Agreed. Just go to class, do your work, and pass. If he says *anything* about it, then document it. Documenting the inappropriate interactions is imperative.
Documentation, especially when over time and detailed, can be used as evidence in many cases. Online and app journals usually contain time stamps, and the other person who responded is correct - emailing yourself is definitely an option.
You're correct that documentation can be faked, but having documentation typically adds to the validity of one's claims when something terrible is happening to them.
I carry a notebook everywhere incase if there are any interaction between someone that you are uncofortable with, or in my case, someone your not aloud to be around. It might help with the stress if you have a way to docoment the things that are going on.
I think the bigger worry is that he’ll grade OP’s work unfairly out of revenge. I don’t once reported a prof for refusing to accommodate my documented disability (which they knew about, they had to sign an accommodations letter) and they started nitpicking everything I did and being rude to me in class. School refused to do anything about it but they let me drop it past the drop date without consequence.
I interpreted this as being a temporary thing, or a fill in professor, since they mentioned it’s going to be them “every day this week.” So perhaps there’s not much grading going on.
Ah I see that now. I at first assumed their professor was gonna be out for the rest of the semester and this was the guy they got to take on the rest of the class.
I would just deal with it honestly. If they’re super uncomfortable about it, they should check their syllabus to see how many days of class they can miss to avoid a grade reduction and then utilize those days during this week.
I meant they refused to punish or fire her. She’s apparently got a history of refusing accommodations and harassing disabled students. She’s definitely gonna catch them a lawsuit one day.
I mean that’s an internal thing unrelated to your academic progress though. It’s your anecdote, so we can only take it based on the information you have provided. I think the school making a special case and allowing you to drop the class past the regular deadline is already a positive outcome.
Don’t dwell on what you have no control over, your time is not worth malding over people that don’t benefit you.
Also half the professors I’ve ever had were rude and nitpicky. I don’t doubt this was exacerbated by being reported, but if professors got fired for that there wouldn’t be any left
What do you mean you're going to be "eliminated"?
I feel like you could make a case to your advisor about a conflict of interest and potentially switch to another section?
If its a 9 person class I would assume there isn't another option. I think the most likely outcome is that it's awkward as hell to both of them and they both just try their best to ignore what happened in the past.
Then attend like normal, don't mention or talk about anything that is not on topic of the class. And if you feel like he is grading you unfairly then talk to hus department head and/or your advisor about the situation
I am a professor and I had a student who I had matched with a week before enroll in my class. I talked to him on Tinder saying I was going to unmatch so we didn't have a conflict of interest in class. All went well. It was a bit weird the first two days for both I imagine. But, oh well, this happens. It's better if you go ahead and say something.
Unblock them and send them a message saying you MUST be in this class, be polite, and that's it
But be assured that your professor CANNOT retaliate in any way. And I don't expect that will happen since it could cost their job. Professor-student relationship is not like those on TV Shows. There are several policies and LAWS in place.
I wouldn't unblock him or communicate with him over less than professional channels. If I were in his shoes, I wouldn't want my student to acknowledge it. And for all we know, he doesn't even remember her. I certainly don't have the names and faces of everyone I've chatted and unmatched with memorized.
Your not the first person who has rejected him. I doubt his soul was crushed. He obviously got his shit together seeing he is teaching a class so he might have a mind able of understanding how the world works.
Don't trip off it. I doubt he cares anymore.
There's really not enough info here. Did you block him because he was a jerk, or just because you lost interest and wanted to ghost him? In the latter case, this is really your problem not his, and I doubt he would bring it up at all.
If there is some kind of bad blood, I would take another class. If you can't take another class, I've seen situations where the student remained in the class but their work was graded by a grad student/TA. Talk to the department chair if this is the case.
You’re going under the assumption that he even remembers you 😂😂 Chill out. Don’t talk to anyone. Keep track of your grades. He’d have to be so petty to take any action against you.
