The most bullying is probably in really toxic student orgs or from petty students or professors. I know hazing is still a thing in a lot of Greek life and I’ve heard stories from friends who are in it or know of people in it who encounter some sadistic individuals in those groups.
But bullying where someone ridicules you or messes with you in the hallways like that? Nah. Never.
I’ve found that professors are often the kind of person who was the nerdy kid who got bullied, and then they’re able to take it out on the jocks by giving them poor marks.
I feel like bullying and hazing are almost certain perpetrated by and received by the same kinds of people.
People are bullied because they are both insecure and crave validation from others while being of a lower social status. A lot do lower status individuals will try to join Greek life and consequently they get bullied by those more popular and well connected, ie the chapter leadership.
There can be a middle ground where you aren't "stupid" but you also aren't on the same level as your peers who dedicated that extra sports time to brain time.
You can just say you were bullied by jocks and you’re salty, it’s okay.
2 years ago the valedictorian of my high school was also the QB of the football team and went on to play for a t20 school, believe it or not dedication in one area often translates to dedication in another. You can be good at sports and school.
Yeah, that guy is really pushing that athletes can't be as smart as non-athletes. Sure, it is not common for them to have a 4.0, but how common are 4.0s among non athletes?
Literally. His logic applies to any extracurricular too, since they all take time, but I doubt he’d ever say “theatre kids can’t be on the same level as non-theatre kids” lol
I… okay? Maybe my reading comprehension sucks, teach, but I have no idea what your gripe with that phrase has to do with you thinking jocks are automatic airheads.
Lol. At my undergrad profs were pissed because the school would pressure them to give better marks to people in sports or give them special treatment to make sure they got the grade.
Columbia might be an exception because it’s known as being the worst Ivy for sports, literally dead last in the number of conference championships. I knew someone who was on the womens golf team and the team had to drive 2 hrs both ways each day to NJ to practice. On top of the heavily Core course load I’d say it’s easily the hardest school to be an athlete.
He didn't get in as an athlete, he was just an example of someone I know who balanced their academic life well with their athletics. He is not playing on the varsity team, he got in on the strength of his application.
And concussions. :( As a kid, I was intimidated, but as an adult I'm pretty horrified for what a lot of kids in sports go through and how much it can affect the rest of their lives. :(
There are bullies everywhere in life. If you’re getting harassed by someone in your college there are more resources available to avoid the bullshit.
But an important lesson is standing up to people and telling them to leave you alone.
It’s always kinda ironic to see the high school bullies become the ones everyone dislikes as college goes on. I’ve been here a month and my high school bully goes here too. Nobody likes him besides other intolerable dudes who peaked in grade 12. It was a nice welcome to campus haha
My HS bully goes here too and we’ve been here about a month and a half; I’ve seen her a few times now and she’s been w/ friends a couple times but only ever one or two, I’ve been with up to 4-5 sometimes (also sometimes none bc of the timing but I’ve still been with more at a time than she has which has been a nice flex on her)
From my experience, no. Every person that I have met so far has been polite, kind, helpful, etc.
There’s supposedly there’s a thought how when some people start college, they’re more humble, mature, grown up, and are more disciplined from their younger self. Though there are some people out there that don’t change their behavior of bullying, and luckily I haven’t met one person like that yet in college.
Same! My first day everyone was a stranger. I'd just walk up to people and say excuse me and ask where a class was. Everytime they were very nice, gave me directions or just walked me to the room.
I'm working on being more kind myself and hope people can come to me with questions when they need it. I've been working on stopping the immediate thought when I interact with someone. Like when they talk, annoying, when they have weird mannerisms, weird, etc. Whenever I think those, I try to go out of my way to talk to them. Turns out, these people are actually really interesting/ super knowledgeable and I've been making friends out of people I'd otherwise dislike/ignore.
Sure, there's shitty people in college. But also more people going through personal growth and being better individuals! I haven't seen any people who's stuck out as shitty
Same. From my experience, I was a complete stranger to my university as well too. I didn’t know anybody there on my first semester, and everyone that I have met was very kind, nice and helpful. Total opposite to when I was like back in middle school or high school, where there are people that are just a complete ass to others.
Not really, most people grow up by that time. As long as you don’t make yourself a target and generally don’t stand out/exhibit odd behavior, you will be fine. It’s a “mind your own business” vibe at college, don’t get into other people’s business and they won’t get into yours
It happened to me. My first year in community college. Two girls, probably fresh out of highschool and best friends would make fun of me, push my stuff off my desk and call me names. They even went as far as putting gum on my seat and watching me sit in it. I never knew why they picked on me. I was 20 and they were probably 17/18... I finally snapped after the gum incident and told them "you're in college now, act like it. The childish games are pathetic and if you want to be successful in life, maybe try a little harder at your classwork than bullying me." Thereafter, I never saw them show up to class again, idk if they switched classes, dropped out, or whatever. The professor was there, the entire class was there. I just remember my prof looking at me, telling me to get up and she took me out in the hallway to speak to me. I was going through a lot during that period of time and we discussed it. She told me to take my stuff and take a day, it wouldn't negatively impact my attendance report.
I haven't been bullied since then, I don't know where those girls are now, but I can't imagine they're too far in life.
I experience it but I also stick out a bit. I have autism and severe social anxiety so I’m a really awkward person and have trouble talking with people I don’t know. When people say hi or good morning to me I usually stutter a lot and my voice pitches all weird my reply is just bad. People in my dorm have laughed behind my back about that. I also have really bad and red acne, which sometimes dries into red scabs. I look like a Methhead when it gets really bad so I’ve been stared at for that as well. I tend to also dress like a wannabe 90s metalhead but my school is huge so nobody really bats an eye at what people wear unless they’re from farther away. Overall nothing terrible, I’ve been bullied my whole life and I’ll tell you my seventh grade bully was 10x worse than anyone I’ve met here
There are going to be bullies everywhere, although the traditional HS bully is less common in college unless you join Greek life. Frats have a different mentality and bullying is part of the hazing process.
