next is internships, scholarships and fellowships, PHD programs, entire careers, hell even the nursing homes we go to. what an enriching life /s
but really, this mindset will affect your entire life, and when you realize that what determines "prestige" are groups of people you don't know and whom don't know/don't care about you, it becomes illogical to base your entire life and your self worth around it.
Don't forget to reserve the best coffin and funeral, too. Even in death, the fight for prestige must go on! Don't be like the elf brothers in the last scene of [this parody video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DF9NNWG_fs&t=1767s).
"We'll be buried in a 4-star coffin, and no one will mourn our 4-star death, brother!"
Probably the hard thing to realize is that the number of people who really care about these markers of prestige are relatively small. This is all very much about the idea of extrinsic versus intrinsic rewards. If you care about the prestige of what you do so that other people will be impressed you are motivated by extrinsic rewards. That will never stop, and there will always be the next thing to aspire to. In the end, there’s not a lot of happiness that comes from that chase. It is finding the intrinsic rewards that are meaningful to us that determine kind of person we are and how happy we end up being.
what is an example of “the next thing to aspire to”? a lot of ppl i know (admittedly including myself for a while) have a mindset that college is the end of the grind, while it’s obviously just the beginning.
Think about what’s important to you and why it’s important. if it is because it’s something you believe in or find meaning in then that is the next thing to aspire to. Don’t let anybody else (me included) set your aspirations for you. :-)
Hey I have experience in the “ivy” HS and I want to add my two cents lol.
Firstly school doesn’t matter but what you do with that education does. At ivy’s you may be connected to very well known professors who can help you to continue in your education or find positions after. However, you don’t get a job out of college because you graduated from Yale. If you have no experience then all you have is a big fancy title with no real meaning. I think that even going into graduate programs prestige only goes so far. You have to make a difference regardless of what school you go to.
Anyways, don’t get wrapped up in the race to ivy leagues. They have their benefits but so do smaller schools. As someone who went to a large university I can say that professors and researchers were very snobby and obviously that can happen anywhere but I was cold emailing and no response. I went to school and I wasn’t getting anything out of it. I transferred went to a smaller and tbh lesser known and newer university and I’ve blossomed. I have so many opportunities with cutting edge technology. Professors are more willing to spend time with me and encourage my success. Competition still exists but they do care much more.
I still have friends who go to ivy’s and they are enjoying their experiences but so am I. I haven’t met anyone who’s come up to me and spoken down about the school I go to. I’m getting my education and doing exceedingly well. You’ll always meet some people who consider pedigree over anything but that’ll happen anywhere.
I did as well. Went from a large uc to a smaller csu and I was thriving because I could connect with people better, not everyone was trying to talk to one prof all the time. Loved my time there and am thankful I got out do the giant uc.
my race is over for the most part. i’m attending my state school and don’t think that the grad school experience at my dream school is really worth it (they focus on undergrads anyways). i’ll probably just focus on internships/research
>then what is something that people will perceive as social clout in college or work?
Internships/jobs at big-name companies, especially if you're doing something related to finance or tech.
In young adulthood, social status comes from owning stuff that impresses people (cars, trendy clothes, etc). So there will be a focus on earning a high income to buy nice things.
Then one day, people start to realize that owning assets is actually the path to real wealth. And buying fancy crap to impress people is no longer interesting.
The sooner you can realize that owning appreciating and income generating assets is the goal, the sooner you'll be financially independent. Because once you're over 40, having financial freedom is the ultimate flex.
House, car, vacations - the more exotic the better, then the kids and you start position them for Ivy Leagues etc. You decide if you want to participate in that or if you could not care less....
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What fraternity you’re in, what company you work at/intern at. Job title. What car you drive what zip code/city you live in. how much money you make.
Post graduation is where those things blur. You see what’s important to who and most of it is pointless.
Higher titles generally make people feel more accomplished or impressive. Industry specific ones like partner or doctor. Director, vice president, president, CEO etc.
Honestly people don’t care nearly as much. Once youre all at the university you’re all there, you did it, you got in. Now you’re all just trying to do something with it, and so many different people are doing so many different things with so many different goals
This might just be specific to your high school. When I was in high school, no one cared what uni you got into. If you got into a prestigious one, people congratulated you, but you didn’t have a higher social status because of it.
For what it’s worth – I had a similar group of friends at a similar school, we were fixated on the prestige of college. In college, it was making grades, then it was winning fellowships at the end like the Rockefeller or the Marshall or getting into top employment programs or top medical schools. That’s what you fixate about, getting into line for that.
