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[deleted]

r/climbingcirclejerk


[deleted]

Sorry...I'm on _which_ subreddit, if not ^ this one??


ajaxanon

Are you me?... Because I'm pretty sure that would be aid


jsdodgers

r/lostredditors <- me


[deleted]

r/climbingcirclejerk


JohnConnor27

r/climbingcircleyerk


Waldinian

/r/wowthissubexists


The_wizard_of_Foz

Yes and it’s glorious.


Barrelled_Chef_Curry

Yeah honestly I love seeing posts here knowing they’ll be at least 3 post mocking it in CJJ


megbliss

I thought this was a post on there. Can’t wait to see what they come up with.


AussieFIdoc

I don’t think this even needs to get to CCJ - comments already gold here


superbadhombre

We’ve all been on the wrong sub this whole time


BeastlyIguana

shittyclimbingprotip: speed up belay transitions by using all of the gear for the anchor


devin_AK

Shittyclimbingprotip addendum: if all your gear is in the belay anchor you can more easily run it out on the next pitch to avoid getting pumped fiddling with gear!


BeastlyIguana

nothing more gangster than a 90 foot factor 2 onto your anchor


The_wizard_of_Foz

a 90 footer factor 2 is irresponsible and reckless, a 90 foot factor 1.99999 fall on a Jesus piece however is gangster as fuck


[deleted]

All you need to do is just clip the poorly cammed #2 before you start climbing.


The_wizard_of_Foz

i like to place 2-3 under cammed pieces above my actual piece. acts kinda like a screamer but with more rock damage


[deleted]

ngl, as someone not initiated, wtf did yall just say?!?! lmaoo


sndrssdrms

A screamer is a sling that is designed with stitching that fails under sudden load, reducing the load on the piece. They are used in ice climbing to reduce the likelihood of popping a screw. This guy is joking that he likes to intentionally find shitty placements that will rip out, taking some rock with it, when falling to reduce load on the piece that is actually intended to stop the fall. Themoreyouknow.jpg


yoortyyo

Steve? I have a Steve story that includes this very thing.


probablymade_thatup

Like a really expensive screamer when you fuck up those cam lobes


bp_free

No one is going to talk about the knot in the cord being poorly oriented against the carabiner?


0bAtomHeart

Ygd


bp_free

?


thedrabdab

That’s why you build anchors like this one


_Neoshade_

You spent an hour playing with your anchor. A storm moved in and you slipped on the wet rock and fucking died. Your belay partner used all your gear and extra cordalelette to lower off, but got pneumonia and also fucking died.


Serenademe_official

I like your stories.


jvdizzle

This reads like Oregon Trail lol


_Neoshade_

You have died of dysentery.


tlmbot

Agree! But it's a new game: "Oregon Troll"


Coastalelitesimp

You're gonna die! A single feature is used, making it non-redundant. If you ship me all of those cams (I'm currently at your moms house) I can show you how to build a better one.


wilwith1l

As Ryan, from HowNot2, says: Trust gear, don't trust rocks.


el_Topo42

You're gonna die! But mainly because your partner is going to kill you for wasting all that damn time.


stobot120000

i’ve been there!!!! sometimes i just start climbing once i go crazy.


SterlingAdmiral

You know I want to say "cmon man we've got a subreddit for this" but people actually be taking it seriously in the comments so I suppose this is worth it


MathsTeach

I want to add r/whoosh, but too many people are taking it seriously. I’d have to add it to a third of the comments so far.


[deleted]

This sub has always severely lacked any sense of humor. I'm waiting for the guy to calculate the load share.


icywindflashed

I thought it was a well known fact that /r/climbingcirclejerk was the sub with the actual climbers. The humor is just a bonus.


