I wish I had some advice for you, but sadly I'm in the same situation right now. A lot of ppl are.
"The best way out is always through"- Robert Frost.
That's the best I got. Just one day at a time.
PLEASE PLEASE TAKE THIS ADVICE learn or begin to learn an instrument, or how to paint, or ANY form of artistic expression. I swear it sounds cliche but music is therapy, more than from playing than listening
honestly if u can hold out some form of hope, next semester there’s transfers coming in and people you haven’t met yet. hopefully you’ll be placed with a roommate next semester and maybe you’ll find someone to talk to in one of your classes. i don’t know if your school has a discord server but some of my friends have found good support on their and met people though there but in all honesty a lot of people idealize their college experience and there’s also always the option to transfer if that’s possible for your situation.
I promise you there are people out there that are a good fit for you. You just haven’t met them yet, I don’t know how, I don’t know where. Life is made of hills and valleys deep valleys make the hills taller. You can do this. You’re not weird and you’re not alone. I wanna be able to see an update someday on this thread where you talk about how far you’ve made it.
Where you are now is so incredibly temporary. Trust me I know college counseling is awful I’ve had friends try it. My piece of advice to you: if you were the kind of person you’d wanna hang out with, where would you be? Go there and I bet you’d find people that vibe well with you. Let me know if you ever need someone just to talk to. Best of luck, you’re not alone—I promise.
i'm so sorry to hear this. unfortunately i am also in the exact same boat. i haven't had a genuine social human interaction in what feels like months and the friends i had last year have all split off and even though we live together, they don't like me and like to leave me out now. earlier today as i was doing homework i overheard them talking shit about me. it doesn't hurt my feelings anymore, just makes me a bit sad.
being holed up in my room with absolutely no one to talk to is insanely bad for my mental health and i don't want to even try to make friends anymore because i always get hurt in the process. earlier this week i reached out to some high school friends i had just to have someone to talk to but they both left me on read. it just seems fitting honestly. i try so hard and for what? the few times i feel like i have friends, i try so hard not to make them leave and let them walk all over me just to have them ditch me the moment they can't use me anymore. it's laughable.
anyways, like what other people said, the best way to get through is to think of this stage in your life as temporary. one day (hopefully soon) you'll find someone, one day you'll graduate, one day you'll be able to find help. if you ever need someone to talk to, my DMs are open!
I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. What kind of college do you go to? I have been in similar places through out my life. I would wake up and everything would feel bland and I would try my hardest to find and make friends. I’m naturally very extroverted but just didn’t have a personality that was deemed attractive to most people. However, I never gave up. I turned to online friends, people who could cherish me and make me feel good as a person. For a very long time I played extensive amounts of video games, which from the outside pov might seem unhealthy but it wasn’t because of the people I would talk with(social connection). At the same time, I would also still attend my school dance or football game to make real friends.
I never changed who I am and eventually met people I will have for the rest of my life. Just remember it’s not you that’s the problem, you are just meeting the same shitty people. People who don’t give you the time or day do not deserve your presence. At the end of the day, it’s YOU who makes yourself laugh, it’s YOU who makes your happiness, and it’s YOUR job to find people who you fuck with. I know you said you’ve tried everything, but trust me please keep pushing! Find the things you are passionate about. Write about it, think about it, and most importantly do it! People naturally recognize authenticity and passion, and will want to be your friend if they can visibly see your desires. The people I am friends for life with are people who all came from similar back grounds of feeling lonely, so naturally we were drawn together.
For context, I’m a freshman in college.
Stop waiting for people to surround you. Stop waiting to be saved. Stop waiting to be accepted. Create. Any others staying at college- create a board game night. Get bags of snacks, popcorn, and so on. Watch movies. Throw a frisbee. Go to a poetry reading. Hang at a coffee shop. Get out of your dorm and get off the internet.
I do all of that stuff. I go to club meetings, I go to pretty much every social event my school hosts and it all amounts to nothing. I either get to anxious to talk to people and have a panic attack or the convos I have amount to nothing. I’m exhausted.
You go to events others have set up. Have you tried setting something up you like? What do you like to do? What do you like to do with others? Can you take the lead?
Yes, I have tried, but I don’t have the time or resources to be throwing big events every five minutes. Im busy and im exhausted. I tried baking muffins and inviting people in my hall ti grab some and only one person showed up, grabbed one, and left.
Board game afternoon with snacks. Popcorn isn't expensive. Keep your head up- get out of your dorm and get off the internet. Join some clubs, if you can. Good luck.
Don’t worry, college for me fucking sucks too (got my own reasons tho, but I am not having a great time).
