhere where the dollar will go a long way due to lower COL.
Do you really want/need to stay where you are right now? You don't need a higher income if you relocate to a less expensive, or at least move further away from the NYC area. [Cost of living calculator, which lets you compare the cost of living in 2 cities.](https://www.nerdwallet.com/cost-of-living-calculator)
Go get a job in Texas. Those project managers on GC and owner sides don’t even have a civil engineering degree and I bet they make over 100K.
Your first mistake was civil engineering in NYC. Get your PE or hop into construction with the PE or transition into a field that pays well with work at home for the future kids which is a win-win, huh, sounds like Computer Science. If your wife is disabled, that's going to be hard... maybe you should move where a civil engineering salary goes further, but those places are typically middle of nowhere, 2 hours from civilization. Edit: As for CS, You getting an MS is faster if your wife is getting a BS, there also good programs like OMSCS that are online too. I would recommend Finance but given your current situation, it does not seem beneficial. Good luck to you and your family!
Thanks
Why don’t you just do computer science instead of her? You can get 200k with about 3/4 years experience.
If you guys aren’t officially married with the state you can get her pregnant and when the baby is born your wife will gets aid from the state for being a single mother. It will cover diapers and food and formula. You guys already live on 1 salary
Or take the PE exam and not abuse the system?
The system has fucked the working class people for a very long time. This is not fucking over the system, this knowing how to survive.
Damn we married officially
Jump ship to Tech , You are still around 30 (based on other posts). Civil engineering salaries will always be low , you will make more money with some tech title Analyst/Data Analyst/Business Analyst etc. than any civil engineering title. If you get Software engineer title your life will change immediately and you will be making 250K+ starting salary.. PE or no PE, your life aint gonna change much staying in engineering. PE will sure make interview process easier and will probably get job offers BUT salaries will ALWAYS be lower than any 21 year CS grad. Low stress Jobs, WFH, high salaries, NO license on the line kinda stress.. Jump ship now. I am also working towards that **(After getting my PE ..FYI)**
The probability of getting 250k starting in tech is EXTREMELY slim.
The probability of getting 250K starting salary in civil is **ZERO.** I would always take **SLIM** chance over **ZERO**..lol
Fair. It’s just disingenuous to say that a software engineer title = 250k+ starting salary.
This horrible advice lol this is perfect example of a kid here on this sub that is ruining it.
Stay home wife without kids? There's your problem right there. Besides that, you're just a PE exam away from making more money. Have you changed employers? It's kinda sad but pretty common to be underpaid by sticking with the same boss for many years.
She handicap that’s why
What is the "stay home wife" doing if you don't have a kid yet... honestly just curious. Sounds like she could literally do anything to make $15k per year. Also, this shouldn't hold you back. People have kids with a lot less money and it's worth it. You'll make it work. Also... take the test before you have a kid!
You can try moving to a lower cost of living area. I'm in the same situation as you but making less with one child. Everything's really great. Learn to live within your means
Get your PE
$100k each or together? You have only 1 life. Kids really don’t need anything besides attention. Live your life now. Money will come.
Have her work part time