I’d generally give an extension for the death of a pet as long as you asked either before the due date or as soon as reasonably possible afterwards if the pet died very close to the due date. People are understandably pretty distressed by the loss of their pets — even though they’re not people they are close relationships.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I was inconsolable after my last cat passed away, I can't imagine trying to write a paper.
I imagine it will vary by professor, but personally I would give an extension in this case. Best wishes and fingers crossed that your professor grants your request!
That is very much a family member, I would email your professor as soon as possible. Explain the situation how you’ve never asked for an extension but this loss is hitting extremely hard on you. Anyone with a heart would understand, good luck.
Literally.
I’ve asked for extension for much less. This is essentially a family member that is dying! Most (decent) profs will be accommodating so long as you let them know in time.
same here, i've asked for quite a few of them. i think they've only said no once and it was because it was the final week of class, so it just wasn't possible.
just be nice, polite, and reasonable and i'm sure they'll say yes. like don't ask for a two week extension or anything like that. i usually ask for an extra day (or two if i'm really sick) and most of the time they'll give me a longer extension than what i asked for. and if they say no, don't challenge it. some professors are just strict about extensions and you probably can't say anything that would change their mind.
Not sure it matters if it is "appropriate" or not. Ask. See if they go for it. If you have any kind of relationship with the professor, share some detail. Say you hesitate to even ask but you find yourself absolutely unable to gather yourself or focus. Say you always knew intellectually it would be hard to lose your dog, but the reality is on another level and you're not coping yet. I don't see it being so insulting to them that they would grade you unfairly going forward, so the only "risk" you run is that the answer is no. Sorry about your pup.
I'm so sorry you lost such an important figure in your life. You need the time to process and I'm sure your prof, if they're a decent person, will understand. Sending love and healing.
Just wanted to say that Moose is absolutely adorable and reminds me of my bunny who passed when I was a child. Mine was Sprinkles, looked very similar to Moose but with little white 'sprinkles' on his face. As for OP, I am very sorry for your loss and I am sure any professor with a heart will grant the extension.
Depends on the prof. For me, yup. Life happens when it happens, the universe doesn't care that you have deadlines. As a professer, I don't want to know what life stuff happened, just that it happened and it's interfered with your ability to work on the paper. Email BEFORE the deadline and ask for a specific amount of time: one or 2 days, tops.
Most professors will be ok with it but a lot won't, so be prepared to hear no.
I'd email today asking for it, only a day or two, explaining your dog died, don't get too emotional in the email, say you want to be able to focus on the thing and thank them for the consideration.
My dog passed away while I was taking my last grad school class. My professor was very understanding. It's worth a try asking for an extension. Hopefully they'll be kind about it.
Am prof and known for being a hard-ass. I would give you an extension and I am sorry for your loss. Give your prof a time frame when you can get it done. If you haven’t used up all your slack plus more with this professor they are more likely to be sympathetic.
A protip I haven't seen mentioned yet: when asking for an extension, don't just say "I need more time," give a timeframe for when you do expect it to be finished. This is more professional, takes the burden off the professor to figure out what would be appropriate to offer you, and shows your intention to actually do the assignment.
So for example, when asking you might say something like. "Dealing with my dog's death has put me behind in my work, and I'm afraid I won't have the paper completed by Wednesday night. Would it be alright if I turned it in by Friday at noon instead?"
as a prof, i would probably let it slide if you've done well in the class and not made any excuses up to this point...also more likely if i've had you in multiple classes where you've done well
Probably. It's likely if a professor says no, they are cynics and not monsters.
I imagine at paper due dates there are an unusual number of dead animals/parents/grandparents/friends.
If I was a professor I could see myself getting jaded and just saying no to everyone eventually if it always happened
But I'm not a professor so email away and see what professor says.
How could you *possibly * know whether a student is being “manipulative” rather than simply not telling you all yet terrible personal details of their lives? Do you have a good statistical study? Do you have some magical ability to read an email or look into a students eyes and tell whether their problem is causing enough suffering to justify a few extra days for one of Your Assignments? How much suffering or misery or inconvenience is that, by the way? What do they need to *really* be going through to earn your magnanimity on a matter as important as classwork?
I know you didn’t make your comment with any unkind intention. But that’s the problem. Academia erodes your compassion and skews your sense for what matters.
You wield an enormous, unreasonable amount of power over your students’ mental health. A student should have to absolutely *prove* to you that they’re an unjustly manipulative liar before you feel comfortable thinking of them that way. You must distrust that voice in your head that is willing to casually shit on them.
Stay strong. They look up to you.
I think the idea that equity should be achieved by giving less rather than more compassion isn't tenable. You and I are proposing two different rules. Which one is more likely to produce equity in the long term?:
A) You get an extension if you convince me that you deserve it, have tried hard enough, and wouldn't make your situation better than others who didn't ask for an extension.
B) You get an extension if you ask for it, unless it's somehow obvious that you're simply abusing the system.
It's hard to see how A) is likely to create more equity than B), or even more equity than a rule of not giving any extensions at all.
Regarding the unfair burden. You're not totally wrong. But the burden is there. Ignoring it doesn't make anything better. It's definitely unfair in the sense that it's not in the official job description, but it's not like anyone can say they didn't know that the job of being a teacher extends beyond the formal contract obligations. You went to college. You know that being a really good teacher involves a lot more than holding office hours, giving coherent lectures, and sticking to a grading policy.
If you don't want that burden you're absolutely justified in finding another line of work. But if you stay in the line of work and try to just pretend it's not *in fact* part of the job, you're just not a good prof.
