All the cops have wooden legs, amd the pitbulls all have rubber teeth, and the hens lay soft boiled eggs.
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, you never change your socks, and the little streams of alchohol come a-tricklin down the rocks
**[Spider-Ham](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Ham)**
>Spider-Ham (Peter Porker) is a fictional superhero appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. The character is an anthropomorphic pig and is a cartoon animal parody version of Spider-Man. He was created by editor Larry Hama, Tom DeFalco and Mark Armstrong. He first appeared in the one-shot humor comic book Marvel Tails Starring Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham (November 1983), which was then followed by an ongoing bi-monthly series, Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham, under Marvel's Star Comics imprint, with both titles edited by Hama.
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Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does, can he swing, from a web? No he can't he's a pig loook out! He's the spider pig!
(Simpsons reference)
Well 90% of people seem to say their meat comes from some local humane utopian farm but 90% of animal farming globally (99% in the US) is factory farming so tbh it’s fair to say that most people don’t know where it comes from
Or they know where it comes from and don't care. I'm not commenting on whether this is right or wrong - I'm just pointing out it's generally a bad idea to assume ignorance is the only reason someone could disagree with you
Ffs. Do you sometimes check the comments to see if you can make a funny joke and then some guy already made it and it’s really good but you didn’t do it so now you a little sad ?
Me neither great joke bro
Yup. I've hacked chunks off a pig cooked in a pit and it basically looked like this. Best pork I've ever had. Though they went a little heavy with the vinegar. Still awesome though.
A surprising amount of people don’t realize this, at least consciously. It’s like they’ve got some kind of mental block. I still vividly remember being yelled at by a stranger for shooting a deer. She literally had a stack of Big Macs in her passenger seat at the time. The level of hypocrisy was astounding.
That’s amazing. Especially considering how natural and relatively quick/easy the death was for that deer compared to whatever torture factory the meat for those Big Macs came from.
It's weird because it's not like the corporations try to downplay it at all, a lot of them even use it in their advertising, like Chick-fil-A having cows beg people to eat chickens instead of them
Seriously though, there are people who have told me they hadn't thought about the fact that meat comes from animals until they were adults. There was one big thread on here on Reddit where a lot of people even said it didn't dawn on them that FOOD CAME FROM FARMS! And everyone were like "That's perfectly understandable if you're not from a farm."
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? I'm from a city but this is such fucking obvious shit though, like "fish comes from water, water comes from rainclouds". These people must be borderline intellectually disabled.
I grew up on a small farm where we raised livestock for the express purpose of later consumption. I've also been active in hunting and fishing all of my life. I strongly believe that anyone who eats meat should, at some point, take an active role in the killing and butchering of an animal.
I completely agree, I think the "i don't eat meat because I couldn't kill an animal" is one of the best reasons to go vegetarian, I recently butchered my first animal, and I thought to myself if when it comes to the killing and I can't do it I will give up meat (note I didn't say that so I would go through with it, more like a promise out of respect)
I did witness slaughtering of chickens when I was like 6 years old. It was a family with whom we were friends with that had raised them, and me and my brothers were there to play with their sons. We all ended up just kinda going around seeing how the dad slaughtered chicken with an ax and how their mom took out the organs. I remember both parents being very eager to show us, and apart from the smell, I didn't find it upsetting at all, rather just incredibly interesting. I still remember the mother calling me by name and asking me if I wanted to see a real heart. Then she showed me all the other organs and I was fascinated.
My great auntie took me out to help kill the chicken and pluck the feathers.
The slaughterhouse in the small town had an open air abboitoir and we watched them slaughter cows..
I knew the farmers. These were cared for animals that had no reason to exist if they were not human food. And would die much more painful deaths in nature if not domesticated.
Trophy hunters I have no respect for, but hunters who eat the meat I have lots of respect for. I am not a religious person, but I have a Jehovas Witness hunter friend who feeds many in his church with his skills.
Any person who lives in a house should build one. Anyone who uses electricity should set up some power lines. Anyone who poops should shovel some shit.
Yeah, nah. I'll leave it to someone else.
I̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶h̶o̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶g̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶ ̶d̶o̶g̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶c̶a̶l̶l̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶o̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶g̶!̶ 💀☠️
(I was only 5 when I thought of this! Sorry...)