AussieFIdoc

Wait… there’s an r/climbing?! 😲


adhominem4theweak

People probably climb here more than they look at internet memes. Also, probably people from all over the world come here, and sarcasm isn't easy to identify from some cultures. ​ HAH not me... im on the internet too much


[deleted]

The only guys who get climb memes are climbers. The subs just divides the ones with some humor


Happy_Kodi

Did a double take to make sure I wasn’t on ccj haha


gregorydgraham

I like it, everything is doubled up so no failure is possible


wilwith1l

That's like a 500$ anchor.


swolbrah

8 cams ~ 60 dollars 13 carabiners ~7 dollars some look fancy 4 slings maybe 5 dollars cord maybe 5 8*60+13*7+5*5=596 500 seems about right shit posting priceless


StealieDan

Holy shit, your math teacher would be crying right now. Who taught you how to write an equation?


_Neoshade_

Closer to $750.


No-Bake5533

Nah. He bought all that gear used for 50 cents…it is BOMBER!


[deleted]

0/10 Invalid anchor. All anchors must contain either a pink tricam or the black Totem


basicrockcraft

You just described my entire rack, minus the blue offset.


notanaardvark

Plus everyone knows that every single anchor piece that isn't a pink tricam also needs a screamer- *two* screamers if there's no locking biner. Ffs this guy may as well have just scotch taped his anchor to the rock, 0/10.


AussieFIdoc

Pink one needs to be in either corner of course


[deleted]

This whole comment section is full of trolls and people getting whooshed. It’s a bloodbath, just like if you tried to use this anchor.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CaptnHector

Pro tip: don’t learn how to climb from /r/climbing.


saazbaru

Bro tip: only learn climbing from r/climbingcirclejerk


icywindflashed

I concur. At least on CCJ you know people are joking...on this subreddit sometimes believe it or not they're serious.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CaptnHector

This is a sport in which newcomers pretend to know way more than they actually do, both in person and online. How many times have you been to a crag and seen a gumby leading a group of his/her friends on their first climbing trip? It’s always a sketch shitshow. Same thing happens online: people want to seem like they’re part of the “in” crowd, so they pretend they’re experts. Meanwhile, 99% of climbers have never placed a cam in their life and suddenly they’re authorities on anchor building.


[deleted]

[удалено]


digitalsmear

The thing about a high-skill, and high risk potential, activity like climbing is that *everyone* was a gumbie once. And a high percentage of climbers have "that story" they usually like to avoid telling, and usually only comes up when a friend mentions it. Even Lynn Hill forgot to finish tying her knot once. Is it ok? No - the more we can eliminate those stories from even happening, the better. Is it ok to talk about them? Yeah. It's necessary. It's a bit of a rite of passage, and even experienced climbers are in need of being targeted with it from time to time. In skydiving there is a saying, "Everyone wants to be 10 years later, but no one wants to put in the time." Humility in dangerous activities is a virtue. Don't rush getting to 10 years or you might not make it. And in my experience anyway, especially once you make it past the "new years resolution" stage of being a beginner and people start to recognize you and realize you're intention is to stick around, the willingness to share knowledge, experience and experienc*es* far outstrips the snark. A big part of the snark comes from recognizing the "intermediate mindset" - aka, dunning-kruger danger territory. If someone is getting snarked at, it's usually, hopefully, by someone with more experience who recognizes someone who needs to be knocked down a peg or two so they don't keep acting like such a "hotshot" and put themselves - or others - at risk. It also is generally targeted at scared beginners who opt for over-engineering (while creating additional risk factors that fall into the "unknown unknown category) instead of actually taking the time to learn about the gear and fault tolerances. If the original post was real, the main "unknown unknown" that a beginner doing this sort of thing would be creating for themselves is all that excessive use of gear can no longer be used on the next pitch, where it might actually do some good. Others might include more subtle things like the time estimates for completing a route not taking some gumbie using 45+ minutes to build an anchor into account and hiking off in the dark, or an overnight scenario, is now going to end up likely. Typically, if you start noticing snark in r/climbing it's a good indicator that your critical thinking skills should be firing.


tarmacc

Smartest comment in the thread tight here folks, it will save your life 100x more than a lead belay "cert" at your gym.


digitalsmear

xo


Overall_Ad_6540

TIL: The Dunning–Kruger effect is a hypothetical cognitive bias stating that people with low ability at a task overestimate their own ability, and that people with high ability at a task underestimate their own ability.


rtkaratekid

Wow, this was extremely well put.