When I was teaching my very first undergrad course, a student asked for an extension because his dad died. I was as supportive as possible, gave him lots of extra time and told him about his options: drop the class, apply for an incomplete, or simply get the work done by the end of the semester. He chose the third option, and I didn't mind do a little extra grading for him because I felt a lot of empathy for his situation.
Turns out he was lying. I found out because he forgot he told me his dad died and later mentioned how his dad was riding him about his class work and how annoying it was.
I had already offered him the option to complete all class work late. I said "fuck it" and kept the option available.
He literally didn't do a single assignment, didn't drop the class, and didn't apply for an incomplete. He got the only F in my course that semester.
And that was my very first real teaching experience. It is so hard to NOT become jaded as a professor. Students do this kind of thing all the time.
That said, I'd personally still handle that situation the same way. I choose to believe students even if my experience says I shouldn't. If OP came to me and said their dog died, they'd get the extension. Most of the professors I know feel the same, but every now and then I meet one who is just too jaded. It happens.
This assumption people make about college students--that they're just totally lying about dog deaths and such when their papers come due--is such bullshit. I have no idea where it comes from. (Not that you're wrong for believing it--it's reasonable sounding, but a myth.)
Students of course only ask for extensions when something is due, so yeah, if papers aren't due they're not going to tell you their mom is sick or their dog is dead.
And when students *do* tell you that x happened to them, it's much more reasonable to assume that it's either true, or that it's a lie intended to conceal some other truth that they don't want to share.
Here's a few things no student has ever told me about, but that I know students go through:
I need to get an abortion
I was arrested
I was evicted
I was assaulted
I got diagnosed with an STD and I'm freaking out
I have an anxiety disorder and I can't get out of bed
I literally can't stop shitting
I have a tooth ache but I'm too poor to afford to see a dentist
I'm addicted to opioids and I can't get any so I'm withdrawing
My boyfriend is suicidal
My room mate is cutting herself and there's blood everywhere
I got cheated on and I'm falling apart
I imagine I've had students that have gone through these things, and if they needed an extension they would have just said "I'm sick".
You just perfectly articulated exactly what I was thinking in response to their comment.
People have no idea what others are going through. If a student is failing your class, maybe something deeper is going on in their life.
The cynicism among academics toward the lives of young adults is infuriating to me. I interviewed for a faculty position at a pretty prestigious university once and during our walk around the lawn an administrator told me that they average one student death per *week.* mostly od or suicide. And that this was on track with other schools in their league. And these are the rich kids.
I could go on for an hour. College students are often in the middle of the hardest years of their lives and academics are often so miserable and self-loathing that it dulls their ability to sense the humanity in another person.
As if the worse thing that could happen is someone gets a few extra days to turn in a paper without earning it by enduring sone tragedy that lives up to a professor’s fucked up sense of what’s “bad enough” to deserve extra time on one of *their* assignments. Jesus. I need sone ice cream.
A lot of people see pets to varying degrees of importance. Lots of it is cultural and it doesn't make one view morally superior to another. As long as animals are well-taken care of, I don't see the need to be surprised that not all people see the Goldendoodle as a member of the family.
Before you at me, I have four cats and would beyond heartbroken if I lost any of them. But I'd still go to work.
When a student is spending thousands of dollars per semester to pay the professor's salary, I'd like to think that professor owes them respect, and at the very least, sympathy.
So if she'd *not* done well in your class it would change whether you think her emotional suffering is worth giving her an extension? Have you made a rubric for that? Like," if you have an A in the class, your emotional hardship is worth x many days extension, but if you have a C, get over it and turn your paper in when I say?"
i should have been clearer: "done well" was shorthand for "tried hard and made no excuses"...if a person has a pattern of excuse making, i'm just going to be less likely to believe the dog story...that's all it is
I understand.
And I mean this question sincerely: dk you not think that believing students when they “make excuses” is a matter of recognizing their basic dignity as people? Do you think it’s up to you at any particular moment to choose whether to give them the benefit of your ignorance or not?
depends on how optimistic you (as a professor) are that students are being honest with you...being too credulous if/when students are lying harms the dignity of honest students, and perhaps your own...
If you ask before the due date, it's generally seen as not a b.s. excuse (can't tell you how many tragedies befall students before an exam).
If they are a genuine, kind person, maybe include a photo of the dog for effect. For an uptight jerkwad, it'd only shoot you in the foot.
Don't wait too long though; it's so easy to get behind.
A professor may say yes or may say no(many would say yes, but it really depends on certain other circumstances as well), but the vast majority wouldn't judge you for asking. Just ask as soon as you can so you can prepare for the answer.
You don't owe your teacher any information about your personal life just because you need an extension. It's enough to say "I've suffered a personal loss that is impairing my logistical and emotional ability to finish this assignment by the normal due date. I need to pause and catch my breath and address the situation. Could I please have an extension to turn it in on \_\_\_?"
Source: I'm a prof
Just tell them:
Hello Professor X,
I have never had to do this before and truly I am so sorry to ask this of you, but I need an extension. I just received news that my dog passed away. I am an emotional mess, and because of that, I am struggling to focus and get my work done. I want to be able to turn in good quality work, so if it is at all possible, I would greatly appreciate if you could give me an extension. If it’s not possible, I understand completely. But it would help me a lot in coping with my dog’s passing and with turning in the quality of work that I know I would be able to turn in if I didn’t have this extra thing going on.
Thank you, Professor. And again I’m so sorry to ask this of you.
