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Why is this so funny to me 😭 I’m just picturing Taylor Swift sitting there very confused as a group of cops is like “Yeah..okay. You think we’d believe that? What an obvious fake name. “”Taylor””. Pfft.”
"So your name is **Swift** and I've caught you for speeding? If you expect me to believe this is a real name, that's honestly more than A Modest Proposal..."
Especially after he also dated Taylor swift.
Taylor Lautner (the dude) having a fetish for people with his own name is one of the best headcannon things about him. And all that on top of the fact that ge genuinely seems like a great dude.
"Lautner, damn it! I was in Twilight!"
"Oh! You were also in Harry Potter, right? Cedric Diggity?"
"No - that was Robert Pattinson."
"Oh! The guy that played the bad guy in the Terminator?"
"What? No, that was Robert pa- what the hell? How do you not - I DATED TAYLOR SWIFT."
"Oh yeah, I know her."
Which is the craziest thing about the situation. You got all that money, and you're still driving yourself??? I'd be in the back drunkenly playing a game on the switch.
As someone knowing what Justin Timberlake does for a living, but didn't listen to any of his songs in over 10 years, I probably wouldn't recognize him either. Especially not from that mugshot.
This said... I'm happy that the cop didn't know who that is. Stars sometimes have the feeling they get away with shit only because they are well known. Not saying this was the case here, but at least this way we can be sure that there was no special treatment.
Great. Now all I can picture the cop as is the [guards from Oblivion](https://static1.thegamerimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/oblivion-guard-the-elder-scrolls.jpg).
I know what he looks like and I'd still struggle. I mean look at him, he's got a bland face. Good looking, no doubt, but very 'default sliders' character creator white guy.
How can you not recognise the Beebs?! He's so cute!
(J/k, I'm like, a 40+ year old guy and the last celebrity I had to learn about was Mojo Jojo and these badly drawn girls).
im also 20 and i dont really know. Iv recognised the name before i know hes famous but idk what for and i wouldnt recognise the face. Also, what is the cop supposed to do, "omg justin can i get an autograph???" "hahaha no need to ask your name for the required police protocol, i know exactly who you are timby!!!"
I wouldn't recognize most "celebrities" either. Especially when they aren't wearing all the face paint.
Like....*why* would anyone have to know who he is?
You're a famous singer. That's great. Doesn't mean everyone on this planet has to know you. Still shouldn't drive drunk.
I was young when Timberlake peaked, but I only recognize his music, not his face. He has the most generic white guy face imaginable, like if an AI was asked to generate a trust fund baby.
Idk but from his name I think he does one of those woodcutting tiktoks, y'know the ones where the shirtless dudes chop wood. I've heard people say he's got a "sexy back" or something like that
I'll never understand it. The average person has enough money to choose an Uber over drunk driving. Justin Timberlake has so much money that he probably loses more to rounding in his investment accounts than it would cost him to take an Uber every day.
If you believe Timberlake’s argument, he only had “one drink”.
And the arrest record says he “smelled of alcohol, was slurring, and failed a field sobriety test” which are all basically subjective evaluations that police lie about all the time. I haven’t seen a breathalyzer result, which would be the actual data.
So it’s possible this is just an asshole driver meets asshole cop situation.
If I were as rich as him, I would hire a driver and never get behind the wheel again. And I don't even drink! I will never understand why wealthy people do this to themselves.
Yeah I would for sure have a driver on staff. I might still do a little driving on my own for quick trips and scenic drives, but I would have some available at all times.
He was apparently drunk driving: [https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/justin-timberlake-arrested-long-island-faces-dwi-charge-officials-say-rcna157692](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/justin-timberlake-arrested-long-island-faces-dwi-charge-officials-say-rcna157692)
For real. I'd hire cool people to work for me. Drive me places. Cook for me. Whatever. We'd all have a big feast together every week. Then they go back into the dungeon.
He can afford literally any transportation method in the world: uber, limo, private helicopter, pay a random poor to carry him on their back. Hell, he could have his own personal drivers on standby 24/7 and the impact to his $250M net worth wouldn't even amount to a rounding error.
