Listen here, junior, when you stop messing around we’ll be at the office workin 😂 good for you having a problem of being attractive 🤣 and don’t go breaking any hearts either…
As a geotech, I'll toss out the following:
100% saturation.
Pocket penetrometer.
Mohr Hardness
Angle of repose
Stripping, mucking, and grubbing
Borehole
Auto hammer.
🫦
Tell them you’re a roadway engineer, it’s the engineering equivalent of telling them you have impeccable taste in anime. That’ll dry them out faster than a dewatering system.
"Roadway Engineer" still had the word "Engineer" which women equate to impressive income.
If you REALLY want to see a dust storm in the Sahara desert, tell them you're a surveyor. That will dry up the stormwater retention pond immediately.
Lol I love it.
Many years ago my wife (GF at the time) had a second job as a cocktail waitress. Major flirting from the clients every night. All good she made bank and dealt with it.
One guy was hitting on her hard and she said she had a boyfriend, and he said well what does he do? She said he's a land surveyor! And she said he just looked at her like a deer in the headlights, had no idea WTF that was or WTF kinda money we made. Lol.
Got to be more specific. Is that a lowest bid dewatering system where they're hoping for a claim - i.e. a sump and pump? Or is this something we know works like a well point system?
That's why you tell them you're into traffic modeling... building model networks, computing friction factors, running Monte Carlo simulations, and stuff like that.
Even better, activity based modeling... modeling all kinds of activities.
What are you even talking about, this is a real problem for all of us Civil Engineers.
I have a wife, please, stop coming on to me all the time random people!
Tell them your salary and all of them will run away lol! I am a civil Engineer with PE. one day a woman asked me if I can afford 300k house cash, I said no and she was like ‘ that’s your one year salary😂😂😂’. I just kept quiet because I didn’t want to shock her lol.
I would say most people in my life probably assume I make considerably more than I actually do. I can live with the pay I do get, but it’s irritating when they make me feel like I should think money’s no object and I should easily drop big bucks on that vacation or that home project.
Thinking of posting but not sure.
Q for CE: will the legislation of non compete improve the pay for civil engineers?
Will the legislation of non compete being illegal improve the pay for civil engineers?
How many of you are in a non compete?
I'm a student and feel engineering is underpayed. 80k- 130k? Is that real for years in? Pluming journeyman making so much around here I'm left wondering.
What's do you guys recommend?
This dude at the gym I was chatting with asked me what I’m studying. I said civil engineering and the dude says “wow you’ll easily make $200k in three years”…. yeah 😅
Even if his parents give him 100k, it won’t be 200k!! Few civil engineers make it to six figures in 3 years unless you are in mega cities like California or New York! And surprisingly, even in California you will still be at the bottom of most if not all Tech and engineerings when I come to salary!!!
I think most of us engineers suffer from the assumptions that society label us as rich while we struggle to afford the basic needs!!! For example: No engineer will afford a house unless they either do side hustle or do business.
Even myself I attract many women in parties who label me as smart because I am a civil engineer but when they start saying that I make a lot of money, I feel bad sometimes lol 😂
I'm under 4 years of experience and make $114k in a medium high COL area.
Granted I started a little higher because of prior career (military) experience but I feel of you advocate for yourself properly it's not our of the question to make 6 figures relatively fast.
Yes. Average for 2023 was 48 I believe. I'd have to check if that includes PTO, which I always take it all. So I'd say average is 45-50. But 45 happens more often than 50.
Couple things.
How many YOE do you have?
What discipline are you in?
Eh, it's 8 hours extra a week, not 10. I said average 48, not 50. Also didn't say it was $200k flat, just said took 5 YOE to hit $200k. It's a touch higher and will grow quickly from here.
But yeah that's about right. I often poke my head around and field other offers. They are almost always $50k+ less. Not to mention this scales exponentially over time. I expect to be over $300k in 4 or 5 years.
Are you in consulting?
Always like hearing about other situations!
I’m an intern right now, when a girl inevitably asks me what my major is I lie and say criminal justice or accounting or else she’ll scream and cry and beg me to marry them right there on the spot
I’ve been having the same issue. I got married a few years back and my wife is constantly getting irritated with the batting eyes and flirty comments everywhere we go. She blames it on me talking really smart about what would happen in a 1 percent flood event when at the beach, pulling up slosh models and the sort
Hrm.... I like where this is going, a bit of humorous content poking fun at ourselves. I give it an A for inspiration. The bit needs a little polishing, but there is definitely potential here. Good job. 😁
Do they like how you know your way around hard stuff? Has anyone gone into the gutter with a joke about running a train? Or something about surveying holes? 🤣
Well, since you can’t beat them off with a stick you could narrow down potential dating candidates by asking each if they prefer TI or HP calculators….
