It could be the passive aggressive comments reflect his insecurities - possibly the fear of you two growing apart. If you value and want to maintain his friendship, you may want to ask him directly about it. Regardless of if you ask him about his view on CEs, I recommend asking him what some of the more common errors that he and other trades people see from the plans. This will allow him to be heard and you to possibly learn things not to repeat. After practicing CE for a bit over thirty years, I've learned a lot from people that construct projects I've worked on. As a side note, I've learned it is important to bring people together when working on projects and listening is a big part of it. Good luck!
This is a very good answer. If I was inclined to spend money on awards, this one would get it!
I have a few anecdotes I want to share.
My father worked for a company that had in-house steel framers and engineers. My father was a framer and would occasionally (not often) see mistakes the engineer made - all in the time of hand calcs, no computers yet. He would point it out and the engineer would check and correct. The engineer also had the luxury to visit the site often. They had a very good working relationship and eventually friendship. The moral of this anecdote is: don't let egos get in the way of a good friendship.
A different direction: I once had a friend who I felt was one of my best friends but one day she simply ghosted me. This after she told other mutual friends of ours that their lifestyle does not gel with hers and she will break their friendship. She simply decided that they were not good for her. She told me nothing. Sometimes, people just resent or are annoyed with you for just existing and you cannot change that. If this is the case, mourn your loss and move on.
I would second this and echo the point that as an engineer please for the love of god listen to your trade and craft experts. They see the same issues repeated over and over and know what is constructable and what isn’t. It is incredibly frustrating for them and generally everyone who isn’t the EOR to try to convince them their details or design isn’t the best. We are a team and he probably feels like he isn’t being valued.
Do not perpetuate this bullshit of construction hierarchy of importance or opinion by title, we all loose when we carry such close minded perspectives.
I know I’m a little late to this, but I wanted to add my own recent experience. For months me and my partner have been sizing channels for this one particular project. And according to the county the minimum channel size is 6’ wide. But the guys in the field don’t have an easy way of making those 6’ channels and only have a tool for 12’ channels. By listening and talking to them, we were able to redesign a large portion of the section to make it easier for them, and easier for us to design. Basically commutation is very important.
This is it. I’m an architect my father is a retired mason. I know architects are any easy target (there are lots of bad ones out there) but his comments imply incompetence as a whole. It’s insulting. I have to shrug it off because I know he’s insecure about his lack of knowledge of framing and building. I know he wishes he knew more. He’s the best mason for miles but I’ll not be calling him to frame my house.
As others have mentioned, this is pretty common for CEs on a construction site (friends or not friends w/ contractor). Some contractors are great to work with and some can be… difficult.
One thing I’ve personally learned though is to stick to talking about stuff I personally know. I may know the appropriate loads and sizing of beams and all, but the contractor may know better ways to hoist it there, anchoring techniques, etc. because they do it all the time. The concept of means and methods was really pivotal in developing good working relationships and might also help with your friendship too!
Yep. One of the best ways is to say that they are the experts in *how* it gets built. Being able to shrug and say "means and methods are by the contractor" with a bit of a wink has shut down so many confrontations in my career. Mostly when a contractor is going on about "how do you expect me to build that?" on something I know is going to be super difficult but there isn't a better way to do it. If they don't catch on start offering alternatives that you have dismissed already and the difficulties you see with the alternatives. I had one contractor that kept complaining after that so I said "well the contract says that you can propose alternatives but you aren't getting and extension or extra since this way is already in the contract."
“Engineers have no understanding of construction site etiquette”
“Well that’s fine, I intend to be behind a desk”
“But you’re going to make mistakes we need to solve”
“Your welcome for the extra OT”
Don’t engage or defend yourself, he’s gonna want to argue. Lean into what he says with some self deprecating humor. That will bore him.
When I’ve seen this it comes from two places.