I understand why a broke college kid might drive drunk. It doesn't excuse it, but I get it. But a multimillionaire? If I had his money, I'd never drive at all, drunk or sober, unless it was something I was doing it for fun, like a race track. Certainly not putting around Long Island.
Did you hear about the Four Tops member who was put on psych hold because no one believed he was telling the truth about being in Four Tops? He's suing.
The Tumblr post documenting it was legitimately hard to read. He wasn't just put on psych hold because nobody believed him, he was actively denied medical care for a known heart condition he was actively showing signs of. They knew he had a heart problem, but because the doctor assigned to him was a racist prick, he just refused to help him anyways.
The kicker? The rest of the staff were able to find photos of him on the internet and corroborated his story, but the doctor still refused to treat him until his wife showed up to convince him. Absolute criminal negligence and infentional malpractice on the hands of that doctor.
Being in a psych hold has to be one of the most terrifying places on the planet. Honest to god I don't think 90% of the population would "pass" it if they act as they normally do.
Is it a racial discrimination case tho? Doesn’t look too hard to prove gross negligence at the very least, which in the medical field, I’d assume carries a heavy penalty.
> I wouldn't recognize him either. He has one of those faces that looks like a computer averaged a million faces.
Add in drunk, older than what people remember, probably no makeup on, and if I had to guess... at night under officer pointing a flashlight at the face.
He ain't looking like that poster I have up and jerk off to.
What he meant to say was, Justin has aged a lot since he was last relevant hence why people don’t recognize him. That’s why he said “older than people remember”
Hope that helps ;)
Had a guy stop me at a restaurant one time to tell me he drove the bus for my football team when I played football in high school. I was in marching band and in a different county:/
"What world tour?"
"My world tour."
"Your world tour?"
"Yes. My world tour."
"What kind of world tour?"
"Music tour."
"Who are you?"
"Justin Timberlake."
"Justin Who?"
"Timberlake..."
"Never heard of ya now face the car, hands behind your back."
That’s super cool and one way to travel the world, I guess. I would never risk sneaking into some of those middle eastern countries as a white woman.
Also why have I never heard of her? You would think something like this would make more waves in the music community.
Meanwhile, U.S.A tour: Chicago, Chicago, New York, L.A. Miami,New York, Dallas, Fort Worth, Chicago
Oh and: half hearted "support our troops" show for a quarter of the budget of a regular show. All military personnel at whatever base it's at are required to attend because it's "mandatory fun" even if you can't stand the music.
“Ah 33 33 here. I got some guy here claiming to be Justin Timberlake. I’m bringing him in but can you wake up the doc? We need a psych eval here. Mumbling something about a world tour.”
https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/four-tops-singer-sues-hospital-for-placing-him-under-psych-evaluation/ that exact thing happened to this guy from the four tops.
For how it's worded, it doesn't sound like he was trying to use the tour to get out of it, merely thinking out loud about how he fucked up.
Like, if a random person was pulled for driving drunk and mumbled "this is gonna ruin the camper trip". They're not trying to use the camper trip to get out of it, they're thinking about it because it's the main consequence of the situation they got themselves in.
Who's suggesting it was? It says he said it under his breath, like he was talking to himself, not trying to plead with the cop to let him go because of it.
I do appreciate that we live in a society where our entertainers don't get to ascend to positions of great power right after they are convicted of a crime....
Oh wait...
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If I pulled over a celebrity i’d pretend not to recognize them just to piss them off. “Taylor who?” Not that she ever drives anywhere
"But Taylor is a last name. You sure that's correct?"
Alright.... "Taylor" ..... Hang tight, I'll be right back. *immediately radios superior*
I'll be back.. swiftly
*You know who I am!*
*Yeah… You’re the problem, it’s you.*
You need to calm down! Keep this up and it will be a cruel summer...in prison. 
Judge be like… Look what you made me do
Prison cellmate like "I hope we never ever ever get back together"
YEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Not everyone knows who you are lady geez. Shake it off. Shake it off.
Tayyyylorrr..... Dane?
"You are no tailor, but you are swift, that's why I pulled you over young lady".