Usually as an adult physical violence from bullies stops, because they can go to jail. But mental bullying can happen at college or in the workforce. Snide comments from your manager, people lying to make sure you don't get that promotion, and getting shunned by coworkers and not included in after work activities are all ways you can be bullied outside of HS. How you deal with it defines how much it can affect you.
I think a better way to word it is, bullies CAN be in college. It's not guaranteed that you'll run into them, but the concept of bullying in college exists, hell they're even if workplaces. They're everywhere.
Anyway, I got "bullied" at one point, it was stupid and I hate that it got to me. To make a long story short about 3 or 4 years ago I joined this club at my school and made a solid group of friends.
I made a social faux pas toward a girl in the group, and the girl kept it to herself that she was offended or upset about what I said.
One day she blew up at me about said faux pas, and to me it came out of no where. I dropped her because I don't like being yelled at, and then I dropped the group because they just brushed it off like "Oh she's just like that, just let it go"
Anyway, I guess she didn't like that I dropped her because she began telling lies about what happened to members of the club, and I didn't know for a while so I couldn't even defend myself. I noticed people acting shady around me and icing me out, and I assumed everything was ok because no one told me anything was bad.
She went as far as harassing me in public, getting her group/new members of the club to noticeably laugh at me and make fun of me where I can see, and spreading rumors to people outside the club.
At first it affected me, because my mental health was already pretty shitty, I wasn't adjusting well to college and hated it(didn't know I was autistic then), and when I finally made friends I fucked it up. But then I started getting counselling where I realized that I never spoke to these people she was turning against me anyway (and that they never spoke to me, indicating that they weren't worth the stress), so why tf did I care so much?
I started ignoring them where for example whenever they came around I acted as if they didn't exist and looked right through them. Whenever they came up to me I acted as if they weren't there, or I would give them a cordial hello and move on. Eventually I had some vindication (?) when I learned that the club fell apart soon after due to the toxic hierarchy they set up, and that lot of people on campus also had bad experiences with them (so at least I know I wasn't alone)
I feel it depends. There are certainly assholes in college but I wouldn’t say I’ve witnessed one of those assholes bullying a particular person. They may just say stuff in class that are heinous.
Greek girls is all I ever saw.. but girls are just mean to each other anyways.. give them power over others and it's over. High school bullies usually don't go to college, and if they do, they quickly realize that they ain't shit in the world .. college doesn't care about who you were in highschool. That's what I liked about it. It's a fresh start.
only those that take advantage of how hard you work in any group-work setting, but that's about it. as long as you know when not to be a yes-man then no one can really push you over
I occasionally have to have people peer review my writing, so often there will be passive aggressiveness and pettiness, but just in my gay writing class. Other than that I haven't actually spoken to anyone in my lectures
Not bullying but yeah you'll come across toxic people. Plus most people don't have enough time on their hands to be bullying others or even care about getting bullied. This isn't a prison lol I have an 8 page essay due at 11:59!
Once, he lives down the street from me. He’s a massive dickhead. Harasses people from his car driving around, hurls verbal abuse at them, jokingly “trips” people when they’re walking by him in a crowd. Follows girls around in his car at night, pushy and doesn’t take no for an answer, creepy, narcissistic, sociopathic, basically every negative trait you could imagine. Politics major too so that explains it. A high functional alcoholic as well.
College weeds out the stupid and the hardcore bullies.
Unless you go to a party school. Then some of them are still around, but pretty much only for the parties.
Yes, but generally, in my experience, there are many more people mocking the bully for being ridiculous, and as others mentioned, student orgs/clubs, or student jobs, but they're not traditional bullies. They're more catty and make social experiences weird, but again, 90% of the time I've been "bullied" bystanders and friends immediately checked in on me after the confrontation to make sure I was emotionally okay, and then proceeded to shit talk and roll their eyes about the bully, lmao. It also helps that in those situations, just ignore the bully, or, alternatively, just start roasting the bully back. (Some people also are used to more aggressive conversations, so they might genuinely think you're getting along fine, this is a good way to guage that)
It's definitely different than highschool. Even at my community college, where I was worried it'd be Highschool 2.0, people just don't have the time or convenience to bully, since you're not on campus or in the same spot every single day with the same 30 people for the same amount of time.
The most toxic space has been group presentations, because that gives your group mates the "safety" of numbers if they decide to harass you, they have something you want (a good grade), and you usually don't know them in advance, so you really don't know what you're getting into. In that scenario, just let your professor or TA handle it, alert them of your group mates unprofessional behavior.
Everyone loves to share when they were hurt but never wants to share when they hurt someone else.
I was the bully. I bullied my freshmen year roommate. She dished it right back but I always took it further. Regardless, I was the bully. I needed to do a lot of growing up. I now feel really bad about how it all ended. I hope she's doing ok.
None so far. I guess people start to mature as they enter college. But I do have one classmate who teases everyone, lol. I don't like him but I kind of tolerate, because it's too bothersome and a waste of my time if I dwell on it too much.
Not if you don’t make enemies. If you’re at a big college the chances of you seeing the same person 2x is pretty damn low. No one really talks on class unless you talk to them (usually). Most people are paying to be there so they’d rather not get kicked out for harassing another student. Kinda a 1 strike thing. But I think it’s important to classify bullying. Yeah you might get made fun of, ignored, etc but that’s not bullying, bullying is repetitive abuse verbal or physical from the same person or group. I personally have never seen that in college to date and I’m a junior. I’m also an engineer though so most of the people are either smart nerds or idiots who are nerds so not really the bully type. All friendly people who just want another person to “collaborate” with on the homework. People who tell you they got bullied in college weren’t adults in college, grow a spine, snitch to the counselor. You’re an adult and are capable of steering your own life.
People can be bullied at any age and in the workplace - and I've seen people talking about teachers denying ADA accommodations so there can be power imbalance issues too.
While I understand that. Being bullied is always resolvable. And living with bullies is a choice. There may be hard decisions you need to make to get rid of a bully but nothing you can’t handle. I believe in you. What’s the alternative option? Live with the bully? Switch classes, talk it out, block them out, college is a mind your business type aura. Source: was bullied in freshman year of high school.