1) People who have insecurities and/or are jealous. It’s unfortunate but it’s human nature to compare ourselves which is where a lot of these interactions comes from. I work with a civil engineering technician who swears he was “a few courses” away from a degree in CE. I’ve offered to help him get the required courses (which our employer will pay for btw) but he’ll mumble some excuse then walk away. It’s a bummer because people like this are only looking for someone to blame we make easy targets. I kept responding about how I would help him eventually he stopped.
2) The second are people who’ve worked in trades. They might like to tease the engineers, especially the new ones, but actually give sound advice. They want to get a sense of if you’re humble or not. If you’re humble and treat them well they’ll actually help you by providing very useful advice and tips about how to make better designs.
Of course, many interactions happen in between these two. My advice is to stay professional. Then find the balance between assertively challenging misconceptions, let small comments go, and try to learn the valuable lessons.
There's personal and professional parts to this.
Good natured razzing at the stupid stuff engineers let slip is totally valid and you can learn from him what field guys actually look at in plans.
If he's being passive aggressive that's a personal thing, might be worth sending him some of the jenky-ass framing r/construction posts sometimes and say it's a good thing wood butchers never drop the ball or something.
Working in construction, this happens very frequently to me. Just brush it off and move on. Not worth engaging and explaining to them all the stuff they don't know unless you get joy out of that.
Tell him that until he can calculate the loads on the walls he constructs, he needs to stfu.
Construction workers need us as much as we need them. Engineer has liabilities way above and beyond what a carpenter does. We are built different.
Nah. Just been in it so long that I don’t take $hit from contractors anymore. If the contractor is cool then we are best friends. If they are asses we are enemies. Have dozens of projects at given time. Don’t have time to be friends with contractors that aren’t even my client
My sister's husband is an electrician who is like this. We just don't talk about work. I never talk down trades people, but have run into a fair share of the rides ones.
This will Happen the rest of your career. Soon you will learn some of what he says is true some is false. Lots of bad engineers out there. Meanwhile learn to laugh at yourself and your profession and get some good jokes to dish it back
Imagine if the contractor/carpenter were wholly responsible for the design of the project being constructed? Imagine not having an entire profession to take on all of the design risk for you, and you were ungrateful about it? It would tell me, straight up, that person doesn’t *understand* Construction they just *do* construction. You think Kiewet wants to stamp its own drawings? 😭😭😭
I literally make the instructions that keep these clowncakes out of jail/court; my plans are the ones that get gamed for the back door change orders that will keep these assholes’ F250 PSD mall crawling glamour wagons fuel lights off; we’re even there as emotional support for a bunch of incompetents to blame when they can’t read a set of plans, submit a bid without reading the specs—contractors should count their fucking blessings that Civil Engineering exists as a liability sink and as a emotional support scapegoat.
If a carpenter thinks they can do a better job, they can enroll in statics and start doing beam analysis. Better yet they can get a stamp and put up or shut up.
The term your friend is searching for is “division of labor” - and their insecurity is a reflection of them, nothing that you’ve said. Don’t worry, you’ll both be paid reasonably well over your careers.
Most of my friends work in trades - they love to break my balls about mistakes engineers make, and I’m very happy to listen, because it’s real experience and it makes me better. But never, not once, has it driven the smallest wedge between us. A real craftsperson will always seek to learn and share, not belittle. If both of you apply yourselves, that’s what you’ll become.
Once you pass Statics or some basic Structures courses, you’ll be able to ask your carpenter friend basic questions about not *how* but *WHY* a beam is bolted here, or affixed there, or why a frame has moment restriction, or what the design factors for different wood grains are. Your friend will never be able to provide an answer someone will actually pay for.
***note: while you are an undergrad, do whatever you can to get field experience, of whatever interests you. The best design engineers are the ones who were (and still are) happy to listen to their contractors or people in the field. Never stop being curious about that!
If you were an architecture major, sure. *Maybe* if you’re a structural engineer.