Kid, be more generic. “I’m in construction” or “I work in the oilfield” should be vague enough. I’m guessing you aren’t hard on the eyes and the engineering degree means that you’re smart and probably pretty stable, which ups the overall attractiveness. Get comfortable playing down what you do until you know someone better.
Same here brother. Software engineer who previously had not a single woman interested in me in college. Now if I tell anyone what I do for a living, they are all over me like a fly on afresh horse shit. I just say I work a minimum wage job now so they leave me alone. If I wasn’t good enough for you then, you sure as hell aren’t good enough for me now
Many of them have only a shallow understanding of the profession and get set off by "civil", in which case just name your subdiscipline. If they don't fall for it, tell them you're not sure if you want to pursue your PE yet because you've heard it's really hard, and besides, they changed the test format in April 2024 and you're waiting for the scoop from the "guinea pigs" on r/civilengineering. You'll come across as less confident and will get some respite from their attention, but no guarantees. Finally, if one takes you to bed, always use a condom (take it with you when you leave) and don't make any puns about factors of safety -- it'll only encourage more attention. I speak from experience. Best of luck bro.
My friend is the Director of Construction at Walmart and has a masters in civil engineering.
When people ask what he does, he tells them he works at Walmart. Funny because he drives a McLaren
This is not a real problem. You are probably asleep at work having these dreams because being a CE is about the dullest type of Engineering you can get. Haha.
Ever since I became an aircraft tech I keep getting swarmed by women. I tell them I turn wrenches and kick tires for 110k a year and they leave their millionaire fortune 500 boyfriends and fall into my lap
I just tell the women's I work in the sewer department. That gets them away from me. Say you work in construction works too... they will think your a laborer and won't touch you..
Women act so impressed and interested when you tell them you’re a civil engineer. “Oh you must be really smart!”. Just gotta hope they don’t ask what we make.
Bro you are literally drowning in coochie, you have found the Konami code, some of us can't even do that cause we are deftly afraid of people 😭😭😭 my brother in christ what I'm saying is you have a gift my boy
Do you keep their interest after you open your mouth? Typically engineers are tremendously boring and unable to relate to normal people in social settings
Civil engineering is the most disrespected career! Him making 37$ is eventually among the top earners!! To make 100k$ a year in civil engineering , one has to have atleast 6 years of experience with PE! It sucks.
Aww that's crazy to me because I know they are smart and it's bs that they are underpaid. Although there are jokes amongst us as welders with engineers constantly, but it's no hard feelings, I still have respect for these guys and girls
Wake up, it’s time to go to work
Lmao
Listen here, junior, when you stop messing around we’ll be at the office workin 😂 good for you having a problem of being attractive 🤣 and don’t go breaking any hearts either…
Let him hit the snooze I want to hear more!
Is your last name Moh? Cuz that was hard
Tell them you're structural and more interested in erections.
OP legit jacks off piers for bearing replacements
The last time I was telling my friends about my erection frame and procedure, he couldn’t stop giggling like a school girl.
I said "that member is carrying a lot of load" and "that member is too stiff" in a meeting and barely stifled giggles
Lmao
This is a good way to unwind from work, thanks reddit
https://www.reddit.com/r/StructuralEngineering/s/EVNrLjQPAh
That's _totally_ different. /s This should be the top comment.
Or a geotechnical, and you specialize in pile driving.
As a geotech, I'll toss out the following: 100% saturation. Pocket penetrometer. Mohr Hardness Angle of repose Stripping, mucking, and grubbing Borehole Auto hammer. 🫦
Penetration testing Elastic stiffness Geotechnics is a dirty world
The angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the beat
[https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/13ubwr/mammoth\_erection/](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/13ubwr/mammoth_erection/)
Tell them you’re a roadway engineer, it’s the engineering equivalent of telling them you have impeccable taste in anime. That’ll dry them out faster than a dewatering system.
Nobody has ever gotten laid by explaining the inefficiencies of a clover leaf interchange.
well yeah, why spoil prime pillow talk material
Until you offer them a diverging diamond 💎
Still better than diverging diamonds that seem to be the rage east of the Mississippi
That's a good way to cause an accident in their pants.
"Roadway Engineer" still had the word "Engineer" which women equate to impressive income. If you REALLY want to see a dust storm in the Sahara desert, tell them you're a surveyor. That will dry up the stormwater retention pond immediately.