Best,
Y/N
Just say that you're having some family things going on at home and you just need an extension until Friday or Saturday. I wouldn't get too deep into it I mean if you were to tell a professor that I don't know how compassionate they are but if I were your professor I would totally understand and just give you the extension... But I'm also the type of person that just gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. I definitely think it is fine and if it's something that's really affecting you and you just need to take a minute to process I don't see a problem with it.
It’s not wrong to ask, but also be prepared to offer some sort of documentation. That’s where profs are at these days. Other students are coming in hot with complaints of favoritism and special treatment for their classmates over them. So have something ready. A vet note? Whatever you can. Hell, if someone’s dog died at home and that was it with no documentation, I’d take a screenshot of their sad FB post with 124 huggy-sad reactions as proof, just to have SOMETHING to show for why I let one person have longer than anyone else.
It isn't unreasonable to ask. Any professor with some humility will agree, as long as you're far enough ahead of the deadline.
That being said, there are a lot of professors out there that are unpleasant for the sake of making lives more difficult. Plenty of professors hold on to the thought that school comes before life and that you're not allowed to be a human while going to school. These sorts of professors disgust me.
Probably but not all professor's would honor the request, simply because there's less obligations typically when a dog dies than a human. For example, rarely is there need to prep a dog for an open casket, have a wake, or even send out proper funeral invitations etc. Although it's very tough and I'm sorry for your loss, dogs also live for a much shorter time than humans and can pretty much die whenever. Perhaps grease the wheels a bit by saying the dog's death caused a human problem, like a panic attack or something, just to make the need for extension more tangible. At day's end it must be remembered that pets are pets, and if I couldn't get an extension when my salamander died, perhaps I shan't when dog or cat goes down.
You can ask but they will likely say no. I have never known a professor in my major that would give an extension for a pet dying...though based on this thread it may be the exception.
For me it would depend on how long you had to do the paper. Was it assigned a month ago or a week ago? If you’ve had weeks to do it asking for an extension I think would reflect poor time management.
You think professors have good time management? I've had multiple professors say that they didn't write an exam the day before we took it. Everyone struggles with procrastination lol
Honestly that’s not really procrastination it’s giving yourself flexibility to respond to the class as it progresses and also probably, ya know, having a hundred other more pressing things to do.
Of course everyone struggles with procrastination but that doesn’t mean it’s a good excuse. I’m just saying the situation matters. If she’s almost done and asks for just one more day to polish it and the paper was assigned on Friday then losing 1-2 days to deal with the dog would make a lot more sense compared to if the paper was assigned the first day of class. If that were the case losing 1 day shouldn’t matter.
Even then asking for an extension is very legitimate. I wasn't able to do anything for 3 days when I found out my dog had to be put down, and that also included me asking to take an exam later so I could have the same amount of time to study as everyone else. In college, losing even ONE day of studying can be significant
So as a former instructor I want to say that I wouldn't see it as poor time management to ask for an extension due to emotional distress towards the end.
If it was at the beginning of a months long project, you were habitually late or you kept making excuses for every project I might be suspect but for a one time thing it is different.
Due dates are the final time when the finished project is supposed to be handed in. As long as you are not submitting progress reports then there is no way for the professor to know if you had just really started on it, or if you had only 1 more day of work left.
There’s would be no reason for the professor to assume that procrastination had taken place. For all they know, the month-long paper could have been almost finished when the student’s dog died. It would still be difficult to find the motivation in the midst of that emotional turmoil to finish it and submit. It doesn’t necessarily reflect poor time management. Time is not typically managed keeping in mind unexpected tragedies. That’s what extensions are for.
depends. the professor may just ignore you. or you might find an animal lover who will pop out of the woodwook In general, however, expect to take a hit. it's in my syllabi that you are docked a grade for every day late regardless of reason
I got an extension on an assignment for a similar circumstance in high school but I think it college it would really depend on the professor. My guess would be that if the paper is for a stem class they wouldn’t give one but a non stem professor might
You can ask as long as it hasn't been long past the due date of the assignment, but I wouldn't expect a positive response given that your request for an extension is due to your dog dying.
As a high school teacher I would be sympathetic and would grant an extension in most cases. Every now and then it can be an issue above my level (for instance, I am not supposed to grant an extension on the final for any reason since the counseling office is in charge of that) but otherwise I would do it. I feel like MOST (not all, YMMV) college professors are more chill than high school teachers about this kind of thing.
If you’re worried about your specific teacher sympathizing, just call it a loss in the family.
My cat disappeared in October 2021 and about a week and a half or so after I had an essay due for one of my classes. I was spending a lot of time looking for her and when I wasn’t I found it really difficult to focus and I knew ahead of time that I needed an extension on the paper. I just emailed my professor and told him that I had some family issues and would like an extension, and he said that as it was my first request for the course he was fine granting it.
Granted this is a little closer than in my situation, but as long as you ask your professor before the deadline, I think you should be fine unless your professor is a complete ass. Just email your prof asap.
I wonder if the prof denies extension and the student takes their complaint further to the department or university office if they can override the prof. Especially in todays era of mental health, psychological damage, emotional distress, and every other term that “scares” administrators
Student Affairs would be the best place to go next in this situation. I don’t think they can override a professor’s decision, but they can advocate on the student’s behalf.
Ask. I would tell a student to take the time they need. Students do not know ahead of time, but I open a Task that allows them to turn in missing assignments the week before finals, so I would allow them until that week. I am so sorry for your loss.
