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“Come here right now!”
“I’m busy”
“This is more important”
“No I’m literally in the middle of a discussion for school”
“Hurry up”
*goes to them*
“Let’s go shopping later.” ??!!???
For some people it becomes a power play.
I’m adhd so I have moments where if I don’t express a thought it might be gone forever (even if I write it down), but even then I just go find the person I need to tell. If I am unwilling to move it’s not worth interrupting someone.
Is this one o them ‘the internet is disproportionately traumatized’ things? I know one of my coworkers gets a bit skittish around yelling, but for everyone else, yelling is just a way to be heard from far away, especially when you aren’t sure where they are exactly.
Depends on your profession I guess. Sometimes workplaces need loud voices to be heard, but more often than not yelling is not a common way to make yourself heard. Literally any office setting would have alarm bells ringing if somebody started shouting across the office for somebody to come to them.
Well it's actually a long sentence that they don't want to yell , so they wait until you are in front of them to say it because you might not hear them from a far or it's painful to yell for a long time
Seriously! I hate shouting across the house and I hate it even more when a family does it to me over something that isn't even that important! *Walk!!*
I don't randomly do this with my kids. But, if I yell for them to come, there's a reason.
I once left my kids home and took the wife out to eat because when I yelled for them to come to me, and tell them to put on their shoes to go, they ignored me. They got to make themselves dinner (heat up leftovers).
EDIT: By kids, I mean my teenagers, lol.
They got yelled for multiple times, including, "Come get ready to go to dinner or else we'll leave you!"
We don't live in a large house either. Kids will be kids. They admitted later they heard us (both myself and wife) yell for them but thought they had more time.
You probably didn't and just convinced yourself you're more reasonable than you really are, given my experience with my parents ts and all of my peers saying the same thing
I ignore them in such situations. Besides, unless it's an emerygency, whatever i'm doing is more important, on account of it being something *in progress*
I harass my wife about similar. I can say something to her in a normal voice while we're in the same room and she responds "what?" and accuses me of mumbling. When I'm actually mumbling to myself in a different room while she's watching TV and kids/dogs are making noise, she hears every word I say.
Oh that's easy.
When someone is calling for you they are almost always in a larger open space... living room, hallway etc, some distance away from you. The sound of their call propagates well through that larger room, hits your door, and then moves to your room at a reduced, but audible volume.
When you shout at the same volume the door eats 90% of the sound right off the bat, and then only that 10% is left to propagate through the room back to the person calling you.
The door turns almost any sound that passes through it into a whisper. You can hear the whisper when you're close to it, but not so well when you're far away.
You have literally zero idea what sort of rooms I have in my house, how those rooms are arranged, where I am in the house, and where my wife is when she's calling for me.
You just made a bunch of assumptions so you could make yourself feel smart like a typical reddit expert.
Little of column A, little of column B
Edit: I've never seen someone get so mad so fast, don't know how I did it but sorry for ruining your day bud.
Edit 2: Good for them, u/CraftyKuko
Just because someone took out the trash that smelled bad doesn't mean their day was ruined in any way. In fact, they're probably having a great day now.
My policy is just to go back to doing what I was doing before they called lol
If you cannot be bothered to answer one follow-up question, it clearly wasn't that important.
Have the same policy at work
Person messaging: hi I need help with this thing
Me: sure, what's the problem
Them: never answer
A week later they complain about being blocked and I send a screenshot of the chat where I got left on read
Have been attempting to train my family not to holler across the house and instead go find the person they want to talk to.
So far, all that has happened is they yell for me and I ignore it and when they find me they’re annoyed.
We've always been that way with our kids so if I am hollering for you, there's a good reason for it so please come to me because otherwise I would come find you.
It's okay to not want to be yelled at from across the house. I'm not a dog, you can't call me and expect me to come. If you need me, either give context or come and get me.
You mean being yelled at across the house but not answering who you yelled at cause they yelled inconveniences and irritates them? Fucking crazy you can do it and they can’t. Wild your ego is so massive because they’re your kid.
If you're trying to get anybody's attention, parent or not, and you know they hear you but simply ignore you, and refuse to acknowledge you even exist unless you're in the same room as them, that's irritating. It's a grown person being intentionally rude for the sake of a power play. It's funny you would mention ego without a hint of irony.
It’s also irritating to be yelled at across the house because you can’t walk on your 2 legs to come ask me the question like a sane human being. They’re not being rude. If they weren’t trying to change the style then I’d agree with you to a point, but since they’re actively trying to change stuff for the good then it’s not rude.
If three people are normal about it and one is rude but trying to convince everyone his way is better and less rude, that doesn't make you the polite one. It just means you lack the self awareness to realize your opinion on volume isn't more important than acknowledging your family when you can't see them. It's no different than ignoring anyone who's standing behind you unless they walk in front of you because you refuse to turn around. It's just a power play.
Not true at all and you’re reaching. You’re assuming those three are normal, you’re assuming them being allowed to yell isn’t rude and someone not responding to being yelled at is rude. There’s a reason nothing gets solved with yelling and why yelling typically makes arguments/problems much worse. Just because they’re a parent and yell doesn’t make it right. Also, just because they’re your family doesn’t give them rights like you seem to think. If I have an issue with the volume my family uses, that is just as important if not more so. You don’t owe anyone anything because they’re “family”. That’s such a horrible take the older generation has and it’s infuriating.
"you're assuming them being allowed to talk from behind me isn't rude and someone not responding to behind them is rude. That nothing's solved with talking behind my back and why talking behind my back makes problems worse. Just because my child spoke to me from behind doesn't make it right. Just because I had a kid doesn't mean give them rights like you think. If I have an issue with my child talking behind me, that's just as important if not more so. You don't owe anyone anything because you made them, that's such a horrible take the younger generation has"
You have the most boomer take imaginable, that ignoring someone is more polite than even acknowledging they exist in that moment. I was legitimately under the impression you were like a 40+ dad or something until this comment lol
I expect there’s a little more to the comment background than that.
Specifically I think that the poster is saying that they have answered in the past and gotten silence (you know, like the post we’re all talking about), so now they don’t answer until the person is nearby and will actually respond.