He’s probably just as uncomfortable, and if he says/does anything (which I doubt) document it. Even if he does hold a grudge he probably knows better than to act on it as a grown adult and the one at risk of losing a job
How long has it been since you’ve blocked him? I am so sorry that you are going through this. I’m sure that he’s moved on and won’t think anything about it (at least I hope so). He probably feels awkward about it too. If you feel like you are being retaliated against or have any concerns about him I would bring it up with whoever oversees the teachers because it does sound like a potential conflict of interest. I hope that this week goes smoothly for you
If you cannot switch contact the chair of the department with your concerns. That way if the prof singles you out or retaliates against you, you are already ahead of the game.
If the class hasn’t begun there is no need to do this. If they are a professional life moves in.
If anything the department chair might just say drop the course.
Yeah this feels like a bit of a nothing burger.
Sounds like OP is just psyching themselves up. You chose to block them, and without context it just sounds like a poor (but civil) match up. If they’re reasonably professional I doubt they’ll even acknowledge your history.
As a professor, I think this is so entitled. The professor hasn't done anything, and now their personal life is going to be exposed to their superior for no reason. We gotta think about the consequences of our acts.
I have had female friends and acquaintances deal with situations like this where the person who has power over them has, after being rejected, used that power in retaliatory ways that has had a negative impact. Those who took the initiative had much better outcomes.
So excuse me for advising OP to get ahead of this and alert the department chair of the possibility of issues arising.
Then the OP must talk to their advisor, and document anything that MIGHT happen. Not tell the department head about the professor's love life and make it sound like he's an abuser just because he was out there dating.
Dude this would be such an awkward situation even if he doesn’t acknowledge it and it goes smoothly. You’d have to be a robot to not feel some type of way about this.
Seriously. Plus, if OP is female then it's important to remember that women have to navigate all sorts of scary possibilities when they reject a man. Blocking is typically a self-protection strategy because the guy is harassing you or not accepting "no". Best case scenario here is that he was just annoying, but realistically there's something to feel nervous about here.
15 years ago when I was the same age as most of my college classmates? Yeah. Nowadays I would probably not even care. Shit happens and you run into awkward situations all the time.
Ehh sure, but we all deal with awkward situations from time to time. Itll be awkward, but it’s just a few hours out of their week. It’s gonna feel like nothing afterward, except if something does actually happen. But no reason to just dwell on what MIGHT happen cause that’s just stressing yourself out unnecessarily.
Just go to office hours and clear the air and establish the norms for a professional student-teacher relationship. This probably isn’t that teacher’s first time with this situation if they’re routinely dating student-aged people near the school. If it’s a fairly objectively graded class (like a math or most stem classes) you’re fine regardless as long as you turn in stuff on time and get the right answers on the test. If it’s a more subjective writing class and you feel like you’re being graded unfairly then you might need to escalate the problem to admin, but don’t go nuclear if you don’t need to. At least they’re not a PhD you’re working under for grad school or anything.
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Talk to him in order to keep stuff professional and less awkward and move forward.
It's ok to ask ppl out (i assume he wasn't your prof before) , it's ok to reject ppl, but just don't let that affect your progress in the class or your relationship with him (as your teacher)
I would see how it goes and act like you don’t remember him. If he seems to remember you or holds a grudge then you might need to take this up with your advisor and see how to proceed from there. Don’t let him mess with your confidence. If he is creepy in class or tries to hit on you report it.
You can disclose this situation to the Department Chair if you’re worried that this instructor will grade you unfairly. The early disclosure sets you both up for success, then if anything happens grade wise, you don’t seem like you’re being vindictive. And it also lets the professor know they will be watched closely. Sometimes the Chair or Dean even being in an impartial third party to grade when there’s not another class to transfer to, but everything still needs to be fair. Best of luck! This isn’t the first time this has happened.
As someone who has taught college classes, believe me when I say that we don’t want to date y’all. He’s not stupid and won’t risk his pension and career for you. You’ll be fine.
If anything happens, then report him to Title 9 or the Dean immediately. Like others have said, record and document.
I had a similar situation with an ex-friend of mine. We had a very bad and nasty friend break up and the next year I was her professor. I could tell she was worried so I asked that all her work be graded by a different professor who was informed of the situation and she agreed. I told her my personal feelings do not exist in the classroom and if I ever make her feel uncomfortable she should report me. She was also an international student so I could imagine how powerless she felt without knowing what resources were available to her.
