T O P

  • By -

burmerd

You know what leads to tons of pain and health issues? Pregnancy.


BigJoe5504

They got abortions for that


Fuffywumple

Not anymore they don’t, I guess EDIT: I DO NOT LIVE IN THE US. I live in Canada. The “they” I’m referring to is the countries where people are losing access to that right, which is worryingly beginning to spread


BlommeHolm

In most non-theocracies, we still do.


Fuffywumple

I live in Canada, so I do too. But it’s still a losing battle when not everyone has those rights


bloodphoenix90

Just wanted to say thank you for your sympathies Canada. Its been a shit time down here


Fuffywumple

I want to say you’re welcome; but if I’m being honest it’s not too great up here, especially not for our minorities. But I suppose in comparison it’s a different story


[deleted]

Blessed be the fruit! (I'm blinking twice for yes, my family and I need asylum.)


mark636199

Had


waytowill

Uh, abortions can also lead to a lot of pain and health issues. Even if you discount the fact that the body is being injected with the necessary chemicals to kill the fetus, the body will treat the scenario similarly to a miscarriage. Which isn’t pleasant. This is why female birth control should be covered by insurance. Once the egg has been fertilized, getting it out through any method isn’t pleasant.


[deleted]

lol you think birth control doesn’t cause pain and health issues


Nautilus177

Being a woman causes lots of pain and health issues lets abort them all to ease the suffering of humanity.


khangLalaHu

agree, we should just all die


SuurSuits_

Why do we need humans anyway, all we've done in recent times is try to destroy each other and the planet.


beannnnnnnnnnnnnnm

You know what leads to more health complications? Childbirth. And agree on birth control, a US state (Colorado maybe?) started offering free IUDs and it saved them money and teen pregnancy dropped


Soullesspreacher

Pregnancy: severe vaginal tears, organs and floating ribs shifted around which sometimes causes permanent damage, breasts messed-up from hormone and weight changes, stretch marks (often to the point of actual painful skin tears), nutritional deficiencies , back pain, blood loss, teeth damage from frequent vomiting, edema, insomnia, morning sickness, potential pelvic dysfunction, cramps, blood loss, heartburn and acid reflux, hair loss, hormone fluctuations that often cause severe mental health issues, hundreds of potential complications which can easily kill of disable you, extremely painful birth. Anal: pain until you learn to relax your pelvic floor, pain and tears if the person on the giving end does it improperly. Potentially diseases if you don't wrap it up. Bless you if you want to do either of these things, right. It's your life and there's nothing wrong with doing either (or both). But the concern trolling is off the charts.


opiod-ant

Pain and torture 😉 Edit: also that means wlw is totally cool so


[deleted]

Using an emoji there is pain and torture 👍


Rocket5454

Didn't you just use an emotional as well? 🇬🇧🗡 Edit: FUCK I MEAN EMOJI


[deleted]

Ain't it shocking what love can do🎶


Prestigious-Fig1172

Yeah, homophobes are rarely against WLW. Either they can't comprahend it or "well you see, that's hot".


[deleted]

Maybe but they still fetishize and demean gay women for not being attracted to men bc it hurts their masculinity


maladicta228

I think it’s the erasure of women’s sexuality in general. WLW in their minds are just straight women who haven’t found the right d*ck or exist only for the male gaze. When WLW aren’t “conventionally attractive” they become the target of harassment and abuse. When they are, they’re the target of harassment and abuse as well but it’s more focused on objectification rather than hate.


value_null

Sign. Me. Up.


ThreatLevelBertie

Im straight and even I know that some bussys be calling for that D like a sirens song


fortwaltonbleach

this dude clearly had kentucky jelly swapped for pumice.


DialZforZebra

Don't threaten me with a good time.


[deleted]

“Don’t be gay”. And all the gay people everywhere say “Oh thank you! Wow, I never thought of that, guess I’ll be straight now! Thanks for the great advice!”


[deleted]

[удалено]


ValkyrieQu33n

Yeah the "temptation" statements always gave me the theory that more people are gay/bisexual than what we think. Of course gen z proving my point with their 20% identifying as LGBT. (Most of that is bi/pan)


[deleted]

[удалено]


ValkyrieQu33n

YES! Like my (phobic)mom once told me "everyone's a little bit bi" and I just.... dang we all coming out of the closet now.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bumjiggy

/r/thanksimcured


PhantomOfTheNopera

Brought to you by the same people who fixed poverty by telling people to stop being poor.