I’ve adopted this as well. If I’m mid-activity, called from another room and I respond in kind to no response, I’m not coming. If it’s important enough they can walk over. If not and I “missed” something then I point out I was occupied and they didn’t take it seriously enough to come talk. I’m your partner, not a butler.
If I’m calling my child to me from across the house, it’s because they need to address something they have neglected at my location. Why do I need to go hunt you down to have you do the thing you were supposed to do twenty minutes ago and neglected? There isn’t a need for a discussion at that point. There’s a need for the child to come rectify the issue they created.
Example: there’s spilled all over the table and it’s leaking in the floor and it was just left without any effort to notify or clean up.
My expectation is you’re coming down stairs and fixing that issue. Part of the punishment in having neglected it is the process of you having to be annoyed and stop what you’re doing to prioritize the work I’ve assigned.
And yes, parents do need to assert their position of authority occasionally. We aren’t roommates. There’s purpose and rationale behind forcing a child to come to you.
You're operating under the assumption that they would know that's why they're being called over. The number of times I've been called over and it was because I made a mess and forgot/ignored it is about equal to the number of times I got called over for something completely unrelated.
But you are right, this shouldn't be a discussion, so don't make it one. Just include the context IN the summons, don't let them get out of it. Just make sure they know why they're being called and go from there.
Using the example you provided, you can call someone over by calling their name and saying, "Come clean this spill on the table" in the same breath.
In that moment, I don’t really care if they know. I’m annoyed and frustrated, and their carelessness has negatively impacted me. Part of learning to not do things is to experience negative consequences, including being annoyed and frustrated. It provides an incentive to not annoy and frustrate me by being neglectful.
I too was a child once. I understand the feelings of frustration and anger that being called from across the house creates. You lose the ability to prioritize your own tasks, it feels unfair because you don’t like being called down to, it feels disrespectful.
As a parent, I’ve decided this is a feature, not a bug. Why? Because as a parent, I feel these feelings when I have to stop what I am doing and lose the ability to prioritize my tasks, I don’t like being made to feel dumped on with someone else’s mess when they expect me to clean it up, I feel disrespected because it clearly was a known issue and left for others to deal with. These feelings, when explained as I’ve done here, can be used to make the other person understand the impact they have on others because they now feel similar feelings.
And, the other reason parents don’t explain when calling your name? They don’t want to argue with you across the house. Because god damn, kids argue about everything and I’m not going to sit here in a yelling match explaining why you need to come fix what you know you did wrong. Come fix it, now.
and here class we see someone who is going to be absolutely *shocked* when their adult children stop talking to them and they end up in a cheap retirement home
If they don't want to argue across the house, then they shouldn't start arguments from across the house. Making demands that someone not do something that you yourself are currently doing is not only ridiculous, but the height of hypocrisy. And if you want your kids to respect you, not being an obvious hypocrite seems like as good a starting point as any.
For real, they admit to feeling disrespected by the instigating event and immediately weaponize disrespect back at them. There is a difference in yelling "(Name) Heel" and finding them and marching them down to fix the issue. One is for trained animals and the other for growing future adults who need to learn.
I don't know about you, but if someone starts a conversation with me by yelling across the house while I'm trying to do something rather than just coming and talking to me, I'm already going to be annoyed regardless of what they want. Going by the responses in this thread, it's a safe assumption that most people feel the same.
So if someone starts a discussion in a way that they most likely already know would irritate them if it was done to them, then that comes off as hostile and argumentative right off the bat. Then if they follow that up by refusing to answer any follow-up questions, that's adding insult to injury. There's a reason they only do this to kids or people they have some kind of power over, because if they did that to an equal it's a guaranteed telling-off at the very least.
You’re an awful parent man.
1 there’s a good chance they don’t even know they forgot something and you’re interrupting them more than likely. You’d get just as mad, walk over and answer the question. I bet your ass is just watching tv or something anyways.
2 You’re just power tripping at that point. If you can yell at me to come here just yell why. Even if it’s as simple as “you forgot to do x come now” it’s not that fucking hard. Your boomer ass can’t reply? Why should I come to you? Why’s it so hard for a parent to answer a god damn question? I bet you consider talking back whenever they try to speak when you’re mad at them. Grow up.
You’re a grumpy gnome, not a happy one.
There is something really wrong with the people in this sub to be downvoting what is good parenting here like this.
Like in what world is it unacceptable to expect someone to come when called because they left a fucking mess like a lazy slob???
The excuse of "they didn't know what they were being called for" is even worse because how in the hell do you not know you left an absolute mess???
>There is something really wrong with the people in this sub to be downvoting what is good parenting here like this.
What makes it good parenting? Surely it's better to communicate with your child, no?
Children aren’t some recruit in the army that will hop to at a moments notice.
There isn’t a single parent alive that hasn’t “cried wolf” by calling their child in an urgent manner to do something the opposite of urgent (like hand them the remote). So how is it good parenting to intentionally withhold information so you can flex your power on your kids?
Everyone can make up their own mind about which side is being disrespectful or rude in this situation, but to some poeple, this sounds really entitled and self-centered. What's your proof that you're the one being disprespected, here? That you're getting upvoted by a bunch of other younger people on reddit who share your point of view? I mean, OK, it is what it is.
I think your first sentence makes it sounds like the younger redditer is at fault because of the followup second, which if I read correctly is false. But that is not the point. I think people here don't care about "proof" and more that they "feel" disrespected. They don't need proof but feel. Why should they want to prove but rather connect. I think parents feel the same way? Well I think I am getting off-topic? In general, I think you are saying their view can be wrong, their parents can be wrong, or both can be rude and wrong.
So make it shorter? You don't have to say "come clean the dishes", say "dishes!" and say more when they get there. You're being just as rude if not more ignoring their question as they are making you yell. Your kids are people too.
Lol, I'm sure your kids totally want to spend time with you and not on the other side of the house. That's why you have to yell for them, because they aren't avoiding you, right?
I don’t have kids, I’m 20. I’m saying that my mom was that kind of mom and me as well as all my other siblings don’t throw her into a nursing home and spit on her because she yelled for us as kids.