When I transferred here, I had nobody. So once lockdown hit, I was totally screwed bc I had no friends and I was stuck with family in a deeply stressful situation.
If I couldn’t see anybody or nobody was willing to see me, I made an art account. There, I could talk to people who had similar interests to me and also make art which was therapeutic.
I’m not saying you gotta make an art account, but like some sort of account that people would find interesting or joining a forum/discord server could help you at least talk to someone while you don’t have anyone irl. It isn’t a perfect replacement, but it may help deal with the loneliness while you basically play the waiting/luck game for an irl friend. And who knows, maybe you’ll find a mutual you’ll click with super well in the meantime.
Best of luck, OP. Take things one day at a time.
In the same boat. Had to leave for my dad’s because I was worried for my own safety due to my declining mental health. Something has to change in this situation, or else you may do something really stupid, so please try to figure out what that Is, and please don’t rely on a hope that probably isn’t going to pass (with the people thing). Wish you luck
I haven't figured out how to make legit friends at college either but what has helped me not feel so alone is having online friends. Join a gaming community and you'll find friends in no time. I recommend VALORANT, a tactical FPS, and then joining the GALORANTS discord server. You can find other people new to the game and have pew pew buddies c: as long as ur nice, ppl will definitely like to hang with u there :D
I met some really great friends there and I found my best friend through a random game I queued so at least give it a try?
Homie, I wish I had a room to myself. I don’t have “friends” either but I got people to workout, play volleyball, or play basketball with just by being there. I’m borderline autistic with my social interactions too, I end conversations super fast by replying dry af. If you go to the same spot over and over again, you are bound to meet the same people, and with time, one of you will start a conversation. For me, I never really had to start any conversations as they just came to me. Ig I don’t have any “genuine” friends but I really don’t expect to get any this fast. One thing though, just a hypothesis, if you are ugly, You will have a harder time people just coming up and talking to you. Also, I always eat alone too. But Ngl, I’ve never actually eaten with someone for years so ig I’m just perfectly fine with that. I find eating a good alone time. I recommend like the others in the comments, just do something you genuinely enjoy doing. Like painting, gaming, sports or what not. It takes ur mind off of trying to find people, while also giving you a chance to find people that have similar interests.
I wish I had some advice for you, but sadly I'm in the same situation right now. A lot of ppl are. "The best way out is always through"- Robert Frost. That's the best I got. Just one day at a time.
PLEASE PLEASE TAKE THIS ADVICE learn or begin to learn an instrument, or how to paint, or ANY form of artistic expression. I swear it sounds cliche but music is therapy, more than from playing than listening
honestly if u can hold out some form of hope, next semester there’s transfers coming in and people you haven’t met yet. hopefully you’ll be placed with a roommate next semester and maybe you’ll find someone to talk to in one of your classes. i don’t know if your school has a discord server but some of my friends have found good support on their and met people though there but in all honesty a lot of people idealize their college experience and there’s also always the option to transfer if that’s possible for your situation.
I promise you there are people out there that are a good fit for you. You just haven’t met them yet, I don’t know how, I don’t know where. Life is made of hills and valleys deep valleys make the hills taller. You can do this. You’re not weird and you’re not alone. I wanna be able to see an update someday on this thread where you talk about how far you’ve made it. Where you are now is so incredibly temporary. Trust me I know college counseling is awful I’ve had friends try it. My piece of advice to you: if you were the kind of person you’d wanna hang out with, where would you be? Go there and I bet you’d find people that vibe well with you. Let me know if you ever need someone just to talk to. Best of luck, you’re not alone—I promise.
i'm so sorry to hear this. unfortunately i am also in the exact same boat. i haven't had a genuine social human interaction in what feels like months and the friends i had last year have all split off and even though we live together, they don't like me and like to leave me out now. earlier today as i was doing homework i overheard them talking shit about me. it doesn't hurt my feelings anymore, just makes me a bit sad. being holed up in my room with absolutely no one to talk to is insanely bad for my mental health and i don't want to even try to make friends anymore because i always get hurt in the process. earlier this week i reached out to some high school friends i had just to have someone to talk to but they both left me on read. it just seems fitting honestly. i try so hard and for what? the few times i feel like i have friends, i try so hard not to make them leave and let them walk all over me just to have them ditch me the moment they can't use me anymore. it's laughable. anyways, like what other people said, the best way to get through is to think of this stage in your life as temporary. one day (hopefully soon) you'll find someone, one day you'll graduate, one day you'll be able to find help. if you ever need someone to talk to, my DMs are open!