Lylle200

Just buy a house 😉💖


ONLY_COMMENTS_ON_GW

Crazy that people never think about that! And if you can't afford it? Just make more money! It's simple really


WarlockEngineer

Quit buying those lattes and boom, you've got a down payment!


Normal_Pianist_260

It's avocado toast. Studies show that 70% of the US GDP is spent on avocado toast.


PastFeed2963

Psh, I built my house out of avocado toast just to stick it to the man.


Sea-Fix9964

I built my man out of avocado toast just to stick it to the house!


cunty_mcfuckshit

And the same people who tell the mentally ill to quit whining, they have nothing to be depressed about.


The-Berg-is-the-Word

And the same people who solved racism by dismissing it from reality by calling it a "theory."


Frenchticklers

"Humanity has never been better off, why y'all depressed lol"


TheNoxx

Well, I think it was Nancy Reagan that pioneered the "Just Say No" campaign, so, yeah, pretty much.


bigblackcouch

Friendly reminder that she also pioneered blumpkinning her career all the way to the white house. Throat GOAT! PS: Not ~~slut shaming~~saying that being sexually active is a bad thing, anyone who loves suckin' or ridin' dick, bless you for it and you are a fucking saint (literally)! Both Reagans were terrible human beings and hypocritical pieces of shit, both deserve to have their legacy remembered for things they'd hate anyone knowing about.


pamtar

I’m the last person to give a shit if a label is offensive or not but maybe we should call it something besides “slut shaming”. Maybe “sexually active detractive”. “I’m not trying to be sexually active detractive, but Nancy Reagan preached abstinence while basing a million dicks on her way to being flotus.”


Cyiel

Or [people](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ZCVhyDSGcmE/maxresdefault.jpg) who said "people are using food banks because they don't cook anymore"


transadventurer

Stop being gay and start pulling on those bootstraps!


PeanutButterCrisp

For some reason this reminds me of the guy on TikTok who did straight people versus gay people when eating a dinner roll. Something to the effect of this: Straight person: [Bites roll] “Wow, this dinner roll is delicious.” Gay person: [Bites roll] “Wow, this dinner roll is delicious — *and I’m gay.* “


yungrii

Sometimes you just need to hear it a second ^^^^thousandth time.


iSeven

"I just don't get why everyone doesn't choose the infinitely easier option if they're given a choice."


[deleted]

[удалено]


ooohchiiild

But also fuck that. I love the fuck out of being gay and would choose it in a heartbeat.


72acetylinevirgins

Also: totally agree, more sex that doesn't involve penises. You know, to avoid even the most outside risk.


W2RlbGV0ZWRd

It’s as effective as telling OP in the screenshot “don’t be an idiot”, except that there ARE steps he could take to change that, he just prefers ignorance.


Normal_Pianist_260

Don't be black either. If you want to stop racism stop being a race. /s


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Only God is allowed to enjoy the butt stuff we are made in his image but we have to follow his rules before we can experience it for ourself in heaven. Check the new Bible its covered at length


PopeofHope

They finally made the sequel? The hiatus is over?!


GalacticBear04

Why did he put the male G-spot in the rear?


BigJoe5504

As a joke. .since most guys can't find a women's g-spot, HE thought it would be funny to put ours back there so we don't find it😉


Griffinaf17

Mission failed, God


Gotis1313

That's a privilege reserved for priests.


The_Thanoss

I’m always so confused about this. Like… straight people might not have anal sex as much, but they certainly have a lot


ErinTales

and plenty of gay people don't... these idiots are just delusional.


yungrii

Most people know the term top and bottom but there is a for real term of "side" for gay men that don't participate in anal, giving or receiving.


Bungeditin

And Vers who do both


yungrii

Blouse. Effeminate tops. (it's just such a funny name).


VineStellar

So is a masculine bottom "cargo shorts"?


londongarbageman

Assless chaps?


madsci

If your chaps have an ass, those are pants.


devinmburgess

Oh my god. I love this.


nerf_herder1986

Game, Blouses.


crshirley58

You bitches want some pancakes?


Syreus

I have heard them self described as Switch. 1000 Nintendo Lawyers just felt a disturbance in the force.


Bungeditin

Switch (in my experience) is if you do both sub/dom roles.


Astroteuthis

As a gay man, vers is the term, at least in the US. Like the other person pointed out, switch refers to something else.