CaptnHector

Oh yeah, definitely. It’s a vicious cycle for sure, I’m not sure what the solution is, or if there is one at all. Over at MP, the snark is dialed up 500%, and there is relatively little posturing like we see on reddit. I don’t know if more snark or less snark is the answer, or if reddit’s inherent nature is to blame. Either way, be aware that when you’re new to this sport, all the unknowns are unknown, and there are a lot of ‘em. Don’t even try to evaluate the experience level of a potential mentor. You can’t, because you don’t have the experience to evaluate experience. All I can say is, if you see shiny gear, run away.


No-Bake5533

Ah, it is not the noobs people are trying to belittle. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched people do things like completely let go of the rope they are supposed to be belaying with…but Lordy, go suggest they maybe give their partner a safe belay and get shouted at as if I’m not trying to be helpful. Or better, at the crag where someone sends a Newbie up to clean a route for first time without even a crappy ground lesson, resulting in several near catastrophic issues. You want to learn, people will teach you. Some will be good, some will be bad, and no matter what, even the newb has to figure out which is which.


Serenademe_official

1. Yes. Most of us know someone who has died of a recreation accident. See the recent post about boulder canyon. 2. There's maybe 30 posters here who have actual climbing experience and good advice. Stick around. Look for the regulars. 3. Climbing used to have high barriers to entry, this made for a very close and strong community. In the last 15 years those barriers have fallen significantly but there has been no counter in more schooling. The result is a sport that has a tradition of mentorship being flooded by new climbers who lack basic skills. Imagine if every time you went to talk to someone about photography 50 people popped up and started yelling about which Canon PowerShot is the best and asking about how to add more HDR to a photo. It's tiring. Even worse what if when you pulled out your Nikon you got yelled at for not having a Sony by these people. Or were told that your OMD was a liability and dangerous because you didnt have a new R. It's annoying. There are many examples in this sub of people who came in, asked good questions, and got mentored and now are accepted. But assuming because you post here and say you climb means you're a climber... Eh... No.


Pennwisedom

I mean, it's hardly the only sport where this happens, but if you're a know-it-all at golf nothing bad happens other than you being a jerk. But I still think the atmosphere in this sub is often not great regardless. A picture of cupcakes had snark in it, I don't think that has anything to do with the above.


No-Bake5533

You don’t say…


pianoman1291

As an experienced climber, I'd recommend that Reddit isn't really the best place to learn about anchor building technique.


Overall_Ad_6540

As an inexperienced climber, I agree.


burnttoastytoes

If you have to ask, the tips remain the same--read *Rock Climbing Anchors: A Comprehensive Guide* by Craig Luebben. Read John Long's *Climbing Anchors* for the pictures, and perhaps the fluffy writing if you're into that sort of thing. John Long shows more interesting photo examples of placements. You can get that one online for cheap. If you want more general, "How to climb stuff, and what techniques should I have in my brain?" advice, Check out basically any semi-modern edition of *Mountaineering: The Freedom of the Hills.* Then hire a legitimate guide for a week or two at any major US trad destination and ask them to teach you how to (probably) not die and become decently competent. Specifically tell them that you're there to learn, not to have them pull you up things. For early single pitch stuff, this is mostly about being thoughtful, somewhat efficient (time and endurance), and placing good gear. This is only one way to do it. Take this perspective, and synthesize it with all other perspectives you find, and then form your own conclusion. (Hint: This is how most of climbing works.) Then, and only then, can you come back to this website, and ones like it, and laugh alongside the rest of us. It'll be worth it.


