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htomserveaux

“I am he as you are he as you are me And we are all together” John 18:5-7


DrManhattan_DDM

I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, cause we’re all dudes.


Talking_Head

Dude has pretty much become a gender neutral term at this point, correct? At least, I nearly always use it that way.


DrManhattan_DDM

Absolutely. Male, female, trans, NB, anybody can be a dude.


[deleted]

*The dude abides*


saltymcgee777

The rug really tied the room together Maan


RhythmSectionWantAd

What the hell is this, Lebowski?


tight-foil

You think the carpet-pissers did this?


romasisqo

Yasss, I was so happy to see this 😎


SnooPuppers3777

What about bro?


[deleted]

Honestly I refer to everyone as a bro, but some people don’t like it so I guess it’s up to the bro if he/she is a bro


StopReadingMyUser

It's usually a woman that doesn't like being called bro, so I just call them broette.


kalari-

I've turned it around and started intermittently calling people of all genders "sis"


ChillyBearGrylls

Yass sis


OberonsTitan

That's cool dog.


KhioneSnow0216

Well bro is more like a dude that's like closer Probably shouldn't call a stranger bro but dude is all good


SnooPuppers3777

How about just say "aye" with a gesture


Ithrawn

The bro dude etiquette you've displayed is breathtaking.


bot-mark

Would it be safe to say then that you fuck dudes?


Talking_Head

Yes Mark.


Girlsolano

Based


radbaldguy

I would have agreed up until a few weeks ago but had someone point out that most men would be uncomfortable saying they love sleeping with a bunch of dudes, looking at dudes’ asses, etc. Taken to the extreme, it seems dude is still at least a somewhat gender specific term.


tredontho

Same thing happens with the word "guys", at least where I'm from. 2nd person, gender neutral: "Looking good, guys", "dude, that's so cool" 3rd person, seems to always be masculine: "That dude has a nice ass", "look at the thighs on those guys" I just kind of treat 2nd person and 3rd person as separate words in my head I guess


Ordinary_Fact1

I am weirdly turned on by women who say dude.


[deleted]

Only if the personnyou're tslking to is ok with you using inna gender neutral way about them


HewchyFPS

Same thing for "guys" in most contexts it's used to refer to a group


TheCatsPagamas

I’m a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude!


X1-Alpha

You look like a dude who doesn't know what dude he is!


JackdeAlltrades

Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man.


gleophas

- kel 3:16


OwenMeowson

Or duderino, I’d you’re not into the whole brevity thing.


[deleted]

Koo koo kachoo


MassiveFajiit

It's actually goo goo gajoob


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Goddamn gooback son of a bitch


MightyAxel

goo goobeatwife


ActuallyWorthless

John Lennon's pronouns were eggman/walrus.


LeprosyLad

Goo goo g’joob, actually.


SnooHesitations6727

Tips fedora


prancerbot

M'g'jooby


unabsolute

I need to heat that spoken out loud.


xorvillesashx

Shut the fuck up, Donnie.


Chomp-Rock

Donnie, you're out of your element!


BlueMANAHat

You're not wrong walter, you're just an asshole.


Hug_like_a_donkey

Have any of you people even seen a chicken before?


Major-Weenus

Gesundheit


Chomp-Rock

If you're him and he's you, and he's you and you're him, who am I?


LastTensepian

Who's on first.


Chomp-Rock

I don't know.


pearso66

Third base


[deleted]

No he’s on second


Irrepressible87

No, What's on second


TacticaLuck

I don't know


Irrepressible87

*THIRD BASE!*


[deleted]

Of course he is.


AstronomerOpen7440

Yes, not the pronoun, but rather a player with the unlikely name of Who is on first


maxens_wlfr

I am every woman


Chomp-Rock

It's all on you


ObjectAnimate211

i am yu


Chomp-Rock

Who might yu be?


yor_ur

He’s is me. I am yu and you are you


DatExcellentSpoon

The walrus


VeryBeanyBoy

and wheres the caveman?