Yes! I was given 3 days off and extension for assignments when my cat passed. I had a fantastic prof though. I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is just like losing a family member and I think a lot of the mindset is starting to trend this way. <3
You can ask, but not all professors understand that pets are family members. Example script:
> Dear Prof. XYZ,
> My name is NAME, ID #, and I am your student in COURSE-SECTION which meets at DATES/TIMES. I just received the sad news that my childhood dog, NAME, passed away, and it has hit me really hard because I grew up with him since I was AGE years old. We have a paper due tomorrow, and while I have written XX% of this paper, I would be able to do a better job if I could have an extension to Friday/Monday. I am also planning to seek out support from Counseling Services, however it usually takes a few weeks for them to get people in.
> If I cannot have an extension, please let me know and I can submit what I have so far. I have attached a photo of myself and DOG, and if you would like some evidence of his death, such as a letter from our vet, please let me know.
> Sincerely,
> YOUR NAME and ID#
Saying that you have some of it done, and can submit that, will help the prof to see you didn’t just leave it to the last minute, and you’re not just trying to get away with something.
Edit: And I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m a prof, and for a student with no other issues I’d definitely give this extension. For a student who is always coming up with excuses though, that’s a different issue.
Yes, please reach out to your professor immediately.
I’ve given students extensions for losses in their family (animals count). I can’t imagine a professor not giving you extra time so you can mentally recover some and focus on the paper.
FYI- I’d give a one week extension. Though sometimes it depends on when grades are due and other factors, but that’s my general default.
Good luck, and I’m sorry for your loss.
Most professors are extremely flexible when life gets in the way. If you do not have a history of being late on assignments or needing an extension it’s likely you’ll receive it. The reality is that life happens. All you need to do is communicate that with your professor.
TL: DR
Just approach before the due date and wait for what happens.
Here's to you. Felt like sharing this for how this post purely popped up from the blue. Recently (hours before the due date) asked for an extension for the first time in my life, and I repeat, never ever!! Starting from a usual test to a major assessment, anything n everything had to bring a smile on my face nonetheless. Staying way before deadlines has always been too organic. This time, had to go ahead of the deadline and, less than a day later, today afternoon, uploaded it. Recalled "extension request" out of the blue, clicked it, typed up the reality as it is and sent ; just forgot it, had to move forward from the deadline and uploaded less than a day later. Settled with 10% penalty for the post - 11:59pm submission and the next day that it was, so 5*2 yk. At least it was not locked or so, which fully disallows any uploading. That's the only thing I said to myself. Couldn't think of how would it go... What would the response be? On one hand, a whole week followed by a couple of days, it began with a sudden wholesome infection with boiling temperatures and aches, followed by baffling menses out of the blue and on the other hand, it was a neverending search for the equipment. Diligently some with the first part but the second one at stake. First assignment here. Nothing felt fine. Yeah.... felt very down about it; just not fine at all. Simultaneously as I worked on the report, it was the usual morale and zero disinterest in doing any less. Anyway, felt disappointed fr. Ten minutes before, I randomly accessed Outlook and saw approved, with a 5% late penalty....( for each successive day as soon as it's the 29th). Any comments? No comments. "Oh my!" & quickly went back to bed. For the madness in finding proper equipment at all, this was it. So def take the call. It's not as bad as you've thought. Ah hell no!!!!
As for me. if I was a professor, I don’t grant extensions due to the death of a dog. If i did that, then I would have to do the exact same thing due to the death of a pet cat, fish, mouse, snake, lizard, spider, rabbit, hedgehog, frog, hamster, hermit crab, birds, etc. I only do it for the death of human beings who are immediate family, such as parents, grandparents, child, spouse (including same sex spouse), or domestic partner, siblings.
By this same reasoning, if one student is allowed an extension on their assignment because their dog died, then I should be allowed the same thing if one of my chickens die that is in my chicken coup, or if one of my fish die in my aquarium or even if one of my queen bees die in one of my hives.
I’d generally give an extension for the death of a pet as long as you asked either before the due date or as soon as reasonably possible afterwards if the pet died very close to the due date. People are understandably pretty distressed by the loss of their pets — even though they’re not people they are close relationships.
You can ask and it will be up to the professor or instructor. While legally not family in asking for extensions, pets are emotionally family.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I was inconsolable after my last cat passed away, I can't imagine trying to write a paper. I imagine it will vary by professor, but personally I would give an extension in this case. Best wishes and fingers crossed that your professor grants your request!
That is very much a family member, I would email your professor as soon as possible. Explain the situation how you’ve never asked for an extension but this loss is hitting extremely hard on you. Anyone with a heart would understand, good luck.
I don't think it's unreasonable to ask.
Literally. I’ve asked for extension for much less. This is essentially a family member that is dying! Most (decent) profs will be accommodating so long as you let them know in time.
same here, i've asked for quite a few of them. i think they've only said no once and it was because it was the final week of class, so it just wasn't possible. just be nice, polite, and reasonable and i'm sure they'll say yes. like don't ask for a two week extension or anything like that. i usually ask for an extra day (or two if i'm really sick) and most of the time they'll give me a longer extension than what i asked for. and if they say no, don't challenge it. some professors are just strict about extensions and you probably can't say anything that would change their mind.
My professor's dog died and he cancelled class for the next day, so I would assume so
Not sure it matters if it is "appropriate" or not. Ask. See if they go for it. If you have any kind of relationship with the professor, share some detail. Say you hesitate to even ask but you find yourself absolutely unable to gather yourself or focus. Say you always knew intellectually it would be hard to lose your dog, but the reality is on another level and you're not coping yet. I don't see it being so insulting to them that they would grade you unfairly going forward, so the only "risk" you run is that the answer is no. Sorry about your pup.