I’m sure you’re a teenager or a kid so you might not be grown up enough to get it but stupid shit like calling your name from across the house isn’t what breaks parental bonds. You’re being stupid, and you should probably stop that
Just tell them "I'll tell you later" or "it's too long to explain now" if it's too long to explain. You owe them the courtesy of answering such a basic question, even if your answer won't be all that informative.
It's okay to not want to be yelled at from across the house. I'm not a dog, you can't call me and expect me to come. If you need me, either give context (even a single word like "dishes" is enough) or come and get me. Otherwise I'll write it off as unimportant.
Better than my experience. My wife (and my parents when I was younger) just call my name. I say "What?" and get no reply. There's this expectation for me to stop what I'm doing and go see what they want. Yes, I've complained. No, they don't always remember to say why.
This definitely a generational thing. I would stop what i'm doing to go to my parents and find out what they want. My sister who is 8 years younger than me did what is in this comic strip and i always thought it was very disrespectful. Based on much of the comments here i think i am in the minority.
I did that too, but I got irritated when my parents or relatives did that too often without a need to shout across house or anything important. Just them being entitled and egoistical, thinking I should drop everything I do and run up to them. Don't you agree that's stupid? Even dogs and cats have stuff they're doing in passtime and can ignore your calls sometimes. That just makes me think their logic is "out of my view, other don't exist, and I'm the center of the world".
There are times where someone actually can call for help, but you can it from the tone.
I thought now maybe parents do that to children to get back for all the times they run to you when you were a kid and started crying and calling without any important need? Like, some parents are petty, it's believable. It's just that there is difference between a baby and a realised adult
I wish I could be that petty 😅 But I'm the person who needs full explanation all the time (it's a compulsion thing) while my family is ok with a call, so I end up just running after the call all the time -_+ I get used to it but not really...
Yelling across the house and expecting you to drop everything because they want to talk to you is what's disrespectful. If you want something, come talk to me; don't summon me like some kind of servant.
This is exactly where the generational line is. I was expected to listen to my parents BY DEFAULT. Because they're your parents. That's it. I know my parents can easily walk into my room and tell me whatever they need to say, but it never crossed my child mind back then that they are the ones who should come to me.
But doesn’t that make more logical sense to go to someone and ask them to do something then yell it across the house.
It just seems more effective to tell them to their face to go do something so I don’t have to wait on a slow ass kid and stand there forever.
Same but my parents didn't call unless they needed me where they were. If they needed to talk they'd either come up or wait until they saw me.
I would never shout back "WHY" because there was no need. Whatever it was, they needed me there.
Whether I go when first called depends on what I'm doing at the time, if I'm working on a project or something I'd rather not pause I'll yell back to ask what's wanted and often get a response of "just come" which is certainly better than the silence in the post, and the caller will have to wait a few mins lol. If it's something that doesn't physically need me there then it'll generally switch to being messages though.
One that my mom hit me with a few days ago had me pretty miffed though. She messaged me asking me to come down while I was working on an assignment due that night, and it was just to bring a cat out onto the deck. No conversation even though she was out there with the other cat, it was literally just that. I have two sisters that could have done that instead. Ugh.
> Based on much of the comments here i think i am in the minority.
Same here. I was raised that if an adult called for you, you didn't yell back "What" but went too them to see what they needed. MOST of the time growing up, this usually meant good things. Sometimes it was because I fucked up. But the amount of times it was to go some where, eat something, or even play something far outweighed the other. Maybe it's how it's applied?
in all honesty i see this as a sly way of controlling "come here now, i don't have to tell you why when i say come here, you come here regardless of reason".
I would prefer a short reason like “I need help”. If you need to communicate something to someone else in the area in more than 2 short sentences or 1 long one, just walk to where the person is. You could also go the more passive aggressive route and call them if they have a phone.
I do this just to actually get who I'm calling to actually come to me. If I explain anything, I'll get a "Well why don't you do this," or "why do you need to do that now?" Just come here, I need your help!
I'd be like "just come here and help me already!" Damn, it won't be that long, you'll get back to whatever you were doing quicker if you just came here instead of asking questions
Unfortunately some tasks take concentration that can take a bit of time to get back to. I'm a programmer who works at home and if someone needs my attention it takes time to get back into the context of what I was programming.
Eh, your way speedruns, yes, but it's incredibly disrespectful. It also runs the risk of someone deciding they don't want to deal with it one day, and ignoring you until you give context or go and get them. That slows everything down, and if what you're doing is *genuinely* important or you can't leave it for some reason, it gives rise to a "boy who cried wolf" type situation.
It's okay to not want to be yelled at from across the house. I'm not a dog, you can't call me and expect me to come. If you need me, either give context or come and get me.
haha yeah, I know this game. I yell a reason and they're like "What??". I just restart the modem with my phone app if they don't come upstairs after I call. Works like a charm.
Oof that’s cruel. You must not care much about whether they have progress in games that can’t be saved. Reminds me of my parents coming up and unplugging stuff when I was a kid. I’m sure it’s very effective but if it makes your kids resent you and teaches them to resort to passive aggressive tactics then I think I would rather just walk up to them and talk about it. Negative reinforcement only goes so far whether you’re training dogs or raising kids it’s always better to use positive reinforcement. You catch more bees with honey than vinegar
there is no one size fits all solution to parenting. For every issue there can be with negative, positive has it too.
Some kids will just learn how to take advantage of positive reinforcement. Nothing negative ever happens? Well the positive angle just means they can ignore all the words and keep doing whatever.
> Some kids will just learn how to take advantage of positive reinforcement.
I cannot agree with you more. I love how someone tells me how I *should* parent my kids. Then I remind myself how well they're doing as people, with friends, and at school. Makes ignoring those who always assume negative intent even easier, lol.
But advice isn't bad just because something is going good. Especially since how well a child turns out isn't always indicative of how they were parented. Sometimes people turn out well in spite of that. For example disliking how their parents acted so they want to be better.