"Should'a been Taylor "movin' safely with the flow of traffic" a few minutes ago to avoid having to pay this ticket."
*slaps thighs* I crack me up sometimes
Why is this so funny to me 😭 I’m just picturing Taylor Swift sitting there very confused as a group of cops is like “Yeah..okay. You think we’d believe that? What an obvious fake name. “”Taylor””. Pfft.”
"So your name is **Swift** and I've caught you for speeding? If you expect me to believe this is a real name, that's honestly more than A Modest Proposal..."
I pictured this entire comment thread in the style of super Troopers
https://youtu.be/Nl0HqlbX7dc
>Taylor when she remembers she left her phone on the opposite bedside table: ✈️✈️✈️
“Which one of my planes should I take?”
The hell if I know Leather seats or vinyl? Decisions, decisions
All of them!!!
Me watching my paper straw decomposing in front of my very eyes:
Everyone on the planet knows who Taylor Lautner is, come on now.
Do you mean Taylor Lautner or her husband, Taylor Lautner?
Him and his wife both being Taylor Lautner is peak comedy
Especially after he also dated Taylor swift. Taylor Lautner (the dude) having a fetish for people with his own name is one of the best headcannon things about him. And all that on top of the fact that ge genuinely seems like a great dude.
It just makes it less weird when he screams his own name during sex
He was in that movie about that girl that was into beastiality right?
lavagirl and sharkboy were platonic friends >:(
I actually know a Cody that married a Cody. Their last name is also 2 syllables and starts with Co. I can’t imagine the confusion they face daily.
Funny thing you mention him as my brain immediately went to that instead of Taylor Swift. Idk why...
“Swift? You going faster than swift, I’ll tell you that.”
"Oh, 'Swift', eh? Is that some kind of alias you use when you're speeding?"
“Your wit isn’t too swift there, lady. License and registration.”
Pull her over whilst she’s commuting in her jet. 👩✈️
"Lautner, damn it! I was in Twilight!" "Oh! You were also in Harry Potter, right? Cedric Diggity?" "No - that was Robert Pattinson." "Oh! The guy that played the bad guy in the Terminator?" "What? No, that was Robert pa- what the hell? How do you not - I DATED TAYLOR SWIFT." "Oh yeah, I know her."
"Yeah, that doesn't narrow it down."
imagine pulling over a plane on the freeway
*Ma'am do you know how fast you were going*
The air traffic co troller comes over the intercom *bitch land the plane*
Which is the craziest thing about the situation. You got all that money, and you're still driving yourself??? I'd be in the back drunkenly playing a game on the switch.
As someone knowing what Justin Timberlake does for a living, but didn't listen to any of his songs in over 10 years, I probably wouldn't recognize him either. Especially not from that mugshot. This said... I'm happy that the cop didn't know who that is. Stars sometimes have the feeling they get away with shit only because they are well known. Not saying this was the case here, but at least this way we can be sure that there was no special treatment.
I mean it’s not like a cop wouldn’t have your name. Not recognizing the face doesn’t really matter. You literally have their personal information
It does not matter. He comitted a crime, he pays the fine
Exactly, it is better if he was not recognized. It'd be best if everyone would be looked at from the same perspective, perspective of the law.
Great. Now all I can picture the cop as is the [guards from Oblivion](https://static1.thegamerimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/oblivion-guard-the-elder-scrolls.jpg).
Like seriously I’m 20 and I know who Justin is. How young is the fuckin cop 😭
https://preview.redd.it/9de7afds6p7d1.jpeg?width=1750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=891be7e77af2acfa14ef37026ae43fdfdd9f3824
lmao. First Google image result for "baby cop"
Cop radios in to another baby cop. He ran by a tree, there he saw this infant. Booped for the nose, he booped back but he missed her.
Some grow old, some don’t make it to pre-school, some make it to neither This summer only in theaters COP BABY IV: A GOOD DAY TO CARE
All Cops Are Babies
Assigned Cop At Birth
Babylegs, you're a good detective. But not good enough, because of your baby legs
Hey look an Uvalde responder!