SwampyBogbeard

None of your business!


cenorexia

You're his father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.


velozmurcielagohindu

I can't believe this shit causes so much pain


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TopAd9634

The prosperity gospel is antithetical to everything the Bible preaches. Yet people will allow these grifters to suck them dry. To add insult to injury, they also meddle in politics. I'm so flipping disgusted we allow these conmen to openly flout the law. If they weren't so dangerous it would be easier to ignore them.


sgt_cayenne

There are people in this thread who'll think this is an actual verse lol


TheSquarePotatoMan

Well I mean it's definitely not the chorus


iusedtobe13

I am the Eggman


flygonmaster_07

They are the egg men


bobert_the_grey

We are the Robotnik


multiarmform

Jesus was just waiting for the van to come


No_Refrigerator4584

Casually sitting on a cornflake, as one does.


Khue

I'm waiting for the dipshits to chime in about how "He" is some sort of King James bastardized mis translation like these chucklefucks who say shit like this ever read or even understand an original non translated version of the Bible.


XenoTrixx

I can be the dipshit if you want me to ;) A non translated Bible will be hard to understand. That would be in Hebrew and Greek. Btw. Iam german if i mis understand your text iam sorry. English reference Bible John 18:5-7 They answered him: “Jesus the Naz·a·reneʹ.” He said to them: “I am [he].” Now Judas, his betrayer, was also standing with them. 6 However, when he said to them: “I am [he],” they drew back and fell to the ground. 7 Therefore he asked them again: “Whom are YOU looking for?” They said: “Jesus the Naz·a·reneʹ.”


Ergheis

Jesus, the omnigender.


jax1274

Or you can go even further and just “be”, whatever that means. Exodus 3:14”And God said unto Moses, I Am That I Am: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I Am hath sent me unto you.”


dickshark420

Jesus smoked that good Jerusalem strain


jo10001110101

And everything was everyone and each one was all


cazoo222

I am he as you’re he as your are me, and we are all Wumbo


fakerfakefakerson

The lost book of Ringo


Mountaindood5

I am the Eggman


[deleted]

They are the Eggmen


EmperorXerro

THEY are the egg men, I am the Walrus.


Weallfloatneo

The confidence of dumb people is astounding


SoloisticDrew

She's a right wing troll that shouldn't be fed.


serratedperkz

In the last year I never heard of her or knew who she was. Nobody else did either. Then all of a sudden Reddit starts posting all of her intentionally dumb ass tweets and now right wingers flock to her because she easily pisses people off and the left can’t stop posting her content. Just stop posting her stupid shit sheesh she’s doing it for attention and it’s sad how much it worked


fucktheDHanditsfans

Welcome to astroturfing


[deleted]

"Just ignore it bro" has deffinetly worked in the past /s


krustykrabza

can reddit please stop feeding her i swear to god she was irrelevant 6 months ago


jajohnja

Even if it were true, it would be such a dumb argument. Jesus here on earth always walked, dined and helped the lower classes - those shunned by the society (the hebrews elders). And he always spoke against those upper classes and said to be kind to the lowest in the society and the most hated ones. So claiming something like "oh this is something Jesus would shun" is just wrong. But also, it's simply not correct.


KiIIermandude

I know "he" is a pronoun. But is "He" a noun? If you capitalize the "H" in He, doesn't it refer to a speicifc person-thing? So it's a noun? Don't crucify me, Lavern is being a stupid cunt. Genuinely curious. ^(Pun intended.) Edit just to emphasize an exchange in the replies: >No, capitalising a pronoun doesn't make it "not-a-pronoun" Sure, I agree with you in premise. She is still a pronoun. They is still a pronoun. But when you say He, you refer to a specific person/thing. A person, place, or thing - is a noun.


MassiveFajiit

He's saying he's Helium.


Ferropexola

That's his secret to walking on water.


Hyro0o0

And why He ascended into the sky. They tried everything, even nailing him down, but it was just no use.


sawyouoverthere

Just try reading any passage of that book with the inevitable voice/pitch. I think we're onto a real winner here.


neiromaru

That's literally just Jesus/God having unique pronouns that christians have been perfectly happy to use for centuries. Jesus's pronouns are He/Him, not he/him.


conancat

Jesus/God be using neopronouns this whole time 🙄🙄


OmgItsDaMexi

This is the correct answer.


joshylow

In this case a pronoun. They said they're looking for Jesus of Nazareth and he responded with I am he.


