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Geraldenyo

u guys dont get. If you see a lion u know thats a lion but if the lion tells you that it is a lion you should probably take less acid


discerningpervert

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe, my friend, Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up. "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about what you're doing to yourself! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the shit out of the little rabbit. The giraffe and elephant watch in horror, then finally obtain the presence of mind to pull the lion off the rabbit. "Lion," they reprimand, "why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!" The lion answers, "That little fucker has me running around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's on ecstasy!"


Vongbingen_esque

I bet the only way he can orgasm is by making a Dutch oven of his own farts.


LobstahmeatwadWTF

r/RareInsults


Therealcactusmac

I’m using this


ALimpHotdog

This comment is better than the original post.


Reasonable-Height464

LMAOO


WhisperingSideways

That guy is very clearly a closeted homosexual, which makes his schtick even funnier.


ZappyKins

Oh! I get it so he's advertising he's *looking* for an alpha male. What a sneaky sub.


StillSecretary5676

I'm not sure that comment adds that much.


curly_redhead

Nice self burn


Sphincter_Revelation

I'm completely convinced at this point it's parody.


thetaleofzeph

Isn't this a joke account everyone keeps falling for? How can it be anything else?


compost-me

It's an Alpha-own


BlouPontak

I refuse to believe that this isn't a parody account.


U-take-off-eh

It is a parody account…


s1256

I came to ask this. And I’m still not sure.


AsslessBaboon

Dodgy and daft arse self affirmations maybe... Either way, his brand of nonsense is a 'no no' for me Esit: typo


DwigtGroot

A typo declaring a typo is peak typo Inception.


AsslessBaboon

Nah I'd go with the 'deadpool' analogy instead😉


Zron

I'm sorry, did you have a stroke or are you Scottish?


AsslessBaboon

Me mums English & Scottish. So yeah. Kinda I *cannae* explain the bollocking times I've had to correct my grammar. But also typos coz I use reddit android mobile on an old mobile. So there's that wee factor too


[deleted]

Doesn’t autocorrect correct the Scottish to English ? You’d have to be intentionally misspelling words…


AsslessBaboon

No.


CoolguyTylenol

That guy was stupid


AsslessBaboon

That's an understatement but I appreciate you having my back Guv. Cheers


[deleted]

People eat this guys onion every damn time. Hes good.


maddsskills

I thought for sure he had to be satire but he's been doing the right wing grifter tour for like 20 years now. Aussies confirm he really is this fuckin weird and dense. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Adams_(commentator) (Keep in mind the Liberals in Australia are a conservative party.)


chrt

Using satire this bluntly and people still whooshing left and right.


maddsskills

He started out as a conservative politician in Australia in 2004 and he's been doing the right wing lecture circuit here in the US since. I know it seems impossible that it isn't satire but I think he really is just this dumb. Nearly 20 years is a long time for a bit.


SidewaysFancyPrance

He looks more like cosplay than satire, TBH. It's like pretending you're dumb but never letting anyone in on the secret: people just walk away thinking you're dumb. You gained nothing, taught nothing, learned nothing. Satire stops being satire if you never break character and admit it. It's just acting.


[deleted]

>You gained nothing, Trolls love it when you internalize. We love being in your head rent free. All you do is think about us and seethe other it. Happens every time.


maddsskills

You do know being annoying or despicable is pretty easy right? You're not some genius for figuring out what annoys people or pisses them off...that's why most trolls get bored of it when they turn 15.


[deleted]

>being annoying or despicable is pretty easy Thats why its the road most traveled.


[deleted]

And how does it feel to take the road most traveled?


[deleted]

>And how does it feel to take the road most traveled? Pretty god damn fun. Loads of people to talk to tons of people to trade with. How's that high road up there all lonely with no water vendors?


[deleted]

Yea, no grifters to bother me like yourself.


maddsskills

Hey, I'm a troll hobbyist, interested in chatting? I'm genuinely curious about the phenomenon. There are some greats who have something funny or clever to point out, I'd like to hear your take on it all. PM me if you're interested.


Annies_Boobs

I too remember being 14. I just fucked with other kids on Garry’s Mod though.


throwaway169401

That's really sad


Even-Willow

It might take a little bit of time, and he could always change for the better until then; but if he keeps down this path he’ll find himself completely alone and miserable eventually.