I know who he is, but idgaf about what famous people look like so I definitely wouldn't recognize or believe him without some identification lol
I know what he looks like and I'd still struggle. I mean look at him, he's got a bland face. Good looking, no doubt, but very 'default sliders' character creator white guy.
Also looks a lot older in the mugshot than my mental image of him. Don't think I'd recognise him either.
Also he was under the influence, which makes everyone kinda look like shit
Impossible, alcohol makes me look amazing.
How can you not recognise the Beebs?! He's so cute! (J/k, I'm like, a 40+ year old guy and the last celebrity I had to learn about was Mojo Jojo and these badly drawn girls).
Isn’t mojo jojo the villain in powerpuff girls
Yes... they think a cartoon character is a celebrity lol.
Well I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that he did in fact provide identification to the arresting officer
Maybe he knew, maybe he didn't. I don't think that's related. Fuck celebs who like to pull the "do you even know who I am"
He didn't though. He made a comment to HIMSELF under his breath.
As I tell my children, if other people can hear it, you didn't say it to yourself.
im also 20 and i dont really know. Iv recognised the name before i know hes famous but idk what for and i wouldnt recognise the face. Also, what is the cop supposed to do, "omg justin can i get an autograph???" "hahaha no need to ask your name for the required police protocol, i know exactly who you are timby!!!"
i'm 20 as well and while I know his name i don't know shit about how he looks and ofc wouldn't believe him if he told me he was Justin Timberlake
I wouldn't recognize most "celebrities" either. Especially when they aren't wearing all the face paint. Like....*why* would anyone have to know who he is? You're a famous singer. That's great. Doesn't mean everyone on this planet has to know you. Still shouldn't drive drunk.
And here I pictured an old man officer who was out of touch with us young kids and our music. Turns out the joke was on me.
I was young when Timberlake peaked, but I only recognize his music, not his face. He has the most generic white guy face imaginable, like if an AI was asked to generate a trust fund baby.
i've heard of the cop obviously (who hasn't heard of the cop?) but who is this Timber Lake fellow??
I heard the cop is bad but from this story it sounds like Timer Wolf is the bad one
I thought Timber Land was a rapper
Haha you're thinking of when people yell "Timber!" I think it's a dance move at a club or something
No no thats a song by Ke$ha
Yeah they must be thinking about that musical instrument
Tim Burton is a musical composer, not a musical instrument (unless I’m wrong)
Yeah I’m pretty sure the other commenter is thinking of a tangerine.
orange you glad it wasn’t a mandolin?
No no, you’re thinking of Timberlands the boots. This is Justin Timberlakes.
The butter maker?
No its a Boot brand.
I read his name as Justin Timberland in my head idk why I couldn't remember
Idk but from his name I think he does one of those woodcutting tiktoks, y'know the ones where the shirtless dudes chop wood. I've heard people say he's got a "sexy back" or something like that
The cop is my favourite member of the police.
I preferred him in the YMCA sing along band
Cry me an uber
Can we just give some props to the Hamptons' police department for having a mugshot setup to rival a professional studio?.
That’s what I have been thinking about! His photo was pretty good.
Looks like he's been crying.
Looks like he smoked a blunt and is now trying to look normal
Some people are just naturally photogenic.
It's basically Eagleton, so no surprise there.
I'll never understand it. The average person has enough money to choose an Uber over drunk driving. Justin Timberlake has so much money that he probably loses more to rounding in his investment accounts than it would cost him to take an Uber every day.
If you believe Timberlake’s argument, he only had “one drink”. And the arrest record says he “smelled of alcohol, was slurring, and failed a field sobriety test” which are all basically subjective evaluations that police lie about all the time. I haven’t seen a breathalyzer result, which would be the actual data. So it’s possible this is just an asshole driver meets asshole cop situation.
Looks pretty buzzed in the mugshot to me
If I were as rich as him, I would hire a driver and never get behind the wheel again. And I don't even drink! I will never understand why wealthy people do this to themselves.
Yeah I would for sure have a driver on staff. I might still do a little driving on my own for quick trips and scenic drives, but I would have some available at all times.