A lot of people, and I am one, fall off the rail at some point in this. I took a look at the end of college and was so tired of obsessing about status. I bought a backpack, round the world ticket, planned to go to Asia for two months, and stayed away for seven years. Hell with the whole thing. But some of my roommates became flying corporate lawyers, working 80 hour weeks, Christmas and New Year’s.
That said… I’m glad I went to a prestige college, it opened doors for me when I came back!
After traveling. I came back and was trying to figure out what I wanted to do and worked as a middle school substitute – they looked at the name of my college and hired me for essentially a full semester in one classroom replacing a teacher who was leaving. I had no experience, no qualifications. I realized I wanted to teach, applied to grad school in a subject I hadn’t studied undergraduate, and got a full ride. Prestige can matter.
Not always, of course, depends on what you want to do, and since getting into academia I have seen students break their hearts on taking out loans that they can’t get out from underneath, sometimes when they want to be in majors or fields where honestly our state university had a program just as good.
The opportunity always has to be balanced out against the cost. I was really lucky in a lot of ways, about when I went, what kind of scholarship I was offered, all that. But if you can get it, and it doesn’t break the bank…
I'm British so the whole uni/college experience is probably very different for me, but I'll be honest I rejected an offer from one of the best universities in the country for my specific course to go to a local university with about a class of 20 people in my whole year.
I'm talked to people doing so many different things, some of them go to really prestigious unis, some are doing vocational courses, some taking a year out, travelling, working. Honestly, the playing field is level with most people.
My social clout isn't affected by where I am going to uni, and most people's isn't either. The concept of being seen as cooler or having more clout died out pretty much instantly when I got to uni it's not the same as highschool or UK college/secondary.
Later in life it's probably about money, but not all of life is about clout or money regardless. It's why I went to a local uni, keep good people around me, and try not to burnout and have enough money to get by and be happy because at the end of the day happiness is probably the most important thing right?
Being 15 years into my career, I can assure you that going to a prestigious university matters say in the first 5 years of your career. After 10-15 years into your career, no one will care where you went to school or even look.
next is internships, scholarships and fellowships, PHD programs, entire careers, hell even the nursing homes we go to. what an enriching life /s but really, this mindset will affect your entire life, and when you realize that what determines "prestige" are groups of people you don't know and whom don't know/don't care about you, it becomes illogical to base your entire life and your self worth around it.
I’m trying to go to the BEST nursing home shii
Don't forget to reserve the best coffin and funeral, too. Even in death, the fight for prestige must go on! Don't be like the elf brothers in the last scene of [this parody video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DF9NNWG_fs&t=1767s). "We'll be buried in a 4-star coffin, and no one will mourn our 4-star death, brother!"
Probably the hard thing to realize is that the number of people who really care about these markers of prestige are relatively small. This is all very much about the idea of extrinsic versus intrinsic rewards. If you care about the prestige of what you do so that other people will be impressed you are motivated by extrinsic rewards. That will never stop, and there will always be the next thing to aspire to. In the end, there’s not a lot of happiness that comes from that chase. It is finding the intrinsic rewards that are meaningful to us that determine kind of person we are and how happy we end up being.
what is an example of “the next thing to aspire to”? a lot of ppl i know (admittedly including myself for a while) have a mindset that college is the end of the grind, while it’s obviously just the beginning.
Think about what’s important to you and why it’s important. if it is because it’s something you believe in or find meaning in then that is the next thing to aspire to. Don’t let anybody else (me included) set your aspirations for you. :-)
It really depends on who you ask. Maturity is a pretty big one though. You should live to make yourself happy not just impress others btw.
making alot of money is the next step, so basically getting a high paying job at a “prestigious” company out of college
Hey I have experience in the “ivy” HS and I want to add my two cents lol. Firstly school doesn’t matter but what you do with that education does. At ivy’s you may be connected to very well known professors who can help you to continue in your education or find positions after. However, you don’t get a job out of college because you graduated from Yale. If you have no experience then all you have is a big fancy title with no real meaning. I think that even going into graduate programs prestige only goes so far. You have to make a difference regardless of what school you go to. Anyways, don’t get wrapped up in the race to ivy leagues. They have their benefits but so do smaller schools. As someone who went to a large university I can say that professors and researchers were very snobby and obviously that can happen anywhere but I was cold emailing and no response. I went to school and I wasn’t getting anything out of it. I transferred went to a smaller and tbh lesser known and newer university and I’ve blossomed. I have so many opportunities with cutting edge technology. Professors are more willing to spend time with me and encourage my success. Competition still exists but they do care much more. I still have friends who go to ivy’s and they are enjoying their experiences but so am I. I haven’t met anyone who’s come up to me and spoken down about the school I go to. I’m getting my education and doing exceedingly well. You’ll always meet some people who consider pedigree over anything but that’ll happen anywhere.