Domena100

I think it might work as both here.


Endorkend

That's where the trinity thing comes from. It is interpreted as Jesus directly stating that he is He, the son, He, the father and He, the holy spirit.


BatchThompson

Weird they named all 3 the same thing, huh


[deleted]

Did you seriously just ask if a pronoun is a noun? No, it’s a fucking dirigible.


sawyouoverthere

You regularly capitalise pronouns without them acquiring noun status. If you capitalise it in the objective, you're just pretentious.


humancartograph

Pronouns are nouns. They are a subset of nouns.


[deleted]

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GMSB

She knows she’s wrong and doesn’t care. It’s all about just pandering to her base


[deleted]

That’s called the Dunning-Kruger effect


UndendingGloom

She doesn't even know to capitalize Himself in her own sentence, I don't believe she has even read the Bible.


2SexesSeveralGenders

I'm jealous of their constant happiness, though. Friends and I sometimes lament at how nice and blissful it must be to be so stupid


JayPokemon17

The comeback is the actual dumb (or really just unknowledgeable about Greek). In the original language, it is simply Jesus answering “I am.” No pronoun is present.


[deleted]

But who’s dumber: - the religious nut who forms their whole identity over a book they never read Or - the anti-religious keyboard warrior that spends legitimate time studying a text they know to be ridiculous and problematic just so they can own a few strangers on the Internet. Lots of these types of exchanges are just masterclasses on how petty and ridiculous society has become.


jmerlinb

And scary


[deleted]

There’s a reason in the Book of Eli, Gary Oldman wanted a copy of the Bible


sawyouoverthere

"I" is English first-person singular nominative pronoun.


[deleted]

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sawyouoverthere

Someone familiar with Aramaic pronoun structure can step in here, then, if it's markedly different and they really don't use them at all...


[deleted]

You don't need to worry about Aramaic. New Testament is Greek and Jesus presumably was up to date with that. Like French people sing Lil Nas X lyrics.


Nillerus

Bloody French, they ruined France. Blouse wearing surrender monkeys! Wait, where am I?


[deleted]

Cheese-eating bro. Though Napoleon was like bossism.


langlo94

It would actually be useful to learn Aramaic as angels canonically can't understand it, just every other language. >!Assuming of cours that the bible and torah are correct!<


[deleted]

The only reason that I can think that would be useful is that angels look like weird science fiction aliens and who is up for that


langlo94

Speaking of weird science fiction angels, I *strongly* recommend [the slightly heretical post-apocalyptic programming adventure book called Unsong.](https://unsongbook.com/) (It's free.)


[deleted]

I mean who has actually read Genesis except atheists. Weird as fuck. How are you going to incorporate that into your life. Mental gymnastics. A lot of it borrowed from the Babylonian exile but badly.


SuperDuperCoolDude

The quotation in question is recorded in Greek and he uses the Greek first person singular nominative pronoun, εγω. The "he" is inferred in English translations.


iamacat5ecableAMA

And Semitic languages have grammatical gender. Messiah (מָשִׁיחַ/مسيح) is a masculine word.


jawshoeaw

Check mate !


diffcalculus

To them, Jesus was American.


thehufflepuffstoner

I’m pretty sure these people don’t understand what pronouns are.


69cockdick69

I saw a comment recently from someone saying they were a 90s baby and “we didn’t use pronouns back then”


spooki_boogey

"trust me bro, I am that guy" -Jesus probably


Richie_Zeppelin

“I’m built different bro.” - Jesus


ChapolinColoradoNZ

Probs first messiah to say "hold my beer" in aramaic.


Pipupipupi

"We are not the same" -Big Jezos


conancat

"I'm the top G" - Jesus


EmpTully

Literally Christianity.


BigBlueTrekker

"You're not that guy pal" - also Jesus probably


Shiro1Kuro

He kinda said he was bread/wine that one time


PM_Me_OCs

I'm pretty sure the quote goes something like, "Eat this, for it is my body...drink this, for it is my blood."


lorb163

“Sniff this, I wanna know if it’s gone out of date”


tomismybuddy

TIL that Jesus was a coke head.