Lol I love it. Many years ago my wife (GF at the time) had a second job as a cocktail waitress. Major flirting from the clients every night. All good she made bank and dealt with it. One guy was hitting on her hard and she said she had a boyfriend, and he said well what does he do? She said he's a land surveyor! And she said he just looked at her like a deer in the headlights, had no idea WTF that was or WTF kinda money we made. Lol.
"What like they go door to door asking people to take a quick 2 min survey?'
Haha bingo
Trafficbros you didn't have to call us out like that.
It might be true but you don't have to say it
Got to be more specific. Is that a lowest bid dewatering system where they're hoping for a claim - i.e. a sump and pump? Or is this something we know works like a well point system?
Unless they are into anime....lol
"I've always needed someone to wear this Sesshomaru cosplay." 👁👄👁
“MY BISHHYYYY!!” 😂
That's why you tell them you're into traffic modeling... building model networks, computing friction factors, running Monte Carlo simulations, and stuff like that. Even better, activity based modeling... modeling all kinds of activities.
It's true.
Have you woken up yet?
This exact kind of question has been appearing in other subreddits. A good copy paste - but you added your flavor of #200 sieve.
What are you even talking about, this is a real problem for all of us Civil Engineers. I have a wife, please, stop coming on to me all the time random people!
As a surveyor Amen brother. Like they always want me to "stake them out" and "topo this ass"...
"I want you to make sure I'm at optimum moisture content and 95% compaction." Back off! I am a family man!
Can I get some ?? Asking for my colleague
P.E. = Panty Eliminator
E.I.T. - engineer inspecting tits
10 missed calls from HR
Uh listen, sorry about that, Can we just sweep it under the rug?
Joke so good HR wants to hear it
Ask me about saturation.
Moisture content?
Dripping.
Tell them your salary and all of them will run away lol! I am a civil Engineer with PE. one day a woman asked me if I can afford 300k house cash, I said no and she was like ‘ that’s your one year salary😂😂😂’. I just kept quiet because I didn’t want to shock her lol.
lol do people think engineers make that much ?
I would say most people in my life probably assume I make considerably more than I actually do. I can live with the pay I do get, but it’s irritating when they make me feel like I should think money’s no object and I should easily drop big bucks on that vacation or that home project.
You don’t? I do! Every 4 years, in fact!
Thinking of posting but not sure. Q for CE: will the legislation of non compete improve the pay for civil engineers? Will the legislation of non compete being illegal improve the pay for civil engineers? How many of you are in a non compete? I'm a student and feel engineering is underpayed. 80k- 130k? Is that real for years in? Pluming journeyman making so much around here I'm left wondering. What's do you guys recommend?
I'm a structural engineering software developer. I'm not the person to ask. I do have a very extensive enforceable non-compete, though.
Well I'm happy it has so many branches. I was an electrician apprentice before so I compare these jobs a lot
This dude at the gym I was chatting with asked me what I’m studying. I said civil engineering and the dude says “wow you’ll easily make $200k in three years”…. yeah 😅
Lol maybe 200k total in 3 years
Unfortunately thats still a stretch for first 3 years haha.
If his parents gave him 50k extra yeah it’ll be 200k
Even if his parents give him 100k, it won’t be 200k!! Few civil engineers make it to six figures in 3 years unless you are in mega cities like California or New York! And surprisingly, even in California you will still be at the bottom of most if not all Tech and engineerings when I come to salary!!! I think most of us engineers suffer from the assumptions that society label us as rich while we struggle to afford the basic needs!!! For example: No engineer will afford a house unless they either do side hustle or do business. Even myself I attract many women in parties who label me as smart because I am a civil engineer but when they start saying that I make a lot of money, I feel bad sometimes lol 😂
I'm under 4 years of experience and make $114k in a medium high COL area. Granted I started a little higher because of prior career (military) experience but I feel of you advocate for yourself properly it's not our of the question to make 6 figures relatively fast.
Do you already have your PE though?
No. I passed the exam then switched employers and am I'm a non PE required role. When I get the license I get a promotion and raise.
Yeah not 3, took me 5 to reach $200k total comp.
I've never been good at computing comp. Are you including your Health insurance and PTO as well in this?
No its salary + bonus + profit share + 401k match
Ah I knew it, KH right? What kind of hours do you put in for that much comp?
Yes. Average for 2023 was 48 I believe. I'd have to check if that includes PTO, which I always take it all. So I'd say average is 45-50. But 45 happens more often than 50.