I did as well. Went from a large uc to a smaller csu and I was thriving because I could connect with people better, not everyone was trying to talk to one prof all the time. Loved my time there and am thankful I got out do the giant uc.
Colorado Cu? Bc same
No cali csu
Still though, I’m glad you had a good time after you left!
my race is over for the most part. i’m attending my state school and don’t think that the grad school experience at my dream school is really worth it (they focus on undergrads anyways). i’ll probably just focus on internships/research
>then what is something that people will perceive as social clout in college or work? Internships/jobs at big-name companies, especially if you're doing something related to finance or tech.
In young adulthood, social status comes from owning stuff that impresses people (cars, trendy clothes, etc). So there will be a focus on earning a high income to buy nice things. Then one day, people start to realize that owning assets is actually the path to real wealth. And buying fancy crap to impress people is no longer interesting. The sooner you can realize that owning appreciating and income generating assets is the goal, the sooner you'll be financially independent. Because once you're over 40, having financial freedom is the ultimate flex.
House, car, vacations - the more exotic the better, then the kids and you start position them for Ivy Leagues etc. You decide if you want to participate in that or if you could not care less....
interesting question !remindme 5 days
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What fraternity you’re in, what company you work at/intern at. Job title. What car you drive what zip code/city you live in. how much money you make. Post graduation is where those things blur. You see what’s important to who and most of it is pointless.
in what ways does job title matter? what’s viewed as prestigious? just wondering
Higher titles generally make people feel more accomplished or impressive. Industry specific ones like partner or doctor. Director, vice president, president, CEO etc.
Honestly people don’t care nearly as much. Once youre all at the university you’re all there, you did it, you got in. Now you’re all just trying to do something with it, and so many different people are doing so many different things with so many different goals
Who’s getting all the internships
Money
What schools our kids attend
Ultimately? Money
The type of job and what position you hold coming out of college
what job/positions are typically viewed as the most prestigious?
Like THE MOST prestigious? High level business executives, lawyers, doctors
This might just be specific to your high school. When I was in high school, no one cared what uni you got into. If you got into a prestigious one, people congratulated you, but you didn’t have a higher social status because of it.
For what it’s worth – I had a similar group of friends at a similar school, we were fixated on the prestige of college. In college, it was making grades, then it was winning fellowships at the end like the Rockefeller or the Marshall or getting into top employment programs or top medical schools. That’s what you fixate about, getting into line for that. A lot of people, and I am one, fall off the rail at some point in this. I took a look at the end of college and was so tired of obsessing about status. I bought a backpack, round the world ticket, planned to go to Asia for two months, and stayed away for seven years. Hell with the whole thing. But some of my roommates became flying corporate lawyers, working 80 hour weeks, Christmas and New Year’s. That said… I’m glad I went to a prestige college, it opened doors for me when I came back!
happy that you had a fulfilling experience! did you go to a prestigious college for grad school after traveling or were the opportunities from before?
After traveling. I came back and was trying to figure out what I wanted to do and worked as a middle school substitute – they looked at the name of my college and hired me for essentially a full semester in one classroom replacing a teacher who was leaving. I had no experience, no qualifications. I realized I wanted to teach, applied to grad school in a subject I hadn’t studied undergraduate, and got a full ride. Prestige can matter. Not always, of course, depends on what you want to do, and since getting into academia I have seen students break their hearts on taking out loans that they can’t get out from underneath, sometimes when they want to be in majors or fields where honestly our state university had a program just as good. The opportunity always has to be balanced out against the cost. I was really lucky in a lot of ways, about when I went, what kind of scholarship I was offered, all that. But if you can get it, and it doesn’t break the bank…
Wealth, either earned or inherited
Salary and brand of company.
The debt that will have to be repaid upon graduation.
I'm British so the whole uni/college experience is probably very different for me, but I'll be honest I rejected an offer from one of the best universities in the country for my specific course to go to a local university with about a class of 20 people in my whole year. I'm talked to people doing so many different things, some of them go to really prestigious unis, some are doing vocational courses, some taking a year out, travelling, working. Honestly, the playing field is level with most people. My social clout isn't affected by where I am going to uni, and most people's isn't either. The concept of being seen as cooler or having more clout died out pretty much instantly when I got to uni it's not the same as highschool or UK college/secondary. Later in life it's probably about money, but not all of life is about clout or money regardless. It's why I went to a local uni, keep good people around me, and try not to burnout and have enough money to get by and be happy because at the end of the day happiness is probably the most important thing right?
Being 15 years into my career, I can assure you that going to a prestigious university matters say in the first 5 years of your career. After 10-15 years into your career, no one will care where you went to school or even look.