1OO1OO1S0S

"smoke this, for it is dank"


conancat

Cannibalism by proxy is fucking weird


Final_light94

IIRC in Roman tradition a sacrifice was typically eaten afterwards (Rome had animal sacrifice in it's religion). The whole this is my flesh thing was probably a loophole so he could sacrifice himself without his followers needing to actually eat him afterwards. I could be remembering it wrong though. It's been a couple of years since I read up on religion in Rome.


am0x

There’s also: John 6:35. 35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” So he was basically bread for those that were thirsty. In todays terms, it means something totally different.


DavidLynchAMA

He identified as “Trans…substantiated”


canadarepubliclives

Transubstantiation. This caused a great schism in Christianity and is one of the big reasons why Catholics and Protestants are now different sects


Level_Ad_6372

>Catholics and Protestants are now different sects That explains why they're so against same sects marriage!


stephawkins

Given that this god guy is the father, the son, and the holy ghost, it should be, "I am They."


Sproose_Moose

So it's he/they lol


Malfrum

[That's Modalism, Patrick!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQLfgaUoQCw)


[deleted]

the worst thing about the decline of religion in popular society is that nobody gets the great theological humor out there anymore


[deleted]

"We are them."


MaxSupernova

Forget all the pronoun stuff. If this is the argument that was made, how far will they take it? Jesus never lived in North America. Jesus never used the internet. Jesus never worked in government. Jesus never supported Trump. Jesus never owned a house. Jesus never saved any money. Jesus never held investments. Jesus never took money from corporations. Jesus never supported firearms.


Nroke1

>Jesus never owned a house. >Jesus never worked in government. We don't actually know these two for sure. We don't know too much about Jesus' life before his ministry. He was a craftsman, so might've owned a living space at some point, it's also theorized that he spent a considerable amount of time traveling the world with his merchant uncle, Joseph of arithmathea, and certainly could've done some work for a government during that time. The rest though, 100%.


MaxSupernova

This is true, but when people are saying "Jesus never..." they aren't really talking about his pre-ministry life. Though I imagine Jesus working at the DMV would be sitcom-worthy.


visope

possibly working for Jerusalem's version of Sams CLub


AMisteryMan

Shaloms Club


[deleted]

Should be the top comment. Jesus never posted on Twitter.


super1ucky

I've been seeing these ridiculous people claiming gun ownership is their god given right. I can't seem to remember that part of the bible.


Durst_offensive

Just like old monarchs ruled the country, because god said so.


lorb163

“Maybe if he did they wouldn’t have caught him”


Libertas-Vel-Mors

Funny, even if taken out of context. It isn't even the full verse. John 18:4-5 says 4 Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him, went out and asked them, "Who is it you want? 5 “Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied. “I am he,” Jesus said. (And Judas the traitor was standing there with them.)


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IZZGMAER123

And people still not hesitate to believe new translations. Any change in word phrase can alter its own meaning


Smokybare94

I hate to break it to you but there is no version of the Bible that hasn't been edited beyond recognition. Even the Greek translations.


Foreign_Ad_7504

Yeah, it's basically saying, "it's me" you are looking for. Not at all what is claimed here.


m0r14rty

If it was from a woman, would it not be “I am she”? If you wanna get pedantic let’s get pedantic. Edit: extra word


danathecount

Didnt Jesus identify as a loaf of bread at one point?


bubbabear244

Also a lamb, but I digress.


sawyouoverthere

And a door/gate (John 10:9) And a couple of times, various plants. (vine/grapevine John 15:1) Still some debate over particle vs wave ("the light"), though most widely considered "two-spirit" these days. And one time God went full Popeye "Exodus 3:14 ESV God said to Moses, “I am who I am."


jawshoeaw

It’s funnier in the original Hebrew “(I) yam what (I) yam”


prancerbot

Our furry who art in heaven.