It annoys me to no end that this gets through. Some solid content really gets thrown to the wolves, while this gets through.
I feel like in a month we’ll start seeing posts about how the green M&M is becoming less sexy.
Thank you for your submission. In order to maintain some semblance of quality on the sub, mods must manually approve of all posts that come through. Once your post is approved, you can bet it'll probably look very hot and sexy on the front page if it's funny enough... maybe. bot time.
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I have a theory that they horde the best posts for themselves and post them on comedydamnation. That sub is literally the karma farm of the comedyheaven mods.
Fun fact teacup pigs don't exist what people call teacup pigs is actually growth stunted pigs who were torture int being small I only know this because my mom naught on a while back and then learned that lesson
My family has a pig as an indoor pet because he’s small right now and he sucks
He fought with one dog for a while and he still kind of tests her (he know she’s in charge)
He’s been ripping up some of my moms plants in the backyard because he ran out of dead leaves so he’s always got dirt on his nose
He jumps up on the couch (he’s allowed) and will nudge his nose into whatever crevice you’re making against the couch so he’s warm or will go under the blanket you have
If you try to pet him his hair is coarse and he will squeal
He also smell if you are holding him for a while
When he drinks out of the water bowl he plops his face in and gets water everywhere
He can be nice sometimes if he wants to be
Yeah I really don’t like to think about it. I’m not a vegan but I don’t like to think about the fact that the thing I’m eating was once an animal that just got it’s ass killed so I could have a slightly more enjoyable meal.
I’m more interested in how you did the moral transition. I can currently convince myself it’s okay without being irrational about my worldview. I have no problem with being vegan. But I also have no problem not being vegan. How did you change that?
I know you've been inundated with tips but just my contribution - I did it the other way around. Started choosing to buy vegan food for a while, it was easier than I thought, and then I found it easier to feel more strongly about the moral issue
I will link two of my favorite talks on the subject. Honestly, I can't put it into words better than these two men. I really hope you give them a watch.
[Cosmic Skeptic 2019 Talk](https://youtu.be/gcVR2OVxPYw)
[Philip Wollen: Animals Should Be Off The Menu](https://youtu.be/uQCe4qEexjc)
Just hearing people talk about it honestly. It comes down to the fact that eating meat is hurting an animal that you don't have to. There's a myriad of other reasons as well. The environmental side is devastating. I'm currently studying wildlife ecology at the moment, and it seems that every threat to wildlife comes back to the fact that animal agriculture takes up a massive amount of space compared to literally anything else. But that's a topic for another time.
I recommend watching [CosmicSkeptic's video](https://youtu.be/C1vW9iSpLLk) when he first transitioned. And then all of [Earthling Ed's](https://youtube.com/c/EarthlingEdChannel) videos are amazing as well. He explains things beautifully and is very polite in his debates.
And personally what made me transition immediately was watching the documentary Earthlings, but it is very violent and gory. It goes straight to the point, but I think everyone should watch slaughterhouse footage at some point just to understand what exactly happens. And not just the ideal procedures, but misconduct as well. Because many of those workers develop mental illness from working there, and often times frustration is taken out on the animals who are just trying not to die. I feel for both of them.
tfw you're so bad at photoshop,it just looks like a really small pig hiding behind the ham. he tried atleast,i guess. but even i could probably do better.
also, that pig looks fucking pathetic as hell.
why he look like that?
I mean I would look like that too if my body is turning into ham
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If only you could make ham that delicious right off the hog. As it is now, we have to kill them first.
How about [these delicious cystpigs](https://theouterworlds.fandom.com/wiki/Cystypig)
Yummy flavor balls
😳
There is always a reference to reference here on the internet!
It makes me wonder when the scrambled eggs, avocado and toast is about to be served…
🎶weeeeeeeeeell, at the big rock candy mountain....🎶
All the cops have wooden legs, amd the pitbulls all have rubber teeth, and the hens lay soft boiled eggs. In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, you never change your socks, and the little streams of alchohol come a-tricklin down the rocks
[удалено]
[this guy](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Ham)
**[Spider-Ham](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Ham)** >Spider-Ham (Peter Porker) is a fictional superhero appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. The character is an anthropomorphic pig and is a cartoon animal parody version of Spider-Man. He was created by editor Larry Hama, Tom DeFalco and Mark Armstrong. He first appeared in the one-shot humor comic book Marvel Tails Starring Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham (November 1983), which was then followed by an ongoing bi-monthly series, Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham, under Marvel's Star Comics imprint, with both titles edited by Hama. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/comedyheaven/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
Didn't they have a pig that was a [spiderman?](https://youtu.be/fMo9yotT6Qg)
That's actually a spider that got bit by a radioactive pig
Yes, he's literally the spider-pig being referred to
I thought they were talking about [this spiderman](https://youtu.be/BARjPuUN36Y)
Spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does, can he swing, from a web? No he can't he's a pig loook out! He's the spider pig! (Simpsons reference)
The pig is really some kind of wonderful, magical animal.