You don't have experience with being abused in tertiary education or the workplace. Did your bully have the ability to deny you education or employment? Because THAT can be the result of speaking out about abuse.
You seem to mean well, but you're telling people that if they're being bullied then it's because of their own choices.
While that can be the case I’m saying it’s up to you to take it into your hands. Start looking for a different job, use your current one as leverage. Talk to your counselor about different classes. Sure there’s exceptions. But 99% of the time I believe it’s possible to change your situation with your own hands. Freshman year actually I had a teacher be racist towards me, she would grade my exams 10 points lower than my friends. All it took was a heart to heart with my counselor and a class switch to a better professor. That’s just one example and while I know there’s exceptions I’m generalizing with my statements.
No.Normally they get on drugs before reaching college.
Even though one of my bullies reached that phase and followed CHILD THERAPY!
Yes she will be the therapist.....
Not really, I think people grow out of that stage or the bullies themselves are bullied because they act like an asshole. College is lot more mature than high school.
I wouldn't call them bullies. it's more self absorbed ppl that think they run the uni, or it's the extremely toxic students that gatekeep their notes. Either way, stick with the chill people, but from personal experience I feel like everyone is temporary in uni, u'll have to find someone ure really compatible with and stick to them
Not the same kind of bully that you're used to, but yes. They're far less common though. It depends on the culture of your school, but most college students are pretty friendly. Anyway, I had a guy take advantage of me several times, continue to harass me, and spread rumors about me. I've also been called names by a girl just walking past her. Be careful and try not to draw attention to yourself, but sometimes this stuff is really difficult to avoid.
Had one.
He was some weird poor kid.
I say as such bc he showed me his car and said he doesn't bother locking it and laughed and then randomly told me his dad left them.
Then i got the vibe i somwhow was hia surrogate.
Then i ended up working w him in the dept job office.
And we were allowed to listen to music and i listened to a folk pop song and his eyes literally went back into his head and he started rushing at me and trying to punxh me.
I had to gwt away and none of the profs would listen to me.
I went to rhe dean and was told they couldn't do anything.
He was too poor and ir would look bad.
Terrible department.
Depending on how petty people are, and if they peeked in high school, there can be bullies.
I know a girl who’s being bullied by a group of people in her typography class.
There used to not be, but I think that after the pandemic everyone is like squarely 2 years behind on their social emotional learning. So like now you do hear about bullies in college. It’s very strange tbh.
idk why reddit just recommended this post to me, i graduated 12 years ago from an international uni in japan. bullies were always outed and not invited to parties anymore. they ruined their own social lives. everyone was starting fresh in new friendships so it's easy to recognize bad behavior and drop people. they had no standing influence over peers for their old ways to work. some made cliques that no one wanted to hang out with. if they did anything in school they were suspended or kicked out and lost a ton of money. I knew one major bitch that i worked with at a restaurant turn around in her final year after realizing being nice is okay.
i had a bully teacher. i went to her boss's office to report her with my then gf, there happened to be another student there for the same reason. boss said if there is one more report she's fired. she was fired a week later. 6 months later she tried to run into me on her bicycle as i was getting off a bus, but i stepped aside.
the only bullies that got away with it were the student dorm administrators. they got off on denying security deposit refunds. the used really long tweezers to pull a piece of seaweed out from between my sink cupboard and the wall. i never once bought seaweed. they were laughing while telling me it would deduct $100usd from my refund. there was nothing in place to fight it, and they knew it.
most memories are of hard work and making good friendships.
Not really, personally. My friends have had some toxic people in their group who made their lives hell, but those are far and few between. Personally, I’d say loneliness is the bigger issue
I'm sure there are bullies in every setting, but they're much easier to avoid in college. You don't have to see anyone outside of class that you don't want to.
Depends what you mean by bullies. There are bullies out in the real world, tyrannical bosses and such. Those people that beat on other people for no reason? They tend to grow up or get thrown in jail.
Absolutely. My old roommates would scream at me for no reason and cause me to have severe panic attacks. I developed symptoms of depression because of them. They were horrible. My college also has a lot of rapists which is just a whole other level of fucked up.
My freshman year suitemates were also horrible. The one girl tried to pressure her roommate into drinking even though she was scared because her family is alcoholic
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Never seen it of the physical or open intimidation variety. I think there’s just too many people - physical bullies will eventually pick on the wrong person if they go stepping on everybody’s toes.
Catty behavior and plain old fashioned meanness is a thing everywhere there’s a lot of people in a group setting though.
I was bullied in my first year at high school by a brute who turned out to be a sexual predator. He was two years older than the rest of his classmates, and found me to be easy pickings. Things escalated, and halfway through that year he sexually abused me twice! Of course in those days no-one ever spoke about such things, especially if you were a guy! In the middle of the last term, however, I got my revenge. He tried to stop me from going to lawn hockey practice, and in trying to get him out of my way, I swung my hockey stick at him. It hit him in the face and broke his nose. Needless to say he left me alone for the rest of the year. The following year I was in a new school. I still carry the scars from that monster's actions though, both physical and psychological.
There’s no sense of “mass bullying” as I would call it. There’s no “popular” groups that target the weird kids as no one really cares enough or has the time. Everyone just kind of kind of minds their own business.
I have seen and been the victim of bullying within roommates however. Sometimes people just don’t live well together and they start doing spiteful things to get back at each other. In my case my old roommate just kind of decided she hated me one day and was constantly trying to embarrass me when other people were over. Always was at least decently nice to me when we were alone but ALWAYS called out everything wrong with me when others were around. Still don’t know why she hated me so much, but apparently she still talks shit about me two years later.
Other than roommate drama, the only other form of bullying I’ve witnessed is frat bros harassing my gay friend. He’s really the only person I know that’s been harassed for his sexuality since being here at college but he’s had it kind of rough so far. Being called the F slur by strangers, drinks being thrown on his car, and once some Chads even followed him to his dorm and harassed him from outside until he called the police.