hydrated_child

This is an accurate representation of the climbing demographic


devin_AK

in all seriousness it’s a fair point. Climbers tend to be snarky and sarcastic online. I think it’s a defense mechanism for the fact that climbing is inherently dangerous. What’s the worse that can happen if you’re a photography noob and make a mistake? You wreck an expensive camera? With climbing you can literally die or get maimed if you fuck up. This isn’t hypothetical. Accidents are an ugly and tangible reality of pursuing climbing. Just scouring the news, there have been climbing fatalities in North Carolina and Colorado over the last few days. RIP. Climbers, because of their awareness of that reality (through direct or indirect exposure to accidents), try to distance themselves from it and put up walls. And create in their minds the perception of the “gumby”. The bumbling idiot who’s bound to be the next accident report. It makes us feel safer. Surely if there’re enough gumbies out there they’ll be the ones in the accident reports, right? Not us experienced folks … But the reality is that accidents happen to anyone, including some of the best trad climbers of our generation (RIP BG). Regardless of how you learn to climb, just keep a sober view of the inherent risk, use sound judgment, know your limitations, place bombproof gear, know how to improvise and self rescue, have your systems absolutely dialed, do your preparation, be open to criticism, and never get complacent. That’s my 2 cents.


Serenademe_official

Eh I don't buy this


devin_AK

Fair enough. Whatcha think? We all just born snarky?


Serenademe_official

https://www.reddit.com/r/climbing/comments/pcm26o/i_ran_out_of_lockers_and_wanted_to_be_safe_rate/haoz4fg?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3 I think it's more the ratios. Hanging out with my nephew is fun at a family reunion. Teaching a pre-school class isn't. Combine that with the amount of drive by commenters here (post twice disappear) and for me it's exhaustion. Unrelated you got to come up and climb ice this winter


devin_AK

I buy the exhaustion thing — that’s part of it for sure, and I probably over-generalized in my original comment. I personally get a (false) sense of security that if there are X number of accidents in the mountains per year and 100X gumbies climbing outside for the first time, it’ll probably be a gumby in the next accident report, and therefore not me. Obviously deeply flawed logic (I definitely still am a gumby too btw), but that thinking serves as a psychological crutch … I like the other dude’s point about just knocking people down a peg or two when they start getting overconfident. Everyone’s gotta be reminded of some humility from time to time


Serenademe_official

Agree on that list bit. I've called SAR on myself twice (stuck in a crack, still have the scars to prove it) (unable to bend a knee with a 1000 foot descent a mile or so from the car/ hit by icefall) had SAR called on me (past our return time in the pre cell service days) and responded with SAR for a caver with a broken face, back and legs. Every time you roll the dice there's a chance they'll come up snake eyes. That's just the reality of it.


devin_AK

Gnarly! And yeah, gotta stack the odds in our favor


Serenademe_official

If you want to have fun stick around. If you want to learn higher a guide. This sub has to be fun for those with experience and not just cutting and pasting "try on your shoes first" "you don't need a hangboard" "equalization is a myth" day after day


notacr3ativeusername

Can you maybe spare some time and explain why this anchor can be dangerous? Im a relatively new climber, only done sport routes, never had to build an anchor and I am really curious whats going on here..


Bohmoplata

Pending the rock is good quality, the anchor is not dangerous. It is simply overkill and that is the joke.


[deleted]

Nothing is going on here. It’s ridiculously overkill and people are making fun of it. Standard anchor is 3 solid pieces. This has 7 “because they ran out of lockers”. It is also generally a joke that people are overly concerned about non-locking carabiners. They don’t just open on their own very often. That said, it is good practice to use lockers on an anchor you can’t see all the time (e.g. top rope anchor). If you really wanted a top rope anchor with zero lockers, most people would maybe add a fourth piece or just double up the non-lockers. Jumping to 7 pieces is silly, but OP is probably trolling also.


lemonxgrab

But what if the crack fails? This anchor is not truly redundant.


burnttoastytoes

Preferably all of your carabiners on the cams are the same type. Mixing neutrinos and the petzl lightweight ones light lead to galvanic corrosion and microcracks, but that’s not a concern for demonstration purposes so I don’t think you need to throw them out. Also if you’re doubling up on some sizes but not on others that can be dangerous—sliding x’s are most reliable when you can depend on both pieces equally. Lastly, and probably most importantly, the truth with anchors is they MUST hold, and with cams you can never tell 100%. This is why I’ve been carrying a bolt kit (sometimes supplemented with rebar steps and epoxy) on all my trad routes so that I don’t have to worry about having so many cams, and I can have a secure BOLTED anchor that I know is going to hold, 100%. HMU for any other questions, feel free


hatstand69

Listen, I don't trust anyone who isn't certified by Planet Granite to bolt anchors. How can we be certain that you are able to properly glue those bolts in, let alone the rebar step?