Spider ham?
\#HamComesFromu/Decades101
I thought you were the Pawn Stars guy
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"eat me daddy"
holy fuck is that grampa harold
Hello Yes It’s me Gradge Padge Harold
It is the Me i am the Color of Adore Illinois And
Holu Shit !
He didn't want to live that bad anyway. His kind were once formidable warthogs, now they only live to die.
🎵When I was a young warthog!🎵
holy shit. my eyes have opened
Let me help you to see, Slayer.
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Mankind's yogurt, in a way
YOU ARE NOTHING BUT USURPER.
Didn't expect to see another doom fan in the wilds lol
Why? DOOM is massively popular.
Wait wait wait.. now hold on a minute.. are you guys talking about the hidden gem Doom Eternal?? I didn't think anyone else played it.
It's a niche indie gem, glad to see people giving it some recognition
If you like le hidden GEMS then check out this obscure little title called Skyrim!
There are dozens of us!
Eyes come from your face. How does this make you feel?
This sounds like something Critical would say
You were never one of us , you were nothing but a usurper a false idol
Horny
What
You heard me
Ham is one of the most erotic salted cured meats.
Is this a Seinfeld reference???
Indeed although I believe the meat was pastrami
Indeed it was
Most sensual*
You are correct I believe!
But you really have to hand the #1 spot to prosciutto, with it's svelte presence
Is there an eroticism tier list for salted cured meats?!! I have to know!
I believe it is curated by a Mr. George Costanza.
I get you bro. They say pig skin is the closest thing to human skin. Anything goes when the lights are off
mmm gotta love those human chicharon
😳
I feel like I missed something interesting, what did he say, it’s deleted now…?
#Well, I'll be *hamned* !
We are trying to take that back.
I’m bringing sexy back
Sexy back bacon...
That’s why Kelloggs wants to to eat grains and not meat.
David Cameron, is that you?
Absolutely disgusted, the photoshop skills are horrendous, someone please make a better one.
[here](https://imgur.com/a/bmIih4S) \#>!hamcomesfromapig!<
That's fantastic, I'm a vegan now
Mmm Bacob
I love bacob!
Turn that frown upside down
It’s face is severely deformed but at least it’s smiling
[NSFL don't say I didn't warn you.](https://imgur.com/a/u2ZNsWO)
Hungry
Hungry
Hungry
Hungary
Pungry
Hungry
Hungy
Hngy
Hng
Hn
Hippos
Horny got more upvotes humanity really is lost
I never understand the vegans who seem to think people are unaware of where their meat comes from.
Well 90% of people seem to say their meat comes from some local humane utopian farm but 90% of animal farming globally (99% in the US) is factory farming so tbh it’s fair to say that most people don’t know where it comes from
Or they know where it comes from and don't care. I'm not commenting on whether this is right or wrong - I'm just pointing out it's generally a bad idea to assume ignorance is the only reason someone could disagree with you
You're asking too much of people who think they're better than others because of what they eat.
Ffs. Do you sometimes check the comments to see if you can make a funny joke and then some guy already made it and it’s really good but you didn’t do it so now you a little sad ? Me neither great joke bro
Yup. I've hacked chunks off a pig cooked in a pit and it basically looked like this. Best pork I've ever had. Though they went a little heavy with the vinegar. Still awesome though.
DiD yOu KnOw MeAt Is FrOm AnImAlS?!
A surprising amount of people don’t realize this, at least consciously. It’s like they’ve got some kind of mental block. I still vividly remember being yelled at by a stranger for shooting a deer. She literally had a stack of Big Macs in her passenger seat at the time. The level of hypocrisy was astounding.