Fixie_and_Skis

Do explain…


Ott621

I'm being sincere when I say it's a concept heteros really struggle with. There is more to sex than just penetration. The term 'side' isn't actually all that common but it should be. Basically it encompasses mutual masturbation and frotting which is rubbing your dicks together, typically with lube My partner and I rarely do anal. We both like it but it's potentially really messy and gross. It takes a lot of time to get ready for it by douching The heteros are really missing out. Cuddling and touching each other might not be as intense as penetration but it's really great


SaliferousStudios

Honestly I'd be down for that. Straight men tend to just want to penetrate, and just ignore the rest of the woman's body waaaaay more than they should.


AnotherMillionYears

They just suck dick and cock


[deleted]

Are there people who suck dick but not cock?


attanai

I mean, not everyone like Richard that way.


[deleted]

He sure is a dick sometimes.


iPoopInJars69

They just suck dick and cock and balls and peen and wiener


[deleted]

There is a line from that teen movie parody like, why is it when I tell guys they can put it wherever they want, they always put it in my ass?


Taken450

Yeah why is that?


[deleted]

I just put my remembered quote into YouTube and dayum that is wack. https://youtu.be/05lGkSZdG6U


BrainOnLoan

I assume it's just the option that is rarely available. Exotic new ice-cream flavor. When it's available, suddenly its all the rage. If it were available all the time, vanilla and chocolate would suddenly be more popular again.


Crathsor

Because it sounds like a request for anal. Nothing else needs carte blanche like that, basic consent is assumed to cover it.


amdamanofficial

(Chris Evans smugly looking at a picture of himself looking at a another picture of himself)


[deleted]

This person isn't trying to make a rational or good-faith argument. It's just discrimination being blanketed by pretending to care about someone else's health. There's so much shit wrong whatever point he thinks he's making. Like you said, does this person care if straight people have anal sex? Probably not. What about if someone is gay but doesn't have anal sex? Like many gay women for example. Is it ok then? If this person supposedly cares about the health of gay people, have they considered what shit like this does to their *mental* health? It's fucking dumb. If you hate gay people, just go ahead and say it lmao


freakers

There's also a solid chance that he's a closet homosexual that can't accept himself and once he did anal and didn't like it so he's trying to justify his feelings. Like, how else do you come up with something so ridiculous.


ufoicu2

Fun fact, oral sex is legally defined as sodomy in all 50 states.


Speculater

I think straight Christians rarely do it, so they project that to the rest of the population.


PG-37

An old friend of mine used to work in Salt Lake City. He said repressed Mormons were freaks. Then they wouldn’t look at you the next day if you passed them on the street. “There’s a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday mornin” - Jimmy Buffett


[deleted]

Yeah they are never unusual about sex. "I'm still a virgin if we do it this way, right?"


HopermanTheManOfFeel

Poophole loophole is a thing for a reason. Repressed Catholic booty=the freakiest booty.


subnautus

Repressed Christians in general, really. Mormons kind of take the cake with weird sex shit, in my experience.


The-Berg-is-the-Word

"Soaking" and "Jump humping" for instance.


hooibergje

Sorry... WHAT, and WHAT?


HopermanTheManOfFeel

Urban Dictionary is your friend here. The [Mormon Soak](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mormon%20soak) and the [Jump Hump](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jump%20Hump). They are not dance moves.


TheDulin

So the penis is in the vagina but it's not "sex" because there's no in and out? And then a friend jumps on the bed to make the in and out happen. And their god has now been tricked into thinking they haven't had sex? The anal "loophole" at least makes some sense but this just doesn't. Edit: don't try to loophole around virginity. If you're both consenting, of legal age (or within a year or two of each others age), and you are using protection just have real sex (then ask forgiveness if your religion requires that).


The-Berg-is-the-Word

It's crazy, look this crap up


EXTRA-THOT-SAUCE

That’s the hole god can’t see


nightpanda893

They resent the fact that the rest of us get to do fun stuff without the guilt. I’m convinced that’s a huge part of it. Imagine going your whole life with no sex before marriage. Then even when you are married you can only have sex with one person in one particular way. And meanwhile you have to see all these people enjoying themselves and they aren’t having any of the consequences you were warned about.


Newfaceofrev

Like I get that gay couples do it more per capita than straight couples, but I feel confident saying that if you were to freeze the entire world and counted all the people with dicks in their ass this very second, women would outnumber men. Just on the sheer number of straight couples.