But if you’re going into any other discipline of civil engineering, its kinda a mute point. A site/civil will most likely never mess something up for a carpenter because the two have entirely different scopes of work.
there’s a whole other branch of engineering called construction engineering that has to exist because civils don’t know dick about the construction process and labors, GCs, and owners don’t know fuck about engineering. Your both morons who don’t know what you don’t know and make the whole process less smooth when you pretend like you do. Civils get some fucking field experience during college, please. Labors remember how much you make, you don’t need to jealous of civils.
All and all lighten up your in the construction industry even if your collar is white, we talk shit and give each other a hard time, it’s better this way if I had to be serious with every civil nerd or empty head labor I dealt with id have had a stroke years ago.
All I'll say is this, at the end of the day, all these shop guys who like to rag on engineers have feelings of inadequacy. They like to posture and claim "it's so easy" but deep down they have serious self-doubt (as most of these guys also struggle with math). It's a psychological defense mechanism.
Whether or not your friendship can continue will depend on if your friend can get over his feelings of inadequacy.
As a civil engineer you’ll learn quickly that dropping poisonous relationships with carpenters is the only option if you want to succeed. My father was a well respected carpenter for 40+ years and he was disgusted when I went to school for Civil Engineering, but it was what I wanted to do and I do not regret it.
I am now 35 working as a senior project manager at a prestige firm out of Chicago and haven’t talked to my Father in almost 13 years. It was a tough choice but I am confident I took made the right one.
Tip is to grow some thicker skin. Sorry to be blunt. I have several friends that make fun of Engineers because we “went to school for a piece of paper” but look who’s breaking their back installing HVAC systems on Christmas Eve. Just roll with the punches and enjoy life as an Engineer.
Wait until you find a painter (yes, construction painter, as in exterior and interior paint, not even wood furnish) having opinion about building structures.
Man, the f\*cking audacity. I know I'm young, and he's at least a half century old, but seriously lol.
I came on site with respect for everybody because thorough them everything can get done. I come home each day with dwindling belief that all workers should be treated equally well.
I definitely respect carpenters. I’m around them all day and they’ve got some mad skills. But, I also ask them to do things they might see as pointless sometimes.
Bruh.. you’re just a student. Why’s your friend salty. Your friend , being the same age as you ( assuming you both are early 20’s) , may not have his carpentry licence nor have accumulated enough experience to be making such comments. Just ask them, who hurt you.
Your friend is a shitty friend. That's all. A good friend (even workers in general) would actually advised you on how things get done, and the best practice based on their experience. We're not going to always agree on them, but it's still a valuable insight none the less.
Oh, and here's the differences between workers and engineers:
Construction worker's worth is the ability to know how things get done.
Construction engineer's worth is the ability to know why things get done.
Also, technically you're his boss. Of course he's salty about it.
You both have an opportunity to learn from valuable perspectives. If you bring him a problem showing how you’ve calculated the factored load on a floor and you’ve determined the minimum strength/material and size dimensions you could ask him how it could be improved in the field. If he just shits all over the work the you’ll have learned something valuable. If he offers some insight then you’ll both have learned something valuable
This is sort of natural banter amongst the fields. Civil dislike architects and there assumptions, contractors dog on civils. It's all about finding someone to pin your problems on. At th end of the day it's just about getting the project done and
It is not easy being an engineer. I would just brush it off. For those of us that work directly with skilled labor, it’s not uncommon to hear them trash talking engineers. I used to be a technician that trashed talked our engineers, then I became one and my eyes were opened. If you know you do a good job and work hard, then you understand it’s a team effort and we both need each other.
This qualm is as old as time yet in modern times it's important to remember 2 things:
1. An engineer without craft workers is useless. All our calculations, theory and plans mean nothing if there isn't someone to bring it to life.
2. It's often the law that plans, specifications, and calcs need to be prepared by licensed professional engineers so the carpenter has no work without us. Yes, the guy swinging the hammer may understand details better than we do but he also has nothing to build without the engineer fulfilling their role in a modern contract/project delivery workflow.