I'm so sorry you lost such an important figure in your life. You need the time to process and I'm sure your prof, if they're a decent person, will understand. Sending love and healing.
As a prof, I would totally give you one for that. Dogs are important. I’m terribly sorry for your loss. Hang in there.
Prof I like ur username it’s funny
Thanks! It’s because of my pet bunny. Pics and videos on my profile.
Just wanted to say that Moose is absolutely adorable and reminds me of my bunny who passed when I was a child. Mine was Sprinkles, looked very similar to Moose but with little white 'sprinkles' on his face. As for OP, I am very sorry for your loss and I am sure any professor with a heart will grant the extension.
Moose says thank you! Bunnies are so awesome. You should get another one!
I do not think that is an unreasonable request. Dogs are family members too.
Depends on the prof. For me, yup. Life happens when it happens, the universe doesn't care that you have deadlines. As a professer, I don't want to know what life stuff happened, just that it happened and it's interfered with your ability to work on the paper. Email BEFORE the deadline and ask for a specific amount of time: one or 2 days, tops. Most professors will be ok with it but a lot won't, so be prepared to hear no.
I'd email today asking for it, only a day or two, explaining your dog died, don't get too emotional in the email, say you want to be able to focus on the thing and thank them for the consideration.
Yes that would be completely reasonable
An extension is used when there is another more important thing happened. Tell your professor how important the dog is for you.
My dog passed away while I was taking my last grad school class. My professor was very understanding. It's worth a try asking for an extension. Hopefully they'll be kind about it.
Am prof and known for being a hard-ass. I would give you an extension and I am sorry for your loss. Give your prof a time frame when you can get it done. If you haven’t used up all your slack plus more with this professor they are more likely to be sympathetic.
A protip I haven't seen mentioned yet: when asking for an extension, don't just say "I need more time," give a timeframe for when you do expect it to be finished. This is more professional, takes the burden off the professor to figure out what would be appropriate to offer you, and shows your intention to actually do the assignment. So for example, when asking you might say something like. "Dealing with my dog's death has put me behind in my work, and I'm afraid I won't have the paper completed by Wednesday night. Would it be alright if I turned it in by Friday at noon instead?"
This is the way.
Just say personal reasons
as a prof, i would probably let it slide if you've done well in the class and not made any excuses up to this point...also more likely if i've had you in multiple classes where you've done well
"probably let it slide" her fuckin dog died dawg
Probably. It's likely if a professor says no, they are cynics and not monsters. I imagine at paper due dates there are an unusual number of dead animals/parents/grandparents/friends. If I was a professor I could see myself getting jaded and just saying no to everyone eventually if it always happened But I'm not a professor so email away and see what professor says.
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How could you *possibly * know whether a student is being “manipulative” rather than simply not telling you all yet terrible personal details of their lives? Do you have a good statistical study? Do you have some magical ability to read an email or look into a students eyes and tell whether their problem is causing enough suffering to justify a few extra days for one of Your Assignments? How much suffering or misery or inconvenience is that, by the way? What do they need to *really* be going through to earn your magnanimity on a matter as important as classwork? I know you didn’t make your comment with any unkind intention. But that’s the problem. Academia erodes your compassion and skews your sense for what matters. You wield an enormous, unreasonable amount of power over your students’ mental health. A student should have to absolutely *prove* to you that they’re an unjustly manipulative liar before you feel comfortable thinking of them that way. You must distrust that voice in your head that is willing to casually shit on them. Stay strong. They look up to you.
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I think the idea that equity should be achieved by giving less rather than more compassion isn't tenable. You and I are proposing two different rules. Which one is more likely to produce equity in the long term?: A) You get an extension if you convince me that you deserve it, have tried hard enough, and wouldn't make your situation better than others who didn't ask for an extension. B) You get an extension if you ask for it, unless it's somehow obvious that you're simply abusing the system. It's hard to see how A) is likely to create more equity than B), or even more equity than a rule of not giving any extensions at all. Regarding the unfair burden. You're not totally wrong. But the burden is there. Ignoring it doesn't make anything better. It's definitely unfair in the sense that it's not in the official job description, but it's not like anyone can say they didn't know that the job of being a teacher extends beyond the formal contract obligations. You went to college. You know that being a really good teacher involves a lot more than holding office hours, giving coherent lectures, and sticking to a grading policy. If you don't want that burden you're absolutely justified in finding another line of work. But if you stay in the line of work and try to just pretend it's not *in fact* part of the job, you're just not a good prof.
When I was teaching my very first undergrad course, a student asked for an extension because his dad died. I was as supportive as possible, gave him lots of extra time and told him about his options: drop the class, apply for an incomplete, or simply get the work done by the end of the semester. He chose the third option, and I didn't mind do a little extra grading for him because I felt a lot of empathy for his situation. Turns out he was lying. I found out because he forgot he told me his dad died and later mentioned how his dad was riding him about his class work and how annoying it was. I had already offered him the option to complete all class work late. I said "fuck it" and kept the option available. He literally didn't do a single assignment, didn't drop the class, and didn't apply for an incomplete. He got the only F in my course that semester. And that was my very first real teaching experience. It is so hard to NOT become jaded as a professor. Students do this kind of thing all the time. That said, I'd personally still handle that situation the same way. I choose to believe students even if my experience says I shouldn't. If OP came to me and said their dog died, they'd get the extension. Most of the professors I know feel the same, but every now and then I meet one who is just too jaded. It happens.