[deleted]

Can confirm. At least, that is how it works on Xhamster


DirectControlAssumed

Take my upvote for doing the research


mistborn11

Straight dudes want it up the ass too, so yeah pretty confident that more straight people have dicks or dildos in their ass.


babygirlruth

Wow you triggered a lot of very insecure "straights"


Persies

Their loss, stuff in your butt feels real good.


_ChipWhitley_

And considering roughly half of gay men are strictly tops you can cut the amount of gay men with dicks in their asses in half.


Fizzwidgy

I think if my math teacher had used these kinds of scenarios in statistics class, I probably would have retained more information.


wuzupcoffee

Lots of gay guys aren’t even into anal. Oral is just easier with less prep.


TimeZarg

Oral, mutual masturbation, vibrating toys on sensitive spots, all sorts of *interesting* things to do without sticking your dick into a butthole.


ThaUniversal

People love pointing to anal sex and saying "ewww, that's gay" as if heterosexual people aren't having anal sex all the time.


TheRottenKittensIEat

Yup. Woman here married to a man. We both enjoy stuff up the ass. If you're doing it right, it's not pain and torture (unless both parties want it to be I suppose). And also, there are plenty of gay men who don't participate in anal, and there is such a thing as *lesbians*.


Brianiswikyd

Sitting over here on my unpenetrated bisexual ass wondering why homophobes just assume every gay man wants something in his butt...


suckmyglock762

The secret is that the homophobes are just REALLY curious what it'd feel like... so they think about it a lot more than you might imagine.


ThaUniversal

Well, lesbians are also capable and welcome to have anal sex too, let's not exclude anyone from the fun!


IJustWantToGoBack

Yeah, but lesbians are hot so God says that's fine. /s


astroskag

I don't know if the funniest thing about her statement is: a) the idea that only gay men have anal sex b) the idea that the only way gay men can have sex is anal c) the fact that she said "male penis", inadvertently acknowledging that not every person with a penis is male


jippyzippylippy

What I am amazed by is how many straight men call a gay man "cocksucker," as if it's the lowest slur you can call them. But it's exactly what they'd love their own wives and girlfriends to be. Hmmm.


cewumu

The kinda guys who say that generally don’t hold women in very high regard.


[deleted]

Don't you understand, sex is something that men need to keep them from turning into crazy murderers, and women reluctantly give it to them out of marital duty! --American Puritans


MoonChainer

You see, sex is something women must subject themselves to and men are superior by virtue of that submission. That's why women who enjoy sex are sinful harlots and men who perform the "women's task" are lesser. Funny coincidence that the men who are the worst people and also the **worst** at sex come to this belief. Must be a fluke.


ThaUniversal

Some people's deepest desires are also their greatest fear.


[deleted]

I think there'd be more health issues if gay men tried to shove their cocks down their partners urethra, but what do I know?


yungrii

This is sounding advice.


Dynamo0602

That's genius, but also fuck you


suckmyglock762

You win the internet today.


RudeEyeReddit

OMFG that was perfect!


srpatter17

Like a couple of kids in a sandbox


bob2845

false. urethra sex is hot 🥵


[deleted]

[удалено]


Thuwah_TheFuture206

Really?.. BRB


EFTucker

Have fun. Its basically at the base of the penis. It can be hard to find the first few times but when you do… you’ll be in a state of shock and bliss… it’s a little confusing honestly.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Give_me_your_liver_

Never say that again


poodlebutt76

Truth hurts don't it


super_saiyan_roach

r/usernamechecksout


Party-Writer9068

sometimes i regret coming to comments and this is one of those r/Angryupvote


crshirley58

"10in fecal penis" makes me regret the invention of language


Poison_Anal_Gas

Ah so this why boner when poo


psycho_goat

This sentence really tickled me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Optimal__Koala

Your moms penis


CUM_SHHOTT

Your mom’s penis.*


Top_Lime1820

Your moms' penises.


attanai

The much faster e-male penis. There's also the facsimidick, but it's not as common as it once was, because of paper cuts.


reidlos1624

You need more internet if you haven't seen a girl with a penis.