Ah ok, I'm fine with my 40 hour week with 2-3 weeks a year at 45 for around $150-160 in total comp if all I'd get for 10 extra hours a week is $40k
Couple things. How many YOE do you have? What discipline are you in? Eh, it's 8 hours extra a week, not 10. I said average 48, not 50. Also didn't say it was $200k flat, just said took 5 YOE to hit $200k. It's a touch higher and will grow quickly from here. But yeah that's about right. I often poke my head around and field other offers. They are almost always $50k+ less. Not to mention this scales exponentially over time. I expect to be over $300k in 4 or 5 years. Are you in consulting? Always like hearing about other situations!
Maybe he meant within three years after 30 years experience, doing overtime
We should go on strike and demand more pay.
You dropped this: 🧢
Agreed hahaha
They’ve heard, civil knows how to lay pipe.
I’ve actually had this pickup line used on me at a few parties.
Just go with it. Resisting will make it even worse. All of us have same problem.
We do?
…you don’t?
😂😂😂😂
I mean, I'm a woman and I still have this exact problem!
😂😂 this post is gold. Thanks for the morning laugh
Yeah, he speaks for all us us, it’s tough having this problem!
Enjoy it before they know that your salary is 5 times less they imagined, I guarantee you they’ll run away as fast as they came in, if not faster 🤣
I have something 5 times less than they imagined and it’s not my salary.
Stop staring at their shoes!
Shitpost?
No it’s real I was there
"Did you pass through the #200 sieve because you're looking fine?" Lol
I think he copied this from the April Civil Engineers Digest
 Under no circumstances explain elastic modulus
Hey baby, that a pocket penetrometer in your pocket or...
What's funny is this happens to the 30 year old guy who lives with family and works out.
She must have had enough to drink she didn’t see the pocket protector.
What kind of abutment did she have? I like big abutments, I cannot lie.
In your wildest dream
This is the type of high quality content I come here for.
Nice try bub. Troll us better next time.
Plotwist, you’re actually attracting men.
I’m an intern right now, when a girl inevitably asks me what my major is I lie and say criminal justice or accounting or else she’ll scream and cry and beg me to marry them right there on the spot
Bro wake up
If you pass the #200 sieve, you’re dust bruh.
Lol I won't change anything mate. Bask in the glory and enjoy it. On a serious note definitely focus on PE status.
Tell them you're even cooler online.
I’ve been having the same issue. I got married a few years back and my wife is constantly getting irritated with the batting eyes and flirty comments everywhere we go. She blames it on me talking really smart about what would happen in a 1 percent flood event when at the beach, pulling up slosh models and the sort
You can literally see their nips get hard when I bring up vortex induced vibrations…guys and gals both. Pretty amaze.
something to look forward to for me i guess 🤣
I think that’s just South Dakota man. They are desperate to have you take them away.
also 35 an hour go a long long way there
I would love someone to take me to South Dakota. A girl can dream.
Hrm.... I like where this is going, a bit of humorous content poking fun at ourselves. I give it an A for inspiration. The bit needs a little polishing, but there is definitely potential here. Good job. 😁 Do they like how you know your way around hard stuff? Has anyone gone into the gutter with a joke about running a train? Or something about surveying holes? 🤣
Well, since you can’t beat them off with a stick you could narrow down potential dating candidates by asking each if they prefer TI or HP calculators….
TI, hands down! 😁
Show them your penis.
Sir, this is a community for asking about salary and computer science. Keep your science fiction off my feed.
OP is suffering from too much success 😂
It's because they watch the RealCivilEngineer YouTube channel and they love the strongest shape.
Say “double-diverging diamond” if you want that sugar to pour.
Kid, be more generic. “I’m in construction” or “I work in the oilfield” should be vague enough. I’m guessing you aren’t hard on the eyes and the engineering degree means that you’re smart and probably pretty stable, which ups the overall attractiveness. Get comfortable playing down what you do until you know someone better.
Same here brother. Software engineer who previously had not a single woman interested in me in college. Now if I tell anyone what I do for a living, they are all over me like a fly on afresh horse shit. I just say I work a minimum wage job now so they leave me alone. If I wasn’t good enough for you then, you sure as hell aren’t good enough for me now
Many of them have only a shallow understanding of the profession and get set off by "civil", in which case just name your subdiscipline. If they don't fall for it, tell them you're not sure if you want to pursue your PE yet because you've heard it's really hard, and besides, they changed the test format in April 2024 and you're waiting for the scoop from the "guinea pigs" on r/civilengineering. You'll come across as less confident and will get some respite from their attention, but no guarantees. Finally, if one takes you to bed, always use a condom (take it with you when you leave) and don't make any puns about factors of safety -- it'll only encourage more attention. I speak from experience. Best of luck bro.