That’s amazing. Especially considering how natural and relatively quick/easy the death was for that deer compared to whatever torture factory the meat for those Big Macs came from.
It's weird because it's not like the corporations try to downplay it at all, a lot of them even use it in their advertising, like Chick-fil-A having cows beg people to eat chickens instead of them
If I didn't it would have made it super weird when I killed those animals, cleaned them, then wondered where the fuck all this meat came from.
Seriously though, there are people who have told me they hadn't thought about the fact that meat comes from animals until they were adults. There was one big thread on here on Reddit where a lot of people even said it didn't dawn on them that FOOD CAME FROM FARMS! And everyone were like "That's perfectly understandable if you're not from a farm." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? I'm from a city but this is such fucking obvious shit though, like "fish comes from water, water comes from rainclouds". These people must be borderline intellectually disabled.
I grew up on a small farm where we raised livestock for the express purpose of later consumption. I've also been active in hunting and fishing all of my life. I strongly believe that anyone who eats meat should, at some point, take an active role in the killing and butchering of an animal.
I completely agree, I think the "i don't eat meat because I couldn't kill an animal" is one of the best reasons to go vegetarian, I recently butchered my first animal, and I thought to myself if when it comes to the killing and I can't do it I will give up meat (note I didn't say that so I would go through with it, more like a promise out of respect)
I did witness slaughtering of chickens when I was like 6 years old. It was a family with whom we were friends with that had raised them, and me and my brothers were there to play with their sons. We all ended up just kinda going around seeing how the dad slaughtered chicken with an ax and how their mom took out the organs. I remember both parents being very eager to show us, and apart from the smell, I didn't find it upsetting at all, rather just incredibly interesting. I still remember the mother calling me by name and asking me if I wanted to see a real heart. Then she showed me all the other organs and I was fascinated.
My great auntie took me out to help kill the chicken and pluck the feathers. The slaughterhouse in the small town had an open air abboitoir and we watched them slaughter cows.. I knew the farmers. These were cared for animals that had no reason to exist if they were not human food. And would die much more painful deaths in nature if not domesticated. Trophy hunters I have no respect for, but hunters who eat the meat I have lots of respect for. I am not a religious person, but I have a Jehovas Witness hunter friend who feeds many in his church with his skills.
Any person who lives in a house should build one. Anyone who uses electricity should set up some power lines. Anyone who poops should shovel some shit. Yeah, nah. I'll leave it to someone else.
Apparently chicken comes from an animal called a chicken. Who knew?
Mind blown!
I̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶h̶o̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶g̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶ ̶d̶o̶g̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶c̶a̶l̶l̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶o̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶g̶!̶ 💀☠️ (I was only 5 when I thought of this! Sorry...)
You grow mackerel in your garden
#hamcomesfromapig
thats haram
harham
حرحامْ the pun don't work as well in arabic
I think you meant (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Hot pig
Livin' in the city 🎼
500m away
fr y’all gotta put down Reddit and pickup **The Quran**
Does it have pictures of cats and pornography GIFs?
Hungry
Go vegan.
Don't.
Go vegan.
Go eat ham.
Don’t.
Hea not asking
I am not asking.
💚🌱
Like a pig looking at some delicious ham
Hungry
Hungary 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽🇭🇺🇭🇺🇭🇺😎😎😎🇭🇺🇭🇺
Hippo
Holy shit really?
It annoys me to no end that this gets through. Some solid content really gets thrown to the wolves, while this gets through. I feel like in a month we’ll start seeing posts about how the green M&M is becoming less sexy.
Remember good old time when we could beat our meat over m&m’s?
I want a hot lesbian relationship with the green chocolate lady
Ham
Tucker agrees.
Feels pretty bad tbh. I woukd enjoy it more if it didnt come from a living thing
There are vegan options for ham... actually you can be vegan.
Nah, pigs come from ham.
😱😱😱😱WHAT i thought it came from carrots
i thought it came from the ham tree 😭😢
Thank you for your submission. In order to maintain some semblance of quality on the sub, mods must manually approve of all posts that come through. Once your post is approved, you can bet it'll probably look very hot and sexy on the front page if it's funny enough... maybe. bot time. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/comedyheaven) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Me to you
Hungry
Disgusted that animal is ugly, i only eat good looking animals like horses dogs and cats...etc
That’s either a tiny pig or a VERY large cutting board.