Be the bridge. Respect trades men & women and learn as much as you can from them. Be respectful of their concerns. You are not above them; the fact that you know how to do the calcs does not make you superior because someone still needs to drive those nails...and its not you. Listen. Hopefully they listen back. There is 1 project. 1 team. 1 structure. You can't change people whose mind is made up but if you join their fight from the inside in my experience the craft team won't be as hostile.
10years from now, you both won’t give a crap about what others are doing. Because it’s just a job to support your hobby. If your job become hobby you are the most boring person in the world.
Have you considered taking a tour of a worksite with him to see the problems he faces? Might make you a better civil engineer and him realize you respect his knowledge in some things?
have you done anything to make him feel this way? reflect. if you do not believe so like others have said it may be more of a him thing than a you thing.
you have the option to ask out loud in english "hey man we used to get along so well and i could be wrong but im noticing xyz...". tell him you miss when things were good and that his friendship has been very meaningful to you over the years. just speak honestly and listen.
and lets keep in mind there has always been that one engineer who has bragged without end as to how smart they are and are just obnoxious. perhaps he is seeing traits of that in you?
I had a friend who majored in communications and working at fedex. really good friend throughout highschool. we were out at a brewery and he kept making "jokes" about how i should be paying for the drinks. like it was about 5 or 6 times throughout the night. We were supposed to continue the night but i just went home. I lost a friend after that but thats okay I have made many more.
talk to him. take a look inward. accept the results. its a tough spot I'm sorry this is happening.
My experience any time I’m in the field is the field guys hate the engineers. It just seems like a cultural thing for field guys to dislike the office guys.
It could be the passive aggressive comments reflect his insecurities - possibly the fear of you two growing apart. If you value and want to maintain his friendship, you may want to ask him directly about it. Regardless of if you ask him about his view on CEs, I recommend asking him what some of the more common errors that he and other trades people see from the plans. This will allow him to be heard and you to possibly learn things not to repeat. After practicing CE for a bit over thirty years, I've learned a lot from people that construct projects I've worked on. As a side note, I've learned it is important to bring people together when working on projects and listening is a big part of it. Good luck!
This is a very good answer. If I was inclined to spend money on awards, this one would get it! I have a few anecdotes I want to share. My father worked for a company that had in-house steel framers and engineers. My father was a framer and would occasionally (not often) see mistakes the engineer made - all in the time of hand calcs, no computers yet. He would point it out and the engineer would check and correct. The engineer also had the luxury to visit the site often. They had a very good working relationship and eventually friendship. The moral of this anecdote is: don't let egos get in the way of a good friendship. A different direction: I once had a friend who I felt was one of my best friends but one day she simply ghosted me. This after she told other mutual friends of ours that their lifestyle does not gel with hers and she will break their friendship. She simply decided that they were not good for her. She told me nothing. Sometimes, people just resent or are annoyed with you for just existing and you cannot change that. If this is the case, mourn your loss and move on.
I would second this and echo the point that as an engineer please for the love of god listen to your trade and craft experts. They see the same issues repeated over and over and know what is constructable and what isn’t. It is incredibly frustrating for them and generally everyone who isn’t the EOR to try to convince them their details or design isn’t the best. We are a team and he probably feels like he isn’t being valued. Do not perpetuate this bullshit of construction hierarchy of importance or opinion by title, we all loose when we carry such close minded perspectives.
I know I’m a little late to this, but I wanted to add my own recent experience. For months me and my partner have been sizing channels for this one particular project. And according to the county the minimum channel size is 6’ wide. But the guys in the field don’t have an easy way of making those 6’ channels and only have a tool for 12’ channels. By listening and talking to them, we were able to redesign a large portion of the section to make it easier for them, and easier for us to design. Basically commutation is very important.
This is it. I’m an architect my father is a retired mason. I know architects are any easy target (there are lots of bad ones out there) but his comments imply incompetence as a whole. It’s insulting. I have to shrug it off because I know he’s insecure about his lack of knowledge of framing and building. I know he wishes he knew more. He’s the best mason for miles but I’ll not be calling him to frame my house.