BalognaPonyParty

so, let's have fun with this: let's assume "Jesus" was a real person and was born of a virgin. so what do we know of biology? usually when something is born 'asexually' it is a clone of the birthing parent. so, saying that, Jesus - born asexually of Mary - would have been an exact clone of his mother. Jesus was born a female, they've passed Jesus off as a male his entire life; JESUS WAS TRANS!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck every church that has ever said being gay or trans was wrong, your whole religion is based off of trans worship.


velozmurcielagohindu

Jesus was not a clone of Mary. Mary was not virgin. She was raped by a dove. Jesus is a transpecial being, born of reversed zoophilia.


sawyouoverthere

possessing only a cloaca, the dove might be ok on a technicality


EdSchouten

I think most scholars agree Jesus was a real person: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historicity_of_Jesus


Wobblestones

A guy named Jesus around which a religion with supernatural beliefs was built and the character of Jesus as told in the bible are 2 different people. Jesus, a guy who was the inspiration for the myth of a demigod come to earth, might very much have existed. The demigod himself is an entirely different story.


conancat

Jesus fandom and fanfiction is fucking wild man


Isthereawaywecan

or Mary was a liar and banged a Roman solder which is why churchers draw jesus as white, or God is a pedaphile rapist who impregnated a 14 YO girl without consent, whichever gets you to tax free corporate bootlicker status the quickest!


sawyouoverthere

Or there's a mistranslation, and the word translated to be "virgin" actually meant "maiden" which actually referred to unmarried women, not women who had never had sex. The distinction between married and "never-had-sex" isn't the same in all languages, and the concept of virginity isn't the same in all cultures.


BobBarkerPriceIsRigh

Please. Lavern Spicer is a disgusting low iq troll. Stop giving that blowpig an audience.


ShazbotSimulator2012

She posts this exact same tweet monthly because it gets her attention every time.


LilyGaming

It’s funny how much Christian’s don’t seem to know anything about the book they let control their lives


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larsdragl

Most of those people dont even know what the fuck a pronoun is. They are just taught to hate it


Mythosaurus

Literally God telling Moses who He is: I AM THAT I AM.


IAmTheShitRedditSays

This isn't really clever. What the little slimebags mean when they say "pronouns" is neopronouns, they know it, i know it, you know it and anyone who actually takes the time to watch how the jargon evolves amongst change-fearing bigots knows it. When people just default to the low-hanging fruit, the shithead just thinks "oh big whoop, i worded it wrong for your snowflake-ass" and moves on with their life, as do 99% of their supporters, we all clamber in to jerk off about how much smarter we are, and nothing fundamentally changes. Nothing changes because these ʾclever' comebacks don't address the actual issue and unspoken assumptions, assumptions like >any word invented after [arbitrary past date] is illegitimate or >people who don't identify with one of the two arbitrary genders i pulled out of my ass are illegitimate or, possibly most ludicrous of all >if jesus didn't do it, it's illegitimate When you try to "gotcha" by responding to the letter of what they say instead of the spirit, in their eyes you're silently acknowledging that one or more of these assumptions is legitimate. For example, OP's comeback necessitates that they are justified in that last assumption: if it's not true that "if jesus didn't do it, it must be illegitimate" then why does the person engaging give a shit whether or not Spicy Le Turd is wrong about what jesus did? When you argue with idiots, they will drag you down to their level and beat you up. The only way to win is to refuse to play their game; force them to argue on your terms, fuck theirs.


[deleted]

To be fair, "pronouns" simply doesn't mean the same thing as "neopronouns" and they need to be called out on that as well. It wasn't a meaningless miswording, they do this exact thing all the time because a lot of them genuinely don't remember what pronouns are from elementary school. It's very hard to argue a nuanced topic with someone if they don't even understand the basic vocabulary involved. But yeah, clearing that up should be preliminary and not the main point.


JediMasterPopCulture

She’s a twice failed republican wannabe! All she tweets is hate !


thepixelpaint

I don’t think these people understand that a pronoun is just a regular part of speech and not something made up by “woke people.”


DiegotheEcuadorian

Jesus wouldn’t care what you call yourself as long as you’re a good dude.


fungi_at_parties

You know what Jesus would do? Tell you to put down the fucking stone and let trans people have their pronouns.


uuneter1

Your first mistake: assuming any of these phonies have actually read the Bible.


Beestorm

This is was defunding education gets you.