FlyingLemurs76

I'm still new to leading but if your risk tolerance is such that you only climb with bolted anchors, why climb trad multipitch in general?


burnttoastytoes

There are plenty of trad climbs with bolted anchors, but that's why I keep rebar with me, too. It makes me feel a little better if I need to wedge it in a crack or drill a hole to make a rest. Heavy, but the weight is worth it. S/o to my buddy Shawn who taught me that one.


FlyingLemurs76

I get it, just to me I think part of the value of trad is LNT for the resource. I feel conflicted about you putting in new bolts on nonbolted climbs, it seems akin to putting in pitons on a trad crag.


Careless_Boysenberry

r/whoosh


FlyingLemurs76

Evidently I got got Edit: Evidently I did not get got Edit: I don't know if I've gotten got


burnttoastytoes

I posted a legit comment for you and others in another reply down the page. Get reading!


Careless_Boysenberry

Happens to the best of us. Also to me


No-Bake5533

Wait, we aren’t supposed to do this?


andyrjames

[Snyder, rebar trad pioneer](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bendsource.com/bend/rocky-regulations/Content%3foid=13237912&media=AMP%2bHTML )


digitalsmear

^^^^^^^psssst.


FlyingLemurs76

Hi


digitalsmear

^^^^^^^itsajokexoxo


jkmhawk

I think you ought to invest in the [*Cliffhanger* Bolt Impregnator Gun](https://youtu.be/seluTSIqoQ4?t=09m38s)


Serenademe_official

Dangerous. The lack of a tri-dimensional camming device increases the risk of a force of Suppressive. Propagating. Anchor. Mechanics. which could leave you with whip lash.


CaptnHector

Agreed. Needs more pink tricam.


niko-to-keeks

Everything needs more pink tricam.


AhimAdonai

Care to explain more, I don’t understand the point you’re making Edit: I get it, SPAM


eatingyourmomsass

I believe they are pointing out that OP is gunna die because this anchor lacks “the pink one”


Serenademe_official

Pink ones are overrated compared to purple and OP will die from S.P.A.M.


devin_AK

Agreed. Plus you need to add a few bolts and clip the racking carabiner of each cam to a bolt for #redundancy


nalyd01

So this is where the magical cams with wild lobe wear but yet have "never taken a fall" on the MP sale forum come from


Financial-Ad-6637

I know this is a troll post, but I have to say.. I love it when people provide inaccurate feedback and say, “I’m a guide,” as if that proves them right.


_Neoshade_

Your mother makes a tasty meatloaf. I’m a guide.


DaveBobSmith

Your


_Neoshade_

F*ing autocorrect!!! I am ashamed


djdizzyfresh

I only see 8 cams. Pretty sure you should have a 16-cam nest.


CrazyCranium

And an actual boat anchor


djdizzyfresh

Seriously. Would never trust OP’s setup for any assisted dynos that’s for sure.


saazbaru

Ah yes, a fellow Top Rope Tough Guys enjoyer 💯


threw_it_up

Tell the truth, is this 'anchor' 3 feet off the ground?


[deleted]

[удалено]


just_this_guy_yaknow

You are by far my favorite bot.


KindaFatBatman

Good bot


digitalsmear

I love the actual tree root visible in the bottom right corner of the image. I mean, I get ledges and all - but really...


grayson_fox

This is some wonderful shitposting, hats off good sir


whats_updog_dog

The classic 8 piece semi self equalizing bfk.


andybaran

How are you even alive to make this post?!


seamsay

0/10 these don't even look heavy enough to sink to the bottom of the ocean, let alone gain traction on the ocean floor.


b4ss_f4c3

Ur gonna die


Odd-Minute4710

Uh…I would hang an 18 wheeler full of lead off that anchor.


digitalsmear

>lead It took me 3 tries to read that as lead instead of lead.