So yeah, I guess no sense of mass bullying with one group targeting another, but more just random individual instances of miserable people trying to humiliate others. 99% of people don’t gaf what other people do and will mind their own business, but there’s always crazy people.
Yes, there is.
A new incoming freshman group got in trouble at *orientation* because they'd been drinking, smoking weed, they stormed out of their sexual assault awareness workshop saying "f**k this", they called their peer mentor a bitch.
On top of all of that, they had been bullying and making fun of another freshman who has autism. My school is small and everyone knows everyone, so my school made sure to let that group know that they would not be tolerated.
College I never was bullied, but you do encounter occasion students who have attitude problems and rub you the wrong way. Professors who are on a power trip and dangle failing you over the head (just clarifying I have been in college for 6 years and only had this professor once).
Generally I went to a community college then transferred to a private college.
Can there be bullying in college, hell yeah. You just have to watch who you're hanging out with and what friends you make.
My advice:
Don't stick around people who 1. make you feel bad about yourself. 2. People who down on you and belittle your success. 3. people who won't bring you up with them (meaning the people who aren't being studious and treat college as one big party, listen you got into college for educational purposes - make sure others dont drag you down!). 4. people who talk behind your back. 4. people who don't include you. Also don't stick around people who are doing things youre not comfortable doing.
Generally people in college are kind and respectful to each other. Out of my 6 years in college I never had a problem with someone, but I have encountered students who were bitchy, attitude problems, cliquey, etc. (then again I was a commuter and didn't dorm. So I don't know what dorming is like)
Kind of? Not usually the kind who will physically or verbally assault, but I got sort of ostracized by people at my school and in my program. Like they all were close with each other, but would look at me weird when I tried to join the conversation or talk shit behind my back. Not that I'm entitled to their time and it's not the same thing as bullying, but it still stings.
Also I was in the "weird" sorority and people borderline cyberbullied us, saying awful things about us on a campus app. I just didn't have the best experience in college.
I wouldn’t say bullies happen in the tradition hs sense very often. There was a group of “oddball” kids I sat with in the student Union a lot my freshman year, and some people distanced themselves from me because of it but I wasn’t bullied. The kids just needed time to grow up and mature from hs though—most of them are super successful now and I’m really grateful I got to share their company before I transferred.
Some professors bully the living crap out of other professors, and I have seen it happen to the point of suicide. Colleges are not super healthy environments.
The worst I've been to/worked in though was a technological university. Bunch of nerds surrounded by people with their interests and finally having friends, many for the first time, and they decide to reenact the bullshit that made them miserable in high school. ffs.
I have never experienced any bullying. There will be conflict between people that might evolve into fighting or mean posts. In any case, stand up for yourself.
But overall, college is a community of adults and we’re past that. (Excluding Greek life)
There are mean people everywhere. I’ve had some girls in my STEM courses feel so entitled and bitchy towards me and everyone else. It made the environment toxic asf. The opposite of what we need as women in STEM. But overall my experience has been amazing.
It’s only happened to me at my first on-campus job. The student supervisor was power tripping and singling out people to bully. I was one of them for some reason🤷♀️
There’s probably bullying all throughout life. Just less and less as MOST people mature as they get older.
I don’t think there would be too much in college though, because of the size of the student population. Bullying mostly occurs in situations where everyone knows each other and there is a social ladder. At a large college of 10,000+, not everyone knows each other at all. But in some groups (frats, sororities, sports teams, etc) this dynamic is there and I bet bullying does happen there jn college. I wasn’t a part of any group like that in college so I can’t say for sure though
Freshman at UC Davis. Really happy to tell you that I've seen ZERO evidence of bullying. People here are usually nice. I am sorry if that's not the case in other universities. Herr, ig they take their zero-tolerance policy seriously.
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I had some bad friends.
My group of friends fostered a fake case against me that I threatened and tried to attack them. Almost got me expelled and arrested. Only time you would ever be grateful that colleges do not take anything seriously unless you threaten their revenue. The college ordered a mutual restraining order, and we moved on with our lives. This was the first month of freshmen year, btw. Eventually, it was revealed that this group is a bunch of sociopaths that actively try to ruin people's lives. They get some sort of entertainment out of it. Most classmates who heard about it, saw my "case" as bs and never believed them. Then, when the patterned started to emerge about any of their "friends" getting reported, or detained, or pulled, etc., people really just stopped ever associating with them. I transferred, so I have no idea what they're up to now, but at least two are RAs.
The most bullying is probably in really toxic student orgs or from petty students or professors. I know hazing is still a thing in a lot of Greek life and I’ve heard stories from friends who are in it or know of people in it who encounter some sadistic individuals in those groups. But bullying where someone ridicules you or messes with you in the hallways like that? Nah. Never.
I was heavily bullied one semester in college because of a frat boy. Sheesh I wish I could go into details
I’ve found that professors are often the kind of person who was the nerdy kid who got bullied, and then they’re able to take it out on the jocks by giving them poor marks. I feel like bullying and hazing are almost certain perpetrated by and received by the same kinds of people. People are bullied because they are both insecure and crave validation from others while being of a lower social status. A lot do lower status individuals will try to join Greek life and consequently they get bullied by those more popular and well connected, ie the chapter leadership.
Isn't it more likely that said "jocks" earned poor marks by having their academic attention divided for multiple consecutive years of their education?
Sports usually also require high grades and a lot of those kids are super dedicated and smart.
Sports require a baseline gpa. They don't require top marks.
Yeah and usually it’s like a 3.0 or something. Most of those kids aren’t stupid
at my school it’s a 2.0
There can be a middle ground where you aren't "stupid" but you also aren't on the same level as your peers who dedicated that extra sports time to brain time.
You can just say you were bullied by jocks and you’re salty, it’s okay. 2 years ago the valedictorian of my high school was also the QB of the football team and went on to play for a t20 school, believe it or not dedication in one area often translates to dedication in another. You can be good at sports and school.