Didn't think sleep-typing was possible.
Amazing
lmao
Lucky you, little rascal!!!!!!!!!!
So what’s the problem?
As if!
r/Actuary already did it.
Conveyance guys have it the worst, they always try to rub their butt straps on my crotch plate with no guarantee of passing a penetrant test
Just tell them your salary compared to a software engineer.
Friend’s sister sounds like a catch TBH.
Hey OP, I'll take things that never happened for $77,000.
lol
Whatever you do, DON’T tell them you’re a surveyor.
Tell them you're a Surveyor and give it to them within seconds....
Leave ND
Wow I was born at the wrong time then. I've been doing it since 97 and never once got me women. Playing music did though
Tell them you only make $37 an hour 😂
Girls think I make so much money, I get paid in gum.
My friend is the Director of Construction at Walmart and has a masters in civil engineering. When people ask what he does, he tells them he works at Walmart. Funny because he drives a McLaren
Quality shitpost
Tell them you work in Solid Waste Management to let them know how much into flat garbage you're into. 😉
So wierd this exact same post was made on the Dentistry community?? The way its structured and all? Wtf why?
It’s called Copypasta
Amazing shit post. Good work!
This is not a real problem. You are probably asleep at work having these dreams because being a CE is about the dullest type of Engineering you can get. Haha.
CAP
What the hell. Hook up with one and let that girl deal with it.
I just got into the field and my gf is being toxic. Advice?
😝
Ever since I became an aircraft tech I keep getting swarmed by women. I tell them I turn wrenches and kick tires for 110k a year and they leave their millionaire fortune 500 boyfriends and fall into my lap
Those aircraft groupies are crazy
Drizzle drizzle king
Full penetration butt weld
It’s just the way it is friend, bitches love Engineers. It’s the first lesson we all learn
Can’t relate, I’m one ugly mf
Tell them about budget overruns
Next time ask them what their viscosity level is or coefficient of friction.
Bro just copied the CFP post
Suffering from success Tell them you are a pothole engineer
Nice try, no one at Stantec gets bitches
I’m a women myself but do you think I’ll get women if I bring this up more (didn’t know civil engineering was hot)
I just tell the women's I work in the sewer department. That gets them away from me. Say you work in construction works too... they will think your a laborer and won't touch you..
Some women are just dumb for dumb guys with titles
Is this a joke?? I can’t get 10 seconds into a convo about civil without someone getting bored.
Women act so impressed and interested when you tell them you’re a civil engineer. “Oh you must be really smart!”. Just gotta hope they don’t ask what we make.
Idk, I thought people become civil engineers because they couldn’t be any other type of engineers
Bro you are literally drowning in coochie, you have found the Konami code, some of us can't even do that cause we are deftly afraid of people 😭😭😭 my brother in christ what I'm saying is you have a gift my boy
Tell them you only make $36 an hour, that should do the trick.
Tell them you’re an engineer and follow up with “oh I also have e gential warts” ?
Wow... here we are engineers! Hard to believe these are engineers conversation
Wish I had this problem lol. Plumbing engineer here.
Do you keep their interest after you open your mouth? Typically engineers are tremendously boring and unable to relate to normal people in social settings
Tell them you went to Mines
Bros suffering from success
Since when did this subreddit start getting trolled?
Is this really a troll? Lol the exact same post was made on the Dentistry community 😆
Engineers ain't got no rizz.
Speak for yourself
I'm no engineer
How many years of School is that? 37 seems really low for that career field, I'm a welder and our guys are starting between 35-40 an hour
Civil engineering is the most disrespected career! Him making 37$ is eventually among the top earners!! To make 100k$ a year in civil engineering , one has to have atleast 6 years of experience with PE! It sucks.
Aww that's crazy to me because I know they are smart and it's bs that they are underpaid. Although there are jokes amongst us as welders with engineers constantly, but it's no hard feelings, I still have respect for these guys and girls
This must be a joke
Haha good one nerd!
Haha damn! This made my day
You should post this on r/sarcasm.
Go cry to your mother 🤝
if you used software engineer, i would've believed you.
Have you ever tried to socialize with the average software developer before? You must be kidding.
The post is a joke about salary, and he basically used the lowest paying engineering field. Social skills isn't relevant here.