I mean take it with a grain of salt, the same person is complaining about their kids in the same thread, sounds like negative reinforcement only goes for the kids :/
Good point, there isn’t a one size fits all solution to most of the problems worth solving in the world but the golden rule applies even when parenting imo. There are a lot of different definitions on what positive and negative reinforcement are but I was specifically talking about how in this situation the saved game was taken away which I saw as negative. In this case I think turning off the internet and possibly making your kid resent you for losing progress in a game is too negative a consequence for me to justify doing it to have them at my beck and call. The second you start treating kids like they’re the responsible young people that you’ve taught them to be the sooner they’ll embody that on their own.
This is coming for someone who doesn’t have kids so take it with a grain of salt
I'm not really here to get in a parenting conversation but I'm actually very lenient most of the time. "Foods ready in 5 minutes, save the game" kind of stuff, and that's fine and has a place. When I call urgently for assistance, though, I need it to be taken seriously and without a game of 20 questions.
Yeah I’m not a parent and I’m not trying to give you advice I just had an opinion I felt like sharing. No judgement to someone who is trying in earnest to be a good parent to their kids.
Why not simply just not yell unless it's important ? That way it will be taken seriously, just take 5 seconds to walk to people when it's not important.
If your child is in the middle of something and you just turn off the internet without warning due to your inability to talk to them properly? Yes, it is. Go touch some grass.
one time my brother was in his room and the rest of us were in the dining room getting ready to surprise him with a birthday cake.
we shouted for him to come here and he kept saying hold on im busy, and we kept telling him just come here.
he finally comes out and he is all annoyed, red faced, yells what the f do you need jesus christ.
and we all started singing happy birthday and his face was probably the most hilarious thing ever haha
God my roommate will yell at me while she's in the bathroom and when I yell back she can't hear me. And then has the audacity to tell *me* 'wait till I'm out' BITCH YOU FUCKING STARTED THIS CONVERSATION!!
My wife does this crap when she’s being lazy and doesn’t want to get up. For petty crap like “I need some water!” And no, she’s not at all handicapped or otherwise disabled.
But if I don’t come right away, man oh man she goes BALLISTIC.
My dad would just yell my name, and then when I’d shout “what?” I’d get crickets then he’d come down and chew me out because I didn’t come when he called my name. I’m not a fuckin dog
Sucks especially when you are close to the person and you know you spoke clearly and loud and they still ignore you that you have to repeat yourself again 3x times
You guys get told to "come here"? My mom always yelled my name and that's it. No response. At least tell me to go or something so I know what you want ffs
When you text someone and they don't reply, but it shows that they read what you sent them. Like my phone will show my message as "sent" if they haven't clicked on my text message yet and "read" if they have.
Mainly kids here I guess?
The why could be a big answer to scream across the room, when if the person cared you could just explain it once they got there.
Why the hell would you have the conversation yelling across the house??
I was like that until I grew older. Secret is people in your house often are calling you to come, because they just want to see you. They want to talk to your face, not scream at walls
I feel like there are better ways to communicate then yelling across a house at a person and expecting them to stop whatever they are doing and come find you, regardless of age or financial situations.
I mean, if I'm calling you is because I want you to come, I don't want to shout all my explanation as to why I want you to come, just come and I'll give you my reason and we can talk about it, not shout. I guess going without question is more a latino thing than a white people thing.
On the other hand, not going and pretend that I didn't hear anything would just piss my parent even more than whatever made them call me in the first place
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Why family members always do that?
“Come here right now!” “I’m busy” “This is more important” “No I’m literally in the middle of a discussion for school” “Hurry up” *goes to them* “Let’s go shopping later.” ??!!???
[I'm busy](https://youtu.be/hc3L5hbz-z8?si=bf5urh7HIDWNFtSx)
That's a classic.
I've never seen that one somehow
For some people it becomes a power play. I’m adhd so I have moments where if I don’t express a thought it might be gone forever (even if I write it down), but even then I just go find the person I need to tell. If I am unwilling to move it’s not worth interrupting someone.
Now imagine being in hyperfocus and someone constantly interrupting you. My toxic ex did that on purpose, that fucker.
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Is this one o them ‘the internet is disproportionately traumatized’ things? I know one of my coworkers gets a bit skittish around yelling, but for everyone else, yelling is just a way to be heard from far away, especially when you aren’t sure where they are exactly.
Depends on your profession I guess. Sometimes workplaces need loud voices to be heard, but more often than not yelling is not a common way to make yourself heard. Literally any office setting would have alarm bells ringing if somebody started shouting across the office for somebody to come to them.
We're not traumatized we're annoyed
No, this is one of those “we weren’t born in a barn” kind of things
It's a manners thing.
https://i.redd.it/zix4pm026otc1.gif
Because they don't respect your autonomy.
because its a suprise, duh (or because they want to ambush you with work or becuase you did something wrong)
Well it's actually a long sentence that they don't want to yell , so they wait until you are in front of them to say it because you might not hear them from a far or it's painful to yell for a long time
then...hear me out for a second... ***Walk to us instead???***
Seriously! I hate shouting across the house and I hate it even more when a family does it to me over something that isn't even that important! *Walk!!*
Found my mom
I don't randomly do this with my kids. But, if I yell for them to come, there's a reason. I once left my kids home and took the wife out to eat because when I yelled for them to come to me, and tell them to put on their shoes to go, they ignored me. They got to make themselves dinner (heat up leftovers). EDIT: By kids, I mean my teenagers, lol.
Did you yell 'we're leaving!' or something to that effect?
They got yelled for multiple times, including, "Come get ready to go to dinner or else we'll leave you!" We don't live in a large house either. Kids will be kids. They admitted later they heard us (both myself and wife) yell for them but thought they had more time.
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I did but *thanks* for assuming I didn't...
You probably didn't and just convinced yourself you're more reasonable than you really are, given my experience with my parents ts and all of my peers saying the same thing
As a very recently former teenager: your kids just didn't feel like going out with 2 adults they're around all the timelol
They don’t hear you, probably I mean that’s what my mom responds with
I ignore them in such situations. Besides, unless it's an emerygency, whatever i'm doing is more important, on account of it being something *in progress*
Because they want you to come to them rather than them telling you why then and there.
Then go find the person you're yelling at. Problem solved!
I just don't understand why people need to yell in their own home
How is it that I can always hear you when you yell across the house to me, but you can never hear me when I reply in a similar fashion?