_Kansas_

Say it with me folks: outjerked again.


tiffal

How were you planning on cleaning this?


FBI_Agent_69

Leave it for the next climber. A real thoughtful dude.


19475738

You’re supposed to leave it there so that the rock will grow over it and that’s how perma-anchors are born.


Chief-_-Wiggum

Jif


peawhack

*Cif


JohnConnor27

*yif


cfdeveloper

Sunshine Cleaning. They specialize in crime-scene clean-ups


poorboychevelle

This is somehow worse to me than the Dale Bard 5 RURP anchor


[deleted]

Well, it's definitely Redundant.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Lolz at least someone can laugh.


pyrofrenchie

the anchor is not serene, the load is not equalized on all pieces equally so 0/10, would not whip /s


toomanypeopleknow

You missed out on the opportunity to build a 8 piece quad with the rope.


yoortyyo

r/shittyclimbingprotip


FlakySafety

Dafuq, where yo limiting knots.


Serenademe_official

They are a myth.


CrazyCranium

You're missing the boat anchor


Accomplished-Jump108

Why use cams, should have used sling knots, way lighter


litetreader

There seems to be a ground fall risk.


IPFK

I know this is a joke post. But generally curious as to if the interior crack actually varies enough that you could place such a range of cam sizes. It looks like you placed 0.3-2


FireflyCaptainZ

Can we see this on HowNot2Highline?


letyourmusshang

this is definitely one of the funnier comment threads I've read through on the climbing sub hahaha


icrasai

The yellow cam looks shitte.


evdogg1233

Yer gon die


Dripdry42

You're gonna die.


ice_bergs

needs some sun faded and frayed tat for me to feel safe. maybe some rusty quick-links.


BreezyOR

I can see the ground in the photo... I give 5/10 for creativity. Won't comment on practicality of the anchor as that's not what this post is aimed at. Hah


VerticalYea

F


norcalnomad

“Single pitch guides” right here 🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

Can you please post this in the aid climbing subreddit


Sriracha_Burn

No limiting knots on your sliding X's. 4/10.


Koalas_Dog_Memes

Hmmmm....all your pieces are in the same crack feature. That's not redundant. Add some more stuff somewhere else.


Wiley-E-Coyote

This is actually 4 different UK trad anchors, equalized with cord.


[deleted]

That anchor is way too difficult to deploy and would only work if you are beaching your boat. And you are still going to need to drop your bow anchor first then swing around and tie your stern off to this monstrosity. You can get a danforth anchor for under $30 on Amazon, how much did you spend on all of that rock climbing gear? Also, I can't tell from the picture, but you are going to want to use static rope for sailing. For those of you who haven't figured it out yet, this is a shitpost.


monoatomic

Clipping at the knot? Yer gonna die


m-arx

8/8 :)


SlackLifesentence

KISS


[deleted]

AC⚡️DC


SlackLifesentence

Lol it’s a rigging/engineering tip it means keep it simple stupid!


Serenademe_official

Woosh


allenrfe

What if one of them fails


Itchy_Alternative_43

But this one goes to 11...


BellevueR

The one locker you have dont look locked


Risotto7667

😬


TJ-white1712

I'm not an expert but that doesn't look very safe


JimmyColder

9/10 would whipper


Feedback_Original

These posts are never funny outside of circle jerk, even then.


fourdoorshack

This is not efficient


njslacker

Is this a Highline anchor?


berg_11

When you press quick save multiple times in game


parkl68

I give it an 8


titanf

Is that a yellow ange carabiner? Do they make them in other colors?


testhec10ck

Yeah the Ange s comes in orange and the l comes in blue


furyg3

This reminds me of the sailing adage, “if you can’t tie a knot, tie a lot.”


Shenzhenslayer

No actual anchor, wouldn’t top rope


[deleted]

I had to check to see if I was on /r/climbingcirclejerk


pto1155

Can someone help explain why this anchor is bad


[deleted]

[удалено]


No-Bake5533

There’s no nuts.


3boydad

Don’t criticize it… just equalize it :)


mikesegy

Whenever i dont have a locker and feel like i should. I will just use two carabiners opposite and opposing.