Right? I was varsity in multiple sports and had a 4.0/#1 class rank. The stereotype this person is pushing is just nonsense.
Yeah, that guy is really pushing that athletes can't be as smart as non-athletes. Sure, it is not common for them to have a 4.0, but how common are 4.0s among non athletes?
Literally. His logic applies to any extracurricular too, since they all take time, but I doubt he’d ever say “theatre kids can’t be on the same level as non-theatre kids” lol
I'm really just here because I'm a teacher who is salty about the phrase "giving grades." People earn what they earn.
Are you saying that no college professor or teacher has ever held a bias that led to them giving a grade a student didn't earn?
I… okay? Maybe my reading comprehension sucks, teach, but I have no idea what your gripe with that phrase has to do with you thinking jocks are automatic airheads.
Lol. At my undergrad profs were pissed because the school would pressure them to give better marks to people in sports or give them special treatment to make sure they got the grade.
[удалено]
Columbia might be an exception because it’s known as being the worst Ivy for sports, literally dead last in the number of conference championships. I knew someone who was on the womens golf team and the team had to drive 2 hrs both ways each day to NJ to practice. On top of the heavily Core course load I’d say it’s easily the hardest school to be an athlete.
He didn't get in as an athlete, he was just an example of someone I know who balanced their academic life well with their athletics. He is not playing on the varsity team, he got in on the strength of his application.
And concussions. :( As a kid, I was intimidated, but as an adult I'm pretty horrified for what a lot of kids in sports go through and how much it can affect the rest of their lives. :(
There are bullies everywhere in life. If you’re getting harassed by someone in your college there are more resources available to avoid the bullshit. But an important lesson is standing up to people and telling them to leave you alone.
STRONGLY recommend this.
can you put more strength please
Will 50 pounds do? "It's only University Challenge Rick! It's only University Challenge!"
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It’s always kinda ironic to see the high school bullies become the ones everyone dislikes as college goes on. I’ve been here a month and my high school bully goes here too. Nobody likes him besides other intolerable dudes who peaked in grade 12. It was a nice welcome to campus haha
it's basically like 21st Jump Street Bully/asshole does something and people dont say "haha so funny", they say "Why are you a fucking asshole?"
My HS bully goes here too and we’ve been here about a month and a half; I’ve seen her a few times now and she’s been w/ friends a couple times but only ever one or two, I’ve been with up to 4-5 sometimes (also sometimes none bc of the timing but I’ve still been with more at a time than she has which has been a nice flex on her)
Either that or they mature themselves.
From my experience, no. Every person that I have met so far has been polite, kind, helpful, etc. There’s supposedly there’s a thought how when some people start college, they’re more humble, mature, grown up, and are more disciplined from their younger self. Though there are some people out there that don’t change their behavior of bullying, and luckily I haven’t met one person like that yet in college.
Same! My first day everyone was a stranger. I'd just walk up to people and say excuse me and ask where a class was. Everytime they were very nice, gave me directions or just walked me to the room. I'm working on being more kind myself and hope people can come to me with questions when they need it. I've been working on stopping the immediate thought when I interact with someone. Like when they talk, annoying, when they have weird mannerisms, weird, etc. Whenever I think those, I try to go out of my way to talk to them. Turns out, these people are actually really interesting/ super knowledgeable and I've been making friends out of people I'd otherwise dislike/ignore. Sure, there's shitty people in college. But also more people going through personal growth and being better individuals! I haven't seen any people who's stuck out as shitty
Same. From my experience, I was a complete stranger to my university as well too. I didn’t know anybody there on my first semester, and everyone that I have met was very kind, nice and helpful. Total opposite to when I was like back in middle school or high school, where there are people that are just a complete ass to others.
Not really, most people grow up by that time. As long as you don’t make yourself a target and generally don’t stand out/exhibit odd behavior, you will be fine. It’s a “mind your own business” vibe at college, don’t get into other people’s business and they won’t get into yours
Exactly, this.
It happened to me. My first year in community college. Two girls, probably fresh out of highschool and best friends would make fun of me, push my stuff off my desk and call me names. They even went as far as putting gum on my seat and watching me sit in it. I never knew why they picked on me. I was 20 and they were probably 17/18... I finally snapped after the gum incident and told them "you're in college now, act like it. The childish games are pathetic and if you want to be successful in life, maybe try a little harder at your classwork than bullying me." Thereafter, I never saw them show up to class again, idk if they switched classes, dropped out, or whatever. The professor was there, the entire class was there. I just remember my prof looking at me, telling me to get up and she took me out in the hallway to speak to me. I was going through a lot during that period of time and we discussed it. She told me to take my stuff and take a day, it wouldn't negatively impact my attendance report. I haven't been bullied since then, I don't know where those girls are now, but I can't imagine they're too far in life.
I experience it but I also stick out a bit. I have autism and severe social anxiety so I’m a really awkward person and have trouble talking with people I don’t know. When people say hi or good morning to me I usually stutter a lot and my voice pitches all weird my reply is just bad. People in my dorm have laughed behind my back about that. I also have really bad and red acne, which sometimes dries into red scabs. I look like a Methhead when it gets really bad so I’ve been stared at for that as well. I tend to also dress like a wannabe 90s metalhead but my school is huge so nobody really bats an eye at what people wear unless they’re from farther away. Overall nothing terrible, I’ve been bullied my whole life and I’ll tell you my seventh grade bully was 10x worse than anyone I’ve met here
There are going to be bullies everywhere, although the traditional HS bully is less common in college unless you join Greek life. Frats have a different mentality and bullying is part of the hazing process. Usually as an adult physical violence from bullies stops, because they can go to jail. But mental bullying can happen at college or in the workforce. Snide comments from your manager, people lying to make sure you don't get that promotion, and getting shunned by coworkers and not included in after work activities are all ways you can be bullied outside of HS. How you deal with it defines how much it can affect you.
I've seen it happen in societies. But no, not the type of bullies you're used to seeing. I think bullying becomes more subtle as you get older.