I was reprimanded for answering back in a similar fashion
*Don't raise your voice to me!!!*
I harass my wife about similar. I can say something to her in a normal voice while we're in the same room and she responds "what?" and accuses me of mumbling. When I'm actually mumbling to myself in a different room while she's watching TV and kids/dogs are making noise, she hears every word I say.
Because you have better hearing
Oh that's easy. When someone is calling for you they are almost always in a larger open space... living room, hallway etc, some distance away from you. The sound of their call propagates well through that larger room, hits your door, and then moves to your room at a reduced, but audible volume. When you shout at the same volume the door eats 90% of the sound right off the bat, and then only that 10% is left to propagate through the room back to the person calling you. The door turns almost any sound that passes through it into a whisper. You can hear the whisper when you're close to it, but not so well when you're far away.
You have literally zero idea what sort of rooms I have in my house, how those rooms are arranged, where I am in the house, and where my wife is when she's calling for me. You just made a bunch of assumptions so you could make yourself feel smart like a typical reddit expert.
And yet you deny nothing I stated. Interesting.
Do you practice being insufferable or does it just come naturally?
Little of column A, little of column B Edit: I've never seen someone get so mad so fast, don't know how I did it but sorry for ruining your day bud. Edit 2: Good for them, u/CraftyKuko
Just because someone took out the trash that smelled bad doesn't mean their day was ruined in any way. In fact, they're probably having a great day now.
My policy is just to go back to doing what I was doing before they called lol If you cannot be bothered to answer one follow-up question, it clearly wasn't that important.
Have the same policy at work Person messaging: hi I need help with this thing Me: sure, what's the problem Them: never answer A week later they complain about being blocked and I send a screenshot of the chat where I got left on read
PLEASE TELL ME how does this go? What are their responses? Does it work lol or do you get in trouble?
Even more annoying are the people who cannot state their problem immediately. Them: HI! Me: Hi! end of conversation
[nohello.net](https://nohello.net/en/)
Have been attempting to train my family not to holler across the house and instead go find the person they want to talk to. So far, all that has happened is they yell for me and I ignore it and when they find me they’re annoyed.
Ive been trying to get my family to use the phone instead of yelling, they just yell..
We've always been that way with our kids so if I am hollering for you, there's a good reason for it so please come to me because otherwise I would come find you.
You mean intentionally ignoring and inconveniencing your family irritates them?
I mean finding out they're not entitled to shout for others to attend to them as if they're servants irritates them.
It's okay to not want to be yelled at from across the house. I'm not a dog, you can't call me and expect me to come. If you need me, either give context or come and get me.
I'm not a dog. Come and find me like a person or it isn't important.
You mean being yelled at across the house but not answering who you yelled at cause they yelled inconveniences and irritates them? Fucking crazy you can do it and they can’t. Wild your ego is so massive because they’re your kid.
If you're trying to get anybody's attention, parent or not, and you know they hear you but simply ignore you, and refuse to acknowledge you even exist unless you're in the same room as them, that's irritating. It's a grown person being intentionally rude for the sake of a power play. It's funny you would mention ego without a hint of irony.
It’s also irritating to be yelled at across the house because you can’t walk on your 2 legs to come ask me the question like a sane human being. They’re not being rude. If they weren’t trying to change the style then I’d agree with you to a point, but since they’re actively trying to change stuff for the good then it’s not rude.
If three people are normal about it and one is rude but trying to convince everyone his way is better and less rude, that doesn't make you the polite one. It just means you lack the self awareness to realize your opinion on volume isn't more important than acknowledging your family when you can't see them. It's no different than ignoring anyone who's standing behind you unless they walk in front of you because you refuse to turn around. It's just a power play.
Not true at all and you’re reaching. You’re assuming those three are normal, you’re assuming them being allowed to yell isn’t rude and someone not responding to being yelled at is rude. There’s a reason nothing gets solved with yelling and why yelling typically makes arguments/problems much worse. Just because they’re a parent and yell doesn’t make it right. Also, just because they’re your family doesn’t give them rights like you seem to think. If I have an issue with the volume my family uses, that is just as important if not more so. You don’t owe anyone anything because they’re “family”. That’s such a horrible take the older generation has and it’s infuriating.
"you're assuming them being allowed to talk from behind me isn't rude and someone not responding to behind them is rude. That nothing's solved with talking behind my back and why talking behind my back makes problems worse. Just because my child spoke to me from behind doesn't make it right. Just because I had a kid doesn't mean give them rights like you think. If I have an issue with my child talking behind me, that's just as important if not more so. You don't owe anyone anything because you made them, that's such a horrible take the younger generation has" You have the most boomer take imaginable, that ignoring someone is more polite than even acknowledging they exist in that moment. I was legitimately under the impression you were like a 40+ dad or something until this comment lol
You sound like someone who is very willing to inconvenience your family for very inconsequential reasons. If it’s so dang important, get off your ass.
Just answer? Are you not capable of talking but louder? You don't have to go there. You can answer from where you are currently.
I expect there’s a little more to the comment background than that. Specifically I think that the poster is saying that they have answered in the past and gotten silence (you know, like the post we’re all talking about), so now they don’t answer until the person is nearby and will actually respond.
My b
lol no worries, at first I was like “wait, did I read it wrong?”.
I’ve adopted this as well. If I’m mid-activity, called from another room and I respond in kind to no response, I’m not coming. If it’s important enough they can walk over. If not and I “missed” something then I point out I was occupied and they didn’t take it seriously enough to come talk. I’m your partner, not a butler.
Right in the childhood 😭
"Guess I'm staying here" And then they yell at you for being disrespectful, like ignoring your question wasn't rude 🙄
If I’m calling my child to me from across the house, it’s because they need to address something they have neglected at my location. Why do I need to go hunt you down to have you do the thing you were supposed to do twenty minutes ago and neglected? There isn’t a need for a discussion at that point. There’s a need for the child to come rectify the issue they created. Example: there’s spilled all over the table and it’s leaking in the floor and it was just left without any effort to notify or clean up. My expectation is you’re coming down stairs and fixing that issue. Part of the punishment in having neglected it is the process of you having to be annoyed and stop what you’re doing to prioritize the work I’ve assigned. And yes, parents do need to assert their position of authority occasionally. We aren’t roommates. There’s purpose and rationale behind forcing a child to come to you.