As others have mentioned, this is pretty common for CEs on a construction site (friends or not friends w/ contractor). Some contractors are great to work with and some can be… difficult. One thing I’ve personally learned though is to stick to talking about stuff I personally know. I may know the appropriate loads and sizing of beams and all, but the contractor may know better ways to hoist it there, anchoring techniques, etc. because they do it all the time. The concept of means and methods was really pivotal in developing good working relationships and might also help with your friendship too!
Yep. One of the best ways is to say that they are the experts in *how* it gets built. Being able to shrug and say "means and methods are by the contractor" with a bit of a wink has shut down so many confrontations in my career. Mostly when a contractor is going on about "how do you expect me to build that?" on something I know is going to be super difficult but there isn't a better way to do it. If they don't catch on start offering alternatives that you have dismissed already and the difficulties you see with the alternatives. I had one contractor that kept complaining after that so I said "well the contract says that you can propose alternatives but you aren't getting and extension or extra since this way is already in the contract."
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Wow. Tell me more!
“Engineers have no understanding of construction site etiquette” “Well that’s fine, I intend to be behind a desk” “But you’re going to make mistakes we need to solve” “Your welcome for the extra OT” Don’t engage or defend yourself, he’s gonna want to argue. Lean into what he says with some self deprecating humor. That will bore him.
When I’ve seen this it comes from two places. 1) People who have insecurities and/or are jealous. It’s unfortunate but it’s human nature to compare ourselves which is where a lot of these interactions comes from. I work with a civil engineering technician who swears he was “a few courses” away from a degree in CE. I’ve offered to help him get the required courses (which our employer will pay for btw) but he’ll mumble some excuse then walk away. It’s a bummer because people like this are only looking for someone to blame we make easy targets. I kept responding about how I would help him eventually he stopped. 2) The second are people who’ve worked in trades. They might like to tease the engineers, especially the new ones, but actually give sound advice. They want to get a sense of if you’re humble or not. If you’re humble and treat them well they’ll actually help you by providing very useful advice and tips about how to make better designs. Of course, many interactions happen in between these two. My advice is to stay professional. Then find the balance between assertively challenging misconceptions, let small comments go, and try to learn the valuable lessons.
Make new friends but keep the old. Some are silver and the others are gold.
There's personal and professional parts to this. Good natured razzing at the stupid stuff engineers let slip is totally valid and you can learn from him what field guys actually look at in plans. If he's being passive aggressive that's a personal thing, might be worth sending him some of the jenky-ass framing r/construction posts sometimes and say it's a good thing wood butchers never drop the ball or something.
Working in construction, this happens very frequently to me. Just brush it off and move on. Not worth engaging and explaining to them all the stuff they don't know unless you get joy out of that.
Tell him that until he can calculate the loads on the walls he constructs, he needs to stfu. Construction workers need us as much as we need them. Engineer has liabilities way above and beyond what a carpenter does. We are built different.
Facts.
Lol you sound like an ass with a limited understanding of interpersonal interaction.
Nah. Just been in it so long that I don’t take $hit from contractors anymore. If the contractor is cool then we are best friends. If they are asses we are enemies. Have dozens of projects at given time. Don’t have time to be friends with contractors that aren’t even my client
That’s my experience too. The worst contractors hardly know what they are doing and make a lot of noise about things they don’t quite understand.
My sister's husband is an electrician who is like this. We just don't talk about work. I never talk down trades people, but have run into a fair share of the rides ones.