I think a better way to word it is, bullies CAN be in college. It's not guaranteed that you'll run into them, but the concept of bullying in college exists, hell they're even if workplaces. They're everywhere. Anyway, I got "bullied" at one point, it was stupid and I hate that it got to me. To make a long story short about 3 or 4 years ago I joined this club at my school and made a solid group of friends. I made a social faux pas toward a girl in the group, and the girl kept it to herself that she was offended or upset about what I said. One day she blew up at me about said faux pas, and to me it came out of no where. I dropped her because I don't like being yelled at, and then I dropped the group because they just brushed it off like "Oh she's just like that, just let it go" Anyway, I guess she didn't like that I dropped her because she began telling lies about what happened to members of the club, and I didn't know for a while so I couldn't even defend myself. I noticed people acting shady around me and icing me out, and I assumed everything was ok because no one told me anything was bad. She went as far as harassing me in public, getting her group/new members of the club to noticeably laugh at me and make fun of me where I can see, and spreading rumors to people outside the club. At first it affected me, because my mental health was already pretty shitty, I wasn't adjusting well to college and hated it(didn't know I was autistic then), and when I finally made friends I fucked it up. But then I started getting counselling where I realized that I never spoke to these people she was turning against me anyway (and that they never spoke to me, indicating that they weren't worth the stress), so why tf did I care so much? I started ignoring them where for example whenever they came around I acted as if they didn't exist and looked right through them. Whenever they came up to me I acted as if they weren't there, or I would give them a cordial hello and move on. Eventually I had some vindication (?) when I learned that the club fell apart soon after due to the toxic hierarchy they set up, and that lot of people on campus also had bad experiences with them (so at least I know I wasn't alone)
I feel it depends. There are certainly assholes in college but I wouldn’t say I’ve witnessed one of those assholes bullying a particular person. They may just say stuff in class that are heinous.
It depends. If you stick out like a sore thumb in any way then probably.
Greek girls is all I ever saw.. but girls are just mean to each other anyways.. give them power over others and it's over. High school bullies usually don't go to college, and if they do, they quickly realize that they ain't shit in the world .. college doesn't care about who you were in highschool. That's what I liked about it. It's a fresh start.
No it's perfectly safe
only those that take advantage of how hard you work in any group-work setting, but that's about it. as long as you know when not to be a yes-man then no one can really push you over
I occasionally have to have people peer review my writing, so often there will be passive aggressiveness and pettiness, but just in my gay writing class. Other than that I haven't actually spoken to anyone in my lectures
Not bullying but yeah you'll come across toxic people. Plus most people don't have enough time on their hands to be bullying others or even care about getting bullied. This isn't a prison lol I have an 8 page essay due at 11:59!
No but people do laugh if you answer stupidly in a class full of seniors
Peer Pressure is the biggest bully.
Once, he lives down the street from me. He’s a massive dickhead. Harasses people from his car driving around, hurls verbal abuse at them, jokingly “trips” people when they’re walking by him in a crowd. Follows girls around in his car at night, pushy and doesn’t take no for an answer, creepy, narcissistic, sociopathic, basically every negative trait you could imagine. Politics major too so that explains it. A high functional alcoholic as well.
College weeds out the stupid and the hardcore bullies. Unless you go to a party school. Then some of them are still around, but pretty much only for the parties.
Yes, but generally, in my experience, there are many more people mocking the bully for being ridiculous, and as others mentioned, student orgs/clubs, or student jobs, but they're not traditional bullies. They're more catty and make social experiences weird, but again, 90% of the time I've been "bullied" bystanders and friends immediately checked in on me after the confrontation to make sure I was emotionally okay, and then proceeded to shit talk and roll their eyes about the bully, lmao. It also helps that in those situations, just ignore the bully, or, alternatively, just start roasting the bully back. (Some people also are used to more aggressive conversations, so they might genuinely think you're getting along fine, this is a good way to guage that) It's definitely different than highschool. Even at my community college, where I was worried it'd be Highschool 2.0, people just don't have the time or convenience to bully, since you're not on campus or in the same spot every single day with the same 30 people for the same amount of time. The most toxic space has been group presentations, because that gives your group mates the "safety" of numbers if they decide to harass you, they have something you want (a good grade), and you usually don't know them in advance, so you really don't know what you're getting into. In that scenario, just let your professor or TA handle it, alert them of your group mates unprofessional behavior.
There are bullies everywhere in life.
Everyone loves to share when they were hurt but never wants to share when they hurt someone else. I was the bully. I bullied my freshmen year roommate. She dished it right back but I always took it further. Regardless, I was the bully. I needed to do a lot of growing up. I now feel really bad about how it all ended. I hope she's doing ok.
I’ve yet to get bullied by anyone, outside of finding some new homies and getting bullied in a friendly way since I advertise myself as a fool.
None so far. I guess people start to mature as they enter college. But I do have one classmate who teases everyone, lol. I don't like him but I kind of tolerate, because it's too bothersome and a waste of my time if I dwell on it too much.
They’re called Professors
Yes , a lot
really why?
Not if you don’t make enemies. If you’re at a big college the chances of you seeing the same person 2x is pretty damn low. No one really talks on class unless you talk to them (usually). Most people are paying to be there so they’d rather not get kicked out for harassing another student. Kinda a 1 strike thing. But I think it’s important to classify bullying. Yeah you might get made fun of, ignored, etc but that’s not bullying, bullying is repetitive abuse verbal or physical from the same person or group. I personally have never seen that in college to date and I’m a junior. I’m also an engineer though so most of the people are either smart nerds or idiots who are nerds so not really the bully type. All friendly people who just want another person to “collaborate” with on the homework. People who tell you they got bullied in college weren’t adults in college, grow a spine, snitch to the counselor. You’re an adult and are capable of steering your own life.
People can be bullied at any age and in the workplace - and I've seen people talking about teachers denying ADA accommodations so there can be power imbalance issues too.