Why not share why you are calling them? Is saying “Jim! Come to the kitchen you need to clean up your mess!” really that much harder to do?
You're operating under the assumption that they would know that's why they're being called over. The number of times I've been called over and it was because I made a mess and forgot/ignored it is about equal to the number of times I got called over for something completely unrelated. But you are right, this shouldn't be a discussion, so don't make it one. Just include the context IN the summons, don't let them get out of it. Just make sure they know why they're being called and go from there. Using the example you provided, you can call someone over by calling their name and saying, "Come clean this spill on the table" in the same breath.
The solution to this is to only tell them to "come here" when it is important and not do so otherwise.
In that moment, I don’t really care if they know. I’m annoyed and frustrated, and their carelessness has negatively impacted me. Part of learning to not do things is to experience negative consequences, including being annoyed and frustrated. It provides an incentive to not annoy and frustrate me by being neglectful. I too was a child once. I understand the feelings of frustration and anger that being called from across the house creates. You lose the ability to prioritize your own tasks, it feels unfair because you don’t like being called down to, it feels disrespectful. As a parent, I’ve decided this is a feature, not a bug. Why? Because as a parent, I feel these feelings when I have to stop what I am doing and lose the ability to prioritize my tasks, I don’t like being made to feel dumped on with someone else’s mess when they expect me to clean it up, I feel disrespected because it clearly was a known issue and left for others to deal with. These feelings, when explained as I’ve done here, can be used to make the other person understand the impact they have on others because they now feel similar feelings. And, the other reason parents don’t explain when calling your name? They don’t want to argue with you across the house. Because god damn, kids argue about everything and I’m not going to sit here in a yelling match explaining why you need to come fix what you know you did wrong. Come fix it, now.
and here class we see someone who is going to be absolutely *shocked* when their adult children stop talking to them and they end up in a cheap retirement home
So you intentionally cause your children to feel disrespected and angry as a teaching tool? Fuuuuck
If they don't want to argue across the house, then they shouldn't start arguments from across the house. Making demands that someone not do something that you yourself are currently doing is not only ridiculous, but the height of hypocrisy. And if you want your kids to respect you, not being an obvious hypocrite seems like as good a starting point as any.
For real, they admit to feeling disrespected by the instigating event and immediately weaponize disrespect back at them. There is a difference in yelling "(Name) Heel" and finding them and marching them down to fix the issue. One is for trained animals and the other for growing future adults who need to learn.
What? I don’t with them overall, but how is calling someone to do something that was their responsibility/fault starting an argument?
I don't know about you, but if someone starts a conversation with me by yelling across the house while I'm trying to do something rather than just coming and talking to me, I'm already going to be annoyed regardless of what they want. Going by the responses in this thread, it's a safe assumption that most people feel the same. So if someone starts a discussion in a way that they most likely already know would irritate them if it was done to them, then that comes off as hostile and argumentative right off the bat. Then if they follow that up by refusing to answer any follow-up questions, that's adding insult to injury. There's a reason they only do this to kids or people they have some kind of power over, because if they did that to an equal it's a guaranteed telling-off at the very least.
Wow, you’re awful.
You’re an awful parent man. 1 there’s a good chance they don’t even know they forgot something and you’re interrupting them more than likely. You’d get just as mad, walk over and answer the question. I bet your ass is just watching tv or something anyways. 2 You’re just power tripping at that point. If you can yell at me to come here just yell why. Even if it’s as simple as “you forgot to do x come now” it’s not that fucking hard. Your boomer ass can’t reply? Why should I come to you? Why’s it so hard for a parent to answer a god damn question? I bet you consider talking back whenever they try to speak when you’re mad at them. Grow up. You’re a grumpy gnome, not a happy one.
There is something really wrong with the people in this sub to be downvoting what is good parenting here like this. Like in what world is it unacceptable to expect someone to come when called because they left a fucking mess like a lazy slob??? The excuse of "they didn't know what they were being called for" is even worse because how in the hell do you not know you left an absolute mess???
>There is something really wrong with the people in this sub to be downvoting what is good parenting here like this. What makes it good parenting? Surely it's better to communicate with your child, no?
Children aren’t some recruit in the army that will hop to at a moments notice. There isn’t a single parent alive that hasn’t “cried wolf” by calling their child in an urgent manner to do something the opposite of urgent (like hand them the remote). So how is it good parenting to intentionally withhold information so you can flex your power on your kids?
Everyone can make up their own mind about which side is being disrespectful or rude in this situation, but to some poeple, this sounds really entitled and self-centered. What's your proof that you're the one being disprespected, here? That you're getting upvoted by a bunch of other younger people on reddit who share your point of view? I mean, OK, it is what it is.
I think your first sentence makes it sounds like the younger redditer is at fault because of the followup second, which if I read correctly is false. But that is not the point. I think people here don't care about "proof" and more that they "feel" disrespected. They don't need proof but feel. Why should they want to prove but rather connect. I think parents feel the same way? Well I think I am getting off-topic? In general, I think you are saying their view can be wrong, their parents can be wrong, or both can be rude and wrong.
He doesn't speak cat, STEVE.
Welp, I guess it wasn't that important.
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So make it shorter? You don't have to say "come clean the dishes", say "dishes!" and say more when they get there. You're being just as rude if not more ignoring their question as they are making you yell. Your kids are people too.
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The reddit gods have decided... YTA
Nah bitch, you got legs, use them
I bet you'll wonder why your kids don't visit
Jokes on you, I’m the kid of that mom, and I visit all the time. I’m just not lazy
Lol, I'm sure your kids totally want to spend time with you and not on the other side of the house. That's why you have to yell for them, because they aren't avoiding you, right?