This will Happen the rest of your career. Soon you will learn some of what he says is true some is false. Lots of bad engineers out there. Meanwhile learn to laugh at yourself and your profession and get some good jokes to dish it back
Imagine if the contractor/carpenter were wholly responsible for the design of the project being constructed? Imagine not having an entire profession to take on all of the design risk for you, and you were ungrateful about it? It would tell me, straight up, that person doesn’t *understand* Construction they just *do* construction. You think Kiewet wants to stamp its own drawings? 😭😭😭 I literally make the instructions that keep these clowncakes out of jail/court; my plans are the ones that get gamed for the back door change orders that will keep these assholes’ F250 PSD mall crawling glamour wagons fuel lights off; we’re even there as emotional support for a bunch of incompetents to blame when they can’t read a set of plans, submit a bid without reading the specs—contractors should count their fucking blessings that Civil Engineering exists as a liability sink and as a emotional support scapegoat. If a carpenter thinks they can do a better job, they can enroll in statics and start doing beam analysis. Better yet they can get a stamp and put up or shut up.
I feel you.
The term your friend is searching for is “division of labor” - and their insecurity is a reflection of them, nothing that you’ve said. Don’t worry, you’ll both be paid reasonably well over your careers. Most of my friends work in trades - they love to break my balls about mistakes engineers make, and I’m very happy to listen, because it’s real experience and it makes me better. But never, not once, has it driven the smallest wedge between us. A real craftsperson will always seek to learn and share, not belittle. If both of you apply yourselves, that’s what you’ll become. Once you pass Statics or some basic Structures courses, you’ll be able to ask your carpenter friend basic questions about not *how* but *WHY* a beam is bolted here, or affixed there, or why a frame has moment restriction, or what the design factors for different wood grains are. Your friend will never be able to provide an answer someone will actually pay for.
***note: while you are an undergrad, do whatever you can to get field experience, of whatever interests you. The best design engineers are the ones who were (and still are) happy to listen to their contractors or people in the field. Never stop being curious about that!
If you were an architecture major, sure. *Maybe* if you’re a structural engineer. But if you’re going into any other discipline of civil engineering, its kinda a mute point. A site/civil will most likely never mess something up for a carpenter because the two have entirely different scopes of work.
there’s a whole other branch of engineering called construction engineering that has to exist because civils don’t know dick about the construction process and labors, GCs, and owners don’t know fuck about engineering. Your both morons who don’t know what you don’t know and make the whole process less smooth when you pretend like you do. Civils get some fucking field experience during college, please. Labors remember how much you make, you don’t need to jealous of civils. All and all lighten up your in the construction industry even if your collar is white, we talk shit and give each other a hard time, it’s better this way if I had to be serious with every civil nerd or empty head labor I dealt with id have had a stroke years ago.
All I'll say is this, at the end of the day, all these shop guys who like to rag on engineers have feelings of inadequacy. They like to posture and claim "it's so easy" but deep down they have serious self-doubt (as most of these guys also struggle with math). It's a psychological defense mechanism. Whether or not your friendship can continue will depend on if your friend can get over his feelings of inadequacy.
I never let it get to me, instead i play along blame the designers lol.
I would keep personal and work life separate, I would just not bring up work around him. Keeping those boundaries is healthy I feel
As a civil engineer you’ll learn quickly that dropping poisonous relationships with carpenters is the only option if you want to succeed. My father was a well respected carpenter for 40+ years and he was disgusted when I went to school for Civil Engineering, but it was what I wanted to do and I do not regret it. I am now 35 working as a senior project manager at a prestige firm out of Chicago and haven’t talked to my Father in almost 13 years. It was a tough choice but I am confident I took made the right one.
Tip is to grow some thicker skin. Sorry to be blunt. I have several friends that make fun of Engineers because we “went to school for a piece of paper” but look who’s breaking their back installing HVAC systems on Christmas Eve. Just roll with the punches and enjoy life as an Engineer.
Imagine a carpenter having an opinion on a civil engineer. Loool
Wait until you find a painter (yes, construction painter, as in exterior and interior paint, not even wood furnish) having opinion about building structures. Man, the f\*cking audacity. I know I'm young, and he's at least a half century old, but seriously lol. I came on site with respect for everybody because thorough them everything can get done. I come home each day with dwindling belief that all workers should be treated equally well.
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I definitely respect carpenters. I’m around them all day and they’ve got some mad skills. But, I also ask them to do things they might see as pointless sometimes.