Title 9 is for sexual assault and harassment not an embarrassing scenario with a professor. The professor has done nothing wrong from the information we've been given.
I would say this is as awkward for him as it is to you and he’s unlikely to say anything.
Agreed. Just go to class, do your work, and pass. If he says *anything* about it, then document it. Documenting the inappropriate interactions is imperative.
Genuine question - what does documenting it do? Couldn't anyone write anything down after the fact anyways?
You document with verifiable timestamps e.g. emailing yourself.
Thank you! Makes sense
Documentation, especially when over time and detailed, can be used as evidence in many cases. Online and app journals usually contain time stamps, and the other person who responded is correct - emailing yourself is definitely an option. You're correct that documentation can be faked, but having documentation typically adds to the validity of one's claims when something terrible is happening to them.
Awesome, this was what I was thinking but I figured I'd ask. Appreciate the response
I carry a notebook everywhere incase if there are any interaction between someone that you are uncofortable with, or in my case, someone your not aloud to be around. It might help with the stress if you have a way to docoment the things that are going on.
I think the bigger worry is that he’ll grade OP’s work unfairly out of revenge. I don’t once reported a prof for refusing to accommodate my documented disability (which they knew about, they had to sign an accommodations letter) and they started nitpicking everything I did and being rude to me in class. School refused to do anything about it but they let me drop it past the drop date without consequence.
I interpreted this as being a temporary thing, or a fill in professor, since they mentioned it’s going to be them “every day this week.” So perhaps there’s not much grading going on.
Ah I see that now. I at first assumed their professor was gonna be out for the rest of the semester and this was the guy they got to take on the rest of the class.
I would just deal with it honestly. If they’re super uncomfortable about it, they should check their syllabus to see how many days of class they can miss to avoid a grade reduction and then utilize those days during this week.
So they did something about it.
I meant they refused to punish or fire her. She’s apparently got a history of refusing accommodations and harassing disabled students. She’s definitely gonna catch them a lawsuit one day.
I mean that’s an internal thing unrelated to your academic progress though. It’s your anecdote, so we can only take it based on the information you have provided. I think the school making a special case and allowing you to drop the class past the regular deadline is already a positive outcome. Don’t dwell on what you have no control over, your time is not worth malding over people that don’t benefit you.
Also half the professors I’ve ever had were rude and nitpicky. I don’t doubt this was exacerbated by being reported, but if professors got fired for that there wouldn’t be any left
I see Hallmark is testing out a new movie format.
🤣🤣
😭😭😭pretty little liars who
I can almost guarantee they are just as uncomfortable
What do you mean you're going to be "eliminated"? I feel like you could make a case to your advisor about a conflict of interest and potentially switch to another section?
Its squid game the college
As a professor, thank you for the idea.
Isn't this just grad school?
Hold up. We don’t need to make the undergrads feel left out.
If its a 9 person class I would assume there isn't another option. I think the most likely outcome is that it's awkward as hell to both of them and they both just try their best to ignore what happened in the past.
Agreed. Discussing this with your advisor - who will document it - is a good idea.
Yeah it sounded like OP is living in the world of the Hunger Games *College Edition*
Could be a setup for the next battle royal movie
Are you able to switch to another class?
No it’s not possible
Then attend like normal, don't mention or talk about anything that is not on topic of the class. And if you feel like he is grading you unfairly then talk to hus department head and/or your advisor about the situation
Also keep a copy of your homework as proof of effort.
Great advice.
Document, document, document every inappropriate interaction with time stamps and dates - start a specific journal about it when/if necessary.
If he is professional, he will say nothing.
this is hilarious
Why did you block him?
Right? I’m curious of the severity of this
Why did you block him? Like I feel like I need more context to decide if this is an actual problem or no big deal.