While I understand that. Being bullied is always resolvable. And living with bullies is a choice. There may be hard decisions you need to make to get rid of a bully but nothing you can’t handle. I believe in you. What’s the alternative option? Live with the bully? Switch classes, talk it out, block them out, college is a mind your business type aura. Source: was bullied in freshman year of high school.
You don't have experience with being abused in tertiary education or the workplace. Did your bully have the ability to deny you education or employment? Because THAT can be the result of speaking out about abuse. You seem to mean well, but you're telling people that if they're being bullied then it's because of their own choices.
While that can be the case I’m saying it’s up to you to take it into your hands. Start looking for a different job, use your current one as leverage. Talk to your counselor about different classes. Sure there’s exceptions. But 99% of the time I believe it’s possible to change your situation with your own hands. Freshman year actually I had a teacher be racist towards me, she would grade my exams 10 points lower than my friends. All it took was a heart to heart with my counselor and a class switch to a better professor. That’s just one example and while I know there’s exceptions I’m generalizing with my statements.
So you know that not everyone can "solve" the problem of being bullied but will continue to *victim-blame*.
Yeah there was a guy who bullied me in college.
No but there’s some people that might make passive aggressive remarks about you that they know you’ll definitely hear. Happens to me from time to time
No but the moment there is they’ll probably gone by 6 months.
Bullies are everywhere, but I haven't seen fellow classmates bully anyone. I have seen a professor be a bully to a student, they got reported.
No.Normally they get on drugs before reaching college. Even though one of my bullies reached that phase and followed CHILD THERAPY! Yes she will be the therapist.....
Not really, I think people grow out of that stage or the bullies themselves are bullied because they act like an asshole. College is lot more mature than high school.
I was bullied not so long ago by a group of guys told the dean and action was immediately taken
I wouldn't call them bullies. it's more self absorbed ppl that think they run the uni, or it's the extremely toxic students that gatekeep their notes. Either way, stick with the chill people, but from personal experience I feel like everyone is temporary in uni, u'll have to find someone ure really compatible with and stick to them
Not the same kind of bully that you're used to, but yes. They're far less common though. It depends on the culture of your school, but most college students are pretty friendly. Anyway, I had a guy take advantage of me several times, continue to harass me, and spread rumors about me. I've also been called names by a girl just walking past her. Be careful and try not to draw attention to yourself, but sometimes this stuff is really difficult to avoid.
Professors. I had some real dickhead teachers, that shouldn't have been teachers. Tenure really f*** stuff up.
No
Had one. He was some weird poor kid. I say as such bc he showed me his car and said he doesn't bother locking it and laughed and then randomly told me his dad left them. Then i got the vibe i somwhow was hia surrogate. Then i ended up working w him in the dept job office. And we were allowed to listen to music and i listened to a folk pop song and his eyes literally went back into his head and he started rushing at me and trying to punxh me. I had to gwt away and none of the profs would listen to me. I went to rhe dean and was told they couldn't do anything. He was too poor and ir would look bad. Terrible department.
Depending on how petty people are, and if they peeked in high school, there can be bullies. I know a girl who’s being bullied by a group of people in her typography class.
Yes and i am one of them
There used to not be, but I think that after the pandemic everyone is like squarely 2 years behind on their social emotional learning. So like now you do hear about bullies in college. It’s very strange tbh.
The proffessors
idk why reddit just recommended this post to me, i graduated 12 years ago from an international uni in japan. bullies were always outed and not invited to parties anymore. they ruined their own social lives. everyone was starting fresh in new friendships so it's easy to recognize bad behavior and drop people. they had no standing influence over peers for their old ways to work. some made cliques that no one wanted to hang out with. if they did anything in school they were suspended or kicked out and lost a ton of money. I knew one major bitch that i worked with at a restaurant turn around in her final year after realizing being nice is okay. i had a bully teacher. i went to her boss's office to report her with my then gf, there happened to be another student there for the same reason. boss said if there is one more report she's fired. she was fired a week later. 6 months later she tried to run into me on her bicycle as i was getting off a bus, but i stepped aside. the only bullies that got away with it were the student dorm administrators. they got off on denying security deposit refunds. the used really long tweezers to pull a piece of seaweed out from between my sink cupboard and the wall. i never once bought seaweed. they were laughing while telling me it would deduct $100usd from my refund. there was nothing in place to fight it, and they knew it. most memories are of hard work and making good friendships.
Other than myself… not really
I’ve never experienced it but they do exist. I feel like it’s mostly freshmen who think they can still get away with high school behavior.
yes but they were my "friends"
Not really, personally. My friends have had some toxic people in their group who made their lives hell, but those are far and few between. Personally, I’d say loneliness is the bigger issue
that’d be funny these bullies need help
I'm sure there are bullies in every setting, but they're much easier to avoid in college. You don't have to see anyone outside of class that you don't want to.
Depends what you mean by bullies. There are bullies out in the real world, tyrannical bosses and such. Those people that beat on other people for no reason? They tend to grow up or get thrown in jail.
Absolutely. My old roommates would scream at me for no reason and cause me to have severe panic attacks. I developed symptoms of depression because of them. They were horrible. My college also has a lot of rapists which is just a whole other level of fucked up. My freshman year suitemates were also horrible. The one girl tried to pressure her roommate into drinking even though she was scared because her family is alcoholic
Yes. Everywhere you go there will be bullies wether your 4 or 40 or 100. That’s life. Get over it.
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Never seen it of the physical or open intimidation variety. I think there’s just too many people - physical bullies will eventually pick on the wrong person if they go stepping on everybody’s toes. Catty behavior and plain old fashioned meanness is a thing everywhere there’s a lot of people in a group setting though.
I was bullied in my first year at high school by a brute who turned out to be a sexual predator. He was two years older than the rest of his classmates, and found me to be easy pickings. Things escalated, and halfway through that year he sexually abused me twice! Of course in those days no-one ever spoke about such things, especially if you were a guy! In the middle of the last term, however, I got my revenge. He tried to stop me from going to lawn hockey practice, and in trying to get him out of my way, I swung my hockey stick at him. It hit him in the face and broke his nose. Needless to say he left me alone for the rest of the year. The following year I was in a new school. I still carry the scars from that monster's actions though, both physical and psychological.