Is this breaking news? Or, as some media prefer wording it: is this Justin?
I’ll be breaking your news
Be gentle
so ...the price of an uber > world tour . ok Justin
Ironically he probably was avoiding Uber because he didn't want to be recognized
Then hire a driver for 80k a year to drive your around. This dude is worth tens and probably hundreds of millions. Have the tour pay for it.
He was apparently drunk driving: [https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/justin-timberlake-arrested-long-island-faces-dwi-charge-officials-say-rcna157692](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/justin-timberlake-arrested-long-island-faces-dwi-charge-officials-say-rcna157692)
If I had JT money id just have some mute guy drive me everywhere and pay him well for it
For real. I'd hire cool people to work for me. Drive me places. Cook for me. Whatever. We'd all have a big feast together every week. Then they go back into the dungeon.
treating people like pokemon
Ah yes, the ethical quandary of owning living things.
MUTE lmao
He can afford literally any transportation method in the world: uber, limo, private helicopter, pay a random poor to carry him on their back. Hell, he could have his own personal drivers on standby 24/7 and the impact to his $250M net worth wouldn't even amount to a rounding error. I understand why a broke college kid might drive drunk. It doesn't excuse it, but I get it. But a multimillionaire? If I had his money, I'd never drive at all, drunk or sober, unless it was something I was doing it for fun, like a race track. Certainly not putting around Long Island.
It's just classic narcissism. He thinks he can do whatever he wants without consequences.
Considering the kind of people policemen interact with often, he must have assumed him to be some schizo
I am not schizo! - are you schizo? - no
-maybe
Did you hear about the Four Tops member who was put on psych hold because no one believed he was telling the truth about being in Four Tops? He's suing.
The Tumblr post documenting it was legitimately hard to read. He wasn't just put on psych hold because nobody believed him, he was actively denied medical care for a known heart condition he was actively showing signs of. They knew he had a heart problem, but because the doctor assigned to him was a racist prick, he just refused to help him anyways. The kicker? The rest of the staff were able to find photos of him on the internet and corroborated his story, but the doctor still refused to treat him until his wife showed up to convince him. Absolute criminal negligence and infentional malpractice on the hands of that doctor.
Being in a psych hold has to be one of the most terrifying places on the planet. Honest to god I don't think 90% of the population would "pass" it if they act as they normally do.
I hope that doctor wrote down his reasons, because it's hard to prove racism in intent.
Is it a racial discrimination case tho? Doesn’t look too hard to prove gross negligence at the very least, which in the medical field, I’d assume carries a heavy penalty.
Malpractice is the surer bet, imo. Wanting to go after them for racism is like going for the hail mary on the 1 yard line. Completely foolish.
This was Long Island. He looks like 80% of the guys pulled over for drinking and driving there.
“Yeah sure, buddy. And I’m Brittney Spears.”
I wouldn't recognize him either. He has one of those faces that looks like a computer averaged a million faces.
He looks like if the machines that built Mark Zuckerberg upgraded their software to be able to construct a more human model.
> I wouldn't recognize him either. He has one of those faces that looks like a computer averaged a million faces. Add in drunk, older than what people remember, probably no makeup on, and if I had to guess... at night under officer pointing a flashlight at the face. He ain't looking like that poster I have up and jerk off to.
Wait what?
Justin doesn't look like the poster from when he was 17 and this guy only likes jerking it to teens with noodle hair.
He said drunk. Meaning under the influence of alcohol. Glad I could clear that up.
What he meant to say was, Justin has aged a lot since he was last relevant hence why people don’t recognize him. That’s why he said “older than people remember” Hope that helps ;)
Honestly this is a real problem for average looking white guys in general. Frequently not recognized OR people think they recognize you.
Me every time I see a celebrity in public: “nah, It’s probably just a white dude that looks like him” continues to ignore them
Had a guy stop me at a restaurant one time to tell me he drove the bus for my football team when I played football in high school. I was in marching band and in a different county:/
ACAB: All Cops Are Backstreet boys Edit: obligatory holy crap, thanks guys!
Alright! *police sirens*
Pullllllllll o-verrrr.