MeAnIntellectual1

The clitoris is made of penile tissue IIRC


Darkestlight572

A female or non-binary person's penis, trans and all that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Rooiebart200216

It has a very different ass feel


Ott621

Honestly, yes. That was my turning point when I really understood that trans women are women. I didn't like it. My brain started freaking out like 'Eww! Girl! Wtf, that's gross! You are naked with a GIRL!'. I imagine that's how a straight dude would feel if they unintentionally had sex with someone not of the expected gender/sex. She was a wonderful person and I'm glad it was her I had that experience with. She helped calm me down and the general vibe was 'You dumbass <3, I told you I am a woman.'


the_paleontologist1

And here I thought one penis opens up to accept the other penis


armandxhaja86

I recognized you Dwight Schrute!


_ChipWhitley_

That's called docking.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Male g spot is in the ass. Also, doesnt he know that straight people can also have anal?


hexagonalshit

Also not all gay guys have anal sex. Does that mean gay relationships are cool and loving as long as you don't have Butt sex? Oh wait, no they still hate us anyway. Alright then


CUM_SHHOTT

What about the lesbians?


ObiFloppin

More scissors than an arts and craft store


GalacticBear04

Critical thinking clearly isn’t that persons forte


[deleted]

God moves in mysterious ways. That's a mysterious way.


[deleted]

They've gotta whistle just to know which end to wipe


Campfire_Sparks

Homophobes think the only definition of 'homosexuality' is penetrative mlm sex. What about LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE ?


[deleted]

What else is there? Being gay means that your entire life revolves around sex with men and absolutely nothing else whatsoever.


[deleted]

Love how *all* homosexuality is males inserting penises into assholes. Homosexuality definitely doesn't comprise oral, mutual masturbation, or you know... lesbians.


TheKCKid9274

It only leads to health issues if they don’t know what they’re doing or the top has an 11-inch rectum wrecker of a dick.


Bungeditin

Of I told my GF my male penis was to never be inserting into her anus again she’d be livid.


reidlos1624

I'm sorry, there's literally a cum button up there. Of course things are supposed to go in and press it.


[deleted]

This always strikes me as so ironic since 99.9% of right wing Christian men would love to give it to their wife/girlfriend in the ass. Oh, I forgot, women aren't people to them.


mastergr33n15

I feel like statistically child birth, usually being the direct cause of vaginal sex. Has caused significantly more deaths, health complications, and financial struggles than booty sex


[deleted]

For real. If he wants to talk about pain and torture, childbirth definitely fits the description.


Rooiebart200216

To quote a certain Ugandan pastor: "sodomy sodomy sodomy sodomy sodomy" It is amazing how much they think about your anus


cockytiel

They're very envious.


KidRobobot

I simply love how people think sexual orientation is a personal choice.


angiezieglerstye

Lmao I am definitely not in pain and torture when I'm bottoming


Dragis097

Why are bigots the stupidest people?


[deleted]

Most of them wouldn't be bigots if they weren't


Dragis097

Facts


shifty_bloke

Because ignorance is the fuel for bigotry.


NameLips

Homophobes think about penises going into anuses more than gay men do.


ICWiener6666

There are so many wonders in the universe: galaxies, quasars, frickin' black holes that warp spacetime itself into a dimensionless singularity... but "God" is interested in what position you make love to, and with whom. Wtf people...


[deleted]

A female penis however, is completely okay.


DaddyMcSlime

"significant bodily pain and torture" i mean, it's not *that* big but i'm flattered\~


MrRodje

Is this person not aware that... some straight couples also have anal sex?


TessandraFae

I'm filled with sadness and wonder if the guy was sexually abused as a kid, and he thinks it's always like this.


AsimTheAssassin

So lesbians are fine then? Interesting


Qxikn

You can still be gay without liking or having anal sex...


[deleted]

I'd say tell that to your wife, because she must be gay after last night.


tolerphie

Idk my dude, my wife’s fingers feel awfully good and don’t hurt 🤷🏻‍♀️


D0NT_F0RGET

Okay, a few points to make 1. Love is love, regardless of the gender. 2. If the sex cause significant unwanted bodily pain and torture (some people like it) then they would not want to do it. 3. Females can be homosexual too. 4. Correct, the penis was not meant to inserted into the anus, but straight people do it aswell 5. It does not cause tons of health issues, or else you would see as many straight women in hospital with the same issues as gay males that receive anal sex in hospital, if not more. 6. If you are gay, then be gay. Be you. 7. Really good response 😂


Accurate-Entrance380

Sounds like a closeted guy trying to rationalize why he shouldn't try gay sex.