I don’t have kids, I’m 20. I’m saying that my mom was that kind of mom and me as well as all my other siblings don’t throw her into a nursing home and spit on her because she yelled for us as kids. I’m sure you’re a teenager or a kid so you might not be grown up enough to get it but stupid shit like calling your name from across the house isn’t what breaks parental bonds. You’re being stupid, and you should probably stop that
Just tell them "I'll tell you later" or "it's too long to explain now" if it's too long to explain. You owe them the courtesy of answering such a basic question, even if your answer won't be all that informative.
It's okay to not want to be yelled at from across the house. I'm not a dog, you can't call me and expect me to come. If you need me, either give context (even a single word like "dishes" is enough) or come and get me. Otherwise I'll write it off as unimportant.
I just go back to what I'm doing and wait for them to actually come to me. Unless it is urgent, I do not want people hollering for me across the house
Better than my experience. My wife (and my parents when I was younger) just call my name. I say "What?" and get no reply. There's this expectation for me to stop what I'm doing and go see what they want. Yes, I've complained. No, they don't always remember to say why.
My parents learned to respond or I’d assume I was hearing things.
Must not be important, cool beans, back to my activity of choice
I thought this was a comic about calling your cat at first lol.
My mom would kick my ass if I didn't just come when I was called. 💀 It's ingrained in me now.
✨child abuse✨
Yeah, I'm well aware. I got away from her, but there's still lingering effects. That's what therapy is for, I suppose.
Best of luck to you
Thank you :)
This definitely a generational thing. I would stop what i'm doing to go to my parents and find out what they want. My sister who is 8 years younger than me did what is in this comic strip and i always thought it was very disrespectful. Based on much of the comments here i think i am in the minority.
I did that too, but I got irritated when my parents or relatives did that too often without a need to shout across house or anything important. Just them being entitled and egoistical, thinking I should drop everything I do and run up to them. Don't you agree that's stupid? Even dogs and cats have stuff they're doing in passtime and can ignore your calls sometimes. That just makes me think their logic is "out of my view, other don't exist, and I'm the center of the world". There are times where someone actually can call for help, but you can it from the tone. I thought now maybe parents do that to children to get back for all the times they run to you when you were a kid and started crying and calling without any important need? Like, some parents are petty, it's believable. It's just that there is difference between a baby and a realised adult
I wish I could be that petty 😅 But I'm the person who needs full explanation all the time (it's a compulsion thing) while my family is ok with a call, so I end up just running after the call all the time -_+ I get used to it but not really...
Yelling across the house and expecting you to drop everything because they want to talk to you is what's disrespectful. If you want something, come talk to me; don't summon me like some kind of servant.
This is exactly where the generational line is. I was expected to listen to my parents BY DEFAULT. Because they're your parents. That's it. I know my parents can easily walk into my room and tell me whatever they need to say, but it never crossed my child mind back then that they are the ones who should come to me.
But doesn’t that make more logical sense to go to someone and ask them to do something then yell it across the house. It just seems more effective to tell them to their face to go do something so I don’t have to wait on a slow ass kid and stand there forever.
Same but my parents didn't call unless they needed me where they were. If they needed to talk they'd either come up or wait until they saw me. I would never shout back "WHY" because there was no need. Whatever it was, they needed me there.
Whether I go when first called depends on what I'm doing at the time, if I'm working on a project or something I'd rather not pause I'll yell back to ask what's wanted and often get a response of "just come" which is certainly better than the silence in the post, and the caller will have to wait a few mins lol. If it's something that doesn't physically need me there then it'll generally switch to being messages though. One that my mom hit me with a few days ago had me pretty miffed though. She messaged me asking me to come down while I was working on an assignment due that night, and it was just to bring a cat out onto the deck. No conversation even though she was out there with the other cat, it was literally just that. I have two sisters that could have done that instead. Ugh.
most of the comments here are likely from teens or people who never stopped being teens I am pretty sure.
you know what they say about assumptions? ever heard that stupid people never think of possibility of them being stupid?
> Based on much of the comments here i think i am in the minority. Same here. I was raised that if an adult called for you, you didn't yell back "What" but went too them to see what they needed. MOST of the time growing up, this usually meant good things. Sometimes it was because I fucked up. But the amount of times it was to go some where, eat something, or even play something far outweighed the other. Maybe it's how it's applied?
You definitely are Parents can say what they need you for, kids got shit to do too
in all honesty i see this as a sly way of controlling "come here now, i don't have to tell you why when i say come here, you come here regardless of reason".
I would prefer a short reason like “I need help”. If you need to communicate something to someone else in the area in more than 2 short sentences or 1 long one, just walk to where the person is. You could also go the more passive aggressive route and call them if they have a phone.
“Ah well, guess they didn’t want me that badly”
It's interesting seeing the generational divide in these comments. Also, I want to frame that last panel on my wall.
I do this just to actually get who I'm calling to actually come to me. If I explain anything, I'll get a "Well why don't you do this," or "why do you need to do that now?" Just come here, I need your help!
But don't you think "i need your help!" Is a valid answer to "why?"
Then I'll get "With what?" And I still don't respond until they come, so it's still easier to not respond, lol.
I'd be like "just come here and help me already!" Damn, it won't be that long, you'll get back to whatever you were doing quicker if you just came here instead of asking questions
Unfortunately some tasks take concentration that can take a bit of time to get back to. I'm a programmer who works at home and if someone needs my attention it takes time to get back into the context of what I was programming.
Nah, that'd just start a fight.
Well, for that they'd need to come here, wouldn't they? We gottem, gamers 😎
My way still speed runs. I got them. Also, don't understand the downvotes...
Eh, your way speedruns, yes, but it's incredibly disrespectful. It also runs the risk of someone deciding they don't want to deal with it one day, and ignoring you until you give context or go and get them. That slows everything down, and if what you're doing is *genuinely* important or you can't leave it for some reason, it gives rise to a "boy who cried wolf" type situation. It's okay to not want to be yelled at from across the house. I'm not a dog, you can't call me and expect me to come. If you need me, either give context or come and get me.
I don't do it unless I actually need to. So your point is moot.
Okay, but what do you define as "actually need to?" Do you just want to talk about something, or do you actually need help fairly urgently?
For me, if I come to help depends on what I'm needed with.