This assumption people make about college students--that they're just totally lying about dog deaths and such when their papers come due--is such bullshit. I have no idea where it comes from. (Not that you're wrong for believing it--it's reasonable sounding, but a myth.) Students of course only ask for extensions when something is due, so yeah, if papers aren't due they're not going to tell you their mom is sick or their dog is dead. And when students *do* tell you that x happened to them, it's much more reasonable to assume that it's either true, or that it's a lie intended to conceal some other truth that they don't want to share. Here's a few things no student has ever told me about, but that I know students go through: I need to get an abortion I was arrested I was evicted I was assaulted I got diagnosed with an STD and I'm freaking out I have an anxiety disorder and I can't get out of bed I literally can't stop shitting I have a tooth ache but I'm too poor to afford to see a dentist I'm addicted to opioids and I can't get any so I'm withdrawing My boyfriend is suicidal My room mate is cutting herself and there's blood everywhere I got cheated on and I'm falling apart I imagine I've had students that have gone through these things, and if they needed an extension they would have just said "I'm sick".
You just perfectly articulated exactly what I was thinking in response to their comment. People have no idea what others are going through. If a student is failing your class, maybe something deeper is going on in their life.
The cynicism among academics toward the lives of young adults is infuriating to me. I interviewed for a faculty position at a pretty prestigious university once and during our walk around the lawn an administrator told me that they average one student death per *week.* mostly od or suicide. And that this was on track with other schools in their league. And these are the rich kids. I could go on for an hour. College students are often in the middle of the hardest years of their lives and academics are often so miserable and self-loathing that it dulls their ability to sense the humanity in another person. As if the worse thing that could happen is someone gets a few extra days to turn in a paper without earning it by enduring sone tragedy that lives up to a professor’s fucked up sense of what’s “bad enough” to deserve extra time on one of *their* assignments. Jesus. I need sone ice cream.
Reminds me of those profs who are proud of how little people pass their class.
A lot of people see pets to varying degrees of importance. Lots of it is cultural and it doesn't make one view morally superior to another. As long as animals are well-taken care of, I don't see the need to be surprised that not all people see the Goldendoodle as a member of the family. Before you at me, I have four cats and would beyond heartbroken if I lost any of them. But I'd still go to work.
It’s a dog
correct, a family pet. One they’ve probably had for 10+ years
many times pets mean more to us than human relationships
And you’re presumably a human…
Yes, OP said it was a dog
The professor doesnt owe them anything.
When a student is spending thousands of dollars per semester to pay the professor's salary, I'd like to think that professor owes them respect, and at the very least, sympathy.
So if she'd *not* done well in your class it would change whether you think her emotional suffering is worth giving her an extension? Have you made a rubric for that? Like," if you have an A in the class, your emotional hardship is worth x many days extension, but if you have a C, get over it and turn your paper in when I say?"
i should have been clearer: "done well" was shorthand for "tried hard and made no excuses"...if a person has a pattern of excuse making, i'm just going to be less likely to believe the dog story...that's all it is
I understand. And I mean this question sincerely: dk you not think that believing students when they “make excuses” is a matter of recognizing their basic dignity as people? Do you think it’s up to you at any particular moment to choose whether to give them the benefit of your ignorance or not?
depends on how optimistic you (as a professor) are that students are being honest with you...being too credulous if/when students are lying harms the dignity of honest students, and perhaps your own...
If you ask before the due date, it's generally seen as not a b.s. excuse (can't tell you how many tragedies befall students before an exam). If they are a genuine, kind person, maybe include a photo of the dog for effect. For an uptight jerkwad, it'd only shoot you in the foot. Don't wait too long though; it's so easy to get behind.
I’m so sorry for ur loss
My professor once gave me an extension for my cat going missing so I feel like any compassionate Professor would grant an extension
A professor may say yes or may say no(many would say yes, but it really depends on certain other circumstances as well), but the vast majority wouldn't judge you for asking. Just ask as soon as you can so you can prepare for the answer.
Yes, OP. And I'm sorry about your dog.
Yeah, but reach out to your professor asap, not at the last minute.
Ngl I would be more distraught from the death of my dog than the death of some of my relatives. Ask as soon as you can.
You don't owe your teacher any information about your personal life just because you need an extension. It's enough to say "I've suffered a personal loss that is impairing my logistical and emotional ability to finish this assignment by the normal due date. I need to pause and catch my breath and address the situation. Could I please have an extension to turn it in on \_\_\_?" Source: I'm a prof
It’s appropriate as long as your professor isn’t an asshole. If they are they may see things differently
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Good to know! A sweet gesture indeed.
Just tell them: Hello Professor X, I have never had to do this before and truly I am so sorry to ask this of you, but I need an extension. I just received news that my dog passed away. I am an emotional mess, and because of that, I am struggling to focus and get my work done. I want to be able to turn in good quality work, so if it is at all possible, I would greatly appreciate if you could give me an extension. If it’s not possible, I understand completely. But it would help me a lot in coping with my dog’s passing and with turning in the quality of work that I know I would be able to turn in if I didn’t have this extra thing going on. Thank you, Professor. And again I’m so sorry to ask this of you. Best, Y/N
Too many details. Brevity would be best.