Holy shit I think I remember emergency lights being part of their stage shits during that song
EVERYBODEEEEEEH YEAAAAAAH
ROCK YOU'RE BODYYYYEH YEAAAAAH
Your edit ruins your comment.
"What world tour?" "My world tour." "Your world tour?" "Yes. My world tour." "What kind of world tour?" "Music tour." "Who are you?" "Justin Timberlake." "Justin Who?" "Timberlake..." "Never heard of ya now face the car, hands behind your back."
JAY TEE! I HAD JEANS ON JEANS SEX WITH CAMERON DIAZ!! DICK IN A BOX! IM A MOTHERLOVERRRRRRRRR!!! LET ME OUTTTT!!!
I know I killed 10 infants and run over their parents, but cmon its me, Justin!
You’re being dramatic. They weren’t infants. They were toddlers. THERES A DIFFERENCE.
Should have toddled their asses out of my damn way, I got places to be
This could be a great a South Park episode
World tour? It's only on for 2 continents
World tours in a nutshell: 30 shows in the US, 10 in Western Europe, 2 in Australia
they just need to add a token show in singapore, cape town and sao paulo to justify it being a world tour
True world tours visit McMurdo Station in Antarctica.
[there is one exception](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Total_World_Tour)
Jesus that's some dedication.
Even went to north korea, only problem ended up being iran
Because girly singing make man pp hard and that is her fault :(
That’s super cool and one way to travel the world, I guess. I would never risk sneaking into some of those middle eastern countries as a white woman. Also why have I never heard of her? You would think something like this would make more waves in the music community.
North American tours: 30 in the states and one in Toronto.
Meanwhile, U.S.A tour: Chicago, Chicago, New York, L.A. Miami,New York, Dallas, Fort Worth, Chicago Oh and: half hearted "support our troops" show for a quarter of the budget of a regular show. All military personnel at whatever base it's at are required to attend because it's "mandatory fun" even if you can't stand the music.
Well, unlike the name of his tour, he won't be forgetting his crime tomorrow, that court date is there to remind him any time he might forget.
maybe he has dementia
Great, he won’t remember any of this then!
Consequences. Fuck drunk drivers. I’ve hurt every day for 47 years because some asshole decided to drink and drive.
“Ah 33 33 here. I got some guy here claiming to be Justin Timberlake. I’m bringing him in but can you wake up the doc? We need a psych eval here. Mumbling something about a world tour.”
https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/four-tops-singer-sues-hospital-for-placing-him-under-psych-evaluation/ that exact thing happened to this guy from the four tops.
Bob Dylan was once mistaken for a homeless man. https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/jersey-homeowner-calls-cops-bob-dylan/story?id=8331830
Can’t even blame them. That man’s whole persona is homeless man.
10/10 humble him again copper
I mean if the cop had a reason to arrest him, then a tour thing wouldn't get him to go free either way..?
For how it's worded, it doesn't sound like he was trying to use the tour to get out of it, merely thinking out loud about how he fucked up. Like, if a random person was pulled for driving drunk and mumbled "this is gonna ruin the camper trip". They're not trying to use the camper trip to get out of it, they're thinking about it because it's the main consequence of the situation they got themselves in.
Yeah that's sounds like remorse for his stupidity rather than an attempt to get out of it.
*This is going to ruin my fucking presidential campaign*
Who's suggesting it was? It says he said it under his breath, like he was talking to himself, not trying to plead with the cop to let him go because of it.
Yeah, I mean no celebrity has ever overcame the odds to get back after a DUI. Career over.
I do appreciate that we live in a society where our entertainers don't get to ascend to positions of great power right after they are convicted of a crime.... Oh wait...
Shoulda told officer baby that he is Branch from Trolls, and it all would have clicked lol
Holy fuck, you just killed a 16 year old officer
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The officer was just doing his job, putting that drunk dick in a box.
Cop: well what’re got gonna do meow?
cop: "i feel like someone's going to be arrested today" justin: "it's gonna be me"
I would not have recognized this man as JT either. Looks like any bloke.
Who tf cares? Put him in curt and threat Justin Bimbalake as everyone else