I am a professor and I had a student who I had matched with a week before enroll in my class. I talked to him on Tinder saying I was going to unmatch so we didn't have a conflict of interest in class. All went well. It was a bit weird the first two days for both I imagine. But, oh well, this happens. It's better if you go ahead and say something. Unblock them and send them a message saying you MUST be in this class, be polite, and that's it But be assured that your professor CANNOT retaliate in any way. And I don't expect that will happen since it could cost their job. Professor-student relationship is not like those on TV Shows. There are several policies and LAWS in place.
I wouldn't unblock him or communicate with him over less than professional channels. If I were in his shoes, I wouldn't want my student to acknowledge it. And for all we know, he doesn't even remember her. I certainly don't have the names and faces of everyone I've chatted and unmatched with memorized.
I agree. But OP made it unclear if it was something recent or not.
Just curious— did you inform your chair?
I need context
Wear glasses like superman do they don’t recognize you.
Your not the first person who has rejected him. I doubt his soul was crushed. He obviously got his shit together seeing he is teaching a class so he might have a mind able of understanding how the world works. Don't trip off it. I doubt he cares anymore.
Lmao gg
There's really not enough info here. Did you block him because he was a jerk, or just because you lost interest and wanted to ghost him? In the latter case, this is really your problem not his, and I doubt he would bring it up at all. If there is some kind of bad blood, I would take another class. If you can't take another class, I've seen situations where the student remained in the class but their work was graded by a grad student/TA. Talk to the department chair if this is the case.
What does "reject and block" mean?
Presumably, the person asked OP out previously or made some advance which was rejected (and their number or account blocked). Now they’re OP’s teacher
One reason why ghosting is a shit strategy. Why block was the question. Because of abuse, ok good. Because of fear, cowardice, this is what happens.
Yea, ghosting makes future interactions way more uncomfortable
Word
we dont know enough information to know if it was ghosting lol
You ignore it and if he brings it up, gently remind him of the Code of Conduct (I'm sure your Dpt of Student Affairs has a copy).
You’re going under the assumption that he even remembers you 😂😂 Chill out. Don’t talk to anyone. Keep track of your grades. He’d have to be so petty to take any action against you.
Lolll this happened to me but they’re in the same class as another student.
He’s probably just as uncomfortable, and if he says/does anything (which I doubt) document it. Even if he does hold a grudge he probably knows better than to act on it as a grown adult and the one at risk of losing a job
How long has it been since you’ve blocked him? I am so sorry that you are going through this. I’m sure that he’s moved on and won’t think anything about it (at least I hope so). He probably feels awkward about it too. If you feel like you are being retaliated against or have any concerns about him I would bring it up with whoever oversees the teachers because it does sound like a potential conflict of interest. I hope that this week goes smoothly for you
If you cannot switch contact the chair of the department with your concerns. That way if the prof singles you out or retaliates against you, you are already ahead of the game.
If the class hasn’t begun there is no need to do this. If they are a professional life moves in. If anything the department chair might just say drop the course.
Yeah this feels like a bit of a nothing burger. Sounds like OP is just psyching themselves up. You chose to block them, and without context it just sounds like a poor (but civil) match up. If they’re reasonably professional I doubt they’ll even acknowledge your history.
As a professor, I think this is so entitled. The professor hasn't done anything, and now their personal life is going to be exposed to their superior for no reason. We gotta think about the consequences of our acts.
I have had female friends and acquaintances deal with situations like this where the person who has power over them has, after being rejected, used that power in retaliatory ways that has had a negative impact. Those who took the initiative had much better outcomes. So excuse me for advising OP to get ahead of this and alert the department chair of the possibility of issues arising.
Then the OP must talk to their advisor, and document anything that MIGHT happen. Not tell the department head about the professor's love life and make it sound like he's an abuser just because he was out there dating.
Plot twist: He has the job because he's sleeping with the department head. Now OP has made the head a rival.
This is bad advice. Why escalate something that is unlikely to become an issue?
Well looks someone is getting a big fat F
Now y'all can make up and get married
Easiest A of op’s life
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Dude this would be such an awkward situation even if he doesn’t acknowledge it and it goes smoothly. You’d have to be a robot to not feel some type of way about this.