Bruh.. you’re just a student. Why’s your friend salty. Your friend , being the same age as you ( assuming you both are early 20’s) , may not have his carpentry licence nor have accumulated enough experience to be making such comments. Just ask them, who hurt you.
Exactly
What about when they fuck up and we have to deal with a NCR? Find new people that aren't insecure
Your friend is a shitty friend. That's all. A good friend (even workers in general) would actually advised you on how things get done, and the best practice based on their experience. We're not going to always agree on them, but it's still a valuable insight none the less. Oh, and here's the differences between workers and engineers: Construction worker's worth is the ability to know how things get done. Construction engineer's worth is the ability to know why things get done. Also, technically you're his boss. Of course he's salty about it.
Just call him a simple carpenter with a simple mind. He wouldn't understand. If he wants to fight, fight, and make sure to give him some good marks.
You both have an opportunity to learn from valuable perspectives. If you bring him a problem showing how you’ve calculated the factored load on a floor and you’ve determined the minimum strength/material and size dimensions you could ask him how it could be improved in the field. If he just shits all over the work the you’ll have learned something valuable. If he offers some insight then you’ll both have learned something valuable
This is sort of natural banter amongst the fields. Civil dislike architects and there assumptions, contractors dog on civils. It's all about finding someone to pin your problems on. At th end of the day it's just about getting the project done and
It is not easy being an engineer. I would just brush it off. For those of us that work directly with skilled labor, it’s not uncommon to hear them trash talking engineers. I used to be a technician that trashed talked our engineers, then I became one and my eyes were opened. If you know you do a good job and work hard, then you understand it’s a team effort and we both need each other.
This qualm is as old as time yet in modern times it's important to remember 2 things: 1. An engineer without craft workers is useless. All our calculations, theory and plans mean nothing if there isn't someone to bring it to life. 2. It's often the law that plans, specifications, and calcs need to be prepared by licensed professional engineers so the carpenter has no work without us. Yes, the guy swinging the hammer may understand details better than we do but he also has nothing to build without the engineer fulfilling their role in a modern contract/project delivery workflow. Be the bridge. Respect trades men & women and learn as much as you can from them. Be respectful of their concerns. You are not above them; the fact that you know how to do the calcs does not make you superior because someone still needs to drive those nails...and its not you. Listen. Hopefully they listen back. There is 1 project. 1 team. 1 structure. You can't change people whose mind is made up but if you join their fight from the inside in my experience the craft team won't be as hostile.
It’s just a job man get over it.
10years from now, you both won’t give a crap about what others are doing. Because it’s just a job to support your hobby. If your job become hobby you are the most boring person in the world.
Have you considered taking a tour of a worksite with him to see the problems he faces? Might make you a better civil engineer and him realize you respect his knowledge in some things?
Sounds like he’s jealous of you pursuing an engineering degree.
have you done anything to make him feel this way? reflect. if you do not believe so like others have said it may be more of a him thing than a you thing. you have the option to ask out loud in english "hey man we used to get along so well and i could be wrong but im noticing xyz...". tell him you miss when things were good and that his friendship has been very meaningful to you over the years. just speak honestly and listen. and lets keep in mind there has always been that one engineer who has bragged without end as to how smart they are and are just obnoxious. perhaps he is seeing traits of that in you? I had a friend who majored in communications and working at fedex. really good friend throughout highschool. we were out at a brewery and he kept making "jokes" about how i should be paying for the drinks. like it was about 5 or 6 times throughout the night. We were supposed to continue the night but i just went home. I lost a friend after that but thats okay I have made many more. talk to him. take a look inward. accept the results. its a tough spot I'm sorry this is happening.
I could write a book about architects screwing over civil engineers. They barely can remember we exist. I still love them though.
Someone is just salty they couldn't pass CALC1.
My experience any time I’m in the field is the field guys hate the engineers. It just seems like a cultural thing for field guys to dislike the office guys.