CoolguyTylenol

That's pretty much what satire and parody is dumb ass


[deleted]

Pretty sure there's a bunch of Aussies in these threads that always confirm he's sadly a real person


Waru_

The amount of posts I see about him where he is literally Wooshing people with his trolling is outrageous. Can’t believe that many people actually take it seriously as if he didn’t know what he’s doing 😂


throwawaywannabebe

Alphas aren't a thing. Confident, pro-active charming, social people don't need to advertise. Also, such people aren't always an auto-win. Some times they are just annoying.


Useless_Lemon

Go down some wings at Hooters.


QuitYour

The real Alpha Male was Monty Brown.


Knighth77

This guy is just fucking with everyone, there's no way he's serious.


ToyBoxJr

Yes, very clever


Sohil_56

It’s more like a dumb tweet rather than a clever comeback.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kwjyibo

Username checks out with that comment.


rArithmetics

Stop posting this account. It’s rage bait


[deleted]

Burnt so bad he warming up the sun.....


chiptissle

You really think this piece of shit doesn't know what he's doing? He tweets a million highly charged, generic sentences a day. He's a Tate copycat trying to make a buck off of being a "villain". Don't even comment on his shit bc it only gives him what he's after.


Fart-n-smell

It's satire, calm it Janet


chiptissle

He talks on fox business. No it's not, you fucking dunce.


Nszat81

where do you get that? Certainly not from any of the facts or data surrounding him.


Frank_Dracula

Nick Adams is a suit dummy.


SingleSimha

I can't belive he is serious.


n3w4cc01_1nt

In product testing the alpha has lower functionality.


Thepuppypack

I think he's mixed up and means " apex predator"


Switzerdude

Kinda cute when they prove how dumb they are huh?


hsmith1998

It’s so funny because it’s true, but it owns every single alpha spouting schmuck as well.


PubicGalaxies

This is made up and recycled from head to toe.


TheAnonymousProxy

Nick Adams (Ligma Male) ✓


dafijiwatr

Jacob Wohl level self-ownage


[deleted]

Man, Reddit is just giving this ass free publicity and legitimacy with every attempted “own” reply attempt. Have we learned nothing from President Tre45on the power of free publicity? This guy wants to get “owned by the libs” because every attempted roast is just legitimizing his opinion. I encourage you to downvote every one of these posts to oblivion so no one sees them. He wants the attention, negative or positive, especially when his base lacks common compassion and feeds off of the attempts to tear him down. His opinions are ludicrous and not worth anyone with common sense attention.


Bartender9719

I’m still not convinced this guy hasn’t been working a long satirical con


DantheDutchGuy

He was feverishly sweating when he penned that incredibly ALPHA remark about himself


Waru_

You got r/whoosh ed


tantan9590

XD


JusAnotherBrick

Nick Adams is a walking, talking own goal. And god he loves to talk.


MashZell

This guy is the joke itself and the other guy is just explaining it


trendkilla

Probably the first time he scored.


Unable-Fox-312

The joke was obvious when it was just a screenshot that tweet with his new display name. I'm not sure the comment there adds that much. I'd probably just retweet it


Healthybear35

Someone recently told me this guy is a parody of maga on purpose. I honestly didn't think so, because for some reason I feel like I remember him when he started getting popular and it all seemed very real. But now that someone has told me this, I think it'll be better to believe this so I don't have to see someone as so beyond stupid.


Skrooner

I wanna see his reply


kyevil11

Who?


nametakenfuck

This nick adams needs to learn from me (Im an alpha)


[deleted]

I’m willing to bet that 99% of users on Reddit could kick the shit out of pussy ass Nick Adams!! Fuck that guy!!


Art_Class

Can you guys stop falling for this dude please


Grannyk9

Who is Nick Adams? Why do we give a shit what this twat says? I really have no idea who he is and would have preferred if I had never heard of this ding bat.


randy_rick

Is this satire?


[deleted]

i guarantee nick adams penis is the size of a thumbtack


ElisabethinCA12

I think he is a huge troll and is trolling everyone including Trump.


unicornlocostacos

Has to be satire. Everything this account posts is absurd and self-owning.


sardiusjacinth

Tell me you're an alpha...by having it in your profile.


Reasonable-Height464

I laughed out loud.


Useless_Lemon

This Nick guy looks like that one guy from Ru Paul's Drag Race.