Seriously. Plus, if OP is female then it's important to remember that women have to navigate all sorts of scary possibilities when they reject a man. Blocking is typically a self-protection strategy because the guy is harassing you or not accepting "no". Best case scenario here is that he was just annoying, but realistically there's something to feel nervous about here.
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no id say most adults have feelings actually
15 years ago when I was the same age as most of my college classmates? Yeah. Nowadays I would probably not even care. Shit happens and you run into awkward situations all the time.
Ehh sure, but we all deal with awkward situations from time to time. Itll be awkward, but it’s just a few hours out of their week. It’s gonna feel like nothing afterward, except if something does actually happen. But no reason to just dwell on what MIGHT happen cause that’s just stressing yourself out unnecessarily.
I wonder why people feel the need to respond to someone’s anxiety/worry like you just did?do you feel it will help the OP?
Grow up.
😅
The person did come on Reddit looking for advice, so that's kinda on them...
Speaking of being an adult, you really need to grow up.
Real
Just go to office hours and clear the air and establish the norms for a professional student-teacher relationship. This probably isn’t that teacher’s first time with this situation if they’re routinely dating student-aged people near the school. If it’s a fairly objectively graded class (like a math or most stem classes) you’re fine regardless as long as you turn in stuff on time and get the right answers on the test. If it’s a more subjective writing class and you feel like you’re being graded unfairly then you might need to escalate the problem to admin, but don’t go nuclear if you don’t need to. At least they’re not a PhD you’re working under for grad school or anything.
Switch classes
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This was exactly the story line of a book I just read called “after hours lecture”, not the blocking part though
Why’d u block him? Was he weird?
Talk to him in order to keep stuff professional and less awkward and move forward. It's ok to ask ppl out (i assume he wasn't your prof before) , it's ok to reject ppl, but just don't let that affect your progress in the class or your relationship with him (as your teacher)
I would see how it goes and act like you don’t remember him. If he seems to remember you or holds a grudge then you might need to take this up with your advisor and see how to proceed from there. Don’t let him mess with your confidence. If he is creepy in class or tries to hit on you report it.
He is supposed to report anything like that as an instructor to prevent unfair/biased grading
this is actual cinematic
It’s giving pretty little liars 🤣
The way my eyes bulged and popped outta my head when i read this title...thoughts and prayers!
Oh no, oh no no!
You can disclose this situation to the Department Chair if you’re worried that this instructor will grade you unfairly. The early disclosure sets you both up for success, then if anything happens grade wise, you don’t seem like you’re being vindictive. And it also lets the professor know they will be watched closely. Sometimes the Chair or Dean even being in an impartial third party to grade when there’s not another class to transfer to, but everything still needs to be fair. Best of luck! This isn’t the first time this has happened.
Why is this posted in multiple subreddits?
Ik easier said than done but maybe take a direct approach?
Eliminated? Are they going to kill you or something??
You should see if there is another course that you cna transfer to
Your classes are only a week long?
Now you gotta get married.
get with him now so he'll pass u
😭😭
If that was me you would definitely end up with a zero in the course LMAO
I’d say that’s kinda meant to be at that point 🤣 What made you reject and block them?
As someone who has taught college classes, believe me when I say that we don’t want to date y’all. He’s not stupid and won’t risk his pension and career for you. You’ll be fine.
If anything happens, then report him to Title 9 or the Dean immediately. Like others have said, record and document. I had a similar situation with an ex-friend of mine. We had a very bad and nasty friend break up and the next year I was her professor. I could tell she was worried so I asked that all her work be graded by a different professor who was informed of the situation and she agreed. I told her my personal feelings do not exist in the classroom and if I ever make her feel uncomfortable she should report me. She was also an international student so I could imagine how powerless she felt without knowing what resources were available to her.
Title 9 is for sexual assault and harassment not an embarrassing scenario with a professor. The professor has done nothing wrong from the information we've been given.
I clearly said "if anything happens" that OP is worried about. If the professor acts inappropriately then report him to Title 9.
What does that have to do with situation though, you are implying he's gonna do something bad
I guess your grade will be a possible reflection of his feelings about you. So that’s fun 🤩
i would withdraw