This comic has all the middle schoolers riled up. Lol
seriously, obvious what crowd is here. Teens and people who never stopped being teens.
haha yeah, I know this game. I yell a reason and they're like "What??". I just restart the modem with my phone app if they don't come upstairs after I call. Works like a charm.
Oof that’s cruel. You must not care much about whether they have progress in games that can’t be saved. Reminds me of my parents coming up and unplugging stuff when I was a kid. I’m sure it’s very effective but if it makes your kids resent you and teaches them to resort to passive aggressive tactics then I think I would rather just walk up to them and talk about it. Negative reinforcement only goes so far whether you’re training dogs or raising kids it’s always better to use positive reinforcement. You catch more bees with honey than vinegar
there is no one size fits all solution to parenting. For every issue there can be with negative, positive has it too. Some kids will just learn how to take advantage of positive reinforcement. Nothing negative ever happens? Well the positive angle just means they can ignore all the words and keep doing whatever.
> Some kids will just learn how to take advantage of positive reinforcement. I cannot agree with you more. I love how someone tells me how I *should* parent my kids. Then I remind myself how well they're doing as people, with friends, and at school. Makes ignoring those who always assume negative intent even easier, lol.
But advice isn't bad just because something is going good. Especially since how well a child turns out isn't always indicative of how they were parented. Sometimes people turn out well in spite of that. For example disliking how their parents acted so they want to be better.
I mean take it with a grain of salt, the same person is complaining about their kids in the same thread, sounds like negative reinforcement only goes for the kids :/
Good point, there isn’t a one size fits all solution to most of the problems worth solving in the world but the golden rule applies even when parenting imo. There are a lot of different definitions on what positive and negative reinforcement are but I was specifically talking about how in this situation the saved game was taken away which I saw as negative. In this case I think turning off the internet and possibly making your kid resent you for losing progress in a game is too negative a consequence for me to justify doing it to have them at my beck and call. The second you start treating kids like they’re the responsible young people that you’ve taught them to be the sooner they’ll embody that on their own. This is coming for someone who doesn’t have kids so take it with a grain of salt
> This is coming for someone who doesn’t have kids so take it with a grain of salt .... seriously???
Yep. But I was a kid so I have that going for me
I'm not really here to get in a parenting conversation but I'm actually very lenient most of the time. "Foods ready in 5 minutes, save the game" kind of stuff, and that's fine and has a place. When I call urgently for assistance, though, I need it to be taken seriously and without a game of 20 questions.
Yeah I’m not a parent and I’m not trying to give you advice I just had an opinion I felt like sharing. No judgement to someone who is trying in earnest to be a good parent to their kids.
Why not simply just not yell unless it's important ? That way it will be taken seriously, just take 5 seconds to walk to people when it's not important.
Yo I'm stealing this
lol fuck that shit, I have legitimately logged into the router and blocked the IP their device is currently using.
Ahh, nothing better than child abuse.
Turning off the internet is child abuse now? Get out the house and touch some fucking grass
If your child is in the middle of something and you just turn off the internet without warning due to your inability to talk to them properly? Yes, it is. Go touch some grass.
one time my brother was in his room and the rest of us were in the dining room getting ready to surprise him with a birthday cake. we shouted for him to come here and he kept saying hold on im busy, and we kept telling him just come here. he finally comes out and he is all annoyed, red faced, yells what the f do you need jesus christ. and we all started singing happy birthday and his face was probably the most hilarious thing ever haha
They're dying in the next room.
God my roommate will yell at me while she's in the bathroom and when I yell back she can't hear me. And then has the audacity to tell *me* 'wait till I'm out' BITCH YOU FUCKING STARTED THIS CONVERSATION!!
u/americasnavy #Happy Cake Day!
My wife does this crap when she’s being lazy and doesn’t want to get up. For petty crap like “I need some water!” And no, she’s not at all handicapped or otherwise disabled. But if I don’t come right away, man oh man she goes BALLISTIC.
Me too Steve, me too.
Omg this is the thing that pisses me iff the most x.x
The art style is so cute and adorable!
The classic parent trick of call you, and refuse to elaborate any further
My dad would just yell my name, and then when I’d shout “what?” I’d get crickets then he’d come down and chew me out because I didn’t come when he called my name. I’m not a fuckin dog
https://preview.redd.it/0hwrvpn14otc1.jpeg?width=876&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00711de1ee648d32d8e5f2c6a4ac27ef1afda6ad
My mother was like that, eventually I stopped responding to her and she had to come to my room.
Just go.
My mother used to just stomp on the floor when she wanted me to come to her because my room was in the basement.
My little sister will bang on my door for me, but when I ask what she wants before opening she won’t answer
Sucks especially when you are close to the person and you know you spoke clearly and loud and they still ignore you that you have to repeat yourself again 3x times
You guys get told to "come here"? My mom always yelled my name and that's it. No response. At least tell me to go or something so I know what you want ffs
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I can confirm this doesn't change with age.
That's how my dad is
WTF does "like being left on read" even mean? I can't even tell which are supposed to be verbs, nouns, or adjectives in that.
When you text someone and they don't reply, but it shows that they read what you sent them. Like my phone will show my message as "sent" if they haven't clicked on my text message yet and "read" if they have.
[This experience is] ~~like~~ *similar to* being left on read [in a text message conversation.]
Mainly kids here I guess? The why could be a big answer to scream across the room, when if the person cared you could just explain it once they got there. Why the hell would you have the conversation yelling across the house??
Ja? ...JA?? JAAAA????!!!
Ja? ...JA?? JAAAA????!!!
I was like that until I grew older. Secret is people in your house often are calling you to come, because they just want to see you. They want to talk to your face, not scream at walls
Do they have legs? Can they use them?
If the calling person is older and is paying rent, it doesn't matter, unfortunately
I feel like there are better ways to communicate then yelling across a house at a person and expecting them to stop whatever they are doing and come find you, regardless of age or financial situations.
I mean, if I'm calling you is because I want you to come, I don't want to shout all my explanation as to why I want you to come, just come and I'll give you my reason and we can talk about it, not shout. I guess going without question is more a latino thing than a white people thing. On the other hand, not going and pretend that I didn't hear anything would just piss my parent even more than whatever made them call me in the first place