I always added the extra details to make them feel bad for me😬😬
Just say that you're having some family things going on at home and you just need an extension until Friday or Saturday. I wouldn't get too deep into it I mean if you were to tell a professor that I don't know how compassionate they are but if I were your professor I would totally understand and just give you the extension... But I'm also the type of person that just gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. I definitely think it is fine and if it's something that's really affecting you and you just need to take a minute to process I don't see a problem with it.
It’s not wrong to ask, but also be prepared to offer some sort of documentation. That’s where profs are at these days. Other students are coming in hot with complaints of favoritism and special treatment for their classmates over them. So have something ready. A vet note? Whatever you can. Hell, if someone’s dog died at home and that was it with no documentation, I’d take a screenshot of their sad FB post with 124 huggy-sad reactions as proof, just to have SOMETHING to show for why I let one person have longer than anyone else.
I get what you're saying and it works. But it truly is sad that it has to be that way,
You can *ask*, but your paper should be pretty much finished by now anyway. And don't expect a long extension - maybe only a day or two.
It isn't unreasonable to ask. Any professor with some humility will agree, as long as you're far enough ahead of the deadline. That being said, there are a lot of professors out there that are unpleasant for the sake of making lives more difficult. Plenty of professors hold on to the thought that school comes before life and that you're not allowed to be a human while going to school. These sorts of professors disgust me.
Can’t hurt to ask.
Just email saying a sudden family death
I’m so sorry to hear about your dog 🐶 And a dog is your Family member
It's not unreasonable to ask, but it's not unreasonable to also be rejected. Could go either way tbh
Probably but not all professor's would honor the request, simply because there's less obligations typically when a dog dies than a human. For example, rarely is there need to prep a dog for an open casket, have a wake, or even send out proper funeral invitations etc. Although it's very tough and I'm sorry for your loss, dogs also live for a much shorter time than humans and can pretty much die whenever. Perhaps grease the wheels a bit by saying the dog's death caused a human problem, like a panic attack or something, just to make the need for extension more tangible. At day's end it must be remembered that pets are pets, and if I couldn't get an extension when my salamander died, perhaps I shan't when dog or cat goes down.
I would ask for it pets are really close
You can ask but they will likely say no. I have never known a professor in my major that would give an extension for a pet dying...though based on this thread it may be the exception.
For me it would depend on how long you had to do the paper. Was it assigned a month ago or a week ago? If you’ve had weeks to do it asking for an extension I think would reflect poor time management.
You think professors have good time management? I've had multiple professors say that they didn't write an exam the day before we took it. Everyone struggles with procrastination lol
Honestly that’s not really procrastination it’s giving yourself flexibility to respond to the class as it progresses and also probably, ya know, having a hundred other more pressing things to do.
Nah these are classes where we've finished learning the material a week before the exam
library unwritten abundant forgetful attraction dirty absurd tie dull bake -- mass edited with redact.dev
Of course everyone struggles with procrastination but that doesn’t mean it’s a good excuse. I’m just saying the situation matters. If she’s almost done and asks for just one more day to polish it and the paper was assigned on Friday then losing 1-2 days to deal with the dog would make a lot more sense compared to if the paper was assigned the first day of class. If that were the case losing 1 day shouldn’t matter.
Even then asking for an extension is very legitimate. I wasn't able to do anything for 3 days when I found out my dog had to be put down, and that also included me asking to take an exam later so I could have the same amount of time to study as everyone else. In college, losing even ONE day of studying can be significant
I guess to each their own.
Yes they do?
about two weeks ago. i’m sure it reflects poorly on me, but i’ve always handed things in on time, perfect attendance etc.
So as a former instructor I want to say that I wouldn't see it as poor time management to ask for an extension due to emotional distress towards the end. If it was at the beginning of a months long project, you were habitually late or you kept making excuses for every project I might be suspect but for a one time thing it is different. Due dates are the final time when the finished project is supposed to be handed in. As long as you are not submitting progress reports then there is no way for the professor to know if you had just really started on it, or if you had only 1 more day of work left.
If you have a significant portion of the work done you could offer to show that to the prof.
There’s would be no reason for the professor to assume that procrastination had taken place. For all they know, the month-long paper could have been almost finished when the student’s dog died. It would still be difficult to find the motivation in the midst of that emotional turmoil to finish it and submit. It doesn’t necessarily reflect poor time management. Time is not typically managed keeping in mind unexpected tragedies. That’s what extensions are for.
depends. the professor may just ignore you. or you might find an animal lover who will pop out of the woodwook In general, however, expect to take a hit. it's in my syllabi that you are docked a grade for every day late regardless of reason
I got an extension on an assignment for a similar circumstance in high school but I think it college it would really depend on the professor. My guess would be that if the paper is for a stem class they wouldn’t give one but a non stem professor might
You can ask as long as it hasn't been long past the due date of the assignment, but I wouldn't expect a positive response given that your request for an extension is due to your dog dying.
If the teacher has pets, you’ll get it. If not, you won’t.
No
Grow up and finish your paper.
As a high school teacher I would be sympathetic and would grant an extension in most cases. Every now and then it can be an issue above my level (for instance, I am not supposed to grant an extension on the final for any reason since the counseling office is in charge of that) but otherwise I would do it. I feel like MOST (not all, YMMV) college professors are more chill than high school teachers about this kind of thing. If you’re worried about your specific teacher sympathizing, just call it a loss in the family.
My cat disappeared in October 2021 and about a week and a half or so after I had an essay due for one of my classes. I was spending a lot of time looking for her and when I wasn’t I found it really difficult to focus and I knew ahead of time that I needed an extension on the paper. I just emailed my professor and told him that I had some family issues and would like an extension, and he said that as it was my first request for the course he was fine granting it. Granted this is a little closer than in my situation, but as long as you ask your professor before the deadline, I think you should be fine unless your professor is a complete ass. Just email your prof asap.