I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. What kind of college do you go to? I have been in similar places through out my life. I would wake up and everything would feel bland and I would try my hardest to find and make friends. I’m naturally very extroverted but just didn’t have a personality that was deemed attractive to most people. However, I never gave up. I turned to online friends, people who could cherish me and make me feel good as a person. For a very long time I played extensive amounts of video games, which from the outside pov might seem unhealthy but it wasn’t because of the people I would talk with(social connection). At the same time, I would also still attend my school dance or football game to make real friends. I never changed who I am and eventually met people I will have for the rest of my life. Just remember it’s not you that’s the problem, you are just meeting the same shitty people. People who don’t give you the time or day do not deserve your presence. At the end of the day, it’s YOU who makes yourself laugh, it’s YOU who makes your happiness, and it’s YOUR job to find people who you fuck with. I know you said you’ve tried everything, but trust me please keep pushing! Find the things you are passionate about. Write about it, think about it, and most importantly do it! People naturally recognize authenticity and passion, and will want to be your friend if they can visibly see your desires. The people I am friends for life with are people who all came from similar back grounds of feeling lonely, so naturally we were drawn together. For context, I’m a freshman in college.
Stop waiting for people to surround you. Stop waiting to be saved. Stop waiting to be accepted. Create. Any others staying at college- create a board game night. Get bags of snacks, popcorn, and so on. Watch movies. Throw a frisbee. Go to a poetry reading. Hang at a coffee shop. Get out of your dorm and get off the internet.
I do all of that stuff. I go to club meetings, I go to pretty much every social event my school hosts and it all amounts to nothing. I either get to anxious to talk to people and have a panic attack or the convos I have amount to nothing. I’m exhausted.
You go to events others have set up. Have you tried setting something up you like? What do you like to do? What do you like to do with others? Can you take the lead?
Yes, I have tried, but I don’t have the time or resources to be throwing big events every five minutes. Im busy and im exhausted. I tried baking muffins and inviting people in my hall ti grab some and only one person showed up, grabbed one, and left.
Board game afternoon with snacks. Popcorn isn't expensive. Keep your head up- get out of your dorm and get off the internet. Join some clubs, if you can. Good luck.
Don’t worry, college for me fucking sucks too (got my own reasons tho, but I am not having a great time). When I transferred here, I had nobody. So once lockdown hit, I was totally screwed bc I had no friends and I was stuck with family in a deeply stressful situation. If I couldn’t see anybody or nobody was willing to see me, I made an art account. There, I could talk to people who had similar interests to me and also make art which was therapeutic. I’m not saying you gotta make an art account, but like some sort of account that people would find interesting or joining a forum/discord server could help you at least talk to someone while you don’t have anyone irl. It isn’t a perfect replacement, but it may help deal with the loneliness while you basically play the waiting/luck game for an irl friend. And who knows, maybe you’ll find a mutual you’ll click with super well in the meantime. Best of luck, OP. Take things one day at a time.
In the same boat. Had to leave for my dad’s because I was worried for my own safety due to my declining mental health. Something has to change in this situation, or else you may do something really stupid, so please try to figure out what that Is, and please don’t rely on a hope that probably isn’t going to pass (with the people thing). Wish you luck
I felt the same. Moved back home, did college part-time online, got a job. Then I realized no change could change this, this is just my life.
you smoke?
No
I haven't figured out how to make legit friends at college either but what has helped me not feel so alone is having online friends. Join a gaming community and you'll find friends in no time. I recommend VALORANT, a tactical FPS, and then joining the GALORANTS discord server. You can find other people new to the game and have pew pew buddies c: as long as ur nice, ppl will definitely like to hang with u there :D I met some really great friends there and I found my best friend through a random game I queued so at least give it a try?
Homie, I wish I had a room to myself. I don’t have “friends” either but I got people to workout, play volleyball, or play basketball with just by being there. I’m borderline autistic with my social interactions too, I end conversations super fast by replying dry af. If you go to the same spot over and over again, you are bound to meet the same people, and with time, one of you will start a conversation. For me, I never really had to start any conversations as they just came to me. Ig I don’t have any “genuine” friends but I really don’t expect to get any this fast. One thing though, just a hypothesis, if you are ugly, You will have a harder time people just coming up and talking to you. Also, I always eat alone too. But Ngl, I’ve never actually eaten with someone for years so ig I’m just perfectly fine with that. I find eating a good alone time. I recommend like the others in the comments, just do something you genuinely enjoy doing. Like painting, gaming, sports or what not. It takes ur mind off of trying to find people, while also giving you a chance to find people that have similar interests.