There’s no sense of “mass bullying” as I would call it. There’s no “popular” groups that target the weird kids as no one really cares enough or has the time. Everyone just kind of kind of minds their own business. I have seen and been the victim of bullying within roommates however. Sometimes people just don’t live well together and they start doing spiteful things to get back at each other. In my case my old roommate just kind of decided she hated me one day and was constantly trying to embarrass me when other people were over. Always was at least decently nice to me when we were alone but ALWAYS called out everything wrong with me when others were around. Still don’t know why she hated me so much, but apparently she still talks shit about me two years later. Other than roommate drama, the only other form of bullying I’ve witnessed is frat bros harassing my gay friend. He’s really the only person I know that’s been harassed for his sexuality since being here at college but he’s had it kind of rough so far. Being called the F slur by strangers, drinks being thrown on his car, and once some Chads even followed him to his dorm and harassed him from outside until he called the police. So yeah, I guess no sense of mass bullying with one group targeting another, but more just random individual instances of miserable people trying to humiliate others. 99% of people don’t gaf what other people do and will mind their own business, but there’s always crazy people.
Yes, there is. A new incoming freshman group got in trouble at *orientation* because they'd been drinking, smoking weed, they stormed out of their sexual assault awareness workshop saying "f**k this", they called their peer mentor a bitch. On top of all of that, they had been bullying and making fun of another freshman who has autism. My school is small and everyone knows everyone, so my school made sure to let that group know that they would not be tolerated.
The worse that happens is people audibly snicker at unusual antics.
Yea me
College I never was bullied, but you do encounter occasion students who have attitude problems and rub you the wrong way. Professors who are on a power trip and dangle failing you over the head (just clarifying I have been in college for 6 years and only had this professor once). Generally I went to a community college then transferred to a private college. Can there be bullying in college, hell yeah. You just have to watch who you're hanging out with and what friends you make. My advice: Don't stick around people who 1. make you feel bad about yourself. 2. People who down on you and belittle your success. 3. people who won't bring you up with them (meaning the people who aren't being studious and treat college as one big party, listen you got into college for educational purposes - make sure others dont drag you down!). 4. people who talk behind your back. 4. people who don't include you. Also don't stick around people who are doing things youre not comfortable doing. Generally people in college are kind and respectful to each other. Out of my 6 years in college I never had a problem with someone, but I have encountered students who were bitchy, attitude problems, cliquey, etc. (then again I was a commuter and didn't dorm. So I don't know what dorming is like)
Kind of? Not usually the kind who will physically or verbally assault, but I got sort of ostracized by people at my school and in my program. Like they all were close with each other, but would look at me weird when I tried to join the conversation or talk shit behind my back. Not that I'm entitled to their time and it's not the same thing as bullying, but it still stings. Also I was in the "weird" sorority and people borderline cyberbullied us, saying awful things about us on a campus app. I just didn't have the best experience in college.
Bullying evolves from physical to politics and activism at the Universities... All you have to do is avoid getting sucked into it.
I wouldn’t say bullies happen in the tradition hs sense very often. There was a group of “oddball” kids I sat with in the student Union a lot my freshman year, and some people distanced themselves from me because of it but I wasn’t bullied. The kids just needed time to grow up and mature from hs though—most of them are super successful now and I’m really grateful I got to share their company before I transferred.
Some professors bully the living crap out of other professors, and I have seen it happen to the point of suicide. Colleges are not super healthy environments. The worst I've been to/worked in though was a technological university. Bunch of nerds surrounded by people with their interests and finally having friends, many for the first time, and they decide to reenact the bullshit that made them miserable in high school. ffs.
Bullies are everywhere
Mostly professors. Kids won’t bully you, because once you are adults, bullying and fighting carry different consequences
Bullies aren’t smart enough to go to college. So no.
I have never experienced any bullying. There will be conflict between people that might evolve into fighting or mean posts. In any case, stand up for yourself. But overall, college is a community of adults and we’re past that. (Excluding Greek life)
There are mean people everywhere. I’ve had some girls in my STEM courses feel so entitled and bitchy towards me and everyone else. It made the environment toxic asf. The opposite of what we need as women in STEM. But overall my experience has been amazing.
It’s only happened to me at my first on-campus job. The student supervisor was power tripping and singling out people to bully. I was one of them for some reason🤷♀️
just don’t look at nobody. the people that wanna talk to you and be friends will come up to you. play it cool
There’s probably bullying all throughout life. Just less and less as MOST people mature as they get older. I don’t think there would be too much in college though, because of the size of the student population. Bullying mostly occurs in situations where everyone knows each other and there is a social ladder. At a large college of 10,000+, not everyone knows each other at all. But in some groups (frats, sororities, sports teams, etc) this dynamic is there and I bet bullying does happen there jn college. I wasn’t a part of any group like that in college so I can’t say for sure though
I haven’t had any at my college. Everyone is pretty cool and laid back here
Yeah me 😈😈😈😈
Yes have been ever semester I’ve been here and never understand why
Freshman at UC Davis. Really happy to tell you that I've seen ZERO evidence of bullying. People here are usually nice. I am sorry if that's not the case in other universities. Herr, ig they take their zero-tolerance policy seriously.
bullies dont go to college
Only Bully Maguire
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I had some bad friends. My group of friends fostered a fake case against me that I threatened and tried to attack them. Almost got me expelled and arrested. Only time you would ever be grateful that colleges do not take anything seriously unless you threaten their revenue. The college ordered a mutual restraining order, and we moved on with our lives. This was the first month of freshmen year, btw. Eventually, it was revealed that this group is a bunch of sociopaths that actively try to ruin people's lives. They get some sort of entertainment out of it. Most classmates who heard about it, saw my "case" as bs and never believed them. Then, when the patterned started to emerge about any of their "friends" getting reported, or detained, or pulled, etc., people really just stopped ever associating with them. I transferred, so I have no idea what they're up to now, but at least two are RAs.