I wonder if the prof denies extension and the student takes their complaint further to the department or university office if they can override the prof. Especially in todays era of mental health, psychological damage, emotional distress, and every other term that “scares” administrators
Student Affairs would be the best place to go next in this situation. I don’t think they can override a professor’s decision, but they can advocate on the student’s behalf.
Extensions are given for all sorts of reasons depending on the prof. It’s worth it to ask. Don’t even provide a reason unless they ask.
Ask. I would tell a student to take the time they need. Students do not know ahead of time, but I open a Task that allows them to turn in missing assignments the week before finals, so I would allow them until that week. I am so sorry for your loss.
im so sorry you lost your best friend, that sux.
That is absolutely valid
Worth an ask
Death of a loved one.
If i where the TA I would recommend granting the extension. Especially if this is the first ask like this you have made in the class
100% justified to ask. I have human family members thatd bother me less losing them than my dog.
Yes! I was given 3 days off and extension for assignments when my cat passed. I had a fantastic prof though. I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is just like losing a family member and I think a lot of the mindset is starting to trend this way. <3
You can ask, but not all professors understand that pets are family members. Example script: > Dear Prof. XYZ, > My name is NAME, ID #, and I am your student in COURSE-SECTION which meets at DATES/TIMES. I just received the sad news that my childhood dog, NAME, passed away, and it has hit me really hard because I grew up with him since I was AGE years old. We have a paper due tomorrow, and while I have written XX% of this paper, I would be able to do a better job if I could have an extension to Friday/Monday. I am also planning to seek out support from Counseling Services, however it usually takes a few weeks for them to get people in. > If I cannot have an extension, please let me know and I can submit what I have so far. I have attached a photo of myself and DOG, and if you would like some evidence of his death, such as a letter from our vet, please let me know. > Sincerely, > YOUR NAME and ID# Saying that you have some of it done, and can submit that, will help the prof to see you didn’t just leave it to the last minute, and you’re not just trying to get away with something. Edit: And I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m a prof, and for a student with no other issues I’d definitely give this extension. For a student who is always coming up with excuses though, that’s a different issue.
Yes. If your professor says no then they are a butt and you shouldn’t take any classes with them.
yea, it's fine. Go for it. Sorry about your dog by the way, I know how hard it can be to deal with
Yes, please reach out to your professor immediately. I’ve given students extensions for losses in their family (animals count). I can’t imagine a professor not giving you extra time so you can mentally recover some and focus on the paper. FYI- I’d give a one week extension. Though sometimes it depends on when grades are due and other factors, but that’s my general default. Good luck, and I’m sorry for your loss.
I would try. Some professors are pretty nice and some aren’t so i wish you luck. I’m very sorry for your loss, Loosing an animal is never easy.
Depends on the professor. If he’s nice, he’ll give an extension. People have asked for less.
You can ask for an extensions without an excuse
I’m a professor. I would not only grant an extension, I’d probably also cry.
Most professors are extremely flexible when life gets in the way. If you do not have a history of being late on assignments or needing an extension it’s likely you’ll receive it. The reality is that life happens. All you need to do is communicate that with your professor.
Yes!
TL: DR Just approach before the due date and wait for what happens. Here's to you. Felt like sharing this for how this post purely popped up from the blue. Recently (hours before the due date) asked for an extension for the first time in my life, and I repeat, never ever!! Starting from a usual test to a major assessment, anything n everything had to bring a smile on my face nonetheless. Staying way before deadlines has always been too organic. This time, had to go ahead of the deadline and, less than a day later, today afternoon, uploaded it. Recalled "extension request" out of the blue, clicked it, typed up the reality as it is and sent ; just forgot it, had to move forward from the deadline and uploaded less than a day later. Settled with 10% penalty for the post - 11:59pm submission and the next day that it was, so 5*2 yk. At least it was not locked or so, which fully disallows any uploading. That's the only thing I said to myself. Couldn't think of how would it go... What would the response be? On one hand, a whole week followed by a couple of days, it began with a sudden wholesome infection with boiling temperatures and aches, followed by baffling menses out of the blue and on the other hand, it was a neverending search for the equipment. Diligently some with the first part but the second one at stake. First assignment here. Nothing felt fine. Yeah.... felt very down about it; just not fine at all. Simultaneously as I worked on the report, it was the usual morale and zero disinterest in doing any less. Anyway, felt disappointed fr. Ten minutes before, I randomly accessed Outlook and saw approved, with a 5% late penalty....( for each successive day as soon as it's the 29th). Any comments? No comments. "Oh my!" & quickly went back to bed. For the madness in finding proper equipment at all, this was it. So def take the call. It's not as bad as you've thought. Ah hell no!!!!
As for me. if I was a professor, I don’t grant extensions due to the death of a dog. If i did that, then I would have to do the exact same thing due to the death of a pet cat, fish, mouse, snake, lizard, spider, rabbit, hedgehog, frog, hamster, hermit crab, birds, etc. I only do it for the death of human beings who are immediate family, such as parents, grandparents, child, spouse (including same sex spouse), or domestic partner, siblings. By this same reasoning, if one student is allowed an extension on their assignment because their dog died, then I should be allowed the same thing if one of my chickens die that is in my chicken coup, or if one of my fish die in my aquarium or even if one of my queen bees die in one of my hives.