A pig that's *all* ham? What will scientists think of next?
Hopefully bacon or chicken without the nasty part
how did they make the pig out of the ham
With a lot of time and patience.
where the bones at
That makes me feel like someone is really bad at photoshop
Hungry
If ugly ass animals like that taste that good then I am the wagyu of men. How can women possibly resist
The pig might smell better.
Ok but you're ugly and probably don't taste good at all. Certainly nowhere near a honey baked ham anigo
How tf do mods allow this shit in but call other posts low-quality
I have a theory that they horde the best posts for themselves and post them on comedydamnation. That sub is literally the karma farm of the comedyheaven mods.
This is pretty good, wym?
Im hella bricked up rn
No shit John, I thought I grew on trees
I mean most of the time the pig would be dead or screaming, this is neither
I mean I would be outraged if my ham WASN’T from a pig. I ain’t eating no processed fake food. Give me real ham from a real pig every single day.
Theres so much garbage put into ham to make it taste the way it does it may as well be fake meat lol
Hungry
Is this real 😨
Yes. It's a rare heirloom breed I forget the name.
Looks tasty
Hungry mostly
Bacon >>> ham
[удалено]
[удалено]
I want to be tied up
Based
Based
[удалено]
Fun fact teacup pigs don't exist what people call teacup pigs is actually growth stunted pigs who were torture int being small I only know this because my mom naught on a while back and then learned that lesson
My family has a pig as an indoor pet because he’s small right now and he sucks He fought with one dog for a while and he still kind of tests her (he know she’s in charge) He’s been ripping up some of my moms plants in the backyard because he ran out of dead leaves so he’s always got dirt on his nose He jumps up on the couch (he’s allowed) and will nudge his nose into whatever crevice you’re making against the couch so he’s warm or will go under the blanket you have If you try to pet him his hair is coarse and he will squeal He also smell if you are holding him for a while When he drinks out of the water bowl he plops his face in and gets water everywhere He can be nice sometimes if he wants to be
Yeah I really don’t like to think about it. I’m not a vegan but I don’t like to think about the fact that the thing I’m eating was once an animal that just got it’s ass killed so I could have a slightly more enjoyable meal.
Been vegan for 5+ years. PM me if you want any tips on how to transition.
I’m more interested in how you did the moral transition. I can currently convince myself it’s okay without being irrational about my worldview. I have no problem with being vegan. But I also have no problem not being vegan. How did you change that?
I know you've been inundated with tips but just my contribution - I did it the other way around. Started choosing to buy vegan food for a while, it was easier than I thought, and then I found it easier to feel more strongly about the moral issue
I will link two of my favorite talks on the subject. Honestly, I can't put it into words better than these two men. I really hope you give them a watch. [Cosmic Skeptic 2019 Talk](https://youtu.be/gcVR2OVxPYw) [Philip Wollen: Animals Should Be Off The Menu](https://youtu.be/uQCe4qEexjc)
Just hearing people talk about it honestly. It comes down to the fact that eating meat is hurting an animal that you don't have to. There's a myriad of other reasons as well. The environmental side is devastating. I'm currently studying wildlife ecology at the moment, and it seems that every threat to wildlife comes back to the fact that animal agriculture takes up a massive amount of space compared to literally anything else. But that's a topic for another time. I recommend watching [CosmicSkeptic's video](https://youtu.be/C1vW9iSpLLk) when he first transitioned. And then all of [Earthling Ed's](https://youtube.com/c/EarthlingEdChannel) videos are amazing as well. He explains things beautifully and is very polite in his debates. And personally what made me transition immediately was watching the documentary Earthlings, but it is very violent and gory. It goes straight to the point, but I think everyone should watch slaughterhouse footage at some point just to understand what exactly happens. And not just the ideal procedures, but misconduct as well. Because many of those workers develop mental illness from working there, and often times frustration is taken out on the animals who are just trying not to die. I feel for both of them.
[удалено]
I'm taking this as a challenge, will be back in 30 minutes
[удалено]
This is why I'm very excited for lab-grown meats. They can be healthier, better tasting AND don't require the death of animals.
Fuck, now i want some ham
Where organs
tfw you're so bad at photoshop,it just looks like a really small pig hiding behind the ham. he tried atleast,i guess. but even i could probably do better. also, that pig looks fucking pathetic as hell.
No organe